Don Juan DeMarco (1994) Script

DON JUAN: My name is Don Juan DeMarco.

I am the son of the great swordsman Antonio Garibaldi DeMarco...

...who was tragically killed defending the honor of my mother...

...the beautiful Doña lnez Santiago y San Martine. l am the world's greatest lover.



WOMAN: You know, 1 0 and under....

DON JUAN: I have made love to over a thousand women.

I was 21 last Tuesday.

-Good evening, sir. -Good evening, Nicholas.

DON JUAN: No woman has ever left my arms unsatisfied.

Only one has rejected me.

And as fortune would have it, she is the only one who has ever mattered.

This is why, at 21 , l have determined to end my life.

But first, one final conquest.




-May l? -Um, well, actually, l'm expecting a friend.

He's been delayed, but he should be here soon.

Well, l will not linger.

l am Don Juan.


That's very funny. ls there a costume party at the hotel?

No, l am Don Juan.

Directly descended from the noble Spanish family.

And you seduce women.

No, l never take advantage of a woman. l give women pleasure...

...if they desire it.

lt is, of course, the greatest pleasure they will ever experience.


There are some women...


...a certain texture to the hair...

...a curve to the ears that sweeps like the turn of a shell.

These women...

...have fingers...

...with the same sensitivities as their legs.

The fingertips have the same feelings as their feet.

And when you touch their knuckles... is like passing your hands along their knees.

And this tender, fleshy part of the finger... the same as brushing your hands around their thighs.

And finally....

DON JUAN: Every woman is a mystery to be solved.

But a woman hides nothing from a true lover.

Her skin color can tell us how to proceed.

A hue like the blush of a rose, pink and pale.

And she must be coaxed to open her petals with a warmth like the sun.

The pale and dappled skin of a redhead...

...calls for the lust of a wave crashing to the shore... we may stir up what lies beneath...

...and bring the foamy delight of love to the surface.

Although there is no metaphor that truly describes making love to a woman...

...the closest is playing a rare musical instrument.

[MOANS SOFTLY] l wonder, does a Stradivarius violin feel the same rapture as the violinist...

...when he coaxes a single perfect note from its heart?




[lN ENGLlSH] Every true lover knows that the moment of greatest satisfaction...

...comes when ecstasy is long over...

...and he beholds before him the flower which has blossomed beneath his touch.

Sorry, l'm late, honey. lt was unavoidable.

l hope you went ahead without me.

DON JUAN: Oh, well. Now l must die.



-Hey. TOBlAS: Evening, Jack.

How you doing, old man?

-l'm, uh.... -You're putting on a little weight here.

-Well, you know.... -Well, what?

You and me been going to the same bakery.

Sorry to do this to you, Jack...

...but this a job that only Supershrink can handle.

He's a jumper to be reckoned with, l'm telling you.

What's the costume?

TOBlAS: He's Don Juan.

He, uh, wishes to end his life, uh, gloriously.

He wants us to send our finest swordsman to do battle with him.


Preferably Don Francisco De Silva.

Did he actually say this?

Yeah, l was up there.


-How do you get in this? -Over here.

MAN: Go ahead.

There you go.


Are you sure this is how Freud started?

What do l know? l'm just a dumb cop. You're the shrink.


Where is Don Francisco De Silva? l will fight none other.

-Uh-- -Where is he?

[lN SPANlSH ACCENT] Don Francisco De Silva...

...left for Majorca on this weekend...

...but l am his uncle, Don Octavio Del Flores.

Oh, this will not do. l must die at the hands of Don Francisco. l am Don Juan DeMarco.

You are the Don Juan?

This is correct.

Why, with so many successes, does the great Don Juan wish to end his life?

Because there is nothing left to live for.

Do you mean to say there is nothing at all?

Not when my Doña Ana is everything.


Her name is Doña Ana.

Now you understand why l must die. l ask only that it be at the hands of Don Francisco.

So it may be said l died in glory from a worthy opponent.

Don Juan, this young woman, uh, Doña Ana, must be very special. l would like so much to hear about her.

Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love...

...until your every sense is filled with her?

You inhale her, you taste her... see your unborn children in her eyes...

...and know that your heart has at last found a home.

Your life begins with her...

...and without her, it must surely end.

l have no doubt that losing a love like this can be very painful.

But why lose hope along with life? Why lose everything?

You must not forget, my friend...

...that the power of your love...

...the power of love of Don Juan is eternal and will not be denied.

l apologize for this unmanly display, Don Octavio.


l accept.



GUARD: Hey, morning, Jack.

White male, age 21 .

Brought in on a 1 0-day paper after suicidal gesture.

Apparently precipitated by a breakup of a relationship.

And the, uh, patient indicates no previous history of suicide.

No record of any prior hospitalization.

There's no record of anything.

School, jail, mother, father, parents. Nothing.

And this kid is bizzako...

...and is, uh, severely delusional...

...and believes he is somebody else.

Anybody we know?

-Name is Don Juan. -Ha, ha.

-Yes, l'm working nights again. WOMAN: Yeah.

-Okay, settle down. -l'm not kidding you.


[CHUCKLlNG] Let's settle down now and--

-l'm always the bad boy in these-- -Jack.

Who wants him?

-l do. -Wait a minute.

JACK: Don't be exasperated. -Jack, wait a minute.

-Are you not retiring? -Of course, l'm retiring.

But l think this would make a hell of a swan song.

This sounds like a long-term case to me, the way you've described it. l'm gonna give it to Bill. Do you have the time?



Uh, hold-- Let's-- Wait, hold on one second.

Uh, no offense, l'd like to discuss this in some detail. Can we do it?

-Talk about it later? ls that all right? SHOWALTER: l look forward to it. l want this kid.

Be reasonable. Jack, you're leaving in 1 0 days.

-Well, so is the kid. -No, no, no.

A delusional patient like this does not get cured in a week and a half.

The instant his 1 0-day paper expires, he'll be committed.

We'll have to transfer him to Bill anyway. lf this was a year ago and l said l could get this kid out of here in 1 0 days...

-...there wouldn't be any doubt. -That's probably true.

Yeah, so that's not the real reason that you're giving him to Bill.

Oh, Jack.

You've been doing it by the numbers for months now, you know it.

You're burnt out. That's why you asked for early retirement.

You don't need more time to travel with Marilyn.

So please, Jack, don't make my life harder for me than it has to be.

How long have l known you? Twenty-five years we've gone around like this.

During that time, you're the best clinician this place has ever seen.

The best. Everybody knows that.

But now, it's time-- You know what? lt's time to get away.

Where are you going? The pyramids. Oh, it's wonderful.

All that sand, the sky, those vistas. You'll have a wonderful time.

-l wish you could see your face. -Jack. l'm giving him to Bill.


This kid is gonna do a flamenco number on Bill's head until it looks like a tortilla...

...and it's gonna be on your watch.


Would you, um--? Would you like to talk about why you attempted to kill yourself?

You want Don Juan DeMarco, the world's greatest lover, to talk to you?

What do you know of great love?

Have you ever loved a woman...

...until milk leaked from her... though she had just given birth to love itself...

...and now must feed it or burst?

Have you ever tasted a woman...

...until she believed that she could be satisfied...

...only by consuming the tongue that had devoured her?

Have you ever loved a woman so completely...

...that the sound of your voice in her ear could cause her body to shudder...

...and explode with such intense pleasure...

...that only weeping could bring her full release?


Where is Don Octavio Del Flores?

Who? Ahem. Who?

My host at this villa.


[lN ENGLlSH] Oh, villa.



Where is Don Octavio?

-Do you mean Dr. Mickler? -Who?


Why do you think that, um, Dr. Mickler is, uh, Don Octavio Del Flores?

Why do you think Don Octavio Del Flores is Dr. Mickler?

JACK: Well, hello there, Willy.

How are you?

-Don Octavio Del Flores? -l just said--

No, you told him that you were Don Octavio Del Flores.

-Jesus. -You told a delusional patient...

...that you were a 1 7th-century Spanish nobleman.

The idea was to get him in the bucket, right?

Well, um, he's all yours, Don.

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you tell, uh, Paul?

[CHUCKLlNG] Oh, you bet l did.

And what did he say?

His exact words were, "Jack broke it, let him fix it."


This is very kind of you to show me the way, Gloria.


JACK: Yeah?

GLORlA: Dr. Mickler? -Yeah, come on in.

Um, Dr. Mickler, Dr. Mickler, l brought, um...


...Mr. Juan here for his appointment.


Thank you, Gloria. l can return, um, at the end of the hour and see him back.

-No, it's okay. l'll see him-- -No, it's really no trouble. l'll be passing by this door in exactly one hour right on the nose.

-Gloria, thank you. Thanks a lot. -No trouble. l have a break coming up.

-Thanks a lot. -lt's no problem.

What are you doing to these girls?

God almighty.


Your people have taken my mask, Don Octavio.

They had no right to do that. l never remove my mask in public.

Do you understand the consequences of this?

Not fully, but, uh....

Well, l will be cursed.

Well, l can certainly understand how that could be upsetting.

Think how you would feel if you were made to take off this mask that you are wearing.


Well, our masks really get us in Dutch, don't they?

-How long you been wearing yours? -Since l was 1 6.

l placed the mask on my face...

...and vowed never to remove it on the day l left my mother...

...the dark beauty, Doña lnez. l have some pills here. And, uh.... l'd like you to take them. l think they'll help.

Pills to stop delusions?

Well, then l am afraid we must take these pills together...

...because you are severely deluded.

Well, what delusions have l got?

This fantasy that you are some, uh, Dr. Mickler. l'm very disappointed in you, Don Octavio. Very disappointed.

Here's the drill. Ahem.

They can make you take the medication. That's state law.

You're on what they call a 1 0-day paper.

And, uh, for those 1 0 days, they can do whatever they think is appropriate. l am not deluded. l am Don Juan.

And if you will not medicate me for these 1 0 days, l will prove it to you.

All right, and what if l don't believe that you're Don Juan?

Then l will take your medication...

...and you may commit me for as long as you like.


Do we have an agreement?

Do l have these 1 0 days to tell you my story?


Very well. l was born in Mexico.



DON JUAN: lt became evident from a very early age...

...that there was something different about me.


l myself slowly began to realize...

...that my play was not like that of the other boys.

By the time l was 1 0, the attraction that females had for me...

...was becoming of some concern to my mother.

She presented me to God...

...and asked the Lord to save me before it was too late.

Apparently, it was too late.

The lessons l learned in church were not without value, however.

By the time l was 1 2, l understood the obligation the Lord spoke of... share one's blessings with those less fortunate.


BOY: Doña Querida.



DON JUAN: One night, l watched Doña Querida at the window in her slip. l noticed for the first time... a woman's underclothing barely touches her skin... it rides on a cushion of air as she moves... the silk floats above her body...

...brushing her flesh like an angel's wings.

And l understood how a woman must be touched.

-Are you ltalian, Mexican, or Spanish? -That is all you have to say?

-You want to know my nationality? -No.

Your name is DeMarco. That's ltalian.

You were brought up in Mexico.

And when you speak English, you speak it with a Castilian accent.

Well, my accent has been colored by my many travels.

Very well, l will answer your question. l was raised in Mexico.

My father was born in Queens.

His name was Tony DeMarco. He was ltalian.

The Dance King of Astoria.

Excuse me. Your father was a dance king here in New York City in Astoria?


DON JUAN: My father had come to Mexico to work for a pharmaceutical company.

He had just gotten off the bus...

...and was walking to a nearby hacienda to inquire about renting a room...

...when he first saw my mother.

Both her parents were killed by sickness.

My mother was younger and stronger, and survived.

She took over their plantation.

Sitting in the sunlight on the veranda...

...the bright rays lighting her hair, she was a vision so beautiful...

...that at first, my father could not believe his eyes. lt was love at first sight.

They held each other in the moonlight, kissing and touching...

...dancing until morning.

JACK: l thought you said that your mother was standing in the sunlight.

DON JUAN: That's my father's story. My mother says it was at night.

They were married the next week.

My father took the name Don Antonio...

...and became el patrón, running the coffee plantation.

Their love was like a perfect prayer.

Even God could not deny it.

I was born exactly nine months later.

MARlLYN: l said to him, "Let me see if l understand this.

You have been exploring our car for six days now.

You still have absolutely no idea what's wrong with it...

...why the radiator keeps running out of fluid.

So this means that we get the car back just as broken as when we brought it in.

Except now you want us to pay you $430 for the time it took you...

...not to figure out what's wrong."

You know what he said to me?

He said, "We can keep looking if you want, Mrs. Mickler...

...but it's $65 an hour."

Jack. Jack.


-Well, pay it. Pay the guy. l don't know. -Pay it?



Where were you just now?





-l was looking for you. -A little springtime.

-Are these for me? You're giving me tulips? -Excuse me, nurse. Grace, l'm sorry.

-Jack, why are you giving me tulips? -l wanna talk to you.

-What's the occasion for tulips? -Ha, ha. Listen, to hell with it.

-This kid is fantástico. -l'm glad he's meeting your expectations.

There's something l wanna discuss with you. l know you do. Let me tell you what he did this morning.

Please, wait. Wait, Jack.

When do you intend to start Don Juan on medication?

He's been here two days.


-You do intend to give him medication? -Well, l don't know.

Wait, wait. He's a delusional patient. Meds? lf l give him medication, Paul...

...l'm never gonna get into this world that he's in.

-And it's a wonderful world and l-- -Okay.

-No meds. -Okay.

-Temporarily. -Thank you.

-lf you do one thing for me. -What's that?

Well, right now, uh...

...Don Juan is having a distracting influence on the female staff up in his unit.

[LAUGHS] l mean, officially in his hacienda, there are more nurses on Valium than patients.

-Would you do something about that? -Yes, l took care of it, my dear man.

Don't worry about it.

Hey, man, it's time for your shrink.

-Who are you? -l'm your new nurse, Mr. Compton.

But you can call me Rocco, Casanova. l am not Casanova. l am Don Juan.

Yeah, right. Come on, man.



Come in.

Doc, Don Juan.

JACK: Hi, Rocco. Thank you.

Well, got a real treat for you today.

DON JUAN: Here are her nipples and here's her pubis.

Her lover is kissing the contours of her bottom...

...just where it falls on her upper thighs.


-Why don't we move on to something else? -What do you have in mind, Don Octavio?

Why don't we talk about who l am?

-Yes, l know who you are. -Who am l?

You are Don Octavio Del Flores, the uncle of Don Francisco De Silva.

And where are we here?

Well, l haven't seen a deed, but l assume that this villa is yours.

What would you say to someone that, um...

...that said to you this is a psychiatric hospital...

...and that you're a patient here and that l am your psychiatrist? l would say that he has a rather limited and uncreative way of looking at the situation.

Look, you want to know if l understand that this is a mental hospital.

Yes, l understand that.

But then how can l say that you are Don Octavio...

-...and l am a guest at your villa, correct? -Yeah.

By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye.

Now, there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it's true.

When l say that all my women are dazzling beauties, they object.

The nose of this one is too large.

The hips of another, they are too wide.

Perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small.

But l see these women for how they truly are...

...glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect...

...because l am not limited by my eyesight.

Women react to me the way that they do, Don Octavio...

...because they sense that l search out the beauty that dwells within them...

...until it overwhelms everything else.

And then they cannot avoid their desire... release that beauty and envelop me in it.

So to answer your question, l see as clear as day...

...that this great edifice in which we find ourselves is your villa. lt is your home.

And as for you, Don Octavio Del Flores... are a great lover like myself...

...even though you may have lost your way...

...and your accent.

-Shall l continue? -Yeah.

Very well.

Back to Mexico.

My mother, God bless her, does not give up easily.

When l was 1 6, she made one last attempt to instill Christian values in me... finding me a tutor.

My mother's judgment left something to be desired.

Doña Julia was 23 and married...

...the faithful and devoted wife of Don Alfonzo, a man of 50. lt was no secret that Doña Julia would have been much better served by two men of 25.

...which are God's."

DON JUAN: My feelings consumed me day and night. l felt within me a torment, a burning wound, a yearning...

...combined with the most indescribable bliss.

But what was it?

JACK: And, uh, you had no idea what it was?

DON JUAN: Well, l had an idea...

...but nothing definite.

My father, understanding that manhood was nearly upon me...

...began to teach me how to use my sword.

JACK: So there was a lot of sword-fighting going on when you were growing up?

DON JUAN: Well, it was a small and isolated town that resisted modern technology.

DON ANTONlO: Advance. Lunge.

DON JUAN: l noticed that the smile on Doña Julia's face was gone.

It have been replaced by a sadness even sweeter than the smile. l sensed that Doña Julia was having a struggle within her.

And my own situation was becoming no less difficult.

l could only think of Doña Julia.

To keep myself from going mad, I turned into a metaphysician. l considered the meaning of truth...

...and being...

...and God.

l thought of the timetable for the sun's demise.

And then l thought of Doña Julia's eyes.

l never will consent. l never will cons--

JACK: But somehow she consented.

DON JUAN: She did.

Then suddenly, l was hit with a revelation.

The way a woman's body is made, the way a man's body responds to it...

...the fire burning in my loins...

...the intense desire to merge as one. lt all came together... one brilliant flash.


There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio.

What is sacred?

Of what is the spirit made?

What is worth living for?

And what is worth dying for?

The answer to each is the same.

Only love.

Doña Julia was my first love.


...l see our time is up.

Uh, the mask?


Obsessive compulsive disorder...

...with erotomanic features.

Confirm delusional disorder.

Confirm depression with obsessional features.


Possible hysterical personality.


l take it you want to go upstairs.

What gives you that idea?

Why are you listening to opera?

You hate opera.

You have very, very beautiful eyes.

Come here.

Well, you know, l have to go upstairs, and, uh.... l'm gonna take my calcium, so my bones don't break into little pieces.

My aspirin, so my heart doesn't clog up.

My Metamucil, so l don't get colon cancer.

And, of course, my estrogen to convince my body that l'm still 23.

Come here.


What the hell you doing in there?


Rain check?

You know, l've been thinking about our adolescence.

You know, there isn't any transitional battleground left for us anymore. l just feel as though we surrendered our lives... the momentum of mediocrity. l mean, what happened to all the celestial fire that used to light our way?

Oh, Jack, no. Listen, honey.

You know those fires are a lot of trouble.

They caused a lot of trouble. Fires are really hard to control.

They flare up. They burn a whole lot of energy.

And then they suddenly die. l wanna tell you something. That's bullshit, because all that--

-No, it's not. No, it's not bullshit. -Yes, it is.

A good, steady, warm glow.

You know, that does the trick over the long run.

No fire, no heat.

No heat, no life.

-That's the equation. -No, no, Jack.

May l assume that the upshot of all this... that you will not be easing gracefully into retirement?

Goddamn right, baby.

What am l gonna retire from, life?

Listen, we haven't started yet.

This is a 1 2-rounder and this is the third round...

...and you and l are gonna go out of here like Halley's Comet.

-l can't-- -Jack, listen to me.

What is going on?

You've been funny lately.

-l don't know. -Come on. You gotta tell me, Jack. What--? lt's no secret. l don't know. l've been feeling.... l've been treating this kid lately. He thinks he's Don Juan.

And he's got a costume and he's got a sword and a mask and, uh....

And so who is he really?

l don't know.

But he's, um....

He's getting to me.


Goddamn, you're a great broad, really.

-l know. -Uh-oh.

This is gonna be a good one.


JACK: Oh, Jesus. Not there, honey. -Ouch. Wait. l'm sorry.

-Oh, sorry. JACK: Damn.

-What is that, your hair comb? MARlLYN: Ow! Sorry.

-l'm on my hair clasp. JACK: Wait.

MARlLYN: lt's got teeth. Ha-ha-ha. -l don't wanna be injured here.

DON JUAN: At every instant, we fell into each other's arms.

Time stopped for those four months.

There was neither day nor night, just my love and hers.

As for Don Alfonzo, he spent so much time away...

...handling the details of his trading business...

...that l was practically able to live in Doña Julia's house.


I truly believed l had found everlasting paradise...

...until one night.


DON ALFONZO: My sweet bird.


Where is he? Where have you hidden him?

For God's sakes, Don Alfonzo. What sort of drunken fit has seized you?

How dare you suspect me?

Me, who the thought of infidelity would surely kill.

Yes, search and search and search.

Heap insult on insult.

You ungrateful, perjurious, barbarous man.

Are you quite satisfied now? l will kill this man.

My sword.

Where's my sword?

He's going to kill me.

Quick. Go out the garden gate.


l will kill you.

Don't run! l will kill you myself! l will kill you! lt was the last l was able to see of my tutor...

...the lovely Doña Julia.

ln great remorse, she left that night and was never to be heard of again.

Don Alfonzo was humiliated that he had been cuckold by a 1 6-year-old boy.

So to retaliate, he announced publicly...

...that he and my mother had been having an affair for many years. lt was, of course, a bald-faced and terrible lie.

My father was quick to defend my mother's virtue.

l have no doubt my father would have easily prevailed...

...were it not for one fatal mistake.

He looked up at my mother's eyes...

...and it was too late.


Don Juan.

Oh, God. l will lose them both.

You have killed my father.

Now you must kill me.




Forgive me, Father.

[SOBBlNG] Of course l forgive you.

You are my son.


DON JUAN: And so it was that my father, the great swordsman Don Antonio...

...died in my mother's arms as our tears fell upon him.

That evening, to hide my shame forever...

...l placed a mask upon my face...

...and vowed never to remove it in the presence of another.

My father left me too soon, Don Octavio. l never had the chance....


JACK: Ah. Great. Great. -Hi.

-Are you Dr. Mickler? -That's right.

-Sign here. -Okay.

Would you just hold that for a sec?



Hello, dear.


So, Jack, what's the occasion?


WAlTER: Excuse me, ma'am.

You're the occasion.

No, really, Jack. l mean, are you sure there's no, uh--?



Excuse me, ma'am.





-Where's Rocco? -Ah, Rocco.

He has moved to Madrid.




Then he feels so guilty...

...he feels so overcome with shame that he puts on this mask...

...and he vows never to take his mask off again as long as he lives.

Now, is that a perfect myth or not? lt's wonderful. lt's a wonderful story.

-Jack, this kid is remarkable. You're right. -lt's great.

And it is, it's like a Greek myth. lt's exactly like a Greek myth.

The son becomes potent, sexually active.

Leads to the destruction of his father, who he replaces as, of course, he must.

He must someday to become a man.

But the guilt of replacing the man who loves him and gave him life...'s too great, it's enormous.


-So he must hide it by wearing a mask. -Beautiful. lt's time to put the kid on meds, Jack.

You wanna drive this kid nuts?

Fill him full of antipsychotic chemicals...

...and in 48 hours, you're gonna have a nut case...

...that you are not ever gonna forget for the rest of your life. l'm telling you, Jack, he is a schizophrenic.

He is not Don Juan.

How do you know he's not Don Juan? l've been with the kid. l know--

Has he ever told you, Jack, in any of his sessions...

...that he's been living with his grandmother in Queens?

-Has he ever told you? Has he mentioned it? -l haven't got any details like that.

l got a call about an hour ago from the department.

Now, please, Jack, put the boy on medication.

-Paul, you don't understand. -Jack--

-You really-- -Please, take it easy.

-He is your patient. -Jesus.

You got five days. You got five days. l am pissed off at you.

Now don't forget we're barbecuing Saturday.

Really pissed off.

BOY: All right.

You got it.



Uh, Mrs. DeMarco?

MRS. DeMARCO: Hello? -Yes, this is Dr. Mickler.

Remember we spoke on the phone about your grandson? l wanted to have a--


MRS. DeMARCO: Doña Ana, she's all he talks about.

He waits for the mailman every day like he's delivering cannoli.

See, the boy's convinced he's found his one true love.


He's worse than his father, Tony.

Tony, the Dance King of Astoria.

-This is his father? -Yeah.

JACK: He won a prize for dancing?

MRS. DeMARCO: Well, you never heard of him?

Did his father sell pharmaceuticals?

Well, Tony? Ha, ha.

Oh, Tony couldn't sell a boat to a drowning man.

No, he worked for a dry cleaning concern.

Yeah, he did drapes and sofas.

His father still alive?

Well, no.

Didn't Johnny tell you anything?

Tony died in a terrible car crash.

-lt was five years ago. JACK: ln Mexico.

MRS. DeMARCO: ln Phoenix.

-They never lived in Mexico? -No, never.

-Well, where is his mother now? -Oh, l couldn't tell you.


We were never what you might call close.

Ahem. Mrs. DeMarco, how often did you see your grandson...

...when he was, uh, growing up?

Only once.

Johnny was 6.

Do you mean that that's the only time you saw Johnny in your entire life?

Until three months ago. l, uh--

[LAUGHlNG] l opened the door...

...and there was Zorro.

JACK: l just seen your grandmother.

And she's got the bizarre impression that your name is, uh, John Arnold DeMarco...

...that you grew up in Phoenix, Arizona...

...and that your father died in a car crash. lnteresting fantasy.

But l suppose if it makes her happy... is harmless enough.

She told me something else.

She told me that your father worked in a dry cleaning establishment.

You want me to tell you some crazy story like my grandmother's... you will think l am sane. lf that is what it takes with me to get out of this place, l will be happy to do it.

But there is a rumor that you are supposed to be a psychiatrist.

[CHUCKLES] l've heard that rumor too.

Well, can you not tell when you meet a woman who's completely insane?

Are you saying that your grandmother made this all up? ln so many words, yes.

She hated my mother, but it's not unusual, because my grandmother hated everybody.

So we stayed as far away from her as possible.

-ln Phoenix, Arizona. -ln Mexico.

You mean you never lived in Phoenix, Arizona?

No, l never lived in Phoenix, Arizona.

What about your father's death? l have told you how my father died, Don Octavio.

Her name is Chel-- l'm not gonna take it away from you. l wanna point out her name is Chelsea Stoker. lt says it right there.

They never use their real names.

She is really my Doña Ana.

She's trying to teach me a lesson.

You know, l....

[CLEARS THROAT] l once treated a young man, about your age.

And, uh, he fell in love, oddly enough, with a girl on a poster.

And he was very insecure about women.

And, uh...

...he tried to contact her.

Oh, he must have called the magazine a hundred times.

Till finally somebody at the magazine...

...took pity on him and gave him a number.

So he called her.

And they had a one-minute conversation and she let him know...

...she never wanted to speak to him again.

And then what happened?

What happened next? He tried to kill himself is what happened.

Doña Ana is real, Don Octavio.

Would you like to hear about her? l suppose so.

DON JUAN: Shortly after the death of my father... mother decided that it would be best to send me to Cadiz... though a voyage at sea would purify me.

She herself had determined to take her vows... the convent of Santa Maria, where she is a nun to this day. l was being sent forth like a dove of promise.

Of course what my mother never knew was that the ship was run by scoundrels. lnstead of Cadiz, they set sail for an obscure Arabian sultanate...

...where all the passengers were immediately sold into slavery.


JACK: You were sold into slavery in a sultan's kingdom?

DON JUAN: That's correct. l was purchased by one of four wives of a sultan...

...and led off by her eunuch.

Though l had no idea why l was made to dress as a female... mask had been replaced by a mask of another sort.

And so l supposed I was still keeping the vow l made to hide my face.

The sultan had a harem of 1 500 young women.

So the demands he placed on his wives were relatively minor.

l was presented to the sultana. l still did not understand why l was required to be in drag.


You may rise.

And you may go.

You may stay.

DON JUAN: Slowly l began to develop a theory...

...why I had been brought to the sultana.

But l still loved Doña Julia.

l am sorry. l love another.


Kill me if you must. l am prepared to die for l cannot go on living...

...knowing that l defiled the memory of the woman...

...who brought my manhood alive and made it sing.

lt sings?

DON JUAN: l was prepared to lose my life rather than debase my love.

How could l be unfaithful to my dear Doña Julia...

...who had nearly given up her life to love me?

How could l sleep with another woman...

...after giving myself, body and soul, to sweet Doña Julia?

How could l forsake the purity of love...

...I had with my flower Doña Julia?

Actually, l was surprised at how easily the past can be overcome.

You know, my friend, until this afternoon...

...l had always believed that a man could love only one woman. l have been badly misled. lt is absolutely incredible to me that just a few hours ago...

...Doña Julia was the only woman who existed.

And now, now there is the magnificent Sultana Gulbeyaz.

-What a glorious body, breasts, breasts-- -Will you please shut up?

DON JUAN: Suddenly, I was struck by the danger of my situation. l prayed they had found a place to hide me...

...where l wouldn't be discovered by the sultan.

As fortune would have it...

...their solution was a brilliant one. lt was God's canvas in all its natural beauty.

For the next two years, my days were spent with the sultana.

JACK: And your nights?

My nights were spent with the 1 500 young women of the sultan's harem.


Come to me, my little cockatoo.

DON JUAN: At the end of two years...

...I noticed that l didn't have the same enthusiasm as before.

This could be a problem.

You may rise, my little dove.



DON JUAN: Oh, well. All good things must come to an end.

Gulbeyaz, sensing the danger to us both...

...arranged for me to depart within the hour. l had learned to love in a thousand ways...

...each one a lesson in the soul of a woman.

l knew l would miss every one of them.


They'd stolen my spirit...

...and infused me with joy like a May Day breaking.

l would, uh-- l would like to hear this in complete detail...

...but there's something that l must do now.

So l was wondering if we could continue this tomorrow.

-Of course. -Good. Thank you.






You're home early.

How would you feel about, uh, coming upstairs?

MARlLYN [CHUCKLlNG]: Okay, go. Ah! Ah!

JACK: Okay, wait a sec.

Over here now.


Oh, what happened? Ha, ha.

-You're no good at all. -No, l am too good. l got three. Look.

-l got three. -Well....

-When is it my turn? -l got five.

Oh, you got five. l know. Well, you're better than me.

-Did you get it? -Ha-ha-ha! Yes.


ALVlRA: Okay.

Last but not least, the moment we've all been waiting for, Don Juan DeMarco.

Well, uh, ahem.... ln respect to that, l wanna say that, uh...

...l've got a meeting with the kid later on today...

...and l think that it might very well be the definitive meeting.

Jack, Jack, this isn't a treatment conference.

This is a disposition conference.

We have to know what to do with this kid on Monday when his 1 0-day paper expires.

Do we ask the judge to commit him? Do we let him go?


Uh.... l don't know. l won't know until l have the meeting with the kid.

Look, Jack, he's a suicidal patient.

He's not suicidal. lt was a call for help, if it was anything.

You're not suggesting that we let him go, are you?

-No, l'm not suggesting that. SHOWALTER: All right.

Then first thing on Monday, we have to get the judge here for a hearing.

Also on Monday, we'll have to transfer him to another therapist...

...because that's your last day, Jack. Bill?


You think you're up to it?

Yeah, if he's on medication, l could.


He'll be on medication.

All right, l'll give him, uh...

...l don't know, 1 00 milligrams of Mellzac, qid.

And, uh, Bill can begin to decrease it...

...once his anxiety lessens about being attacked by his patients.

Could you tell him to stop? l mean--

And if he refuses, do we restrain him and give it by injection? l'll get him to take the medication, for chrissake. l mean, what's the big concern here?

He hasn't been assaultive.

Anyway, l've gotta go.

No, no. There's one other piece of business.

Okay, we're ready.

ALL [SlNGlNG]: For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow Which nobody can deny


JACK: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life."


Come in.

l am Doña lnez, the mother of Don Juan DeMarco.

May l come in, Don Octavio?

Uh, please.

l came as soon as the archdiocese de Mexico City told me...

...that my son had called them.

What exactly is wrong with him?

Well, l am-- l am very grateful, Sister, that you've come at this strange moment in time.

Because there is so much crucial information that l need... order to help your son.

How can l be of help?

For instance, is it a fact that your son grew up...

...with you and your husband in Mexico in a little small town?

San Luis, Coatzacoalcos. lt's not very far from lzúcar de Matamoros. Have you heard of it?

Well, not many have. lt's very small.

You know, in order to help your son, l have to have some information. l need to know about Don Alfonzo, about his father, Don Antonio...

...and about your relationship with both of them. l think it would be best if you would discuss these matters directly with my son.

My vows to God do not allow me to talk about certain aspects of my past.

Uh, l don't think, Sister, that l'm making myself clear. l've been to see your son's grandmother.

And she tells me that neither you nor your son have ever lived in Mexico.

She said that you met Tony in Queens, New York...

...and until recently, she said she only saw her grandson once in her life...

...when she was in Phoenix, Arizona.

She also said that, uh, five years ago...

...your husband died in a car crash.

Now, in addition....

l'm sorry.

But you must understand, Sister, that l need to know the truth.

The truth is inside you, Don Octavio. l cannot help you find that.

lsn't she exactly as l described her, Don Octavio?



Doña Julia has become a nun at the same convent.

So it seems. l told my mother she could go back today, but l will miss her.

She really has a way of putting me in touch with what's real.


Why are you so certain...

...that your mother was not having an affair with Don Alfonzo?

My mother was not having an affair.

Well, l think you can understand how the thought might have occurred to me...

...when you told me how your father died. lt's never been clear to me what, uh, your mother meant...

...when she cried out, "l will lose both of them."

Did she mean both her husband and her son?

Or both of her lovers?

My mother was not having an affair.

Do you understand why it's necessary--?

Shut up!

You think l don't know what's going on with you, but l do.

You need me for a transfusion...

...because your own blood has turned to dust and clogged your heart.

Your need for reality, your need for a world where love is flawed...

...will continue to choke your veins until all the life in you is gone.

Well, my perfect world is no less real than yours, Don Octavio. lt is only in my world that you can breathe, isn't it?

lsn't it?


You're right. My, uh, world is...

...not perfect.


What is this thing that happens with age?

Why does everyone want to pervert love and suck it bone-dry of all its glory?

Why do you bother to call it love anymore?

This will be our last session. l'm, uh, retiring on Monday.

Then l will tell you about Doña Ana.

And you will decide if l should be set free.

On the second day after l left the sultana...

...our ship was caught in a typhoon. l alone survived.

After days drifting at sea...

...I found myself on the island of Eros.

She was 17 and nature's bride.

Fresh and fair...

...and unacquainted with the miracle of physical love.

Her beauty was not made of shapes and forms...

...but shined from within like a star.

There are those who do not believe that a single soul born in heaven...

...can split into twin spirits and shoot like falling stars to Earth...

...where over oceans and continents...

...their magnetic forces will finally unite them back into one.

But how else to explain love at first sight?

We were convinced that there was no other life beneath the sky but ours.

We believed that we would never die.

You must promise me that we will be together for all time.

That we will live here on this beach always.

And that should circumstance ever separate us... is here we will come... wait all eternity...

...for the other to return.

l love you.

Promise me. l promise.

One day, l asked her to be mine.

l love you too much.

But l cannot love you any less.

lt's of no great consequence...

...but will you be wearing your mask throughout our lives together?

l have sworn to do so.

Then l ask only that you tell me what has led you to make such a vow.

DON JUAN: l related the sad tale of my Doña Julia...

...never guessing for a moment that my sweet Doña Ana believed...

...l had saved myself for her as she had for me.

l will accept that l'm not the first if you will tell me with the same honesty... many others...

...there have been.

DON JUAN: This would have been a very good time for me to lie...


...but truth is a terrible habit.

lncluding you...

...there have been...


...1 502.

I could see that this was a sum substantially greater than the one she had in mind...

...and not easy for her to assimilate, try as she might.

As her pain struck at my heart like a dagger, l begged to be forgiven.

I removed my mask as a gesture of remorse...

...but it was to no avail.

To hide her humiliation, she took up the mask...

...and left me forever.

And so my adventures came to an end...

...and with them, the chance that one day, like my father...

...I would die in the arms of the woman l loved.

Who am l?

Sit down.


...are Don Juan DeMarco...

...the greatest lover the world has ever known.

And you, my friend.

Who are you?

Who am l?

l am Don Octavio Del Flores.

Married to the beautiful...

...Doña Lucita...

...the light of my life.

And you, my friend... have seen through all of my masks.

-Here's your water, doctor. -Thank you.


You said that you believed, Don Octavio.

l believe that you are Don Juan.

But there are a lot of people that don't.

Then l will do as you ask... friend.


MARlLYN: You're retiring on Monday.

So, what are we gonna do?

JACK: We're gonna get airborne, l'll tell you that.

MARlLYN: l'm trying to tell you something. l like it here. l like my garden.

We need to be a flight of eagles.

l don't see myself in that picture.

Oh, what's the matter with you?

-What are you talking about? -l don't know. l need to find out who you are.

Jack, you know who l am.

Who's brought you coffee for the last 32 years?

Listen, l know a lot about dirty coffee cups and l know a lot of facts...

...but l need to know all about you.

What do you wanna know? l wanna know what your hopes...

...and your dreams are...

...that got lost along the way...

...when l was thinking about myself.


What's so funny?

l thought you'd never ask.


MAN: Hey, doc. Good morning.

Do you understand why you're here, young man?

Okay, then. l'd like for you to tell me a little about yourself.

Where you grew up...

...what made you want to kill yourself and how you feel now.


[lN AMERlCAN ACCENT] l was born... Queens.

Me and my parents moved to Phoenix when l was a kid. l hated it.

When l was 1 6... father was, uh, killed in a car accident just outside of town.

My mother...

...she'd been having these affairs and my father knew.

Anyway, she felt so guilty, she decided to become a nun.

So within three weeks of my father's death...

...she was in a convent somewhere in Mexico.

And there l was.

l had nowhere to go. l didn't know what to do.

So one day, l was, um...

...looking at this magazine...

...and there was a centerfold.

And l knew she wouldn't go for me the way that l was, you know, so l.... l'd been reading a book...

...this book...

...and, uh...

...l decided to become Don Juan.

So l called up the magazine.

They wouldn't help me. They wouldn't give me any information.

So l was about to give up...

...and one day l reached this woman who worked there. l think she was a temp or something.

But the woman took pity on me and she gave me the girl's number.

So l called her up. l said that we were meant to be together...

...and she called me a creep and then she hung up.

l just decided that my life was over so l was gonna kill myself.

Or at least l was gonna make people believe that l would kill myself... l could get some attention or something. l never really had any intention of killing myself.

Thank you.

This has been very helpful.

Someone will show you back to your room now.




...this seems like a perfectly normal kid to me. l've had a couple centerfold fantasies myself...

...and l'm certainly not gonna commit him to a mental institution for his.

-Your Honor, l think his behavior is suspect. -Let him go.

JACK: Thank you very much, judge. -Uh, Your Honor, l have some records--

As his doctor, l concur with your views...

-...and thank you. ALVlRA: l spent more time with him. l will call you later, and thank God for medication.

-Yes, all right. Have a wonderful vacation. JACK: Goodbye, Bill. lt's nice to see you. Your Honor, l think the boy--

BlLL: He's taking my patient. -Doctor--

Nurse, as head of the hospital, let me speak.

JACK [lN SPANlSH ACCENT]: My name is Don Octavio Del Flores.

I am the world's greatest psychiatrist. l have cured over a thousand patients.

Their faces linger in my memory like summer days.

But none more so than Don Juan DeMarco.

And so it was not so insane that we all found ourselves on an airplane...

...flying to the island of Eros.

lt was like the garden before the fall.

Everything seemed possible.

And how does our fable end?

His Doña Ana, his centerfold...

...was she waiting all eternity on the beach...

...for him to return as they had promised each other?

Why not?

Sadly, l must report that the last patient l ever treated...

...the great lover, Don Juan DeMarco...

...suffered from a romanticism which was completely incurable.

And even worse, highly contagious.

[English - US - SDH]