Drunken Master (1978) Script

"Five hundred dollars for the death of Chen Kuo-Wei."


Hey, friend. Not bad style.

You should take it easy. You look done in.

Guess you must be the Four Door Fist champion... a Chen Kuo-Wei?

I'm Chen Kuo-Wei. Your name, if you have one.

Sure, it's Thunderleg.

I've heard of his Devil's Kick. Of course, yeah.

Everyone knows in the kung-fu world it's a method that's never been defeated yet.

And won't be.

I suppose I should warn you.

I've been given good money to kill you.

What the hell are you talking about? Someone's paid you to kill me?

I'll give you twice as much to kill him!

You could, only my honor comes first.

You must realize I'm paid to kill. The contract's sealed.

So you must die. Don't be so sure of that... for Chen Kuo-Wei, champion of the Four Door Fist... has never yet been defeated.

I'll break every bone in your body... and send you to hell.


Professor?

What is it, Master? You'll finish the lesson.

I have something to attend to. Yes, sir. I will, sir.

Stop!

I'm now going to demonstrate.

The first lesson I will instruct you in... is the five animal styles. He's gone bonkers.

Three-legged cat. Four-eyed rat.

Let's get started.

Dragon Sees Tiger.

Tiger Rears. Snake's Tongue Darts Out.

Panther Sees Fire. White Crane Spreads Wings.

No, hold it, hold it.

There isn't any power in your wrist. How do you expect to make progress?

Well?

Straighten it up.

I suppose you think that was real funny, pulling tricks on your teacher.

We'll see. Take that! And that!

And that! Who was it? Tell me.

Who was it?

Fei-Hung did it.

So, Wong Fei-Hung.

Now, just because your father is Master Wong... gives you no damn right to cause any trouble here.

Oh, balls. Who told you kung fu is just a good start?

So that's it. You mean to say my kung fu is lousy?

It's not as bad as that, but it isn't the greatest.

Suppose you show me exactly what's wrong with it.

Right. Just take a look at your Panther Sees Fire.

What's wrong with it? Look at that spread between your paws.

That's an open invite.

And that Horse's Stance is completely bowlegged.

I bet on one sweep that l...

There, you've been thrown, yeah? just wait.

Shut up! Shut up, you turkeys!

You like to test your teacher's kung fu, would you?

And magpies can't fly, can they?

I can stand almost anything, you bum!

But I've taken enough of this bullshit.

Right. Come on!

You're wide open. Do you know that, Teacher?

What?


See how good his Horse Stance is?

Pot belly! Shut up!

Look, right foot.

Cheat, cheat, cheat!

Bastard!

Fresh roosters.

Fresh roosters.

Get your fresh roosters here.

You know, Fei-Hung? You're the cat's ass... making old crow face dance like that.

He's always so full of bullshit.

He thinks he's God's gift to kung fu. just to see him makes me puke.

You sure made him dance. You should have seen his face.

That's not bad. So have some more then.

Dumb head. I was talking about that chick there.

That perfect frame she's got. Yeah, sexy.

How much? That one is 76.

You mean that one in the red?

Imagine what it'd be like to be kissed by that chick.

Kissing her is for children.

I could get that broad to hug me.

Come on! She wouldn't.

You wanna bet on it? I'll bet you a whole dinner.

She's hot, that kind. She won't even take a second look at you.

Come on. All right.

A whole dinner then.

Watch.

He's in for trouble.

What is it? It's agony!

Something's in my eye. What's the matter?

Blow it out, please. Can't you help me?

Can you?

One more, huh?

He did it! Did you see that?

Thanks a lot. Hey, a snake! There!

It's all right. Don't be scared. I'll kill it.

That's a technique. Sure is.

I gotta try that on your sister.

On my sister?

Thought you could come fresh with my daughter, did you?

Me touch her? She was asking for it. Dumb bitch.

Don't deny it. You just wanted to lay your filthy hands...

On her? That's a laugh. She's much too ugly for that.

Think you're real smart, huh?

I'll teach you a lesson, boy.

So you want to play at kung fu.

Try this!

She's not joking. The old bitch is tough.

Hey, guys, you gotta help me.

Some friends they make.

You're nothing but a skinny old woman, so I'll let you win.

Fresh peas. Fresh...

Son of a...

What's your game? Stumbling about like some drunken stooge.

Hey, Jerry!

Come, who'll buy See, mister. jade antique.

Is it real? But of course, sir.

It's an heirloom, mister. It's worth money, sir.

How much is it? Ten bucks.

That's very expensive. Come.

Here. Just ten cents?

Mister, you can't give me this. Hands off!

This wouldn't buy an old plate.

I couldn't sell such a valuable piece for only ten cents.

You don't want to sell, you give me my money back.

But my jade!

That was all I had in the world, sir. Pay for it!

You expect payment from me? Take this!

Daddy, are you all right?

Please, at least give me something.

Sure.

What's wrong, old man?

He smashed my jade, and he won't pay.

Shithead. Piss off.

Think you're talking to your mother? I'll see you rot in hell!

You'd better hand over this man's money.

Pay?

Not before I put you in the ground.

It's too bad you feel that way. Know why?

There's nothing been going right today, so you caught me in a bad mood.

Now, I'm gonna have to teach you how to pay.


You're mad, huh?

You almost killed me!

My knuckles were barely missed.

This is for you. Now get going! Thank you, sir.

That's enough. I'm dying.

Don't worry. You're safe. It's only the blunt side.

I have no intention of killing you... yet.

Please!

That one really came close. I beg of you!

And watch what you're doing.

Drop dead.

You're fortunate because it seems I do miss... although it's quite by accident.

Oh, please!

I chop-chop-chop this meat.

So then I slice-slice-slice.

And then I beat-beat-beat. Mix it all together!

It sure has brightened the day I met you.

You know this? It must be at least... ten years, brother, since we've seen each other.

And you hardly look a day older.

I would not have recognized my niece.

She isn't a bad girl... just a bit naive.

And where is Fei-Hung? That young rascal.

He's a handful. Always out with his pals getting into trouble.

Very grown up now. You won't recognize him.

By the way, you'll stay for a few days?

I say, Fei-Hung, come and meet your aunt.

Come on, lad. I'll... Coming.

Say hello.

Hello, Auntie, cousin.

Hello. Hello, Fei-Hung.

What on earth's the matter?

I seem to have pulled a muscle in my neck.

I'll soon put that right. Here, let your aunt fix that.

I'll be all right. Relax just for a second.

Oh, dear.

Well, you feel better? Thank you, yes.

Be all right now.

Your son's grown into a real smart-looking fellow.

Yes, he's quite clever. Also, his kung fu's not bad.

Oh? I should like to see his kung fu sometime.

All right. You would enjoy a match.

I believe that you are strict with him, from all accounts... and I've heard he's regarded very highly in the neighborhood.

That's a fact. Tell me what they say.

They've said that he's courteous and polite... setting other boys a good example, well-mannered.

That makes me really proud to be his father. Come here, son.

I'm so glad he isn't like the other boys around here.

They're real sex maniacs.

Yes, that's right. Only today... my own daughter was attacked by one of them.

Besides that, when I went to rescue her, he even attacked me.

You mean to tell me both of you were attacked here in my own town?

Would you recognize him?

As if I could forget. Yes, I'd recognize him.

And when I find him, I'll flay the skin off his back.

Fei-Hung, come along.

Uncle, there's really no need. But why?

Because he's in this very room standing quite near us.

But where? Standing right over there.

Your precious son Fei-Hung.

What?

It can't...

Down on your knees!

Please!

You'll pay for this, you scum, you criminal!

Oh, my gosh.

Yes, Mr. Li. What has happened?

I'll tell you what. That bastard son of yours beat him up!

Why should he do that?

Because he's nothing but a wild animal. Viciously attacked my son... breaking his legs, arms and the poor boy's skull.

Oh, my. He really beat him up.

He looks like a dumpling. Well, what are you going to do?

Father!

You vermin from hell! I'll beat you to death!

Please, Father!

Brother, you mustn't kill your own son.

Yes! I've got to kill this devil.

He's a disgrace to the name of Wong.

Sounds bad for a teacher of your standing... to flog his own son to death.

If he's got to be punished, I suggest that...

Mr. Li here is quite capable.

Stop him!

It was your son I beat, so let him punish me.

There.

Now you hit me. I promise I won't fight back.

So you're funny, huh?

All right, Mr. Wong. What are you gonna do?

As from this moment, I disown him.

This slime is no longer mine.

Do what you like with him.

So my suggestion... you pick your man.

He'll fight Fei-Hung, who'll be strictly forbidden to fight back.

Ten strokes should be enough.

Now, Mr. Li, do you approve of the punishment?

Ten strokes won't be needed. I'm gonna do it in three.

Master.

Hear? I'm gonna fix that squid.

And be sure you leave him looking just like I am now.


The Divine Eight.

That palm style of yours, it's really something.

I'm only starting.

I'm not dead yet!


Enough.

You've made your ten hits now, Mr. Chao.

And you said you'd put me down in three.

Snake and Crane Together.

What? Strike the vital points.

Let's try and divine it again.

I told you I got style.


Hey, my jacket's getting dirty. Take it.

I bet you regret you didn't pay for that jade.

You got the wrong guy!

Are you all right, Master?

You idiot!

Master, now I look just like you do.

Okay. You win.

Smart of you to play that trick on us. I'll get you back. Let's go.

You haven't heard the last of us. Let's get out of here.

Careful with my son. I'll get you yet!

Careful, careful.

He came in a furor with one ragged cripple.

He left in a furor with two on the stretcher.

You fight quite well. I must give you credit.

But I'll still kill you! Oh, no.

You mustn't kill a child of your blood.

Break his wicked ways through practice.

I've tried everything with that young bastard. Right!

From now on, you won't be allowed to leave this house.

We'll start with five hours Horse Stance.


Now, don't move.

Have some more water.

Hey, your Horse's Stance is improving.

Are your legs a bit shaky? They aching?

You know, I feel real sorry for you. Chicken, chicken!

I bet you this will tickle.

Stop. Don't do that. just what exactly are you trying to do?

Carrying out my orders. See, it's your father's idea.

He says for every bowl you break... you stay another hour, you bastard!

Darned idiot.


Master.

Yes, his stance appears to be pretty steady.

You're sure he hasn't had a rest? Oh, no.

I've been watching him just like a hawk.

Absolutely not. You're certain?

Well, you have problems? Sure.

I feel very tired.

Tired? You don't seem to be. I am, sir.

You mean you're tired, though you're sitting on a chair?

What? Sitting on a chair? Let me see.

Oh, my God! So he is! On a chair!

You young criminal.

I've tried to teach you, but no.

Well, it leaves me no alternative then.

I will have to ask your great uncle to come and discipline you.

Who's that?

You stepped on my foot again!

Hurry up, bean head.

It's choking me. Won't be a second.

Oh, hurry.

Practicing your kung fu upside down, huh?

I'm dying. I'll get you something to eat.

Here.

Wait'll I get some water. Get this thing off my neck.

Okay. It's killing me.

Hurry!

Come on, get up.

Why did you get down so fast?

Here, eat this.

Hey, is it true Su Hua-Chi is gonna train you?

That's right. That's sure bad news for you.

You know what they say about that bastard?

I know he's a bit rough.

He's far worse than that. You'll be crippled for life.

How's that? I'm telling you, honest.

I'm not kidding.

I knew one young guy who was his student.

Gee, was he a mess. What?

He lost all his teeth. His hair torn out.

Should have seen his busted nose. His own father didn't know him.

That monster devil... he's a real sadist, a torturer.

But what can I do? You sure better do something.

Sure. I gotta think fast.

Think, damn you. Think!

Let's see. You might...

We run like hell!

That's not running. Come on.

Come on, hurry. Yeah, okay!

Follow me.

Cookies.

Cookies. All right. Take a seat there.

Excuse me. Do you mind if I sit here?

No, sit down. Go on.

You're all by yourself. That's good.

I don't like eating on my own. Go on, sit down.

This restaurant's not bad, huh? just look at the color of their food... so red and juicy.

Real good smell. Really fantastic, huh?

What can I get you, sir?

This is such a surprise. Where's your friend?

What's that? No, go ahead, eat.

For you, sir?

We'll start with a bowl of shark's fin.

Sorry. We got no shark's fin. That's too bad.

Soy pork, roast goose with plenty of fat.

Steamed grouper. Sorry, sir. No grouper.

Never mind. just bring what you have.

Stewed abalone, shrimp noodles, and be quick about it.

Yes, sir.

A pint of wine. Right away. One wine.

Can you really eat as much as that?

Yeah, easy. I'm growing still.

Gotta keep myself strong and fat.

Here, sir.

That's great. Oh, boy!

Now we eat. Give me!

That's okay.

Have a little wine. Be my guest. Really, l...

Drink up. This looks good. Most kind of you.

Oh, boy, I'm starving.

Here, just taste that.

Eat up!

Go on, don't be shy. Help yourself to what you want.

Enjoy yourself. Don't stand on ceremony. Here.

To us. Cheers.

Go on!

Say, boy...

He sure gets the food down him.


Feels great.


They sure know how to cook here. That meal was really something.

Delicious. Now, listen, friend.

I gotta move now, but I got an idea.

Tonight I insist you've gotta be my guest. Don't worry.

I'll pay as I'm leaving. We'll meet again tomorrow night.

You must finish your dinner, okay?

See you tomorrow. Bye for now.

Sorry. See you tomorrow.

That'll be exactly $1.05.

I ain't gonna pay. You're not?

Well, who is?

The old guy over there. He's paying.

He's a good friend of yours? I'm his son, you idiot!

Is that so, now? just how many fathers do you have?

For your information, that guy owns this place, and you're talking to his son.

I guess that leaves you a bastard.

Yeah. Thought that the meals went free here?

We don't give credit, so get your money out.

I ain't pouncing meals from you. Forgot my money, that's all.

I'll fetch it right now and I'll pay your check.

Gorilla, you just take him.


No, hold it, hold it. Hold it. Stop.

Bastard pig you are. You were so greedy for all that food.

Now, spit the lot out. Yes, right out.

One roast goose.

One soy pork out.

That's enough. And one pint of wine yet.

Now you want to look in my belly. I feel hungry again.

Break it up right now, or do you wanna kill the boy?

He's not finished yet. He's gonna clean the toilets up.

You wanted something to clean, huh?

Thanks, old man.

You dare to interfere in our business?

I'm the Gorilla. Watch how I jump!

jump then.

Now he's jumping, all right.

It hurts!


Here's how to wash your face.


You thief!

Let's be friends. Please. Okay, let's be friends.

You've got strength in your arms, but you've brains of straw.

Stop that. Stop that.

This way.

You know what?

I can't help wondering how old you are, old man.

For your age, you sure are tough.

A necessity.

I've had to be tough to be able to survive to this age.

No, I'm not like young men today. None of you can fight.

Always getting thrashed.

Today wasn't a good day. just bad luck, really.

Usually I'm tremendous. With just one blow, I'd have done the lot.

You've still gotta see my real style.

That sounds to me like an excuse.

I forgot to ask you what your name is and why you couldn't pay for your meal.

That's a long story, mister. And what's your name anyhow?

It's Mr. Su.

There's a fellow with that same name screwing up my life!

That's why I'm here on the run. Who is he?

He's this creep named Su Hua-Chi.

It was my own father asked for this guy to fix me.

You afraid then? What? I'm not afraid at all.

Though I've heard it said he's real cunning... violent and mean.

But one day I'm gonna fix him!

That old fart.

Wait till I see him. I'll tear him apart!

You'd fix the old fart? Yeah, sure.

Hey, just where do you come from?

I have the sky as a roof, and I sleep wherever I may.

You're a bum. That it? Sure.

Everyone knows me as Su Hua-Chi.

That's the name, young fella.


Lucky for me, I got fast legs. That was a new one.

You run as fast as you like. Let go!

You can't get away though.

Now, you listen. Your father has paid me well to train you... and I'm gonna do it.

It hurts. How long will this take you?

A day? One year exactly.

I'll never make it.

As you already got your loot, might as well forget it.

I wouldn't do that. I think I'll enjoy it.

I'll see you in hell!

Damn you!

Let me go. You'll break my neck.

Well, you're just a stupid old fool.

You like to pretend that you're a real tiger, do you?

Well, I'll show you what a tiger's about.

I see your tiger's got a bad paw, eh?

It's still there.

All that kung fu. Looks like dancing.

Crane Attacks!

Crane Strikes!

Angry Crane Eats Shrimp.

The Crane Flies.

Your finger's stronger than teeth.

Is it broken?

Now let's start!

You scared me then.

Climbing trees to get away now!

Bastard. Monkey Kung Fu.


You're choking me.

Ready to learn?

Help! Answer! Answer!

My poor head. Well, are you?

I guess I haven't got much choice... but I don't much care for your methods of finding your pupils.


Let me down! I don't wanna die yet!

That's enough.

I thought you were supposed to be a teacher.

You'd break a gorilla in half.

All students with style must learn how to fall.

Right? That was only your first lesson.


Where were you going?

I was going to have a piss. Have a piss over there.

All right!

Now, fill up the right jars and the left jars.

Good. Now, back to the right jar.

Back jar to the front jar.

And now to the right jar.

Now to the front jar.

All right.

Stupid old man, playing games. Back jar to left jar.

Breaking my back is what this will do.

Come on, hurry!

My balls are busted.


Come on out of there.

Shit!

Hope you drown in there, you old crank!


Hey, you, get out.

Asshole, get out of here. Can't you hear?

Are you blind? These pants won't dry on their own!

You're done hanging around here, you bum. Keep moving your ass.

Who says? This your pad? And suppose I don't move it?

A big mouth on a wet ass.

It should be taught some manners.

How's it feel? All dry?

Right, little fart. I'll give you dry. I'll shove you in head first!

Come on. Watch the birdie.

What's that supposed to be?

Kung fu? Who taught you that load of shit?

No one calls my dad's kung fu shit!

judging by you, your old man's kung fu stinks.

I wouldn't ask him to wipe the shit off my damned asshole.

Perhaps it's better you called me Father.

Get bent, okay?

Sit. Stand up.

Sit down.

You see, all my dogs must obey.


I won't even need my hands for you, stupid.

Ah, you better use them!

I'm not scared!

Well, shithead, had enough?

I won't stop until you sink in hellfire!

Get back! What?

Ah, so you're in your turtle shell now.

Your skull's like butter. It's not worth it.

You can study kung fu for 20 years if you want... but you will never beat me.

Me kill a nobody like you? No.

Could ruin that good reputation of mine. Bend down, you little squirt!

Crawl between my legs! Go clean crud and pissholes!

Crawl!


Hey, hold it.

Aren't these your pants?


Well, now, what's that supposed to be?

Kung fu? Who taught you that load of shit? Your father?

Your skull's like butter.

Even if you were to study for 20 years, you wouldn't beat me.

To kill a nobody like you? No.

It could ruin that good reputation of mine.

Bend down, you little squirt! You'd best go clean crud and pissholes!

Crawl between my legs! Crawl!


Careful with that wine.

It's one of the best, huh?

It's good, huh?

Let me dry your clothes.

Bare knees? What happened to your pants?

My God! It's burning! My coat!

Help!

Oh, look at my coat.


My wrists are broken!


My wrists... they hurt.

Your wrists seem to be very weak.

If I were a rabbit, I'd want to eat greens.

The tea's weak, and it's cold again.

Oh, Teacher, it gives me a headache now.

You're hungry, eat.

What's wrong? Weak wrists?

Can't pick up your food? Here.


Teacher, I'm finished.

That was quick. Yeah.

Use these smaller cups to empty again.

You go on.

Oh, I wish I'd known about this part first.

Oh, this is killing me!

Hey, Fei-Hung. What?

Crack this walnut for me.

Sure.

You've gotta do it this way.

There. Now you try it.


Please, Teacher! Haven't I cracked enough for today?

A monkey would die under the strain.

Why don't we take a walk, huh?

All right.

I did it! Good.

You won again.

Oh, boy!

You're quick at it. Yeah.

Okay, Teacher, what are you gonna bet on it?

Hey there. Get going now.

What, go now?

I haven't made my wine money yet.

I still got to win some more yet.

There! Who's betting? Get your money on the table.

Back your winner now.

Come on! Come on, play!

Play the game! Play the game!

Hey, what is this? Come on!

Can the noise.

Play.

You win!

We've won again! We've got it right on! This is great!

I told you he would.

We've got enough to buy a decent meal and good wine.

Huh? We're rich! Hey, you there.

Old man. I've got 50 to lose. I'll play you for it.

Right.

This should be good.


Go ahead, choose. Oh, sure, sir.

Let's see.

You see? It's not there.

Hold on. Hey, what the...

You think you're quick, huh? Listen, baldy, my eyes are quicker.

Lay off!

You're trying to cheat, huh?

Police! Police!

Hey, everybody run! Let's go!

You're a dishonest cheat and a dirty thief.

Give me back that money! Nah!

You must be joking. I ain't got no money, you meathead.

Don't you recognize who I am? Who cares who you are!

That's right. And I'll tell you who you're talking to.

Rat, the Iron-Headed Bullet.

Oh, wow. That's horrible.

Scared, are you?

Hey, baldy! You'd better get this straight.

You're gonna pay back that money. I don't care if you're a tiger!

I warn you, shitface.

I pick who I'm gonna bury next.

Say your prayers fast, 'cause you're about to feel my iron head!


Teacher, his head's much too hard. Don't give up now.

Let's see how you stop Iron Bullet!


Good. Very good.


You sure can jump.

Bet you'd never guess that that's how you'd end up... jumping into someone's pants.

Why, you...


Great! It works! Here, hard nut, try this!

Gong! You still feel like fighting, huh?

I missed!

Looks like your bullet's got carbuncles.

That's enough, please!

Sure.

Teacher, my wrists are killing me!

Get up!

Oh, my hands!

No more exercises. Go fetch some wine from the village.

Oh, sure. Okay, Teacher.

Waiter!

Some more wine in there. How much wine, sir?

Fill the bottle with three cups. That should be enough.

Red wine or white, sir?

White wine, you idiot! Be quick!

Sir?

Sure. Yeah.

Damn it!

Where's that stupid boy got to with my wine?

Where is he?

That's the fella.

Old man, where are you from? And who may you be?

Old man, have you ever heard of the name King of Bamboo?

Yes, of course I have.

I have no doubt Su Hua-Chi rings a little bell?

I and no other.

Let's get out of here. But hold it, Bamboo.

You don't believe that's Su Hua-Chi? Why not?

See there? His hands.

Su Hua-Chi wouldn't be shaking like that, would he?

You can see he's a fake.

Got it. You think you're being funny? But I ain't taken in so easy.

But I'm not lying to you. After all, I am Su Hua-Chi.

Well, let's see.


Teacher! Give me the wine!

It's water!

You idiot! Now see what you've done.

Teacher!


This way!


So, they were damn lucky.

Next time I see them, I shall take them apart.

Let's go.


That's bad. You must eat after a fight.

Teacher, you know I'm sorry. It was all because I spent the money.

Seems bad luck follows you around.

I have seen a lot of things in these past 70 years.

But till today, I can honestly say I've never been beaten in a fight.

It wasn't that Bamboo was better than you.

It's because you've got no strength without your wine.

You sure can talk.

Well, it's true. But if I wasn't so badly trained...

I could've beat that no-good jerk, even though he's bamboo king.

You mean to say you think I'm not teaching you right?

Is that it?

Well, it's all exercise. just falling all over the ground.

Boring wrist exercises. How could I win with that?

Don't you realize your father is... without question, a real good teacher?

Wong Chi-Ying's methods are some of the best there are.

So why do you think he asked me to teach you my style? just so you could torture me.

He wants you to train with me 'cause he knows I've got a secret style.

Tell me about it then. The Secret of my Eight Drunk Gods.

Oh, yeah? I suppose you'll probably teach... the Crawl of the Drunken Cat to me.

That shows your damned ignorance.

Dozens and dozens of men have pleaded with me to teach them.

Always refuse. So there.


Don't be fooled by my staggering around.

There's power inside to kill.

It looks real enough, yet it isn't.

The fact that you're pretending to lose lets you win.


So, clever, isn't it?

So why haven't you shown me yet?

You must know the importance of basics.

Without them, all your work is a waste of time.

Why do you think I've been pushing you?

There are basics that you need in order to master... the techniques of the Eight Drunken Gods.

I think you're ready for it. Is that right?

To study my style, you'll find it easier... if you have a drink first.

Come on, drink up.

Take another cup.

Now, Fei-Hung, did you go to school, boy?

Sure. It was awful. Real stupid professors.

Drink down the wine.

Cups should not rest! I'll sing you songs.

And it'll put your ears to the test, right?

Power and wealth are to no avail Let only our drinking prevail Boy, enough. Enough!

A sober man and the sages... are both lost through the ages.

But all our brave drinkers never shall die.

But all our brave drinkers never shall die.

Shingfung produces wine...

You know why soldiers are always so young?

Even the king couldn't stop my drinking!

Let's drink a toast to our ship that's sinking.

With uplifting cup, I say to the moon...

Why does my shadow appear to swoon?

Wine is ready in cup, you see.

Put down my cup.

The horses are "wazy."

Fallen in the fields of battle, the soldier says...

"Who will remember me?

Who will remember me?"

The god Lu. The drunkard with internal strength.


The god Li. A drunken cripple with a powerful right leg.


The god Fat Han. A drunkard holding a pot in his arms.


The god Lan. A drunk with a sudden deadly waist attack.


The god Chang. The drunk with the swift double kicks.


Drunken Tso, the god with the powerful throat lock.


The artful god Han. The drunken flute player with the powerful wrists.

The god Miss Ho. The drunken woman flaunting her body.

Come on, boy. This is serious.

This style's meant for women, isn't it?

Miss Ho is a woman, yes, but she's strong.

Watch me and follow.


Can you do it? Oh, yeah, it's real easy.

Put some energy in it. Yeah, okay!

This is sissy. I won't do it.

Mr. Wong, just why did you persuade the people of Bull Hill... not to sell me their property?

What was your reason for it?

Was it because of that business over your son?

That's a personal issue, and it will be settled in good time.

I'm not responsible. What is your game?

What is yours?

Mr. Li, I am most interested to know why you want to buy Bull Hill.

As you wish to know, I'll tell you.

That old graveyard up there, it's been haunting us for centuries... disturbing family spirits.

They'll get more than $20 per lot.

It's good money for that land.

Then you butt your nose in where it isn't wanted.

You mean you want to buy a graveyard. Huh? Huh?

Don't you believe me? There's a curse on the name of Lee... and it must be exorcised.

I've got three mistresses without children.

I'd be content with a chicken egg, but they can't produce that.

Or might you be becoming a little senile?

Yeah, you like to talk some, Mr. Li.

I don't find it amusing, I'm afraid.

And what's that supposed to mean? Just this.

You want Bull Hill, in order that you can have what's under the ground.

Huh? You must be mad! The coal.

Bull! You know very well that Bull Hill... has a rich coal seam downriver.

And that's a large interest you've got in Panco Company.

Yeah. That's why you want to buy... and I'm going to see that you don't!

There's a real big deposit there.

Now, Wong, let's cut you in on it.

As soon as the deal's over, I'll see that there is 20% in it for you.

Is that so? I'm highly flattered.

Kind of you, but I refuse.

In the first instance, it's not yours to give.

That land belongs to the people here. Now you can go!

Wong Chi-Ying, don't try to stop me.

I'll not be thwarted over this. There's ways and means!

I will pay you $ 1,000 for the death of Wong Chi-Ying.

Wong Chi-Ying's dead.

You got everything ready for the wedding feast?

Sure. Take a look around.

See that there's plenty of wine at table one.

Well, it's you again, Mr. Stick.

Big funeral, huh?

Are you a damn masochist... coming here, looking for more punishment?

Are you still itching?

Yeah, I'm itching, all right. My hands are restless.

Ah, good. I'll break another dish.

What's that, sir? Filleted boy on stick.

Go get my stick.

So you cook.

I'll try this.

Good. Real tasty.

Master.

Here's to you.


Here, bite this.

Wow! Your teeth are sharp. Bit right through the bowl.


Now what?

Be careful now, toothy. Take it easy.

I did tell you to take it easy.

Sit still there!

And upsy-daisy.

And that's called a Fart for the Stick King.

That's called Dog Eat Shit. Not quite.

No sooner said.


He's pissed.


Oh, boy, some good wine. The old man will like this.

Teacher, I got some wine for you. Some real good stuff.

A present from Mr. Stick.

Teacher!

Fei-Hung, one year has passed... and the time has come for us to take our separate paths.

I have taught you all the techniques and the magic of kung fu.

Practice diligently, master each technique... and remember the Eight Drunken Gods as the ultimate kung fu.

My home is the world. Try not to miss me.

Return home to your father now and be a good son.

Just remember, should you ever need me, I'll come to you.

Su Hua-Chi.

Teacher! Teacher!


More straight. Master Wong!

Master! What is it?

Li and all his man are digging up on Bull Hill! About 20 of them!

What? You saw them there? Yes, sir.

You, boy, tell my men I'm up on Bull Hill. Be quick!

Come on then!

Over this way. Down in the valley.


Your skill in kung fu is renowned.

I'd like to compliment you, Mr. Wong.

Who are you? I haven't met you before. Why do you want to kill me?

I'm Thunderleg. For money, I assassinate.

Today I have an opponent that's worthy.

I'd like to pay my respects to you.

I've heard of that cold-blooded assassin that everyone fears...

Thunderleg, who'd sell his brother for money.

You got it.

But killing me, you won't find that so easy.

Then I guess that you'll wish me success.


Hands Over Doorknobs, and Legs Break Down Doors.

You see, 30% hands, 70% legs.


Wong Chi-Ying, are you ready to meet your death yet?

Father, are you all right? Don't worry. I'm here, all right?

What are you here for? This match mine.

You'll see. I'm a master now.

Whoever insulted you pays with his life.

That I swear. I'll fight now.

It's you again.

I'm real glad you got here.

You can help bury your old man, shitface.

Master Wong, it was a real sad day for you the day you fathered that asshole.

You watch out, or you'll have a body with no ass!

Dumbhead, I suggest you go clean shit, or I'll have to bury you too.

I will die, bastard, but the worms'll grow fat on you!

So, I'm unlucky today.

Two will die for the price of one.

Up yours!

Hey, hold it! Hold it! Wait for me!

Wait! Teacher! How'd you get here?

Oh, now we'll really have fun.

Su Hua-Chi has to see this fight.

Su Hua-Chi, go!

Go away. This is not your business.

That's where you're wrong. It's my business, all right.

Sure is. Don't be afraid. I promise that I won't lift a finger.

That won't be necessary. You'll see.

He can do it. He'll outwit you every time.

Hey! Drink, boy!


Teacher, it's so strong. What is it?

One hundred percent proof.

I'm drunk.


I'm the drunk with inner strength.

Cripple Li!


The drunk with a strong right leg.

Rugged, strong leg, go!

A sudden attack to the waist! Come on! Show him Fat Han!

With a big pot in his arms, Fat Han's gone mad!

Okay. Not bad.

Patience.

You've not seen it all yet.

Artful Hong.

He's the flute player with the strongest wrist.


Out of tune.

Your flute is bent.

Now, throat lock. Powerful lock.

So lock it then.


Now your lock is broken.

The Devil's Shadowless Hand!

Very clever.

Drunken Chang!

Drunken Chang won't reach old age.

Your drunken gods, how many left?

Ho! Ho!

I forgot to do my practice! What?

I didn't follow with it.

Can't you teach me now? Use my style!


Oh, my. Fei-Hung!

She'll appear there without her shadow. just perform the actions. Watch close and you'll see one.

Try to combine all seven gods and try and see her as your own Miss Ho.

Ho? You are Miss Ho? Sure.

Damn!

This is called Widow See Her Lover Off.

That's called Fat, Old Woman On Toilet.

Old Woman Miss Toilet Seat.

Putting On Her Makeup.

Pretty Girl Looks In Her Glass.

These are the famous Eight Drunken Gods?

So you think that you're the only master here.

Let me tell you, my drunk gods don't mess around.

Nobody can fight like they do!


I must be getting addicted. Here's to Miss Ho!


He done it.