Duck Duck Goose (2018) Script

Whoo-hoo-hooo-hoo!

Hey, Larry! Hello, Peng.

Oh, sorry, Larry.

Whoo-hoo! Oh!

Later guys! That is a violation...

Whoo-hoo! Sorry, guys, I'm running late.

Whoo! Goose on the loose!

There will be geese to the right, left, up, and down.

Please check before you answer nature's call.

Or at least give a brother a honk.

Ugh, Jenkins! You should have gone before we left! Ugh!

As I was saying...

Peng, you're late. Again! That makes you a weak link.

I've got no use for a loose goose. Not in my flock.

Now, statistically speaking, you're not likely to die in the air.

This is a motivational speech?

No, uh, there's a thousand other ways you can get into trouble.

Get just one feather out of place... and you could be staring at your poop deck from the inside out.

That's why we train.

Train, train, train and train again.

Birds of a feather migrate together!

Birds of a feather migrate together!

Uh, question.

My friend here, Crazy Eye, wants to know, do we have to migrate in a V formation?

Excuse me? I mean. Couldn't we try another letter?

Yeah, like maybe a W!

Yeah. That's a capital, right? I'll go...

Peng, don't make me turn this V around.

Now, in answer to your question, over many generations the V formation has aerodynamically proven to be...

Oh! What about an A?

What... No.

Well, technically, that's just an inverted V, right, Bing?

You... We fly in a V. Birds of a feather migrate together!

Birds of a feather migrate together.

Now how about a hashtag?

I don't even know what that is. No! No, no, no, no, no!

It has to be a V! Now, birds of a feather migrate together!

I said, birds of a feather migrate together!

Where is everybody?

Follow me!

Whoo! Yeah!

This way! Ouch. Whoo!

Keep up slowpokes!

Oh, yeah, baby!

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo!

Now this is flying!

Mmm.

Ow!

Chao! Chao, stop.

I'm stuck.

Ah! Come on. Hurry.

Chi, if I don't eat something soon, I'm gonna die. To death!

Come on, bro, you ate like five minutes ago!

You know we're not supposed to leave the road.

Chao, come back here! Right now! Chao...

Oh, look at that! Breakfast! No! No caterpillars.

You'll be barfing up chunks if you eat that and you know it.

But I'm hungry, Chi!

You are always hungry.

There'll be plenty to eat once we get to Pleasant Valley.

Pleasant Valley, here we come!

Great work, guys. And remember, we've got to go before the snow comes.

Come on! I can feel the air getting colder.

Oh! What's going on? What the...

Hey, Jinjing! I hope I'm not holding you up?

Peng. Not today.

Hey, Peng. Oh, look at that wingspan.

What do you say me and you find some secluded spot to enjoy the harvest moon?

I made the moon for you, you know that?

You made the moon for me. Yeah, right.

We're leaving for the haven tonight!

Remember? Listen, my father would kill me if I...

Funny. I didn't know chickens could fly.

Are you calling me chicken?

Bock, bock, bock, bock... Bye!

Oh, you want to race?

It's on!

Hey, move it!

Wow. That's a goose.

On your left!

Move over!

Gotcha!

Hey, no fair!

Whoo!

Wait! Wait, I need another one!

I must be crazy. What is it about you?

Well, I'm good looking, and charming, and... Whoo!

I'm the best flyer in the flock.

Uh, best flyer in the flock, huh?

Whoa!

Hey, whoa! Look out!

Ow!

Oh!

Whoa!

Hey! Take it easy son.

I just had a new roof put on. Uh-oh...

Ow! Ow!

I told you, you were too heavy.

Me? Yes.

Me? Oh, I like that!

Who was it who gorged themselves on all those frogs this morning? Hmm?

How dare you!

Now you see what he's done. He's got us attacking each other.

Peng, your misguided landing made me lose a leg!

One of a pair. Do you see this? My leg has gone. Completely gone!

No, no wait.

Silly me.

Nonetheless, my colleague and I are here in our official capacity as representatives of The Lakes.

A family friendly community.

Yeah. So, what's the problem?

Yeah, so what's the problem?

Well, the problem? Oh, the problem!

Is that you are not family friendly.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Oh!

Come along, Giles.

Oh! Poo bombs!

Oh, no. I just had my feathers done this morning.

Peng, Dad's really mad and...

Your dad's always mad. How about another kiss? Come here. Mmm...

Oh!

Hi, Dad. How's it going, peaches?

Peng, what were you thinking? Ooh!

Ow, ow, ow, ow! He's sorry, Dad.

Ow. Sorry? Jeez! Relax. No one got hurt. It was just a little fun.

Fun, huh? Migration isn't about fun.

It's about covering your tail-feathers in case something comes up from behind.

Ow! Now that was fun.

Everybody. See that feather?

It's moving from the north to the south, just like the wind.

What does that tell you?

Winter's coming early.

Bing! Smart girl.

And in case some of us have forgotten, this is why we migrate.

To stay ahead of the snow, and to get to the thermal pools before we all wind up in the frozen aisle with our giblets in a bag stuffed up our communal hoo-ha.

Hoo-ha! It can be uncomfortable.

We fly at sunset!

I need all responsible flyers front and center.

You know who you are. This is not a drill.

Not you. I'm giving you one more chance to grow up.

Show you belong to this flock. Lead the junior flyers to the haven.

Hey Peng! Peng! Over here!

Are you kidding? Hey guys!

I can't fly with the kids.

They're childish. Not gonna do it!

Listen, Mr. Fun, maybe the juniors can teach you a thing or two about teamwork.

"Teamwork..."

Fly with the kids. Can you believe that? I mean, me?

They're so slow it'd be like flying backwards.

The best flyer in the flock wouldn't think twice about it.

Exactly. Even if I leave tomorrow, I would get there before you.

Yeah. That's because you're flying by yourself.

Anyone can do that. Sticking together, that's what's harder.

Yeah, I agree with you, but come on, I mean the juniors?

Honk if you need me, Peng. Otherwise, see ya when I see ya.

I buried treasure. It's in the...

Wait! Guys! Guys! Wait for us! Please...

Shh! Look!

Two little orphans, all alone in a big wide world.

So vulnerable, so sad, so delicious.

They're sitting ducks. Let's eat them now.

Patience, it'll be dark soon.

Peng, it's migration day. Why didn't you leave with the others?

I'll go tomorrow, Larry.

I can't wait to see their faces when I'm waiting for them at the waypoint.

Son, if you live your life like it's always a race, chances are you'll get exactly what you want.

See, that's what I'm saying.

What I meant was, you'll pass everyone by and wind up with yourself.

No one else.

All I know, Larry, is life is a race. And nobody wants to be a loser.

Hmm. Did I ever tell you about the turtle and the rabbit?

Well, now see, a cousin of mine, decided to race a jackrabbit.

Everyone told him, "You're crazy. A turtle ain't built for speed."

But he went ahead anyway and you know, the darnedest thing happened.

I'm just gonna spit-ball here, um, the turtle got to the finish line first?

Nope. Never saw him again.

Crazy varmint had no sense of direction.

That's a good one, Larry.

Peng. Whoa! Whee! I'm not a frog.

Sorry, Larry. You okay?

I'm all right. Feel fine! Cleared my sinuses.

"Wind up with yourself."

Like I'm gonna take advice from a talking rock.

Just to recap, flock, this is not a drill.

The chances of fatality at this point are exceptionally slim, only one in five of us are likely to die.

Excellent form recruits! Just like a V! Keep form! Keep the V!

All right flock, keep it loose! Fly like a goose!

I'm kidding. Keep the V. Sorry, I'm late, Dad.

JJ, honey, I was really worried about you for a second there.

Sorry, Dad. I really tried to talk some sense into Peng.

Sense? Into Peng?

It'd be easier to train a frog to fly.

No offense, Chauncey.


It's okay, little brother. I think it's gone.

Surprise!

Look out! Run!

Ducklings, party of two, your table's ready.

Sorry to disturb you. We're going now.

No, we're not! Our dinner's in there somewhere.

You're kidding right? Get lost!

If I could fly, I'd be having goose tonight!

Look out, Peng!

Oh! If it's goose you want.

Where... On your left!

Where are you? Other left, genius.

This isn't a fair fight!

Whoops!

I didn't hear a splash.

Hmm. There it is.

No! The water's everywhere!

I hate water!

Oh, I'll get you back for this, if it's the last thing I do!

Uh, must've been a catfish.

Wow!

I'm so not a cat person.

Ugh. Is that worm breath?

What the... What... What? What...

Ah, ducks? Ugh, what the...

Hey. Ow!

Ew! Ugh! Beat it, weirdos.

I must be shell-shocked. Are those your kids?

Yeah, sure, Larry. I'm their mom.

You're our mom?

What? No! Ahh! I knew it!

Oh, Mommy! I love you so much! Let go! No! No, no, no!

I always wanted a mom just like you! Chao, stop. Please, no!

Well, well, well...

Could you please just get back here?

Peng, I had no idea you were expecting. What?

Congratulations, Mother Goose!

Look at me! Do I look like a mommy?

I'm sorry, he hasn't imprinted yet, so he thinks that anyone with feathers could be our mom.

Imprinted? He's imprinting on my leg! Do you understand that that's disgusting?

Gross. Ew. This is... Ugh. I'm out of here.

Please wait! What?

Look, I'm Chi, and this is my little brother Chao... Yeah?

And we got separated from our flock and we really...

I'm not his mommy and I'm not your baby-sitter.

Baby? I am not a baby. Mommy!

For your information, I am sixteen days old.

Oh, sorry! I didn't know you were so ancient.

Ow. Seriously, stop that! My butt...

Stop. Hey, quit it. Ow! Stop. Hey! Chao, stop it, okay?

Please just get off of him.

Just wait.

You crashed into our flock, and that is child endangerment, which makes you responsible.

What? That's... Ow!

The only thing in danger around here is me getting plucked alive.

Look, can you help us or not?

I would say I'm an "or not." Absolutely not.

I want nothing to do with you and the baby piranha.

I got a flight to catch.

You are a dirty pile of jerk feathers.

"Jerk feathers?" That's an insult?

Wha... What the...

Would you just get off me, you looney!

Oh, no!

What a day.

Well, at least I know it can't get any worse.

What?

Ah!

Oh, all right. Okay, don't panic, Peng. Okay, it might not be that bad.

Okay, Peng. Here we go. Come on.

I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

You're not doing it!

Oh, no.

Oh, great.

Now, isn't this interesting.

Frazier, it seems the new mother is unable to fly.

Yes, indeed, Giles. I do believe she's a lame duck.

Uh... Goose actually.

What a terrible thing it is to be injured in the wild.

Oh, yes, it's deadly I understand.

Yes, a lone goose could be reduced to foie gras in mere moments.

Oh! That would be quite a show.

Yes. Yes, dinner and a show.

Wait, what? Uh, uh, guys, look...

Ow!

I know I may have been a little rough at times but...

We know what you're up to, Peng. Yes, we do. What is he up to?

You simply want us around so that you're not a sitting duck.

Goose. Goose! Goose!

Look, all I'm saying is that the three of us, if we were to walk to the haven together, that would be all right, right?

Walk? On these spindly legs? Have you gone absolutely mad, sir?

Not only is it dangerous to travel on foot, but quite frankly, we would look silly.

Guys, come on, you know what's gonna happen to me. Winters coming and...

Yes, and you'll be a dead duck.

Goose, actually! Goose! Goose!

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "If only I had a companion, some trusty friend to walk with me." Am I right?

Uh, thanks, but I... Hey, I know turtles don't migrate, but my mom said I'd never go anywhere unless I stuck my neck out.

Andalé amigo!

Okay, okay. Think, think, think, Peng. Think!

Wait a minute.

What I need is something that can throw the bad guys off my scent.

An insurance policy. That's...

Oh! Oh, oh! I don't need to be faster than a predator.

I need to be faster than a companion.

Or companions! My good buddies!

Champ? Chope? Hello? Chang and Chomp!

Where are those stupid ducks?

Oh, hey! There you guys are.

We totally got off on the wrong foot. I forgive you.

Come on. Let's go.

We don't talk to strangers.

What? Strangers? But, no, but it's me!

Me? Who's me?

It's me, Peng, the good-looking goose!

Mmm, nope! We don't know anyone by that name.

Yeah. Looks like we haven't been introduced.

Look. I'm the one you were calling...

Mommy.

Mommy!

All right! Okay! Great. Something doesn't smell right.

Maybe that's your brother.

Oh, what... No! Who treats their mother this way?

Why are you helping us all of a sudden?

Why?

Because I'm doing it from the bottom of my heart, okay?

Okay, fine, fine. If you don't want my help, you know, just off you go.

See if I care. You know, if you want to be eaten by monsters.

Chomp, chomp, says the monster.

Chi! He's doing it from the heart of his bottom.

That's right! That's just the kind of goose I am.

I've always gone around helping people. Trying to do the right thing.

You know, maybe help a couple of ducklings that are lost and they just want to find their way back to their flock and maybe put a little piece of the burden of the world on my shoulders.

Ooh! Mom. Can I ride on your shoulders?

Not a chance. Get off me. Ugh. Whew. Let's go.

Come on, let's pick up the pace!

Wait! Okay, would you wait up?

Just because you're helping us, does not make you the boss of us.

What? Yes, it... Yes, it does.

And since I'm the boss, you're gonna have to go by my rules.

Well, I'm just spit-balling here.

Uh, whatever I say, goes.

Goes where?

Okay, I... You know what, rule number two: No questions about rule number one.

Okay, Mom.

All right, rule number three:

Don't call me mommy, mom, mama, mama-mia, mother...

Anything that starts with "M." You got it?

Got it, jerk feathers. Any more rules? Yes!

We walk fast. There's no whining or complaining.

Eyes are front all the time. And most of all, never ever wander off.

Ugh, you are so stupid. No, you're stupid.

Stupid infinity. You're stupider.

Stupid sounding. Stupid, stupid. Well, you know what?

You're stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, multiplied by stupid.

Okay, that was stupid. Well, at least I'm not a duck.

What is that supposed to mean? You know what it... Where's Chao?

He wandered off. Are you kidding?

Oh, I'm making some really good time here!

What's that?

What the...

Oh!

Ah! It's a monster!

Hey, didn't you just die?

Yuck, that's disgusting!

I'm a cat, you idiot. I have nine lives.

Well, now you got eight.

Now then, down to business, where did the goose go?

Peng's my friend. I'll take that information to the grave!

Okay. Wha... Oh!

Uh, Peng hurt his wing, so he has to walk to the haven.

He can't fly?

The goose can't fly?

He's a dead duck.

Goose, actually.

Why, this means...

Stir the plum sauce, boys. We're having Peking Goose tonight.

Remember this meeting. I'm sure I will. I've got turtle recall.

"Turtle recall." That was a good one.

Why, thank you.

Don't mention it. Never mind. Mention what?

Oh, this isn't good. I have to warn Peng right away.

Time to kick it into overdrive.

What a show-off!

Jeez! You know, you didn't have to tie him up.

Listen, I have to catch up with my...

I mean, uh, we have to catch up with your flock.

And the little funny face wandering off all the time is slowing me... I mean us down.

See? Treat him with respect, he behaves with... What?

In case you have poor vision, his face is funny...

Come on! Let's go.

Okay, new plan.

New plan? I didn't know we had an old plan.

What?

We'll cut across country and join the road further down.

But we'll be going the wrong way.

We may be going the wrong way, but we'll be headed in the right direction.

What are you even saying? That makes no sense.

Look, I'm a migrating goose. I have excellent instincts.

So, from here on out, we're gonna travel as the crow flies.

But we can't fly!

No, no, no. I mean as the crow flies.

It's a way of saying... Look, it's just a saying, okay?

Hey, Mr. Shortcuts.

What is it now? What could possibly be wrong now?

Yeah. Rice paddies.

Okay, flocks, remember to fly straight and steady.

Fly into the cloud and not around it.

If you should get hit by lightning, the correct procedure is to fall out of the sky while gently smoking.

Hey, honey, you look like you've got something on your mind? What's going on?

Sorry, Dad, I'm just worried about Peng.

Ah, JJ, how can I reassure you?

Don't feel bad that you couldn't persuade him to come.

He'll hunker down and we'll see him next spring. For sure.

Yes. Yes. Good. You know what, you're right.

Of course, he'll be long dead by then.

What? Dead? Mummified skeleton probably, uh... but we'll see him is the point.

What?

If the foxes don't get to his bones first.

Did you just say foxes? What?

He'll be fine. He knows what he's doing.

You have no idea what you're doing, do you?

Come on. All right, where's your sense of fun?

It'll be a hop, skip, and a jump.

Fun! Yeah, right!

Wait! What are you doing? What are you...

No! Put me down. Put me down, right now!

Okay, as you wish.

No, no, no!

Wait? You're not coming?

No way, that thing looks dangerous.

Ahh!

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Watch out! Whoo!

I don't want to die!

Come on, you guys, not the eyes! I want to see where I'm going!

I don't want to see! I don't want to...

Whew. That wasn't that bad.

That was so much fun!

Fun? Hey, I know, let's do it again.

You just don't get it, do you?

Get what? Fun.

Fun? I'm fun. Okay?

I invented fun, all right? My middle name is fun.

Before you two came along, I was Mr. Fun. I'm fun!

You're gonna lecture me on fun? Two ducklings, sixteen days old?

What kind of ridiculous... Ow!

Now that was fun.

I'm so tired. Are we there yet?

It's raining.

You're ducks, you live in water.

Never mind.

Come on!

Whoa!

That was close. Huh?

What? Where... Look, guys, I'm tired.

My feet feel like lead and... What are you doing down there?

Oh, for Pete's sake, it's just a little thun...

Barn! Yep, I see a barn. There's a barn. Barn ahead.

Just gotta...

Oh, hi, uh, would it be okay if I...

I mean, these two orphan ducks stayed in your barn for tonight, couple hours? Thanks.

Absolutely not! This is for chickens, not waterfowl and...

Stanley, what's happening? Who's there?

Uh, nothing dear. Just dealing with it.

Just dealing with what?

Oh! You look exhausted! Do come in, little sweet peas.

Oh, Edna will take care of you. But my darling.

I really do think... Zip it, Stanley.

I lay the eggs around here.

Uh, um, hi. Yeah, um... Well, you know, I'm...

I'm with them. I'm their legal guardian so I have to...

Stanley!

Who am I kidding? I'm completely chicken-whipped.

Why not just roll me in bread crumbs and serve me for dinner?

Now, you should be comfortable. I put down fresh straw.

Good night, my dears. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Goodnight, little ones!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Go find your own bed.

Over there somewhere.

Ah! Piders! I hate piders.

Now you've done it!

They're delicious. Now go to sleep.

I'm... I'm scared.

Why don't you tell him a story? That usually works.

I... Stories? Why would I... You tell him one.

For goodness' sake, man! Just tell him something so we can all get some sleep! Stanley, stop fussing!

Will you go to sleep if I do this?

Okay, one story coming up.

Um, once upon a time there were, um, there were these...

Ducklings. Uh, two... Yeah, two little guys!

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Are we the ducklings?

I am not a guy.

That... That's not the...

It doesn't matter. One boy, one girl duckling were, um, they were lost.

In the... In the fog. They were lost in the thick murky fog, and it was so dense they couldn't see an inch in front of their faces.

We're never gonna find our way out of this.

We'll have to cross the river.

But that's not safe either, is it?

Well, it's better than this. Come on.

But, but...

But why do they need to cross the river?

To get to the other side? No. You know because, um, because...

Because if they don't, we'll never...

Never get to sleep. I know. Um...

I have a good mind to show them all who's...

Stanley! Ah, yes, darling.

So, they started out okay.

But I don't... I don't want to, Chi. I'm afraid.

Come on. It'll be okay.

But they must have been halfway across when there was a noise ahead.

A swishing, swirling noise, like nothing they'd ever heard before.

Gah-loop. Gah-loop. Gah-loop.

I don't like it. Let's go back.

Yeah.

Chi and Chao turned around, but the mist is even thicker.

There's no going back and they know it.

Then, the sound again. Gah-loop!

The swishing, gah-loop, on the still, black water is getting closer, gah-loop. And closer, gah-loop. And closer, until...

The terrible, pale, featureless thing, rose slowly up before them and...

You have, uh, zero parenting skills.

What? But you guys told me...

How was I supposed to know he was gonna be a baby about it?

Come here, you two. Come on. Come to Edna, my dears.

You are not my brand of bird.

Fine. I can't win.

I didn't even want to tell a story in the first place, stupid chickens.

Monsters. There's no such thing as monsters.

They're down there somewhere. Can't you feel it?

Yes, yes. The atmosphere is positively electric.

Did you have to say that? Ahh!

Monsters.

New plan. They'll be fine here.

Okay. Uh, not too bad. I should be able to fly.

Not now, Stanley. Not in front of the eggs.

Those are my nuggets.

No! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

What the...

Shh!

Will you quit it? Look, they'll be better off without me.

Liar!

Don't judge me! I'm doing the best I can here.

Liar!

They're slowing me down! It's not like I promised them anything.

Pants on fire!

That'll teach you.

Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar.

Oh! I'm out of here! Ow! That hurt.

Uh, what are you doing?

Oh, hi. Hey!

Uh, uh, I'm not doing anything. Just, um, you know, a little Tai Chi.

You know, limbering up, uh, you know, a little stretching.

You want to Tai Chi? Or Tai Chao? Yeah! Feels great!

Got a big day ahead of us, so, um, let's go. Let's get a move on.

What's for breakfast?

Come on, Chao.

I really hope he grows up soon.

But, the little duck is just tired my dear.

I was talking about the goose, Stanley.

Um, hello, Goosey McGooseface. My brother is really hungry.

So? He can eat when we get there.

You have no idea what you're in store for.

No. No. No. Leave me alone!

Holy moly! Jeez! What the heck is... Ow!

You didn't tell me about this. He's gone completely nuts.

What are we supposed to do?

Hey there, little fella, feeling better?

I must have food right now.

Okay. Not good. Not good at all. Hold on, little bro.

Food now!

Where the heck are you supposed to find...

What do you think?

No, no. I don't like it!

Better?

No! Uh, uh...

Here you go, kid.

No!

Whoa! Finally.

Ahh!

What is that? That's disgusting!

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. It's yucky!

I don't like it!

Here you go, buddy.

Whew!

Come on, Peng, let's go.

Now, chicken, tell me again, where did the goose go?

You have no right to...

Shush, my dear. You'll wake the baby.

What was his name again? Oh, yes, that's right...

I think his name is breakfast.

Breakfast? I'll give you breakfast you...

Put Andrew down right now!

Stanley! My hero!

Oh! Ooh! Ooh!

Which way did they go?

That way.

Can't you guys walk any faster?

Wait, where's Chao? He wandered off again, didn't he?

What's the matter with him now?

He thinks your gonna leave him behind. He's frightened.

Why would he think that? I mean that's crazy.

Look, you know what geese do when they need help?

Uh-uh. They honk.

All you have to do is take a lung full of air... then let it all out in one blast, like this.

Wow. You've got some mad skills.

Ah. Ah. Ah.

See, it's simple.

Shh!

Follow me.

Wait.

What do you think you're doing? Wait. Not in here.

Ow. Ouch.

Sorry. Sorry.

Someone help! He's stealing my bike! Give it back to me!

Whoops! My bad! Sorry!

Huh?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That wasn't that bad.

Stop it!

Whoa! Ow. Ow. Ah. Whoa! Look out!

Whoa!

Look out!

Whoa, that is not a good look!

Ow!

Yuck!

Whoa!

No, no, no, no.

That was close.

Ew.

Gross!

Whoa.

Oh, no!

I didn't sign up for this!

What? What happened?

Oh, meow.

Great.

Uh-oh. Not again.

It's not funny. I mean... Okay, it's pretty funny.

Oh, great. Now what?

What? That's just a wall, we just walk around it. I mean, how long can it be?

Yeah, about that...

Are you asleep?

Are you asleep?

Is he okay?

Hmm, I don't know. Sounds like he's gonna lay an egg or something.

Who would do that? What...

Chao, stop that! There might be spiders in there.

Piders? I don't see any piders.

Shh.

I can't wait to fly again.

What's it like?

What, flying? Well, I mean, when you're up there, it's just you and the clouds.

There's nothing like it. It is complete freedom.

And no-one's got their feathers in my beak holes.

What?

I hope I get to fly someday.

Of course you will. Why wouldn't you?

Well, everyone said we wouldn't need to in Pleasant Valley.

Wha... Pleasant Valley?

Well, yeah, that's where we were going until someone ran into us.

They say it's a peaceful place where only the best ducks go.

Ow. Ow, ow! I hurt my head.

Anybody there? Hello! Well, Chi, I don't know how peaceful it's going to be with Chao around.

Hey, you must have lots of brothers and sisters?

Nope. They all got taken. I was the last egg.

Oh. Well, I'm sorry. That's terrible.

Well, I was too young to know.

Besides, the whole flock is really my family and...

What? Nah, nothing.

I was just realizing what a jerk I was to my flock, especially Jinjing.

My girlfriend Jinjing. I kind of messed things up.

Well, did you apologize?

No, I didn't apologize! Of course not.

Why not?

Because you never apologize! Apologizing is a sign of weakness.

Well that's just dumb.

Plus, if I did she'd... she'd...

Be your girlfriend again? That's a good point.

Yeah, you're pretty smart. But you know, you don't know everything.

Like? You don't know how to fly. Come on.

Oh, Peng, no. Really, I'm good. I don't want to.

Be quiet and reach out your wings! No. No.

Come on. It'll be a hop, skip and a jump.

Here we go. Come on. Flap. Flap. Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

Good, good, good. That's good. Great.

Okay, nice. Oh! Oh, my gosh! You're getting it. That's it. You got it.

Chi, you're a natural. I'm flying. I'm really flying, Peng!

Crap. Oh. Oh, no. Ah!

Whoo!

No, no, no! Hey! No! Chao!

Whoa!

Help me, Chi!

I'm really flying!

Ow. Chi, how'd you get up there?

Whoo!

Whoa!

Whoa! Oh, no!

This is crazy! Get out!

I can't believe this. We're flying? We're literately flying! We're doing it!

This is so cool! Uh-oh.

Look out!

I'm okay. I'm all right! Luckily I landed on something soft.

Yeah, us, you nincompoop!

You've got a big butt.

I do not have a big butt.

I just... I have very thin legs.

Anyway, come on. Let's go.

I know this is all fun and games but the leaves mean that winter is coming, so we got to go!

And winter means snow and snow is not our friend...

Whoa. Brr. All right, that's it. All right, the games over.

All right, I'm gonna count to three and if you're not up here...

Well, you don't even want to know.

One. I said one. Two. All right, three!

You little piranhas!

Ha-ha, gotcha! Looks like you messed with the... Uh, Chi?

Yeah? Where's Chao?

Ugh, he wandered off. Again.

Outstanding work flock. We made it to the waypoint with no losses.

Except for Peng that is. But, uh, we're not giving up yet.

Birds of a feather migrate together!

Birds of a feather migrate together.

Never give up! Peng's never coming back, Jinjing.

What? He, uh... he never deserved you.

Dad, we've talked about this before.

If I may, young lady, uh, you need a gander who's strong, accompanied by an infallible intellect, and a side order of humility.

But a big, big side order. Someone like, well, someone like your dad.

He is like you, Dad. That's what I've been trying to tell you!

He's handsome. Handsome.

He's strong. Mm-hmm.

Sure he's reckless and a bit of a show-off. Well...

But deep down underneath that narcissistic, annoying exterior...

Uh, wait, wait. "Narcissistic"?

I don't know why I like Peng, Dad. It's weird...

Ah, the heart wants...

What the heart wants.

It's as clear as the beak on my face.

No daughter of mine is saddling up with that sad excuse for a gander.

You just try and stop me, Daddy.

Oh, awkward.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Ladies?

Uh, you don't think he's...

Yeah.

For reals? Totally.

Nah. Really?

Chao!

He's not in there. See?

He's got more sense than to go into some creepy, dark, scary cave.

This is so cool!

Oh, shoot.

Okay, we got to go get him.

Hold up. Let me present something to you.

How much do you like your brother?

A lot! Okay, I like him a lot.

But what you have to understand is this is a sub-underground, um, enviro.

I'm used to being above it all.

Uh, that didn't come out right. Mm-hmm.

All right. Fine. We'll go in and get the little stinker.

No, no, no, no. It's just we're underground.

It's dark. It's smelly. Great. We're gonna die.

Chao!

Chi...

He's this way.

Not so fast! Wait for me.

Whoa, whoa. I have goosebumps on my goosebumps and I'm a goose for Pete's sake!

Fine, fine. I'm fine. Nothing to worry about.

Are you sure?

Yep. Ah! What was that? Something just touched me!

What is it? I don't know.

It's slimy, and smelly, and...

Oh, it's just Chao.

Guys! You've got to come see this!

Will you be my buddy?

Wait for me. Ah!

Mommy.

Ow.

Wow.

Whoa. It's like... It's like stars.

I think they're glowworms.

Glowworms? How did... Well, how do they glow like that?

Well, it's actually two chemicals reacting in their bellies.

Why would you know that?

Gross! I got to go swim or something.

Spicy!

Chao, look! Oh, it looks like us!

Gotcha!

Oh, Peng, my friend and I would like to have a word with you.

Hey, I remember them!

Blah, blah, blah. Goose actually.

I'm a turtle who sounds like I have a frog stuck in my throat.

Ribbit.

Wow, that's pretty cool, Chi.

I'm not doing that one.

Huh? Way to go Chao.

That's not me.

Well, if you didn't do it, and he's not doing it, and I'm definitely not...

All my favorites in one place.

Duck, duck, goose.

Guys run!

Where'd you guys go?

Peng? Where are you guys? Ow!

Chi? Where are you? Chao, where are you? Peng?

You're dead, goose! You hear me? Dead!

Peng! Peng, we need to go.

The cat. He's gonna get us. He's after us.

Ducklings come out to play.

All right. Which way is out of here?

Owie!

What are you doing?

You'll see.

This way. Come on. Hurry!

Oh, little ducklings. Come out, come out, wherever you are.

This way. Come on. Hurry! That's the way out.

You can't duck me forever.

Come on, up you go. There. I'm right here.

Keep going, fast as you can.

I can't do it. Yes, you can! Keep going.

Ready or not...

Come on! Come on! We're coming!

Hurry!

Oh! Guys, I have a bad feeling about this.

Whoa!

That was it?

Phew! I thought it was gonna be big...

This is so cool!

Peng!

I'm dizzy. This is so cool!

Chi! Peng! Come here and swim a bit. I need to lie down.

I feel sick.

I don't know what to feel. Chi, look at me!

Cannonball!

Am I crazy or is your brother indestructible?

Check this out.

Using air currents, that was pretty genius.

Yeah, well, uh, that's a little thing I invented.

I tried to show my flock, but they weren't ready for it yet.

It's the road! It... It's the road! You've found the road!

You did it, Peng! You... You really did it!

Whoo! Yes! We're going home.

All right!

Wow, well, how about that? I told you I'd get you here, right?

Yeah!

You know, I always trust my instincts.

Now, all we got to do is cross the river, hit the road, and I'm sure we'll catch up with your flock.

Chi, is Pleasant Valley really home? What?

I don't know if I want to go back to the others now.

Chao, you can't be serious.

Well, we are kind of a family, aren't we?

You've imprinted, haven't you?

I didn't mean to.

My flock! Guys, guys, guys, wait! Wait for me!

It's me, it's me! Please wait!

All right, flock, time to wander into the deep blue yonder.

Where's he going?

Peng, Peng! Where you going?

No, no, no, please wait!

What's up with Peng?

I don't know. Uh... Peng. What is it? What's going on? What's wrong?

What's... What's wrong? Didn't you see?

That was my flock. I could have caught up with them!

But at every turn, you guys slow me down.

How am I gonna get to the haven now? I should've left you with the pigs.

You were going to leave us?

He was gonna leave us whenever it suited him, Chao.

I got you to your road, okay!

This whole time you weren't helping us. You were using us.

Yes... No, not... At the beginning, I...

I found your road okay? Look, I gotta go.

You know what, Peng, your instincts stink!

Come on, Chao.

Don't go, Mom. Please?

I said come on, Chao. Forget him.


Guys! Guys, wait.

Wait! No!

Oh, no! Come back, you guys!

Ahh!

Somebody help! Please come back!

Jinjing?

Incoming!

Ahh!

Ta-da!

Another perfect landing, man.

Wait? Are you a squirrel?

Hey, you know what, I'm not really into labels, per se.

I find them limiting. Like, I wouldn't call you a badger.

Well, that's because I'm not a badger.

Yeah, so you see what I'm talking about. Right on.

Hey, I'm Carl. Bring it in, brah.

Ow. Hey, wait a second.

Yes! Definitely picking up on a negative aura around this general wing area.

Yeah, it's called pain. I've injured my wing.

Dude! This is your lucky, lucky day.

Lucky for you I am artful in the ways of healing. Qigong, man.

"Qi" what? Is that "goodbye" in squirrel or...

Hey, you don't have any cookies, do you?

Cookies? No. Uh, uh... Go back to the... Did you say you could fix my wing?

Why? What happened to your wing?

Oh! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Right. Your wing. Totally, yes!

Brace yourself, because this is a four-step process.

First, is stimulation.

Stimulation? Ow! Ooh!

Followed by manipulation.

Like this! What? Wait! Ouch!

Then, a simple case of aggravation.

And finally, the pièce de résistance, incapacitation.

Goodnight, badger.

We're never gonna find our way through this.

What are we gonna do?

I guess we're just gonna have to cross the river.

What is it?

This is just like Peng's story.

Yeah, well, he's good at making things up.

No, Chi, really.

Come on, okay? There's no such thing as...

Monsters. It's just a turtle, right? It's got to be.

I don't like it. Let's go back.

Yeah.

Chao, which way is back? Um...

Look, Chi! It looks like... It is! I can see the other side!

Um, Chi...

Badger! You're awake.

What have you done? Why?

Duh! I'm healing your wing, brah.

That's the wrong wing.

Ah. Uno momentito, duder.

All right. Wait... Did you hear a sheep?

What? No. Neither did I.

What are you doing? Ow!

Whoa, easy there big guy! Ow!

Hey, hey. You got to chill your sticks, badger. Sit down!

Are you sure this is gonna work?

Ah, no problemo, man. I'm a healer.

It's what I do. It's worked on all of my buddies.

Your buddies? Oh, so you're... you're not the only squirrel up here then?

Squirrels? Oh, man! Squirrels?

Man. Oh, these... Oh, these aren't squirrels. Are you crazy?

Squirrels.

Yeah, there used to be a whole bunch of us, flying around, having fun.

But then they left.

Oh, really? I wonder why.

Oh, you know, they met girls, started families.

Can you believe they did that to me?

Surprising.

I said to my friend Rocky, I was like, "Hey, Rocky, yeah, great for you and the moose, but now what am I gonna do on Tuesday nights, huh?"

Can't imagine why they'd leave.

That's what I said!

Well, now they're all miserable with their kids.

They are?

Well, you know... I mean, they say they're happy, but come on.

All kids do is eat, poop and complain. Right?

Yeah, you got that right.

Ugh, that burns me nose hairs.

Ah! What the... This is nuts, I got to get... It's...

Forget the kids. I gotta get to the haven.

What? Hold the mayo, man!

You live in the Spa? Oh! Hey, you think you can get me in?

Uh, you? Well, I can... I... You know, why not? All right, fine.

Yeah, man, that's awesome.

You know the winters up here can be so gnarly. Like last year, my nuts froze.

Huh? Wait. What kids?

All right, it's okay! We're fine. Everything's fine.


Carl, I don't get this. How is hanging from a branch supposed to heal me?

Dude, just reach out your arms like they're wings and...

What do you mean "like wings," they are wings.

Oh, pretend you haven't got any, then pretend you do.

Then let go of the branch.

Let go? Carl, I can't fly. Remember? My wing is totally messed up.

Dude, flying is all about taking the leap.

I know what flying is, Carl.

It's the falling I'm worried about.

No, it's the hitting the ground I'm worried about.

Slow your roll, Mr. Worry Nuts.

What could go wrong? You're tied to that rope.

Dude, it's all mental. Except for the physical part.

Okay, Peng, you can do this.

Here we go. One... Two...

Three!

Whoo-hoo! Leap of faith, man!

Oh! Bummer.

Whoo-hoo! This is awesome.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.

Whoa! You're flying like a badger, badger.

Whoo! I'm flying, Carl! I'm flying.

Oh! Oh my gosh, I'm flying! I'm really flying, Peng.

This is so cool!

Hey! That's the wrong way, man!

Yes, but I'm headed in the right direction.

Chao! Hey, Chao, Chao, Chao! Quick. Come and see!

Go, go, go. Good boys.

It's so good to see you guys! We got separated...


Wow!

Come along. Go, go.

Go, go, go. This way, this way.

Does this seem right to you?

Come on. It's got to be the way to Pleasant Valley.

Uh, I don't think so.

Go, go, go.

Oh, no!

Whoa!

This wouldn't have happened if we'd just stayed with Peng.

You've got to be kidding me! He didn't care about us.

Yes, he did!

He was great and he was funny and he took care of us.

He wouldn't have gone away if you hadn't been so mean.

Mean? I was trying to protect you.

And I wouldn't have had to if you weren't such a big baby!

You think you're looking after me, but you're not!

Pleasant Valley isn't even real, and you're not my mom.

Well, maybe I'm not, but right now I'm all you've got.

No! No, no, no. Let them go!


Huh? No.

Chi. Yeah?

I'm so sorry.

Here's your duck.

Normally, I won't come to a restaurant like this.

Oh! Ow!

Disgusting!

What?

Ahh!

That hurt.

It's Peng!

Shh. Come on, let's go. Go on! Quick! Now! Here. Come on.

Quick! Find a place to hide!

Hmm?


Come on, hurry!

Zhao, what's going on?

Sir, your goose, medium rare. Hope you enjoy it!

With the medium rare feathers?

What? A cooked duck that runs away?

Hurry! Just go! Go!

Get off! Get off! Get out of here!

I'll catch up! Go on!

Ow!

Peng!

Chi! Go! Go as fast as you can!

Damn goose!

Whoa! Oh, poop.

Wait! Will you help us?

This way!

Come on. Hurry, hurry!

My restaurant! You! Oh, no!

My restaurant! I'll kill you, I kill you!

No!

Guys! Chao! Chi! Where'd you go?

We're here! Peng!

Whoa!

Oh, no!

Hey! Chi! Guys, over here!

Slow down! Wait! Don't go that way!

Whoa!

Come on, over here.

Hey! You guys.

No, no, no! Don't. Don't!

Chi! Chao!

Kids!

Get off of us!

Let me go.

Lost something, goose?

You know, I've really enjoyed the hunt.

But I much prefer the torture, the dismemberment, and the gamey aftertaste.

Ew!

Kids, go! Run!

Ow!

Quickly! Come on, run! Come on. Quickly. Let's go.

No! Ah! Ow!

Kill him.

No! Leave him alone!

Let him go!

Kids forget about me! Just go! Now!

Don't worry. I'll look after the family, once you've gone. Say goodbye, Daddy.

Peng!

Call me Mommy.

You're coming with me!

No!

No, Peng! Peng!

Come back. No!

No! Leave him alone!


This is crazy. What... Just... Why can't you leave us alone?

Birds are so arrogant.

Always flying away at the first sign of danger.

But nobody's flying anywhere tonight.

You're going to go out with a whimper.

No. You're going out with a bang.

No. No, no, no...

No!

Are you okay, Mom?

I thought I'd lost you. Come here. Come here. Oh, my...

I thought I'd lost you.

Oh, great guys, it's, uh... the snow.

We got to go.

Where? Where are we going?

Home. You're coming home with me.

Keep up, guys. We're doing it.

We'll just keep going, right?

Just follow my path. We can do this.

Oh. Peng!

Up you go. There. Okay, hold on tight.


Whoa!

Are you okay? Yeah Wow, look! Chi, what is that?

The haven!

Why is it so misty?

Well, that's because they're hot pools, right, Peng?

Peng?

Peng!

Peng, no!

No!

Listen, kids. You're gonna have to go on without me.

No! No.

But you're not coming with us?

Not this time, buddy.

But you have to, otherwise, what was all of this about?

No!

It was about getting you to a family and that's just right over the ridge.

No! No! Don't you get it, okay? You're our family.

Yes! Yes, I am.

And now I'm telling you, you gotta get to safety, okay?

Because that's what mommies do.

You can do it, guys. It's just a hop, skip, and a jump.

Yeah, well, we're sticking together. Because that's what families do.

Faster, little brother! You got to push, okay? Push! Push!

What? But... Oh, no!

Whoa!


I can't do it, Chi. He's so heavy. And my wings hurt and...

Chao, honk! Peng told us to honk if we need help!

You can do it, Chao! Use your honk!

Honk like crazy! You got to honk louder! You can do it!

It's not working!

Watch out!

Stabilizing. We have contact.

Jinjing.

Am I holding you up?

Yeah! Yes! Yes! Whoo!

Hey, you two. Great job, you guys.

Oh, I say, Frazier! Duck!

Two ducks!

Ahh!

Again! Duck!

Gooses actually!

Yeah, you missed us! You missed us!

Whoa! Look out below!

Oh, no!

Oh!

Ow. It hurts. It hurts. Ow!

Ooh, sorry. Okay.

Um, let's see.

Oh, no! Okay, look where doesn't it hurt? Maybe here?

Still hurts, but...

How about here?

It's good. You know, continue.

And what about here?

Oh, hi, Dad. Sir.

So, uh, you made it back, eh?

Didn't fly into a cliff or anything.

I got to be honest, I'm surprised.

Good to have you back! Ouch!

Birds of a feather migrate together. Right, Daddy?

Ow! Ah.

Ooh. Look at the time. I got to go prepare for, um, spring migration.

I'll see you, folks. Birds of a feather migrate together!

Birds of a feather migrate together!

Jinjing, I don't want to fly solo anymore.

I'm sorry for, you know, everything and...

Oh, shush. Come here.

Ow, that hurts. I mean, you know what, it doesn't even hurt.

Ooh, Mom, are you gonna...

Kids. What are you gonna do?

What happened to you out there?

Uh...

Jinjing, these are my kids. Chip and Chomp.

Chope and Chang.

Chip and Choop. Chope and Chop.

Chomp and Choo Choo.

Choop and Change. Chope and Chang.

It's actually Chi and Chao.

And I want them to be part of our flock. What do you say?

How about part of our family?

Yes! Whoop, whoop.

This is so cool!

Wait! You think two's gonna be enough?

What... Two. Two actually... I mean, I think it's more than...

You know, I, uh... Two? We should wait for spring, right?

I mean, that's, you know, what everyone does.

Not that I care what other people do, you know what I mean?

I just want you to be happy, but you know, it's like if we had two...

We don't even have a nest, right?

I mean, you know, two plus... Can I just take a nap?


I made it.

Peng? Hello, Peng?

Where did everyone go?