Duets (2000) Script

Whoo!

Oww!

♪ I'd fall down on my knees ♪

♪ Kiss the ground that you walk on, baby ♪

♪ If I could just hold you ♪ Whoo!

♪ Again ♪

♪ Whoa, yeah ♪

♪ If I could just hold you ♪♪ Baby, you can hold me!

If I could just hold you again, baby.

Thank you!

All right, Tulsa, Ronny Jackson!

Let's take a short break, and then I'll be right back with our next singer.

Yeah!

Way to go, Ronny.

Looks like you're on your way to Omaha.

I didn't give it a second thought.

How about a beer, Earl?

Your usual?

Please.

Glass of Chardonnay for Beth.

What, I say something funny?

No. I mean, sort of.

You people do this every night?

You people?

What do they call it anyway, karate-okee?

No. That's karaoke. It's a way of life.

Some life.

Can I have another seven-and-seven?

You bet it is.

Talent like Ronny's brings in about a thousand bucks a month, mister.

And that's on top of what I make at the meat plant.

For amateur singing.

Nothing amateur about it.

A hundred bucks up tonight, and winning automatically qualifies for the grand prize over in Omaha.

And you, mister, are looking at the winner.

Hey, from what I've seen tonight, I don't see how you can lose.

Maybe you'd like to pass through our little contest here, huh?

I don't have the right costume.

You don't have the voice.

I beg your pardon.

I'll have you know I was in the choir all three years of high school.

So sing.

For a hundred bucks?

You gotta be kidding. It's not even worth it.

Really?

Well, why don't I sweeten the pot a little bit?

How much you got in your pockets?

All right. What the hell. Might be fun.

Let's see. . .

Six hundred and ninety bucks.

Okay.

You're covered.

So what are you gonna sing?

Hell, I don't know. Whatcha got?

Show him the menu.

Joe Cocker.

All right. You be the bank.

Oh, come on, guys.

Earl, just hold the money. Got it?

All right? Got it?

All right. All right.

♪ Seems I got to have a change of scene ♪

♪ Every night I have ♪

♪ Strangest dream ♪ He's good!

♪ Imprisoned by the way ♪

♪ It could have been ♪

♪ Left here on my own or so it seems ♪

♪ I got to leave before I start to scream ♪

♪ Oh, someone locked the door ♪

♪ And took the key ♪

♪ Hey, feelin' alright ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I'm not feelin' too good myself ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Yes, sir ♪

♪ Feelin' alright ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I'm not feelin' too good myself, no ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Boy, you sure took me ♪

♪ For one big ride ♪

♪ Even now I sit and I wonder why ♪

♪ That when I think of you I start myself to cry ♪

♪ Can't just waste my time ♪

♪ I must get by ♪

♪ Gotta stop believin' in all your lies ♪

♪ Oh, there's too much to do before I die, hey ♪

♪ Feelin' alright ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ I'm not feelin' too good myself, no ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪

♪ Yes, sir ♪

♪ Feelin' alright Uh ho ♪ Whoo!

♪ I'm feelin' alright ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪♪

Hello.

Yeah, this is Ricky Dean.

What? Oh, shit.

Honey, you okay?

When? Oh, shit.

Uh, where?

Um, I don't know.

No, no, I understand. It's just that--

No, no, no. I understand.

Hang on a second. Where am I?

Tulsa.

They got a direct flight to Vegas?

Oh, yeah, sure. They got a regular shuttle.

Uh, I can't make it 'til tomorrow night.

All right.

What happened?

Nothing.

Somebody died.

Of course, not as cold across Texas in comparison to parts of Montana.

It's all relative, though.

Keep that in mind if you're traveling anywhere from Aspen over to, uh, the Denver-Fort Collins area.

Winter weather. Blowing snow also.

You could have very light snow with an overcast sky, the wind starts blowing around even when it's light.

That means very poor visibility. Be prepared for that.

It's gonna be a cold night.

I'm sorry, everybody. My plane was delayed.

We re-routed to Atlanta.

I'm very sorry.

That's why they invented airport hotels.

Right, guys?

Correct. Right.

Coffee? Yes, thank you very much.

That'd be great.

I've been on the go since Monday.

I'm telling you, I hardly had time to eat the peanuts on the airplane.

Okay. I know I've held you guys up, and I've got another flight at 11:00, so I'll cut right to the chase.

Our development guys love the growth rate in this area.

And the marketing people are incredibly pumped about labor costs, real estate, all the potential spin-offs into the ancillary service areas.

Is that mine? You betcha.

Why, thank you.

So, we would like to bring some of our folks down here to look at possible construction sites, talk about labor costs, the work pool.

Now we're gonna need your help with environmental groups, local zoning boards, state-level lobby types, et cetera.

Something wrong?

No. It's just, uh-- l-I'm not sure what you're talking about.

The park. The theme park.

Uh, Pilgrim Village, U.S.A.

This is the Poultry Retailers Association meeting.

Oh, gosh.

Uh, well, then I must be in the wrong room.

Wow. I'm very sorry, guys. I was just in such a hurry.

Hey, shit happens.

Yeah, yeah. Anyway.

Thank you.

Thanks for the coffee. Thanks.

Does anybody know where the Everglades conference suite is?

Everglades? This is Houston.

Oh, God.

I thought I was in Orlando.

Hi. You called a cab?

Why do we always get you?

Um, I don't know.

I'll tell you why.

'Cause nobody else will take these jobs.

Released criminals are not notorious for heavy tipping, are they?

Ten bucks, flat rate.

What do you keep lookin' at, kid?

Nothing. I wasn't looking at anything.

Don't give me, Nothing.

I know who you are, and you know me.

You're Miss Gahagan, aren't you?

Right.

Miss Gahagan, your wonderful, caring, nurturing third grade teacher of the Chatsworth Avenue School.

Look at me, kid. You're Billy Hannon, right?

Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, I am.

I remember you.

You were one of my biggest underachievers.

How come you're driving a cab?

Actually, this is my own cab. I own it.

Well, I own half.

You own half a cab? Wow.

Yes.

I'll bet Donald Trump is lookin' over his shoulder.

You're just bustin' to know what I was cracked for.

No, I really-- No, I really don't.

Shoplifting.

They caught me at the Grand Union with a pound of smoked turkey and two pairs of pantyhose in my crotch.

The bird had one of those, uh-- Goddamn. What do they call it?

Metal things in it. Set off the detector.

Detectors in food stores. What a society.

And I don't even want to think of the number of infants who swallowed those things and are choking to death on them.

What a world.

Eat a bite of turkey, you go straight to hell.

Right.

Yeah, I guess it's hard to make ends meet in the retirement sector.

Oh, I do okay.

I just steal stuff to fuck with people.

You ever steal anything, Billy?

No, ma'am, I wouldn't do that.

No, no, of course. You're a basic underachiever.

As always, too scared of getting caught and judged.

You were more, uh, the mystical sort.

You were going to be a priest, if I recall.

Didn't you graduate from Loyola?

No, no. It just, uh--

It just wasn't my destiny.

Destiny?

What a crock of shit!

Miss Gahagan, why don't you take this?

You need this more than I do.

And listen to me for a second, okay?

I am not an underachiever. I'm not.

I am just trying to achieve something different than most people I know.

Oh, and what is that?

Harmony.

You're a riot, Billy.

You're kind of pathetic, but you're a riot.

Let me give you some advice, Father.

The world is a sewer, and we're all livin' in hell.

The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you'll be able to get on with your life.

So long.

It's not often we can show you tape of a police chase that goes through two countries.

Our Cindy LaVargas has it.

Hey! Hey. Billy.

What are you-- What are you doing here?

I took off early.

There's a lecture on Zen Buddhism tonight at the Y.

Man, the saddest thing happened to me today.

I got a call to go to the police station--

Are you watching this?

'Cause I can hardly hear with this thing.

Yeah, um--

Billy, um, um--

Ooh.

God, I'm so--

Billy.

I'm so sorry.

I don't--I don't even know how it happened.

I just, um--

Billy?

I don't--

Oh!

Ralph?

Christ. Billy.

Oh, God.

Billy, please. Don't get crazy.

My own partner!

Billy, no, please! Don't go!

Hello.

Hey, Julie. Sweetheart?

Hey, Carson. I'm home, son.

Missed ya.


Thought I was in Florida, and I was in Texas.

Uh, can you imagine that?

Now I come home and my own kids can't even say hello to me.

Jeez, wouldn't it be nice if once when I come home, someone says hello to me?

Sure.

But just because you come home, you can't expect everyone to just drop what they're doing and give you their undivided attention.

Well--

You know what I did for the last 18 months, Candy?

Hmm?

I racked up over 200,000 frequent flier miles, jamming a bogus Pirates of the Caribbean village down some zoning board's throat in Shell Island, South Carolina.

Took one of the last remaining pristine beaches on the eastern seaboard, and I turned it into Toonville with fast food.

Not to mention the turtles.

Turtles?

Yeah.

Goddamn Shell Island sea turtles.

Oldest living amphibians in North America.

But now extinct.

Pffft!

Thanks to me. Why?

Because we needed their breeding grounds for a water slide.

But didn't you want their breeding ground?

Yes.

No.

Honey, could you-- I'm on-line here.

Okay?

Where you going?

Sorry, Candy, but I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes.

But you don't smoke!


What are you doing?

Just trying to fix her hair. It's sort of stiff.

They've got her dipped in hair spray.

Hear that? Poor Donna.

You knew her well? Real well.

Did you? Not really.

I guess not. I would've heard about you.

You live here in Vegas?

Mm-hmm.

Let me guess. Keno girl?

Hey, buddy, I worked right alongside Donna here at the front line of the Dunes.

I'm about as close as you get to an aristocrat in this town.

You okay?

Grieving.

Yeah, I can smell it on your breath.

You must have really loved her.

Yeah.

I didn't want her to get an aneurysm.

She's the only friend I've ever had.

Me too, I guess.

That was a long time ago.

Could you just, like, hold onto me for a little while?

Oh, Donna would've been so happy to see you two like this.

Hi, Grandma.

I don't want to interrupt if you two are bonding.

Do you know him?

Why, of course I know him. He's your father.

Where does your mother keep the mayonnaise, dear?

She didn't believe in mayonnaise.

She didn't believe in mayonnaise?

She didn't believe in food that required electricity.

Oh, look, see? There I am in third grade.

That was my birthday party.

And you sent me this, remember?

Uh, yeah, uh, I think so. I'm still wearing it.

You know, I don't understand what mayonnaise has to do with electricity.

Well, you've got to refrigerate it.

See, they cut off our power so many times over the years that she just went with the pure preservatives.

Hey, look under the microwave, in that drawer.

There's a bunch of packs of shit from Burger King and stuff.

You got it for me in Springfield, Missouri, and you sent it from the airport in St. Louis.

See? Look.

It's got a B-E over F-R-I .

Yeah, I see that.

Do you still have the other half?

Oh, I don't know. You know, maybe somewhere.

Well, that's okay.

It always just kind of gave me hope.

It's kind of what passes for a tradition in our family.

It was the last year you sent a present.

Well, I prefer mayonnaise, but at least this is Paul Newman's Own.

I just love Paul Newman, don't you?

I must've rented Sweet Bird of Youth a hundred times.

So, where are you living now, Ricky?

Um, nowhere.

I mean, you know, I travel pretty much all the time.

The gypsy life. I love it.

I lived it myself when I was a chorus girl.

But when Mr. Sinatra got me my job at the Dunes, the roots began to sprout.

A dynasty was born.

First Donna. Then Liv.

Hey, you're not eating.

Just when I thought my whole life was falling apart.

He's like a sign from heaven, isn't he, Grandma?

Sure is.

Well, I gotta be in Kansas City early tomorrow morning for a show.

What? You're leaving?

He's leaving, Grandma? It's okay, honey.

Maybe Liv could keep you company in Kansas City.

Really? Um, w-well--

Oh, I'm so excited I gotta pee!

Where's she going?

Next door.

There's always something wrong with the septic tank.

Look, what are you talking about?

Listen, you no-good son of a bitch.

You knock up my daughter like she's some bitch in heat, and then you disappear without so much as a backward glance.

Well, it's time to pay up.

Um, well, I mean, I was gonna give you something.

You know, for the funeral and all and, well--

I'm not talking about money, but I'll take it.

Now, you better listen.

That girl is not gonna lose a mother and a father in the same week.

Oh, come on! You can't be serious!

She's got a life here. I mean, she's got a job.

She's an adult, for Christ's sake.

Just listen to me.

I don't give a damn whether you stay or go, but not until that sweet child manages to turn her life back around.

She's a special girl.

You may not be much, but you and I are all she has, and what she needs now is a father.

Don't be ridiculous.


Good evening, sir.

Good evening. I would like a room.

Thank you. Of course.

Could you fill this out, and may I have a credit card?

Ahh, got something better than a credit card.

I have got over 800,000 frequent flier miles.

I've been wanting to take advantage of your room credit offer for years.

I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have any mileage credit rooms available this evening.

Oh, you don't have any vacancies?

Yes, we do, but not for the mileage credit program.

Uh, if you'd like to reserve a room now for credit, the earliest I have available is in six weeks.

I would like a room tonight.

We take MasterCard, Visa or AMEX.

♪ You're a real tough cookie with a long history ♪

♪ Of breaking little hearts like the one in me ♪

♪ Before I put another notch in my lipstick case ♪

♪ You better make sure you put me in my place ♪

♪ Hit me with your best shot ♪

♪ Come on Hit me with your best shot ♪

♪ Hit me with your best shot ♪

♪ Fire away ♪

♪ Hit me with your best shot ♪

♪ Why don't you hit me with your best shot ♪

♪ Hit me with your best shot ♪

♪ Fire away ♪

♪ Ba Ba Ba baow ♪♪

Hey, excuse me. You are a great singer.

Aw! Karaoke's my life.

Oh.

What is karaoke?

What? Where you been, mister?

Uh, airport hotel rooms.

Oh. Suburbia.

Mental jail. Ah!

Well, they don't got it in jail yet, but they got it in every bar I ever been in.

And it's what, exactly?

Oh, it's a rush like you wouldn't believe.

It's like you get to be a star for three minutes!

Ow!

Can you sing?

I mean, up there in front of people?

Oh, well, I used to, actually. A little bit. A long time ago.

Yeah? Well, what happened?

I don't know. I guess I went into sales.

Oh, well, are you in sales at the moment?

Oh, no.

Actually, I'm out getting a pack of cigarettes.

Yeah.

I don't know where I am, actually.

Uh, I'm somewhere in Arizona or something.

Arizona?

Right?

Are you crazy? You're in New Mexico.

Oh, Close enough. They're right next to each other.

Well, why don't you go ahead and go sing?

No.

Yeah. No!

Oh, come on! It won't kill you!

No way. No.

I'd be way too nervous.

Ah! Okay.

Here. Take one of these. Just one. Go ahead.

Go on.

Beta blockers.

They chase all your fears away.

Come on.

Drink up.

Taffy!

Good boy.

Sheila!

What can I do for you?

Can you do me a little favor?

My friend here is desperate to sing.

Oh, no.

Are you sure?

No, no, thank you. No, I couldn't.

Oh, come on!

I couldn't. No. They're not workin' yet.

Uhhh!

Mm-hmm.

Go! You can do it!

Okay! What the hell!

All right! What's your name?

Todd.

Yeah.

Don't be afraid. Come on up.

Whoa, whoa. What am I supposed to sing?

I'm gonna put a song on. Watch the monitor and sing.

Everyone, a warm welcome for Todd.

He's a little nervous.

Come on, brother! Sing your song!

♪ Hello, it's me ♪

♪ Hello, it's me ♪

I'm sorry, honey.

You started a little too soon.

You wait 'til the colors change.

We'll try it again.

Okay.

♪ Hello, it's me ♪

♪ I've thought about us for a long, long time ♪

♪ Maybe I think too much but something's wrong ♪

♪ There's something here that doesn't last too long ♪

♪ Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine ♪ Yeah!

♪ Seein' you ♪

♪ Or seeing anything as much as I do you ♪

♪ I take for granted that you're always there ♪

♪ I take for granted that you just don't care ♪

♪ Sometimes I can't help seein' all the way through ♪

Yeah!

Whoo!

Yeah!

♪ It's important to me ♪

♪ That you know you are free ♪

♪ 'Cause I never wanna ♪ Hey, Taffy.

♪ Make you change for me ♪ He's so cute, isn't he?

Yeah, he is.

♪ Think of me ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ You know that I'd be with you if I could ♪

♪ I'll come around to see you once in a while ♪

♪ Or if I ever need a reason to smile ♪

♪ And spend the night if you think I should ♪♪


Hey, lady, can you help me out?

Hey.

Oh, no.

I spent my last money on that bus.

Maybe you can help me out.

They got a karaoke bar around here?

Oh, I wouldn't know.

I guess you wouldn't, would you?

Anyway--

Hey!

God bless you, sir. Have a nice day.

Hey, lady, come back!

♪ Hey, hey, ah ♪

♪ What I like about you ♪

♪ What--

♪ What I like about you ♪

♪ That's what I like ♪ Here you go.

Billy!

Been to every bar in town.

Me too.

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.

So what do you want from me?

Look, you're the greatest guy I have ever met.

You're the first man that I had sex with.

You know, after ten years of being with women.

And the sex was great.

You were so tender, and you were so sweet.

It was almost like being with a girl.

Seriously.

Hey, what's the purse in this shit-hole?

Where's the K.J .?

The K.J .?

We're talking here.

Whatever.

Hey.

You got money up on the karaoke, or is this some kind of shadow hang?

Not today. Strictly barbers and phantoms.

Ah, shit!

No!

You just don't have enough faith in yourself.

Don't start the cheerleader act, okay? I'm sick of it!

You're like some totally pure, totally innocent person.

Most of us can't be like you.

Or I know I can't.

To you and Ralph.

You're not even listening to me.

I told you! He's repulsive.

Then why?

I don't know. I guess he--

I guess 'cause he treats me like shit.

Ha!

♪ That's what I like about you ♪ Sorry.

♪ Hey ♪ Listen, there's one other thing I gotta--

Ralph's worried about the vehicle.

His half-a-vehicle.

Ralph is worried about his half-a-vehicle.

Said he'll call the cops if you don't bring that cab in.

He means it too.

He said it like 40 times. At least.

Well, he's gonna have to do what he's gonna have to do.

Okay, Billy.

You do what you gotta do, you know?

I'm really sorry about everything, really.

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪♪

I hope you find that angel you're looking for someday.

So, you own a cab?

I own half a cab.

How does someone own half a cab?

Well, that's about as far as your basic underachiever gets in life.

Didn't you know that?

No. I'm an achiever, myself.

Good for you.

So, are you free? Free for what?

I need a ride.

Where you goin'? California.

I don't have any money, but I'd be willing to be nice to you.

Real nice. All the way to the Sunshine State.

Florida is the Sunshine State.

Whatever.

I need to get to California, and I'm willing to be nice.

What are you normally?

Okay, fine!

That's what I get for talking to your basic underachiever.

Which way is the interstate, exactly?

About two miles west.

What are you gonna do?

Hitch.

Hey, um, which way's west, exactly?

Is that it?

A few miles up the road is the Side Track.

It's a truck stop It's where you get off.

Well, I appreciate the ride this far.

It might take you some time to get another ride, this being Utah and you being colored and all.

Them shoes you're wearing don't help any.

Uh, I'm not sure I quite understand what you mean.

Them's prison shoes.

Standard issue when they drum you out.

Worn a pair or two myself.

Yes, I'm sure you have.

What were you in for? An error in judgment.

Hey, babe, we was all in for an error in judgment.

Yeah, I suppose we were.


Some say the world will end in fire.

Some say in ice. What do you think?

Heh.

Hard to say, Cold War bein' over and all.

Your money or your life.

Get the fuck out.

I apologize. I do.

It's just that the only skill I have is singing.

Learn a trade.

I have. This is it.

♪ I'm on a Mexican radio ♪

♪ I'm on a Mexican Whoa, radio ♪


Hello!

Hop in.

Come on, come on, come on. Hop in.

Where you going? I don't know.

What the fuck do you care?

Hop in.

Your eyes are weird.

You on something?

'Scuse me?

You look funky. Are you a cop?

No.

Okay, then shit or get off the pot.

Where you going?

Chicago. Where you going?

Nowhere.

I'm actually out buying a pack of cigarettes.

What's in Chicago?

My mother's in Chicago.

Oh. Okay.

Well, they probably got cigarettes there.

Hop in.

Reach in that cooler back there.

Pop us a couple of cervezas, por favor.

I tried those Styrofoam jobbies the last three times.

You think it's cost-efficient?

It is not.

Ah. There you go.

Gracias.

You're not having one?

No, thank you. It's against the law.

You should loosen up, my friend.

You think so?

Mmm. Hell yes.

You know, in fact, this whole country should loosen up.

It's not even a country anymore anyway.

It's just a big strip mall.

McDonalds, Pizza Huts, Wendy's.

Big strip mall from coast to coast.

You're on cocaine?

I have a cold.

You're flyin' on something.

I'm flying on freedom.

I scored some bennies off some shadow in this K-bar last night.

I think it was Tucumcari.

Shadow?

Yeah. It's K-talk. It's karaoke.

Uh, I may need you to drive later on.

I don't know how.

You don't know how to drive?

No, I don't know how to drive.

How bizarre!

Is this a result of heredity?

Environment.

I've lived my life in tiny rooms.

So have I, man.

All owned by major chains.

Chains?

Ramada, Sheraton, Motel 6. Chains.

Huh. I'm no stranger to chains myself.

Well, now, aren't we lucky that we met?

Hi. What are you doing here?

I decided to come. I got the room next door.

Just like that? How'd you find me?

Information.

I only had to call three hotels before I found you.

Wow!

Do you always get a king-size bed?

Huh? Uh, yeah.

I love a king-size bed.

The only time I ever get to sleep in one is if I'm with one of the headliners from the show.

Look, um, Liv--

Tom Jones. He was the best.

He let me stay in his room for the whole month he was there last year.

He was really nice to me.

So, you, uh, slept with Tom Jones.

It wasn't like that. We didn't do that.

Oh, I see.

You spent a month sleeping with Tom Jones in his Vegas hotel room, and you never had sex?

No.

Well, what exactly did you do for Tom?

I kept him from being lonely, like I'm gonna do for you.

We're family, Daddy.

I've waited my whole life to spend time with you.

I'm not cut out for this.

Just like that?

Look, can we just deal with this later?

I gotta go to work.

Singing?

Yeah. I'm a singer. That's what I do for a living.

This is a karaoke bar.

Yeah, with a ton of prize money.

Can I watch you work?

No.

Why?

Because you wouldn't understand.

How would you know that?

I just know it.

You think I'm stupid?

No.

Look, I do a solo, that's all.

Well, well. Sleeping Beauty stirs.

Where am I?

Missouri.

Six more states and we're home free.

There's a layer of puke on the side of the car that looks and smells like rancid guacamole.

I told you to take some aspirin last night, but you were, like, totally trashed.

I've gotta get home.

You don't have a home, junior. I bet you got a headache.

Sort of, yeah.

You alcoholics are all the same.

I'm not an alcoholic. I'm not.

Whatever you say. I'm not the judge and jury.

I got my own problems.

Ooh, do I detect a note of interest this morning?

I told you I'd be nice to you if you took me to California.

I tried to be nice, but you were like permanently at half-mast, like a nation in mourning.

Listen, I can drop you somewhere and, you know--

I can drop you at the bus station or the interstate.

Wherever you wanna go, I can drop you.

I wanna go to California.

No, um, I mean here, now.

I mean in the immediate vicinity.

We gotta paint the cab.

And what would lead you to think I would paint my cab?

We gotta paint the cab because the dildo who's drilling your ex-girlfriend is gonna be coming after his half.

He can have it as far as I'm concerned, but not until we get to California.

If you think I'm gonna drive you to California, you're delusional.

Well, it's better than crawling back on your hands and knees to those two losers, isn't it?

I like the Cotton Candy Fuchsia, don't you, Billy?

Very daring.

I must say, you are a connoisseur.

That is our top of the line signature hue.

Now, is this part of the $99 special?

Alas, quality does not come cheap.

That is a creme de la creme paint job for a creme de la creme price.

The Cotton Candy series goes for 173.99, tax included.

Okay. We'll take it, right, Billy?

Oh, definitely.

Excellent choice. How'd you like to pay for that?

Cash, check, credit card?

Uh, well, we're a little short on money right now, sir, but I'll consider it an honor and a privilege to suck your dick.

Pushing it kinda hard, ain't you?

Then you drive.

I told you. I don't know how.

I'll teach ya.

No, man!

Come on. It's easy.

I'm sure. I just don't wanna do it.

A guy your age doesn't know how to drive, it's ridiculous.

Ah--

♪ Islands in the stream That is what we are ♪

♪ No one in between ♪

♪ How can we be wrong ♪ Oh, shit.

What?

It's duets night.

♪ And we rely on each other ♪

♪ Uh-huh ♪♪ Can you carry a tune at all?

Oh, I do okay.

Yeah? Back me up?

I don't know, it's--it's--

Oh, hello there.

Hi.

Uh, what's the money tonight?

It's $50.

Each?

Where do you think you are, pal, Austin?

Huh.

No, the real big money's up in Omaha this Saturday.

Oh? How much?

Five grand.

If you win here, you qualify.

Well, show me the menu. Thank you.

Mmm.

Can you handle this?

Try A Little Tenderness, please.

Uh-huh.

Thank you very much.

Might think about slowin' down on those, pal.

What are you, my mother?

Come on.

What's the, um--

This is the screen I was telling you about.

The words just come up there, and as they change color, you just sing along with it.

As they change color, you just sing.

Don't worry about it.

Okay, uh, I'm gonna have to take a rain check, pal.

Why?

Don't worry about it. Just lip-synch or something.

I'll carry the whole thing.

No, no.

I'll carry the whole thing.

Really, really, I can't.

Oh, look, it's duets night. Live in the moment.

I will drive you anywhere in the goddamn country if you will do this for me.

I swear to God.

Come on.

How you gonna beat that deal?

Come on.

Just stand there.

That's all I need.

Please.

♪ Oh, she may be weary ♪

♪ And young girls they do get wearied ♪

♪ Wearin' that same old shaggy dress ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ But when she gets weary ♪

♪ She gets weary ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey now ♪ Come over here.

Come here. Come on.

♪ I know she's waiting ♪

♪ Just anticipating ♪

♪ The things ♪

♪ That she'll never ♪

♪ Never ♪

♪ Never, never possess ♪

♪ Never, never possess, no ♪

♪ While she's there waiting ♪

♪ Ooh, she's waiting ♪ Just tell me what to do, Reginald, please.

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪ ♪ That's all you gotta do ♪

♪ It's not ♪

♪ Just sentimental No, no, no ♪

♪ No, no, no, no ♪

♪ She has her grief and cares ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ But the soft words ♪ You seen these guys before?

♪ They are spoke so gentle ♪ All right.

♪ Oh, makes it easier ♪

♪ Easier ♪

♪ Easier to bear ♪ Ha!

♪ Oh, now you won't regret it No, no ♪

♪ Young girls they don't forget it ♪

♪ Love is their only happiness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ Yeah!

♪ But it's all so easy All so easy ♪

♪ All you got to do is try a little ♪

♪ Tenderness ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ You got to, got to, got to got to, got to, got to ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, hey, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Hey, hey All you got to do now ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Ohhhh You got to ♪

♪ You got to ♪

♪ Squeeze her Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ Na, Na-Na, wa, Na-Na, ow ♪ ♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah, ohhhh ♪

♪ Ooh, now, oh ♪

♪ Don't lose her now ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪♪ Ow! Whoo! Whoo!

That was great!

Oh. Yeah.

You boys were great.

Me and Scott here were gonna give it a shot tonight, but after hearing you, we ain't even gonna try.

Hey, thank you.

Superb.

Wahhh--

That's excellent, excellent, excellent.

Mmm. Mmm!

Try passing somebody.

Are you crazy?

No, no, no.

Now, on the left, of course.

On the left, left, left, left.

Always on the left.

Always pass on the left, Reginald, unless, of course, the right is the only thing open.

Cardinal rule of American business.

Oh, very good!

Very smoothly done!

Hey, hey, hey!

You've done this before, huh, hotshot?

This is good.

You don't want to pass this up. Pass him.

No.

Todd--

Pass it!

Oh, f--

Pass it, loser!

Hey!

Hey, hey.

How can a guy who sings like you be such a loser?

Pass it!

That's it!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Keep going.

Yes!

Oh! You're doin' beautiful!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Yours?

Oh, Reginald.

You have little hidden corners.

Nevermind that.

Oh, what do you do with this thing?

You don't wanna know.

Oh, uh, you're wrong about that.

Show me.

No.

No more driving lessons if you don't.

Fine.

No more driving lessons.

Do you want to depend on people for rides for the rest of your life?

Come on.

Show me what you do with the gun.

You don't want to know!

Get out!

Fine.

Hey--

No--

No, it's not fine. It's pathetic.

You sing like an angel, and you don't even know how to drive a car?

That is what is wrong with the entire culture, Reggie.

It's why I--me personally-- why I destroyed the breeding ground for an entire race of turtles, all in the name of a water slide, Reggie!

You're crazy.

I think you need some sleep.

Get some sleep for me.

Sure.

You're right.

Really? Really?

Sure.

Let's go.


♪ She'll expose you when she snows you ♪

♪ Off your feet with the crumbs she throws you ♪

♪ She's ferocious ♪

♪ And she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush ♪

♪ All the boys think she's a spy ♪

♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ And she'll tease you She'll unease you ♪

♪ All the better just to please you ♪

♪ She's precocious ♪

♪ And she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush ♪

♪ All the boys think she's a spy ♪

♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ And she'll tease you ♪

♪ She'll unease you ♪

♪ Just to please you ♪

♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ She'll expose you ♪

♪ When she snows you ♪

♪ And she knows you ♪

♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪

♪ She's got Bette Davis eyes ♪♪

Yeah!

Amazing.

I was so scared.

Oh, no, baby.

You were great.

You know, you could go real far with the right coaching.

Oh, my God, what are you going as?

What exactly are you doing here?

I wanted to see you sing.

Is that right?

You gonna enter this little contest of ours?

I don't know.

What do they call it, anyway?

Karate-okee?

Looks a little stupid.

Could I win a free drink or something?

And who are you?

Oh, well, this is Buddy.

Buddy is the champion around here.

He wins the prize money every time, don't you, Buddy?

Well, that's what they say.

Oh, and this here is Clark. This is Buddy's manager.

Manager? You must be some singer, Buddy.

That's right. Buddy here's the best on the circuit.

Looks like my boy's gonna bring home the bacon again.

Your boy?

Oh, I get it.

You two guys are lovebirds. Is that the deal?

Who are you, mister?

I'm a guy who's willing to bet you a thousand bucks on top of the purse that I can blow your ass offstage.

What do you say?

All right.

No, Buddy.

Something don't smell right here.

Come on, Buddy. It'll be fun.

Marlene, you got yourself another entry.

Goddamn it, Buddy.

Let's just get the bartender to hold this bet.

I'll hold it.

You really his manager?

Number five. Crank it up.

♪ Shooby-doo bop bop, pow, ah ♪

♪ My heart is cryin', cryin' ♪

♪ Lonely teardrops ♪

♪ My pillow's never dry of ♪

♪ Lonely teardrops ♪

♪ Come home Come home ♪ Watch my back.

♪ Just say you will Say you will ♪

♪ Say ♪ You're some kind of goddamn hustler, ain't you, boy?

You know what we do to hustlers around here?

Yeah. You lose.


Can I help you?

Yeah, we'd like a couple rooms.

Okay, they're $79 apiece.

No problem. I've got this.

This would be what?

This would be 800,000 frequent flier miles.

And so?

So you've got a room credit offer.

Um, no, we don't.

Oh, yes you do, because I've read about it in a thousand in-flight magazines.

Did you read about it yesterday?

No, I didn't fly yesterday. I drove with my friend here.

Well, that's too bad.

You might have read that yesterday the offer ended.

This offer never really existed anywhere, right?

Listen, if you have cash--

Oh, yes, I've got cash.

I have got more credit cards than a New York debutante.

I've got stocks, bonds, and a dozen lines of credit.

But I have been buying this mileage dream with my poor addled brain for years now, and it turns out to be totally meaningless, doesn't it?

Gimme that, man!

Gimme that--

This whole offer is just like every other pipe dream in the U .S.A., right?

Come on, man. Put down the gun!

Just another cynical stock-job sucker punch on us poor, dumb commercial believers.

It's a '90s version of religious persecution, you know?

You people, you are terrifying!

Okay, okay.

I can give you two rooms.

I'll even throw in an upgrade.

Really. You hear that?

Give it.

No, just a second.

Be cool, man.

Absolutely. Sure.

Whatever you say.

Bye now.

Bye.

Really?

Thank you.

Okay, we're in the executive suite.

Let me guess.

You wanna sleep in a bed tonight or not?

What?

I don't understand you.

You don't have to understand me.

What I do is just a hustle.

No, it's not about a damn hustle.

It's about humiliating yourself.

It's about denigrating yourself because you can't deal with the possibility of failure.

You're the loser here. You're the underachiever.

What's it like going around being everybody's conscience?

Doesn't it get lonely?

Don't you, trying to be everybody's wet dream?

Listen, you loser.

You got nowhere to go and nothing to go back to.

You're just another poor lost soul leading a life of quiet desperation.

I'm gonna be the only major thing that has ever happened to you in your life, and you're gonna be jerkin' off to my memory on your deathbed.

If I was you, I'd just sit back and enjoy the ride.

How'd you get like this?


Hmm.

Ah--

Hey, this ain't Kmart, pal.

Find what you need and get out.

Did you hear me?

Uh-huh.

I've lived my life in sales.

Being hostile to a consumer is very counterproductive.


That's it. Get the fuck out.

Jesus Christ.


Gimme the gun.

Come on, man.

Why?

Gimme the gun.

No.

Fucker.

Shut up!

Oh!

Gimme that!

Huh?

Oh!

Come on!

Go!

Get down!


Reginald, are you angry with me?

You're strung out, man. You need some sleep.

No, no, no.

You are so wrong, my brother.

I have never been more awake in my entire life.

You're just mad because I'm on to your little secret.

And that would be what?

Oh, the power of life and death.

Bam, bam, bam!

John Wayne I am!

It's a viable alternative to a life in sales.

Hmm.

What?

Tsk.

I know that look.

That is the Candy Woods look of disdain, isn't it?

I wouldn't know.

Never met her.

Hey--

Uh--

Here.

Candy Woods.

She specializes in plastic runners.

These your kids?

Mm-hmm. Julie and Carson.

Kind of pretty.

You think so?

I gotta use the bathroom.

Fine.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stay in the car.

Fine.

You know what the hangover is for killing?

No.

I give up.

Doom.

Hello?

Mrs. Todd Woods?

Yes.

How soon can you get to Omaha, Nebraska, Mrs. Woods?

♪ I'll close my eyes ♪

♪ Then I won't see ♪

♪ The love you don't feel ♪ ♪ When you're holding me ♪

♪ Morning will come ♪

♪ And I'll do what's right ♪ ♪ Just give me 'til then ♪

♪ To give up this fight ♪

♪ And I will give up this fight ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't make you love me ♪

♪ If you don't ♪

♪ You can't make your heart feel ♪

♪ Somethin' it won't ♪

♪ Here in the dark ♪

♪ In these final hours ♪

♪ I will lay down my heart ♪

♪ And I feel the power ♪

♪ But you won't ♪

♪ No, you won't ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't make you love me ♪

♪ If you don't ♪♪

I think it's clear. We have a winner.

The $500 grand prize winner this evening, ladies and gentlemen, is Suzi Loomis.

As if--

As if I have to tell you, Suzi, you now qualify to sing in Omaha on Saturday night for $5,000.

Here you go, darlin'. Congratulations.

Let's hear it.

Suzi Loomis, ladies and gentlemen.

You were really great.

Not too shabby, huh?

Way to go, baby.

Let's not forget our agreement, huh?

I mean, a deal's a deal.

Come on!

No, no, no, no, no.

I think you should just leave it alone, all right?

That's Mr. and Mrs. Dean?

Mr. and Miss.

We're here for the contest.

That reservation was for one room or two?

Two rooms. Adjoining, if possible.

Oh, I'm sure that can be arranged.

Great.

I'll register you in.

Don't worry. I won't cramp your style.

What's this?

It's the end of the road.

They got karaoke?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, this hotel has a mileage upgrade offer.

Really?

Yeah.

You do it.

Okay.

Will you look at this place? We could be anywhere.

Yeah, I guess we could.

Hi. Hello.

Oh, I'm sorry. We're not accepting this right now.

But we do accept all major credit cards.

Hey.

Huh?

Get a room like everybody else.

What do you think?

You're funny.

I am? Why?

Because I make you nervous.

No, you don't.

You act like I do.

I wanted to be a ballerina, did you know that?

But Donna had her heart set on us working side by side.

She never really said so, but I could tell.

You always refer to your mom by her first name?

Only since we started working at the Dunes, because she said that me calling her mom made her feel old.

She used to talk about you a lot, you know.

Did you ever miss her?

I don't know. I suppose so.

Well, she could not sing at all.

But I used to love it when she would, and she would always sing the same song over and over like a broken record.

And, uh, it went, like--

♪ You're gonna fly away ♪

♪ Glad you're goin' my way ♪

♪ I love it when we're cruisin' together ♪ Smokey Robinson.

You know it.

Sure.

It was one of our favorites.

♪ Music is played for love ♪

♪ Cruisin' is made for love ♪♪ Hey, why'd you come to Donna's funeral?

Look, um, you know, I don't wanna get into it.

I mean, I just feel like we're circling the inevitable.

What does that mean?

Well, you have this childlike dream that we're always gonna be together.

It's an unrealistic fantasy.

I mean, it's just not who I am.

I'm sorry.

You know, you are so busy pushing people away and trying to be something that you're not, that when something real finally comes into your life, you can't deal with it.

Well, I am here. I am alive.

I am your daughter.

Whether you want to take responsibility for it or not, it's a fact.

I mean, what kind of person doesn't acknowledge his own child?

I'm not asking you for the moon.

I am asking you for a hand, to reach out, and you can't even do that.

And you feel sorry for me?

I feel sorry for you.


Todd?

Jesus.

What are you doing?

Talk to your wife, man, not to me.

No.

I wanna talk to you.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Trying to save your life.

I love you, man.

Are you gay, Todd?

Is that what's happening?

No, Mrs. Woods, we're not gay.

Your husband has been kind to me.

He's been a friend.

But now he's headed down this path.

Oh, that's right. That's right. A path.

For once in my life, it's a real path.

It's not some cheap, plastic corporate illusion of a path.

It's a real path to the real meaning of the real truth.

You know, I have actually computed in my head the odds of getting the same rental car twice in a lifetime of business travel, and do you know what they are?

Do you know how many actual sense memories I have of being in the same off-white Chevy Caprice from the Alamo people in the Dallas-Fort Worth area alone?

No.

It would blow your mind.

It's nothing either one of you people can obviously ever comprehend.

I don't know what's going on, Todd, but I'm frightened.

Don't be frightened, Mrs. Woods.

Nothing's happened that can come back to haunt you, if he stops now.

Stops what?

Huh? Who are you?

I'm a friend.

Oh.

Your husband has made an error in judgment.

I would be pleased to take all the blame.

For what?

Todd, what is going on?

I'm getting really confused here, and I don't get it.

Because I ask you--

I say we take the country back from the McDonalds and the Pizza Huts and the Wendy's.

I say we tear down all those strip malls and we get back in touch with the inner core.

Oh, my God, Todd!

Would you be cool?

Wha--? Be cool.

I gotta go.

Why? You just got here.

Did I say something that offended you?

You're just plain insane.

I'm just a little tired of the American Dream.

Hello, everybody.

Are you ready to rock the house?

Okay, welcome to Omaha, Nebraska.

You've all qualified to sing here tonight from just about every state in the Union, and the winner gets to take home $5,000.

Are you excited?

I am--

I am excited.

It should be an amazing night.

So let the games begin.

Whoo!

♪ For the first time in history ♪

♪ It's gonna start rainin' men ♪

♪ Start rainin' men ♪

♪ It's rainin' men ♪♪

♪ At break of day when that man drove away ♪

♪ I was waiting ♪

♪ I crossed the street to her house ♪

♪ And she opened the door ♪

♪ She stood there laughing ♪ Hi. You a contestant?

Yeah, Ricky Dean.

My daughter set me up earlier.

Yep. I got you down.

You go on in about 20 minutes, okay?

Will you be using your own CD?

Not tonight.

Can I see your menu?

Sure.

♪ My Delilah ♪♪ Here you go. Thanks.

Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. Sorry about that.

Oh!

It's okay.

♪ Up to the moment when we said our first hello ♪

♪ Little did we know ♪

♪ Love was just a glance away ♪

♪ A warm embracing dance away ♪

♪ And ever since that night ♪

♪ We've been together ♪ Hey.

♪ Lovers at first sight ♪ Hi. Hi.

♪ In love forever ♪ Uh, we bumped into each other in the lobby.

I know.

♪ It turned out so right ♪

♪ For strangers in the night ♪

♪ Doo-bee doo-bee doo ♪

♪ Doo doo doo Dee doo ♪

♪ Da Dee da Dee da da Dee da da Dee da ♪♪

An angel just passed.

What's that?

My mom used to say that when nobody talked for a minute that an angel just passed.

Oh.

Are you gonna sing?

Me? No. No, no, no.

I don't know how to sing.

I mean--

Everybody knows how to sing, it's just I'm not good at it.

Oh, come on.

I bet you're just being modest.

Let's bring out our next singer.

All right.

Are you guys ready for the song stylings of Miss Suzi Loomis?

Suzi Loomis?

No?

Suzi Loomis.

Going once.

Suzi Loomis going twice.

Nope?

Would you excuse me?

We'll give you a chance to come up here.

Yeah.

In the meantime, let's just move down the list.

Okay.

You kids ready? Yeah?

Okay.

Let's bring out Tonia and Hobie Kasper.

♪ Bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom ♪

♪ Bom bom bom bom bom bom Ba ding-a-ding ding ♪

♪ Blue moon ♪

♪ Blue, blue, blue Blue moon ♪♪

They called your name.

Are you all right?

Can't you tell?

You're sick?

Scared shitless.

Ugh.

You were right, you know?

I'm the loser.

I was just too dumb to notice.

You happy?

Now, go away and let me die in peace, please.

You know, I was gonna be a priest.

Really, I was.

Black robe and the collar, the whole deal.

I was, uh--

I was about to graduate the seminary.

Yeah--

I don't know what happened. I don't.

Ever since I was a kid, I believed that there was some greater purpose for my life.

You know?

I thought it was my calling to help people.

It's such a crock. It's a crock.

No.

My third-grade teacher said the world's a sewer and we're all living in hell.

Wow. Tough class.

Listen, I'm always gonna believe the world's beautiful and people are basically decent.

And if that's gonna keep me from fitting in, then I'd rather go through this whole life like a complete and utter retard, rather than have to accept somebody else's miserable reality.

Do you know what I mean?

Do you wanna help me up?

Yeah.

Where do you think they think we're gonna put the TVs if they weren't bolted to the furniture?

You got me.

Yeah.

You look great.

Good. 'Cause I wanna win tonight.

I want the five thou. Me too.

Ah, I don't think you're up to it.

What are you talkin' about?

No, it would be funny, us not doing a duet.

Pretty night tonight.

I'm really sorry about what happened.

He shouldn't have shot at us.

That was stupid.

Uh-huh.

He made an error in judgment.

Uh.

So did you.

Your wife seems like a very decent person.

Yeah. She fooled me too.

Now, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, man.

Come on. Enough.

I'm trying to keep you from throwing your life away.

Why?

I'm through livin' in a middle-class prison.

You don't know anything about livin' in prison.

I'll-- I'll--

I'll be good. I promise.

Let's just go downstairs.

I never met anybody like you.

All right, Omaha.

Are we having a good time?

Yeah!

Yeah?

Okay.

Well, we found her this time, so let's try this again, okay?

Let's give a nice, warm round of applause to Miss Suzi Loomis.

♪ Hey, hey-ey ♪

♪ Yeah, yea-ah ♪

♪ Sweet dreams are made of this ♪

♪ Who am I to disagree ♪

♪ I travel the world and the seven seas ♪

♪ Everybody's lookin' for somethin' ♪

♪ Some of them want to use you ♪

♪ Some of them want to get used by you ♪

♪ Some of them want to abuse you ♪

♪ Some of them want to be abused ♪

♪ Sweet dreams are made of this ♪

♪ Who am I to disagree ♪

♪ I travel the world and the seven seas ♪

♪ Everybody's lookin' for somethin' ♪

♪ Sweet dreams are made of this ♪

♪ Sweet dreams are made of this ♪

♪ Sweet dreams are ♪

♪ Sweet dreams ♪♪

Do you think I'm a good person?

Yeah, I do.

I wish I did.

I wish a lot of things.

Everybody does.

What do you wish for?

Um--

All the things I never did when I had a chance to do 'em.

Uh, ladies and gentlemen, with your permission, I'd like to introduce my daughter, Liv.

Yeah!

♪ Baby, let's cruise ♪

♪ Away ♪

♪ From here ♪

♪ Don't be confused ♪

♪ The way ♪

♪ Is clear ♪

♪ And if you want it you got it forever ♪

♪ This is not a one-night stand ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ Yeah, so ♪

♪ Let the music take your mind ♪

♪ Just release and you will find ♪

♪ You're gonna fly away ♪

♪ Glad you're goin' my way ♪

♪ I love it when we're cruisin' together ♪ Have a seat.

♪ Music is played for love ♪

♪ Cruisin' is made for love ♪ You gonna be all right by yourself for a while?

♪ I love it when we're cruisin' together ♪ Cerveza, por favor.

♪ Cruise with me, baby ♪

♪ Cruise ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Cruise ♪

♪ Oh, baby, let's cruise ♪

♪ Let's float ♪

♪ Let's glide ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, let's open up ♪

♪ And go ♪

♪ Inside ♪

♪ And if you want it you got it forever ♪

♪ I could just stay here beside you and love you, baby ♪

♪ Let the music ♪

♪ Take your mind ♪

♪ Just release and ♪

♪ You will find ♪

♪ You're gonna fly away ♪

♪ Glad you're goin' my way ♪

♪ I love it when we're cruisin' together ♪

♪ Music is played for love ♪

♪ Cruisin' is made for love ♪

♪ I love it when ♪

♪ I love it ♪

♪ I love it I love it I love it ♪♪


♪ Her name was Lola She was a showgirl ♪

♪ With yellow feathers in her hair ♪

♪ And her dress cut down to there ♪

♪ She would merengue and do the cha-cha ♪

♪ And while she tried to be a star Tony always tended bar ♪

♪ Across the crowded floor They worked from 8 'til 4 ♪

♪ They were young and they had each other ♪

♪ Who could ask for more ♪

♪ At the Copa ♪

♪ Copa Copacabana ♪

♪ The hottest spot north of Havana ♪

♪ At the Copa Copacabana ♪

♪ Music and dancing were always the fashion ♪

♪ At the Copa ♪

♪ Don't fall in love ♪

♪ Copacabana ♪

♪ Copacabana ♪♪

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

It is sure gonna be tough to pick a winner tonight.

Okay, our next contestant, Mr. Reggie Kane.

What tune can I spin for you tonight, Mr. Kane?

I'm gonna make my own music tonight, ma'am.

This song is for a friend of mine.

He taught me to drive.

♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪

♪ Would you still remember me ♪

♪ For I must be travelin' on now ♪

♪ 'Cause there's too many places I've got to see ♪

♪ For if I stay here ♪

♪ With you now ♪

♪ Things just couldn't be the same ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm as free ♪

♪ As a bird now ♪

♪ And this bird you cannot change ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ And this bird you cannot change ♪

♪ Lord knows ♪

♪ I can't change ♪

♪ Lord knows ♪

♪ I can't change ♪♪


No!

Reggie! Reggie!

And they say our society has lost its finesse.

Oh, my God.

Man--

Go home.


May I sit?

Be my guest.

Thought you might like something.

Brought you something else.

I can't go back to who I was.

I'm different now.

I sing.

I'm sorry about your friend.

You must have really cared about him.

I know I haven't said this in a long time, but I love you very much.

♪ Oh, she may be weary ♪

♪ And young girls they do get wearied ♪

♪ Wearing that same old shaggy dress ♪

♪ But when she gets weary ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪♪

Hey. Hi.

How ya doin'?

I can't believe what happened last night.

I know.

Somebody said he was an escaped convict or something.

Mornin'.

All paid up.

I just don't believe that.

He seemed so sweet, and he sang so beautifully.

Yeah.

I never heard Free Bird sung like that.

Is that yours? Yeah.

Nice paint job. Thanks.

There you are.

Hey, you all ready to go?

Let's get the show on the road.

California, here I come.

Hey, something wrong there, honey?

No, I'm just sad.

Yeah, I know.

Well, if it's of any interest, there's a $2,000 purse in Sparks, Nevada.

Nevada?

Nevada's on the way to California.

Just a slight detour. What do you say?

How could I refuse?

Listen, it was really great meetin' you guys.

Hey, would you like to share our cab?

Why not?


You know, I already know the answer to this, but I'm gonna ask the question anyway.

Fire away.

I have 800,000 frequent flier miles that I never have been able to use.

You don't by any chance accept them for travel?

Of course we do.

Oh.

Well.

And they say that our society has lost its finesse.

♪ Each day through my window ♪

♪ I watch him as he passes by ♪

♪ And I say to myself ♪

♪ I'm so lucky he's so fly ♪

♪ To have a boy like him ♪

♪ Is truly a dream come true ♪

♪ Out of all the girlies in the world ♪

♪ He belongs to you ♪

♪ But it was just my imagination ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Tell you it was just my imagination ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Soon we'll be married ♪

♪ And raise a family ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Have a cozy little crib in the country ♪

♪ With two children maybe three ♪

♪ I tell you I ♪

♪ Can visualize it all, baby ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It couldn't be a dream ♪

♪ 'Cause too real it all seems ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ But it was just my imagination ♪

♪ Ooh, once again, yeah ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Running away with me ♪

♪ Tell you it was just my imagination ♪

♪ Running away ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ Me, yeah, yeah Hoo ♪

♪ Every night on my knees I pray ♪

♪ Dear Lord ♪

♪ Hear my plea, yeah ♪

♪ Don't ever let another take his love from me ♪

♪ Or I will surely die ♪

♪ Her love is ♪

♪ Heavenly ♪

♪ When your arms enfold me ♪

♪ I hear a tender rhapsody ♪

♪ But in reality ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ He doesn't even know me ♪

♪ Just my imagination ♪

♪ Ooh, he's so fly I look out my window ♪

♪ Runnin' away with me ♪

♪ It's runnin' away with me, baby ♪♪

♪ Oh, now you won't regret it No, no ♪

♪ Young girls they don't forget it ♪

♪ Love is their only happiness ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ But it's all so easy All so easy ♪

♪ All you got to do ♪

♪ Is try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her ♪

♪ Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ You got to, got to, got to ♪ got to, got to, got to ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah Hey, hey ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah Oh, don't lose her now ♪

♪ You got to squeeze her Don't tease her ♪

♪ Never leave her ♪

♪ You got to ♪

♪ Try a little tenderness ♪♪♪