Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010) Script

Dad, dinner's almost ready!


Dad? Oh, my God! Dad?

Dad?

Dad?


New Orleans can be a tough town to die in.

But when you die and come back, you call me. Dylan Dog.

Or at least you did.

You see, I used to protect all of them, all those creatures of the night.

Those sharp-toothed monsters you thought were only in the movies.

Why? Because they're real.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking.

I used to think the same thing.

But go ahead.

Take a closer look at that bum begging for change.

Take a look at your neighbour your best friend.

Hell, maybe even your girlfriend.

The undead are out there, hiding in plain sight.

And in my day, I was the line between you and them.

I was the peace, the cork in the bottle, the line in the sand.

But then everything changed.

And I discovered there's more than one way to die.

Your heart can go on ticking, but sometimes, that's just for show.

But flesh-eating monsters weren't my problem anymore.

I had moved on to a much safer line of work.

You think you can just ruin people's lives and get away with it?

You cocked the gun too early.

What?

Shove a gun in somebody's face, that's shock enough.

You want to save the gun-cooking till later.

In case the gun itself doesn't put enough fear into the guy.

You've already done that. Now what do you do?

Shake it at me?

See? Hardly effective, right?

But if you save the gun-cooking until later, boom.

Then you've got escalation.

And that, my friend, is the name of the game.

All right. So, why are you here?

I'm here to put a bullet in your head.

Not ringing bells.

You're gonna have to help me with this one, Chief.

Who are you again?

Oh, right. You're the one with the screamer.

Those pictures are gonna cost me everything.

The four-bedroom, five-bath house with the pool and the tennis court, and the Mercedes S-Class!

It's never pretty when love dies.

What would you know about it?

You know, I think you missed something in these photos.

Yeah, you should check this out.

See right here?

What did I miss?

Oh, God!

I think you broke my nose!

Calm down, big baby.

It's not broken.

Now, I know you're upset with me, but I'm just doing my job.

You were the one power-thrusting your secretary.

Executive assistant.

Whatever.

You do the crime, pay the fine.

But...

...she cheated on me first.

God.

You don't need revenge.

You need proof.

Audio. Pictures. Video, if possible.

I get 250 a day, plus expenses.

You wouldn't happen to have a check with you?

Do you take credit cards?

Dylan!

Did that guy just have a gun?

Here.

What is this? You're gonna like it.

It's something for us to keep up with the competition.

Marcus.

Dylan, listen, there's three key ingredients to life and business, okay?

I call it Y.E.L. It's yearning, earning, and learning.

You know, you really gotta stop watching those infomercials.

Yeah, and you need to evolve, man.

I'm sorry, there's a revolution going on, Dylan.

It's called "digital," all right?

There are certain parts of the world, that consider film kind of old.

Sounds like paradise.

Well, I used your credit card, so I hope you like it.

Hey. Have you thought about that conversation we had a couple weeks ago?

At all?

Dylan, Dylan. Look.

Now I'm not saying that getting your mail and developing your antiquated film stock isn't a blast.

But, frankly, I can do more, man. I want to do more, okay?

I thought this was about cases of life and death, not cheating husbands and insurance fraud.

I want to be your go-to guy, Dylan.

I don't want to be your go-get guy anymore.

I want to be your partner.

Marcus, I told you.

I can't have a partner.

I'm sorry.

No, that's cool, man.

Hey, speaking of cheating husbands...

...the Collins photos.

Yeah.

Is that even anatomically possible?

Yeah, you do not want to know what I crawled through to get this picture.

Oh, hey, you got a call today.

Lady in the Garden District. Said she needs to talk to you.

You hear that?

No. What?

That, my friend, is our fees going up.

The New Orleans Garden District, where the rich go to live in style.

On in this case, die in style.

Nice first impression.

Might be time for a new car, man.

Hey. It's a classic.

And you go before the car goes.

Understand? Yeah, right. Yep.

You know those guys?

In another life.

First thing you learn about uptown cases?

They always end up downtown.

If I'd have known where this one was heading, I would have turned it down in a heartbeat.

But you know what they say about hindsight it'll screw you every time.

Hi. Can I help you?

No. That's what I do.

I'm Dylan.

I'm not really sure how we do this.

I've never met a private investigator.

Well, why don't you just tell us why we're here?

My father...

Let me guess. Skipped out on the family?

He was murdered.

And he would never do that. So...

So, you're looking at "the family."

Condolences.

So, what do our friends in blue have to say about it?

They didn't hear a word I said.

They don't believe me. They don't believe my story.

They're parked outside just to convince the neighbours that they're safe. What?

Why do you think we will?

After the funeral, the priest gave me this.

I don't do that sort of thing anymore. Sorry for the confusion.

Marcus? What just happened?

My father was killed by some kind of monster.

Look, miss, in a moment of trauma, the mind can play tricks.

Don't give me that crap. I saw it with my own eyes.

It was huge, thick fur, massive claws.

Sorry, but an investigator isn't the type of help you need.

I knew you were bullshit.

We'll be in touch. Sorry for your loss! Thank you for your time.

Damn it, Dylan! What the hell, man?

That girl’s in trouble.

No, that girl is trouble. It's not our problem.

Sure. Her father's dead. She's traumatized.

She's all alone. She needs our help!

Drop it, Marcus. End of discussion.

Okay, stop, listen. Hold on, all right? Dylan, listen.

This is the first real case we've seen in years.

Okay, someone who actually needs our help.

This is exactly what I'm talking about.

Something different, something better!

Don't you want that?

No, I don't. No, you don't.

Because things in life don't get better, all right?

They either stay the same, or they get a lot worse.

Five, 10, 20 years from now, I want every day to be the same.

That's my plan. See you tomorrow.

Good plan. Good. All right. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll just walk then?

"No pulse? No problem." What?

That doesn't even make any sense.

Corpus House, the hottest club in town.

A vampire den selling the new drug absolutely everyone wants.

Keeps you up all night, gives you the strength of 10 men.

It makes you feel like you could live forever.

Leave it to vampires to market their own blood as a thrill ride.

How much? 450.

You've had enough already, Roddy.

I'll let you know when I had enough, okay?

Roddy!

Roddy!

Shut up!

Yeah!

Vargas.

There was a werewolf murder last night.

An importer named Alfred Ryan. Civilian.

People die, Lorca. Get over it.

This one's different.

Apparently, the wolves at Port Authority caught wind of something being brought over from the old country.

The Heart.

Go check it out.

Goddamn breathers.

Hotshot. Party's over.

I'm just getting started.

Yeah!

Someone needs a timeout.

Carry on.


Hey, Dylan.

Hey, man, I wanted to apologize for earlier.

I shouldn't have said all that stuff, man.

I mean, it's not my business, and I feel like I overstepped my boundaries.

So, I'm sorry.

And I'm sure you're right, too.

She was probably just a nut job, some kind of whack-a-mole.

What was she talking about, anyway?

I mean, it was like something, some big beast with big fangs and big...


Marcus?

Marcus?

All right. Let's see what we got.

Jesus Christ!

Is it me, or does it look like something took a bite outta this guy?

Sorry.

With all the dead bodies I'd seen in my day, you'd think this would've been easier.

But it wasn't.

Marcus was my friend.

I thought I'd left my past behind, but sometimes, it has a way of sneaking up and punching you square into the present.

It was time to get back to work, fast.

Thought you said I was crazy.

What made you change your mind?

My friend was murdered last night.

Oh, I'm sorry. Who would do that?

Not a who. A what. Whatever killed wasn't human.

Someone was watching your house.

Someone who wanted to scare me off your case.

So, you're taking the case?

Maybe.

What killed my father?

A werewolf.

A werewolf? Like in the movies?

Yes and no.

They're not just in Grandma's cabin out in the woods.

Or only in London. They're here, in the city, living and working among us.

Most have learned to control the change, to control the beast inside.

But sometimes the beast gets loose and you get...

Well, this.

What did your father do for a living?

He was an importer.

I don't know what you're gonna find in the house.

The police have been all over the place.

Did they check the trees?

The trees?

Werewolves love to use trees.

Most of the earliest European cases of lycanthropy took place near forests.

Jackpot.

Fascinating.

It's very high-tech.

Undead investigation is old-school.

This is a female werewolf hair, between her second and third coat which means she's probably about 18.

That thing was a woman?

That thing was a girl.

What are those?

Hair samples.

The most common way to become a werewolf is through inheritance.

Like a genetic disorder, it's passed down from parent to child.

These families, like any Wolf pack, have identifying colours in their coats.

There are four werewolf clans in the city.

And they're pretty territorial, like the mob, so...

...this girl has to be from one of them.

Damn it.

What?

Hey.

What's the problem?

The Cysnos Meatpacking Plant.

Owned and operated by the Cysnos werewolf clan.

I was hoping I was wrong about them being mixed up in all of this.

Gabriel and I go way back.

But you know what they say about werewolf hair.

It doesn't lie.

The thing about Werewolves is that they don't take too well, at being accused of murder.

Especially the ones they commit.


Only ten pounds.

You shouldn't be sneaking around.

People might get the wrong idea.

Well, then, it's a good thing that I'm the only people here.

How's the family, Gabriel?

Excellent. Thank you for asking.

Can you even imagine what it means for you to walk through those gates again?

After what happened? They call you a monster hunter now.

You either have to be really brave or completely crazy, to come out of retirement.

Don't worry.

I'm still retired.

Just on one case.

A murder.

A human named Alfred Ryan.

Alfred Ryan. Alfred Ryan.

This name should mean something to me?

I don't know. You tell me.

Someone in your clan killed him.

Accuse one of my family and you accuse me.

You should know that.

Or have you travelled that far from the man I once knew?

Hey, I stayed away.

It's your world that came knocking.

And now someone close to me is dead.

Again.

Sorry.

Is this Mara?

How old is she? 17? Must be on her second coat by now.

Watch yourself, boy.

Out of respect for our past, I won't kill you where you stand.

You better leave. The others might not be as understanding.

Cassandra was a beautiful girl.

What happened to her was a tragedy, but I don't think she would have wanted this.

And what exactly is "this"?

You, stirring up old ghosts in her honour.

Cassandra.

I hadn't heard her name out loud in a long time.

You should've never came back.

You're not welcome here anymore, little pig.

Wolfgang. Still sore about our last fight?

My father should've never stuck his neck out for you with the Truebloods.

He should've let you roast like I told him to.

You're nothing but a lousy breather.

You hit like a vampire.

You know the last time I tasted human?

They say we ain't allowed no more...

But hey, rules were meant to be broken.


Oh, that's right. You're not a big fan of silver, are you?

After shooting the breeze with Wolfgang, I went to check out the address I'd found in Gabriel’s office.

Ten pounds of meat wasn't much of an order.

Maybe it was being delivered to a single person.

Maybe someone in hiding.

And sure enough, I hit pay dirt.

I found the monster that killed my client's father.

Mara?

The bad news? It was Mara, Gabriel’s daughter.

That's not a wolf bite.


So, is it over?

Not even close. She was tortured before she was killed.

Well, that's good. No, not good.

I need to know why.

What are you talking about? That monster deserved to die.

Lines are being crossed, the kind that end up starting a war.

Which is why I need to know, what was your father into?

Now, you listen to me very carefully. I told you everything.

No, you listen to me.

When I talk about a war, I don't mean the kind that you see on the news.

It'll be here, in the streets, and it'll be bloody.

And before long, that blood will lead right back here to you.

And when it does, no one will be able to save you.

Not even me.

Fine.

Okay.

I think I better just show you.

My father told me about this book, just in case anything ever happened to him.

After the other night, I checked it.

The objects in this book are worth around two million dollars.

None of it was touched.

Except for this one artefact.

This one I can't find.

And why didn't you tell anyone about this?

The things in this book are not meant for customs.

Your father was a smuggler.

You don't understand.

Somebody like you wouldn't understand.

I don't want anybody to know about this.

Not the police, not anybody.

Because that's not the way I want him to be remembered.

He was my father.

What is it?

Kill the lights.

Come on!

Let's go!

This way!

Come on!

Dylan?

Where's the Heart?

Dylan!

Get in.

What the hell was that?

Magnesium flare. Burns with the same intensity as sunlight.

It won't kill them, but it gave us an opening.

Not that. The part where you used me as live bait!

Look, you're alive.

Oh, my God!

Dylan!

Dylan, come on! Come on, do something! Dylan!

Dylan!

Kill it! Do something!

Hang on.

Bull's eye.

What the hell is going on?

Look around you. Look at them.

You think they're all like you, but they're not.

Someone on this street is an impostor. A living dead.

The monsters you read about as a kid, they're real, and they're here.

Werewolves, vampires, they're everywhere.

Hiding, surviving.

And the key to their survival is making sure none of us know they're here.

That's why New Orleans became their Mecca.

Where else could you hide if you were a creature of the night?

How do you know all this?

There was a pact among all the undead, to appoint a single human as impartial inspector.

An investigator.

Someone they could trust to protect them from themselves, when one of their own crossed the line.

There was a time when they trusted me. I kept their secret.

What happened?

I paid a price.

The bite on Mara looked similar to the one that killed Marcus.

I just had to be sure.

What are we doing here?

I gotta check something out.

Stay here.

Okay. So, I'll just scream if a killer vampire comes along.

Yeah, yeah, he's fresh. I told you, three hours in the bag.

Yeah. I don't know.

Phil, how big is he?

He's about 5'9", 170.

Yeah, he's a medium.

I'm sorry, but you needing more larges, you know, not exactly my problem.

Hey, hey, hey, public ain't allowed back here.

Shit. it's Dylan.

Phil, Cecil.

Dylan. It's really good to see you, bud.

I thought you was retired.

I'm just here to check out a body.

Came in this morning? Marcus Deckler?

Yeah, not so much.

Okay, yeah, the kid.

You know, I gotta compliment you, because you, my friend, have an excellent eye, because this kid, he really took good care of himself.

He's soft, like a lady.

I like that.

Was he a vegetarian or something?

Here he is.

The bite's the same.

Hey.

Where's his left arm?

Told you, dude! I knew this one was coming back.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

What's he talking about? Why am I freezing?

Where the hell am I? What's going on?

Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

The good. The bad.

Okay. The bad news is that you're dead.

Look at him!

You're funny. That's funny.

So, what's the good news then?

The good news is that the condition is manageable.

Wait a minute.

Wait a second.

I'm dreaming.

I'm dreaming. I'm asleep right now.

And you look great! Look at you!

Marcus.

I can like feel you, too. That's bizarre.

Marcus. No, Marcus. Marcus, stop it.

You look svelte, you look good, you look clean-out.

Man. I wish you were like this.

Marcus, you're not dreaming.

I think I am.

I think I am.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

What is this? What is that? What is that?

Mostly your large intestine.

Dylan, we're talking some serious malpractice shit here, man!

I mean, what are we gonna do about this? This is gonna get infected!

Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore.

You're the living dead, Marcus.

The good thing about being the living dead? No more jogging.

What's up?

How did this happen?

Well, by the looks of it, you got bitten by a zombie.

Only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch.

Hey, you know what? Those flesh eaters, they're not like us.

I mean, they're shredded, they're ripped, with an attitude to match.

Think Mike Tyson after you made fun of his lisp, and that tribal tattoo on his face.

That's the only way we fit in with them breathers.

We don't eat them, they don't sever our brain stems.

It's worked out pretty well so far.

Hey, you okay there, pally?

What happened to my arm? What happened to my...

Marcus!

Marcus was in bad shape, and I needed to understand why the undead were on a killing spree.

Luckily, there was Big Al's Body Shop, where...

Well, you'll see for yourself.

Body shop? What are we doing here?

Seeing an old informant of mine.

Where do you think you're going? We're closed.

Back off. Or you're gonna need some serious body work yourself.

Thank you.

Whatever you do, don't scream.

Okay.

What the hell is going on here?

This is a body shop.

Zombies come from all over the Southeast to get replacement parts.

They rot fast.

These people are zombies?

Think of it as recycling.

No, you don't pick them out of the bayou.

They're as fresh as your mother's...

I gotta call you back.

Holy rotting shit.

Dylan.

Big Al. How's the parts business?

Listen, man, I don't know how to say this exactly, but the word on the street is that you went, well, postal a ways back.

So, do I gotta be worried?

Relax, Al.

I'm just here to drop someone off for work.

Tell your hunchback he's in the trunk of my car.

Who's your friend, Dylan? She's got some nice parts on her.

She's a client.

So, I had a little run-in with the Truebloods tonight.

Oh, yeah? Really?

Not a happy reunion?

Who's running the show these days?

Vargas. He runs the Corpus House now.

The creep who peddles vampire blood to civilians?

Yeah, well, I guess the peddling business is starting to pay off.

He's got himself a corner office now.

I mean, especially since Trueblood upper management was sent to greener pastures.

If I had to guess, I'd say he's the one been spreading the word about you being this venator, that everyone's been talking about, capisce?

There's a venator around? Yeah.

What's a venator?

It's Latin, short for monstro venatorum.

Monster hunters.

Religious nut jobs, mostly.

Running around with silver bullets and wooden stakes and holy water.

Jeez.

We thought them days was done, but lately...

Lately what?

Few of the dead missing here and there.

Some whispers. Nothing for sure.

Man, you have been out of the loop.

And you wouldn't happen to be profiting from any of this now, would you, Al?

I'm offended, Dylan.

You know I run a clean operation here. This ain't no chop shop.

Right. Well, you keep those big ears open, Al.

You near of anything that I need to know, you be sure to give me a call.

Well, all right, then.

You take it easy, Dylan. You hear me?

And do yourself a favour.

Stay away from Corpus House.

I got some bad news, Lorca.

Big Al's informant said he saw one of our Truebloods running away from where that bitch wolf died.

Do you have any clue of the heat that you could bring on us?

Of what we have at stake?

We have been waiting hundreds of years.

Look at me!

Hundreds, to finally come out of hiding.

To claim our rightful place at the top of the food chain.

To stop living off of human table scraps like some roving pack of cockroaches.

No! No more.

The human race is obsolete, y'all.

Now, how do we do this? It's simple.

The Heart of Belial.

Which Lorca here has not only failed to find, but he's...

He has managed to expose us...

...to Dylan.

I don't need to explain to you what it means to a vampire to be buried alive, right?

The claustrophobia, the insects, the worms eating away at your brain.

And yet you can never die.

It wasn't me. I couldn't find it.

Lorca, I want to believe you. I really do.

So, you know what?

I'm gonna give you a little bit of time to think it over.

Okay. How about 20 years?

Okay?

Okay. Okay.

Vargas.

Vargas! No, Vargas!

Vargas!

No! Please!

No! No!

I'm not sure that I understand.

It's almost like you're saying that monster hunters are the bad guys, which really doesn't make any sense, because since when are monsters the good guys?

Well, that all depends on who you think the monsters are.

Where the hell am I? What's that smell?

You.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God! What's wrong with my arm?

Dylan, what's wrong with my arm? What happened?

Relax. It's a loaner.

A loaner?

Yes. They were out of Caucasian in your size.

Out of... Are you listening to what you're saying?

My arm is brown!

And I'm not even married.

Marcus.

You are a zombie. Now pay attention.

Floor cleaner is your new deodorant.

Wisk takes the place of soap.

Green cleaner will keep your eyes from yellowing up, and bleach is for your teeth.

This is your new beauty regimen, and you can never take a day off.

You're a funny guy. You're a funny guy.

I've been telling you for years you had it in you.

You're just always so serious. I'm starving.

Marcus, no, you cannot eat that!

Marcus, I'm trying to help you.

I already started, and they are delicious.

So, I already know you're lying.

I'm like loving this.

Oh, God.

Marcus, this is the zombie buffet.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Can you just drive me to, like, a clinic?

And get me like a B-12 shot, or something to that effect?

Might make me feel... We don't have time for this.

You want me to show you your stomach again?

You're a zombie now. You either eat this or live human flesh.

You know that hungry feeling in your stomach?

It's only gonna grow worse if you don't eat. Then you rot and die.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

Okay, here's what we're gonna do.

I'm not gonna eat that.

And we're gonna forget that you suggested it, 'cause it's disgusting.

Ghouls.

Oh, my God.

Ghouls? And these ghouls would be?

Can we crack a window, please?

Funny. Dead guy joke. Everyone's a comedian. Jesus.

It's just that it smells so bad.

Maybe it's you. Maybe you smell. Ever think about that?

Ghouls are humans addicted to vampire blood.

Gives them incredible strength and perpetual youth.

Like vampires. Just, I've never seen it this popular before.

You're just making this shit up as you go, aren't you?

Take her back to the office. It's not safe here.

Well, what about you?

I'll be fine.

If I'm not back in an hour, call in a bomb scare.

There was only one way to get into Corpus House if you weren't a vampire.

And that was as ghoul addicted to their blood.

Luckily, I knew the game.

All I needed was proof.

Welcome to Corpus House.


My only lead was a teenage vamp who disappeared at Mara's place.

My options were running out, or always running away.

I'm looking for a friend of mine. Maybe you can help me out.

He's a Trueblood. About 5'7", early-20s-looking, thin.

Kind of looks like one of those shaved cats? You know?

Thanks a lot. You're a help.

You're requested upstairs.

And what if I don't wanna go?

Then we get to play squash with your balls.

And here I thought I wasn't gonna get lucky tonight.

You know what I'm talking about.

I saw you down there with that little...

Hey... Lookie here, hey! What's up, Dylan?

Welcome to Corpus House. I'm sorry, welcome back.

Have a seat. Take a load off. Can I get you a drink, a shot?

Hey, hey, hey, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't be rude.

Now, I know you and this building have a lot of history here, but I assure you, I don't want no kind of trouble.

Really?

Then what's this I hear about you spreading stories about me being a monster hunter?

Are you kidding? After what you did?

Oh, man. My only regret is that...

And I told them. I wanted to get you a fruit basket.

I mean, for real, if you hadn't killed off all those elders from back in the day, I'd be paying dues for like another century before getting the chance to run things around here.

And now look at me.

I'm king of the world!

So, thanks, pal.

Pal.

If we're such good friends, then why don't you tell me why one of your boys killed a werewolf and why a few more tried to kill a client of mine?

I'm sorry to hear that.

But, no, that's not one of my boys.

Well, then I guess you won't mind if I have a look around, you know, for old times' sake.

I mean, I don't know of any club owner that would agree to that.

I wasn't asking permission.

Take a look around you, Jack.

Things have changed. We don't need you anymore.

So, take some friendly advice from me and go back to spying on your Motel Sixes, or whatever it is that you do...

...and let me advance the race.

You're in on this, Vargas.

And when I can prove it, you'll be seeing me again.

But next time, I won't be so polite.

Like I always say, the secret to good detecting? Get lucky.

What's your problem?

I'd be careful if I were you. These are wood-tipped bullets.

"Theodore Cuff, 114 Avenue C."

What's your Trueblood name, Theodore?

Slake.

Tell me about Mara Cysnos.

I'm not telling you anything.

How long ago were you bitten, Teddy?

You don't look like you've been eternal more than 10 years.

It'd be a real shame to die so soon.

Bite me.

Why did you kill Mara?

And why were the Truebloods after her?

If you kill me, you'll never find it.

I'm the only one who knows where it is.

Is this what you're talking about? What is this?

Not very cool, Teddy. Not very cool.

Put him down.

What the hell are you?

See? That's just what this case needed.

A seven-foot tall, flesh-eating zombie.

Which begs the question, are there any actual people left in New Orleans?

So, you really don't know what happened between Dylan and those vampires?

No, you know, he doesn't really talk about it that much.

I think it may have something to do with his fiancée a few years ago.

She left him?

No, not exactly. She's...

Yikes. You look like crap.

Thanks, Mary Kay.

We've got a lead. Leave in 30 minutes.

Wait, what? Not you.

I just about died tonight. I need to know you're somewhere safe.

Well, what about me? Why do I have to go?

Because you're already dead.

I'm already dead.

Oh, my God! What have you done? I look like a dead hooker!

It was a shame Slake turned out to be a dead-end. Literally.

But at least his driver's license led me straight to his crummy apartment.

I was hoping we'd find the cross, or at least a clue.

Yeah, you should trash the place. That's good.

'Cause, you know, Slake won't mind.

Oh, man.

I didn't know Apple made coffins.

Hey, I thought vampires didn't show up on film.

No, it's mirrors they've got no reflection in. They photograph just fine.

Let me see.

It's Mara, the dead werewolf.

She was dating a vampire.

That's a new one.

We've gotta go to a funeral.

You haven't eaten yet, have you?

Maybe I'm just sick. Maybe I'm just really sick!

Did you ever think about that, Dylan?

'Cause I'm pretty sure my HMO is not gonna cover this.

You need to fix this, all right?

I'm pretty sure my insurance policy isn't a zombie plan, all right?

You need to fix this!

You shot me!

Oh, my God, Dylan, why would you do that? I'm hit!

I'm hit.

This doesn't hurt.

Marcus? You are dead.

Now, you can pity yourself and die a slow, miserable death.

Or you can define yourself as you want to.

But I can't make that decision for you.

Well, you didn't have to shoot me.

Seeing Gabriel at his daughter's funeral was hard enough.

But accusing her and her vampire boyfriend of murder, might have been what some call "bad" manners.

I knew Gabriel would shoot me straight, or kill me.

Maybe both.

They say if you live long enough, you live to see everything.

This is one sight I wished they had spared me.

I'm sorry about Mara, Gabriel.

I truly am.

But I need answers.

That vampire boy came to me, pleading for his life.

Told me everything about his relationship with Mara.

Everything.

He didn't kill my daughter.

Gabriel, we've known each other a long time.

What is it that you're hiding from me?

What does it have to do with this?

I didn't know they would do that.

The idealism of youth, I suppose.

Thinking they could bring peace to centuries of war by stealing a trinket.

They didn't know it would awaken a sleeping beast.

So much bloodshed. And for what?

Wait, what beast are you...

It's our matter to deal with, not yours.

It's too late. I'm in it now.

When I get to the bottom of this, someone is gonna pay.

I hope that it won't be you.

Gabriel was a dead-end.

Or maybe he was just trying to protect me from his daughter's fate.

What the hell are you doing?

I was just...

She's very beautiful.

She was.

What happened?

I mean, you don't need to tell me.

I just thought you might want to.

When I came home that night, I could sense that something was wrong.

The apartment just felt colder.

I headed straight to Corpus House.

I knew. I just knew it was them.

And when I saw her lying there on the floor,

I lost it.

Nothing was gonna stop me until I made them all pay.

And they did.

All of them.

They took something precious from both of us.


I can't.

Three deluxe cheeseburgers with extra cheese and bacon and jalapenos and mushrooms and onions.

Some cheesy fries...

...some deep-fried cheesy strings...

...and Diet Coke.

Right.

I got you.

Hey, Tommy! Let me get a number nine!

What's a number nine?

Exactly, dude.

Exactly.

Number nine. It's up.

What the hell is this? This is not what I ordered.

A worm-meal and a larva patty.

A warm cup of motor oil. And a complimentary hot dog.

Why is there a hot dog?

Not hot dogs! Not hot dogs!

That's so disgusting!

Do you have any idea how many hot dogs I ate as a child?

You know what? I'm not gonna do it.

I'm not gonna do it! Forget it! Forget it!

Why don't you just take your cataracts and your weird face pustule and your bleeding gums and your ass breath, and you go die with some dignity, like I intend to do.

Good day, sir.

You shouldn't treat them like that.

He's a person, too, you know. You know what?

Sweetheart, I don't think you understand what you're talking about, okay?

Yeah. I think I do.

Here.

Oh, no. Is this some kind of, like, religious thing?

Just read it.

Is this a zombie support group?

And you should totally come by.

It's just a bunch of us getting together and talking.

Trust me. It helps.

I needed answers from an old friend. A really old friend.

Borelli was bat-shit crazy, but let's see you when you're 800 years old.

I always like you, Dylan.

Yeah, yeah.

Life is wasted on the mortal.

And other women?

You never change, do you?

Dylan, look at me.

Centuries on this earth, and still I cannot find a wife to live past 98.

Handsome young man. You'll find another.

Yeah, well, not like Cassandra.

How very true.

This really takes me back.

Dante.

I tell you something, that man could drink.

So, what do I owe the honour?

What do you know about this?

It's nothing. Old ghost story.

Borelli, I need to know.

People are dying because of this.

What is it?

You tell no one that I told you this, okay?

It is called the Heart of Belial.

And it's been missing for centuries.

Five thousand years ago, Belial walked the earth.

It was the most powerful of the dead.

He brought darkness and death upon the whole world.

It is called the Heart of Belial, because inside the Heart is the blood of Belial.

Belial cannot be destroyed, only contained.

The myth says that on the night of the full moon, Belial can be created again.

All the creator needs is the Heart and a host.

A host?

A body, one of the undead.

The Heart of Belial injects the blood into the host.

Once that happens, the host is doomed.

Belial lives again, answerable only to his creator.

What the creator hates, Belial hates.

What the creator seeks to destroy, Belial destroys.

But, in order to destroy Belial, you must first kill his master.

It's a, how do you say, symbiotic relationship.

Their souls are inseparably bonded together.

Great.

Dylan, 400 years ago, the Heart was stolen.

This symbol is the crest of the last great monstro venatorum.

They found the Heart and planned to use it to wipe out all the undead.

But the hunters themselves were massacred before they could use it.

The legend says a werewolf family was entrusted to hide the Heart over the centuries, and to keep its secret.

Gabriel.

I called, to rendezvous at Cysnos Plant.

I was hoping Gabriel would stay clear of this.

But my gut knew this wasn't gonna end well.

What the hell happened? What's wrong? Is it bad?

It's worse.

Search for others. Hurry.

Gabriel.

There is not much time.

Please, tell them that Slake told me the Heart...

Dylan, there's nobody.

...Sclavi.

You must find Sclavi.

What did that to him?

Same thing that killed you and Mara.

Wait. The zombie? The big zombie?

Sclavi.

I gotta check something out.

Call Wolfgang. Make sure you're not around when he gets here.

Yeah.

Hi. I don't really know what to say.

I guess I'm Marcus.

And I'm...

I'm dead.

Hi, Marcus.

Hey, everybody.

So, yeah. So, it's been a rough adjustment.

You know, the smell, the diet, the whole...

...things-falling-off-of-you thing.

Yeah, this guy knows what I'm talking about.

You get used to it. No, I won't.

But right now I have a big problem.

Okay? I'm looking for a zombie.

I'm looking for a massive zombie.

And he's bigger and stronger than anything...

...I've ever seen. And he's a killer.

We thought those were just rumours.

They say he lives in the abandoned power building outside of town.

In the forbidden ward.

Marcus, you have to be careful.

There's no room for heroes in the world of zombies.

Believe me.

We come from a long and proud history of being cowards.

Marcus?

Marcus?

If I'm not back in an hour, call in a bomb scare.

Hey.

Hey.

You really don't know anything else about this?

No, I mean, it was stolen from my father.

Right, well, it was never his to begin with.

I mean, it belonged to the Werewolves.

Your father had to have known that this wasn't just some goddamned heirloom for sale.

Mara killed him to get it back. That's...

But you said the vampires were behind this.

Not exactly.

Mara gave the Heart to her vampire boyfriend, Slake, who hid it.

And when Mara was killed, he told the one person that he could trust where it was, Gabriel.

Now all three of them are dead.

Does the word "Sclavi" mean anything to you?

No.

I have been pointing the finger at Gabriel, my oldest friend.

A man of honour.

Now he's dead.

Crossing the line? Yeah, perhaps.

But I'm not exactly billing her for it.

I knew Elizabeth was still in danger.

Being caught up in a world where you don't belong isn't natural.

I was well aware of that at one time. And so was Cassandra.

Morning.

Good morning.

This is a talisman.

As long as you're wearing it, vampires can't touch you.

You'll be safe.

Thank you.

Dylan. You are not gonna believe what I.

Hi, Elizabeth.

You're...

I shouldn't have barged in. I'm just not used to you...

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I just...

I guess we could just talk about the location of the flesh-eating zombie when you guys are done...

...boning.

I'm gonna go. I'm really sorry.

Marcus. Come back, Marcus.

So, you and Elizabeth?

I think it's great.

She seems really sweet. She seems to like you, you seem to like her.

It's great. You gotta move on, right?

I mean, it's you know... It's been some time.

And you gotta kind of just do what the heart...

Shut up, or I'm gonna shoot you again.

The big zombie was the key.

I just didn't know how he fit into all this.

This place is like a maze, Dylan. You know your way around here?

Yeah, a little bit. Came with the job.

The zombies turned it into a penal colony a few years ago.

They banish the ones who become too dangerous or too decayed.

Only the strongest survive. And the others get eaten.

"The others get eaten"?

You mean, like, cannibal zombies?

Duck. What?

Duck.

What the hell was that?

Dum-dums. Zombie Stoppers.

Cute.

Sorry. Come on, we gotta go.

Oh, my God. Wait, Dylan.

If I ever get like that, you'll...

Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Oh, you'll take care of it.

Good, that's great. Thanks, Kevorkian.

So, looks like there's no zombies down here, so that's gotta be a good thing, right?

Not exactly.

This place is more overcrowded than Riker's Island.

If there are no zombies here, it's because they're afraid of something.

Great.

I'm going down.

You're going down? You're going down there...

...with the skulls and the bones and the cannibal zombies?

Okay, I'm gonna stay up here.

I'll Keep watch, 'cause I haven't gone bananas.

Yet.

Definitely a flesh-eater.

What are you looking at?

Vampire blood from Corpus House.

Someone's been controlling it.

Dylan?

You okay?


I'm sorry.

Oh, my God!

Dylan!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Dylan, get me up!

Dylan! Dylan!

What are you doing up there? Oh, they're filthy! They're filthy!

Dylan!

Dylan! Hurry up! They're gonna eat me!

Stop! I'm one of you! I'm one of you!

Oh, my God, they're touching me! They're touching me!

They're cold and they're wet and they're touching me!

Dylan, please! Dylan!

Marcus.

You're my hero.

What are those?

Wooden bullets.

What are the wooden bullets for?

Think about it.

Who's had all the opportunity in the world to know about the Heart?

Who's been following me, probably since I took this case?

And who has everything to gain from wiping out all the undead?

I'm gonna guess someone who doesn't like wooden bullets?

Vargas has been in on this since the start.

Vargas.

So, what's the plan?

No plan.

Just bigger guns.


Open those.


Dylan.

What is your problem?

What is my problem?

I told you that I'd be back.

No!

What's wrong, you don't like the sunlight?

Maybe you can help me with something. Where's the Heart?

What?

What are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about.

Wrong answer, bloodsucker.

You're killing him! I know.

Okay, all right! Okay, stop it!

Okay. Yes. I had my people looking for the Heart.

But can you blame me?

The thing is, it's a nuclear bomb, man.

Whoever controls Belial...

...controls the world.

What is "Sclavi"?

Sclavi? What do you mean, Sclavi?

Okay, okay, I was just kidding, I was just kidding.

Sclavi, okay. Sclavi is a vampire.

One of the elders that helped build Corpus House. All right?

And where would I find him?

He's a sleeper.

He's a sleeper. Why do you even care?

Okay, just leave me alone.

I got pus all over my sheets.

Maybe you should get some vitamin E. We'll be back in a little bit.

Yeah, and some, like, healing aloe!

We've got half an hour before the sun sets. Let's move.

Well, where are we going?

He said Sclavi was a sleeper.

This is where they keep their relatives.

Sort of like a retirement home.

In a crummy shipyard?

Well, would you have thought to look here?

So, what are these crazy symbols everywhere?

They're vampire blood types. Each family has its own type.

What's that?

Vampire blood.

Thought so.

"Sergio."

"Sclavi." Here he is.

There's the Heart.

Oh, my God.

Looks like my grandfather on prom night.

They're sleeping.

Sorry.

Oh, Jesus.

I'm not gonna grab that. Are you kidding me?

Look, he's got a death grip on it, literally.

Your limbs are replaceable.

Yeah, we already replaced one. It was great for me. Remember that?

Fine.

You're a detective. Just, you can get it.

Just be careful when you do it, okay? Don't just grab it, okay.

Yeah.

Tenderly, okay?

Okay.

Oh, my God! Dylan, oh, my God! Run and save yourself!

What happened?

I guess you'll never know.

I'm not built for this, man. I'm not built for this.

I think I just leaked something. Oh, my God.

You know, for someone who thinks he's pretty smart, I certainly get the crap kicked out of me a lot.

Oh, crap.

Dearly beloved, We have gathered here tonight to pay our finial respects to Dylan, a breather who didn't have enough good sense to keep his dumb ass retired.

Please, don't interrupt the eulogy.

I'll have you all know that I've been crafting that for quite some time now.

But recent events have overshadowed my prepared remarks.

I mean, what can I say about a man who...

...not only killed off all of my Corpus House competition back in the day but also brought...

I'm sorry, I told myself that I wouldn't cry.

He also brought us the Heart of Belial.

I mean, sure, we've had some tough moments, some ups and downs...

...but time heals most wounds.

And if the rest of your life weren't so regrettably brief, you would see that I am a really fast healer.

Let go of me.

Oh, I almost forgot. I love surprises. Here, bring her up.

Guess who we found in your shitty-ass little office? Come here.

You little dog, you. Freaky-deaky.

Why do you always pick the prettiest girls?

I swear, if I didn't need a vessel to turn into Belial, she would...

You, young lady, would make a great addition to my little clan.

Mix it up a bit? Get away from me. Go on, take her.

You know, she kind of reminds me of Cassandra.

Right? Yeah, I knew you were thinking it.

She was a fighter. Yeah.

And you know what?

It made her blood taste just a little bit sweeter.

Easy. You calm down.

Come on, how else was I supposed to get rid of all those old bastards?

You did the work for me, Quick-Draw.

I swear.

You humans, you're predictable to a fault.

You pull one string, a leg moves.

You pull another, you pull out a gun.

It's pathetic.

I'm gonna kill you.

Okay.

Me first.

Vargas!


Well, this is a setback.

Dylan? I feel like I've been stepped on.

Dylan? Where the hell are we? Where are we?

We're in a crypt.

We're in a crypt?

What are we doing in a crypt? Are you kidding me?

Dylan. Dylan!

Oh, my God, I need to call someone.

Just hold on, just don't panic, all right?

Just calm down. Calm down! Stop.

911, what's your emergency?

Hello? Hello.

Yes, yes. We're trapped in a crypt. We're trapped in a crypt.

And I don't know where it is, but it's dark, and it's cold, and it smells like shit!

Can you give me your location?

And I'm trapped down here with my friend.

And he doesn't know where we are, and he's really scared.

He's really scared, and I'm trying to keep him...

I'm sorry, you're breaking up. Can you hear me?

"More bars guaranteed," my undead ass!

Dylan! Dylan! Marcus!

Marcus! No! What?!

Be quiet, please.

Listen, Dylan, I'm just trying to think. All right?

What, what is it?

Little-known fact. Zombies are actually world-class diggers.

Dylan, are you implying that I dig us out of the dark, scary crypt?

Bingo.

No. Nope, no. Not gonna happen. Not.

Hey, hey, big guy! Big guy! Big guy! No, it's not happening.

No, no, no, no, no, no! No, no, no!

Dylan, no!

I hate you.


That's not bad, actually.

Who's your go-to guy now?

Not bad for a zombie.

Shit.

What?

She wasn't wearing the talisman.

We're gonna save her. I mean, we're on our way. We're going.

She's not the one I'm worried about.

What's the matter, pumpkin?

Why the long face?

Don't worry, I'm not gonna kill you.

As a matter of fact, you're gonna live forever.

Yeah, see, if the myths of Belial are true, you may even outlive me.

But not before you've brought every undead race down to their knees before me.

Who knows, maybe the living, too.

On, yeah. We're making you one of us, if only for a brief moment.

See, only the undead can become Belial.

I know, I know... I didn't make up the rules.

I have a confession to make.

I'm probably going to enjoy this.

Mors tua, vita mea.

I'm sorry?

It's an old family saying.

It means, "Your death is my life."

Sassy!


Where is the Heart?

It was Elizabeth the entire time.

She was the one controlling the tattooed zombie, and she was the one who had to kill Gabriel, Slake, and you.

All of them? I knew it.

She's a monster hunter, just like her father.

Hey, should I have a gun? I should have a gun, right?

Looks like she's trying to fulfil her legacy.

Call Wolfgang. Tell him to bring in the cavalry.

Come on.

Stop! Don't do it, Elizabeth.

I knew that you were the only one who would find it for me, Dylan.

You of all people should understand what I'm doing.

You should understand why.

Oh, I understand why.

But this revenge, or whatever it is, is not the answer.

This has nothing to do with my father being murdered.

This is much bigger than that. We are the good guys.

By slaughtering millions of innocent undead?

No, that's where you're wrong, Elizabeth.

We're the good guys. And you're the monster.

I wish that I could make you understand.

No, don't!

Come on!

No!

Great.

Oh, my God.


Hang on, Dylan!

Dylan!

Not so fast! Stay away from him!

Stop it! Marcus!?

Elizabeth!?

Marcus, seriously.

Hey!

Zombie power, bitch.


Stop! You answer to me.

Our enemies are the monsters outside these walls, not here.

I am your master!


Well, what do we got here?

Monster hunter in over her head?

You think you can wipe us all out with your pet monster?

Well, guess what, piglet. We're still here.

And now, it's dying time.


Man.

We're so discussing a raise.

Good work, Dylan.

A lot of people died for this.

I need someone I can trust to hold onto it.

I'm sorry about your father.

He was a good man.

I wouldn't count my father out that fast.

Why don't you come down to the plant sometime?

But this time, leave the silver at home.

Yeah.

Let's go.

You all right? You look like hell.

Yeah.

Next time, I pick the clients, okay?

Hey. I feel like I have something in my eye.

Do I have something in my eyes?

No.

It's fine? Yeah.

I can't... It feels weird.

Call us a cab.

Okay. Here.

Just do it, please. Thank you.

You know what? Let me... I'll throw that away. Let me, I'll get that.

It's all right.

You know, I'm gonna hang onto it for a little while, actually.

I need to get some more copies for my partner.

Okay, I'll take care of that? Sure.

I'll get right on it.

Wait, partner? Oh, my God, Dylan? Did you just say "partner"?

I mean, by partner, I assume you're talking...

Of course you're talking about me.

Oh, my God, man! Oh, this is great!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't mean...

I know you're in pain. I'm sorry.

If I had another arm right now, I would hug you.

And, you know, we'll get you, get you a new arm. Fresh eyes.

You know what? This arm? Actually I'm kind of starting to dig it.

Smells like Old Spice. Reminds me of my dad.

Wait, eyes? What are you talking about?

You'll see.

Come on. I'll buy you a hot dog.

I ate a worm tonight. Not so bad. Pretty good, actually.