Eat with Me (2014) Script

What's wrong?

This is killing me.

What is?

What are you doing?

Is that your ring?

That feels so much better.

It was giving me such a headache.

Go back to bed.

Excuse me!

Hi. I'll be right with you.

Wait, why is this still here?

Sorry, boss.



What are you doing here?

What happened?

Nothing happened.

You look skinny.

Are you eating okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Why are there so few people here?

Slow night.

I should let you go back to work.

What's all this stuff?

Can I stay with you for a little while?


What happened?

Well, nothing happened.

Is it okay? I mean, I promise I won't be in your way.

Ah, I guess.

Yeah, of course.

You should get back to work.

I'll just wait here.

You hungry?


Have a seat.

I'll fix you something.


Is that your mom?



Try the only Asian here.


You know?

I always pictured her a little different.

Different how?

Well, I don't see the horns or the tail, so she already doesnt match your description.

Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little bit.

She's just a little intense.


Here you go.


Hey, Dad?

Mom's here.

So you bought this place, huh?

That's right.

You have a big mortgage to pay?


You don't clean very much, do you?

How can you live like this?

Did you get robbed?

Yeah, and they just raided the fridge.

Then what do you eat?

I eat at the restaurant.

So you're a cook but you don't cook.

How can you eat that stuff at the restaurant?

No wonder you don't look very good.

Mom, everything is fine. It's all fine.

I'm gonna go get your bedroom ready.

Where are you gonna sleep?

I'll sleep on the couch.

I'll sleep on the couch.

Let's not fight about this too.

I'll take the couch.

I just don't want to put you out.

It's fine. Just give me a couple minutes.

Are these egg whites?


Doesn't taste like it.

Trying to kill me with cholesterol?

Are you going to get a new ring?

What for?

It was giving me a headache.

The ring?

That's what I just said.

Cut it out.

That's enough.

♪ Come on, Come on ♪

♪ What'd you call me ♪

♪ Oh hell no Oh hell no ♪

♪ Look again, ooh ♪

♪ Oh, hell no ♪

♪ Oh, hell no ♪

♪ Break it down, ooh, oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh, get low ♪

♪ Get high, get, get, get high... ♪ Shut the fuck up.


Mom, what are you doing?

Oh my God.

You didn't have anything in your fridge, so I went to the store.

I don't know what you like anymore, so I made a little bit of everything.

I gotta go to work soon.

Eat something.

How is it?


Do you eat at home like this every day?


We only eat oatmeal and egg whites.


You know how your dad is.

He likes to play doctor to himself.

He thinks he knows everything.

Well, you don't have to do that here, Mom.

I'm not Dad.

Okay, I gotta get to work.

Take something with you.

It's just around the corner, sweet pea.

Oh, thanks.

Uh, hey.




So what brings you to your... to Elliot?

I'm just visiting.


What about his dad? Did he not want to come?


Oh. Oh, wow. Okay. I should go in.

Im sorry. I'm too nosy. I've always been this way.

You know what? You'll come over sometime.

I'll make you a chi-chi drink and we'll discuss.

A what?

Like a Margarita, Martini, Mai Tai.

Oh, I don't drink.

Oh, I'm sorry.

We're gonna have to fix that.

So how's your mom?

She's fine, I guess.

Interesting, so she can stay there, but I can't give birth there?

I see how it is.

You wanted to give a water birth in my tub!

Okay, I'll make you a deal:

If that's why my mom is here, you can move in anytime.

So is she leaving your dad?

How would I know?

You need to ask her.

That poor lady came all the way out here for a reason.

And trust me, it's not your food.

Where are you going?

I'm just gonna get some air.

Can you watch the place till I get back?

What do you think I've been doing?

Glad you called.

That was a nice surprise.

So you said you're a cook huh?


What kind of food is it again?



What? It's just... it's just a little greasy.

That's bullshit.


How about you come down to the restaurant tonight, and I'll prove you wrong.

Thanks. That'd be great, but...

but I can't tonight.

What, you got a hot date or something?

Oh. Right.

Is that weird?


You know we never said we were exclusive.

Yeah. No, I get it.

Okay, good.

I think I'm gonna go.

You sure you're alright?


I'll see you later.

All right, I'll see you later.

Hello? Hey.

Hey, hey. Oh, hey.

I was wondering, can I borrow some toilet paper?

I'm sorry?

I know I should've gone out and gotten some myself, but it's kind of an emergency.

That's fine. One second.


Oh, hey. Thank you.

I will bring it back in a minute.

No, that's okay. Just keep it.

Oh, great.

So you just found out, huh?




I should not have just said that.

I should not have said anything.

I'm sorry. No, that's okay.

I've known for a while now.

You have?

Well, then what's with all the boozing and oozing?

I thought you didn't drink.

I dont.

Everything's changed now.

What do you mean?

He doesn't talk to me anymore.

He used to.

But then he told me that he was...


Then what?

He stopped talking to me.

I mean, did you disown him or something?


I just didn't take it very well.

What's your problem?

I don't know.

I mean, I heard about those people on the news, but I never thought in a million years that...

Wait, "those people"?


Look, I have to actually really... I have to go, so-

Oh, of course, sorry. Go.

Thank you again.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Will you please take care of your alcoholic mother?

She is a mess.

What is she talking about?

I see you're making new friends.

What did you do in here?

I just cleaned up a little bit.

I told you, you dont have to do that here, Mom.

I had a system.

What system?

So she wasn't joking, huh?

Don't you get rashes when you drink?

You hungry?


Okay, come on, let's go.

Thank you, Maria.

They have the best tacos in the city.

They're messy.



Not bad at all.

Whoa, Mom, that's enough.

I can't believe this.


You, me, eating tacos on the sidewalk.

Talk to Dad yet?

I told him you're here.

I never thought I could actually eat from a truck.

It feels so dirty.

I mean, who knows how they made their food?

I read those magazines that you have on the table.


Do you have...?

Are you...?


Do you have a friend?

Yeah, I've got lots of friends.

You mean a boyfriend?

Never mind.



Oh man, this again?

What's the problem?

No problem. It's just meh.

You're welcome to cook for us anytime.

I don't mind it.

I just wish you'd make something fun once in a while, you know?


Yeah, like the food truck guys.

They mix all different kinds of cuisines together, and you can eat it on the sidewalk... fun, you know?

Yeah, yeah, like the grilled cheese or the Korean tacos or the... ooh, the lobster roll.

We're not that kind of restaurant.

Oh, the kind that makes money?

Yo, yo, yo, what's up?

What are you up to?

Nothing. Just cleaning the house.

Oh for fuck's sake.

First you're cleaning your husband's house, now you're cleaning your son's apartment?

Don't you have anything better to do?

You know what? You're coming to my class.

What class?

You'll see.

Drop the garbage.

Yeah, Pm really sorry. It's been really slow this week.

Next month for sure.

This is it. This is your final chance right now.

Okay. You've got one month.


Hey, no smoking.


What the hell was that?

Fucking banker.

Do we owe them money?


Like, how much?

Six months of mortgage.

What'? Six months?

I was gonna pay it off this week.

So that's how much?

Are they gonna close us down?

I don't know.


Five, six, seven, eight.

All right, arms. Here we go.

Snap there, snap.

Whoo! Let me hear you!


Double time, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Arms, snap it, snap it. Mean it. Boom!

Reach for the stars. And boom! That's right. Boom!

Or your ex-husbands new girlfriend's face.

Oh! Oh! Come on now.

What's happening here? What's happening?

Something's happening here. Something's happening here.

Keep on moving. That's right.

Love it.

Boom, and boom. Boom.

And I want your legs out. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

Here comes the booty shake. Arms up.

Booty shake. Booty shake.

That butt's not gonna shake itself.

Slow it down. Slow it down. I'm shaking it.

Slow it down.

I found these in his jacket yesterday.

Why are you carrying them around in your purse?

Do you think he's promiscuous?

I don't know. Do you?

I don't know.

I wouldn't know how to ask him. I don't want to embarrass him.

Why are you such a prude?

I'm not.


I just think there are certain things that we don't need to talk about.

Well, then why are you so obsessed with his sex life?

I'm just worried about him.

What, that he's having fun?

No, that he's being safe.

Well, now at least you know he is.

Or he was, until you stole his condoms.

Listen, I used to have a very healthy sex life...

I mean, a very, very healthy sex life, you know?

It was back in the day when everyone was doing somebody.

I got a lot of attention, you know.

That's why I couldn't stay married.

You were married?

Yeah, once.

What happened?

I feel like my body actually physically rejected it.

It was like I would get these rashes, you know?

I mean, I think it's inhumane to make someone stick with one tree when there's a huge forest out there... huge.

Oh, you're giving me a headache.


If your son is getting laid a lot, that means he's happy.

Don't you wish you could say the same thing about yourself?

I'm happy.

You are?

Why is this about me now?

Because it's never really about you, is it?

But it isn't.

That's my point exactly.

I'm Ian.


Can I bum one?



You got a lighter?


Do you live around here?


What do you do?

I cook at a restaurant. Wow. Brilliant.

What do you do?

I'm in the band.

Oh, yeah.

Look, we don't have to do all this if you don't want to.


I get it. You're not into it. It's okay.

What do you mean?

Look at you. You're physically moving away from me right now.

We could just walk away like nothing's happened.

I'm not normally that guy, but I can do it.


Or we can just talk like two adults.


It's okay.


Thank you. Thanks.

Hey, I gotta tell you, I had a weird dream last night.

I dreamt that I was finally in labor, so I was so excited.

But then it lasted for hours and hours and I was in so much pain.

And then the baby finally came out, and...

And what?

And it was you.

What are you talking about?

It's true... your face, your body, your clothes all drenched in blood and gooey and stuff.

Oh, what's wrong with you?

I know. It was horrible.

Oh, now I have this image of your gooey vagina in my head.

Well, in my dream, the moment I saw your face, I was so horrified that I threw you across the room.

And then you got splooshed on the wall, and then you started dripping down.

That's disgusting.

I know.

Look, it's just a stupid dream.

But I couldn't stop thinking about it.

It just made me realize I can't let that happen.

Let what happen?

Look, Elliot.

Tom left when I got pregnant because he couldn't deal.

But I dealt with it.

I'm taking care of myself and soon I'll need to take care of this baby.

I can't take care of you too.

Don't worry.

I'll think of something.



Are you okay?


Don't you have to go to work?


Can I ask you a favor?

Yeah. What?

Can you show me how to make those dumplings you used to make at home?

Yeah, sure.

Is that how you pinch it?

Yeah. Why? What do you mean?

Oh, you have to pinch like this.

How's that different?

That way it doesn't open up when you cook it.

You really think people are gonna like these dumplings?

It's not too old-fashioned?

Yeah. Who doesn't like dumplings?

That's true.

You really do need a better menu.

I can't believe people eat that stuff you make.

You know, you're really hard to please.

That's not true.

I am very easygoing.

Yeah, you're right.

Hey, it's Elliot.

Yeah, me too.

. Hey-. Hey-

The door was open.

Yeah, come on in.

I want you to try something.

Oh, okay.

Oh, careful, it's hot.

Too late.

Wow, this is really good.


Mm-mm, the whole glass.


Trust me. It's gonna help you relax.

Happy? Much better.

Do you want to try?


Like that.


I take it you've never done this before.

Actually I can bake some pretty damn good cookies.


Oh, fuck off.

Actually I don't know how to bake at all.

Missing some kind of gene for that.

Well, if you're lucky, maybe one day I'll show you how.

You'll get it.


I'm gonna pick some things up.


Okay, I'm gonna go.

Would you like some tea?


It's open.


Oh, hey, it's you. What are you doing?

Oh, nothing. Just seeing what you're doing.

I was just about to sit down for some dinner.

Come on in. I'll make you a plate.

Oh, are you sure?

Of course. Where's Elliot?

I don't know. I think at the restaurant.

Alright, I'll be right down.

Thank you. That was really delicious.


What? Are you all right?

Yeah, yeah. I just...


I don't know.

It's just a bit unexpected, is all.

What is?

I really like you.

Oh. I... I just don't know.


I mean, I have a lot of fun with you.



I think I should probably go.

So this husband of yours... what's his problem?

Did he hit you?


Did he cheat on you?


I don't think so.


Did you cheat on him?


All right, I'm just asking. You don't know until you ask.

I don't know what his deal is.

My ex... oh, he was so amazingly handsome.

He was tall and had this great chest with hair just long enough you can grab on to.

You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, well... no, no, let me.

He was friendly, he was funny and smart and charming and generous.

We were married for a year, and then one day I just couldn't take it anymore, and I left.

Yeah, I was just suffocated with all the attention.

So I divorced him after that.

You divorced him because he was too good to you?

Well, when you put it that way...


I decided that I didn't want anything from anyone.

Wow, that's very bizarre.

No, it's not that bizarre.

Because if you want something, you have to give up everything else that you don't want.

And then what happens when you want that stuff you gave up?

Well, too late.

You picked this want, and now those are... this want's here, and the rest... it made more sense in my head.

There's this bakery on his way to work, really cute.

We used to go there all the time before Elliot was born, because I love sweets.

Now we have high cholesterol and we can't eat that stuff anymore.

But every now and then I would ask him to bring me something back from there as a treat.

It's just comforting to know that he thinks about me, even if it's an obligation.

I can take his craziness if I know he still cares.

You are... you're ridiculous.


Because you're trying to force yourself to believe in something that you don't even believe in.

But what do I have if I don't believe in anything?


You just discovered why people drink.

I'm so tired.

Didn't you just get here?

I've been here for two hours, cleaning out the front.

Thanks for noticing.


You want to check out the new menu?



Ginger and pork, chicken and Thai basil?

Elliot, I didn't think you had it in you.

Just want to try something different.

I like it.

Who was that?


Knock it off.

Okay, knock it off.

I met someone, all right?

He came here last night.

Doing what?


Okay, I made him dinner.

You did?

What does he want now?

His band is playing down the street tonight.

What time'? I'm coming along.

No. No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

You came, Hi.

Aren't you supposed to be on stage?

Yeah, we're just taking a quick break.


Hi, I'm Ian.

Oh, yeah, this is Jenny.

Nice to meet you.

Wow, you're really pregnant.

Aww, thanks. It's his.


Just kidding.

You were great up there.

Thank you. We had a lot of fun.

I'm really glad that you came.

I gotta pee.

This kid is sitting right on my bladder.

So I guess I freaked you out a little bit the other night.

No, no.

Yeah. Yeah, I think I did.

Okay, maybe a little.

Have you dated anyone before?

Yeah, here and there.

Oh okay. So what's your longest?

One year?

Six months?

Three months?

One month?


Well, how come?

Oh, I'm sorry, am I getting too personal?


I just always believed that something would just happen to me.

But it just hasn't happened.

Well, maybe what I said the other night was a bit impulsive.

I felt something and just went with it, you know?

But we don't have to move fast...

Hey, I felt it too.

Oh, shit. That's me. I've got to get back on.

Stick around, all right?

Lunch special, $4.99.

Brand-new menu! Dumpling, dumpling, dumpling!

Do you think people can hear me?

I think the whole street could hear you if there was anybody on it.

Take a break, you guys.

How is this supposed to help us pay the mortgage again?

I was hoping there'd be at least a couple people.

Maybe if I'm louder.

Lunch special!

This is not gonna work.


Emma, why are you moving around so much?

I have a headache. Do you have any Aspirin?

Yeah, on the kitchen counter.

Oh, no, no, no, no. What?

Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out.

You're crazy. Spit it out. Spit it out.

I already swallowed it. Oh my... oh my God.


Do you know what you just took?

Aspirin. No, no, no.

You took my happy pills.

What are happy pills? My happy pills.

It's ecstasy. It's moon rock, Molly.

I don't know what the kids are calling it.

You mean drugs? Yes, drugs.

Are you joking? No, I'm not joking.

You gave me drugs?

I didn't give you drugs. You took drugs.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know. It was in the Aspirin... it's been there for so long, I forgot it was there.

You put drugs in your Aspirin bottle?

I don't know where else to put it.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine.

No, I am not gonna be fine! I'm gonna die!

I can see the end of my life right now!

That was not necessary.

What's gonna happen to me?

I will tell you. I will tell you what's gonna happen to you.

You are going to feel relaxed and then happy for a little while.

For how long?

Not very long.

Everything is gonna be fine.

You just calm down. Relax, okay?

I'm here. I'm with you. Everything's gonna be okay.

You have to take one with me.

What? I can't do this alone.

You need to take one too. No, no, I'm not taking one.

That's ridiculous. I have to be sober to guide you through your journey.

Please. Please. No, not please.

Take one with me. I'm not taking one.

That's ridiculous. Take the pill!

Wow, you really turned into a monster.

What have I done?

Well, this is probably the dumbest thing I've ever done, other than getting married.


Hey, what are you doing here?

I want to show you something.

What is it?

You'll see. Come on.

You know, I don't know if this is...

Trust me. It'll be fun. Come on.

So when will I feel something?

It depends. Half hour, maybe an hour.

How long will it last?

Unfortunately forever.

I'm kidding. Would you please just relax?

I feel cold.

Is that it? No.

I feel an itch on my back. Is that it?


How about an itch on my leg?

An itch on your leg? Oh my... no, that's not it.

So this is it? This is howl go?

Okay, this is not working.

You know what? Let's go somewhere.

Are you kidding? No, no, no, no, no, no.

I am not leaving this place, ever.

Okay. All right.

I cannot be seen in public like this.

I heard you. I heard you.

Hold on. I'm putting on some music.

There we go.

Here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go now. Here we go now.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

What is this?

Dessert night. Come on.

Okay, what we are doing tonight is a chocolate ganache with raspberry tart.

It's very simple. It's yummy and it's good to share.

I want everybody to drink some wine.

That will help you relax and make this a fun night.

You can pull it with your fingers so it doesn't break.

And you want to try give it a shape, as the shape of your tart.

If it's round, make it round.

Do not give me a square, okay?

Let it sit right there.

The whole glass.

Oh, somebody knows.

As much as you want. This is your tart.

We have the ganache that we just made, still hot.

Pour it over.

That looks good.

Shake it, shake it, shake it.

Yeah that's good.

Very good.

We have some fresh raspberry since we're doing raspberry jam inside.


Is that what we're doing?

Do you want more? Yes, yes, yes.

We're ready to eat. That's the best part.

Can you taste the difference... the jam, the raspberry and the ganache?

This music feels so good.

Right'? I told you.

I wish I knew how to dance.

Oh, you're... look at you.

You're, you know... you're dancing, you know.



Oh, you just got there, didn't you?

Oh, yay! You just... welcome.

Come here. Welcome. You just got there.

I am so glad that you are my friend.

I'm sorry I yelled at you. No, no, no, no, no.

This is just the most insane thing I've ever done.

I know. Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

I know.

You know, I've been thinking about him.



Oh my gosh, your husband?

Yeah. I don't know why.

I mean, he's your husband. That's gotta be something.

I know, but he used to make me so angry, you know?

He was always like...

I wonder if you saw him now, he would still make you...

"Oh I want to... you're making me so mad!"

No, don't. No, negative thought.

Change it. Change the thought.

We're high as fuck.

He's not a bad guy.

He's not, you know.

He's the father of my son and he's always gonna be a part of me.

Oh, my... yes, yes.

But I just wish that he wasn't such an asshole.

I wish Elliot was here.

Oh, I love Elliot.

I'm gonna call him. Oh, no, no, no.

Text him.



You don't know how to text, do you?

I'll do it for you. I'll do it for you.

Thank you so much.

You're very welcome. Did you have fun?

Yeah, great time. Absolutely.

Okay, great. I'll just wrap these two for you to take home.

Thank you. Thank you.

I bet hers tastes better than ours.

Oh, that's weird.

What is?

My mom texted me.

Why is that weird?

She never texts me.


She's out dancing with my neighbor.


Your mom is a riot.

We should go join them.

Wait, do you live with your mom?

No, no. She's just temporarily staying with me.

Oh, okay.

Hey, do you want to come over?

Is your mom out?


Let's go.

God, I feel like I'm in secondary school again.

Come on.

Maureen, I love you.

I love you too, sweetie.

I love you.

Okay, all right, off you go. Off you go.

Off you go. You go.





I think my mom might have seen us last night.



Is she still here?

I don't know. I haven't been out there yet.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

Okay, get dressed. I'll go out there first.

All right.



You're up already.

Hi. I'm Ian.


I made some coffee.


I heard you're a great cook.

No. Not at all.

Well, you certainly taught Elliot really well.

His dumplings are amazing.

It was nothing.


He made them for me the other night.

Really, they were so good.

I'm sorry. I have to go.

Maybe she just needs some air. I'm sure she'll come back soon.

I shouldn't have brought you here. That was a mistake.

I'm sorry.

I can't believe I fell asleep.

Elliot, I'm sure she'll come around.

You don't know her.

Bloody hell, what just happened?

You know, you don't have to stay.

What'? No, no, that's not what I meant.

I've never asked you for anything. This is... it's just a... I don't know what this is.

Elliot, stop.

I know what you're trying to do. It's not going to work.

I can't do this.

What the fuck?

What does it mean?

No, no, no, no. We're so close.

I thought we had more time.

So am I out of a job?


No, no, no. This can't be it.

It says here if you pay within the week, you can get the place back.

How are we gonna pay them without a restaurant?

A bake sale?

Hi. Do you have chocolate?

Sorry, you scared me.

Thank you.

A bad day?

I hear you.

These kids can sure brighten the mood.

Are any of them yours?


No, they're my grand-nephews.

I'm too old to have kids.

My husband is enough of a handful.

Any of these kids yours?


My son is not a child anymore.

Well, congrats to you.

That's a great achievement.

I'm George. What's your name?


I just miss when he was that age.

What seems to be the matter?

I walked in on my son and a man in bed this morning.



And how do you feel about it?

Just confused and...

I don't know what to do.

I take it you don't know a lot of gay people.

And I'm assuming you're not very comfortable with it.


Oh, don't apologize.

You're not the first one.

You don't think I have lived through seventy-six years without taking some guff?

So was life tough for you?

At times.

But other times, it's amazing.

I wouldn't change a thing.


Come in.

Hey, Elliot. What's the matter?

Have you seen my mom?

No, no, I've been at work all day. Why?

She just ran out earlier this morning and I haven't talked to her all day.

Why would she run away?

Just something stupid.

But you were with her last night, right?

Did she seem okay?

Yeah, she seemed... she seemed fine, you know, even this morning.

Okay, don't panic. Don't freak out.

But last night, you mom may have taken a couple of Aspirin.

Why would that matter?

And those Aspirin may have actually been ecstasy.

What are you talking about?

It was an accident. It was an accident.

But she was fine.

And then, you know what? We had a really good time.

And it was great, but maybe now she's coming down.

How do you take ecstasy by accident?

In my defense, I told her to spit them out, and she was adamant about swallowing.

Oh, I'm really... I'm sorry.



Are you all right?

I'm okay.

Just went for a walk.

I'm sorry about last night.

Remember when you first learned how to swim?


You were about seven.

You had the worst asthma then.

It was the most awful thing.

We took you to every doctor in town.

We even tried an acupuncturist and it didn't even work.

But then you learned how to swim.

And I got better?

Yeah, you did, almost instantly.

I felt like you'd died and came back again.

But even with all that that happened,

it still wouldn't compare to this, now.

Back then, I always felt like I could figure things out.

Now I feel like I have no idea how to raise you.

Why didn't you talk to me about this before?

Because I didn't...

because I don't want it to be real.


I don't want to lose you.

Why would you lose me?

I can take care of myself.

Can you?

I'm gonna lose the restaurant.


I couldn't pay the mortgage.

But you told me everything was okay.

I didn't want to tell you because I know how much the restaurant means to you.

Why would you think that?

It's your brother's.

Elliot, he's dead now.

He's been dead for a long time.

All I want is for you to be happy.

You don't have to keep the place if you don't want to.

I want to.

Are you sure?


Is he good to you... Ian?

Yeah, he is.


What happened?

It's over now.

Why? Is it because of me?


It's because I'm an idiot.

Hi, this is Ian. Leave me a message.

Hey, Jenny. Yeah, I'm fine.

Hey, so I'm out in front of Susan's restaurant and I got an idea.

Can you rally up everyone to my place tomorrow morning?

Yeah, if this works, we've got a lot of work to do.

Okay, thanks.

Yeah, me too.

Hey, Elliot.

Yeah, what's going on?

Okay. Okay.

A pop-up restaurant?

Really? You think that would work?

Okay. Yeah, I'll call everyone I know.

Okay, bye-

I think this is it.

This is a weird place to have a meeting.

This is what he said on the phone.


You found it.

This is Maureen.

The neighbor, yeah.

This is where you work?


Look, I'm really sorry about the other morning.

I didn't mean for you to get upset.

No, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have run out like that.

No, I completely understand. You're his mom.

Yeah, but she didn't have to be a complete bitch about it.

Maureen. What? You were!

This is my problem, and I just don't want Elliot to have to pay for it.

So glad that you guys are getting along.

Now do you have any burning question for Ian?

No'? All right, I'll go ahead and jump in.

So what are your intentions with Elliot?


It's okay.

I don't think either of us really knows what our intentions are just yet.

It's still a bit early, you know?

Are you a slut?

Oh my God.

Not at all actually.

Any STDs?

No. Nothing.

I'm sorry that I have to ask you these questions.

These are the questions that she would like to ask.

But I'm doing it for her. She's a little uncomfort...

Ian, I know I'm old-fashioned.

Or maybe I'm just old.

But I want to change.

You do?


Elliot has no idea how lucky he really is.

Can I ask you a favor?

Where have you been?

Nowhere. Keep working.

You'd better not be out doing ecstasy again.

Mom, these are my dumpling expert friends.

Hi. Hi. How are you?

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

So this is kind of like a bake sale.


So we've got ginger pork, chicken Thai basil.

One more. We need one more.

How about grilled cheese?


We can't afford that.


So what do you think?

This is so exciting.

Elliot, I just want to tell you that I...

Yeah, I know.

Me too.

I'm gonna check on things in the kitchen.

This is great.


I brought some dessert just in case anybody wants any.




So are you the famous husband?

I'm Maureen, and I've heard all about you.

Let me show you your table. Right this way.

You can tell her how delicious the dumplings are later.

There you go, okay? Enjoy.

I'm watching you.

I'm watching you.

Can I get a pork-and-ginger and a Buddha's Delight?

Oh my God, is that who I think it is?

How did he find out about this?

Oh, that's my friend George.

Oh my God, I am a huge fan.

Well, thank you.

Welcome. This way.

So would you like a couple of minutes to look at the menu?

What would you recommend?

Actually I think chicken and Thai basil dumplings and cheeseburger dumplings.

Sounds great.

Coming right up.

Here you go.

Looks delicious.


Out of this world.

Welcome back.


I think baby likes it too.

Oh hey, look.

Wow, this is quite a turnout.

Thank you for coming.

Of course.

How did you find out?

Your mom... she asked me to come.

I thought I'd come cheer you on.

What'? When?

It doesn't matter.

I'm glad you came.