Eight Legged Freaks (2002) Script

Do you know fear?

Do you know what it's like to feel your heart beatingin your chest so intensely... that you can't even breathe?

This is a story of monsters, creatures, hideous nightmaresthat crawl in the night.

I've seen them.

I've seen them in visions, and you will too.

I knowyou must be saying to yourself, "What is this fineand enlightened brother doing in this godforsaken landscape?"

Well, I'll tell you.

It's the truthwhat brought me out here, because this is the only placein this country where I can tell you the truthand they can't get me.

That's right.

Right here at KFRD, freedom radio.

The only source for the inside dope on government conspiracies, space aliens, and up-to-the-minute reports on when they plan to invade.

It's a beautiful morning here in Prosperity, Arizona, and it's time for America to wake up, people!

Wake up before it's too late.

But no, of course you're still asleep.

You still think we actually landed on the moon, that Oswald killed Kennedy, and that a black man's vote in Florida actually counts.

Wake up, people.

Look to the skies.

Look to the skies, my friends.

Unless, of course, you're driving.

I don't want anybody suing my ass.

I've got enough problems from the government.

Can barely pay for this damn trailer.

Keep talking, buddy.

Say somethingthat has caffeine in it.

It's a hard life, spreading the truth.

Never made Gandhi rich.

Never made Mother Teresa rich.

L. Ron Hubbard?

Well, actually, he did pretty good for himself.


Interesting.


Joshua?

Joshua?

Josh?

You're a big fella.

Joshua, are you tryingto scare me to death?

Hello, Mike.

The Lycosa Narbonensislooks different today.

It's bigger.

It's their diet.

I made a discovery.

These have been appearingin the pond for the past three days.

Crickets?

They're like spider steroids.

[PARROT SQUAWKS]

I see dead people.

I see dead people.

He loves that movie. I don't know...

There they go. Look, look.

Whoa.

He was hungry.

Yeah. As they grow, their appetites do too.

I've never seen spidersthis big before.

It's all from eatingthose crickets?

I'm going to make a fortune.

Wow, jumping spiders.

Yeah, Habronattus Orbus.

Wow.

Yeah, look.

Look how they kill.

I call this an arac-attack.

You get it?

Yeah. It's good.

So have the new orbweavers come in yet?

Oh, yeah.

It took me forever to get that matingpair from Chile.

I had to bribeevery customs agent from Santiago to Tuscon.

But here.

That is too cool.

Yeah. See the maleorb weavers compete for the female'sattention.

They all try to give herthe best present, you know, like bugsor, you know, rats, or the occasionalparrot.

Come on. I want toshow you something.

You see, the preyis cocooned alive so she can eat them in her nest.

You knowhow much women like breakfast in bed.

Yeah, look at this. Look at her.

The femaleof the species is three timesas big as the male.

Say hello to Consuela.

She fills her preywith digestive acid to liquefythe internal organs so she can drink itfrom the inside out while it's alive.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Oh, man, am I in trouble.

I've got to go.

I'll call you later, okay?

When youcome back next, I bet they're twice as bigas they are today.

Bye, Josh. See you next week.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Where'd you go, little fella?


I see dead people.

I see dead...

[ *** ]


[TRUCK HORN HONKS]


Sorry, sonny, we aren't hiring.

You sure?

I'm a pretty good engineer.

Do I look like a womanwho isn't sure?

Yeah, well...

I used to know my wayaround these parts.

We aren't hiring.

We're laying off.

We're three months from agoing-out-of-business sale.

Got the picture?

Yeah, I've got the picture, but my name's not Sonny, it's Chris.

Chris?

Chris?

Aunt Gladys.

Oh, welcome home.

[GROWLS]

Ow!

Bad dog.

No.

Hey, Pete.

What are youdoing out here?

Well, we've got a...

No.

The question is, what are you doing out here?

You were supposed to stayin the house.

What did you find, Mom?

Some jerk tosseda barrel of chemicals off the road.

Judging byits condition, it's been out herea couple of weeks.

Who knows how muchcontamination it's caused.

The water's contaminated?

Pete, send this sample down to the EPA labin Phoenix.

Let's seewhat they come up with, okay?

I've got to tell Joshua.

Oh, so that'swhere you were going?

I told you, no more weeklyvisits to that spider farm, didn't I?

All right, you're grounded, mister.

But, Mom, I've got to tell Joshua about this contamination.

I don't want you hanging outwith that weirdo.

Those spidersare dangerous and besides, theygive you nightmares.

Your nightmareskeep me up all night, and you know what happens when I don't getenough sleep, right?

Bad mood?

Put your bike in the truck.

Pete, can you help himwith his bike?

Yeah, okay, sure.

[WHOOPING]

Hang on, Mike.

[SIREN]

Party's over, gentlemen.

Off the bikes.

Great, this is all I need.

She's got to bethe sexiest sheriff in the country.

I know. It's weird.

Just bought yourselfa reckless, Bret.

Oh, come on. Give them a break.

Get in the truck, Ashley.

Mom!

Now.

Give me your license.

Come on, sheriff.

Come on.

You have the rightto remain silent...

Shut up, dork!

You have a right to an attorney.

If you can't affordan attorney, you will be appointed one...

Hey, Larry, do we know anybodydown at city hall that might be ableto take care of this?

Bret, isn't your stepfatherthe mayor?

Next time you put mydaughter's life in danger, I'll show youexactly how little that means to me.

We're cool, sheriff.

What do you think, G-string or underwear?

Definitely thong.

You goingto pay for this?

No.

Sweet.

I heard that.

Yeah, whatever.

I can't believe my momgave you that ticket.

It was so humiliating.

Ash, I really need to usethe phone.

No, you don't.

You have no friends.

Yeah, I just can't getany privacy around here, you know?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello, hello?

Oh, God.

Does anybody knowwhat's going on with the phone?

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Come on, Joshua, pick up.

Wait, wait.

This is a town meeting, not the WWF.

Mayor?

Why can't those of usthat want to sell, sell?

Now, Viroanolwants all of our properties or none of our properties.

Let's face it.

The town's going broke, and they're willing to pay usto relocate.

How do we knowthis isn't another of your get-rich schemes, like, you know, buildingthis ridiculous mall out here?

Well, they scrapped plansto run a freeway through here, otherwise...

Or that stupidostrich farm of yours.

It's good meat. It's healthy.

Hey, everybody in this town is having some kindof financial problem.

Sure, I want to get outfrom under this and the rest of you should too.

This is a government cover-up, isn't it?

Harlan, what in the hellare you talking about?

Why they willing to pony upso much money?

Just to get to the minesunderneath our properties?

They just want to putthe empty mines to some use.

It's perfectly safe.

The only reasonwe've kept this town going is the hopethat the McCormick mines could turn theirselves aroundand put everybody back to work.

It is not happening.

Old Man McCormick, God rest his soul... he's dead, as dead as those mines.

Well, Mr. Mayor, before he died, he claimed he'd seen that vein.

Let's be honest, Leon.

The man was hallucinating.

You know those mines are filledwith methane gas.

Are you going toload that gun with toxic waste?

This isfor landowners only.

Well, I am a landowner, Wade.

Hey, Chris McCormick.

I didn't knowyou were back.

My father said he'd foundthe Agua Mesa lode.

Well, he said a lot of thingsnear the end, Chris.

I'm not selling the mine.

Chris, wait up.

Wait up.

You're beingfoolish, Chris.

Back off, Wade.

Your fatherwas delusional.

You bettershut the hell up about my father, I'm warning you.

Since whendid you give a damn about the mines, anyway, huh?

You've been gonefor, what, 10 years/

Wade.

Hey, don't make the restof the town suffer just becauseyou feel guilty you weren't aroundwhen your father died.

I'm talking to you.

I warned you!

What the hellare you doing, huh?

That's it. That's it!

Okay, Sam, I'm pressing charges. I want him arrested.

Go home, Wade.

Put some iceon your nose.

Just curve around20 feet away from the sceneof a misdemeanor.

10 years and you have notchanged a bit.

SAM: Why don't you lay lowfor a couple days, all right?

Good to see youagain, Sam.

Just likeold times, huh?

So it's nice to seeyou still like men.

What the hellare you talking about?

Oh, nothing.

I just saw youstaring at his butt when you handcuffed him, that's all.

Who told youthat it's okay to talk to your motherlike this?

He's pretty cutefor an old fogy guy.

He just needs a shave.

Okay, folks, show's over.

Move along.

Night, Sam.

Yeah, nothing to see here, folks.

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

Okay.

[DRILL WHIRRING]

Oh, honey, give it a rest.

It's so late.

It's almost midnight.

Okay, but you told meto finish the job, now I'm tryingto finish the job...

Let's just give Zekie his snackand go to sleep.

Where is Zeke?

Well, he's just...

Don't tell me he went into the drywall again.

Well, yeah, I was meaningto get a grille, but they don't havethe right size...

You were going to finishremodeling this place over a month ago.

I don't think you knowwhat you're doing.

We're going to have togive Zeke cat food and he hates cat food.

God forbid a cat should have toeat cat food.

That catis spoiled rotten.

If he was a kid, we'd have to send himto military school.

Poor Zekie.

Let's lieand say it's tuna.

Okay. I don't thinkyou'll trick him.

He's smart.

Zekie-doodle.

Look what we've gotfor you.

We've got tuna.

[MEOWS]

Get your furry cat assout of there.

[CAT SCREECHING]

Whoa!

[SCREECH]

Zeke...

Zeke...

Zekie... Zeke.

Zeke.

Zeke.

Zeke...

Oh, my God.

She's divorced now, you know.

I reallydon't want to talk about Sam Parkerright now.

Well, a manin a flea circus don't want to itch, but he still does.

Something on your mind, Gladys?

I know why you left town10 years ago.

I left townfor a lot of reasons.

You wanted to avoid telling Sam Parker why you beat the crapout of her husband.

That was a long time ago.

I'm a changed man now.

Okay, prove it.

March your butt down right nowto Sam Parker's and tell her everything.

Tell her why you brokeher husband's nose and why you left town without so muchas a fare-thee-well.

Tell her once and for allhow you really feel about her.

Lose the face fuzzbefore you do.

Makes your mouthlook like a stripper's crotch.

[KETTLE WHISTLING]

That's disgusting.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Hey, Sam.

Hey, Pete. What's up?

Yeah, I can talk.

What's the matter?

Something ate Zeke.

What?

He got in the drywall.

Something ate your cat?

Oh, my God.

What do you think it was?

Unbelievable.

How's Emma taking it?

Well, she left me.

She's gone to staywith her mother.

Pete, I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

You sound like you're crying.

Oh, no, no.

I just, you know, I have an intolerance to dairy and I'm justa little bit mucousy right now.

That's it.

Sam, I need totell you something...

[DOORBELL RINGS]

It's Bret. I'm going to get it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.

Hey, hang on a second.

Come here.

I'm worriedabout a lot of things you've been doinglately, Ash.

This wholebad-girl thing you're going through could get you in trouble.

Mom.

I have something that I want youto keep with you, okay?

Mom, I really don'twant to do this now.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Just a sec!

I'm a man, you're a woman....

No. What am I doing?

Take this.

Is that a stun gun?

What, are you kidding me?

I knew guys just like Bret...

Mom, I'm not you, okay?

I'm not going to get pregnantat 16.

I'm not going to stay herefor the rest of my life and be likea trailer-trash sheriff, all right?

Thanks for the flashback.

I didn't deserve that.

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

I'm really sorry.

Can I have the stun gun, please?

Be careful with it, all right?

Okay.

Thank you.

Get out of here.

Ew.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hey.

Oh, it's you.

Yeah. I was wonderingif your mom was home?

Mom, it's for you.

Morning, Chris.

Morning, Sam.

I just wantedto come by and apologizefor yesterday.

No. I can handle Wade.

Really, don't worry about it.

Great.

And you know, since I'm back in town for a little while and all, I thought maybe I could...

Sam, before I left...

Is there somethingyou want to tell me?

Do you thinkwe could meet somewhere, hook up?

Not hook up.

I mean, meet somewhere and you know, catch up on things?

Sure, Chris.

Yeah, we could do that.

Great.

All right, I'll be in touch.

Okay.

Um...

Who are the flowers for?

Oh...

Well, they're for you, actually.

I picked them myself.

Nice.

Nice.

All right, bye.

"Picked them myself."

Come on.


Joshua?

There's no sign of Joshua, his parrot, or any of the arachnids.

Just these huge, intricate websthey've left behind.


I've discoveredseveral arachnid tracks outside Joshua's.

From my initial estimate, the spiders have doubled.

No, more like they're five timestheir original size.


[THUMPING]

[ROARING]

I found this mapin my dad's study.

Leon, is this the sectionhe was working on when he died?

Yep.

I thought so.

I want to concentrateall our energy in these tunnels here.

Those mines have the highestconcentration of methane gas.

Yeah, well, I'm not going to makethe same mistake my dad did.

I want all mento wear their masks at all times.

If you startfeeling disoriented, get to oneof these higher chambers as soon as possible.

Well, it's niceto know you didn't forgeteverything we taught you.

Hey, can you give mea ride into town, mister?

Sure.

Hop in, kid.

Great. Thanks.

What's that?

I think it'san exoskeleton of a male orb weaver'spedipalps.

Okay...

It's a spider's leg.

Well, that seemsawful big to be a spider leg.

Yeah, that's the problem.

But nobody'sgoing to believe me.

Believe what?

Do you reallywant to know?

Try me.

Okay.

The situation is this.

My friend Joshuasells exotic spiders.

They've grown biggerthe last couple of weeks, and now they've grownso big that they'vebroken out of their cages and headed downto the mine shafts.

Joshua is nowhere to be found and I thinkthey might've killed him, but you won't believe me, because I'm the kid, and they never believe the kid.

Let me see it.

You know, it doeskind of look like an old pieceof cactus.

See?


So... where were you?

I went to Joshua's.

What did I tell youabout going over there?

Mom, his spidershave become gigantic.

The whole towncould be in danger.

They could destroy everything.

People could get killed.

Just hear me out.

I swear to Godit's the television.

This is exactly your problemright here.

I don't want to hearany more of your media-induced, paranoid, delusional nightmares.

Mom, listen to me.

You can add a weekto how long you're grounded.

Please?

And no TV.

I know.

I thought it was a slam-dunk.

Who knew Chris McCormickwould suddenly get gold fever?

I'm trying my best here.

Do you have any idea what the peopleof this town would do if they knewwe were storing toxic waste without their consent?

Wade, I'm going out now.

Now, look, I let you guys run tests, putting that stuff in the minesthat run under my own property.

I'll be back late, maybe not till morning.

You owe me on this.

Going off to get wasted, have a wild orgy, and I might steal a car.

You want one?

Bret, I'm on the phone.

Go have some fun.

I'll see you later.

Either we stand togetheron this...

Thanks for caring, man.

Or we fall together.

I'll do what I can.

What the...


Good Lord.


I've been warning you about this for years, but you wouldn't listen to me.

And now it's starting to emergeas a trend in our town.

Checking on the police wire that Bob Stuck's dog Skippy'sbeen missing, and that's the fourthmissing-pet call we've had this morning.

It's strange, it's strange.

People are sayingit's coyotes and it's wolves, but we know the truth.

We all know about those cowsin New England and the probe, the anal probe.

Yeah, let's talkabout the probe.

Let's talk about the anal probe.

What is that?

I mean, what are they looking for?

I mean, that's just wrong.

I mean, Skippy didn't do anything to anybody.

I mean, he doesn't deserve that.

What are you going to findin a dog's... you know what I'm saying.

It's just wrong.

You're all ostriches with your heads stuck in the dirt, which just leaves your ass sticking up in the air.

You're inviting the aliens in, people.

They have no choice but to probe you in the butt.

Aunt Gladys, how can you listento this wacko?

I think he's very informative.

Do Floyd and Leroystill have that barber shop?

Good idea.

People are beginning to talk.

Oh, you can't lightthose matches, huh?

Maybe it's a sign to quit.

If the aliens come down and they try to anal probe me, I'm telling you, I'm not taking that.

That's...

If you want a piece of me, just don't take that piece.

So how muchis a shave these days?

Four bucks.

Four bucks?

That's a good deal.

Got to give a good deal.

Can't charge around herewhat a barber can charge in other placeswhere they've got money.

And jobs.

Of course, some people don't know a good dealwhen they see one.

Uh, you know, maybe I don't need a shave.

Hold still.

I wouldn't want to cut you.

Bret, slow down.

Well, I thoughtyou loved me?

I do, I do, but I just...

But what?

I just...

I don't want to losemy virginity in the front seatof a truck.

Well, why didn'tyou say so?

I've got a blanketin the back.

Bret, no.

No, that's not it.

I just don't thinkl'm ready.

Tammy and Larry do itevery night.

So fine, call them, okay?

Have a ménage à trois if you want.

Oh, that dirty talkjust drives me nuts.

Oh, Bret, no.

Bret, please.

Bret, look, I'm warning you, okay?

I can't help it.

You just bring outthe beast in me.

Bret, back off!

Ow, my balls!

God, my balls.

[SOUND OF WATER FLOWING]

Damn it!

I pissed my pants.

Don't you thinkyou're overreacting a little?

I was just copping a feel.

Overreacting?

God, you know, I can't believe my momwas right about you.

Do you have any ideahow embarrassing that is?

[ENGINE TURNING OVER]

Ash!

Ash, wait.

I'm sorry.

Aaa...!

Check out Bret.

Yeah.

Go! Go! They're coming!

They're coming! Go!

Get on your bikes! Get on your bikes!

They're coming.

Dude, did youpiss your pants?

We've got to get out of here.

Looks likethe only thing going is you, dude.

[SCREAMS]


They're getting closer.

Move it!

We have ostriches, catsand dogs disappearing all over town.

Sir, last time I checked, cats and dogs are not fish, and ostriches are farmed, they're not game...

There has to be somebodyat Fish and Game who can be of some assistance.


Hey, watch it!


Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

[GRUNTS]

Yes...

What the hell are these things?


Here we go again.

The phone lines are down.

I know they're going to tell youthat it's a technical error, but you know what it is.

They're shutting us down.

That's right.

I know what you're sayingto yourself.

You're saying,"Oh, he's paranoid, he's paranoid, he's crazy,"but you know...

And then there's an old saying, you know, "Just because I'm paranoid doesn't meanpeople aren't following me."

And all of a sudden there's a communication "blackout."

Probablyat the bottom of the bag.

It's where they alwaysput the food.

[FOOTSTEPS SKITTERING]

Here it is.

Here we go, Bruisie.

Bruisie?

[BARKS]

[YELPS]

Bruiser?

Aunt Gladys?

Bruiser?

Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

Oh, Lord.

Are you in there?

Oh...

Oh, my God.

Oh...

I'm coming, baby.

I'm coming.

Aunt Gladys, I lost the face fuzz.

Bruiser?


Aunt Gladys?

[MUMBLING]

[MUMBLES ECHOING]

Aunt Gladys?

Aunt Gladys?

This ain't no cactus.


Mike!

Mike!

Mike! Sam!

[BANGING]

Can I talk to Mike?

Why? What's going on?

I can't explain now.

Mike, look what I foundin my basement.

Whoa, that thing is huge!

Give me a second.

Hold this.

What's going on?

So check this out.

After takingcareful measurements of the exoskeleton I foundat Joshua's, my program calculatedthat the spider was roughly the size shown here.

What spider?

But the hole in the basementwas much bigger than that.

What hole?

Okay, now let's inputthe measurements from your exoskeleton and see what happens.

That's more like it... unfortunately.

What the hell is this?

It's my media-induced, paranoid, delusional nightmare.

Oh, God.

So you're tryingto tell me that a giant spider ate Gladys?

Maybe not.

Was there webbing around?

Yeah, lots of it.

She might havebeen attacked by a male orb weaver.

Male, female, what's the difference?

Males competefor the female's attention by bringing herthe best present.

The prey is cocooned alive so that she canfeed on it later in her nest.

You know how all womenlike breakfast in bed.

So Gladys might still be alive?


[GASPS]

[SCREAMING]

That's Ashley.

Come on.

Ashley?

Ashley...

Mom!

Look out!

Keys.

Keys, keys, keys, keys.

Mike, get out of here!

Scissors. Throw me the scissors!

Scissors?

Scissors!

Here you go.

Hey, spidey.

Thank you.

Pete. Come in, Pete.

All right.

Hold on to your shirt.

Sam, is that you, Sam?

Look, I don't know what's going on, but all the phones are down.

Take every weapon we haveto my house.

Guns?

Why would we be needing...

Just do it!

Okay. All right. Okay.

[MUFFLED SCREAMING]

Winchester, we've got six, Mossberg pump, and the Lee Harvey Oswald rifle.

Why we have that, I do not know.

Why don't you stomp them hills out flat and give yourself some room to grow before you start making brags around us.

Brags, is it?

I'm closing up.

Oh, my Lord, always complainingabout something.

Can you turnthat thing down?

You're already deaf from it.

I said turn that thing down.

What did you say?

No!

No!

Bob?

First Emma leaves, now Sam's got me doingspring cleaning.

Can't get any worse than this.

[SIREN]

So what happenedwith you and Brian, anyway?

He wasn't exactlythe faithful type.

Sam, I've been tryingto tell you this for a long time.

You can handle one of these, right?

[SIREN APPROACHING]

[HORN HONKING]

Ashley, Mike, you guys ready?

Just a minute, Mom.

How many spidersdid Joshua have?

I don't know, a hundred, maybe 200?

200?

Are you kidding me?

Hurry up, you guys. It's time to go.

Mom, nearly all Joshua's spidersare nocturnal hunters.

They're coming out of the minesright now to feed.

We have towarn everybody.

All the phone linesare down, Mike.

To spread the word, open up your eyes to get you to look into the dark places that our government-controlled media...

We can broadcast a warning.

Okay, who is going to believethat lunatic?

[HORN HONKING]

What was that?

What the...

What the hell is going on?

It's Pete.

He's waiting.

Come on. Let's go.

See you, Ash.

I don't think that was Pete.

Oh, my God...

Holy moly.

Everybodyget in the car now!

Ashley, go!

Come on, come on.

Look out, Sam!

Come on.

What are you waiting for? Go!

Habronattus Orbus...

Let's go!

The jumper.

You guys stayin the car.

Pete, honkif there are any problems.

You got it, Sam.

Mom...

Stay in the car.

Guys, stay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

Harlan, I need to makean emergency broadcast.

You can't just come inand oppress me.

I have no time to explain.

Consider thisa government conspiracy to take overyour station.

Here.

Friends, our local "authorities" have an emergency message for our charminglittle community.

This is Sheriff Sam Parker and I havea very important announcement.

Pete, turn onthe radio.

This is not a prank or one of Harlan's crazy stunts.

We have a crisis situation on our hands.

The town... is being overrunby giant spiders.

Believe me, I know how this sounds, but you musttrust me on this.

I want everyoneto arm themselves immediately.

I repeat, giant spidersare all over the town.

Did she just saygiant spiders?

That's just Harlan's show.

Giant spiders?

What the hell kind of bullshitis that?

Space aliens you believe.

This you havea hard time with?

Why didn't someonesay something?

Look at me.

God.

I've got to warn Sam.

No, no, no, no, no!

No. Shh.

Noise will attract it.

What do I do?

Give me the walkie-talkie.

Mom, are you there?

Yeah, yeah, Mike. Mike, is everything okay?

Mom, don't make any movements or noises.

There's a giant tarantulaheaded your way.

Copy that.

Oh, my God!

You're just foodto that thing.

Attention, people.

Everyone meetat the Prosperity Mall.

I repeat: the Prosperity Mall.

Why the mall?

Concrete walls, steel doors.

[GUNSHOTS]

Did you see that thing?

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]


Let's go.

Come on.

I have four more paymentson this shit.

Let's go.

Come on, hurry.

It's comingthis way!

Go. Go.

[SCREAMING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]


Come on.

Can I geta refill, Carol?

Help yourself, sweetie.

Thanks.

That was an excellentostrich burger.

Well, thank you.

Kind of slow today, huh?

It's always slowhere, Wade.

No, no, no, no, I'm telling you, there's no wayyou're telling me that thing back thereis from Earth.

All right, they'respiders from Mars.

You happy?

No.


It's the invasion!

It's the invasion!

Sam, I'm telling you, it's the invasion!

I told you.

I told you.

Everyone, just get to the mall, as quick as you can.

Just getto the Prosperity Mall as soon as possible.

Arac-attack.

[HORN HONKING]

If you build it, they will come.


Chris, get everyone inside and get the gate down.

Kids, go with him.

Right, Mom.

Oswald's gun.

This is the weirdest dayof my life.

What is going on?

Look behind you.


Norman, how do youget this gate down?

Key. Do you have it?

Yeah. Come on!

Hurry up.

Okay.

That's the back gate.

That's the ladies lavatory.

Come on!

You're making me nervous.

I'll make you nervous.

Give me that!

Could it be this onewith "Front Gate" on it?

Yeah, Front Gate. That'll do it.

Come on!

Everybody get inside!

Hurry!

Mom, hurry up!

Come on.

Mom, hurry!

Hurry!

Mom, come on. Hurry up!

Mom, are you okay?

What exactly is that?

Spider, man.

Hey...

Hey, Chris, how'sthe lockdown holding over there?

This one's holdingpretty good.

They're holding, but we don't have much time.

Okay.

All the doors arelocked and secured.

No breaches at the front.

I haven't heard a soundin a couple hours.

I think the doors will hold.

Someone ought toget back there and...

Go.

Sam, I think we have a right to knowwhat the hell is going on here.

Those thingskilled Leroy.

And Bob Miller, my best customer, was hangingfrom my ceiling.

What am I doingon the radio all day?

I've been telling youabout the alien invasion for months.

Am I talking to myself?

I'm here for you.

You saying thosethings out there are aliens?

Mom, they have tobe quiet.

Those weren't aliens.

Those werebig-ass spiders, really big ones!

Shut up.

Let's listen to the kidfor once.

Go on, Mike.

All right.

First of all, the spiders are attractedto vibrations.

That includes loud noises, movement, and talking, so everybody just needs to stayas calm and quiet as possible.

Sam, why didn't youcall in the Army, for chrissake?

Where have you been, Wade?

The phones are dead.

Doesn't anyonehave a cell phone around here?

You can use mine, if you'rewilling to climb a mountain.

Why don't youjust use the antenna up on the topof the mall?

That's how I getmy broadcast out.

Have somebody climb upand get a signal out.

That's a great idea, Harlan.

Be a hero.

I'll do it.

No, Sam, let me.

I've got your back.

Great.

I've been fightingthese aliens my whole life.

About timel busted up a few of them face to face.

They're not aliens, they're spiders!

Those of you whodon't have weapons need to arm yourselves with anythingthat you can dig up, and then we'll all meetright back here.

Okay?

Go to the hardware storeand meet me here.

Norman... show me the wayto the roof.

I'm sorry. Show you where?

The roof, Norman.

The roof!

The roof.


How is it looking?

Roof's clear.

Be careful, Chris.

Thanks, Sam.

Listen, I've been tryingto say something to you, so I'll just come outand say it.

Okay.

Here, take these.

You'll need them.

Perfume?

Spiders, they have a highly developedsense of smell.

The perfumecould confuse them.

Oh, great, you know, if we die, we diesmelling nice.

Nobody's dying, okay?

That's the one who busted upmy trailer!

Shh!

I bet youhe's their leader.


Come on.

You have the phone?

I thoughtyou had the phone.

You said you had it.

Oh yeah, I've got it.

Sorry.

I got confused.


Damn it.

I... I've got a signal.

That's great.

Now how about dialing?

911 emergency.

Yeah, I'm callingfrom Prosperity, Arizona.

My name is Chris McCormick.

I know how thisis going to sound, but you have to believe me.

I swear it's the truth.

Our town is being attackedby giant spiders.

We need military intervention.

This is an emergency service, not Dial-a-Joke.

This is not a crank call.

Don't hang upon me, lady.

Please!

It's an invasion!

They're here!

They're here!

You're damn right!

That's whatl've been telling you!

I don't knowhow much longer those gates will hold.

I have to find Wade.

Has anyone seen Wade?

He went throughthat door back there.

Through that door between the Sewing Centerand the Cinemaplex?

He's trying to go into the mines through the storage roomdownstairs.

Ashley, take everyone who's hurtand all the kids and get downto that storage room.

Norman, show them.

Now, now, now, now.

Go!

Here we go.

Get ready.

Get ready!

Oh, yeah. Right.


Shoot it!

Kill them!

Everybodyget to the basement now!

Hurry!


Pete, come on!

Go, Sam!

Get downstairs!

I'll findanother way out!

Guys, go.

[SCREAMS]

Come on.

It's locked!

What?

He must have locked itfrom the other side.

We're trapped.


Get back, you eight-legged freaks!

Oh, my God, there's so many.

Harlan, get up here!

I'm afraid of heights.

Heights?

Aren't you afraidof spiders?

Come on, Harlan.

I'll try to lead them away.

You'll what?

Defend the human race.

What, are you insane?

Go!

You'll never get that anal probenear me!

Harlan, no!

[SCREAMING]

Harlan?

Hey, you know what?

Let's just goback inside.

Okay.

Locked.

That's okay.

Plan B?

All right, I tell you what.

We're just going torun away.

Yeah? Yeah.

Okay.


Bret?

Wade?

What are you doing here?

I can't findmy way out.

You're not going to believe me, but I've been getting chasedby giant spiders all day.

Down here?

Yeah. A second ago, they were right behind me, but I think I lost them.

No, you didn't.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

Bret! Bret!


Sam.

Chris, where are you?

Sam, I'm up here.

What the hellare you doing up there?

Just chilling. Get me out of here.

Back up.

All right, wait.

You pushand I'll pull.


Ash?

Ashley?

Mom?

Look, Wadelocked the door from the other side.

[BANGING]

They're all around us.

Everybody hide. Just take cover.

Bret?

Behind you!

Bret?

Ashley.

Mom, we better hurry.

All right, let's move.

Come on!

Let's go, everybody.

Into the mines. Come on, hurry.

There's got to be flashlightsor something.

Keep moving.

Grab one of these.

Oh, cool, a miner's helmet.

I always wanted to try one.

Chris?

Can you leadthese people out?

Come on, everybody, let's go.

This should hold him...

I hope.

Chris?

How do we getout of here?

We follow these power linesto a generator.

The generatorsare always near an exit.

Hurry.

Come on, everybody.

Not that way, this way.

This way.

Follow the kid.

Hurry up.

You went back therefor that?

God, lose that thing.

It's going toslow us down.

You wouldn't believehow many times this puppy saved my ass.

What's that smell?

Wasn't me.

Methane gas, a lot of it.

Listen up.

The slightest sparkor an open flame can blow us all to hell... so be careful.

Let's go.

The cables lead to a generator.

Follow the cables.

Cables... to a generator.

You guys, it's this way.

Follow the cables.

The cables lead to a generator.

Follow the cables.


Norman!

Somebody save him!

No. No, no. No gunfire.

No gunfire.

We'll set off the gas.

Catch.

All right, come on, everybody, hurry, into the tunnel.

Follow the cables.

People, hold on.

What the hell is this?

What's going on?

I don't know.

That spider back there, was that the female?

No.

That was justanother male.

The femaleis three times as big.

So she's probablystill close by, right?

Yeah. Yeah, I'd say so.

Mike, go backwith your sister.

Go back with your sister!

Go.

What are you doing here?

Mom sent me back.

Why?

You don't want to know.

We have to do it.

It's the only way out.

Okay.

Oh, my God...

What the hell?

What is it?

I think it's alive.

Don't touch it.

Don't, don't...

It's Wade.

It's Wade.

Bret, just go, okay?

Just go.

Wade?

Let's get him down.

Oops.

Wade?

I don't feel so hot.

Hold on a second.

Wow, look at the size of that.

What the hellis this place, Mike?

It looks likean orb weaver den.

Okay, Chris, get usout of here fast.

Sam, I can't.

Why not?

Is there a chanceGladys is still alive?

Well, it's possible.

Are you crazy?

Sam, you'll have toget out without me.

Keep followingthose wires.

There's a wooden shedon the outside with a generator.

Get it startedas soon as possible.

What are you up to?

I've got an idea.

I get it.

All right, everybody, come on.

Follow the cables.

Let's go. This way.

Come on, Mark.

Bret, I need your bike.

Bret, just do it.

All right, kids, come on.

Sam, Sam.

Just leave it there.

I've tried to tell you thisfor a long time.

Now?

I may not get another chance.

I should have said thisa long time ago.

I know.

You beat up my ex because you found outhe was cheating on me, and you couldn't tell me, because you didn't want tobreak up my family, and you love me, you've always love me, and if you'd told me sooner, maybe our liveswould be different.

Exactly.

Your father told me.

My dad told you?

Yes. Now get moving, so you canmake it up to me later.

Go on.

That was easy.

Gladys?

Gladys?

Gladys?

This way. Follow me.

Come on. Move it!

[COUGHING]

Gladys!

Breathe.

You're alive.

You look like an angel... all that gold.

Gold?

Right behind you.

The Agua Mesa lode, he found it.

We need to findthe generator.

Mark, get everybodyaway from the mines.

Okay, Sam.

Come on, folks, hurry up.

Get away from the mines. Get out there.

Hey, Mom, what about that one?

Come on.

Come on!

I knew he wasn't crazy.

What are you doing?

No, no, no, no.

No smoking.

Come on. We've got toget out of here.

Stand back, Gladys.

Shoot it.

Shoot it!

I'll set off the gas.

I can't!

Get back.

Mike, you saved us.

I need this more than you.

Damn it.

Why isn't it working?

It needs fuel.

See?

All right, everybody, find gas tanks, anything you can find.

We need gasoline.

Hurry!

Hurry!

Oh, God.

What are you doing?

It'll set off the gas.

Hurry!

All the gas cans are empty.

Well, keep looking.

We just need a littlefor one electrical surge.

Keep looking, everybody.

Don't give up.

Here.

Will this work?

Ashley, you're a genius.


Switch.

Turn this on.

Mom! Mom, it worked.


Adios, Consuela!

Fire!


Aunt Gladys!

Are you okay?

Oh, God, not the mall.

Not my mall.

Not the mall.

Please, not the mall.

I hope to Godthe insurance pays for this.

[SIRENS]

Let's go!

Let's go!

I thought you said911 didn't believe you?

They didn't.

They listen to my broadcast.

We never miss a show.

We just drove downfrom Tucson.

It sounded like you guysneeded some help.

Where are the aliens?

How many timesdo I have to tell you?

They're not aliens, okay?

They're just spiderswho grew to enormous size because they ingestedtoxic waste.

Oh, that's a morebelievable explanation.

Well, hey, I'm the one that dragged that barrelout of the water.

I got completely coveredin the stuff.

And your point is?

Point?

See this?

All brand-new. Brand-new growth.

Check it out, people, brand-new.

Ma'am, are you all right?

Do you smoke?

No.

Good.

Dangerous habit.Disgusting.

Causes explosions.

Wish I'd never started.

Are there any more peopledown in those mines?

No. My Aunt Gladys was the only onel found alive.

I checkedthe other cocoons, but nobody made it.

Cocoons?

Hey, guys, we've got cocoons!

I told you it'dbe worth the ride!

Glad you came back home?

Yeah.

Yeah, I am.

Me too.

And that, my friends, is the story of how the aliens attacked our sleepy little town, and to this day, people refuseto believe the truth about what happened here.

They'd lead you to believel would embellish this story, that I would make it up, but we know the truth.

Oh yeah, two thingsl forgot to tell you...

One, they never didget that probe near me.

And two, as far as Chris McCormickreopening the gold mines and putting everyoneback to work, well, that, my friends, is another story altogether.