Electra Glide in Blue (1973) Script

Johnny...

You really sweeten me this morning.

You sweeten me so good.

And I love you for it.

You know that?

Honey, I gotta get movin'.

You!

John Wintergreen, you ain't no superman.

You ain't. You ain't got it in you!

You ain't got it in you.

John!

Bullshit.

You do got it in you.

"Contemporary Sexual Behavior and Morality

"and its Impact on Urban and Rural Crime.

"Documentations and Statistics

"and Case Histories by Dr. R.E.L. Masters."

Oh, my!

I'll bet it ain't no better than 'Valley of the Dolls'.

Big John? Yeah.

Did you ever see 'Valley of the Dolls'?

My dove, I got my valley of the dolls right here.

Hello, easy street.

Oh, Johnny, don't you ever get tired?

I do, but the important part don't.

I gotta go right now. Bye!


Sergeant, sir?

Excuse me, I was just wondering if there was any word on my application for transfer, Sergeant?

Negative, Wintergreen.

Well, see, it's my third application this month, and I know there is an opening in Homicide.

Would you let me know, if there's any word on it, would you?

Fall in, Wintergreen. Yes, sir.

Attention!

Dress right! Dress!

Parade rest!

Good morning, pigs.

Good morning, you fascists.

You honkies!

You killers!

You bigots!

You fags!

You pinkos!

You creeps!

You bastards!

Fuzz.

This indoctrination of vocal harassment was compiled by our own juvenile division in preparation for the concert this weekend.

Now, men, I'm going to talk to you this morning about self-control and law enforcement.


Good morning, sir. Hi there, fella.

Where'd you come from, out of a crater?

I guess I did.

Could I see your driver's license, please?

Ah! Speed limit's 60 miles an hour, right?

This little horse kinda gets away from me once in a while.

Well, you're gonna have to take a tighter rein, 'cause I did clock you doing almost 90 a ways back there.

Could I see the license? Oh, sure.

There we are. All right.

Morning, ma'am.

A police officer.

A detective. Yes. Los Angeles.

Well, that's a coincidence, you see, because I hope to change this uniform for a suit myself just any day now.

Well, luck to you then, fella.

Thank you very much.

Could you take the license out for me, please?

You gotta be kiddin'.

You're gonna give me a ticket? I'm afraid so, sir.

Thank you.

Take a good look at this, fella.

It says Los Angeles Police Department Detective, right?

Well, I'm John Wintergreen, Stockman Motors, and I have to write you up, if you'll just be patient for one minute.

Just one minute. You're a joke, fella.

I don't know what cracker barrel you crawled out of, but I wish you'd crawl back in it.

I'm going back over to L.A., and I'm gonna instruct my traffic man to tag every Arizona plate that comes into that state, right?

They're gonna give them your badge number and your name.

Then all them son of a bitches are gonna come back here and climb your ass.

You got that, officer?

Can you sign that, please? Yeah.

Have a nice day.

You boys are gonna have to turn this rig around and get it all the way back up on Buckeye Road.

Buckeye Road? Mm-hm.

That'd be another three, four more hours anyway.

Well, you know, there's no 5-axle vehicles on this highway.

I think you know that.

You got a weigh slip?

Thank you. Excuse me just a minute.

There goes another job.

Hey, son?

See there? John Wintergreen. That's my name.

And I always write down John Wintergreen first whenever I run into a fellow that I think has got a story to tell me.

And I think you're one of them fellas.

Why don't you go ahead and tell me your story?

Well, it's nothing, really.

It's just that since I got back, it seems like the only natural talent I got is for screwing up.

It's been two months since I got back from Nam and I've blown two jobs.

What the hell? It's no excuse.

It's just a question of adjustment, you know?

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Listen, I wanna give you a little advice.

Don't look for favors, 'cause that's the wrong foot to get started on.

You're talkin' to a fella who knows.

You sound like you made the trip yourself.

Marines. 4th Recon. I got back in '68.

It's good to find you, brother.

I can't tell you how good. Well, you don't know how good it is.

You see, you've been back only six weeks, and I'm gonna do for you what it took somebody six months to do for me.

Yes, sir. What's that? Nothin'.

Are you gonna give me a ticket? I'm gonna give you a ticket.

And you're gonna make me go back to Buckeye Road?

Gonna make you go back to Buckeye Road.

And you don't even have to thank me for it.


There's going to be an open house, a house-warming I guess you could call it out Buckeye way on Thursday.

Fire Patrol Administration is opening up a branch office out there.

They're anxious to have everybody know where it is and come out and take a look around.

So, be advised that you are invited to a house-warming at the Fire Patrol Administration's new branch office out in Buckeye, Thursday, November 9th.

And I suspect that if you can get there by about 10 o'clock in the morning, you might get to meet the governor.

I've been told that he's going to be out there to take a look at the new facilities also.

The cost of living and just about everything seems to be going up, including the cost of putting out the "Market News Service".

And as a result of the increased cost of mailing...

Oh, boy, I hope that's you, Big John.

Well, that's one for you.

Read me some.

"The juice of the Joelian swamp pads.

"I'm sure it's the final ingredient I seek.

"It must be. Ah! Chemical reaction at last.

"It's the final ingredient I need for this last experiment.

"I'll put it in the test tube on a large scale at once, "and if successful, the Wizard of the Cosmos will live again.

"Well, later that day, "as the Martian Solar Vision carries the image

"of the Space Ranger Guardian of the Universe

"to an eager interplanetary audience...

"And now the question in the minds

"and on the lips of millions of Space Rangers...

Mr. Space Ranger, "what was your most dangerous and most baffling case?

Hey, Space Ranger. Hey! "Wow, that's a tough one. Now let me see."

You wanna go check Black Canyon?

Nope. I'm gonna sit right here in the shade.

Maybe I'll go check it myself.

Oh, there ain't no action over there.

I just came from over there.

Excuse me. How about Camelback?

Ain't no action over there, either.

Ain't no action nowhere today.

Is that a fact?

Zipper, that's the story of your life.

Ain't no action, no place, at no time.

I'll see you later.

Somebody gotta be doing something bad somewhere.

Think I'll go check traffic. You do that.

I ain't leavin' the shade.

Except maybe for one thing.

There you go, honey. Thank you.

What'll you have, sweetheart?

Put me down.

Hi. Hi.

Did you know that me and Alan Ladd were exactly the same height?

Right down to the quarter inch?

Did you know that?

It's just something you know, you know?

Like sometimes you read a lot and you just remember a little bit?

Then there's sometimes you read a little bit and you remember a whole lot.

I remember one time I heard somebody say...

"Do you know what was Alan Ladd and William Bendix's first movie?"

And just like that, I said 'the Blue Dahlia'.

And I never even saw the movie.

But I bet five dollars and I won it.

Did you know that he was so short that they used to have to dig a ditch for the girls to stand in to kiss him?

You didn't know that, huh?

Let me have a couple boxes of popcorn, two of those Whoppers, four bags of those sunflower fritees, and give me one of those giant Joy Colas.

What are you gonna get?

A fudge bar.

How about you?

I lost my interest.

My friend will take care of you.

I'd like to have a grilled cheese sandwich and a Cherry Coke.


Morning. Morning.

Can I see your driver's license, please?

Why don't you step out here?

Take it out for me, okay? Sure.

Thank you.

You know you guys are early, man.

I only counted on getting stopped once every 50 miles between here and Arcadia.

You guys are 20 miles early. Incredible. A first.

Looks like we got ourselves a wiseass here, John.

Hey, David? Yeah.

I'm John. Are you a wiseass? Not at all, man. Not at all.

That a boy.

Can't you just give me my ticket for doing 40 in a 45 and let me split, you know?

Just what is it you got to hide? Man, I'm not hiding nothing, man.

I'm just tired of getting cracked for the way I look. You know, it's a drag.

It gets to be a drag. Oh, yeah?

Why don't you change the way you look?

As a matter of fact, all you gotta do is just stand there.

I'll change it for you.

What do you say I get those slicers out, Big John?

Just what is it you're carrying in here anyway?

Posters, beads, general hippie regalia. You know, the whole routine.

Yeah, let's get it all out there, so we can see it.

Oh, man. Come on, man. Like, what a drag.

I don't want to have to unload my bus, man. Hey, David!

You told me you weren't a wiseass. I'm not.

Well, he asked to see everything.

Why don't you just take it out and put it down here on the highway?

You're gonna be a lot better off. Will you take my advice?

Fine. That a boy.

Fine. Great.


Hey, hey!

What do we have here, Big John? A picture of us?

You look a little heavy there, Zipper. That looks like you.

I'm what you might call the distributor.

I distribute to all the head shops between Santa Fe and Albuquerque.

All this stuff.

Son, you're what I might call a dealer.

Hey, Dave. Come here a minute.

Now, just between you and me, are you holding anything you shouldn't be?

No way, man. I'm totally clean, man.

I'm telling you, it's my gig. I sell this stuff to people.

Okay. Pack it up. Outta sight, outta sight.

You wanna remove them hubcaps for inspection?

Go ahead. It'll take you five minutes, you'll be outta here.

Go on. Fine.

Hey, Big John? Yeah, Zipper.

Why don't you check out that shopping bag there?

See what he's got in there.

You already checked that bag, Zipper.

I know it.

Check it again.

Could be there's something I missed.

I'm gonna get a make on that VW.

Then we're gonna pack all this shit up and get out of here.

I said check out that shopping bag.

Hey, John, John!

That kid is a smartass, and I'm gonna bust him.

I'll bet you are, Zipper. That's right.

Now, you get on the right side of it.

And don't you look at me like that, either.

Hey, David. Come over here.

What is this you got here? Hey, man. Forget it, man.

You planted that shit on me, and you know it, man.

You hassled my ass for an hour and a half here, man.

I'm gonna lose bread on all my shit, man.

And you hassled me, and now you're planting this shit on me.

You're gonna take me in and crack me, right?

The law. The long arm of the law, man. Right.

Helping people out, right? That's really great.

That's really top drawer. Outta sight.

Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you.

Turn it on!

I guess you're just getting tired of old Zip, huh?

No, I ain't getting tired of old Zip.

Don't you lie to me.


♪ I'm lookin' at the world from above all ♪

♪ That I've been livin' in ♪

♪ I've lost my wife, my family and friends ♪

♪ And it seems that everything rhymes with wrong ♪

♪ And all I got left is a sad sad song ♪

Call it. Tails.

Got it.

Shoot stick. You're in trouble already, son.

Big John, what you wanna go over to Homicide for?

Ah, Zip!

I just can't spend the rest of my life on a motorcycle.

Out there in that desert getting heat stroke, listening to you pass air outta both ends at the same time.

That just ain't my idea of being a cop, partner.

Hey, we got a good life on these motors.

You put in your time, you go home, and you get your money.

What could be more simple?

I can't argue.

It just ain't my dream.

Dreaming's part of the game, Zip.

Ain't you got a dream? Sure.

I dream...

For a Stroker.

About 1,400cc's worth, tucked into a '74 straight legged chrome frame kicked.

16-inch Ricon mag rear wheels.

With a chrome sprocket, chrome chain, chrome spokes, a chrome tranny, a chrome puddy, and an 8-inch extended sportster fork with a chrome dog bone.

T.T. Pipes, brass rocker boxes, couple of quartz-eyed dyed running lights.

And a full Farron you can really get behind.

Excuse me.

Contoured seat with a two-foot poor boy cissy bar.

Hit it on.

And no squawk box, but a telephone.

And an AM/FM and an insulated cocktail bar in the left pocket.

To me, Big John, that's a real motor scooter.

What you wanna go over to Homicide for?

You got the money for it, Zip? Not a dime.

I'm just dreamin'.

Well, see, my dream don't cost a nickel.

All I want is that brown suit and that Stetson hat... and four wheels under me instead of two.

And that badge that says, "Boy...

"you're getting paid to think, "not get calluses on your ass."

You're just hungry to be one of them glamour boys, ain't you?

Yes.


Hey, Zipper, what the hell is that out there?

Let's get him, Zip!

Okay. Let's round him up!

Stay with him, cowboy.


Where the hell did he go?

I don't know. The last time I saw him, he was right there.

Well, he ain't there now.

That's brilliant, John.

You stay here, I'll flush him out.

Okay!

Hey! Come here, John!

It's okay, Willie.

Hey, Zip, it's old Willie.

Oh, Jesus, why?! It's all right.

Oh, Jesus! Why?!

Jesus, why? Hold it, Willie.

Why? It's okay, Willie.

Jesus, why? It's me. John Wintergreen.

It's okay, Willie.

Hold it, Willie, hold it.

What are you doing out here, Willie?

What are you doing out here? Frank.

Frank? Frank. I know Frank.

Frank killed himself! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Where is he, Willie? Where is Frank?

Where is Frank?

In the shack! Oh, God! In the shack. Okay, okay.

Stay with him, now, Zip. Stay with him, Zip!

And get a call in, you hear?

You'll be all right, Willie.

Hey, Big John, why can't you wait?

You just stay here with him.


Take notes, John. Gotta take notes.

Gotta take notes, John.

Take notes, John.

Take notes.

Body...

Point number 4... Yes.

See, there are pork chop bones in the garbage can.

Now, if we get those bones to the lab, we can determine exactly when those pork chops were cooked.

You got that, Doc?

Except we're not interested in when the pork chops died.

We're interested in when Frank here kicked the bucket.

Yeah, right.

Now, you see, some of the buckshot embedded itself in this loaf of bread and when we cut the loaf of bread open, we're gonna make an exact judgment on the trajectory of the buckshot.

Doc, don't do that. Hold it! What are you doin'?!

What are you doing?

Well, I mean, you're touching the gun, you're touching the body.

Yeah, I'm touching the gun, and I'm touching the body.

'Cause this is the gun that shot the man.

Right.

This body is the man that pulled the trigger.

He shot himself.

No, no, no. That's a suicide. If it's a suicide, we don't have a case.

That's it. We don't have a case.

That's no good, Doc, because, you see, I got a whole theory here.

I mean, the pork chop, that's nothin'.

My notes here, I can give you a whole...

We haven't got anything.

There hasn't been a murder, the man shot himself, and we're not interested in your pork chops, your loaves of bread, or your notes.

Get that through your head.

No. No.

It ain't gonna be that way, Doc.

Say, I am the officer in charge here.

Now, that is my body, and that's my gun, and you keep your hands off of them, you got it?!

Who do you think you're talking to?!

Hey, hey, cool it!

Don't be messing around now, Zip. Ryker's here.

You know what this guy is doing? He's trying to steal my case.

He can hear everything you're saying in here.

I don't give a damn!

You listen to me, hatchet artist. You're tampering with evidence.

And if you put your finger on one more thing in this room, I'm gonna bust your ass.

That's right, the officer in charge is talking to you, and he's saying that you're gonna be arrested as an accessory after the fact in a murder case!

Will you listen to me, son? I've had a lot of patience with you.

You want to be a policeman. You wanna stay on the force.

You just get the hell out of here and get on that motorcycle and start tagging automobiles, because if I hear one more peep out of that goddamn yap of yours, I'm gonna see that you go to Siberia!

I'm the coroner here!

And I know what's going on! Well, I am the officer in charge!

Wintergreen is the name. John Wintergreen.

And you keep your damn hands-- Get him out of here. - Hey!

Sergeant, you know what's going on here? Knock it off! Come on, man. Get out of here.

Get on that motorcycle and get outta here!

What do we got, Doc, suicide? Jesus Christ!

I just got through with him, I gotta put up with you?!

Get the hell out of here. All right, all right.

You goddamn boys in blue are driving me up the wall!

Why did you have to shoot yourself in my jurisdiction?

It don't fit, Zipper. I tell you, there's something wrong here.

There's something wrong here, and that's a fact.

There is no man... There is no man... Nobody goes and takes a shotgun and shoots themself in the chest when there's a chance that they're gonna bleed to death for hours.

No, sir! They go right for the head. John.

Everything above the neck comes off.

That's it.

This was my chance, Zipper.

I could've made it this time, and I'm ready for it, too.

I tell you, this is a murder.

I know it, and they're gonna make it look like a suicide, and they're gonna blow my chance for me.

I coulda proved it, too, Zipper.

Officer? Yes, sir.

What's your name? Wintergreen, sir.

Ryker, you think there's any need for an investigation?

Well, no, sir, I don't think so.

You don't, huh?

Doc!

Hi, Doc. Harve.

You think there's any need for an investigation?

Harve, my office is already over-budget and the council's on my back.

You want me to blow another thousand for an autopsy on some old bastard nobody gives a damn about?

Well, psychologically, I'd like to know why the old guy shot himself in the chest instead of the head, wouldn't you?

All right. I'll cut him up for you.

Glad you feel that way about it, Doc.

Incompetence is the worst form of corruption.

I'm glad there's somebody around here who understands that.

The pericardial sac is not filled with a great deal of blood.

That's really surprising. You'd think he probably bled a lot.

Well, it's hard to say.

I can aspirate about 2 or 3 hundred cc's from the left plural cavity.

About 150 from the right.

Okay.

I'm going to do the standard evisceration here.

All right.

The posterior aspect of the chest is riddled with shotgun pellets.

Hello! What have we here?

There's a larger object.

Irregular lump of metal about five, six millimeters in diameter.

Come off it, Doc. It's a .22 slug.

Yeah.

That's where it went in. There's virtually no external trace.

This guy was shot in the back of the head.

It looks like he was dead before he decided to commit suicide.

You sure have a nose for it, Harve.

We might've put this guy in a box and buried him and nobody'd ever know.

Have to hand it to you, Harve.

Wintergreen. Yes, sir.

I need a new driver.

We got a murder on our hands.

Yes, sir.

[Most of All by The Moonglows]

♪ Most of all ♪

♪ I want your warm embrace ♪

♪ No one can take your place ♪

♪ I need you most of all ♪

♪ Most of all ♪

♪ The one thing that I, I miss ♪

♪ The way we used to kiss ♪

♪ I need you most of all ♪

♪ When I sleep at night ♪

♪ I dream wonderful, wonderful dreams of you ♪

♪ And when I'm awake ♪

♪ No one's there and that's why ♪

♪ I'm so blue ♪

♪ Most of all ♪

♪ The one thing that I, I miss ♪

♪ The way we used to kiss ♪

♪ I need you most of all ♪♪


Excuse me, do you know Harve Poole?

Sure.

Well, you see, I'm his new driver.

Harve's in the can. Oh, oh.

Well, could you tell him his car's waiting outside for him?

Come on over here, friend. Sit down here.

Come on, come on, come on. Go ahead.

So, I get this call, see, it says I got trouble with a coon on my roof.

Hey, Big John. You playin' with the big boys today?

Oh, you look so good!

You finally graduated, huh?

Well, I'll be over tonight and give you your diploma.

I'll be there. You better be.

Are you still split up? She's after me.

Is she?

Gin.

Deal me out.

Any of you juicers play gin?

Hey, kid. Wanna play in this game? A quarter a hand.

No. No, thanks. I don't play cards.

I always lose.

This here's a winner's circle, Wintergreen.

Your beer's on the table, Harve.

Only losers I deal in are in the jail or in the morgue.

They all don't belong there.

Well, well, well.

John Wintergreen.

Al here, he's our griper.

He complains about the brass.

He complains about the system.

And you know what?

He'll probably end up being the first cop we carry out in a box.

Everybody doesn't hate you for helping them, Harve.

Nine cops gunned down in two years? You call that casual statistics?

A goddamned open season.

The conspiracy's reaching out national proportions.

This country is undergoing a precisely formulated conspiracy of police genocide.

A carefully organized plan of civilian brutality, and it's just around the corner.

And the sooner we get to dealing with it, the sooner I get to save your precious ass from some nigger waiting in the bushes ready to nail ya.

You want to be a detective, Wintergreen?

What you need is a hook, my man.

And right now, I am your hook.

Let's eat, gentlemen.

# Come and around me stand #

All right, all right, all right. Wait a second, wait a second.

Hi, Willie. Willie!

Remember me?

John Wintergreen. Remember?

This is Harve Poole.

He's gonna help. He's a detective.

See there? Pretty.

Don't touch. Don't touch the badge.

Willie, can you tell Harve about when you came down off of the Superstition Mountain?

And you went to the shack, remember?

Superstition. Oh!

Just that day, I come off the Superstition.

And just that day, I opened the door to the shack.

And that's when I saw him.

Who's got the Batman? Who's got the Batman?

Who got the Batman, huh? Who got the Batman, huh?

How long were you up there, Willie? Willie?

Willie, how long were you up on the mountain?

Two, three months, maybe.

Can you prove you were up there that long?

I don't carry no time clock.

What in the hell he think I go up there for?

All right, you came down from the mountain, you went to Frank's.

Is that your story, Willie?

I only got two friends in the world.

Frank and Superstition.

You fellas lock the door to the cabin?

Oh, sure, Willie. Promise. Oh, thanks.

There have been a lot of strange, funny people hanging around there the last year.

What do you mean funny people?

I guess I don't mean people.

What, Willie? What do you mean?

Kids. Kids?

Did you... Why?

Why did Frank kill himself?

He didn't kill himself, Willie.

We're talking about murder.

See, somebody killed Frank, Willie.

He didn't kill himself. Somebody killed him. Murder?

Somebody killed him.

5,000.

5,000. What 5,000, Willie?

Frank had 5,000 stashed in that shack.

Where, Willie? Where?

I don't know.

You find the 5,000, and you find out why.

What does that mean?

What does that mean?

Greed, you asshole! Greed!

Here's the Batman. Let it go!

Let it go! You give it back!

Give it back! Let my friend alone!

Let my friend alone!

You hear anything, Wintergreen? Sir?

No.

The night is talking to us, Wintergreen.

Sit down and listen.

Okay.

When the night talks to you, you gotta listen, Wintergreen.

Look at that moon.

Listen to that desert.

That desert's gonna help me solve a murder.

Does that sound strange to you, Wintergreen?

Well, there's college as education, there's learning, there's knowledge, and then... there's wisdom.

And that's what old Harve has got... wisdom.

Wisdom is like religion.

What's your religion, Wintergreen?

Well, I don't go too much with that Jesus and things like that, but I do kind of believe a little bit in reincarnation.

My religion is myself.

When I talk to myself, I'm talking to the whole world, Wintergreen.

And right now the whole world is answering me.

Right inside that house are the answers to a murder.

But you know where I'm gonna find my answers?

Right inside here, Wintergreen. Inside here.

A man's gotta listen to his inner voice.

It's a God-given gift. And don't you forget it.

Well, let's go on inside and see what's going on.

Wintergreen, I wanna make you the best damn detective in Arizona.


We looking for the 5,000, Harve?

No.

If we were looking for a million, it wouldn't solve the murder, would it?

No.

We're...

We're not looking for the 5,000, Wintergreen.

What are we looking for, Harve?

Well, we're looking for something that... that don't belong.

Jesus is talking to me, Wintergreen.

I think I hear Jesus talking to me.

Now...

What do you suppose a 70-year-old man would be doing with a lot of reds?

Eatin' 'em or...

...Sellin' 'em.

I gotta hand it to ya, Harve.

You sure knew you were looking for something.

Yeah, Wintergreen, and I'm looking for something now.

Robert W. Zemko.

You figure Zemko's the one, huh?

Well, Wintergreen, when you find a load of dope and fingerprints of a convicted dealer, it don't take a brain like Harve Poole to know you got a prime suspect.

Right, Harve.

I never would've figured old Frank to be a dealer.

You wouldn't, huh?

You just watch me, Harve.

If Zemko's around here, I'm gonna find him.

You will, huh?

Well, go to it, Wintergreen.

Okay, Harve.


Good morning. Morning.

I'm Officer John Wintergreen, and I don't mean to harass you any, but I'd like to get some information.

I got some information. Oh, good.

You're standing in pig shit.

That's all you wanna know? Yes. Thank you very much.

Don't you wanna meet my pigs? No, no, no, thank you.


See you later.

Good morning. Good morning.

Do you know Bob Zemko? No, I don't.

Hi, there. Hi.

Are you on a Bob Zemko hunt?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Come on. We'll help you find him.

Thank you very much.

This is very, very nice of you people.

Hey, people, gather around!

The little chief would like to say a few words to us.

Thank you.

My name is John Wintergreen, Officer John Wintergreen, and we're looking for a fellow named Bob Zemko.

Anybody know him?

Bob Zemko? Anybody know him?

Thank you.

Okay. Bob Zemko.

No?

Well, all right.

Thank you very much.

Now, in the interest of police community relations, if any of you know him or hear from him, I would like for you to get in touch with me.

For sure.

You've been very cooperative. Thank you.

Bye-bye, little chief. Bye.

See you later, man. Good-bye, now.

Thank you very much. Watch your step, officer.

Okay. Oh, Harve!

I checked the whole place out, and Zemko isn't there, and they don't know him.

So, we can go if you want to.

Looks like you stepped in a little community relations.

In the interest of community relations, as my partner suggests, I don't wanna shoot anybody today.

Now, the little fella tells me you don't know where Bob Zemko is.

He's broken the law.

We're making an effort to find him.

We only wanna do our job and keep our friendly relations with the community.

Now, once more, has anyone seen him or know anything about him?

What'd you say, son?

Have we improved communications yet?

Are you listening to me?

I don't think he's listening to me.

You know, officer, we're not hassling you.

We don't know anything about Bob Zemko or where he is.

Really.

Do you understand?

Yeah, I guess I was out of line, huh?

I want you all to excuse me.

Yes, sir.

I'm getting impatient!

Somebody talk to me.

Hey, I know Bob Zemko.

Come on.


I got a Coke and Fresca and a Tab. I didn't know which one you'd like.

Wintergreen. Yes, sir.

Come here a minute, please.

Well, Harve, did you find out anything about Zemko?

Yeah, she told me the last time she saw him, he was heading north.

We got an APB out on him.

Her old man's coming over from Crown Drive, be here any minute.

Make sure she gets in the car.

Yes, sir. Wintergreen.

Let me tell you something, a little something about police work and women.

If you mix the two, you can't do justice to either one.

You get my point? Yes, sir.

I like to find myself here about this time every evening, Wintergreen.

There's a fine young lady I'd like to introduce you to.

Fine young lady.

Brought a lot of happiness into my life.


Well, well, well! My two knights in shining armor.

Mr. Tall and Mr. Small.

I'm sorry, but the place is closed.

Hey, that don't matter, because you're both very special.

Come on in, gentlemen.

You ready to leave?

Harve, you're always on duty. Run, run, run, run.

You can't relax.

But you know how to relax, don't you, Johnny?

Drinks for the gangbusters!

Zap, zap! You're dead!

And I'm offering you my hospitality, and it ain't nice to say no.

So, close the door, Harve. I ain't gonna bite you.

One drink, Jolene. Then I'm gonna take you home.

Well, I wanna hear music, Harve.

Don't you wanna hear music?

You like music, don't you, Johnny?

I know you like music.

Let's see, now.

You got your hat, and you got your badge, and you got your boots.

You got it all, don't you, Johnny? You got everything.

You got it all, don't ya? You're happy, aren't you, Johnny?

Well, I know just the tune that'll fit ya.

You like to dance, Johnny, huh?

Harve doesn't like to dance. Do you, Harve?

You don't like anything, do you?

But I like to dance.

Do you know I used to be a dancer, Harve, huh?

Do you know I used to be a dancer?

I used to be a Rockette for a year in New York.

I really ground them out. Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Did you know that I had my very own dance team?

I sure did.

By God, I sure did.

Right there I am.

My very own dance team.

Yeah.

There I am just before I left for Hollywood.

Miss Peaches and Cream, Miss Nice, Miss Naive.

Hollywood.

Just saying that word means magic time to me.

I can remember when I was a little girl.

I used to sit in a movie all by myself.

I used to watch those movie stars, and they just looked like they was having the best time.

I couldn't imagine it, being a movie star.

I just wanted to jump up out of my seat, step into that picture, just touch 'em and be with them like they were surrounded by a big rainbow.

Like nothing could get to 'em.

I just wanted my life to be one long, beautiful movie.

But I never got to Hollywood.

No, I never did. I never did.

And then I met my salesman.

Oh, God, how I loved my salesman.

His name was Jim.

We got married.

He wanted kids.

I didn't want any. I wanted my career.

And I lost him.

I lost everything.

And I ended up here.

And that's... when I had my first wild affair with a policeman.

John Wintergreen, you were not my first policeman.

No way. No way.

You weren't supposed to hear that, Harve.

You just make believe that you didn't even hear that, okay?

Because I'm still your sweet, little innocent Jolene.

Why, you know that I'm still the girl next door.

And you know what, Harve?

There ain't a cop in town who'll tell you any different.

Right, Johnny? Tell him.

Tell him all about it.

Come on, Johnny. Come on.

Let the good times roll.

Don't worry about old Harve.

Maybe we can teach him something, huh?

Maybe we can teach old Harve something.

Come on, Johnny. Come on, baby.

Show him how you do it!

Show him what you do to me!

Come on, Johnny.

Show him how you do it.


It's all right, Harve.

Come on, Harve.

Come on, baby. It's gonna be okay.

Come on.

Everything's gonna be all right.

I still like you, Harve.

I'll always like you.

Big John... I love Big John.

'Cause he makes me feel so good.

But you're king of the mountain, Harve.

You'll always be king of the mountain, Harve.

Sure you will.

It's just that Johnny can do it three times in the morning, Harve.

And you can't do it at all.


Wintergreen!

Jolene's a colorful girl. She's... lonely.

Sometimes she drinks a little too much.

Likes to play her little games.

Make her daddy angry.

But I want you to know, and I know that you do, that not one word of what she said back there is the truth.

Jolene and I have had a long, wonderful relationship.

And it should not have been interfered with by you.

What I'm trying to say is Jolene is... is my woman, and you shoulda kept your hands off her!

There was no reason for you two to...

Because she's contented!

You know what that means, Wintergreen?

It's contented!

Jolene's...

You...

Goddamn you!

You ever touch her again, I'Il...

Don't you tell anybody.

You hear me, Wintergreen?

Don't you tell anybody!

You tell anybody, I'll kill you!

Hey, Big John, what you want to read?

I got Buck Rogers, Plastic Man.

Hey, I even got ol' Pogo.

Nah. No Pogo today.

John, you gotta get a better attitude towards things.

Look at us. Look what a sweet life we got.

Yeah, look at us.

What am I looking at?

See up there?

Bikes, it looks like.

Gee-mo-nettie!

Wonder Woman. You ever read that?

I hate that motorcycle they make me ride.

I'm here to tell you there ain't nothing in the world I hate worse than that elephant under my ass.

Boy! Look at this meat and potatoes, John.

Man! That Wonder Woman is really built.

Them kiddies are coming this way.

You want some sunflower fritees?

Zipper, you got a blast furnace for a gut.

You could live off beer cans and horseshoes.

It's my attitude.

You got an attitude.

Look here. Ain't she about the prettiest thing you ever saw?

Hey, Zipper! Let's take a little ride.

I ain't leavin' the shade. They got some ladies with 'em.


You wanna go get 'em? Let's do it.

Zipper, that's Zemko! That's the guy I'm looking for!

Hey, it's the cops. Let's go!

Let's go get him, Zipper!

Cops, cops! Move out!


Shit!

Hey! Wait a minute!


No! Goddamn you, Zipper!

Damn your ass!


You little shit! John!


Where would a freak like you get $3,700, Zemko?

Busting gumball machines? Cashing the pennies in?

Or did you find the money in the shack?


We found three sets of your prints in that shack, which makes me think that you're not too bright.

But I suppose you're gonna tell me you dropped in for a cup of tea, is that right?

No, sir. You bet it isn't!

Because we found a half a bushel of dope in that shack.

We...

We also know you were busted for dope in Vietnam, and you got a track record here as long as the Gettysburg Address.

Now, what does that add up to? Well, I'll tell you, son.

We ain't talking about dope. We're talking about murder!

Cold-blooded, premeditated, first degree murder!

What do you want me to tell you, sir?

You better think of something, son!

Because I'm moved to work you over.

I'm moved to bust your kidneys!

And I won't leave a trace. Not a mark on you!

You hear what I'm saying to you?!

I'll work you over till you wished you died last year, you hear me?!

Get outta here, Wintergreen!


Hey, now, get back. Get off the stage. Come on, back up.


Yeah, well, the truth of the matter is, John Wintergreen, you don't your ass from a row of rat shit in a wind storm.

Hi, there.

I'm talking to myself. But I ain't listening.

You're supposed to listen to your inner voices.

They tell you what to do.

Ain't that funny how people do all kind of things, and most of it, it's just a lot of bullshit.

You know what?

90% of the things that I've done in my life ain't as important as you sweeping that floor, or sitting there eating your sandwich. You know why?

'Cause you listen to yourself.

Me, I listen to everybody in the whole damn world except me.

I'd like to start all over again.

Ain't that the damnedest thing?

My old man used to listen to himself.

And when he died, they told me it was a thrombosis.

But I know it was suicide.

Loneliness.

Do you know that loneliness'll kill you deader than a .357 Magnum?

Did you know that?

Old Frank is dead. Boy, blowed in half. I saw him.

And I know who killed him.

Now, ain't that the damnedest thing?

I just listen to myself, and I know who killed him.

Ain't that the damnedest thing?

# Come and around me stand #

# Oh, bear me away on your snowy wings #

# To my immortal home #

# Oh, bear me away on your snowy wings #

# To my immortal home # Billie?

# Come, come, angel band #

You listen to me, Willie.

You're not gonna sit out here all alone and die.

I ain't gonna let you.

Now, I figured it out. It was you that killed Frank.

I know that. It couldn't have been nobody else, Willie.

But it's all right, 'cause we're gonna get you some help.

And you'll do some time, but you won't be lonely anymore, Willie.

No more.

I wasn't lonely when Frank was here.

I was lonely years ago.

But Frank and me and the Superstition, we hit it off real good.

But Frank left me.

He left me long before I killed him.

He left me and he went off with them young kids and...

We used to sit in the shack together, but Frank, he wasn't there no more.

No. He was off with them young kids, laughing and joking and being different.

I remember back in '42, when Frank and me found each other.

Frank used to get mad at me.

But I'd just go on up in the Superstitions.

I'd dig up some rocks and I'd go back.

He wouldn't be mad no more.

But then he went off with them kids.

And he wouldn't listen to me.

I tried to make him listen, but he wouldn't.

He wouldn't believe me.

And now I gotta go back to the Superstition.

No, you don't, Willie.

No, you don't. It's gonna be okay.

You won't be lonely no more. Nobody's gonna get mad at you, Willie.

Nothing matters. I promise you.

It does too matter. No, it doesn't.

Nothing matters no more.

It does, Willie. You matter, Willie.

What? Are you one of them?

Are you one of them who Frank went off with?

No, no, Willie.

I'm one of them who's gonna stay here with you.

You get your bird, Willie.

# Come, come, angel band #

# Come and around me stand #

# Bear me away on your snowy wings #

# To my immortal home #

# Please bear me away #

You sing, Willie. # Please bear me away #

# Come, Come # # To my immortal home #

You stay here just for a minute, Willie.

You stay there now, Willie.

I'll be right back, now. I'll be right back, Willie.

You sing, Willie.

No, it's okay. Just leave him alone, please?

# Angel band #

Get in the car, Willie.

Now, you remember what I promised you, Willie.

Wherever they take you tomorrow, I'm gonna come and see you.

You watch for me.

You ever been up in the Superstition Mountains, boy?

I know places there that nobody's ever seen.

I wanna see 'em, Willie.

You watch for me, now.

Wintergreen!

What's the story?

Well, Frank was dealing, all right.

Must've been, 'cause he liked having young folks around.

I guess old people get that way.

Kids would come and have a good time.

I suppose Frank did, too.

Willie got jealous.

And that's the way it was.

Zemko didn't have nothing to do with the killing.

Just like that, huh?

That's right, Harve.

Somebody died over loneliness.

Sometimes it's just that simple.

What about the murder weapon?

I don't know nothing about that.

All I know is that Willie killed Frank, 'cause he was old and scared, tired and lonely.

We ripped up his house, didn't we?

Why don't you go out there and dig up the whole world?

Maybe you can find the gun.

What about the $3,700 we found on the kid?

It was his own. Saved it, something.

That simple?

That's right, Sarge. Just that simple.

Why didn't he tell anyone? Oh, he told somebody.

But old Harve didn't believe him.

Suppose that's right.

What happened to Frank's 5,000?

I don't know.

Maybe there never was any 5,000. I don't even care.

You haven't got a case, Wintergreen.

I don't care about having a case, Harve. Wintergreen!

All I care about is that you were wrong.

You beat up them kids down at the commune, they didn't do nothing to you, and you were wrong for that.

And you beat up Zemko, and he was telling you the truth, and you were wrong for that, and Willie told you the truth.

You've been wrong all along, Harve.

And you can take that cigar and that suit and the badge, and you can give 'em to some other scared little mouse who'll believe your horse shit.

You're full of horse shit, Harve.


You old drunken toad.

Detective Wintergreen.

Come over here.


Oh, no, Zipper.

It was just laying there, Big John.

I had to take it.

What was he gonna do with all that money?

If it hadn't been just laying there, I wouldn't have taken it.

You believe that, don't you?

That kid Zemko was going over. Zipper, you were gonna let him.

You know what that makes you? Do you?

We only get what's coming to us.

What I got coming to me...

Sweet Jesus, I'm scared!

Don't be scared now, Zipper.

Now, now, we'll fix it.

We'll talk to Ryker.

That's what we'll do. Come on, now.

I'm scared, John.

They're gonna know me.

Oh, Daddy!

They're all gonna know me now!

Daddy, what should I do, Daddy?

Everybody's gotta know me.

All you proper coppers.

I'm Zipper the Slipper.

So everything goes.

The Electra Glide goes, my police motor goes, my badge goes, my gun goes, my uniform, my pension goes.

Everything goes.

But that's supposed to be all right with me.

Because that's proper police procedure.

No. No, no, no!

You do what you gotta do, Big John.

I mean, you do what's right, man.

P.P.P.

Proper Police Procedure.

Officer Wintergreen!

I'm gonna blow your rotten little heart out!

No!

Zipper! Now, come on, Zipper.

Come on, now, Zip!

Cut it out, Zipper!

No, Zipper! Now, stop it! Damn you!

You're killing people, Zipper! Will you quit it?!

Zipper?

Zipper? Zipper?

Don't die, Zipper. Come on, man.

Don't die!

Get up, Zipper.

Get up, Zipper.

Oh, God! Don't die, Zip.

Don't die.

Zipper. Don't die, Zipper.

Oh, God!


Oh, man! We're getting cracked, man.

We're getting cracked. I'm freaking out, man.

Just take it easy, Hank. Just take it easy.

Sweet talk him good. Just sweet talk him.


Can I see your license, please? Good morning.

You know, you need a front bumper here.

Good morning.

Don't I know you?

I owe you one, don't I?

Go on, get out of here.

Hey! Get a bumper on that thing before you get a ticket, will you?

Outta sight.


Hey!

Hey!


[Tell me by James William Guercio]

♪ Tell me ♪

♪ About the sun ♪

♪ Tell me ♪

♪ About the rain ♪

♪ Tell me ♪

♪ About the fields ♪

♪ Tell me ♪

♪ About the plains ♪

♪ Will they come again? ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ Will they ever come again? ♪

♪ I don't know ♪

♪ God above, is there not anything ♪

♪ That we might do ♪

♪ To try and make this world of ours ♪

♪ A better place for me and you ♪

♪ Oh, tell me ♪

♪ All about man ♪

♪ Tell me ♪

♪ So I can understand ♪

♪ Tell me somebody ♪

♪ All about wars ♪

♪ Please try and tell me ♪

♪ Just how much more ♪

♪ Oh, pray it's not too late ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

♪ Please everybody pray it's not too late ♪


[Chorus] ♪ God bless America today ♪♪