^.^.^.^.subtitles by.^.^.^.^ ® Sud_Arun collections ®
MADDY : This is my favorite room.
Most days I love it, because I can imagine the glass falling away and I'm outside.
I don't leave my house.
I haven't left my house in 17 years.
If I went outside, I'd die.
Sorry to sound morose.
Irradiators sterilize my clothes.
I own 100 white T-shirts.
It's my standard uniform.
The airlock is a sealed room surrounding the front door.
Nothing can leak into the house when the door's open.
It's not that I don't want to go outside.
Simple viruses can kill me. It's like I'm allergic to everything.
What I eat, what I touch, they all have consequences.
I have severe combined immunodeficiency.
My immune system sucks.
Here's a drawing to explain.
In every drop of blood there are special cells called lymphocytes.
LYMPHOCYTE 1 : Hello.
Some of these lymphocytes are really good at fighting bad guys, - like viruses and bacteria. (LYMPHOCYTE 1 LAUGHING)
But I have SCID, which means I have way fewer lymphocytes than normal.
LYMPHOCYTE 1 : Uh-Oh. (LYMPHOCYTE 2 EXCLAIMS)
And the ones that I do have, (LYMPHOCYTE 1 GROANING) well, they're not so good at fighting.
My mom made me join a support group.
Some of them are really sick.
Others have a hard time with social interactions.
At least I have the Internet.
I read a lot of books.
When I'm done, I write short reviews.
I take an architecture class online.
Whenever I make a new model, I put an astronaut inside.
I can relate to him.
I feel like an astronaut, stranded in space.
Every day feels exactly the same.
Maybe today's different.
JOE : Get off the truck, Olly.
MADDY : If you're going to have an illness that requires someone to constantly watch if you're still breathing, it's convenient for your mother to be a doctor.
I was diagnosed with SCID pretty early.
My mom figured out what was wrong with me after eight ear infections and two cases of pneumonia.
I couldn't gain any weight as a baby.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
Most kids don't make it past two years old.
MADDY : Today's my birthday.
Which means nothing inside here.
This is the face her patients normally see, slightly distant, concerned.
I wonder if they find it comforting.
You didn't have to take the day off.
I always take the day off.
What do you want to do today?
Same thing we always do.
What does that say?
(CHUCKLES) Spotlight. (LAUGHING) No, it doesn't.
MADDY : You're not good at phonetic Scrabble.
PAULINE : Because it doesn't make any sense.
You're the one who always wants to play.
It was your dad's favorite game.
Did he beat you, too?
But he let me win sometimes.
- I can't do that. Why not?
(SIGHS) I'm in love with you.
(PAULINE AND MADDY CHUCKLING)
Snap out of it!
(DOORBELL RINGS) - I can't.
I'll get it.
Stay here. (CHUCKLES)
WOMAN : (ON TV) And you won't come to the wedding.
MAN : I'll come to the wedding.
WOMAN : I am telling you, you can't come.
(DOOR LOCK BEEPS)
(DOOR LOCK BEEPS) (DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR LOCK BEEPS)
Um, my mom sent a Bundt. It's not very good.
It's kind of a thing our mom does every time we move in somewhere.
She'll make us bring one to the neighbor, so...
It's actually more of, uh, an apology than an introduction. (CHUCKLES)
What's she apologizing for?
For moving in.
(STUTTERING) Oh, that's nice.
Actually, I can't accept that.
But please thank your mother for me, and welcome to the neighborhood.
Is your daughter around?
So, that's why you came.
OLLY : That's not why I came. KAYRA : Yeah, it is. Yep.
No, she isn't.
(DOOR LOCK BEEPS)
You take the Bundt next time.
KAYRA : Oh, right. Wear it as a hat.
(KAYRA AND OLLY LAUGHING)
JOE : Watch it.
PAULINE : Madeline, do you want to finish the movie?
I'd rather know what a Bundt cake tastes like.
You're not missing out on anything.
(IN LOW VOICE) No, just everything.
MADDY : There's a short list of people that know I'm alive.
My mom, my nurse, Carla, and her daughter, Rosa.
I can't remember Carla not being with us.
She's been working here for 15 years.
Sometimes, I think she's trapped inside here with me.
Morning, Carla. Mmm-hmm.
- Feliz cumpleaños. (BOTH CHUCKLE)
Thank you! (SPEAKS SPANISH)
Thank you so much.
Ooh, una nota. (CHUCKLES)
(CLICKING CONTINUES INTERMITTENTLY)
(SOFTLY) That's terrible.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
(CELL PHONES CONTINUE CHIMING)
(MOUTHING) Hi, Olly.
(MOUTHING) Hi, Maddy.
MADDY : I tell myself I won't text back immediately when Olly texts me.
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
And then I text back. Immediately.
Are you on house arrest?
Why do you think I'm on house arrest?
'Cause I haven't seen you outside once since we got here.
I'm not on house arrest, but I can't leave the house.
Are you a ghost?
'Cause, it would just my luck that the girl next door is not actually alive.
(CHUCKLING) I'm, like, 98% sure that I'm alive.
So, what is it? Is it a guy? Are you knocked up?
Oh, my God. Well, what if I was?
(CHUCKLES) I'd be conflicted.
(CHUCKLES) About what?
Do you have a boyfriend?
No. I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not pregnant.
Have you spent all day thinking that I was pregnant?
Yeah, kind of.
I mean, it would have been awkward flirting with a pregnant girl, so...
Don't you wanna know if I have a girlfriend?
I mean, that stings. (MADDY CHUCKLES)
So, where'd you move here from?
Boston, but I'm from New York.
I wanna move back.
I always imagined myself working in a bakery in New York.
You know, like Nicolas Cage in that movie, Moonstruck?
"Snap out of it!"
It's from the movie.
Yeah, I figured.
OLLY : All right, here's a game. Fast Five Favorites.
Okay? MADDY : Okay.
So, book, word, color, vice, person.
Um... (SIGHS) Okay. All right. Um...
So, I guess...
Come on. Type faster. Don't think about it.
(CHUCKLES) Okay. All right. The Little Prince.
I don't have any vices.
And my mom.
Oh, come on. Everyone has vices.
How many vices do you have?
Enough to choose a favorite.
(CHUCKLES) Your turn. All right.
- Lord of the Flies. Uh-huh.
Uh, petty theft.
And my sister.
Lord of the Flies?
So, you're bleak.
I've been told that I have a poor outlook on life.
MADDY : Right.
Are your parents still together?
Um, my dad's dead, so, no.
Whoa, that was really awkward. I don't know why I made that so...
I shouldn't have asked. No, it's, um...
He died in a car accident with my brother.
You don't go to SF Valley High?
No, I don't go to school.
I go online.
Oh, are you dying?
Not right now.
If I left the house, yeah, probably.
What is it?
It's called severe combined immunodeficiency.
So, it means my body can't fight bacteria or infections.
Is there a cure?
For common kinds of SCID, yeah.
But I am very uncommon. (CHUCKLES)
You're feeling sorry for me. (EXHALES)
You're totally feeling sorry for me.
No, no, no. I, um...
(GRUNTS) (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
I'm not feeling sorry for you.
Uh-huh. You're alive now.
You have the Internet. Mmm-hmm.
So, I don't feel sorry for you.
I wish I could meet you in person.
Yeah. Me, too.
Wait, come to the window. (CELL PHONE CHIMES)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
What's so interesting on that laptop?
It's not nothing.
Something's making you laugh.
It's just cat videos.
You don't wanna see this one, Carla.
The cat dies.
You're an idiot. (CHUCKLES)
I'm not an idiot.
You are an idiot, and you're not a good liar.
You mean to tell me that the only thing you could think to say was that it was a dead cat?
So, you know?
If I didn't know before, I do now.
You're not very good at hiding things.
I see you checking your email and looking for him out the window.
Maybe he could visit?
Teenagers are all the same.
Is that a no?
He'd get decontaminated, and it would just be for a half hour.
Are you crazy?
Wouldn't you be if you'd been inside for 18 years?
He'd get decontaminated, and then he'd sit across the room from me, like, far, far away.
We can't always get what we want.
Your mother would never let you.
We don't have to tell her.
(STAMMERS) Is it that easy to lie?
You know, it's easier than I thought.
You know what, I'm gonna go home and look on Rosa's Internet history.
MADDY : Rosa's the only other person allowed inside, but she's leaving for Michigan in the fall.
She'll meet new people, and I'll still be here.
What does he look like?
Okay, I guess he's cute.
I don't believe you.
Yeah, maybe he is a figment of my imagination.
Just like a really good-looking mirage.
Things are finally getting interesting for you.
And I'm leaving.
What are you guys talking about?
BOTH : Nothing.
Come on, Rosa, it's time for us to go home.
(KNOCKING ON GLASS)
AUTOMATED VOICE : Connected to Oliver Bright's iPhone.
I'm right here.
That was way too easy.
Hey, what you looking at?
Is that a new sweater?
Carla irradiated it.
And where'd you get it?
Mmm, it's nice. You look pretty.
CARLA : You listen to me.
You stay on your side of the room, he stay on his.
I already told him the same thing.
(CHUCKLES) What are you talking about?
You stay on your side, he stays on his.
Nod if you understand.
I'm worried you're losing your motor skills.
Because I'm terrible at saying no.
Because you deserve a little something.
Is that what you're gonna wear?
You just gonna stay over there?
Carla said that I had to stay as far away from you as possible.
You're standing really still.
Maybe you should come in.
I could do that. (CHUCKLES)
You're really different than I thought you were gonna be.
I understand, you're nervous. It's all right, you can admit it.
(CHUCKLES) I am nervous.
All right. Well, so am I.
(SIGHS) I like this room.
Um, my mom built it so that I could feel like I was outside.
Does it work?
I have a really excellent imagination.
Princess Madeline in her glass castle.
I'm not a princess.
Because I'm not a prince.
So, uh, how long have you been sick?
My whole life.
I mean, what would happen if you went outside?
Probably spontaneous combustion.
We'll stay inside.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, that's a good idea.
Have you ever left this house?
Where would you go?
If you could.
The ocean? Why?
Well, it covers 72% of the planet.
And it's approximately 3 miles from here.
And I've never seen it.
(INHALES SHARPLY) It's a bad choice.
I'm assuming you can't swim.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, you're right.
But I'd like to try.
I respect the ocean.
I mean, it's beautiful. It's impersonal, it's murderous.
It's Mother Nature at her finest.
I mean, the point of waves is to suck your feet out from under you so that you drown faster.
Didn't see that dark turn coming.
(BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY)
I'm really good at handstands.
What else can you do?
I'm afraid that's pretty much it.
You didn't touch, right?
BOTH : No.
(CARLA SPEAKS SPANISH)
CARLA : Your face!
What? Is it red?
I can see it.
You're completely gone and you barely know him.
I thought you were on our side!
I'm just facilitating.
Do you, um, think I could see him again?
In a week. I wanna make sure you're okay.
What am I supposed to do until then?
When was the last time you posted a review?
Hey, where are you?
OLLY : Skating in Venice.
I'm sorry, Maddy.
No, no, no. You should enjoy that.
For us both. (CHUCKLES)
OLLY : It's boring without you.
What makes you think that I'd make it any better?
Well, there are no girls here, so who am I supposed to show off to?
So, listen, um, on Tuesday, Carla has the night off, and my mom's working a double shift, so I figured maybe you'd come over And we could watch the fireworks from the sunroom.
That's July Fourth.
Yeah. Do you have plans or something?
- No. I'm not very popular. (CHUCKLES)
Lucky for me then, I guess.
So, um, I guess I'll see you then.
All right. I will see you then, Maddy.
Okay, bye, Olly.
PAULINE : I don't know how Carla and I got our wires crossed.
I don't wanna leave you alone tonight. It's the Fourth of July.
You know, I'll see if someone can cover for me.
You know, I'll be fine.
You sure? Yeah, I'll be okay.
What are you gonna do?
I guess just read a book or something.
So, calculus is the mathematics of change.
It doesn't necessarily predict the future, but it does indicate it.
Well, that people are unpredictable.
I didn't really see you as a math person.
(CHUCKLES) Why not?
I guess 'cause you're in summer school.
(CLEARS THROAT) Right. Well, that's...
That's just 'cause my dad moves around a lot.
This is an ellipsis.
Does that mean that we're having an awkward silence or that you're thinking?
What are you thinking about?
I'm thinking that we should probably agree to just be friends.
I don't think you have that kind of restraint.
Well, my life is an exercise in restraint, so...
Does this mean I can't look at your lips anymore?
I don't have dimples!
You make me wanna stay in Los Angeles.
Why would you go?
What are you doing?
I'm moving closer to you.
Is that okay?
Yes, it's okay.
I should tell you we shouldn't push our luck, but I can't.
I don't want to.
Are you sure?
Hello, Little Prince.
Is it always like that?
It's never like that. (CHUCKLES)
OLLY : Are you sure you're not sick? You feel fine?
Yeah, I feel fine.
Better than fine, actually. I feel pretty perfect.
Even though we touched?
Shared the same breath.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, we did.
Like I said, perfect.
MADDY : I read once that we change the upper layers of our skin every two weeks.
But some of our cells don't renew.
They age, and age us.
In two weeks, my lips will have no memory of kissing Olly.
But my brain will remember.
(DOOR SLAMS OPEN) OLLY : Yeah, that's right, walk away, Dad.
JOE : Leave it alone, Olly.
OLLY : Walk away!
JOE : It's not your problem, okay?
OLLY : It's not my problem? It's not my problem.
You really just say that to me right now?
JOE : Stay out of it!
OLLY : Stay out of it, huh? JOE : Yeah.
Stay out of it. How's that? How's that for staying out of it?
JOE : Really? OLLY : Enough!
(DOOR LOCK BEEPS) (DOOR OPENING)
MADDY : Olly!
Maddy? Maddy, what are you doing? Are you okay?
Are you hurt? Are you okay?
(STUTTERS) I'm okay. What are you doing? Go back inside! Go!
What are you doing?
I don't understand. Why would you do that?
I'm sorry. I had to make sure that he was okay.
Did you touch anything? No.
Did you touch anything?
No, no. It was less than a minute.
A second is all it takes.
Why would you risk your life for a total stranger?
He's not a stranger, is he?
We're just friends online.
How could you?
MADDY : She's right.
Four hours soaking in an antiseptic bath, and I could still wake up tomorrow sick.
Four hours trying to remember everything about being in the world.
I can't remember any of it. Just Olly yelling at me to go inside.
I'm sorry Olly's in that situation.
No one deserves a father like that.
I'm sorry, too.
Does it look like he's okay?
I don't know.
I could have someone talk to him and see if he's all right.
I don't think he wants anyone to know.
He was trying to protect his morn.
He doesn't like to talk about everything.
I knew something was different with you.
I should've known what it was the moment he came offering Bundt cake.
You could've come to me, you know.
I wanted to. I just didn't want to worry you.
What's he like?
Well, he wears black, all of the time. (CHUCKLES)
But he's not as cynical as he looks.
He needs a haircut.
Yeah, he does.
We're both really sleep deprived from talking instead of sleeping.
But I'd rather talk to him than sleep.
When I talk to him, I feel like I'm outside.
He thinks that I'm funny, smart, and beautiful.
In that order. (CHUCKLES)
As he should.
He sounds wonderful.
Yeah, he is.
I wish you could have more than this.
It's not your fault.
Maui was your dad's favorite place.
You were just a few months old, before we knew why you were always sick.
I wish I could remember them.
Maybe it'd be easier if I couldn't.
I love you, you know.
More than you even know.
You can't see him again.
I haven't seen him.
Yes, you have.
CARLA : She was so alone, she needed...
PAULINE : How could you let him into this house?
How could you do this?
How could you invite a stranger in here?
CARLA : She needed it.
It's not up to you to decide what she needs. I am her mother!
You shouldn't be her doctor, too.
PAULINE : Excuse me.
CARLA : Is she sick? Did something happen?
She went outside because of him. Because of you!
And she's been lying to me for weeks.
You have to go.
MADDY : Please, Mom.
It won't happen again.
No, it won't.
I'm sorry, Carla.
I know this is sad for you both.
It is sad for me, too, but it is time for Carla to leave, now.
Your temperature is 103.
We have to wait and see if it goes down.
If the fluids and antibiotics work.
(MOUTHING) I'm not.
Good morning, Madeline.
You may address me as Nurse Janet or Mrs. Pritchert.
Whichever you prefer.
Words spoken to the air tend to go unheeded.
Words put to paper do not.
I miss Carla.
Well, Carla almost got you killed.
She's my friend.
No, Madeline. Carla was your nurse.
She was supposed to keep you safe, not endanger your life by inviting strangers into the house.
Olly isn't a stranger.
He's not yours.
He's not yours.
And maybe he's interested in you now, but he's out there.
And he's gonna meet some girl and he's gonna be her Olly.
You understand me?
If Carla was your friend, she would have told you that.
Love can't kill me, Morn.
That's not true.
You were lucky this time.
MADDY : After what my mom said, I started imagining this moment where Olly pulls up in the driveway.
And there's this girl in the truck.
And the girl laughs at something he says.
And puts her hand on his shoulder.
Smiles at him the way I've smiled at him.
I feel silly.
Why would anyone set themselves up to have a broken heart?
He's going to meet someone who isn't sick.
Someone who can leave her house.
ASTRONAUT : (VIA SPEAKERS) Call him.
I can't. I think my mom's right.
Then don't be a coward.
OLLY : Pick up. (CELL PHONE RINGING)
MADDY : No.
It's not true.
It is. What kind of future could you have with me?
I'm trying to protect you.
Protect me? I don't want protection. I want you.
Well, we can't have everything that we want.
You're not mine.
What does that mean?
There's gonna be another girl, you'll be her Olly.
There is no other girl.
MADDY : It's not safe. I don't really think when I'm around you.
(SCOFFS) Thinking is overrated.
MADDY : This isn't going anywhere.
I don't wanna lose you.
I can't even go outside.
What are you really losing?
MADDY : Dear Mom,
The first thing is that I love you.
You already know that, but I may not get the chance to tell you again.
You are smart and strong and kind and selfless.
Because of you, I've survived this long and gotten to know my small part of the world.
But it's not enough.
I'm not doing this just because of Olly.
Or maybe I am.
I found this new part of myself when I met him.
And the new part doesn't know how to stay quiet and just observe.
Do you remember when we first read The Little Prince together?
I was so upset that he died in the end.
I didn't understand how he could choose death so that he could get back to his rose.
I think I understand it now.
I'm not choosing death.
It's that if I don't go, I won't really know what it's like to be alive.
I love you.
Maddy, what the hell's...
Hey. Are you trying to kill yourself?
I've been doing gene therapy.
What are you talking about?
(IN HUSHED VOICE) I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to get your hopes up.
I mean, I don't want to get my hopes up.
Gene therapy? I've been on a trial.
Remember how I said that my type of SCID was uncommon?
Well, I'm very common now.
I can go wherever I want.
(STAMMERS) What, you're not sick anymore?
That's what I'm trying to tell you.
No, I don't believe you. Come on, let's go.
(GASPS) Have I ever lied to you?
So, why would I start now?
(SIGHS) Look, if you're not sick, then why does it look like you're running away?
Well, my morn is still worried.
I knew it was too good to be true. Just go back inside, come on.
No, Olly, I have to know.
I need to know if I'm still sick.
And the only way that I'll know is if I'm outside.
(SIGHS) Will you come with me?
Come with you where?
I bought plane tickets.
Credit cards are surprisingly easy to get.
What's wrong with Southern California?
Look, stay here, all right? Okay.
(CAR DOOR JAMMING)
(CAR LOCK BEEPS)
OLLY : Wait.
Just try not to breathe.
Just till Friday, okay?
And if anybody asks, you don't know where I am.
No, I'm fine.
Just be good.
And take care of Mom.
We're going really fast.
I'm going 30.
Is that fast?
Can we go faster?
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Madeline? Are you up?
STEWARDESS : (ON PA) Welcome aboard.
All luggage should fit in the overhead compartment or under the seat in front of you.
How you feeling?
Terrified. (BOTH CHUCKLE)
You okay? (BOTH LAUGH)
(SING-SONG) This is crazy.
I'll try not to.
I found food.
MADDY : That's very resourceful.
Mmm. I wanna go in the water.
I wanna see a humuhumunukunukuāpua'a.
(CHUCKLES) It's the Hawaiian state fish.
You're setting me up to fail.
DISPATCHER : We have a 10-57. Any units in the vicinity, please respond.
Where is your brother?
I don't think that's true.
I don't know where they are.
I'm asking you for your help.
(HAWAIIAN MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS)
You're in a swimsuit.
Yeah, I am.
(GULPS) It's small.
I'll just be out here. Yeah. Okay.
WOMAN; (LAUGHS) Yes!
MAN : This umbrella's open over here.
WOMAN : (LAUGHING) Oh, my God!
Ready? Just lie back. Lay flat. Lay flat.
(PEOPLE SHOUTING IN DISTANCE)
OLLY : Uh...
(MADDY BREATHING HEAVILY)
You know what? Um...
I'll go first. Okay?
Yeah, you go first.
See you at the bottom.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO)
(SINGING) Far as I can tell, she's happy
Livin' with her Macky
So please don't take
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
It's strange, 'cause I don't even remember them.
I think it's weird to miss something that you never had.
Or, you know, don't remember having.
Not so weird.
We came here before they died.
And before I got sick.
Well, you're not sick now.
Why would you move?
You asked me that already.
Yeah, but you didn't answer.
My dad is not very good at staying employed.
And my mom feels trapped.
I just don't know why she won't leave him.
Well, have you asked her?
She doesn't talk about it anymore, but she used to say that, (CHUCKLES)
"You'd understand when you get older
"and when you have your own relationships."
She says love makes people crazy.
Do you believe that?
(CHUCKLES) Well, I mean, I'm here in Hawaii with you, so...
I guess so.
Are you saying you're in love with me?
(STAMMERS) I'm just saying...
I never would have left my house if it weren't for you.
I love you.
I loved you before I knew you.
So, this is my side. This is...
I like to sleep on the left.
OLLY : Hey, Maddy.
Maddy, are you okay?
(GASPING) Maddy, what's wrong?
Maddy, are you okay?
Whoa! Okay. All right.
You're burning up.
(VOICE ECHOING) Maddy, can you hear me?
(EKG BEEPING) (MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING)
PARAMEDIC : Coming through.
MALE DOCTOR: We just gotta get her to triage.
FEMALE DOCTOR : Let's take her to Exam 2.
DR. FRANCIS : Could you give us a minute?
(IN NORMAL VOICE) Madeline?
MADDY : My heart stopped.
Then it started again.
When I woke up, he was gone.
PAULINE : No, no, no. Lie down.
Lie down, honey.
(SOFTLY) Lie down.
Am I okay?
You're going to be.
OLLY : Are you okay?
MADDY : Yes.
Are you sure? Yeah. I'm okay, Olly.
It's nice to be able to talk to you again.
I tried to visit, but your mom wouldn't let me.
Yeah, I'm sorry I put you through all of that.
I can't do this anymore.
Can't do what?
No more texts.
No more e-mails.
Olly, this is just too hard.
My morn was right, life was better before.
Better for who?
Don't do this, Maddy.
Look, my life is better with you in it.
But mine isn't.
You know, I lied before.
I do feel sorry for you.
PAULINE : Tomorrow, I am back at the hospital.
Did you find me a good babysitter?
Actually, I've been thinking maybe you don't need a nurse.
You learned a tough lesson, and I can't imagine you repeating it.
OLLY : I wish you'd talk to me.
I'll never meet anyone like you, Maddy.
You look at the ocean like it was meant for you.
You jump off cliffs even though you can't swim.
You think you can find the meaning of life in a book.
You don't have any vices.
You should really get some.
I'm trying not to love you.
But I'm failing.
This is my last e-mail.
We're moving back to New York.
We're leaving tonight, when my dad's out drinking.
My mom wants to do it at night, because she's afraid she won't be able to do it if he's right in front of her.
I finally told her about you.
She thinks you're brave.
Being with you made me brave.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
DR. FRANCIS : Madeline Whittier? Yes.
Hi, this is Dr. Melissa Francis from Maui Memorial Hospital.
I was your attending physician while you were here.
I'm just following up on your lab results.
Your myocarditis was caused by a viral infection.
You seem to have a very weak immune system.
Well, I have SCID.
SCID? Really? Why would you think that?
I've had it since I was a baby.
(STAMMERS) I don't know...
If you had that kind of severe immunodeficiency, you probably would have suffered more than myocarditis.
What's going on?
Am I sick?
Am I sick?
Do you feel sick?
That's not what I mean.
Do you remember meeting a Dr. Francis in Maui?
I met lots of doctors in Maui, why?
She doesn't think I have SCID.
And she got your hopes up, didn't she?
It was irresponsible of her to do that.
S.C.I.D. is so rare and so complicated.
Not everyone understands it. There's just too many types.
And every person reacts differently.
You get that, don't you?
Yeah, that's what you've always told me.
Well, you just saw it for yourself.
You were fine for a little while, and then you almost died in that emergency room.
Immune systems are very complicated.
And Dr. Francis doesn't know your full medical history.
She's just looking at a tiny fraction.
She hasn't been here the whole time like I have.
Where are the papers, Mom?
(STAMMERS) What are you talking about?
You have records for everything.
But you have nothing about SCID!
Where are the papers?
(STAMMERING) Well, they must be here, because I keep...
I keep everything and I...
Did you take them?
Madeline, what are you doing? Are you okay?
Come inside, come inside.
Why do I have to go inside, Mom?
Because you're sick, baby. You're sick.
Madeline, please. Please.
I'm not going back inside.
You have to.
You're all I have left. I can't lose you.
Have I ever been sick?
Come inside, Madeline.
(SOBS) Madeline, don't.
DR. CHASE : We're not sure about the state of your immune system.
We think it's possible that it's underdeveloped, like an infant's.
It hasn't been exposed to common viruses or bacterial infections.
You don't have S.C.I.D.
Why did I get sick in Hawaii?
Well, normal, healthy people get sick all the time.
I brought you some of your things.
I'm only taking it because I want you to leave.
Right after your dad and your brother died,
you got so sick.
You wouldn't breathe right.
And I took you to the emergency room, where we had to stay for three days, and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with you.
They said it was probably some kind of allergy, and they gave me a list of things to stay away from and...
I was so sure it was something else.
I love you, Maddy.
And I hope you still love me.
I'm so sorry.
MADDY : The universe already took my dad and brother away from my mom.
She was afraid to lose me, too.
So she made herself believe that I was sick.
I can understand how she felt. Almost.
I'm trying to.
My mother loved my father.
He was the love of her life.
And she loved my brother.
He was the love of her life.
And she loves me.
I am the love of her life.
I want to forgive her.
But right now, all I can think about is everything I've missed.
I've been trying to find the single moment that set my life on its path.
Maybe there's a version of my life where I'm sick.
A version where I die in Hawaii.
Another where my father and brother are still alive and my mother's not broken.
There's even a version of my life without Olly in it.
Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you could just change one thing?
What if changing one thing made things worse?
What if we hadn't met?
But we did.
I'm sorry that I didn't say goodbye.
Are you sure you should be here?
Probably not. (CHUCKLES)
What if today was the first day that we met?
I'm so happy to meet you.
I'm so happy to meet you, too.