Exhibition (2013) Script

CHURCH BELLS CHIME


SHE DIALS THE INTERCOM

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD Yeah? Do you want anything?

Mm...

You know, it'd be nice if you could come up here.

Um, maybe try and distract me from my work.

Get under the desk or something.

SHE HANGS UP CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD THUD

THUMPING UPSTAIRS

FOOTSTEPS

FOOTSTEPS

Where you going?

Ah.


CAR HORN TOOTS

FRONT DOOR OPENS

TYRES SCREECH

FOOTSTEPS

SHE SKETCHES

DOOR CLOSES FOOTSTEPS UPSTAIRS

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD In a way, if you don't really talk about it or-or can't discuss it, other people are going to decide, you know?

I know, I just don't want to discuss it with you.

Eh? I just don't want to discuss it with you.

Yeah, but I'm good, you know, I'm good practice, no?

No, 'cause you'll just say it's silly and glib.

Well, but...you know.

If you don't, you won't get it.

I'm on your side. I'm not... I'm not against you, I'm just curious.

I'm just curious, that's all.

I know, but... 'Cause why not...why not use someone else?

You should use someone else, makes life much easier.

I don't want to be put down, criticised, and I think that's what you'll do.

Stop it before it's begun.

No.

SHE KNOCKS THE DOOR Hi.

Hi. What you up to? Ah, eh, just...go.

It'll be better, thank you. All right, sorry.


'Yet though she played at being a child, 'she had seen through me completely.

'And though she made me her pupil there and then

'in the game of living, for each fleeting moment, she seemed to

'know more of life than is known to the wisest of the wise.

'It might be the highest wisdom or the merest artlessness.

'It is certain in any case that life is quite disarmed by the gift

'to live so entirely in the present, 'to treasure with such eager care every flower by the wayside

'and the light that plays on every passing moment.

'Was I to believe that this happy child, 'with her hearty appetite and the air of a gourmet, was at the

'same time a victim of hysterical visions who wished to die, 'or a careful calculating woman who unmoved herself at the

'conscious intention of making me her lover and her slave?

'I could not believe it.

'Know her surrender to the moment was so simple and complete that

'the fleeting shadows and agitation to the very depths of the

'soul come to her no less than every pleasurable impulse and were

'lived as fully.'

RAIN FALLS


THEY GIGGLE

SHE LAUGHS SHE SQUEALS HAPPILY

ALARM ARMS

CAR HORN TOOTS


Did I do something?

Did I say something?


MOTOR CORD PULLED

MOTOR STARTS MOTOR REVS HEAVY CONSTRUCTION NOISE

Then I was in the cinema, but the screen was blank and there were only two chairs.

And he was standing in the doorway, a very narrow doorway.

I had to squeeze through it and we touched.

I could feel him watching me, his eyes boring into me everywhere I went.

HE SNORES SOFTLY BEHIND HER And he called out and asked me how my work was going.

And he really listened and I told him.

He never took his eyes off me and when he spoke he had a beautiful deep voice.

And I wanted him to touch me so badly.

SHE BREATHES SHAKILY

I can barely make any decisions at all, to be honest.

I start making decisions based on stupid things that I think about.

I thought we would just sort of miraculously come to some... unified position, based on a mixture of intellect and intuition that somehow magically synchronise.

HE LAUGHS


...garden carries traces of a body, in a way, because a yard is based on a human measurement.

So, you've got these kind of moments where you keep encountering these three foot here, three foot there, and they're basically the reach of an adult male.

And it's interesting that... I don't know if this was subconscious, but it's almost like the architect had stood in the garden and then reached out from the house, and where their fingertips were, that's where a retaining wall would be. A low retaining wall.

So, all the way around the house you've got these moments of...of reach.

BIRDS SING

First you look at it and you think that's some kind of...possibly a beech tree or something like that.

But actually, if you look at the leaf shape and so on, it's very special. Oop, sorry. Heh.

I'm always doing that.

You know... So, you know, the way it's been cut, it means that you've got these different levels. The different views from the different floors of the house give you a very particular kind of layering, you know, of the foliage and what not. It's good.

Yeah, OK. Yeah, thank you. It's great, very unique.

Should we go back inside? Yeah.

I have to say, I have always wanted to be inside this house. Exactly.

Original spiral staircase and I always wonder if they...you know, I always wonder if they intended to go right through to the roof. Mm.

I mean, it's about the only thing I would really suggest changing about the house, probably. Right.

That would still be in keeping, you know, with its importance.

Go all the way up.

Yeah, think about it. I just think people didn't do it then.

Roof terraces. I don't know, you're the expert.

We claim to be. Yes.

How long have you lived here, do you mind me asking?

18 years, I suppose now, 17? Feels like 40 or something.

I mean... Well, don't know. Doesn't it?

Bit of a disagreement.

I really love the house still and I'll be sorry to leave it.

Shall we go into the bedroom?

Yes, yes, of course. Right.

Might take a while.

All right.

God, it used to fit.

Don't do the neck up, it's choking me already.

You sure? Yeah.

Maybe. More?

Yeah, just up to the collar.

I'm going to go and make some things. Ahem, do I look all right?

What? Do I look all right?

Don't have any fear, just get in. Trust it. It's amazing.

We've got the wine if anything goes wrong. HE LAUGHS LIFT STARTS

He'll end up in Feltham Young Offenders Institute anyway.

Oh, no, William, you always go to the worst-case scenario.

It is not going to get that far. It happens, you know, it happens.

It does because that's what you see every day in court.

That's not going to be Matthew's path. No.

We've just got to help him and support him. OK, all right.

He's doing his homework at the moment. Mm-hmm.

Well, that's good, you see? Well.

Yes, I mean, as long as he's doing it. Yeah.

I mean, if he... Would you mind if I just had a little look, 'cause I can see through? I just want to see that he's still...

Don't worry so much about him, he'll be OK. No, I'm just checking.

It's OK, it's OK. Sorry, it's just a bit of a stressful night. I mean...

HE CHUCKLES You know, you can imagine. I understand.

Sorry, it's very boring going on about children the whole time.

HE COUGHS


Does this actually come off or...?

Ever?

This thing.

POLE FALLS


CLATTERING

It's not about wanting to, it's the fact that we can.

We have time, we can do something.

We can... build something. We've got possibilities, you know?

We should do it while we can.


We've been here so long.

There's no children, there's nothing to stop us doing it.

We can do what we want.

THUNDER ROLLS

OK.

Try and enjoy the house while you can. Yep.

OK?

Watch out for the phantom pisser.


BOILER HUMS AND CLANKS


ALARM ARMS

BOILER HUMS AND CLANKS


THUD THUD

DULL RATTLE


VAGUE COMMOTION OUTSIDE WOMAN SCREAMS BANG

SOMEONE POUNDS ON A DOOR ALARM SOUNDS DOG BARKS

ALARM STOPS


CLATTERING UPSTAIRS

SHE JOGS UPSTAIRS


PEOPLE LAUGH AND TALK


PHONE RINGS TOOTHBRUSH BUZZES

TOOTHBRUSH BUZZES


Well, there is some regret.

I mean, there's two things. There's the nostalgia, really. Mm.

Regret maybe is a bit strong. Mm. But there's the nostalgia.

I mean, if I had to make the decision again, I probably would have done what I've done. Oh.

But the nostalgia is a permanent factor... Yeah.

...of making such a huge move.

But I can't imagine... All those maintenance factors will be the same wherever you are. Exactly.

I live in a cabin here and it was only yesterday that I finished all the maintenance, and the cabin's only six metres by three.

Yeah. You know, there's always going to be maintenance, even if it's a tiny place, there's going to be maintenance.

And, you know, the original architects, they stayed here until they were in their 80s. They had a very happy marriage here.

I feel it's in the walls, you know. Oh, did they?

Yeah, the house has recorded, you know, this happy, long happy marriage from the... Oh, gorgeous.

You know, from the building of the house till their 80s, yeah. Yeah.

HEAVY CONSTRUCTION


CAR HORN TOOTS Me ol' mate, what's up?

What's going on? That's my car there. What's up?

Come on. What's up, mate?

What are you doing? I'm parking here. I'm waiting for a bit of paint to come down.

Private. It don't look private to me, mate.

Public. Private. Yeah, I know, but it just...

This is everyone else's bit...

There's nothing up there saying...

...and this is my bit. Can you go in? H, can you go inside? Your bit.

No, this, nothing says this is private.

Looks like the back of a shop to me.

Look!

It's context, right?

Building. Yeah. This is everyone else's bit.

What's going on? I don't understand.

This is driving me nuts. I'm going to be here five minutes, that's all.

Just, look, just go inside. He'll move it. I'll get him to move it.

Five minutes. Can't do it now.

You know what? I'm going to put some big gates up here...

That's what I would do... and write "fuck off" across them.

I'd put gates all the way along here and that way you won't get this problem, will ya?

Can't move it now, can you?

No, I can't move it, I'm waiting for some paint. H, just...

Move it, move it. No, I can't.

I'm going to pop over there, get the paint and just come back, all right?

Move it, move it. Got the picture? Got the picture? Move it.

Fuck off, fucker.

You're so aggressive. Fucker.

Where you going? I'm just moving the car.


THUMPING UPSTAIRS

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD INTERCOM BEEPS Hi.

'Hi.

'What are you doing?'

Just working.

'Uh-huh.' Just working.

'Want to come upstairs?'

I can't at the moment. Maybe later.

'Uh-huh.

'Well, you won't feel like it then, will you?'

HE HANGS UP

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD

THUDDING

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD


Mm-hm.

She's not moving.


Just do it.

I know, I know. I want you to get... Hey, hey, I want to play.

Do you want to play first? Nope.

No?

Suppose it's too fast?

Hm? I like it fast.

And, you know...

I can't with-with, eh...

...with like, eh, just a-a-a body.

You know?

Hm?

Are they scared of getting too close to it?

No, no, it's got nothing to do with that.

Lazy?

Perhaps they want you to say it so they don't look stupid.

No, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to tell them.

It's not my job to classify myself or tell people...

Describe to people what species I'm part of or what subset, you know, of waterfowl I am.

See what I mean? Mm. Every artist gets that. No, they don't.

It's really...it's particular to now.

It's a unique problem now. It's not an old problem.

It is, every artist, every musician always gets asked, you know, "Where do you fit in? Define yourself."

I don't know why you're making such a fuss about it.

Sounds like you're on her side.

Well, just think you're lucky to have people write about you and are interested in your ideas and they want to talk to you because they think you're... interesting.

And, uh, they want to engage with you and that's...

...that's a nice position to be in.

Maybe it's something else. Maybe...

...you're unhappy about something else.

'Cause you've dealt with that so many times.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT INTERCOM BEEPS

Hi.

'I love you.'


PASSING CAR PLAYS HEAVY BASS


I don't think there's anything really wrong with him.

You've got to give him a little... We've just got to be very careful.

This is a difficult...it's a very tricky stage. Very hard.

I mean, to be honest, I was all over the place as a teenager.

So, I'm just very, very wary. Oh, I see.

I'm just... A-ha, aah. Maybe we should go to the party. Well...

I know what you mean, I know what you mean and, you know, yes, but he's just not quite ready for that kind of stuff.

He's just not. You can't write him...

And now it's just... One has to be so careful.

You can't write him out an ASBO or something, keep him...

Well, it's just much heavier and there are these kids with knives.

Just fascinating, seeing it from the other side.

Yes, you won't have seen it from the other way.

Are we in? What are we doing? NEIGHBOUR LAUGHS You are funny, aren't you? We're thinking.

Yes, it's lovely actually, just seeing the sort of...

That used to terrify me as a kid, the idea of knocking on the door and he would answer the door or something. Mm.

It was one of those things.

Oh. So, you sure you really want to sell? It's a doppelganger thing.

Beg your pardon? You really want to sell? Uh, yeah.

I mean, it's such a stunning place. I just dream of living there myself.

You say that, but who would want to live...? It's very odd.

Sorry, I'm not being rude but it is odd. It's a fantastic place.

It's not, it's... Do you want to put in an offer?

I wish I could but on my minimal legal aid barrister salary, unfortunately I'm not able... No, it wouldn't be, it's not a family home.

Sorry, I don't mean... No, no. It's not really a family home, is it?

It's an artist's home and that's what it's... Well, they are artists.

I mean, they belong there.

Yes, exactly, it suits them but it wouldn't be right for us.

No, no, I'm not... God, I feel, I feel really hot.

Ooh! What? Are you OK? Shit.

Oh, God, right.

She's going to be fine. She's going to be fine. What's happened?!

Leave... Hang on, hang on. Let's have some air. Is it the food?

You can open this window if you like. Hang on, hang on.

I'll call a doctor, yeah? Oh, my God.

Oh, I think... D. I'm all right. Can you stand? No, no, shall I...?

Get some water, William, for Christ's sake. All right, all right.

I thought you were going to leave me down there.

You can't keep doing that kind of thing.

Why? I thought you...I thought you'd be pleased.

No, someone's going to give you the kiss of life if you're not careful.

SHE GIGGLES And it's not going to be me.

I was having a good time. I couldn't stand it any longer, going on about their children all the time. I just wanted to get home.

DOOR OPENS DOOR CLOSES

Mm?

That's better.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Hang on.


I had an idea. I had an idea.

I had an idea. You're not going out.

Hm? You're not going out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. It's too late.

No, it's good. I'll feel better. You'll feel better too.

It's too late.

No, no, no. No. No, no, no, no.

No, you're not going out. It's ridiculous.

It's good, it's lovely. Don't you feel better?

Right, hang on. No, no, no. What are you doing?!

It's fine. Where's my coat?

It's too late. It's good for you, it's good for you.

No, no. It's good for you. Two scarves too many.

Please...please don't go. It's good. Please don't go out.

You'll like it. You'll be impressed.

No, I don't want you to go. You'll be impressed.

Please, please, please don't go. No, no, no, you'll be impressed.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no. I really worry.

No, no. Look, look, let me get my shit together.

It reminds me... Look at...look, how do I look?

No, please don't go out. I beg you.

It's going to be fun. It's fun.

No, I'm going to really worry, please. No, no, no.

It's too dangerous, you know, it reminds me of what...

It's not dangerous. Come on, let's look at it.

Look at everyone who's out there. Look, it reminds me of what happened before.

No-one's watching.

Come on. Let's go.

Please, please. No, no, no, it's fine. It's nice, it's lovely.

Please. Look at it. It's really nice.


CAR ALARM SOUNDS

CAR HORN TOOTS

Yeah, just...just don't worry about me. Go back to work.

CAR ALARM SOUNDS

CHURCH BELLS AND TRAFFIC MINGLE


HELICOPTER WHIRS


SHE BREATHES SHAKILY

SNAP

STOOL SLIDES


INTERCOM BEEPS

Yeah?

'Hi.

'Um...' What?

What are we doing tonight?

I'm...I'm working at the moment.

'Uh-huh.' SHE HANGS UP CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD

SHE BREATHES SHAKILY


DOOR CLOSES FOOTSTEPS FADE

PEOPLE TALK LOUDLY

OUTSIDE: Fucking fuck!

FUCKER!

CAR STARTS

SOMEONE RUNS PAST

SIRENS WAIL

SHE BREATHES NERVOUSLY

CAR ALARM SOUNDS

TRAFFIC PASSES NOISILY SIRENS APPROACH

SIRENS AND SHOUTING OUTSIDE: Get off me!

KNOCKING CHORUS OF SIRENS SHE DIALS A NUMBER VEHICLE MOVES OFF

PHONE RINGS


DOOR OPENS

DOOR CLOSES

HE SNORES SOFTLY

SHE STIRS


SHE BREATHES DEEPLY


SHE BREATHES RAGGEDLY


REMOTE CONTROL CAR BUZZES


SHE KNOCKS H?

Are you OK in there?

'What?' Are you OK?

You sure you're all right?

DULL METALLIC SCRAPING

'Stop worrying about me.'


MUSIC PLAYS OUTSIDE PASSING SHOUTS

PASSING FOOTSTEPS

DREAMY CHIMES DRESS RUSTLES

DOORBELL CHIMES

Just them. Yeah?

DOORBELL CHIMES

Come on.

Oop. Oh, hi, hi. Hello.

Come in. Good to see you again. And you. Hiya. Hi.

Hello. Glad to see you. Good to see you. Welcome back.

Hi. Hello, how are you? Good to see you. Yeah, good.

Right. OK, can you take your shoes off, please? We forgot.

Oh, of course. Yeah.

There we go. OK, great. Thanks.

Thanks.

Up until you exchange contracts, it's completely up to you and nobody has to know why you're refusing to sell to them specifically.

Um, we'll...and we're pretty sharp at keeping a beady eye out for developers.

Even developers disguised as domestic buyers. Mm. Mm.

Can it be in a contract even to say, you know, they won't pull the building down?

It's hard to stipulate that and you risk alienating buyers at the point of sale. Mm.

Um, but you'll get a very... You'll have an instinct.

As soon as people walk into the house, you'll have a very clear instinct of their taste and if they fall in love with the house as it is. People start talking about what they would do to the house. "This is where... Oh, I love this kitchen, "this is what I'd do to the bathroom." Yeah.

In a way, I can't even go there, to start thinking what they might do with the house.

You know, I'm going to have to cut off emotionally and separate, otherwise, you know, it's going to be too hurtful.

But I don't ever want it to be pulled down, you know.

It's important that it isn't.

You don't have to be here when people are being shown round if you don't want to. I mean, we can arrange whatever's useful for you.

Mm. And we'll try and make it as painless as we possibly can. Mm.

METALLIC SAWING SOUND POLES FALL

Yeah, I've got a few things, you know, ideas that I'm working on at the moment that might be really good, you know, to develop for that.

Yeah, but we'd have to have a... you know, have a good talk and...

Yeah.

No, nothing this year, no.

So, you know, it's a good time to do it really, 'cause I haven't sort of saturated.

I haven't been overexposed or anything so it would be good.

Yeah.

Mm.

Mm, well, thank you very much. Yeah, that's good to hear.

Um, yeah, because I think I've been quite... Working quite sort of insular in a way.

Which, you know, is a strength, I think, of the work as well but there comes a time when it has to go out and it makes you...not so much to be seen but, yeah, makes me reassess what I'm doing if I let go of it sometimes.

And, uh, yeah, moves it along so that would be brilliant.

SCAFFOLDER SHOUTS

Yeah, that's very exciting, yeah.

That's a very exciting prospect.

Mm.

OK, so, shall I wait for an e-mail for you, or...? Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm, absolutely.

That's...yeah, really exciting.

Great.

Thanks very much.

Bye.


INTERCOM BEEPS

'Hello.'

Do you still love me?

'Oh, of course. What kind of a question's that? Of course I do.

'Did that just arrive out of the blue?'

Sort of.

'What's the problem?'

Nothing. 'You sure?'

Yeah.

Just-just needed to know. 'Uh-huh.'

OK.

Talk to you later. 'OK.'

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD

THUMPING OVERHEAD

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD


CAR ALARM SOUNDS

MUFFLED ALARM SOUND ALARM FADES

'40s STYLE DANCE MUSIC

BELL TOLLS


Maybe this is one aspect of the work that you're capable of putting into people's minds. A critical and analytical framework, that otherwise they wouldn't have, yet you do it without being overly didactic or telling them exactly how to behave or think.

And I have to say, I spend a lot of time nowadays when I'm looking at certain situations, I'm brought back to your work somehow.

It stays with me, it haunts me, it somehow... It feeds my...

It works as a road map to try and unpack a lot of these kind of psychological aspects of the domestic that are normally quite hard to reach.

When you're working on something yourself, are you...?

What are you responding to most profoundly?

Is it the place itself or is it the things that come from your private life that somehow find their way into the work?

It's ridiculous if you get to the point where you're not even prepared to say anything at all. It makes me feel I'm missing something or that I just a...happen to be there at the same time as you.

I have no other purpose.

I know, but it's funny because you say that about my work, but actually I find you very withholding emotionally and you never talk about your emotions or what you're feeling.

That's a construct, it's not a... People are different.

Some people do, some people don't.

Well, some people talk about their work, some people don't.

Right, right. Well, then it's fine, it doesn't bother me really.

Can just... You just said it did.

It bothers me a little bit but I'm curious and I support it, but I'm also... I feel that there's this barrier.

I can be useful to you. I can be useful. I'm not completely...

But the thing is... ...useless.

I...

I don't want your input, I don't want your judgment, I don't want your ideas, I don't want your cleverness because it derails me.

Then what-what's... what am I doing then, in the end?

I'm just sort of a... I'm company.

Yeah. Or something. Yeah, you're my companion.

BEEPING

CHAIR ROLLS HE HUMS

BOILER HUMS AND CLANKS HE HUMS SHE JOINS IN

CHEERFUL '40s STYLE MUSIC HE LAUGHS

HE LAUGHS

# King was in the counting house

# The counting house

# Counting his money

# Wearing an artful grin

# The Queen began to plead then roar

# And cried once more

# "Unlock this door!"

# The King replied, "Shan't, I'm busy, you can't come in.

# "When you were eating honey then you made me wait, it's true.

# "For your housekeeping money, you..." #

CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD

INTERCOM BEEPS

Hello.

'I'm cold.' You're cold? 'Mm...freezing.'

Why don't you put a coat on or something?

'I've got a jumper on.'

Put another one on. 'Mm.'

You don't feel cold?

'No, no, I'm not cold but maybe, I mean, I've been run...you know...

'I haven't been thinking about it.

'Are you trying to tell me something?'

Mm.

'Do you want me to go and look at the boiler?'

Wouldn't mind.

'OK.

'I'll stop what I'm doing and do that.'

OK.

HE HANGS UP CHAIR ROLLS OVERHEAD

FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS


The Chans are a family but they were worried about actually selling to a family because it's so...

Yeah, they don't have any children so I suppose they're worried it's not very child friendly.

Right, well, that's what I'm here to sort of have a look at. Yeah.

OK. Yeah. As you know they've got three young children. Yes.

And, with the parents, that's five people all on the top floor so I'd be interested to, you know, work our way through the house, but perhaps we should start down here.

Absolutely. How can we help you? What do you want to see?

Well, there's two key things I'd like to look at.

One is the lift and the lift car in relation to the lift shaft, just to see how much space there is, 'cause it looks like here there's quite a lot of space.

OK.

Oh, right, well...

So, it's a pretty small car within what looks like quite a big lift shaft itself.

Yeah, I don't know how many, um...

Quite a thin wall, yeah. Yep.

'Are you happy with everything you've seen down here?

'Yep, sure. Yeah.

'Um, oh, shoes off, everybody. Oh, yes, of course. Sorry.

'It's one of the house rules.

'The balustrade is very open and these days you need to have

'a gap of not more than four inches only.

'So, it would be nice to preserve that but provide the safety

'that we do need for a family house.

'Especially with children, yeah.

'Yeah, exactly.'


CHURCH BELLS TOLL

PASSING CAR PLAYS BASS HEAVY TRAFFIC

Met someone I really liked, really attracted to him.

And he asked me about my work and he talked about my work and... he really listened and he really got it.

Uh...

Oh, then we were running down a corridor...

Stone steps, laughing.

I loved the sound of his voice.

Could've listened to it forever.


SHE CRIES QUIETLY


SHE CONTINUES CRYING


SHE SNIFFS Hey.

SHE SOBS QUIETLY


LOUD TRAFFIC

Hi. Hiya. How are you? Good, thanks. Hello, how are you?

How's it going? All right, a bit cold. Cold? Yeah. I didn't dress up.

Cup of tea to get you warm? I wouldn't mind, I wouldn't mind, but I've got to get home. OK. All right. Well, I won't keep you.

You might want to pop in later. See you later. See you, bye. Bye.

HER FOOTSTEPS ECHO CRISPLY


We should get the house tattooed on my back. What do you think?

THEY LAUGH Good idea?

You'd better get me tattooed if you're getting the house.

If I get you tattooed standing in the window of the house.

And then if things don't work out I can always tattoo a curtain over you and then tattoo someone else into another window.

THEY LAUGH You're such...

You're such trouble. It's funny, it's not funny. No, it's not funny.


WATER SLOSHES QUIETLY

PLAYGROUND NOISE

CONTINUOUS BEEPING

ECHOING AND OVERLAPPING: Hi, what do you want to do later? I...

Stay in on or go out? I don't really know what you mean. What you doing?

What you doing? Uh, writing.

We'll have children in here one day, won't we? Mm-hm.

Exactly. We'll be perfect.

You know, sometimes I get the feeling you'd rather be at home.

I don't want to tell you, it'll spoil it. OK. Course.

What do you want to do later, stay in or go out? What's wrong?

Mm, nothing. When you were away... Uh-huh. I missed you so much.

Really? 2036 probably. When's your next...hm-hm.

WATER SLOSHES


It's all sugar. Shall we do it? Yeah.

Ahem, we're going to cut the...cut the house as it were.

We're going to break the house.

And I know a lot of you have been here over the years and it's been, uh, great and we've had such good times, and other people are new here.

And, you know, we thought it'd be a good way to...

I don't know, what would you say, celebrate?

No. Commiserate? Say goodbye. Good way to say goodbye. Say goodbye.

So, shall we do it? Yep. THEY LAUGH OK, I'm... You guide it though. You know what you're doing? No.

THEY LAUGH GUESTS GASP GUESTS LAUGH AND CHEER

There you go.

There's got to be something in there. Oh, there goes the bathroom.

THEY LAUGH OK. Try a bit? Tear a bit off.

Tear a bit off. Absolutely, a bit of wall. Fantastic.

Oh, it's delicious.

Mm, hang on, I'm going to try and... Get into the cake bit.

I'm going to try and cut some properly at the same time.

Who wants the bed? Yeah, the bed.

Hang on a second.

Where's that other knife?

There. Here.

There you go.

H, I can't get through it. Anyone want a tree?

Broccoli, anyone?

Bit of broccoli. H, you do it.

Yeah, I'll have a go.

I never liked that small room anyway.

Yeah, we should've knocked those walls down.

Oh, my God, it looks like a squat.

GUESTS LAUGH


TAPE TEARS

I got a call from Susan Shalabi about doing a show. Really?

Uh-huh. Yeah. Are you serious?

THEY CHUCKLE That's good.

Did she do the funny voice thing she does?

We had a good chat, yes. It was really good.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Wow.

An exhibition? Mm.

Excellent.

And you can do anything you want, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Just left it open for... It was just completely into what I do and...

Uh-huh. ...very open, yeah.

So, when's the exhibition going to be?

Um, towards the end of next year.

Completely alone, no-one else?

Perfect.

So, you happy now?

HE LAUGHS Happy and scared. Yeah?

It's nothing to be scared of. I mean, it's perfect. Yeah.

Don't you think?

Well, I was thinking of doing...

Um, you know, a mixture of performance and drawings but the work to be ongoing throughout the... the time I'm there. So, the whole exhibition would be that?

Mm, with no end in sight. Would just keep changing through the whole thing?

Yeah, yeah. Good idea. Every day would be something different. Mm-hm.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

And I'd, I sort of, you know, improvise and make mistakes and take wrong turns and it would all be there for all to see.

Right, and normal gallery hours or do you try and keep it open later?

No, normal, I think.

It's really good.

Did you tell her all that or not yet? No.

Interesting. We sort of talked around it. I said a few things, probably a bit too much.

I don't think you can say too much. It's fine, it's good.

You know, when someone offers you an exhibition like that, it's kind of commitment, you know?

That means they believe in the work and that they want to show it and that, um...

It's fine, you don't have to think about anything else.

It gives you freedom to work, in a way, maybe. Mm.

Or to think at least.

COMPLETE SILENCE


HEAVY TRAFFIC BIRDS SING

CAR RUSHES PAST

'40s STYLE DANCE MUSIC


King Was In The Counting House by Al Bowlly

# The king was in the counting house

# The counting house

# Counting his money Wearing an artful grin

# The queen began to plead then roar And cried once more

# "Unlock this door!"

# The king replied, "Shan't, I'm busy, you can't come in."

# When you were eating honey

# Then you made me wait this through

# For your housekeeping money

# You can wait Like I had to wait for you

# The king was in the counting house

# The counting house

# So the butcher and baker Had to take IOUs. #

The case against you is too strong.

It's not a question of whether you'll be found guilty, but when.

I am a gentleman.

I am a gentleman's wife.

Soon to be a gentleman's widow.

In truth, I would do the same again.