Eye of the Beholder (1999) Script

(SIREN WAILING)

(PLANE ENGINE WHIRRING)

(DISTORTED DIGITAL NOISE)


(DISTORTED DIGITAL NOISE)

MAN ON RADIO: Ready for your lunch?

Come on, baby. Let's start.

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

Hey, come on. Come on.

(WOMAN LAUGHING) Open your dress up.

(WOMAN LAUGHING) Up we go. Hop on the desk.

Oh, stop it.

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

(GRUNTS)

(MAN GRUNTING)

(BEEPING)

(ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

(MEOWS)

(BEEPS)

(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

(MODEM BEEPING)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

WOMAN: Good morning, Costello Real Estate. How can I help you?

Mr. Costello's office. Good morning.

WOMAN: Oh, my God!

You are not going to believe what just came up on my computer.

(PRINTER HUMMING)

(BEEPS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(MAN SNICKERING)

(DRAWER CLOSES)


Eenie, meenie, miney... Lucy.

(COMPUTER BEEPING)

Howdy, race fans. How's it hangin'?

It's hanging just fine, thanks.

Boss wants a word.

Seems we have a little domestic on our hands.

Can you stall for me? Uh, I'm a little busy.

That's all right. I'll set it up online.

God forbid you actually have to come out of your hole and talk like a real human being.

Though it makes me wonder what you all did before computers, Detective.

HILARY: Anyway, it's all very hush-hush, so I'm going to lay my money on that Hugo brat shacking up with yet another bimbo.

Very embarrassing. National disgrace.

No cops. Got it?

Speak of the devil. Here's Hugo.

Okay, we're about to go live!

All right. Mr. Hugo, one moment, please.

Putting you through now, sir.

(SOFTLY) Fat fuck.

You're online.

Morning.

Sir.

A personal problem has developed at home that I'd like you to take a look at.

Yes, sir.

Nothing serious, really.

Nothing that a good kick in the pants wouldn't sort out, the pants in question being worn by my 22-year-old son, Paul.

I suspect he's been stealing money from a trust account, and I want you to find out what he's up to.

Yes, sir.

Thank you. Good morning.

Good morning.

(MEOWS)

(BUZZING)

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

(BEEPS) MAN: Can I see your identification?

Hil?

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

He walks! He talks!

Ah! He's alive!

I'll call you from the trenches.

(CAR HORN BLARING)

*(LUCY HUMMING)

*(HUMMING CONTINUES) Here, I got you something.

"Portland, Oregon." It's the same one as Cincinnati.

Nonsense. It's the same buildings.

It's not. Is, too.

It's not. Is, too.

It's not. Is, too.

(SIREN WAILING)

Do you always park in front of fire hydrants, sir?

Yes.

Are you gonna stop parking in front of fire hydrants?

No.

And why is that?

My apologies, sir. You have a nice day now.

Who is he?

WILSON: Some embassy brat who forged daddy's signature.

He's making a big cash withdrawal for some woman.

And who is she?

I don't know. We've never seen her.

I bet she's pretty.

I bet she's not.

(CAMERA WHIRRING) Which one?

There.

This one? No.

No, not this one?

The other one. Yes?

The guy behind him.

(GIGGLES)

(CAMERA BEEPS)

(GIGGLES)

(CAMERA CLICKING)

God bless America!

Can you spare me any change? Anyone?

Got a dollar for me, please?

Please! Please help me out.


LUCY: One, three, three, four.

Why don't you take any pictures of me, Daddy?

Sweetheart, I never go anywhere without your picture. You know that.

I mean, other pictures.

Sure. I used to take lots.

Do you remember Sea World?

The dolphins and the clowns on skis?

Do you remember? You were just a baby at the time. Remember?

No. Where are they?

Your mother has them, along with everything else with your name on it.

At least she was there when I got home from school.

She didn't spend her whole life staring at dumb computer screens.

Lucy. Lucy!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(CAMERA SHUTTER WHIRRING)

(WOMAN CHATTERING)

(BEEPING)

(DISTORTED DIGITAL AUDIO)

(DISTORTED DIALOGUE)

WOMAN: Where's the money, Paul?

PAUL: What? The money?

It's right here in my bag safe and sound. Good.

This is nice, hmm? (CHUCKLES) Do you like it?

Nobody can see us for a million miles.

Ever brought any women here?

(CHUCKLES) I have been known to, on occasion.

(WHIRRING) I didn't think so.

I've brought you.

I'm not other women.

WOMAN: Pass me my Gitanes. PAUL: Your what?

Gitanes. Cigarettes.

A pox to your cigarettes.

What is this, a shark? A fish? Oh, no. It's a Pisces.

A Pisces? Oh, how '70s. What, you're actually into that crap?

As a matter of fact, I am.

Well, I'm a Leo.

(GROWLS)

(LAUGHING)

Hey, what do you think of that? A shark and a lion.

So do you, uh... So, tell me.

What, do you, um, swim around all day eating plankton?

Or do you, uh, bite the heads off little fish?

Oh! Pisceans are broad-minded, artistic, sensitive.

We're also extremely selfish, manic-depressive substance abusers. Ooh!

It all depends on what side of the bed I get up on.

Don't forget about who's in bed with you, huh?

Wait. Wait, what? What?

WOMAN: Now we're going to play a game. A game?

Baby!

(LAUGHING) Baby... What, are you kidding?

(LAUGHING) Get down, now.

Down? Yes, ma'am.

Get down on your knees.

PAUL: You kinky little...

(LAUGHING)

I...

(EXCLAIMS)

(LAUGHING)

Oh, my. Oh...

(PANTING)

Oh. Oh, yeah.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(WHIRRING)

PAUL: Where'd you go? Come here.

(DISTORTED CHATTERING)

(LAUGHING)

(PAUL LAUGHING)

No. No.

(PAUL SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

(WOMAN WAILING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(WOMAN SOBBING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

JOANNA: (SOBBING) Merry Christmas, Daddy!

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(SOBBING) Merry Christmas.

Fuckin' phone.

(KEYS JINGLING)


(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(WATER BUBBLING)

(THUNDER CLAPPING)

LUCY: Don't leave her, Daddy.

She's just a little girl.

Don't leave her alone.

(PANTING)

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

MAN: Want your change?

Where's the phone?

Out back past the cash registers.

(CAR HORN BLARING)

Oh, come on.

Do you have another phone? It's an emergency.

Do you have another phone? Nah.

The cash registers get bashed in by them geezers looking for quarters.

Here. I owe you ten bucks.

Come on. Come on!

...need to come home. It's Christmas, for Christ's sake.

You don't really have to come home anymore, dear, do you?

I mean, you can e-mail me. Or we can talk on this thing you've given me.

I gotta go, Mother. I'll call you back.

Hilary!

(SIGHS) You're in the pool.

Hi, Hil. Well, well, well.

Lucky Legs. Nice to see your smiling face.

HILARY: Love your work, let's do lunch, and whenever you're ready.

The eye which is reflected to the external world is also the mirror to the soul within.

(MEOWS) Ident, if you please.

WILSON: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Confirmed with a very favorable 97%.

What can I do you for?

Uh, I'm a little out of my depth here, Hil.

I think I'm going to have to call a breach three, here.

I got a breach three!

What the hell are you doing on hard line?

My cell phone and GPS went down. I had an accident.

I'm running a trace.

Pittsburgh, correct? Correct. Train station.

Okay, got it. What do you need?

Anyone, really. State police, federal, whoever's nearest.

Suspect's about to board a train to New York City and may be traveling under the alias of, um, Lucy.

Under the alias of?

(LUCY GIGGLING)

Under the alias of?

Lucy?

Talk to me, Lucky.

(MAN CHATTERING ON P.A. SYSTEM)

Lucky! Under the alias of? LUCY: Don't tell. Don't tell.

Lucky, what's goin' on? LUCY: (WHISPERING) Don't tell.

Don't tell, don't tell, don't tell on her. Daddy, don't tell.

Daddy, don't tell. Detective!

Wilson, what the hell's going on out there?

Yeah, wait a minute... What's happening?

Wait a minute, Hil, will you?

LUCY: Don't tell on her, don't tell on her, don't tell, don't tell.

Look, you're wasting time, here.

(ECHOING) D-D-D... I'm sending in the troopers.

(WHISPERING) Don't leave her.

She's just a little girl.

No, no, don't do that.

What, you have a breach three, and suddenly you don't?

What's up? What's the matter?

Nothing, nothing. Uh, I--I have to go. I'll call in.

Lucky!

WOMAN: Here we go again.

He's gotten a lot worse since his wife and kid went AWOL.


Well, why don't you stick your business where the sun don't shine!

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

LUCY: How'd it go?

(TRAIN HORN BLARING) Nothing.

No match, no fingerprints, nothing.

Is she real?

Oh, she's real, all right. She's a real pro.

Acid wash would burn her fingerprints right off.

Can I get you something to drink, sir?

Uh, Scotch rocks and a beer.

Thank you.

Hi. Can I get you something to drink? MAN: I'll have a vodka.

Okay, sir.

Happy New Year.

STEWARDESS: Hi, can I get you a drink? WOMAN: Whiskey sour?

Oh, I'm sorry. We're out of that.

Do you mind if I flirt with you?

Well, seeing as how timing is everything, why don't you wait until I'm finished reading my stars?

Mmm.

Mickey Argyle.

Dorothy Bishop. Pleasure.

Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt, but you're not from Cleveland, are you? JOANNA: No.

Your name isn't Gayle Flemming? No, it isn't.

I'm sorry. It's just that a friend of mine from Cleveland used to go out with a girl who looked just like...

But that was a while back.

I have never been to Cleveland.

And everybody looks like somebody else.

MICKEY: I'll drink to that, toots.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

May I please have my cognac? I've been waiting 20 minutes.

Oh, um... Yeah.

Um, sorry. Would you mind, please, sir? Cognac.

Pardon me.

MICKEY: So she says to me, it's her or the jewels.

I chose to keep the jewels.

(CHUCKLES) My jewels.

You know, you have beautiful eyes.

Unalloyed, unblemished black opal.

Almost perfect.

An expert. How fortunate.

Absolutely, tutely.

Ah.

Voila.

Impressive.

(WOMAN CHATTERING ON P.A. SYSTEM)

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(DOOR CREAKING)

Larry!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

WOMAN: My mink was right here.

Oh, my God! Somebody has taken my mink coat!

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)

(SIREN WAILING)

Hmm, very nice.

JOANNA: And this opal would retail for approximately what?

JEWELER: $5,000. LUCY: Pisces.

It's all in the hands of the gods.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)


JOANNA: Maybe we should have a couple of kids.

What do you think? Lay off, please.

(SOBBING)

Hey, lady, I think it's time you went home.

JOANNA: (SOBBING) Merry Christmas, Daddy.

Merry fucking Christmas.


(WATER RUNNING)

* I wish you bluebirds

* In the spring

* To give your heart

* A song to sing Lucy.

* And then a kiss

* But more than this

* I wish you love

* And in July

* A lemonade

* To cool you in Lucy, be quiet. * Some leafy glade

* I wish you health

* But more than wealth

* I wish you love

* My breaking heart Stop sing...

* And I agree

* That you and I could never be *

* So with my best

* My very best

* I set you free

* I wish you... * Lucy, be quiet!

I'm s...

*(WISH YOU LOVE PLAYING)

* Goodbye

* No use leading with our chins *

* This is where our story ends *

* Never lovers

* Ever friends

* Goodbye

* Let our hearts call it a day *

* But before you walk away

* I wish you health but more than wealth *

* I sincerely want to say * I wish you JOANNA: * I wish you bluebirds in the spring *

* I wish you bluebirds

* In the spring

* To give your heart

* A song to sing

* And then a kiss

* But more than this

* I wish you love

* And in July

*(HUMMING) * A lemonade

* To cool you in

* Some leafy glade *

RECEPTIONIST: Harry, can't you read the sign? It says, "No pets."

This place doesn't allow goldfish.

HARRY: They don't make noise. Uh, Debra. Debra.

A gentle reminder, darling.

Take out your own trash on Tuesday and Thursday.

Of course.

And don't throw it in the street.

Throw it in a bin.

And tell your boyfriend to do the same.

Which one? The one who's been following you around all week.

You know the one.

The one who waits outside for you and follows you around like a lost dog.

You know.

Describe him.

Oh, so-so.

Average height, normal-looking.

At my age, they all look the same.

Have a nice day.

MAN: Yo, taxi!

(SIREN WAILING)


Hey, hold up! Yo, babe!

(LAUGHING)

Hey, come on, don't be so anti-social.

Hey, come on, you got to give me some of that chickie.

You know what I'm saying?

(GRUNTING)

She's nuts! You ain't gettin' none of that!

Fuck that!

Hey, give me some of that chickie!

(CAR HORN BLARING)

(GROANING)

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

MAN: Damn!

*(MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)

* For the life that she leads *

* For her heart till the end of the world *

* The fortuneteller paints the clouds in the sky *

* When it all comes down you might need an alibi *

(FOOTSTEPS PATTERING)

* Even the devil has a tear in his eye *

(ELECTRONIC BUZZING)

* For her heart till the end of the world *

(DOOR CLOSES)

(GASPS)

How the fuck did you get in here?

The guy downstairs gave me the key.

Your name Debra Yates?

Detective Crocker, NYPD.

What can I do for you, Detective?

You, um, dropped your Pisces.

I've never seen it before.

Oh, yes, you have.

The guy downstairs says you're from Salt Lake City.

That's right.

Isn't it against the law to walk away from the scene of an accident in Salt Lake City?

I mean, it's against the law here in New York.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

What can I do for you, Detective?

Come again?

How much is this gonna cost me?

Are you bribing me?

Yes, I am. How much?

(LAUGHING)

Okay.

A thousand dollars and a shot of some of that, whatever it is.

It's cognac.

What do you do for a living, Miss Yates?

I'm a wig maker.

I'm here drumming up some business.

You sure you got $1,000?

No.

But I'm sure we can come to some kind of an arrangement.

I'm sure you're right.

Don't touch that.

(GUN FIRING)

(BUZZING)


Ma'am, can I get that for you?

Sir! Sir!

Taxi!

I'm tired, Daddy. I want to go home.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING) Soon, sweetheart.

What are we doing here? It's late.

I'm sorry, baby. We can't go yet.

Not yet. If I blink, I might lose her.

So?

So the last time I blinked, I lost you.

I lost my wife, and I nearly lost my mind.

I can't lose her.

WAITER: I'll be with you in a minute, ma'am.

Sorry about the wait. Your brandy, sir. That's $6, please.

Oh, thank you. Here you are.

I'm sorry, sir, that's a five.

Pardon?

It's a five. No, it isn't.

I'm sor... It's a ten, you snake.

Oh, gosh, so it is.

Your drink, sir.

Thank you.

And, uh, your change.

Keep the change.

Thank--Thank you very much.

Happens all the time.

Waiters, taxi drivers, they all try it on.

I find it quite amusing.

You see, I can tell the difference between a five and a ten.

How?

I fold them differently.

Short for a five, and long for a ten.

Cheers.

What are you reading?

Numerology.

Oh.

Are you amateur or a professional?

Oh, I might be professional someday.

When were you born, Mr...

Leonard.

Alexander Leonard.

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Vincent, Charlotte.

(WOMAN CHATTERING ON P.A. SYSTEM) How do you do?

So the fox in the mink...

Cool as a cucumber.

She's going to take the poor bastard for everything he's got.

WOMAN ON P.A.: Flight 726, departing for San Francisco...

Well, that's my flight, Charlotte.

Thanks, again.

That's my flight, too.

Oh. May I give you a hand?

You want to help me?

What's the procedure?

Very well.

I take your arm, and you lead.

Your heart is beating so fast. Why is that?

Oh, I was, um, a little nervous that someone might show up at the airport.

Oh, don't worry.

On the arms of a blind man is the safest place for a beautiful woman to be.

Sir! Sir! You forgot this!


(BELL DINGING)

WILSON: The eye which is reflected to the external world is also the mirror to the soul within.

Ident. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Where the hell have you been?

You go shitting through a tea towel.

HILARY: You've got to speak to the boss.

Stall for me.

Look, tell him, um, Paul Hugo now goes under the name of Barry Grible.

He spent a week in Montreal, and then he went to Seattle with a girl.

He's on his way to Rome now. I'm on him, but the plane's about to board.

Now, I'm going to send you a sample, Hil, and I want you to run a full DNA test on it for me.

It's a pubic hair.

No, not until you tell me what the hell is going on.

Nothing's going on. I'm close, that's all.

Don't do this.

I'm not putting my ass on the line again.

Look, this is not about the kid.

Hilary, look, this is legit. Hil...

Hil?

Hilary?

You son of a bitch.

That's my girl.

So, I'll send this to you today. It should reach you by Thursday.

(BEEPING)

I have to go, Hil.

(BEEPING)

(STATIC BUZZING ON RADIO)

JOANNA: Well, well. What is this?

Mr. Leonard.

I tell you, it wasn't me. I don't know what you're talking about.

Even so, it's lovely. Step.

Here. Let me feel it.

LEONARD ON RADIO: Is that it?

(CHUCKLING) It's a mere trinket. JOANNA: It's very sweet.

I have a much bigger surprise in store for you. Oh, my.

LEONARD ON RADIO: An old friend passed away, leaving me with this eyesore, and I've been scratching my head, wondering what to do with it.

JOANNA: And what do you intend to do with it?

Do you want to be an amateur all your life?

What can I say? This is fantastic.

(STATIC BUZZING)

(CHURCH BELL TOLLING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)


(DISTORTED CHATTERING)

LUCY: Like I said, if you like her so much, why don't you talk to her?

I don't talk to anyone. You talk to me.

You're not real.

Oops. Time.

*(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

LUCY: (WHISPERING) He loves her.

And he's going to take her away from you.

Not if she does him in first.

You're jealous, Daddy.

And you're not?

LEONARD ON RADIO: I hereby declare Charlotte's Den of Astrology and Numerology officially open.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Did I get it, darling? It was perfect. It was perfect.

HILARY: Okay, this is it.

This is the last I can do, then you file a report.

So it looks like your sweet little hair came through.

What? The DNA test.

She's got a record.

She's got a record? When did this come through? Yesterday.

Yesterday?

Hey! I'm on the line as it is, okay, pal? So cut the crap!

I'm sorry. Just patch this one through.

(STAMMERING) I'll wrap it up, and I'll owe you my life. Just name your price.

HILARY: That's more like it. Thank you.

Okay. So, here comes.

There. How'd you go?

WILSON: Oh, Hil, marry me.

I'll need everything you've got on this, uh, probation report...

By the way, was that a proposal that I heard just pass through your lips?

Next of kin.

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

(WHISPERING) Joanna Eris.

Joanna Eris.

LEONARD: Charlotte!

JOANNA: Good morning, Mr. Leonard.

You're early, as usual.

Good morning to you, Miss Vincent.

Now, are you ready to be dazzled by my fine wines?

I can hardly wait. Dazzle away.

(WILSON): Dear Hilary, this'll probably be the last E-mail I'll ever write, so... I guess that means I quit.

My wife was right.

I spent my whole life hiding behind computer screens, and... it cost me my daughter.

But it's time to let go, because I met... an extraordinary woman, and she needs my help.

I won't make the same mistake twice.

God bless you. And thanks for being my guardian angel.

LUCY: You're leaving.

I'll be back in a few days. No, you're not.

You're leaving me again, just like last time.

I didn't leave anybody. Your mother left me.

Then take me with you.

No, I can't. It's too important.

You're running away again.

I'm not running away.

Me and Mommy, you hate us! Oh, for God's sake.

You're abandoning me. I didn't abandon anyone!

She took you away from me.

She took everything away from me.

If you don't take me with you, I won't ever come back.

I have to go.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(PASSENGERS CHATTERING)

WOMAN: Oh, honey! STEWARDESS: You don't worry. Keep your seat belt fastened.

WOMAN: Hold my hand, please.

STEWARDESS: I'll get you a bag.

MAN: ...she's sick. WOMAN: I'm really nervous.

(WOMAN GASPS)

(BEEPS)

(PHONE RINGING)

JOANNA: ...striking gold.

But, of course, that didn't happen.

The fact was, he was a loser.

Probably the most adorable loser to ever walk the face of the earth.

And so Mom left.

In December, a guy came and had the power shut off.

I was nine years old.

It was Christmas.

We went for a walk, roaming the streets, like a couple of homeless people, watching others shop, looking at the lights.

He sang to me.

* I wish you bluebirds in the spring *

We sat somewhere to rest for a while.

But I wasn't stupid.

I knew I was gonna see Christmas from the back alley of a shoe store.

But still, I was totally caught up in the spirit of things, and I wanted to get him something, give him something special.

But when I got back, (SOBBING) he was gone.

It was Christmas Day.

(SOBBING)

I never saw my daddy again.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

I never saw him again.

I never saw my daddy again.

(CRYING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

LEONARD: I'll always be here. I love you.

I love you. I love you, Charlotte.

(STATIC BUZZING ON RADIO)

(LUCY WHISPERING): Don't leave her alone.

WOMAN: First, we are processed.

They take everything away.

We lose our personal possessions.

Everything except our own shoes.

They want us to wear our own shoes, just to feel a little bit at home.

Then, we make our way out into the yard where we will meet our fellow inmates.

And the first thing they're going to do, they're going to take our shoes.

So come on, then.

Take off your shoes.

I mean it. Take off your shoes.

Take off your shoes!

WILSON: Dr. Brault.

Can I help you?

Uh, you were in charge of the probation exchange scheme during the early '80s?

If you would contact my office...

Um, I'm investigating a former resident, and I wondered if you could spare me a few moments.

Who are you investigating?

Eris, Joanna.

Cognac? WILSON: Please.

She did fine with the foster homes.

The theft was nothing more than a youthful day. There you go.

That certainly didn't amount to 12 months detention, and that's where the real damage was done.

She tried to kill herself several times.

Stuck her hand right through a plate glass window and attempted to hack it off.

Did you know that?

Cigarette?

And after her release, she came straight to you.

They all came to me.

I was federal probation chief at the time.

The whole exchange program was my idea.

Remove the girls from their familiar environments, unearth them, probate them where they had no roots.

Well, it didn't work. It just didn't work.

After a couple of years, it became a very costly blur.

The girls were all unmanageable, ignorant, demented female hoods.

All, that is, but Joanna, number 8773.

Joanna Eris.

(CHUCKLES) She was unique.

I had her immediately transferred to Boston.

For your own personal supervision. Mmm-hmm.

Forgive me for asking, Dr. Brault.

Are you wearing a wig?

Hmm.

Does she still wear wigs?

One of the little tricks I taught her.

Never reveal yourself to any man who doesn't need to know.

Now you need to know.

And what other little tricks did you teach her?

I taught her to survive, to fight and never let the motherfuckers in.

Survival of the fittest. Joanna.

Kill, or be killed.

And was she ever sexually molested by a man?

Not to my knowledge. Were you?

All right. That's enough.

Get out! Detective, my ass. Who are you?

Miss Eris is in a lot of trouble.

I'm someone that's trying to help.

What, find out where the trouble started?

And now you think you've got a pretty good idea. Is that it?

(DOORBELL RINGING) Who the hell do you people think you are?

This girl came to me a--a weak, pathetic little field mouse.

You hand me the problems, never the solutions! Get out!

Jeanne? BRAULT: Yes? Come on in, girls.

God bless you for your time, Doctor. Keep up the good work.

Get out. What is it? GIRL: Are you all right?

Of course. Of course I'm all right.


WILSON: "Pisces. Familiarity breeds contempt.

"Time to end the holiday and get back to work, "remembering to tie up all loose ends before you move on.

"Your search is far from over, "as your true companion still waits patiently in the wings."

(CHUCKLES)

Joanna.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no.

Why didn't you just take out a fucking advertisement?

*(TRIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

* Hmm

* No, thank you

* You know I don't

* No way

* I don't like

(WOMAN CHATTERING)

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

(WOMAN LAUGHING)

* Uh-uh *

I've always wondered what it took to contain a large family, and now I know. Stamina.

I'm exhausted.

And that's just one side of the family.

(GASPS) Look!

LEONARD ON RADIO: I never look. What is it?

It's a skunk.

That's about the best sign of good luck you'll ever have.

LEONARD: Only when the stars are right and the moon is full.

How's the moon?

It's full as a bowl, old-timer.

Ah.

So how will we celebrate our good fortune?

A simple ceremony?

Here or St. Boniface?

Nothing too elaborate.

Quaint and charming.

For, say, 800 of your closest friends?

(OWL HOOTING)

Now, call me old-fashioned, but isn't it I who should pop that question?

Well, technically, yes.

But why would you ever think that a lovely young thing such as myself would want to tie the knot with a blind old coot who's rapidly approaching his "used by" date?

Not to mention the fact that you're a Virgo, Mr. Leonard, and I know you better than you know yourself.

And, of course, there's always your fortune that I'm after.

Why, Charlotte?

Why me?

Because you can't see who I really am, and I think it's in the stars.

Very well, Miss Vincent.

I do.

Until tomorrow then, my darling.

I love you, Mr. Leonard.

You know, I...

I never did buy you that pendant.

Of course you didn't.

Take care of her, Roy.


I know you're there.

What do you want?

(GRUNTING)

Open your eyes, you stupid blind bastard!

She's gonna kill you!

She's gonna kill you!

(PANTING)

(DOGS BARKING)

(BELLS TOLLING)

LEONARD: Charlotte! Charlotte!

Charlotte! Come on! I'm taking you away!

Charlotte Vincent!

What are you doing here? It's early!

Come on, let's get married.

What? We're gonna get married!

Now? Oh!

Mr. Leonard, I think I have something to tell you.

Congratulations.

LEONARD: You're kidding.

(CHUCKLING)

I'm going to be a father.

Congratulations, Daddy.

Stop, please fucking stop.

Stop, stop.

Please, fucking stop.

(TIRES SCREECHING)


(SIRENS WAILING)

Everybody, stay back!

Back!

(POLICE RADIO CHATTERING)

Alex!

Alex!

Alex! No! No!

(SHRIEKING)

Alex!

(JOANNA SOBBING)

Get your hands off me! Alex... Let me go!

Get off! Get off! Get off of me! Get off of me!

Wake up! Wake up!

(SNIFFLES) Alex!

Alex! No!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(PRIEST RECITING)

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for He is with me."

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)


Looks like your cigarette lighter's run out of gas, princess.

Diane.

Okay.

GARY: Hey, how you doin'? MAN: How are you?

Got a bit of car trouble. Think you could help me out?

I sure think we could take care of that.

(WIND HOWLING)

I'm sure every man and his dog has tried a line on you.

But has anyone ever told you you have very sad eyes?

Well, yes, they have, Gary.

Have anyone ever told you you need a shower?

(LAUGHING)

That's a pretty mean-lookin' shark you got there, princess.

It's a fish. Pisces.

Looks like a shark to me.

You like sharks?

I like the myths.

They have a limited memory.

Maybe only a minute or two.

Sounds like a pretty good life to me.

Of course, the downside is they can never stop swimming.

Even when they're asleep, they have to keep moving forward.

'Cause if they stop for even a moment, they'll die.

(LAUGHS)

(HISSING)

(WIND HOWLING)

Fuck me dead.

JOANNA: What?

Nothin'. I was just, uh...

(CLEARS THROAT)

I was just sayin' you could lay your dentures on my bedside table any day of the week, princess.

JOANNA: What are you talking about?

Nothing. Forget it.

Stupid bitch.

GARY: What are you doing in there, princess?

You haven't started without me, have you?

Princess is in the middle of her ablutions.

(MURMURS) Fuck-wad.

* I wish you bluebirds in the spring *

(DOOR OPENS)

GARY: There's a little surprise on the dresser near your purse, princess.

(LAUGHS) Just for you.

A little dart action, you know.

You see, there's this bar just off the one-five out of Baker where they have these English dart championships.

And there's this guy, and I bend over to pick up his girlfriend, who's sprawled on the floor, completely fuckin' smashed.

And the fucker hits me in the ass with this bright yellow featherweight dart.

Right between the cheeks.

Can you believe it?

So what do I do?

I nail him to the bar and use his head for a fuckin' dart competition.

What's all this stuff?

Oh, that's just a little somethin' to get the evening started, darlin'.

Thanks. I'll pass.

Oh, no. No, no, don't... It's just for fun.

I don't want to have to blast alone.

It's not my thing. You go right ahead. I'll watch.

(GASPS)

You'll watch? You'll fuckin' watch?

(GROANS)

(SCREAMS)

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up and watch the freak show!

And see for the first time in this country, the amazing pin cushion!

Treat yourselves tonight, folks.

Treat yourselves and watch the bearded lady cut herself to ribbons.

Come on, baby.

(GROANING)

Come on, baby.

Oh. Baby fell down.


That's a good baby.

Here we go.

Welcome to heaven, princess.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

No milk today. Thanks.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Thank you.

Now piss off and mind your own fucking business!

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Yes?

(GROANS)


(GASPING)

(COUGHING)

(GARY CHOKING)

Don't leave her.

She's just a little girl. Don't leave her alone.

I would never, ever leave her. Ever.

Cross my heart.

Hope to die?

Forever and ever.

Amen.


GARY: Hey, what the fuck is this?

Jesus Christ! What the fuck?

Hey! Get me the fuck out of here!

Hey! Motherfucker!

Fuck it!

The car!

Where's the fucking car?

Mornin', there, partner.

Sounds like you had yourself a little bit of fun last night.

No, no, no, no.

Where is she?

I said, where is she?

She went north about a half hour ago.

Hey! Joanna!

You gonna pay for them rooms? Joanna!

Joanna!

WOMAN: Yes, agent, I'm checking your location right now on the GPS.

Just one moment.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Hil, honey? Yeah.

We've got our lost dog.

Better late than never.

Christ.

I've got two guys in Boston pulling the place apart.

What the hell are you doing in Utah?

Uh, um, I lost the Hugo kid, Hil, and, uh, I need some help.

Could you put an ASU out...

We've been trying to tell you.

Hugo and his wife bought it in a car accident a month ago, so it's finished. It's over.

You're coming home.

The boss is dead.

Jesus, I've been worried sick.

How the hell are you surviving?

You know me. Lucky Legs.

Look, could you put an ASU out on all hospitals for me?

Uh, a woman may try and register under the name...

For God's sake!

Listen to me. Listen.

Hugo handed the whole case over to the feds months ago.

So it's over. You're coming home, and that's an order.

Now, will you do one last thing for me?

I'm not authorized to.

Well, fuck authorization, Hil! I'm in trouble here.

Now, a woman may try and register herself into a hospital under the name Eris or Leonard.

Now, this is an emergency, and the last thing I need at the moment are the fucking feds.

Now, will you help me? Please?

I--I can't fuck this one up as well.

Please.

I'll see what I can do.

PILOT: Okay, looking.

And, Tango, you guys in?


WOMAN: Hello, there.

Hello! Yoo-hoo!

Hello.

Pardon? May I help you?

Yes, um...

I--I've just flown in to visit a friend of mine, Miss, um, Joanna Eris.

Oh, good!

I'm so glad somebody came, it being Christmas and everything.

Well, she's down the hall in 36, although she's probably asleep by now.

Okay.

You know she lost the baby, don't you?

*(HOME OF THE WHALE PLAYING)

* My love

* He works upon the sea

* On the waves

* That blow wild and free

* Think you of the wives

* And the babies that yearn

* For the man ne'er returned *

* Sleeping without a stone

* All you ladies that smell of wild rose *

* Think you for your perfume

* Of where a man goes

* He is mine

* For only part of the year

* Then I'm left all alone

* With only my tears *


Who was he?

He didn't say, dear.

But he asked for me by name? He said Joanna Eris?

Yes. He said he was a friend.

What did he look like?

Like a salesman.

They all look the same to me.

Salesmen, reporters, photographers.

They get your names from the registry and they come to try to sell baby products and the like.


(MAN CHATTERING ON RADIO)


Got any change?


(BUZZING)

Come on. Fucking come on. Come on!

(DOOR LOCK BUZZES)

(CAR HORN HONKING)

(GRUNTS)

Hey, buddy, you got a buck?

(POLICE RADIO CHATTERING)

Miss Eris. Federal police.

Would you mind coming with us, please?

Oh.

Why? We'll explain in the car.

(COCKS GUN)

In the car, please.

(GUN FIRES)

OFFICER: Pull back!

(ALL CLAMORING)

WOMAN: Oh, my God!

WOMAN: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

One, two, three.

MAN ON P.A.: This is the final boarding call for Flight 309 to Anchorage.

Final boarding call at Gate 7.


Thank you. MAN: Good morning, Nellie.

I'm ready when you are, darlin'.

Get over it, pal. It's not gonna happen.

(MAN WHOOPING)

Yep?

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Um...

I'd like the omelet with herbs, please.

The what?

Omelet with... Oh, herbs.

You shouldn't have to ask, Nell.

We're gonna install a bed in here for this guy. How you doin', Frank?

I'm good, Lizzy. Good.

So, you come in a lot?

The last couple of weeks. You?

H-Have you been here long?

I don't know, a couple months.

Uh, side dishes?

Taurus? Yeah.

You believe in the stars? Not anymore.

Well, Pisces reads, "It may seem you have reached the end of your road, "but all is about to change.

"The sacrifice you're about to make will become another's salvation."

And then it says, "You will never be forgotten."

Do you want some coffee?

Yes, please.

COOK: Eggs up!

Ham and eggs up!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Uh, we're bustin' at the seams, Frank.

You don't mind sharing, do you? WILSON: No.


All done, gentlemen? Mmm-hmm.

Who gets the check? I got it.

Coffee?

(FORK TAPPING ON PLATE)

What do you think?

Can't say for sure.

Worth a try, though. Yeah.

Fucking cops, eh?

What about 'em?

You can always spot 'em.

Hmm. Didn't notice.

Look, um, I--I don't know what time you finish, but I'm coming back later and, um, I wondered if maybe you... If you w-would want a drink.

I'm working a double. Thanks.

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)


LIZZY: Watch the alarm. The coons keep setting them off, and I sure as shit ain't comin' down here at 4:00 in the morning to reason with them again.

Night-night. Toodle-oo!

Night, Frank.

I said, night, Frank.

Night, Lizzy.

(DOOR SHUTS)

(LAUGHING)

What? What?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Now I'm in real estate in Nevada. That's...

That's why I can help you get a house.

Getting a house isn't a problem.

It's easy enough.

What do you do in a house?

When you wake up in it?

What do you do on Christmas in a house?

I mean, I'm supposed to be so young, and I don't have anything to show for myself except a big sense of loss.

That hardly fills up a house.

(STAMMERING) What have you lost?

I've lost my childhood, my youth, my father, my husband,

my daughter.

She wasn't any bigger than a minute.

Barely had a name.

Now my mind's going, too. It plays tricks on me.

And spookiest of all, I lost my angel.

I had a guardian who looked after me.

I think I miss him the most.

(WHISPERS) My angel.

Maybe he'll come back someday, huh?

Come back and bury me in my favorite graveyard in Valdez.

It's not up to us, though.

(CLEARS THROAT) Is it?

It's up to the gods.

The whole thing is.

What have you lost?

Only fair.

WILSON: This one's my daughter, I think.

She was an embassy kid and, uh, was relocated or...

Dislocated is, I think, the word that they used, every ten months.

I simply came home one day and, uh, she wasn't there anymore.

And seven years later, I stopped looking for her.

The thing that gets me the most is that she had no choice.

S-She simply woke up one morning and, uh, and didn't have a father anymore.

So I'm just a daddy who lost his little girl, and I guess you're a little girl who--who lost her daddy.

And that's it.

End of story.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(ALARM RINGING)

(DOOR SLAMS)

WILSON: Uh-oh.

(WILSON SIGHS)

Tony, we're real crowded today. You're gonna have to share.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Hi.

What can I get you?

Coffee.

That's it?


For the record, Lieutenant, I think this is a very sick scenario.

Nobody's accusing anybody yet, Doctor.

Just tell us what you see.

MAN: Okay, here we go.

That's not Joanna Eris.

Well, we have reason to believe it is. Be very sure.

I'm telling you, it's not her.


I'd really like a chance to try again, a-and I wouldn't waste your time.

I--I'd make it worth your while.

It's not a waste of my time. It's a waste of your time.


(ALL CHEERING)

I don't know how much more of this place I can take.

I get off in two hours.

I can't wait.

I--I can drive the car around the back, and we can go now.

I'll meet you out back in five minutes.

Okay, thanks. I'll get it. Don't worry about it.

It's okay.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

Come on, come on, come on.


Come in.

Have a seat.

What did you say you do?

Oh, real estate.

Oh, yeah, it's a pretty tough business up here.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh, yeah, it's a pretty mean business.

Snow means money, and I'm suspicious.

I think that's why I spotted the police so quickly.

Um...

I think they had the place staked.

I wonder what for?

They're probably gonna arrest somebody.

Probably one of the regulars or, um, one of the staff.

Would you like a drink? I only have cognac.

I've never touched the stuff.

I've seen you someplace before.

I don't think so.

I've been around a long time, though.

Someplace else.

Have you ever been to Florida?

A couple of times.

Well, everybody looks like somebody else, huh?

Yeah, my wife was born in LA. I...

What are you doing?

Don't do this to me.

Joanna.

(GRUNTS)


(SOBBING)

(WAILING)


(PANTING)

(CRACKING)

(WATER SLOSHING)

(GROANING)

(GRUNTING)

Come on! Come on! Come on!

(PANTING)

I know who you are.

You took my picture at the museum.

Hmm?

(SNIFFLES)

I wish you love.

* Goodbye

* No use leading with our chins *

* This is where our story ends *

* Never lovers, ever friends *

* Goodbye

* Let our hearts call it a day *

* But before you walk away

* I sincerely want to say

* I wish you bluebirds

* In the spring

* To give your heart

* A song to sing

* And then a kiss

* But more than this

* I wish you love

* And in July

* A lemonade

* To cool you in some leafy glade *

* I wish you health

* But more than wealth

* I wish you love

* My breakin' heart and I agree *

* That you and I

* Could never be

* So with my best

* My very best

* I set you free

* I wish you shelter

* From the storm

* A cozy fire

* To keep you warm

* But most of all

* When snowflakes fall

* I wish you love

* But most of all

* When snowflakes fall

* I wish you love *