Fack ju Gohte (2013) Script

Congratulations to Mr. Popolski and Mr. Ates for successfully completing junior high school.

Mr. Miller, your oral exam was, to put it mildly, a farce.

I heard you're being released this week?

Very good.

Although in my opinion, your lack of general education poses a danger to the public.

Just out of curiosity, why sign up for the class at all?

Because this is the only place in prison where there's free hot chocolate.

Thank you.

See you in 2 weeks, bro. Awesome! Don't drop the soap!

Shut up. Fuck a whore for me.

And you, keep your hands off me.

I saw you on Sunday, Monday

Hanging with your man, girl

You came back on a Tuesday

With that cold-heart look of shame

Oh I could party on, better

Better than you once knew Whoo-hoo, baby!

Freedom!

What did you do to my car?

Sweet, isn't it?

No welcome kiss?

Don't know. What's going to cost me?

Come on, save the sucking for your customers.

Where's the money?

I buried it.

Where, then?

OK. These are the coordinates I pinned for you.

I figured a schoolyard, nobody would look, you know?

What is it?

I don't have great memories of my school days.

You went to school?

For how long?

Until eighth or ninth grade, not sure. I was in my crack phase.

Hey, Zeki.

When you get the money, can I get new boobs?

Shut up. Honk if somebody comes.

How about one? The left one?

It's smaller somehow. Seriously.

Can I turn on the radio?

No.

Oh, shoe clips.

Mandy, Charlie here. It's not my phone, gotta be quick.

Listen, can you do my 54 dance today?

Fuck.

3 METERS TO DESTINATION.

Is she fooling me?

I'm not into it anyway.

Glitter up the butt crack for days.

Stop honking, dingbat! It's me!

Hmm.

It wasn't there before.

It was just a construction site here. Oh, really!?

Why'd you bury the money under a construction site?

I thought they were just laying pipes.

Are you mad at me?

No! Why would I be?

I only waited 13 months for this fucking moment!!

Maybe, you can raise that up with a... crane?

You owe me 2,000 euros.

And 50 for the glass table.

Gimme a break, Attila.

In a week or two, I'll have the money from my job.

Just a little taste,... if it takes longer.

Right. Understood.

Can I crash here?

'Till Gina's back from the fat farm.

Then I need the display window back.

Everything OK? Why aren't you dressed yet?

The sexy teacher's next!

Get going.

And don't forget the glasses.

Hello.

Does anyone need tutoring here?

I'll find a cellar and dig my way to the money.

That's like six, seven meters long.

Is it possible that's a stupid plan?

It's been a while, but I remember schools are very strict about letting criminals dig tunnels in the cellar.

I'm applying for janitor.

Do you know how to do repairs and fix soda machines ?

You're the dumbest teacher in the world!

But also the hottest.

Burak, what's up, bro? Good and you?

Man, Danger!

Hey, you can't run down the bikes.

Shut up and pop a few of your moon craters.

Hello.

Can I help you?

I'm looking for the principal's office. About the job?

Yes, exactly. To the right here, then straight.

Excuse me.

Could you help me with my glasses?

Ouch.

Sorry, I'm fine.

Okay, I have to go.

Bye.

Good luck.

KICK ME.

One moment, Ms. Gerster.

About the 10b...

Not now, Ms. Leimbach-Knorr. Not now.

The little bastards... Ingrid.

Please! I have job interviews.

I'm up to here, my dear Gudrun.

Nothing I can do about it.

You look like you couldn't change a light bulb.

Have you done this job before?

What are you?

An elite janitor, who doesn't talk to mortals?

Hey! What?

Give me back my 2 euros. I need to top up.

Fuck off, girl.

Fuck your mother.

You retarded? Fuck your own mother!

How? - Amok alarm!

Please, find a room and lock yourself in.

Wild. A constant amok alarm.

Hey, I swear I heard a shot. Go, go, go. Hurry up.

This is the amok alarm.

Please find a room and lock yourself in.

Caro, are you locking it from the inside?

What's going on now? The little nutcase set off the alarm.

It wasn't me. I swear, it was him. A warning!

I'm calling your parents.

But, Ms. Gerster. Yes, Ms. Gerster.

Oh, God no. We've made a great impression, eh?

They're just children.

Good, then. You're next and... the only one. Come in, then.

You asshole, eh!

If you fuck with me again, I'll ram your fist so far up your ass that you can scratch your throat from inside, fucking snitch.

What?

Close the door. Bro!

Your high school subjects?

What subjects? My favorites?

I assume.

Sports.

German?

Yeah. Yeah?.

That too. Good.

Finally, somebody without math.

Does everybody have to teach?

Not enough teachers?

Yeah. Otherwise I wouldn't advertise for a substitute teacher.

Substitute teacher? I'm... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know. Temp jobs, never the best.

I can't promise more than 2 months, until the end of the year, Mr. ...

Miller. Zeki Miller.

The janitor had a heart attack raking leaves.

We don't yet have a go... for a new one.

My whole budget goes on police complaints and removing graffiti.

And then, there's the "cable fire" in the old gym.

Insurance nightmare. Civil servant hell.

So until then, we have to pitch in ourselves.

Do you like the new gym?

I did the sketches.

The architect was a total waste.

As a teacher, I get a universal key, right?

You ask odd questions, Mr.

Salary?

A salary is good.

You're not licensed, I assume?

No, not really.

I can offer you 2,000 euros gross.

OK, then, 2200. But I can't go any higher.

We're not Salem Castle here.

Deal. Bring your paperwork in later and we'll see you assapissimo in the teacher's lounge.

Why didn't you call?

We were too drunk.

Slut.

Really. Did you know that she wears a push-up bra?

I'm off.

Danger, give me the lighter.

Hey, be polite, toe jam. Give it to me.

There's your sister.

Stop or she'll come over. Oh, shit.

Laura, please wear a jacket when you sit outside.

Laura, I'm talking to you. Laura, she's talking to you!

Let it go.

Fuck!

Could you please put out your cigarettes?

You with the blue cap. I'm talking to you.

Elisabeth?

Let them be.

It takes them a bit to learn to respect the new teachers.

They're not putting them out. Nothing you can do.

They learn it at home.

I don't think that's a good attitude to have.

Uh, you, um... who's your homeroom teacher?

I forget.

Are you deaf? She said put out your cigarette.

You can't tell me what to do.

Uh, hmm.

Yes, uh...

Who are you exactly?

Miller. I'll start working here tomorrow... as a substitute teacher.

Oh. Oh.

We work here, too. My condolences.

About the syllables, could we meet up, exchange ideas?

Excuse me? About what?

About the syllables. The syllabus?

That's what I said.

Uh, yeah. We can do that.

Don't push, please! Today?

Parent conference today!

But maybe, tomorrow... Today's great for me.

Mmm-hmm. Hmm.

Cool. Hmm.

Ouch!

Would you like sugar?

You got a beer?

I... can look. I don't really drink beer, but ...

Something alcoholic would be great.

Okay.

Oh.

Bra.

Hmm.

I only have prosecco. That's fine.

Come on.

Lisi has a visitor. Yay!.

More, more.

Well, anyway,...

Mmm.

I wanted to go to a Catholic boarding school, but then my grandma died.

And my sister and I are, well,... orphans.

Well...

The child welfare services didn't want Laura removed from a familiar setting.

So I thought...

I'd teach at my old school, which has "slightly" changed.

Which college did you...?

Bro, finally.

TEACHING CERTIFICATE PRINT FAIL Fuck.

Shit! Parents conferences are the worst.

I mean, they are all fucked-up asocials.

Are you there?

Man, oh man.

She picked up somebody.

I have to pee, eh.

Right, but a learning disability doesn't just happen.

Is it possible you're an asocial bum who's shit at raising a child?

Man, I gain weight, but my boobs don't!

She drank a bit much.

Can you check in an hour if she's still breathing, OK?

Oh, my God!


Morning, Ms. Mayer. Yes, good morning.

Please, don't shout!

At least, they greet you.

Your One-Night-Stand.

Shit, I don't remember anything.

Caro, how does my hair look?

As goofy as last night. So, what's your problem?

He was drunk.

Hey.

Hey.

Fuck.

Well...

That was really hot night, huh?

Elisabeth.

Don't chase him like an underfucked old maid, please.

So... Play it cool, right?

Calm down.

I hate playing it cool. I want a steady boyfriend.

So tell him exactly that. That'll work.

TEACHERS LOUNGE Hi. Hi.

Sci-five. Sci-five.

Hey!

What are you doing? Having breakfast.

Stay back! Not one step closer.

You can't stop me!

People, consider your environmental footprint on this earth.

You can't just drop stuff and wait for some idiot to pick it up.

Oh! Oh, God!

Oh! Ms. Leimbach-Knorr?

Oh! Ms. Leimbach-Knorr?

Is she okay?

It's only the second floor.

Please. Please, do it, please.

Please, do it.

Please.

We need an ambulance! Quick!

Go to your classrooms, please!

Stop filming this with your phones.

Jeremie Pascal. Get back, get back.

Please, go to your classrooms.

Move the fuck back or I'll kick your hairless asses and knock your metal teeth in.

He needs to piss off. I hate that guy.

Am I dead? No, no.

Thank God, no. Shit.

Oh!

Lisi...

Get out while you still can.

Anybody who becomes a teacher these days must be nuts.

They're all monsters.

All of them!

Oh, dear. Ms. Leimbach-Knorr.

Not again.

I'll call you, OK, Ingrid?

Yes. Psychiatric clinic, I assume Right? Yes.

Stay strong.

Welcome to our new firefighter, Mr. Miller.

Good morning.

So, not a great day for our school.

Will it set us back? No!

Briefly: Our colleague, Ms. Leimbach-Knorr is doing poorly, but she has a good chance of full recovery.

She won't be teaching for the rest of the semester. if she ever did.

Our next goal is to compensate for the loss of our colleague.

So, who wants to take 10b?

Mr. Gundlach, how nice! No, no.

I wanted to ask about the play. Yes... No.

I can't. I substituted there once, and absolutely no way I'd do it again.

I did 2 weeks too.

All I can say is: second-degree burns.

There's nobody in 10b who hasn't repeated at least once.

None of them will graduate.

They're impossible. Excuse me, the students need lessons.

I think that's... Leimbach-Knorr only lasted 4 months.

And she's ex navy! Ms. Schnabelstedt is right.

For a change.

It's shocking how little teaching spirit is in the air here.

Thank you. Welcome, the class is yours.

Uh, what does that mean?

Teaching, Ms. Schnabelstedt.

This is principal Gerster.

All students, return to your class immediately. Lessons will resume!

Hello, Mr. Miller.

Excuse me. Do you have a minute?

What is it?

Chantal, your mother needs to pick up the knife.

Listen.

About yesterday. I thought I had a class now.

Briefly.

I was totally drunk.

In case you were thinking...

I'm not into that. It doesn't mean anything to me, right?

What's that? It'd be great if neither of us... uh, misinterpreted it.

It's gonna be hard, but I'll try. OK. Forgotten.

Really?

Yeah, good, good. I mean ...

We're colleagues and we shouldn't jump the gun, mix up.

Yeah, super. So, let's go.

Pretty chaotic school, eh?

Forgotten.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, excuse me.

Whoa! Oh.

Hello.

Good Morning... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on, stop that shit.

Hey you, Peter Parker.

Go get a TV from the equipment room.

My name is Mr. Miller.

If you don't want trouble, keep your mouth shut.

I'm only here temporarily.

You've all got an A.

Whoever busts my balls and I'll mark you down a grade.

Got it?

Yes. Yes.

Hey, fatso, are you listening to me?

Give me the notebook.

And don't eat so much unless you want to die a virgin.

So.

Each of you make a list of your favorite movies and then make sure there is a DVD ready for each class.

Is VHS OK?

If the movie is not on DVD, then it is a shitty movie.

I don't mind the old Black-and-White movies collected by your Nazi grandparents.

That one's cool.

Take a picture.

Good morning. I'm Ms. Schnabelstedt.

Ms. Schnabel-spaz.

What a dog!

Take your seats, please?

Okay, um... What does she want now?

Guys, I know a lot has happened, but perhaps you could... How old are you anyway?

Um, how... Twelve?

How do you...?

How do you feel about using my proper name?

Could you try? How about you suck me off, huh?

Oh.

And...

Uh...

Well. Also...

Some of you are surely wondering why Ms. Leimbach-Knorr did that.

Nope. So that's what we'll talk about today.

I brought a Freudenberger essay to help.

Zeynep, give me my nail polish!

Stop yelling I didn't yell.

Shut up and give it back. Yes, fuck you.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Take it.

Unbelievably bad upbringing. Yeah, you!

Each time you use the F word, you'll put a euro in the little frog.

Hey, she's annoying.

Pass the text around, please.

And then, we can talk about what a burn-out really is.

Hey, what's your name again? Could you put it on the board?

Um...

Okay, I get it. You're very creative.

Take cover.


What's up?

When do we elect our class representative?

Who wants to be the class representative?

I don't want nerds here, okay? I'm marking you all down a grade.

Now paint something until the TV gets here.

Can we brush?

You can pierce yourself if you want. I don't care.

And can we use opaque white? Huh?

We're not really allowed to use opaque white.

Then, don't use it.

Oh. Oh.

Spastic.

Hey guys, it's not funny anymore. It burns my eyes.

You were supposed to distribute them!

Close the damn window!

Good bye! Bye-bye.

Would anybody like to share 10b homeroom duties?

Express yourself, Ms. Schnabelstedt, I don't understand sniveling.

Yes, well, just because they're... Hmm. they're just a little bit...

You're already in over your head, yeah?

Then, there's the door.

I don't want staff jumping out the window because they realize this profession is no petting zoo.

Okay.

Hey, what happened? Uh...

Nothing. Only... they just made a fool out of me. Okay. Yeah.

What?

WE NEED BRIGHT BULBS FOR OUR SCIENCE FAIR.


MAINTENANCE

Did you know that they call 10b the amok class?

Yeah.

It's the shithead Daniel.

He's got a screw loose.

Hey, did you know they make bulletproof vests for teachers now?

So thin, you know? They don't show.

Lisi, the printer's not working.

You have to unplug it and plug it back in.

You said you got an A- on the teacher's exam.

But you got an A.

That's perverse. You're a real geek.

Man, Caro, why are you printing my exam results?

And on Monday, Miller was here. No way!


Pig!


Unfortunately, you chose a very slim tree to hide behind.

You stole my exam results!

Have you been sniffing white-out?

The file was in the printer cache!

I had problems at the university, and I needed the job. Calm down.

It's theft and fraud.

And you exploited me sexually.

I put a few knockout drops in your bug tea.

I wouldn't touch you with 10-foot pole. So stop babbling.

I beg your pardon?!

You're such an ass. You're an ass and an imposter.

And that's a crime.

I'm calling the police. Ah! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Lighter than expected.

Let go of me.

Listen, munchkin.

I suggest you cuddle with your teddy bears overnight, and decide your price.

Don't suck with me, Zeki Miller.

It's "don't fuck with me."

And I won't unless I'm brain dead.

What are you doing there?

None of your fucking business.

We'll see what Ms. Gerster will say, tomorrow.

You want money, Schnabelstedt?

I don't want anything, except my class back.

Swap?

Why?

I have the, uh... training in conflict resolution and the... the... night course in teens aggression.

Yeah, that too. Mmm-hmm.

I've planned it all so well.

I really hate to change it around.

Yeah, I was angry at first that he wanted to rob me of such a great challenge, but then I realized it's best for the children.

Mmm-hmm-hmm? Mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm-hmm-hmm.

Well.

Fireman teachers are usually the tougher nuts, eh?

Mmm-hmm-hmm.

Oh. Good luck.

Bite me. They're fucking kids. They can kiss my ass.

I am substituting for Ms. Schnabelstedt.

My name is Miller and I'm only a temp.

Why's your name Miller? You don't look like a Miller.

You're a brother!

Cut the Turko shit. An F for you.

Where's the class register? In the cupboard.

Think I'm going to cry now?

Fucking children.

Let's see who you motherfuckers are.

Chantal Ackermann?

OK, I'm going for a smoke before I smash your teeth in.

Ooh-ooh!


Motherfuckers!

Mr. Miller?

Class is in session.

Where are you going?

Maybe to change my clothes?!

Come to the principal's office, please.

You didn't tell me they were the asocials.

Excuse me?!

What was that term?

You mean youth from the under-educated class.

Mr. Miller, I want those children brought under control.

School inspectors could show up at any time and give out demerits.

You may go change, but this is an exception.

Thank you.

Hey baby won't you look my way

I can be your new addiction

Hey baby what you gotta say?

All you're giving me is fiction Show off your ass. ♪ - I'm a sorry sucker

- and this happens all the time ♪ That looks sexy.

It started with a whisper

And that was when I kissed her

And then she made my lips hurt

I could hear the chit chat

Take me to your love shack

Mamas always gotta back track

When everybody talks back

It started with a whisper

And that was when I kissed her

And then she made my lips hurt

I could hear the chit chat

Take me to your love shack

Mamas always gotta back track

When everybody talk... Where are the others? Downstairs, I think.

They're not in the mood.

Class has started! What does he want?

Idiot! Old fart.

He should go home. Pathetic.

Oh my God, you're bleeding. Oh!

This is a Forever 21, you retard!

It's gonna stain.

Oh! Oh!

I swear he's crazy. Let's go.

In the classroom and make it quick!

Oh, shit!

You forgot your backpack.

Everybody up here now, chop-chop!

Now we know who's in command here.

From now on, get your asses in here at the bell and no trouble.

Now what? We didn't do homework.

I don't give a shit. You sit here. The rest isn't my problem.

Here's the deal.

You all fail in a few weeks, anyway. Until then, no trouble.

You're the loser class.

The whole teacher's lounge slags you off.

I can do whatever I want here, nobody cares.

You're scum.

So shut your mouths and sit still until the bell.

Excuse me.

Do you have any chalk?

Look for yourself.

Oh.

Your student is crying.

Chantal!

Yes? Cry quietly.

Is it possible you don't care at all?

About what?

About their respect.

Don't you have work to do, like potato printing or something?

This here has no educational value.

They look traumatized. And what's that on their faces?

They were making name tags and smeared. Now act like a plane and take off.

I'm good at putting myself in teenage shoes.

How? By subtracting the pole up your ass and adding Facebook?

Laugh at your own jokes.

You need therapy.

Sorry, that wasn't right of me.

ROCK DRILL

Yes?

I told you when the old lady got back,...

I'd need the booth. Where am I gonna sleep?

It's only a matter of time before the cops are back on your ass.

Keep me out of it.

I'm running a clean establishment, okay?

You've got an LSD lab in the attic.

Exactly. I have to be twice as careful.

Motherfucker.

Shit!

Shit!

I got my elbow on the window-sill

Hand on my face looking out to the world.

A lot of questions lay awake in my brain

And I'm still trying to suss out what I'm a say. YOU HAVE A FUTURE WE HAVE A PLAN

Why is it that when some guy makes it outta a hood life

They're like: No we can't let ya.

And allow five-oh to rape girls and compensate them

Like David Bikem is so wrong

And expect us working people

To fund your wages for you to uphold the law

Which is what exactly that?

I really need to know

'Til then I'll stare outta my window

- Oh, oh, oh.- Ha, ha. Follow me.

Man, Laura, do you have to wear dad's old shirts?

What do you care?

There're such nice stuffs to wear at your age.

Caro, help me out. Oh, Elisabeth.

I feel like a lesbian adoptive mother when you drag me into it.

I need to unwind.

Yes, I see. That's your second glass.

Mmm-hmm.

Yes! And we are not married.

There's somebody in the garden.

Get the pepper spray.

The pepper Spray.

Laura, go to your room, lock the door. Dostoyevsky!

That dog is useless!

Remember our self-defense classes. You hold it like this.

Hit him!

We don't want it! We don't want it!

The sentence is pointless if we're not being raped.

Who the fuck would rape you!

Zeki?

Were you going to sleep here?

Uh, no.

He's a giant asshole, Caro. I'm telling you.

I think he's nice.

And he's hot. Plus, I bet he can fix stuff.

This fucking house is big enough.

This "fucking" house is good enough for you at 50 euros a month!

Even better. So he pays 250.

You'll finally get contact lenses, Harry Potter.

Glasses look like shit, I've told you 1000 times.

Got a boyfriend?

Be careful or you'll end up like your sister.

Watch it! Are you crazy.

Laura, go upstairs.

One night.

We don't have any bedding.

I'll just finish this.

At least 2 weeks, please.

Your car has no smog sticker.

I'll pay at month's end. I'll never find anywhere else.

I don't even know you. Maybe, you'll hurt us.

Staying with you for 2 weeks, I'm the victim here.

Hello, Ms. Schnabelstedt. Hello.

Mr. Miller?

Not now. Oh, yes.

Piss off.

It's about German class.

I could only find Jurassic Park 1 online, but on list, it says to bring 2. Is that a problem?

Chantal, "on the list."

Articles aren't optional.

What are you on about? So, Mr. Miller?

We already watched Jurassic Park.

But so many were in remedial class.

Whatever, just buzz off. You stink of CK One.

Yeah. Smells good, right?

Okay, you can stay for 2 weeks. Really?

Mmm-hmm.

As long as you really teach 10b and make sure they improve.

How does that work?

Do your job!

It's up to you.

Or I tell Ms. Gerster that class means movies and terror.

Fuck!

Whoa, Mr. Miller.

Hello.

Can you make change? How?

Could you help me get out?

Could you stop, please?

I'll get it. E20 is stuck.

More to the right.

Come on. Yeah.

My pleasure.

Are you a teacher?

Yeah.

But, I'm just a temp.

Oh, it's going to be another shit day.

Ouch!

Any other furniture you need?

Mmm... Sorry, not available.

Here. Reading materials and syllabus.

How am I supposed to get those mental defectives to read?

Know what?

You need to get Chantal and Danger under control.

Once you get the leaders, the others follow.

Need anything else? Caro!

What? Could you help me here?

What? The shelves.

Yup.

Friedrich Schiller The Robbers

God, the print's small.

Weapons, drugs, vandalism.

Leaders.

Little motherfuckers.

Did you know that bees make photosynthesis?

Boy, these students are really special needs.

Use a plate. No, it's fine.

I have to go. Still working nights.

Yeah? Where?

In a club. Oh, yeah?

With real dance music or that electro-shit?

Well, good. So long as you get your lessons prepared, right?

Why do you always give him that sexed-up look?

Don't be jealous. He's too short for me anyway.

To blow him, I'd have to dig a pit first.

I don't want anything from him!

Hey, once he's in, it doesn't hurt anymore.

And I guarantee he's a good fucker.

By the way, I signed him up as an assistant for your swim class. Oh!

Caro! Hey, tell me...

Hey!

I don't want anything from him.

We deep, deep diving move Daniel!

Don't jump from the edge.

Uh...

Yes.

Yeah. Very funny.

So, who forgot a suit or has a doctor's note?

...in my ears say you tune this wrong

You live like... So, two laps warm-up, please.

Deep, deep dive

To this jive the outside world

Ain't just slip by

Oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh

Oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh

Lever

So what do I do? Uh, uh...

First put out your cigarette.

And, uh...

Then just make sure nobody dies.

...deep diving move in slow motion

Therefore, I step in your car ♪ ♪ in your commotion Very funny. Ms. Schnabelstedt.

Such pretty wet hair. Totally cute.

Oh! Mr. Miller, no.

You got to do it right or you got to go home You need to do sports. Go on. 10 laps before I let you out.

You can shove your fake doctor's note up your ass.

You too. Go change.

You're a fascist-er Mr. Miller.

I hate you.

Mr. Miller!

Uh...

I wanted to thank you.

Thank me?

Really? Here, in front of everybody?

What for, anyway?

Well...

It's the first time that so many took part.

Take that back.

It's okay. Spaz!

No! Shut up!

No, you take it.

Hey!

You need to calm down.

You're a spaz, bro? He said I was into her.

So what?

Hey, man, she's ugly as sin.

Let go of me, you whore.

Daniel, whore is a feminine noun.

Now pull yourself together! Leave me alone, you ass-wipe!

Zeki!

You can't do that! You can't do that!

I didn't hear the apology! Fucker! Fucker!

Are you a teacher? Yes, why?

But I'm just a temp.

Sorry, sorry!

Did you just use force with a student?

I'll tell my father.

You told me to get him under control.

Yes, but not with violence.

They reflect that behavior outside school!

Daniel.

Be careful. I think he pissed his pants in the pool.

So, I thought we could get together?

To talk about... talk about how that could have happened to Daniel.

Exactly.

But you haven't yet filed criminal...

All right.

Me? No, no, no, it wasn't me.

Mmm-mmm.

Talk to him. I don't want...

Oh, man.

Miller.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Yes, okay.

Yes.

Okay.

Bye.

So does he want a parent's conference?

No, he said Daniel's nuts and I should smack him sometimes.

It's the only way to get him in line.

Oh, God! We need to get the poor boy out of that vicious circle.

It's a little late.

But I know a really good Ethiopian.

Good, so talk to him if he's an expert.

It's a restaurant. I'm hungry.

Ethiopian?

Fly soup and rice pudding, or something like that?

I need meat, man.

Is that actually allowed, in traffic, the windshield?

You need to talk to Daniel again.

I'm worried.

I'm collecting their dreams for the time capsule that every class buries.

I noticed a lot of disturbing things.

Daniel and Burak want to become criminals.

Is work all you think about?

It's our responsibility.

But they're other people's children.

Do you like it?

Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

There's sort of an educational oath.

We have a professional duty.

It's bad enough that everybody thinks teachers are lazy.

I swore to make a difference.

They may be awful, they're still just children.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, but could you maybe use another pole?

If it's no trouble.

Okay.

Do you really believe that shit, that there's a sweet flower inside every kid?

I think some kids haven't learned to believe in themselves, and don't know right from wrong.

If we don't teach them, they'll end up in prison or something.

So...

We have one "Erection" and one "Licking Vagina".

It's edible. Don't be shy.

It's a penis.

Man, you'll never get a guy, being like that, really.

They all think you're mega uptight.

Put the dick in your mouth.

Coping with students.

Professional handling of disruption and discipline conflict.

CD 4.

Don't underestimate the value of role-playing.

Group exercises allow young people to channel aggression.

Role-playing for indirect review of behavioral dysfunction, and lack of self-confidence.

Ah!

Oh, fucking shit!

Role-play gives a problem child free rein for his feelings, and allows reflection on his inappropriate behavior.

What exercise'? I don't want to do any exercise.

Stow that look or I'll slap you silly.

So I'm her husband?

A round of applause, he got it.

Shut up. You start.

Man, wait a sec. I have to get into my part.

Oh, my beautiful apartment!

Thank you, darling! And how was work?

Shut your trap. I'm hungry.

Hey man, watch your mouth. We just got married.

I married you so there'd be food ready after I screw sluts all day.

After you screw sluts, huh?

You married me because I'm pretty, Salak.

Don't push me.

Hey man, are you an idiot?

Danger is exaggerating, Mr. Miller.

Who's Mr. Miller?

Are you shagging some German?

Show me your cell phone.

Hey, Danger.

That's not part of the game, man.

Shut up.

Go clean and then you can blow me.

Give me my phone back, spaz.

Oh!

Are you crazy, man?

Don't hit each other. Stop being such thugs.

Give me the phone, you fuckface.

Okay.

Daniel, you did a great job.

Have you thought about the drama club?

They participate in community youth theater and it could be a great new hobby for you, where you could have fun and let off steam.

Ha, ha. No way!

I'm already in school 3 to 4 times a week.

Yeah.

What is your problem?

Fuck school, man.

Watch your mouth, motherfucker.

You seriously believe you want to become drug dealers or some shit?

Yes, man.

I'd rather collect welfare than learn that crap.

Come on, school's still on. Piss off.

Fucking motherfuckers.

It was a stupid idea, sorry.

We could each make €20,000.

It's an armored car transport.

My cousin's been watching them for 6 weeks now.

No, I'm busy on something else.

All you have to do is drive the getaway car, Zeki.

Bro, you just got out. Get a real job.

A little upset? Need a blow job?

No, not in the mood.

What's the matter?

Were you with Mandy?

Are you oftener with her than me lately?

No, I wasn't with Mandy. And it's "more often".

Do you have a crush on the bookworm?

Ha, ha, ha. Leave me alone.

Could you suck me off?

Sorry.

- This is the night ♪ ♪ - I'm sexy

I want to feel your body

Sexy, sexy

- I want to feel your body ♪ Oh, whoa, Zeki.

Your heartbeat next to mine

This is the night

Sexy, sexy

- I want to feel your body ♪ Turn that off.

Your heartbeat next to...

What's this?

Elisabeth Schnabelstedt.

Hello. I seriously doubt this will work or anybody will be organized enough to ever dig up this time capsule.

I'm also basically uncomfortable at the thought of strangers reading this.

But I wish I weren't so fat.

I'd like a love letter with check-boxes for "Yes, No, Maybe".

It's silly, I know.

I want to become a teacher.

It's the only job where you get kids without getting fat.

And I'd like a smart and honest boyfriend like Karsten in class 9B.

Elisabeth Schnabelstedt, 8a.

Why didn't I ever win a trophy like that?

Do you have to win the math Olympics first?

Or a fucking badminton tournament?

For the first time, I felt like the streets robbed me of my childhood.

The streets.

And homeroom teacher, Ms. Eschmiller, stupid cunt.

Everybody knows you stole the class money!

You'll never amount to anything!

That was surely not the last foster family that wants to get rid of you, Zeki Miller!


School over already?

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Are you out of your mind?

Why?

SLUT Hey, did they pierce my ears?

Could you please tell me how did that happen?

Were you sleeping in class?

How about peeing into the urinal.

Yeah, yeah.

There's something on your butt too.

ASSHOLE How drunk were you not to notice?

One, two beers?

Hmm, yeah.

Fuck!

Let's not use that word in class.

Are you alright?

Man, just piss off, okay?

You're just worried I'll be busted and you'll get the shitty 10b back.

Don't pretend like you care. You're nuts.

Are you really accusing me of not caring about you?

I'm really sorry that you're depressed.

I am not a teacher at all.

Don't start doubting everything.

Hello?

Your class isn't easy but, I mean, you took the job.

So now, just stay the course.

Now, go home. You look like a junkie.

And think about how to turn your profession into a vocation.

You do have the potential.

You are close to your students.

Including in consuming intoxicants.

Your eyeliner,... it's really perfect. Gotta give Chantal credit.

So.

Yeah.

I don't know, Laura.

Razor blades?

I saw something about it on TV.

It makes a huge mess in the bathroom.

All the blood and stuff.

Right, good. Then we'll try the plastic bags.

Press down hard.

This method definitely sucks.

I'd take pills. Hey, there's somebody there!

Why do you have a bag over your head?

Oh, that. New profile pictures for Facebook.

Fuck, bro, are you shitting me? And you too?

Were you trying to kill yourselves? Please, don't tell my parents.

Mr. Miller, please.

We just wanted to try.

Because if we do do it, it'll be together.

I didn't want to.

You persuaded me in.

You said yourself, you feel ugly.

Yeah. But you started with the suicide.

Just because you're in love with Daniel.

Man, Maike, you're so bitchy!

Okay, nobody wants to fuck you. But, there's no reason to kill yourself.

I would've written a farewell note.

And then Daniel would have come to my funeral and said he always had feelings for me but he was too blind to realize it.

Then stop walking around like a trannie waiting for the operation.

You're not that ugly.

Yes, I am.

NO IDEA WHERE WE'RE GOING. HE'S STEALING GAS.

Hi, girls. Hi, Zeki.

Charlie, can you do something with her?

No, we don't do surgery here.

Oh, no sense of humor, eh?

Runs in the family. Hmm.

Mmm.

Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.

Well, she needs a big push.

Sheila, bring me my make-up bag.

She's a whore, she knows style.

Do you want a drink, or coke? No, thanks.

No, no, no. The big one.

The big one.

Sweet. Still so young.

And so fresh. Yeah, yeah.

I don't look awful?

Okay.

I tried to let it fade, baby

But I can't get away

I really hope you're listening 'cause I never thought I would say-ay-ay

I can't help myself

From falling in love

From falling in love

With you, yeah, yeah, yeah

I can't help myself

From taking the drug

From taking the drug

It's you, yeah, yeah, yeah Danger!

She looks great, today.

Hey, what? Danger, Chantal!

Come here! What does he want?

Take this. Go on.

Little bitch.

What's up, Mr. Miller?

I still owe you something.

What?

Some make-up.

Man, Mr. Miller.

Danger! Really!

Yes?

You know your dad said I could slap you around?

But you're not really going to, right?

If you make sure she's home on time, then no.

What is this!?

Can she smoke something?

Oh, you motherfucker!

Honestly, you're borderlining, you brainsicker.

Shut it.

On time tomorrow or expect trouble, people.

Fuck you!

Yes.

Hey, Danger, you spaz! Why are you brown-nosing him?

Did he call my father or yours? Who gives a fuck.

Look at you, embarrassing. Shut up, man.

What is this anyway? Not his shit, I hope.

Punctually tomorrow, people?

This plant drives me crazy.

Oh, Mr. Miller.

Hang on one moment.

The learning assessment for class 10b is in.

The results were as expected.

The class is an intellectual vacuum.

Don't be gentle in breaking it to them.

This is their last chance to get it together.

God, is she dumb!

Uh, Ms. Gerster? Yes?

Where are the forms for study trips?

What?

A field outing? What?

A study outing?

A field trip? Yes.

Where are we going? Disneyland?

Not a concentration camp again.

Shut up!

Chantal, you write the report. Oh, no.

Today we took a field trip.

First, we visited an acquaintance of Mr. Miller's who is withdrawing, cold turkey.

Hey you, long time no see.

So people, some of you said you wanted to become drug bosses.

So, this is what drug dependence looks like.

This is a heroin addict.

How long were you a drug addict?

He can't answer because shooting up fried his brain.

Ah! Oh!

He puked the whole time and Zeynep almost puked too.

So, who wants to be a drug dealer?

Not anymore, right?

Then we went to the parents of a friend of Mr. Miller's, so Daniel could see a life on welfare.

Who's there?

The friend is a whore.

Hey, Zeki, you back?

Could we come in? These jokers have a few questions.

Mmm-hmm.

Udo, put something on you. There are children here.

Chico!

Chantal, is that your mother? Are you retarded?

Udo, everything all right?

Yeah. And you?

Okay.

He sleeps a lot.

Sweeties... It stinks here. do something with your life.

My daughter is a prostitute and we're dependent on her.

It's not nice.

The dog's shitting, Udo! Oh!

He's eating his own shit. Ew!

Who cares.

The prostitute has a brother.

His name is Ronny.

Ronny was sleeping because he drinks a lot and he's a Nazi.

He was up all night, so nobody wanted Mr. Miller to wake him up.

Don't wake him up, please.

Burak wants to avoid first contact with a Nazi.

Then you need to join the theater group.

Bro, say yes. Yeah, okay, man.

Leave his damn nipple alone.

It was very interesting.

Mr. Miller has weird friends.

Afterwards, we all got kebabs.

It was better than a museum with Mr. Gundlach.

That was just a bunch of stuffed animals.

Hey! It's red!

They haven't learned the colors yet.

Asshole. Asshole!

So think about what you want to become.

Come up with your own homework.

Hey, give me one.

Oh come on, Mr. Miller.

Smoking is shit. Senseless.

About the test you took recently.

Huh?

You were the best.

You could even skip a grade.

But I got a terrible grade, Mr. Miller.

Yeah, but because you're under-challenged.

Talented people often are. From now on, you'll be challenged.

Maybe you could... even graduate at 17.

Oh, my god.

But don't let yourself be dragged down by others.

And apply yourself.

Does he mean me? No.

Mr. Miller, really? You're not joking, right?

Look, I'm trembling.

Chantal, I'm excited myself.

We only find somebody like you once in every 10 years.

Oh, my God!

I don't have to be a cashier girl.

Who are they?

The vocationals are ripping off the handicapped kids.

They don't look more handicapped than you.

Whatever. The nerds.

"Youth researches" and so on.

Go help them.

Why?

Because you'll soon be a nerd yourself.

Because they're the only men who'll like you, a chem student in a lab coat with liverwurst stains and greasy hair.

I swear, Mr. Miller, you're killing me.

Okay, let's kick ass.

Oh, Chantal, I'm not in the mood for a fight.

Leave them alone.

You think you're better than us? They go to my school.

Leave them alone.

Let go of me!

Let go of me, bitch!

Hey, she's got a knife!

Are you scared?

Let go, dude!

Piss off, man!

Touch them again and I'll cut off your extensions, you cunt.

No, no! They were expensive.

Then piss off.

You too, outta here!

Ouch! Not bad.

Check!

Hey nerds.

Say thank you.

The federation guarantees eternal gratitude.

Yeah, no prob. I'm smart too, I get it.

You're in science club, right?

Uh, positive.

So maybe... I could come see sometime?

Because in my class, I'm... could be that I'm not challenged enough.

What're they talking about? How would I know.

I don't want to be that ugly.

OK. But you have to wear anti-static clothing.

Okay.

What's that? What does he mean?

This isn't the test I gave you.

I added a question.

"In the first person perspective, tell us how a dinosaur feels when he sees the electric fence is off?"

"There were only goats today again. As always, I don't even like goats."

"I wonder what's outside the fence? I hear it's freedom."

"But to get it, you have to die."

"I decided to try and carefully touched the fence."

"It was weird."

"It didn't hurt."

"For the first time, I had something like hope."

That was beautiful. What did you do with them?

Just talked.

Mmm.

Friday is environment & nature day.

You could take the class to an organic farm.

I've always wanted to go there.

I could come along.

O Romeo. Doff thy name.

And for that name, which is no part of thee, take all myself.

Why is Daniel trying out for Romeo?

The other parts are shit.

But I do not have... Yeah, yeah. Enough.

Juliet, I take thee at thy word.

Call me love, and I'll be baptized again.

Henceforth, I never will be called Romeo. Why is he yelling like that?

He's a little aggressive. So stumblest on my counsel?

By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am:

My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself, because it is an enemy to thee.

Had I it written, I would tear the word.

My ears have not yet... That's it, I can't take it.

The balcony scene's next. So what? The stage is total shit.

It looks like that TV channel you only land on by mistake.

The one where they speak French.

Do you mean PBS? Yeah, exactly.

Nobody understands it.

What's the deal with the stilted language?

My god, it's Shakespeare.

Who's been dead for, like, 4000 years.

Why isn't it translated into normal German.

If I were you, I'd be embarrassed.

I already want my money back.

Gundlach is clueless.

You'll never win the Teenie Oscars with that.

I won't listen to this.

I've been doing this for 24 years, since the fall of communism, and it was always well received.

In the retirement home, maybe.

Listen here. You do it then.

Please, you take over directing.

Arrivederci, Verona!

My colleague... No, I'm going!

Can I go too? No!

Uh-huh-huh.

So who's taking over drama club?

What's it about? I only saw the porn version.

Do they get each other?

They die.

Well, at least, something.

Who are you playing?

The nurse.

What's that, an animal? It's a great role.

Daniel, say the line as you would like to say it.

Juliet, you cunt, let's fuck.

Show me your tits, pronto.

We'll re-write it. It'll be cool.

Here’s the thing I wanna talk about

Listen up you gotta hear me out Close.

We get it done, we get it done

My own way

I just wanna say

Wait!

Hey now

Hey now!

I haven’t had a good laugh for a day now

Hey now

Hey now!

Up top, we’re the kings of the playground

Hey now

Hey now!

You know you’re down, let’s do this right now

Do this right now

Wait! Sarafina, be careful.

You'll fall again.

The teacher rating is online, eh? No?

We are very interested in that.

My dears.

The teacher rating is online.

It is online.

Stay calm.

Hottest teacher...

Me! Oh, yeah!

Yes. Ms. Gerster. Yes?

You are the biggest nightmare.

I said I'd get the title again. Alrun.

Who's coolest teacher?

Mr. Miller.

And, who's the sweetest teacher?

Mr. Miller.

And among the women.

Oh!

Me!

Hey there, surprise!

Congratulations!

We'll drink to that, eh?

Uh, yes, no.

I need to go get the overhead projector.

Go ahead.

So, I said...

Oh.

You're not seriously crying over the student ranking?

The student ranking.

I was never voted for most anything.

I've never been anything.

Most beloved teacher, prettiest teacher, teacher with the nicest smile.

Nothing.

I've never even been strictest teacher or meanest teacher.

I'm just air.

It doesn't matter if they like you.

No, it matters.

It's a compliment, the only review of us.

The only one that counts.

What the students think counts.

They think you're funny, that's why.

You mean witty?

There's no category for that.

Cant you talk to them?

Gerster is making me test the 10b class, because so many of mine have mumps.

They're going to... to whack me.

It'll all be deducted from my final grade, if I mess it up.

I could blackmail them or something.

No.

I want them to respect me. Voluntary.

Nobody says "whack".

Oh.

But "Yolo" is okay, right?

Ms. Schnabelstedt wants to do the whole train with you.

What does "whole train" mean?

We spray the entire train.

The entire train? What about the law?

That's exactly why it's cool.

The beautiful train, it's still new.

Uh...

Excuse me, we have class here now.

Huh? This is our train.

We could call the police, or you could just move over one track.

I need to finish here on time. I'm not here for fun.

Oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh Keep going. ♪ - We're moving it

We can never go back

Jump to the Bottom let me get a Fuck Yeah

I'm about to leak the Space

And before that I touch you so you live

I'm a living, I'm a living, I'm a living a good life

Like I'm a Star

And nobody, and nobody, and nobody can stop me

I'm way too fast

Come around 'n around 'n around 'n around

'cause the party won't stop tonight

Hips getting down 'n down 'n down 'n down

- When I'm stepping on the mic ♪ Hey, Danger, come here.

Not bad.

Totally cool, Ms. Schnabelstedt. Totally Instagram.

Thanks.

Yeah, um...

So, shall we... look at your work and critique it together?

Swag, eh?

Mmm-hmm. Swagetti Yolognese, Burak.

Luckily, you're not in my English class.

Huh?

How would you grade it, Burak?

Hey, an A, of course. Don't know about that.

Shit! Cops. Scramble! Police! Freeze!

Freeze!

Hips getting down 'n down 'n down 'n down

- When I'm stepping on the mic

Say Yeah ♪ ♪ I'm Higher, I'm fine now

♪ - Come on. ♪ ♪ - I'm really about to touch the sky

I'm fame, my gain

perfect Picture looks something same

Oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh Okay.

This is not the first time you've run from the police, is it?

I stole a CD once.

The hazardous waste must go to the recycling station.

Hey, how about a "Thank you" for polishing your image?

I swear, that was close, Mr. Miller.

I almost saw teacher sex.

Hey, there! Hey, there!

Hey, Ms. Schnabelstedt, teachers' test today, eh?

Yeah, yeah. Exactly, Burak.

Cool.

Good morning.

I brought 2 pictures and I'd like to discuss them in the context of Schiller's "The Robbers".

Uh, can I turn on the projector first?

We'll be living on an all time high

I'm trying to keep it

We have learnt to walk but now it's time to run

A change is gonna come

Living on an all time high

I'm gonna live it

First thought we couldn't but it can be done

Change is gonna come

Ready

Running

Faster, faster it's coming

Living on an all time high

I'm gonna live it Thank you, class.

Not bad. Ms. Schnabelstedt, not bad.

It seems you do have some ability to assert yourself.

I'm glad.

Good.

Thank you very much.

Uh, and why were you so nice?

Because you and Mr. Miller are so sweet together.

If you hooked up, it would be so hot.

Not everything is hot.

You're so much prettier lately.

You wear your hair loose and... yeah, beautiful.

Yeah, uh...

Thank God, private life and civility aren't AP subjects.

Now off to the schoolyard to exercise.

Uh...

Uh, Chantal, please, don't light up inside.

Okay.

Ms. Schnabelstedt, he's shooting the animals.

No, these are sex hormones.

It's always hard to get Llamas in mating mood.

It's too cold for them here.

I thought this was... an organic farm.

I don't quite get the organic aspect.

Okay, kids, let's move on to the rabbits so you can sketch them, alright?

This is disgusting. Hey...

Let's zap Chantal with it.

Cool.

Hey, Chantal.

No, stop, you spaz!

No!

Ouch, outs!

Oh.

Was that in your ass?

I was trying to hit Chantal, I swear.

Zeki, where are you?

First, I think it's outrageous that you left me alone with your class.

And second, I've been shot with...

Ungulate.

Ungulate sex hormones. and I would like to... stop that... to seek medical treatment.

I don't think much will happen. In Asia it's a recreational stimulant.

Yeah, in Pandora, eh? Oh, God.

In Pandora? What are you talking about?

Hey, Pandora is in Asia.

Pandora doesn't exist in real life, Daniel.

So why was it in 3D, huh?

I'm so hot.

I'm so hot.

I'm so thirsty.

What's happening to her? I'm the hottest teacher in the world.

I hope I don't grow fur.

I can't stand having to shave every day, everywhere.

My back... and my bottom, my bottom. Mmm-mmm.

Chill out, bro.

Oh, oh, oh.

Sleep, sleep.

Sleep, sleep.

Sleep, sleep.

Sleep!

Lisi, the dog was just playing in a shit pile.

What are you doing?

Oh!

Sweetie, let me sleep a little.

Zeki will play with you.

Child Welfare is coming today, about my guardianship.

Doesn't matter.

Dostoyevsky, let me in there.

They're already on alert, because as a teenager, she was treated for depression.

Oh, yeah. I was very sad.

Teenagers are always sad, because nobody likes them.

Have you lost your mind?

Thirsty. Hey!

Thanks a lot.

Now I'm going to end up in a home.

Good night!

Mr. Miller.

For God's sake. One more won't hurt.

Call me Zeki.

I'm Isolde.

What a lovely name! I mean yours.

Are you from the Middle East?

Yes, but have no fear. I won't shoot.

Hello.

Ms. Schnabelstedt!

Your boyfriend just told me you were hit by a car.

Now sit down.

Are you feeling better?

Uh, yes. I really wanted to...

So, who wants a piece of cake?

Now, you are...

You didn't mention you were in a relationship.

I was skeptical, you as sole guardian for such a young child.

And you're so young yourself.

But your parents would be very proud if they could see what a wonderful environment you've created here.

Yes, we get along so well.

Oh, no.

Mr. Miller, no more cream.

Oh, no. For God's sake.

My figure!

If anyone can handle it, you can Ms. Sieberts.

But we were already on the first name basis, Zeki.

Of course. Yeah.

Now you two lovebirds must tell me how long you've been together.

Well, um...

Uh, almost, almost a year.

We met online.

Then I quickly applied at her school, so we could spend more time together.

I have to say, Ms. Schnabelstedt, I am totally charmed by your partner.

Plus, he's an educator.

I really can't complain.

Jackpot!

You could even adopt a few more kids!

Bye-bye, Isolde! Bye-bye!

Okay, I assume you want something?

Forget it.

So why did you do it?

Because I know how it feels to be alone.

Mmm.

Uh, thank you.

Still high on llama?

No, but I'm totally on substitute teacher.

Man, I'm leaving soon!

You know that.

You have reached your destination.

Yeah, where, you bitch?

Well you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

Only hate the road when you're missing home

Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass

Hoping one day you'll make a dream last

But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes

Maybe one day you'll understand why

Everything you touch surely dies

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

Only miss the sun when it starts to snow

Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low

...heart

It's alive

It's pumping blood

It's your heart

It's alive

It's pumping blood

And the whole wide world is whistling

Thousand-eight-hundred.

Thousand-nine-hundred.

Two-thousand.

And 50 for the glass table.

Here.

Your new tits.

Really? Sweet!

Oh, I'll miss you.

No South America. I can't leave.

But not on my account?

Oh, Zeki. We've been friends too long.

It'd never work.

Because of the things here...

The kids, man.

I'm all they've got.

I didn't know they were all orphans.

Seriously. They're completely fixated on me.

Like little chicks that can only see their mother's ass and follow it everywhere.

And you're that ass.

Yeah, exactly.

An ass with a heart, so to speak?

Shut it and give me a beer.

I have to finish "Robbers". I need to look every word up.

Is it in English?

No, German.

Don't know it, eh?

So, Moor or Spiegelberg?

Who has a better chance at middle-class life?

Karl. Spiegelberg is completely evil.

He's already done too many bad things.

Karl doesn't want to be evil.

Oh, my God! Was that right, Mr. Miller?

Boom!

Where is my push-up bra?

What for? You'll look like a whore if you squish up your mini-boobs.

I want my push-up bra!

Maike!

The nurse is such a great part. And so complex.

Uh, Mr. Miller! Yeah.

Are you going to grease me up?

Are you nuts?

There, ask...

There, ask Laura.

Greta? What?

That was fast.

Listen, I did Romeo and Juliet once.

I played the friar.

It was a little strange at first, since it was a male role, but at some point it's really...

Uh, Mr. Miller said you should help me put on my cream.

Okay.

Mmm uh...

I'll just go take my seat.

You can use more.

Yeah, you need a lot.

Yeah, I tried a new anabolic steroid.

That's totally unhealthy. You know that, right?

Really?

I've always used it. Since I was 11.

Laura, come here, please.

Now.

Listen, Schnabelstedt.

Danger is mine.

He's Romeo and I'm Juliet.

So stay in the background or I'll finish you.

Daniel? Could we warm up?

Go get my energy drink.

No, Romeo.

I told you I'm not a one night stand slut.

Let me do it.

Here's your drink.

Attention!

Next up are the Leibnitz School and the Goethe School.

Children, please get ready.

I'm, I'm nauseous. You know Greta's part, right?

I think so, but... But, I'm...

Juliet. You'll puke up the whole stage.

I want to win. You go change.

What a shitty group!

But no tongue kissing, right?

Mmm-mmm.

Use your tongue.

Juliet?

Yeah, what is it?

Come down, let's chill.

I can't. I'm grounded.

That blows.

She's playing Juliet. A Schnabelstedt has never done that.

Oh, wait. Is she dead?

Why did you overdose?

Let there be coke left on your lips!

Don't laugh.

Then I want to die too!

Romeo!

Frigging junkie.

Fuck, I thought you were dead.

Didn't you get my text message?

No, man.

Then I must be out of credit.

Girl, I told you pre-paids sucked.

I should have listened to you. Yeah, you should have.

I never thought you'd do it so well.

It's almost a bit subversive.

And second prize goes to the drama club of the Goethe School.

Congratulations!

Good morning, Ms. Gerster. Good mor...

Thank you. That's fine.

Our first science fair showcase in 4 years.

Since the dog-shit volcano.

What else are they submitting?

Uh, the robot, for example.

Mmm-hmm.

The teacher can communicate with the whole class with the camera.

You shitheads need to start doing your homework.

Uh, I used the sample sentences from Mr. Miller.

Ms. Gerster, now you have to try the mascara gun.

Yeah.

Is that okay?

I made it all by myself.

Oh, good, great.

Thank you, Chantal. That's enough.

Yeah? Thanks, yes! Great!

Sweet, Ms. Gerster.

Total smoky eyes. Yeah.

Uh, Mr. Miller, we need to talk.

You're contract's up, you know that, right?

Yes, I know.

Good. I suspect you're not a bad thing for this school.

Think about it.

I could get rid of Ms. Schnabelstedt instead.

No, don't worry.

We always need a few eager nerds.

Take this off, please, Chantal.

I, I don't know.

It was only meant to be temporary. Good.

Your choice.

Thank you, children. You did well.

Okay, inventions in the car. We'll head to the fair after school.

Bye, Mr. Miller.

Very nice.

Ms. Schnabelstedt.

Ms. Schnabelstedt!

Damn it! Come help me!

Go change, please.

Did you hurt yourself? Uh, no.

Okay. You go change too. Uh-huh.

Hello?

Where are you? I said be here at midnight.

Sorry, I overslept. Man, buy an alarm clock.

I need to fill the hole by the end of the week.

Shit! I'll have class in a minute.

Oh, oh, I have class.

Your camouflage is getting slightly to split personality.

I might have a job here, okay?

Oh, Zeki, come on. Forget it.

Let's take your money and go away, do some coke and party.

That's not me anymore. And I don't want to be that anymore.

Come help me tonight. What do I wear in a boiler room?

If the bookworm finds out I'm a bank robber, I'm screwed.

I don't even own flat shoes.

What are you doing here?

Zeki?

Wait a second. Listen to me.

I can not believe it. Did you dig this?

Yes, but don't get hysterical. Why did you dig a tunnel?

I was looking for my money, buried under the gym.

You're a criminal.

Were you in prison? Did you escape?

I did my 13 months. And I don't even want the money anymore. 13 months?!

- Broken bottles in the hotel lobby ♪ Hey, just wait, please.

- Seems to me like I'm just scared ♪ Bro, she's fast.

of never feeling it again

I know it's crazy I'm totally happy being a teacher. You're insane.

Why? Our play almost won, and we might win the science fair.

Don't touch me.

Is that why you pretended to like me?

Was I a good cover?

Only at the beginning.

I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid...

Now fuck off. Or I swear I'll call the police.

It's time to let it go

Go out and start again

But it's not that easy

But I've got high hopes

It takes me back to when we started

High hopes

when you let it go

Go out and start again

High hopes

Ooh when it all comes to an end

But the world keeps spinning

around

Your parents will pay forever.

Ms. Schnabelstedt, a moment.

About the gym, I'm assuming. No, no, that's been cleared up.

We dug a tunnel to look for Nazi treasure.

Excuse me?

Yes, and we're really sorry for that.

Mr. Miller caught us. He wanted to call our parents.

Expensive!

When is Mr. Miller coming back?

He's not coming back.

So, the test is off? No!

Of course, it's not.

Hop hop, to class. Chantal, Daniel, go!

You take over. Oh.

Please, Ms. Schnabelstedt, you have to tell him to come back.

No.

He lied. He used me.

And he put your future at risk. You'll all fail because of him.

What makes him so great?

He understood us.

Plus he is totally sweet.

Chantal, really.

So, this exam is your last chance.

It's good, man. Don't get so worked up.

What are you doing?

These are our motivation pictures, man.

Mmm-hmm, what's it supposed to be?

Yeah, the reason we want to improve.

Or people we want to make proud.

Mr. Miller taught us to do it.

He has one too.

A picture of a beer can or something?

Upper right drawer.

WHY?

FOR

Hello.

This is for you.

It was in my locker. Uh...

Please, leave my classroom.

I've known him for 15 years.

He's good stuff.

Or he'd have hooked up with me.

Don't you have class?

Yes.

Hi there.

Hello. Hi.

I've had the money for ages, but I stayed because of the little jerks... and because of you.

I wanted to start over. New job.

The money in your bag is a proof.

Pay for the gym, so the school doesn't go broke.

Keep the rest for Laura.

Someday, she'll want to go abroad... or get new tits.

There's no blood on the money. So, don't flip out.

I'll manage.

I'm not good enough for you anyway. Don't let them fuck with you.

Your Zeki.

He'll do a break-in again if you desert him now.

You made him want to change.

Fuck!

Ha! You said "fuck".

You have to put 1 euro in the fuck frog.

I'd like to cheat now.

No, we're not allowed.

Okay, it's cool. What's up with you guys?

Fuck yourself, I'm not here.

Shit, his mobile phone is off.

I hope he's not screwing up.

What is that?

I made it for you in the burnout clinic.

Is it dishwasher safe?

You think it's shit? No, it's sweet. It's super.

When can you work again?

Just forget it. I'm retiring.

I have certification for 12 weeks of dolphin therapy.

Ingrid, who will take your place?

You've gone mad.

Find another chump.

And let's leave without a farewell-kiss.

Yes, I loaded all the pornos onto the FTP server.

Sorted by...

Anal, oral, vaginal... Jerome!

Can you track Mr. Miller's phone?

Um, negative.

But the robot's still in his car. It has a SIM card.

Ms. Schnabelstedt.

As I recall, you are supposed to administer a test.

It's an emergency. You have to take over.

And I can't discuss it right now.

Jerome!

Class! Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Silence...

Bro.

Time for a withdrawal.

Your gun.

Will it work, Jerome?

Zeki!

Excuse me!

Hush Puppies for 2 minutes, yeah?

OK, you had the money.

And you proved you're more than a felon.

What the fuck is this?

The gym is fucked up. I can't come back anyway.

The students covered for you. They love you.

And... so do...

Zeki?

Do something Jerome.

I can try a satellite. But, that takes 2 days.

And I'll have the BND on my tail.

HERO SECURITY CASH TRANSPORT Put the mask on.

Hello, Mr. Miller!

Who's the little motherfucker?

Shut up. Let me handle it.

What're you doing here?

We're shopping for tonight's punch.

Can you buy us schnapps?

You put alcohol in it?

We want to get Ms. Gerster drunk, so she'll sing karaoke again.

I can't, I can't buy alcohol for you.

Ms. Schnabelstedt would freak out.

But, it's the prom.

Please, Mr. Miller. Just once.

Do something forbidden just this once.

Her voice is echoed in my mind

I count the days 'til she is mine

I can't tell my friends 'cause they will laugh

- I love a member of the staff ♪ Bro, what about money?

What about "the" money? Study the articles, you fuckwit.

Ms. Gerster said we'd get you next year, since you always get the losers.

We'll see.

Will you shoot us with paintballs too?

Maybe, if you're bad. Great. Definitely!

Hey! It is red. ♪ - She bends down

and shows me more

That's what I go to school for

Even though it is a real bore

You can call me crazy

But I know that she craves me

That's what I go to school for

Even though it is a real bore

Girlfriends I've had plenty

None like Miss Mackenzie

That's what I go to school for Zeki! I was so unfair.

You were so great with the kids. You really helped them.

I got your message too late.

I'm on the run. Here.

Oh, God! It's all my fault.

I have to go. Hide this.

Don't look inside.

It's better if you don't know.

Zeki, please, don't leave.

I like you so much. Me too.

Promise you'll wait for me?

How long do you have to go underground?

Four or five years.

Okay.

Ouch!

DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT? YES, NO, MAYBE.

I knew you'd look.

Motherfucker!

But we don't say that in class, eh?

Go get changed.

Give me 5 minutes.

Don't you think I'll...

kiss you.

I don't want to be a criminal anymore.

Because of you. I'm not going to discuss it.

You can't teach anymore.

You square.

Why square? Why am I always the...

Mr. Miller.

Upstairs.

Fuck.

Do you think she knows something?

Please, explain what you did to that class?

It's all my fault. Oh, yeah.

I didn't stick to the syllabus.

Fuck the syllabus.

I didn't say that officially.

I've done this job for 25 years... and I have never cried grading a German exam.

Now, look. Nobody got less than "satisfactory".

Mr. Miller, if even 2/3 of 10b moves to upper school, we'll make top 10 in city rankings.

I want a cafeteria fund, a new copier, and I want smartboards.

No more chalk fingers!

You'll finish out the school year.

I'm not actually a teacher.

I didn't go to college, and I didn't have a high school diploma either.

Maybe, you could go to night school.

Yeah, exactly.

Then we wait 5 years until he's done.

Or until some... enviro-idiot takes away my principal job and makes this a comprehensive junior high.

No way. Absolutely not.

Mmm-mmm.

And that means?

Ms. Schnabelstedt, you're a smarty-pants.

What's his GPA?

Uh...

A...

4.0? Good.


Look here! It came out 2.9.

Congratulations on your 2006 diploma, Mr. Miller.

Advanced placement art and sports.

Sounds realistic, don't you think? Yes.

Good. When the year's over, you'll study.

Until then, you're a teacher.

You get 2000 a month.

Lying to me cost you 200 euros.

Isn't this illegal?

Right.

And what else is illegal?

Tonight's prom.

And I'm still not drunk enough to pick up a certain single father.

But, Ms. Gerster... Ms. Schnabelstedt, listen up.

We teachers... are made fools of every day.

From time to time,... we need to strike back.

See you. Assapissimo.

Drunk... At the bar.

It's not funny. Other people study for that.

I have a natural talent.

Tomorrow, we'll go through the syllabus, before you do anything in class.

Hey, Schnabelstedt.

Think about it.

From now on, you can torture me, make me read books, and fuck me in free periods, until civil service status do us part.

Okay.

Whoa! Mr. Miller!

Hey, Ms. Schnabelstedt.

Tell me...

Is there alcohol in the punch?

Elisabeth!

Just relax for once!

You know I love you

Better

Better than you once knew

And if you're cheating

Cheat on, yeah

But I would never cheat on you

Yeah, I could love you

Better

Better than you once knew

And if you're cheating

Cheat on, yeah

Cause cheating's just the thing you do

It's just a thing you do

Oh yeah yeah

Her voice is echoed in my mind

I count the days 'til she is mine

I can't tell my friends 'cause they will laugh

I love a member of the staff

And I fight my way to the front of class

To get the best view of her ass

I drop a pencil on the floor

She bends down and shows me more

That's what I go to school for

Even though it is a real bore

You can call me crazy

But I know that she craves me

That's what I go to school for

Even though it is a real bore

You can call me crazy

But I know that she craves me

That's what I go to school for

Even though it is a real bore

Girlfriends I've had plenty

None like Miss Mackenzie

That's what I go to school for

That's what I go to school for

Don't I get a kiss... Sorry.

Welcome to our new... firefighter... Cut.

Mr. Miller.

I'm sorry...

Hey.

Hey, Peter Parker, go get a TV.

There's a DVD ready...

Sorry... sorry.

And no children's films.

Oh, God!

So, who wants to be a drug dealer?

Forgotten.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Who laughed?

Chantal Ackerman? Here!

School inspectors could show up at any time and give out demerits.

You may go undress.

Okay! Oh, okay.

Wait, wait.

Not yet, not yet. Go back.

Still rolling.

Chantal?

Yeah. Cry quietly.

They were making name tags and smeared, okay?

That was you. No. No.

No.

I didn't show it. Ask me again?

What's the question?

Mmm.

Oh.

Hello.

Laura, do you have to wear dad's old shirts?

Who's dad, man?

I feel like a technical...

Don't be so funny.

The things you find funny are weird.

Here, reading for the... shooting schedule.

Daniel, don't jump from the pool... from the edge...

Unconventional... Oh...

I'm really worried...

What?

Keep going.

Now put the dick in your mouth.

Can't believe I say that. He's breaking up.

Sorry. Okay.

Really.

Caro doesn't think it's funny. 15, the best age.

It's a penis.

You'll never...

Put the dick in your mouth.

Could we blow it again?

As if! The guy's a killer.

Elyas...

Underwear? Check yourself.

Tighty whities?

Ew! He stinks.

What now?

I say, come down. Let's chill it.

Chill it? Yeah, chill it.

Romeo, you frigging junkie.

Sorry.

Cut, thank you.

Who's that?

Sorry.

Sorry.

Is Ronny here? He's asleep.

He's still drunk.

Say, he's still DRUNK.

He's STILL drunk.

Say he's still DRUNK, not STILL drunk.

Is Ronny... ls Ronny here?

He's asleep. He's STILL DRUNK.

Is Ronny here?

He's asleep. He's STILL drunk.

New script page.

Do you need the question?

If you need it, I... No, I don't need it.

He's sleeping. He's still drunk.

Good. Okay.

Had I it written...

Had I it written, I would tear...

A little complicated. Again?

Ingrid!

Fuck me.

I can hear you.

Ingrid!

I'm...

Here, your piece. You forgot to spritz.

Oh, yeah. From the top.

I forgot to spritz.

Mr. Miller...

Mr. Miller, if even 10...

Mr. Miller, if even... How many?

More, more.

More, more.

That's all.

Take a sip.

Okay, now.

More, more.

Sorry. Let's do it.

More, more.

Shit. Okay, now. Really. It's not...

Really. It's not funny.

Stop it. Don't look at me.

My sister and I are orphans.