Fighting with My Family (2019) Script

If you smell...

What The Rock is cooking!

Oh, my God!

Title's on the line here.

He's going to the top!

He wants to finish The Rock off!

Oh, no!

Wait a minute! The Rock has done it!

The Rock has done it!

The Rock is back and on top of the mountain!

Yes! Yes! Rocky!

Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!

Paige!

I'm watching that!

I wanna watch Charmed.

No! Give me the remote! No!

Give it to me!

Get off, Zak! Get off! Come on! Give it here!

Zak! What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?

If you really wanna choke her out, interlock the fingers.

Yeah. Now pull it tight.

Oh, yeah!

Now she's in trouble. You feel it?

You feel it cut... What is going on?

He's choking me!

What're you gonna do about it?

Well, hello. Whoa!

Yeah, yeah, nice. That's my girl.

Hey, Saraya.

You don't have to look pretty today, princess.

Yeah, but she's not just pretty on the outside, is she?

In there is a heart of gold. Do anything for anyone.

What are you two dickheads after?

Babe, I am a girl down for the under-18s match. No.

I don't wanna be a wrestler.

You would love the buzz, darling.

It's like coke, crack, heroin combined.

Have you done coke, crack, and heroin?

Not combined.

Darling, if I have to give refunds, I am buggered six ways to Sunday.

I need you to do this for your family.

Do you understand that?

No, Dad, I can't wrestle some random girl.

I'll screw it up. What if you're wrestling me?

Let's go!

I can't do this, Zak.

It's like a dance, just follow me.

Okay.

Come on!

Yeah!

Come on, princess!

Come on, darling.

Come on, girl! You can do it!

Come on! Come on!

Come on, you muppets!

Shut up! Sit down!

Hey.

Quick, her hair!

Shut up!

Hey, don't you come in! Don't you come in!

I'm coming in! I'll disqualify you!

Get off her throat! Get off her throat now!

Come on!

All right, I'm gettin' in! I'm gettin' in!

Britani! Britani! Come on!

Britani! Britani!

Don't you dare! Oh, I will!

Zak attack! Zak attack!

Zak attack!

No! No!

Anything but this!

One!

Two!

Three! That's it!

Come on!

The winners, Zak Zodiac and Britani!


That's disgusting, Zak!

It's Dad's, it's not mine! Oh, for God's sake!

I'm gonna pound on you, I swear to God!

Two...

World Wrestling Entertainment, Hutch Morgan's office.

Hello, my darling. It's Ricky Knight calling again.

Ricky... Ricky Knight.

I'm calling from the World Association of Wrestling out of Norwich.

Where?

Norwich.

It's the mustard capital of England.

You've heard of England, innit ya?

You hit Greenland and take a right.

What's this regarding, sir?

I sent Mr. Morgan a tape of my kids...

Zak Zodiac and Britani. Hello!

Yeah, well, in the ring, I'm Britani... and out of the ring, I'm Saraya.

That's 'cause in the ring, I'm Saraya.

You might've heard of me, Sweet Saraya Knight?

You still there, love?

I am. Mr. Morgan will contact you if necessary.

Thanks for calling WWE.

Do you know if he watched the tape?

She hung up! I don't know.

What a dick!

Wrestling! Wrestling?

You wanna come to wrestling?

Wrestling tonight!

Hey! I'm wrestling tonight.

Do you wanna come to wrestling tonight?

No.

Wrestling? No? Okay.

Excuse me. Do you wanna see the wrestling? Live wrestling?

I'm fighting tonight. Do you wanna come watch?

Live wrestling?

Excuse me! Live wrestling?

Come on!

Shit!

I ain't got nothing!

Why'd you run, then?

You said I needed to do more cardio.

That's not mine.

What's the plan, Ez, huh?

You wanna deal? Or do you wanna wrestle?

I wanna wrestle.

Then cut this crap out, mate, or I'm done with you. Okay?

Oh, don't throw that!

That's the same shit Rihanna smokes.

Wrestling? Live wrestling?

Live wrestling!

Excuse me.

Have you ever been to see live wrestling?

No.

Well, can I ask why not?

Because I'm not a child. Or a moron.

You should come.

Yeah, you should see her. She's really good.

But she's a girl.

Oh, God, is she not?

No, I am.

Is this, like, your costume?

No, this is me.

Wow.

Oh, wait, I know you.

You're from that weird family, aren't you?

We're not weird.

Yeah, her brother was on the news.

Didn't he do something mental?

Isn't he in jail?

You should come tonight. It'll be really fun.

We don't like wrestling.

How do you know if you've never been?

I've never had rectal bleeding before, but I'm pretty sure I'm not a fan of that.

How about I shove her head up your arse, and then we can find out?

Freak!

Doors open at 7:00!

Hey, Zak.

Bring your daughter to the slaughter Let her go Let her go Let her go

Let's go, Cal! Come on!

All right, just follow the music.

Here, come here.

Thing of beauty. Right, Sunny, let's go.

Lock up.

Full nelson. Break.

Snapmare. Lovely stuff.

Okay. Mitchie.

Lock up. Full nelson.

Break. Snapmare.

Nice, mate, nice!

Right, Ez, come on, let's do this.

Lock up.

Full Nelson.

Break.

Ez, have you got a stiffy?

It's not my fault!

It does what it wants!

Yeah, well, tell it not to.

Just pretend it's not there. No!

All right, Ez, 50 press-ups now, mate.

What, for having a stiffy?

No, for getting turned on by my sister.

How desperate are you, mate? Oh, shut up!

Come on, let's go, let's go!

One, two...

Till it's gone! Three, four, five, six...

Another stiffy? Yeah!

Seven, eight, nine, ten!

Hello, love. All right.

All right, J.

Understood. Let me ask him, mate. Hang on.

Listen, Glen wants to know if you'll take one of these... in the face.

I don't know. What's it like?

Fine.

Yeah? Stings, innit?

All right.

Glen? Hello, mate. Yeah, he'll do it.

What?

Seriously?

Hang on, Glen.

Glen wants to know if, uh...

If you'll do one of these...

In the willy.

Ricky, you kidding me, mate?

Breathe in. All right.

When you release it, I'll pop it in. All right.

Ready? All right.

On three.

One.

It's a unique sensation.

You all right?

Don't touch me. All right.

Hang on, Glen.

Go on. Yeah. Yeah?

Glen? Yeah, he'll take a bowling ball in the bollocks.

Ah! Sixty quid?

Glen, mate, you're killing me.

It's not gonna be worth him making the trip for that.

I don't wanna see that, right? I don't wanna see that.

Just a nice clean headlock, straight into position. Understood?

Yes, Coach! Great, okay!

All right, Cal. You getting in then, mate?

Oh, no, thanks! I just come here for the smells.

You're a teenager and you're blind.

What else are you gonna do today? Listen to porn?

Calum!

Calum! Calum! Calum!

There we go! Yes, Calum!

All right, seriously, how's he gonna wrestle?

No idea.

What did we do last night, babe?

Four hundred.

Bloody hell.

If things don't pick up soon, I'm gonna have to go back to thieving.

I don't care how desperate things get, you're not going back to thieving.

You're not.

Zak can do it.

Raya can go on the game.

We're gonna be all right.

One, two... Yeah.

...three and turn.

One, two, three and turn.

Oh, can me and Courtney have a word?

Yeah. Sure. Great.

I'm not asking us to bow and scrape or nothing.

I'm just saying...

Courtney's parents are a bit...

You know, what's the word? Posh?

Classy!

Her dad's teetotal.

So am I.

Yeah, but he's teetotal out of choice, Dad.

Not 'cause he's an alcoholic.

La-di-da.

You want us to make a good impression.

Yes. Yeah?

A good impression how? Well, can he put a shirt on?

A shirt on? How bloody posh are they?

That's another thing.

Courtney's dad, he don't swear apparently.

So, let's just keep the effing and jeffing down to a minimum, please.

Oh, unbelievable! Who is her dad?

The Archbishop of shitting...

Kent?

What did I just say?

Raya, help me out.

Look, he wants to make a good impression... because Courtney's great, and he loves her... and he respects her...

And he got her up the duff.

I didn't get her up the duff.

It's known as an unplanned pregnancy.

All pregnancies are unplanned, son.

Whatever happens tonight... it will never be as bad as when you went on in King's Lynn wearing his shorts.

Oh, yeah, your little willy fell out.

Little? Why would you say little?

Big enough to get Courtney up the duff.

Ugh. That is gross.

Look, for Courtney's sake... let's all just try and act a little bit normal.

All right. Okay.

Dad?

Yes, I will behave.

Thank you.

May I just say my husband and I are delighted to finally make your acquaintance.

Absolutely, and likewise.

Courtney tells us that you're all, uh, wrestlers.

Yeah, whole family. Yup. Yes, we are.

Whole family of wrestlers.

And our half-brother, Roy.

So, what sort of people enjoy wrestling?

That's a good question.

I mean, it's all fake anyway, isn't it?

Come again?

It's not fake, it's fixed.

Yeah, if it was fake, would I have broken half the parts of my body deaf?

His left leg bends both ways.

Well, that's nothing. You should see his cock.

Mum.

Sorry.

Penis, you should see his penis.

Have you got another question or...

I can, yes.

How did you get into wrestling?

It's quite a romantic story.

We like romantic stories, so...

Oh, right, well, you'll like this one.

Well, when I met Rick, I was thinking of killing meself.

Pills.

I was homeless, abused, living on the street, you know.

Yep.

I myself had done eight years in prison.

Prison?

What was that for?

Mainly violence. Mainly violence, yeah.

Bit of armed robbery. You know?

Anyway, I came back to the flat one night, and there was, uh, guns... money on the table, everything.

Sorry, there was guns and... Money.

Guns and money, right. Yeah.

Done a job, hadn't you?

And I looked at him...

The look said, essentially...

"Ricky, turn your back on crime.

Otherwise, I'm gonna turn my back on you."

And he did. That's what I did.

Never looked back.

Some people find religion, but wrestling...

We found wrestling, didn't we? It was our salvation.

We found each other and all.

Yeah.

It's a tale as old as time itself, babe.

Hmm.

Oh.

Mum.

Not this now, please.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Can I put you on speaker for a second?

Yeah, hang on.

Who is it? I don't know.

Go ahead. Am I speaking to Zak and Britani? Yeah.

My name is Hutch Morgan. I'm calling from WWE.

We were very impressed by your tape.

In April, we're bringing SmackDown to the O2 in London.

And we'd like both of you to come down and try out for us.

Hello?

They'd be very happy to accept.

Good. And we already have a Britani, so just think of an alternative name.

Yeah, sure, okay.

Thank you so much!

Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much, sir.

Oh, my God!

WWE!

Oh, my God!

Zak, they want us!

I told you, I told you! It was a given.

Sorry, what is the WWE?

Say what?

He is the greatest professional athlete in the world today!

Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!

Turn it sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass!

That is extraordinary flexibility from that young lady.

Austin, face first...

Never seen a reaction to anybody like this since the Beatles!

Because the champ is here!

For a wrestler, it don't get bigger than the WWE.

And to be WWE champion...

Oh... It's the pinnacle. Okay?

It's something that we have wished for since we first stepped in the ring.

And Zak's got it all worked out.

We'd get a big villa in Florida.

With a nursery, of course.

Nice big playroom, swimming pool.

I'll live next door, so I can babysit whenever.

And when they come back as Superstars, we'll have full houses every night.

We'll be shifting a ton of merchandise.

You should buy shares in this.

No, seriously.

I've got the paperwork here, if you wanna have a gander.

Dad, not now.

All right.

Do you think you're likely to get in?

Will he get in?

I've been training this one since before he had fur on his bollocks.

Sorry, love, ball bag.

You should see Raya in the ring.

She's like a beautiful ballet dancer.

The biggest thrill I get is when people say, "She reminds me of you."

These tryouts, are they very taxing?

Oh, yeah.

It's like The Hunger Games, you know.

My other boy, Roy... he did it a few years ago, actually.

So he's in America now?

No, no. He's, um...

He's in prison.

When Roy didn't get signed, he didn't take it too well.

He started drinking, picking fights.

He threw a chunk of tarmac at a bloke's head and put him in a coma.

Look. Zak's not Roy.

And he's gonna make you and Courtney the most proud people in the world.

I know this 'cause he's my brother.

You can trust me.

My name's Zak Zodiac.

When I was three years old...

I could name every WWE wrestler just by looking at his boots.

Zak Zodiac.

Every wrestler just by looking at his boots.

When I was three years old, I could name...

You all right?

All right. What's wrong?

I know when you're lying.

This is our shot, Zak.

I know.

But what if I screw up?

You won't.

Come on. You're gonna smash it tomorrow.

How do you know?

Because you're a Knight.

Wrestling's in your blood.

That's not good. That makes it sound like hepatitis.

Yeah, it is.

We're riddled with wrestling.

And there's no cure.

Okay?

Okay.

Tryouts that way? We're here for the tryout.

We're here for the tryouts. Yeah. Yeah, that way.

Great.

Sorry. We're here for the tryouts. Tryouts that way?

They're downstairs. Great. Thank you.

Whoa!

So cool. Can you imagine it?

20,000 people just shouting your name.

Zodiac! Zodiac! Zodiac! Just insane.

Whoa!

Sorry about that. Sorry, mate.

Dick me dead, bury me pregnant.

That's a good pick-up line.

Zak Zodiac, mate. What's up, Zak?

What an honor to meet you, mate.

Oh, thanks, Zak. Yeah, yeah, Zak, Zak. Yeah. Cool.

This is my sister, Saraya. We're huge fans.

Thank you so much. Since we were kids.

Yeah, we've been fans since you had hair.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, it's a choice. A damn good one, too.

Yeah, no, it looks good. It looks great, fantastic.

See you guys.

Rock, Rock, Rock!

Yo.

What's happening? Are you getting back in the ring?

You wrestling again? Uh, no. No, no, no.

I'm just shooting a movie here in London... and I'm gonna surprise the crowd tonight.

Gonna electrify. Don't tell anybody.

No, no. No.

All right, see you guys.

Rock, Rock, Rock! Hey.

We're wrestlers as well, actually.

We're actually doing the tryouts today.

Oh, cool.

Our whole family wrestle.

WAW, up in Norwich.

You've probably heard of it.

Uh, no.

No?

Actually, whilst you're here...

He should come to one of our shows!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

We could get you tickets...

Half-price, probably.

Half-price?

I'll text Mango Pete, get him on the list.

Yeah, yeah. Do you need a plus-one?

Uh, that's awesome. Thank you for the invite.

I don't think I'll be able to make it, though.

Good luck with your tryout. Okay.

Thanks. Thanks, mate.

Rock, Rock, Rock!

Yes, Zak.

What advice would you give us? If we wanna...

Win over the crowd.

Win over the crowd. If we wanna...

If we wanna be the next you.

What are your names again? My name is...

It doesn't matter what your names are!

You walk around here interrupting The Rock.

You, like you haven't seen the sun in 20 years!

You, like you just stepped out of Oliver Twist!

Please, sir, may I have some more advice, sir?

You want some advice?

Here's The Rock's advice! Shut your mouth!

What you want! What you want! How about what The Rock wants?

The Rock wants you to go out there, take no prisoners, have no regrets, have no fear!

Lay it all out on the line!

Because if you don't do that...

The Rock is gonna find your friend Mary Poppins.

He's gonna take her umbrella.

Yeah, he's gonna shine it up real nice.

He's gonna turn that sumbitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy asses!

There's your advice!

Straight out of the Jabroni-beating, pie-eating, trailblazing, eyebrow-raising... entertaining the globe, never hotter... talking to two rejects from Harry Potter!

So that's how you win over the crowd.

Yeah.

Even though this crazy wrestling world is a fictionalized world...

The fans know 1,000% if you're not being real.

All right? That guy just now, that was The Rock.

The Rock is me. Dwayne Johnson...

Just with the volume turned way up, the treble adjusted, the bass.

Same guy.

So don't worry about being the next me.

Be the first you.

Hey! Are you two here for the tryouts?

Yeah. Yeah.

You can't just hang out with The Rock.

What are you, Make-A-Wish kids?

Let's go!

Better go.

Thanks, mate! Yeah!

Thanks, Dwayne! You got it!

That was The Rock!

Insane, insane. Come on, let's go.

To be a WWE Superstar, you have to have two things.

Number one, you gotta have the skills and number two, you have to have the spark.

Now, skills, that's obvious, right?

You gotta be able to wrestle.

The spark, well...

That's the magic dust.

It's what the audience falls in love with.

It's why they buy your poster.

It's why they come back every week.

It's why they chant your name.

It's why they buy a six-inch action figure of you.

Do you see yourself as a six-inch action figure?

Yeah. Yes, I do. I see myself as WWE Champion.

Ding, ding, ding! Bingo, guys!

That's exactly right. That's called a great attitude.

And that's a big plate of yes.

That is one of the biggest requirements that you have to have to be a WWE Superstar.

And you don't have any of the other things.

But the attitude's the one thing you're in control over and the attitude's the one thing that you have.

Name.

Zak Zodiac.

Sounds a little bit like a dancer at a male strip club.

Why do you wanna wrestle?

I wanna be a wrestler because since I was three years old...

I could name every single WWE wrestler just by looking at their boots.

And I've wanted to be one ever since.

I'm passionate, I'm determined...

And I'm the toughest bastard in any room...

Including this one.

Oh, probably shouldn't swear, not when there's ladies present.

Sorry, miss. Sorry about that.

Miss, what's your name?

Saraya. No, sorry, Britani.

Do you not remember your name?

No, I do. It's just they asked me to change it.

Do you remember what you changed it to?

Yeah. Okay, that's good.

What is it?

Uh, Paige.

As a wrestling name, Paige?

Yeah.

Paige feels a little more like she might work at the perfume counter at the mall...

Like, "Do you want a free sample?"

No, Paige is the name of a witch from a TV show that I like.

So you liked the name off the show and then you took it?

Yeah.

Nobody's gonna pay to watch a timid little British girl wrestle.

Yeah, well, not all British girls are timid.

Just like not all Americans are arrogant wankers.

Just saying.

Why do you wanna wrestle, Paige?

Been wrestling since I was 13. My whole family wrestles.

But why do you wanna wrestle?

Been wrestling since I was 13. My whole family wrestles.

But why do you wanna wrestle?

Um...

It's an escape, isn't it?

From the real world.

And when I'm in that ring with my family, working together, flowing together...

It feels like the world just disappears.

And I sort of feel like I belong somewhere.

She showed us her heart.

And I wanna vomit.

You, who got you dressed?

The whole thing was your thing?

That's your salad? Yeah. Yeah.

That's what you mixed up in a bowl?

Yeah, I like it. Okay.

Do you know what a push-up is?

Come on, guys. Pace, pace, pace!

Who knew? A leopard in sheikh's clothing.

Cupid's Arrow!

You need to play everything out more, all right?

Sell your snaps harder, okay? Shot, kick, bulldog.

Ready? Yeah, good one.


Nice finisher. Is that your move?

Yeah, Zak Attack.

You dick.

Give yourselves a big hand, everybody.

That was a tremendous amount of energy and effort... and I want to thank all of you for that.

It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and I respect that.

If I call your name, please step forward.

That means you will be coming with me to Florida, where you will join NXT Developmental.

At which point, we will assess whether or not you get to go on to the WWE.

If I do not call your name, then this is the end of the line for you.

Paige.

Thank you all very much.

Well done.

This isn't right.

Raya.

You have to take my brother.

Excuse me?

No one deserves this more than Zak. Why didn't you pick him?

99% of the people don't get picked.

He was running rings around those other guys!

We're not looking for ring runners.

No, wait. You have to explain why you didn't pick him!

I don't have to explain anything.

I wish you the best, son.

But this is the end of the line for you.

If he's not going, neither am I.

Raya, don't be stupid, okay? Is that a threat?

Yes. No.

You know, thousands of people apply for this opportunity every week.

Now, I'm gonna give you ten seconds to let me know that you want it.

Not without Zak.

Coach, she wants this. Don't listen to her.

Raya, let's just leave it. Come on!

Five.

Raya.

Four.

You're not just doing this for you, Raya, are you?

You're doing it for the family.

Three.

Two. Yeah, okay, I want this.

See you in Florida.


Well?

They didn't take me.

But... my little sister just became the first 18-year-old English girl, to be signed by the WWE!

Champagne!

Ez, oi, go down to the corner shop, nick a bottle of champagne. Go on.

This is so exciting!

You all right? Oh, yeah, of course. Fine.

Well done, Raya.

Attaboy.


Suits you, that.

Remember when we made these?

Yeah, of course.

Take your bag down, yeah?

Yeah, please. Thanks.

Come on. Chop-chop. In the van.

I'm not gonna be able to make it to the airport.

What're you talking about?

Just got some things I need to do.

Your sister's going to America.

Yeah, I know. Just can't get out of it.

It's fine. If he's busy.

All right.

Sorry, I just got things to do.

I get it. It's cool.

All right, well then...

Good luck with it all.

Good luck with the baby.

Yeah, yeah. Cheers.

Okay.

Don't cry.

Huh?

At the airport. You know what Mum's like.

If you're crying, she'll start crying and then you're not gonna wanna go, are you?

So just put your hood up, don't look back.

Okay.


Bye. Bye.

Oh, God.

Come on. You're all right. Be strong.

I really wish Zak was coming with me.

Yeah, we all do, love.

Can you take care of him?

He'll be all right.

He's the tough one of the family.

When I was living on the streets, I didn't think...

I'd be lucky enough to have kids.

Let alone one with the talent to get bloody rich and famous.

You go get it, baby, okay. You're amazing.

You're absolutely amazing.

You're gonna be a star, babe.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Go on. Don't go.

I love you. I love you. Proud of you, babe.

Bye, Raya.

Love you, Ray.

Love you, babe. I love you, princess.

We're proud of you, darling.

Come on, babe.

Love you! We're gonna miss you!

You're gonna be amazing.


Hey.

Hey.

NXT? Uh, yeah, hi.

Us, too. How's it going? Good.

I'm all right. Long flight. Tired. Hi.

Oh, I'm Kirsten. Hi.

Hi, I'm Jeri-Lynn. Hi. Oh. Hi.

Hey, I'm Madison. Hi. I'm Saraya.

No, Britani. Wait, Paige.

I love your accent.

You sound like a Nazi in a movie.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

I love that. Say something else.

Like what?

Uh, anything. Here. Read something.

Okay.

Uh...

"The sudden fire claimed the lives of five orphans."

I love it.

"The charred remains of the children could only be identified from dental records."

So sexy, right? So sexy.

I am so jealous of you right now.

Thank you.


Welcome.

Well, this is where we assess you... and see whether or not you get to go on to WWE.

Look to your left. To your right.

Before you leave Orlando, at least one of you will be a stripper.

How many of you wanna be on the WWE main roster?

Yes, Coach!

Would you like to be WWE World Champion?

Yes, Coach!

What I'm determined to find out is, do you want it bad enough... to push your ass past what you think you're physically capable of?

Yes, Coach!

There's two ways out.

Either I cut you, or you ask for the horn.

Because you know that you got yourself in over your head.

All you gotta do is squeeze it, makes it all stop.

Would you like the horn? No, Coach!

You. No, Coach.

Anybody want the horn? No, Coach!

Good! Welcome to the suck. Let's have some fun.

Go!

Set!

Keep moving, guys. Keep moving.

Down!

Up!

Down!

Bump! And again!

Squeeze the horn and go home! No, Coach!

Squeeze the horn! No!

I ain't goin' back Till the bottle runs dry I ain't goin' back Till the car gets high I ain't goin' back If I do shake your hand, that means this is the end of the line for you.

Thank you for your time.

I'll see the rest of you tomorrow.

Barry's gone.

Take the wrist.

Swing under and take the head.

Good. And again. Come on.

Push, push! Okay, dig deep!

Get on your feet. Get on your feet.

Are we done here?

All right, go to the locker room.

Come on, Paige. Push it, push it up.

What if you gotta do a belly-to-back suplex and lift someone?

You can't lift them, you drop them on their head. You'll break their neck.

You'll give me a shit-ton of paperwork.

I hate paperwork. I can barely write, Paige.

Push it!

Keep going! Nice, big, long push, Courtney!

Come on! Good girl.

Come on!

A nice, long, deep push.

Good morning, wrestling nerds.

Good morning, Coach!

Welcome to promo class.

Now, as you all know, wrestling is storytelling.

It is soap opera in spandex.

Good versus evil. Babyface versus heel.

We do a lot of our storytelling in the ring with wrestling... but equally as important, you must be able to storytell on the mic.

This is an essential part of being able to get over with the fans.

This is your opportunity to let them know who you are.

Tell them what you're about.

The WWE can put you on the main roster... but only the fans can keep you there.

Who wants to go first?

My name is Jeri-Lynn.

And I may look like the girl next door... but underneath this is a firecracker.

And I am going to blow you...

Excuse me? ...out of the water!

My 10-year-old just asked me some questions I don't wanna answer.

Let's put it together. Yeah.

Let's keep it one. Of course.

My name is Augustus Heights.

Augustus? Augustus Heights.

Are you a polo player?

Uh, no. Are you gonna come out in full polo garb? No.

How did you come up with Augustus Heights?

It's my name.

Is it really? Yeah.

Okay, let's go again.

My name is Augustus Heights.

Are you a guy who's going to inherit a beer company?

No.

Let's come up with a wrestling name.

Augustus Heights feels like a guy who's gonna politely ask me for some butter.

My name is Paige. And I am all the rage.

Girls wanna be me. Guys wanna get to know me.

May sound like bragging, but it ain't if it's true.

It ain't about the size of the dog in the fight... it's about the size of the fight in the dog.

And this dog is about to bite hard!

I love it.

Yeah?

When I heard it 20 years ago.

Those are like lines you could get off a Dixie cup.

Well, people liked it in Norwich, so...

Yeah, but here they have cable, and running water, and electricity... and they would've heard their 5-year-old brother... use it at a dinner table.

You go out and you take that in front of a live crowd here... it's like throwing a pork chop to a bunch of hyenas.

They're gonna chew you up.

You gotta find something that's specific to you.

Something that only you can say.

All right, let's go. Next.

My name is Nick Barnes.

For those of you who don't know me, let me fill you in.

Where I come from...

...you have to work hard to get what you want.

But what I see here is a bunch of lazy wannabe wrestlers.

I say, do it! Do it? Yeah?

All right.

Go for Hutch.

Hello, Mr. Morgan? It's Zak Zodiac calling again.

Just wanted to check up on the tape.

We reviewed your tape, and we were all very impressed.

Thank you, sir. Thank you, thank you.

That means a lot. Thank you.

But the, uh, answer is still no.

Could I speak to someone else, please, sir?

Someone higher up maybe.

I'm afraid not.

Sir, I don't think you understand. Um...

You see, this is my dream, this.

I do understand.

No, no, you don't.

Look, I have a kid now, sir, and I've made my girlfriend promises.

We're looking for something you don't have.

What's that, then?

Something extra.

Something extra? A spark.

I have that. I've got that in buckets, mate.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do. I do.

No, you don't.

And what? But my sister does?

Let it go, son.

Please, please don't do this. All right. Don't do this.

Let it go.

I can't. I can't let it go because this is all I can do, right?

Then you'll have to find something else.

Goodbye. I...

Jesus...

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?

You're supposed to pull it, not actually kick me in the ovaries.

I'm sorry.

Okay. Doesn't matter. Let's go again.

Oh, my...

I'm so sorry.

What was that? It was a mistake.

Yeah, no, I know wrestlers that are paralyzed from mistakes.

Where did you wrestle before?

I didn't.

So, what did you do?

I was a model.

Okay, um...

Right. You need to look at me so I know when to move.

Okay.

Oh, my God! Jesus!

What happened?

She slapped her. Like a for-real slap.

No. It was a receipt.

Looked like a slap. It's called a receipt.

You botch a move, you get a receipt.

All right, apologize. For what?

Receipts are important.

It teaches you not to make the same mistake twice.

We don't give receipts here. I said apologize.

Well, you should. They'd pick things up a lot quicker.

When I was learning, I got loads of receipts from my brother.

This isn't some inbred, backyard wrestling unit.

This is the NXT.

We don't do the receipt stuff around here.

So, if I ask you to apologize or do anything else, I expect you to do it.

I was just teaching her how to...

Paige, I just asked you to apologize!

I'm sorry.

It's fine.

All right. Get back at it.

You okay?

Yeah. You wanna switch up?

Yeah, yeah, I'll switch in.

I miss you all so much.

I just lie awake, thinking about what you're all doing.

I haven't even met Caden yet!

You ain't missing much, just shitting and pissing.

How's the training, love?

It's really hard.

I mean, it's meant to be hard.

If it was easy, any poor bastard could do it.

What's your competition like?

Hmm. All the other girls are gorgeous.

Yeah, they've probably been chosen for their looks, unlike you.

Thanks, Mum. No, I don't mean that, do I?

I just mean that WWE, they take on models and cheerleaders and girls that just wanna get famous jiggling their tits and their ass.

They don't have girls with wrestling experience like you.

You're gonna blow them out of the water.

Maybe.

Ever since we announced you'd been signed... it has gone absolutely mental over here.

We are selling a ton of merchandise.

What merchandise?

Who's that?

It's you, innit? You.

Who's making them?

Are you running a sweatshop?

It is not a sweatshop!

Nah, in a sweatshop, you get paid.

All right, no more rice for you, huh?

Hey, babe... number one best-selling item.

Ho-ho.

Signed picture.

But who's signing them?

Who do you think? I got RSI.

Yeah, but that is from wanking, not writing.

Wait. Guys, "Paige" should have an "I" in it.

Should it?

Puh, ah... Ah, yeah.

Yeah. It doesn't matter.

None of our fans can read anyway.

Listen, I had a brainwave about the Christmassacre.

Zak Zodiac versus the WWE's...

Paige! Paige!

I don't know, Dad. I'm not sure.

You're gonna win.

The fans will love it.

What do you think, Zak?

Zak loves the idea! We sold a lot of tickets, babe.

Wait, you sold tickets? Without telling me?

We're telling you now.

Look at that. Look at that! That's all you.

You should be proud.

You're doing that for your family.

Now, imagine you get on the main roster. Huh?

We'll make millions!

What if I don't get on the main roster?

What? Don't talk like that, darling.

Look, you just work hard, yeah? Keep focused.

We're all proud of you. We believe in you.

Yeah. Bye, babe.

Love you, Raya! We love you! Bye.

Bye! Love you!

He's not the smartest cookie.

Yeah, he's been dropped on his head too many times.

Hey!

I just wanted to explain the receipt.

I got a bit nervous, because Kirsten... up until a few months ago, she was just a model.

Sometimes, WWE, they hire girls... who just wanna jiggle their tits and ass and get famous, basically.

Like cheerleaders, models, dancers, whatever.

I was a model.

Ah, right.

Cheerleader.

Cool.

Well, at least you're not dancers.

I'm...

See you later!

Ladies and gentlemen...

...we are NXT!

And the future is now!

Introducing to the WWE Universe for the very first time...

Madison!

Please welcome Jeri-Lynn!

Welcome Kirsten!

I love you, Kirsten!

All the way from the UK...

Paige!

Yeah, this is what I paid for, three hot chicks and my dead grandmother.

Look on the bright side.

At least she's not in a bikini.

And now it's time for the WWE Divas Promo Challenge!

My name is Kirsten.

And I'm the future of NXT.

And the future looks good!

But what can I say about Paige?

Where's your black cat?

I could say, I'm gonna rearrange your teeth.

Ooh!

But you're British, I'd be doing you a favor!

Now, the world can be a very dark place.

That's why people want sunshine and glamour.

Which is why I'm gonna stick your broomstick up your butt and fly you home to Hogwarts!

What you got?

Come on, Ozzy Osbourne!

Sing something!

Speak! The power of Christ compels you!

We can't hear you!

You just suck!

Freak!

Yeah, gonna have to get used to it, though.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Hey, you okay?

Mmm-hmm.


Jesus Christ, Zak!


Hello! You've reached Zak. Please leave a message.


Zak's here, Zak's here! Y'all, let's go, let's go.

All right, let's go. Come on! Let's do this!

What's going on?

Why'd he just leave like that?

Dude?

Guys, we're not wrestling.

I take it we're not wrestling today.

Yeah.


Hey! Hey!

Hey!

You're blonde!

Yeah.

Thought I'd change it up a bit.

Who did it?

I did it myself.

Really? Last night, yeah.

Right on. Nice!

And you're so tan!

I did that myself, too.

Looks so natural. Nice!

It's good to change it up.

Yeah. Sometimes, I wanna do that.

Did someone break up with you?

No.

Whatever.

Well, should we load up?

Yeah!

Yeah, we'll go get a seat.

This is our last day before the holiday!

I'm not gonna have your asses for a week!

So, please, show me that you wanna be here!

Fight for it!

Come on! Get her out of the ring!

Let me see how bad you want it!

Next group up!

Don't be shy with those!

You wanna headline WrestleMania.

You wanna be Divas Champion, then show me!

All right, come on, ladies!

Here we go! Look who got a makeover to come in last!

Come on! You look like a snow leopard!

Thank God for the camouflage pants so the hunters can't see you in the sand!

Flip the tire three times!

Three times! Come on, English, let's go!

That's two. Come on.

How're you gonna flip a girl five nights a week in a ring... if you can't even flip a vulcanized rubber circle?

Oh, shit! I can't!

I can't...

Put yourself out of your misery.

Next group up! Bar's been lowered!

I don't even know if I wanna be here anymore.

Talk about me again behind my back... and I swear I'll give you more than a receipt.

I wasn't talking about you.

You are so fake.

No one was talking about you. Oh, my God.

I saw you! We weren't talking about you!

What, do you think I'm stupid?

I've been sat right there just watching you!

We're talking about her.

Who is she?

My daughter... who I haven't seen in four months because I'm here... putting up with your shit, so she can have a better life.

I didn't know you had a daughter.

No, you don't know anything about me.

Or them, or about our lives, or why we're here.

Well, you never told me.

You never asked.

Why would you?

We're just tits and ass, right?


Well, the girls took a vote.

You're the homecoming queen.

Thanks.

How do you think this ends for you?

On the main roster. Divas Champion.

You realize that today was about proving that you deserve that.

Right?

I'll start proving myself when you put me with real wrestlers.

Wrestlers like my brother.

Your brother's a journeyman.

No. Yes.

No! There are stars... and there's journeymen who take the hits... that make the stars look good.

And your brother's a journeyman.

He's the punching bag.

He's the guy with the bad shorts with no fanfare.

No, you bring him here...

I bring him out here and then what?

We put him on the road for 200 days a year?

He's chasing fame that's never gonna come to him?

His wife starts screwing the garbage man

'cause he's never around?

His kid can't remember his face, and for what?

Maybe he'd get a shot at a pay-per-view event.

And he would try so hard to make an impression... he'd probably let a real star... throw him off a 30-foot cage onto a concrete floor.

Have his shoulder bone... just kinda splice right through his rotator cuff... tear it clean in half.

And then the doctor would say, "That's it. Your wrestling career is over."

But why quit then? He wouldn't stop.

So then the wife would leave him and take the kid.

And then, he would just keep chasing the pipe dream... until he'd end up 4,000 miles away from anyone that ever loved him.

He'd be bitter, and he'd be mean.

And he'd be all by himself... just wishing that, God, he could get his kid to return his phone call.

Is that the life that you want for your brother?

No, I know that wouldn't happen to Zak.

I didn't think that would happen to me.

We didn't sign your brother.

And we shouldn't have signed you.

You're weak in your body... and your spirit's weak.

You think it's tough now. This is only gonna get harder.

You should go home.

Wrestle with your family and be happy.

That's how this ends for ya.

It's gonna be four grand up, love.

There's a big buzz about the Christmassacre, you know.

I'm thinking that I might have to do maybe two nights, babe, if you can hang around.

Bloody hell! Look at that tan!

Willy Wonka called, he needs you back at the factory.

Hi, Mum.

Come here, baby!

Who made you do all that? Huh?

All of that. No one.

It's America, it's different. Right.

Anyway, how's Caden? How's Courtney?

Caden's beautiful, yeah. Yeah?

Yeah. And how's Zak?

Yeah, no, Zak's good. Yeah?

Yeah, he's good. Okay.

Hey!

Hey. Hey.

You all right? How you doing?

Yeah, good, yeah, good.

How are you?

Yeah, well...

I tried calling you loads of times, but...

Yeah, my phone's probably been off. Caden...

Been working a ton.

Oh, okay.

How is the States?

Uh...

Yeah, I've been wanting to talk to you about that, actually.

Um...

I'm not gonna go back.

It's harder than we ever thought it would be.

And I... I can't do it.

I was hoping you could help me tell Mum and Dad about it later.

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Ho, ho, ho!

Thanks.

Please welcome... the reigning WAW Champion... the unstoppable, the untamable...

Zak Zodiac!

And for one night only, in the flesh... the next great star of the WWE...

All the way from America...

Your homecoming queen, and my baby girl!

Paige!

Yeah, Paige! We love you, Paige!

All right. Let's go.

Bit of back and forth.

You get the better of her.

Last minute, you smash him up. Yeah?

Good, let's go. Yeah? Mmm-hmm.

You ready? Ring the bell!

Come on, baby girl! Come on, Paige!

Come on, girl!

Yeah.

Zak, come on.

Zak! Get out, Zak!

What's he doing?

What?

Zak! Zak!

Hey!

Go easy, would you?

You're going too hard.

No, no, no! Zak, no! Don't!

Ref, get involved! I'm warning ya!

She's fine, she's fine! Ease up on her.

Come on, Raya, get up!

Daddy, I don't know what he's doing.

Big smile, Raya. Big smiles.

Yeah!

One! Yes!

Two! Three!

No! Two! No, three!

That was two. Get up, Paige!

Zak, get off me! No, no, no!

Let me down, Zak!

Don't you dare! No!

Zak! No!

One! Zak!

Two! Let me up!

Three!

Shut up! Raya, you all right?

What was that?

Slam me three times! Is that a joke?

Zak? Oi, dickhead!

You could've broken her neck!

She was in the ring, too.

She's a big girl. Give her shit.

She does what she's told! She follows the script!

Does she?

Shut up, Zak.

Well, you wanted my help telling them.

Let's tell 'em. No, shut up!

What is going on? Nothing. It's fine.

Look, babe.

You ain't pregnant, are ya? No, I'm not pregnant, Dad.

I will hit the roof. No, I'm not pregnant!

It's fine. She's quitting.

What? You prick.

You're welcome.

Wait.

You what?

Raya, I'm confused. Is he... Is he joking?

No, I can't do it.

Of course, you can do it.

No, I wake up... I work out, I train...

I come home, I can't sleep.

And then we do it all again the next day.

I'm really lonely and I have no friends.

Yeah, life of a wrestler. Get a cat!

No, Dad, I don't wanna be 4,000 miles away.

I wanna be here, I wanna be with my family.

You're doing this for your family!

Yeah, I thought Zak would be there.

Well, he ain't there!

He bollocksed it up! So did Roy!

I'm not letting you bollocks it up and all!

I'm not going back!

You are going back to the States, if I have to drag you there myself!

You're an alchie ex-con, Dad! They're not gonna let you in!

Oi, you watch your mouth! You... Stay!

Raya.

Raya, wait. Come here.

I know it's hard, okay? I do.

But you cannot give this opportunity up. It's massive.

You're gonna regret it.

And it's what you've always wanted.

Yeah? Or is it what you've always wanted?

What do you mean?

Mum.

You named me after your own ring name.

Go away.

Ray, Courtney rang.

Your brother's not come home.

If you don't wanna go back to America, we're not gonna make you.

Shut up!

Has everyone gone mad?

If she gets on the main roster, she is set for life.

She is, or you are? All of us!

Jesus Christ!

You want me to go back to robbing banks to feed this family? What family?

Our daughter's miserable, one son's in prison, the other one's hanging on by a thread.

Zak is fine!

Would you get your thick head out of your fat ass? He's not fine!

We're out looking for Zak!

If you have to go back to robbing banks to feed this family, so be it.

'Cause at this rate, we ain't gonna have one to feed.

Dad?

What, babe? Dad, that's Zak's car.

That's his car, right there.

I ain't joking. These builders... they said they're gonna take about a month.

How long they been there? Come on, how long?

Six, seven weeks.

Every week, they boost the prices, though.

They need this, they need that.

A little bit of extra dough for this...

Hey!

Oi!

What're you doing, mate?

What?

You just stuck your elbow out.

No, I didn't.

You calling me a liar?

No, I'm calling you a wanker.

I didn't hear that.

Then you're a deaf wanker as well.

Come on, then!

Let's get him!

Come on, then!

Come on! Come on, then!

Come on!

Come on!

Hey!

That is enough! Let's go.

It's done.

That's Ricky Knight.

Silly sod!

Yeah, that's enough. It is enough!

Zak!

Mum, it's fine. We've got it. It's fine.

Silly bugger, what're you doing? Come here!

Where you going?

Zak!

Yeah, you're right. He's fine.

Jules.

Oi, come here.

Can we just talk for a second, please?

Zak, why won't you talk to me?

'Cause I can't even look at you.

Why?

Why? Why?

Okay, do you actually know what it's like, Raya, to want one thing in life?

One dream that you think about every single day... you work for, and you train for, and you get that close to it... and then your own sister takes it away from you.

And then it turns out she doesn't even want it in the first place.

That's why.

I didn't take your dream, Zak.

No, then why am I still here?

Because they didn't want you!

I'm sorry, and it is so shitty, but it is not my fault.

And it's not yours.

It is just how it is.

Right.

Yeah. So you can either curl up into a ball and die... or you can live with it and move on... and start seeing all the things you've got here.

What have I got here?

A beautiful son, a girlfriend that loves you.

All those kids at the gym.

Zak, you're teaching a blind kid how to wrestle.

How is that even possible?

Just 'cause millions of people aren't cheering when you do it... it doesn't mean it's not important.

I didn't take your dream, Zak. It was my dream, too.

Then why are you throwing it away?


Hey.

Can I come in?

Your mum is right.

If you don't wanna go back, don't.

You don't have to do anything that me or Mum or anyone want you to do... unless you wanna do it.

You are the spark in our lives... no matter what you do with yours.

Come here.

What have you done with this hair?

I don't know.

It's like kissing an afghan.


Can I help you with something?

You didn't cut me and I didn't quit.

I have a showcase in six weeks.

I don't have time for any drama.

I know.

Are you sure you wanna be here?

Yes.

Then you better prove it to me.

Yes, Coach.

Let's move!


One.

Two.

Can I join?

Come on!

Look at them, look at me, go, land at the same time, go!

I'm sorry.

Come on, you're not a wrestler.

Squeeze the horn and go home.

Come on, you came to Florida, you got a nice tan... now it's over. Squeeze it.

Squeeze it.

Don't you dare.

Squeeze his horn and I will give you such a receipt.

Horn's right here. Just one squeeze.

Don't you touch his dirty horn.

Come on, Jeri, let's go!

You can squeeze it. You can do it!

You got nothing in the tank. Come on, Jeri! You got it!

Take the horn. Take the horn.

Stop, take it!

Take it. Take it.

Come on! Bring it in!

Take my wrists.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this?

This is your time.

Okay! Yeah.

You're not the girl I paid for.

I know. The girl you paid for is tied up in your basement.

You suck! Yeah, but you swallow.

Eat me!

No, thanks. I'm trying to bulk up.

Them, me, go.

Whoa, Madison, hey.

All right, just lose the suicide dive, you're not gonna get it.

No, we will. I swear. We'll get it.

You have to go for it.

Tag! Let's go, in the ring.

You got it, Kirsten.

One...

Two! Whoo!

Tag me! Tag!

Yeah!

Come on, get out!

Come on! In the ring!

No, no, no!

Madison!

Unfortunately, we're at that moment again.

Thank you for your time.

Appreciate it. Thanks, Coach.

For the rest of you, as a reward for making it this far...

I'm gonna take you to a quiet, romantic, little spot I like to call WrestleMania.

What?

Yes!

Keep your focus.

There's still a lot of stuff to do ahead of us.

But we're gonna get to go out and have some fun, okay?

Go home and get some rest, guys. Thank you.

All good?

All right? All right, love?

My big boy. Yeah. You all right?

Oh, my God. That's Divas Champion.

That's Divas Champion. Oh, my God!

No.

Hamburgers. It's free food!

You know I'm an emotional eater.

You're enabling me now.

This is gonna make me gain weight.

You can burn it off in the ring. That's great.

I can't burn it off. Hi, guys.

Eat as much as you want.

Hi. Hey.

I'm a massive fan.

Cool. Thanks. Thanks.

Just gonna...

It's free, right? Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, it's free.

Yeah.

You wanna leave some for the rest of us there?

Yeah. Come with me.

Have a good match, boys.

Thanks. Thank you.

Bye.

If she can eat it, you can eat it...

Don't eat a hot dog. Here.

No, I don't...

Do you know what's in a hot dog?

Is that The Miz?

Hey, Coach.

Where are you going?

I have no idea. I don't know.

What's happening? Where is she going?

I'm sorry, I thought the hot dogs were free.

Please.

The following is the Divas Championship Invitational.

The first diva to score a pinfall... or submission will be declared the winner...

Hey.

Hey.

How're you doing?

Yeah. Good. You?

Did you bring it?

Yeah. Yeah, I brought it.

Paige, when's the last time you spoke to your family?

Couple of weeks ago.

Well, I think we should call 'em.

You wanna call my family?

I would like to call your family.

So what's their number?

Am I in trouble?

The Black Widow is in.

Come on!

And she taps out!

Here's your winner, AJ Lee!

Sit. Stay there.

AJ Lee continues her historic reign as Divas Champion.

The longest of all time.

Which prick is calling me during WrestleMania?

It's, uh... It's Dwayne Johnson.

Yeah, and I'm Vin Diesel, mate.

Well, let's hope not.

No, it is, Mr. Knight, it's Dwayne Johnson. How are you?

Prove it.

Uh, okay.

If you smell... what The Rock... is cooking.

Yeah? Bullshit.

I'm sorry.

What?

Dad! It's actually him.

You what? Yeah, it's actually him.

Hold the line one second.

It's Saraya and The Rock. Yeah, right.

I got you on speakerphone, sir.

Hey, yeah. It's Dwayne Johnson.

I'm here with your daughter now, and, uh, I first met her in London.

And I've been keeping tabs on her... and I just heard some news that I wanted to share with her... and I thought you guys should hear it too at the same time.

Right. What news?

Paige's time with the NXT is over.

Oh.

Oh. Okay.

Because tomorrow night... she'll make her debut live on RAW and she will be fighting AJ Lee for the Divas title.

Wait, what?

Dick me dead, bury me pregnant.

There it is again.

You don't know what this means to us, Mr. Rock.

Actually, uh...

I know exactly what it means to you, ma'am.

I myself have come from a wrestling family, too... and I wanted to share this news with you guys just so you could enjoy it... and also just so Paige can prepare herself mentally to go out there tomorrow night... and win over the crowd.

Because if you don't do that... then they're gonna find somebody else who will.

And then this whole opportunity will be gone by next week.

She's not gonna let you down, Mr. Rock.

I'll promise ya. She's gonna smash it.

She'll kill it. Proud of you, Ray.

I love you, princess. We're all with you, darling.

You're amazing, baby.

I love you, Rock.

Rock?

I... I love you, too.

It's The Rock! Huh?

Good luck tomorrow, Paige.

Yeah. Um, thanks for picking me.

Nah, I didn't pick you, I just work here.

You know him?

Yeah. Yeah, I know that guy.

We once had a crazy match where he threw himself... off the top of a 30-foot steel cage... just to make me look good.

I'll see you later, Sex Tape.

Why'd you call him "Sex Tape"?

Oh, because he makes people famous.

Good luck tomorrow.


Who'd a thought it, eh?

Our little sister's gone from here... to WWE.

You would've too, Roy, if they'd given you the chance.

No.

No, she has something I never had.

What's that?

You.


Ez!

Get in the van, mate.

Come on, mate. You're late for training.

Piss off, dickhead!

I would do, sweetheart, but he's already paid for the lessons.

And by Christ, he needs 'em.

Ez.

Please.

Ez.

Ez!

All right? Yeah.

He looks lovely.

Smash it!

Out of the way! I got a hammer on a pole!

Come on! Oh, watch it!

Zak's back! Get in the van! Come on!

Leave that there!

Christ! Please don't tell me you're deaf as well, now!

Strong into the ropes. Strong.

That's it!

All right. Find the ropes.

Ez, let him know you're there.

All right, don't be scared.

Stand tall, mate.

Nice one! Well done!

Born to raise hell We know how to do it And we do it real well Born to raise hell Born to raise hell Go back to zero, take a pill and get well Born to raise hell Born to raise hell Be a good soldier and die where you fell Oh... Stop


John Cena!

And what an incredible scene tonight!

15,000 WWE fans! Sold out!

Paige, you're up!

Uh...

Hang on a minute! This is it! Let's go!

Yeah, I know. I said just hang on a second.

Hold on for what?

This is live TV!


Well, you got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.

Zak, I can't do this.

What're you talking about?

I'm gonna choke, I'm gonna screw up.

I'm gonna botch a move. I...

I won't go over with the crowd.

Paige!

Come on! Let's go!

Zak, I have no idea who I'm supposed to be out there.

Do what The Rock said. Be the first you.

Oh, bollocks to The Rock!

That's not advice, Zak, that's a tweet!

He's not some weirdo freak from Norwich, is he?

No, but that is who you are.

Who else you gonna be?

Come on. If you can't do this, no one can.

You're a Knight.

Wrestling's in your blood.

Like hepatitis?

A, B, and C.

Riddled.

And you got something else.

Something that I don't have.

Yeah? Like what?

That extra something.

Yeah, you don't know that.

I've always known that.

Why do you think I've been acting like such a prick?

And listen to me, right?

No matter what happens when you go out there... it will never be as bad as that time in King's Lynn... when I went on wearing Dad's shorts.

When your penis fell out!

When my penis fell out.

Everyone was laughing at it.

Everyone wasn't laughing at it.

People were laughing at the situation.

Why did you even stay in the ring?

Because I'm a bloody professional.

And so are you, right?

That's what I'm saying.

So, have you got your own shorts on tonight?

Yes. My penis won't fall out.

Then get out there.

All right?

Thank you.

It's what I'm here for.

Now, go and win over that crowd.

I wanna hear 'em chanting your name.

Okay.

Paige!

Come on, we're gonna be late. Where were you? Jesus.

The Divas Champion, AJ Lee!

Well, guys, today marks day number 295... in the historic Divas Championship reign of AJ!

Last night, she outlasted 13 other Divas... to retain the title at WrestleMania.

And, guys, I still don't know how she did it.

She keeps finding ways to win.

She on yet?

For 295 days...

I have been your Divas Champion!

The longest reigning Divas Champion... of all time!

Well, this right here is a very interesting development.

But that young lady...

...is Paige.

She's from Norwitch, England. Norwich!

And she comes to us from NXT.

Certainly different.

And this is a huge opportunity for Paige to impress this crowd here tonight.

AJ doesn't look too happy to see Paige.

A capacity crowd in New Orleans... millions watching around the world... under the bright lights of Monday Night RAW.

I'm sorry, is it Halloween already?

Who the hell are you?

Well, you can understand Paige being...

She's frozen.

...a bit hesitant here. Come on, darling.

But these WWE fans will turn on her quick.

Do something!

Tell you what.

Why don't I do to you what I did to every single Diva last night?

I think we should have a match right now.

And as a special post- WrestleMania treat...

I will put my title on the line.

Paige isn't ready. I mean...

Paige came from a wrestling family in England... but she... Oh!

She wasn't ready for a match tonight.

Come on, Ray. Get up.

Paige needs to do something here... or she's gonna let this opportunity slip through her fingers.

This is my house, freak!

Yes! Come on!

Yes!

Yeah!

Suck on that, bitch!

Mmm-hmm.

Sorry.

And this could be Paige's moment!

She's heading up to the top rope right there!

AJ Lee has turned this match around!

This doesn't end well.

Top rope, AJ on the top rope.

AJ takin' out Paige!

Oh, man. Wow!

I don't think Paige knows where she's at.

And now, the Divas Champion crawling toward Paige, hooks the leg!

One! Two! And it's over!

Oh, a kick-out!

Last moment kick-out by Paige!

Hair!

And this has just angered AJ!

AJ with a kick to the midsection.

It's the Black Widow!

The submission move... that's taken out so many Divas!

Paige is trying to hang on here... but she's gotta tap out!

She's gonna get seriously hurt if she doesn't tap here!

Paige has gotta tap out!

One! Two! Three!

Now, the winner of this match... and new Divas Champion...

Paige!

This is unbelievable, guys! You gotta watch... what happens here at the end of this thing!

Watch Paige with a Paige Turner!

That's the Zak Attack! She stole your move!

She didn't steal it, I gave it to her!

I am a freak!

From Norwich, England!

And I have dreamt of this... since I was 13 years old!

And it's not just mine, it belongs to my family!

It belongs to anyone who ever felt like they are the freak from Norwich... the oddballs, the outsiders... the ones that don't belong!

My name is Paige.

And this is my house now!

Yes! That's right! That's right!

Paige! Paige! Paige!

Paige! Paige! Paige!

Paige! Paige! Paige!

Paige! Paige! Paige!

Look, the big man's crying! Sod off!

Look at him.

I'm not crying, I'm allergic to the dog.

Oh, my God! Go, Paige!

Oh, my God! That was incredible.

Oh, my God! That was amazing!

You were amazing. You did it! You were incredible!

Yeah!

What an incredible moment!

She wasn't even ready to be in the WWE... and Paige is gonna leave here tonight... the new Divas Champion!


That youth title should be around my waist, or trophy, 'cause I'm gonna kick your ass!

And that's the bottom line, 'cause Zodiac don't care.

My first match, I was knocked out in about five minutes, if that.

I started growing up watching it, and I was just like, "Ugh! It's really boring!"

Zak would get in the ring and throw me about and stuff like that.

So, I always knew, like, a couple of moves and stuff.

Dad was short on a show one day when I was 13 years old.

So, yeah, I had to fill in for that one slot, and I've been hooked ever since.

I'd done eight years in prison before I was 25.

Mainly violence. Mainly violence.

She was a young lady at the time, was contemplating suicide... was going nowhere in life.

Some people find religion.

Well, me and Julie found wrestling.

That, to me, is proper salvation.

What? What?

We are a family of wrestlers. We make no apologies for that.

This is what we do, this is what we love.

This is our passion.

This is gonna be our legacy when I pop me clogs.

This is what it's all about.

I love you. I love you.

The rowdy man that's crying his eyes out.

Paige Turner, she did it!

Paige did it!