Frankie and Johnny (1966) Script

Boss, they just stopped a customer from betting a roll of these. Why?

Why? Because that's Confederate money.

Money's money, ain't it?

Blackie, I don't know what I'd do without you.

-You'd manage. -Thanks.

Escort the gentleman gently to the deck and kick him down the gangplank.

No more bets.

You seen Johnny? It's nearly showtime.

Yeah, he made his daily contribution. He went that way.

-The rabbit's foot didn't help? -Help?

He lost that, too.

Okay, new shooter. Come on out.

Johnny?

Twelve straight times he drew cards to 12, on account of today is the 12th.

He didn't even win once?

With me dealing?

-Piano player. -Yes, Mr. Braden.

Try to play the notes the way they're written.

I'll use both hands.

And if Johnny is late again, I hope he can dance with a broken leg.

That's what I like about you, boss. Always ready with a pat on the back.

Place your bets.

-You seen Johnny? -Look under the nearest pair of dice.

-Don't you even say hello to your wife? -Hello, wife.

Peg, how can I get Johnny to give up gambling?

Easy. A bullet in the head, poison in his coffee, a fatal knife wound.

Nothing to it.

Where have you been? I lost your trail at the blackjack table.

Ran into a guy who told me about a gypsy fortuneteller.

She's got a hot cup of tea leaves.

I'm a coffee man myself.

What happened with your astrologer? Couldn't read the stars on a cloudy night?

-You got to have faith, Cully. -And money.

-How much did you lose tonight? -How much did I have?

That's what you lost last night. You're holding your own.

Seven years bad luck.

-It was already cracked. -Okay, only five.

Be over before you know it.

Say, five. That's a hunch. Loan me $5.

I can't afford you much longer.

-Put the $5 on number 5. -I'll lose my job if I'm late.

I'll lose my confidence if I pass up a hunch bet.

Hello, Johnny.

Hello, Johnny.

Say goodbye, Johnny.

They're wearing mittens out there tonight.

-They just don't appreciate talent. -No.

-On stage for the Petunia number. -Always brings me luck, you know.

You need a new horseshoe.

I've got a gal Oh, what a pal The apple of my eye We're something rare A peach of a pair But her dad won't let us meet and I could die

I love Petunia The gardener's daughter Oh, how that gal can kiss My eyes are blue as bluebells Each cheek a rose to see How I dance when she plants her two lips on me He's as daffy as a daffodil He loves to kiss me all the time Tonight I'll steal into her garden And make Petunia's two lips mine


She makes other girls look just like weeds I wanna be his clinging vine Tonight I'll steal into her garden And make Petunia's two lips My ever-loving two lips

Make Petunia's two lips mine


-What were those signals? -What signals?

Between you and Cully. I'm not blind.

Those signals. Nothing. He just made a little bet for me.

Now you've got helpers. Can't you lose fast enough alone?

-Where're you going? -To have my head examined.

-There must be a hole in it. -You can't help it if you're in love.

You're born losers, both of you!

-What's the matter with her? -She's crazy about the wrong guy. Me.

I am a loser.

But if I had $20, I could be a winner.

I hate myself for asking, but how?

This gypsy fortuneteller parked across the river, I hear everyone who takes her advice is getting rich.

-So how come she lives in a wagon? -The wagon is loaded with gold.

You got $20?

Lucky for you, it just so happens...

You are the lowest person that ever lived.

-Peg, my sweetheart, you've missed me. -You're not what I've missed.

-No? -No!

I've missed the $50 I hid in my winter lingerie.

You know, I never could keep out of your...

You didn't have to stab me.

I should've listened to my sainted mother. She said you were just like my father.

I could never drink that much.

Don't you dare say one word about my drunken old man.

-Where's the money? -I lost it, Peg, all of it. Honest.

-And he loaned me the last $5. -Now you stay out of this.

Just to convince me, you take off your shoes.

-My shoes? -Off!

Love and trust. That's what makes a marriage great.

See? I could never lie to you.

Well, there's a $10 lie.

-Now, how did that get in there? -I wonder.

Goodbye, gypsy.

Hello, Zolita.

Business is awful.

Why don't you have a talk with your crystal ball?

Maybe these are two live ones.

What shall I promise them?

A long journey or sudden wealth?

As long as it costs you nothing, give them both.

Gentlemen, you have come to the right place.

The one, the only, the incomparable Zolita.

The kid's got problems.

Keeps breaking mirrors and walking under black cats.

Yes, my son, you look troubled. Deeply troubled.

No, it's worse than that. I can't break my losing streak.

You are a gambling man.

Every cent I make. I could sure use some motherly advice.

Mother Zolita can only interpret, my son.

Perhaps the tea leaves will forecast failure, perhaps success.

I am merely a princess with a rare gift handed down from generation to generation.

-Didn't I tell you she was great? -She hasn't said anything yet.

The leaves are ready to speak.

No lemon?

The tea leaves have spoken.

If you do not mind, I work alone.

What do they spell, Mother?

How lucky you are.

The wheel of fortune has stopped at your number.

-A wheel? That's roulette. -And I see a dice table, too.

No blackjack? This boy plays all games.

And a new woman is coming into your life.

Beautiful young redhead.

It can't be a redhead, Princess. My girl's a blonde.

Take another look.

Now I see a blonde.

But she has been bad luck for you.

The tea leaves say you will have good luck with the redhead.

I know better. I married one. Take the advice of a 20-year loser.

-No redheads. -He must not defy the tea leaves.

How're you gonna explain her to Frankie?

Why explain? We'll just use her to make a bundle.

You're going to pass off a beautiful redhead as a good-luck piece?

Good luck.

-If I may be so crude... -Sure.

If you please, the princess never soils her royal hands with money.

$10?

When the tea leaves promise a beautiful redhead, it is $20.

A lot of money for a cup of tea.

That's a gypsy for you.

Takes all your dough, so you can't take her advice.

Minor problems like that I cannot solve.

Maybe you can get another advance from Braden.

Not a chance. I'm already in for five weeks' salary.

That you lost right back into his pocket. Braden's got a nice little thing going there.

Don't worry.

Did you ever know a gambler who couldn't promote some betting money?

-You also need chesay. -Chesay? Who's that?

Chesay is gypsy good luck. Lazlo!

Drink a cup of gypsy luck Just tip it up And then you just say chesay Swallow once then swallow twice Goes down so nice Just say chesay, hey!

What's in the drink, chase the devil away?

Lightning, I think, so just say chesay Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way Trouble is my middle name Though it's such a crying shame Try and try, there's nothing I can do But I'm feeling kinda strange Feel like things are gonna change Time my lucky star was shining through Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way Drink a cup of gypsy luck Just tip it up And then you just say chesay Swallow once then swallow twice Goes down so nice Just say chesay, hey!

What's in the drink, chase the devil away?

Magic, I think, so just say chesay Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way Chesay, chesay Brings you good luck night and day Chesay, chesay That's the gypsy way, chesay

Have you seen Cully? He's been missing for an hour.

-Tried the Lost and Found Department? -No, I'm afraid they'll find him.

I always know where to find Johnny. In the casino, losing his shirt.

With the way the other girls look at him, you're lucky he isn't playing around.

You know what I'd do if he ever did me wrong?

-Shoot yourself? -No, him.

One last request before I cross the great footlights up yonder.

Like what?

Like, would you loan me $25 so I can pay Cully what I owe him?

Cully loaned you $25? Where did he get it?

Between my nightgown and my petticoat.

Do you know how much you owe me already?

Who's counting?

You sure you don't want this money to gamble?

Word of honor, cross my heart, and may you never kiss me again.

You sound sincere.

What would you do, Peg?

What any woman with an ounce of pride or self-respect would do.

Give him the money.

Greatest little bank in America.

Two greatest little banks in America.

What a shame you don't have an account there.

$5, $10...

$15, $20, $25. Makes us even, right?

I didn't think you'd get a dime from Frankie.

-How much you got left to play with? -I'm broke.

But I got a rich friend who will loan me...

$5, $10, $15, $20, $25.

-You better count it to be sure it's all there. -What for? I trust you.

Now all we need is a beautiful redhead.

Nellie!

Nellie Bly!

Hello, Blackie.

You look great. How did New York treat you?

They didn't believe my billing, "The Singing Queen of the Riverboats."

-How's the action? -The boss never had it rolling in so fast.

Money isn't everything, but it never made a man look less attractive.

-Put those in my old room, will you, Mac? -Does Mr. Braden know you're back?

No, I want to surprise him. Is he in his office?

You don't want to surprise him now.

Why don't you go in and win a few bucks until he spruces up for you?

Who is she?

That's not nice. Has Mr. Braden ever cheated on you?

-Well, has he? -Still protecting him, aren't you?

Why not? Who bailed me out and got me a job?

And who made a gentleman out of me? And who...

Okay. Go ring the fire bell.

Tell Braden I'll meet him in the casino after I pretty up for him.

Are you really going to make me a star, Mr. Braden?

It's not me that'll do it, Mitzi. It's your talent.

I do have talent, don't I?

You're loaded with it.

Boss, you got one girl too many.

Nellie Bly just came aboard.

When you've got a message like that, whisper.

Nellie's in the casino waiting for you. She doesn't know about you and Mitzi.

It's happened to me again?

I don't get my name in lights?

You just don't have the talent, Mitzi.

But a minute ago, you said...

The only woman who ever gave me bubbles, like that champagne, just came back.

And she's funny. She thinks three is a crowd.

Why, you...

Hi, Mitzi.

-The boss in a bad mood again? -Bad?

He never felt better. His favorite girl came back.

I thought you were.

I just found out I've been understudying the part.

In my next life, I hope I'm not a girl.

I could never go through that again.

-Twenty-six, black. Even. -Let's try another table.

All blondes. I can't go against Zolita.

You're too darn particular.

The gypsy said a redhead, and a redhead it's gotta be.

Then we're wasting our time here. Seven blondes. Not one redhead.

Seven. That's a hunch bet if ever I heard one.

-One stack, please. -I'll tell the gypsy on you.

-Place your bets. -On seven.

-No, lady. That's the kiss of death. -I'm sorry.

Off seven.

Hold it, Johnny. Maybe that's your lucky redhead.

-Are you? -The action's over there.

No more bets.

Seven. A winner. Red.

Thirty-five times twenty.

You would've won $700!

If she can do it once, she can do it again. Are you a real redhead?

I'm a real everything.

-What's your lucky number? -One.

-One at a time. -One it is.

Would you mind giving them your magic touch?

Just for luck.

You better get the bottom one, too.

Place your bets.

By this time tomorrow, this ship should be the S.S. Johnny.

-What's your name, lucky? -Nellie Bly.

-Welcome aboard. -That's it, Bly!

I need a name to rhyme with "eye" for a new song I'm writing.

Now I got it. Nellie Bly.

-You're gonna be made famous in a song. -I've tried every other way.

I don't even have to look. I know it's going to be number one.

One, red!

-Maybe that gypsy knew something. -Maybe? My future just got here.

$100.

-$200. -Place your bets.

$300.

-This is the big break I've been... -$400.

-Where'd she go? It was going good. -What about these chips?

Keep counting. I'll be right back.

Nellie, it's been a long year without you. You never looked better.

You have. Who's been keeping you up nights?

Who can remember names?

-What kind of a kiss is that? -We're not starting where we left off.

I like a girl who remembers the good things in life.

I thought you came back because you missed me.

I came back because I wasn't good enough for Broadway.

I'm big in the small time and small in the big time.

You'll always be my star attraction.

What about the girl last week?

And the girl before her, and the one before...

-A man gets lonely. -Lonely enough to get married?

You're not going to bring up marriage again?

-My mother recommends it highly. -Your mother doesn't know me.

What would you do if I got big eyes for someone else?

-Nothing. -Nothing?

I might arrange to have his neck broken, but outside of that, nothing. Come here.

Boss. One of the customers wants to raise the limit.

-How's he doing? -Big loser.

Losers we always accommodate.

Don't shuffle the cards. I'll be right back.

-You can't do that to me. -Hello again.

-Do what? -Disappear.

You may not believe this, but our meeting tonight was no accident.

-The gypsy sent you. -Gypsy?

Who believes in them?

I do.

This fortuneteller told me a gorgeous redhead would come into my life.

That'd be the luckiest thing to happen to me.

I'm a gorgeous rabbit's foot, is that it?

-You don't know how badly I need you. -Tell me more.

Hello, boss.

-I finally found my good-luck charm. -Did you, now?

Sure. With Nellie beside me, I'll break every casino here before I'm through.

You're through now. Didn't you tell him who you are?

I don't even know who he is.

Well, allow me. Johnny, my number one girl, Nellie Bly.

How about that? She means a lot to both of us.

-She's private stock, all 120 pounds of her. -118.

Weren't you due on stage five minutes ago?

Ten.

Forget it, Nellie. He's spoken for.

Yes, but I'm not.

To show you how worried I am, let's go hear lover boy sing.

Wise men have known Women can't live alone So a woman should understand That what every woman lives for What every woman lives for Is to give her love to a man

He may not be the kind you find in picture books A real-life hero with dashing handsome looks He may not be the guy that you've been dreaming of But that won't stop you from giving him your love

So, dear, can't you see That it was meant to be It's part Part of our destiny

'Cause what every woman lives for What every woman lives for Is to give her love to a man And I hope that man is me

Johnny likes her.

Maybe it'll be one big, happy triangle, and I'll come out on the right side.

What is this? You wouldn't talk to me last night or today.

What did I do?

Who smiled at Nellie Bly last night, like she was the only girl in the world?

-Who is she, anyway? -You really want to know?

-I really want to know. -Where do you think I got this?

-You robbed a bank. -$700, and I owe it all to her.

You owe it all to me.

I got nothing but admiration for a man who pays his debts.

Now we're even, give or take a few dollars.

When I win, I lose.

Who hates you up there?

If you see her again, and my advice is don't, thank Nellie Bly for me.

Somebody page me?

Anybody I haven't met yet, I'm Nellie Bly.

I'm Mitzi, last week's kisses.

Well, don't go away. You might get him back on the rebound.

Rebound?

I'm the original rubber ball.

-Looks like Mitzi's got her hands full. -Looks like you have.

-Hello, everybody. -Hello.

I heard you wrote a new number I'll be in.

-That's the one I told you about. -Frankie, this is Nellie.

-Shake hands and come out fighting. -I just might do that.

Your claws are showing.

And they scratch.

I hear you're Braden's girl, off and on.

-I'm nobody's girl. -Let's keep it that way.

Could we stop wasting time and rehearse?

-You written lots of hits? -A trunk full. Wait till Joe hears this one.

Joe, the deckhand?

Joe Wilbur, the music publisher from New York.

He'll be out here next week.

It's money in the bank if he likes it. Money you can keep.

-For how long? -We own half the song.

On account of the title, Frankie and Johnny.

Well, at least the billing is right.

Let's hear it, Stephen Foster.

Frankie and Johnny were lovers Oh, lordy, how they could love Just play it.

Frankie and Johnny were lovers Time they got married.

Oh, lordy, how they could love Blabbermouth.

Swore to be true to each other

This story has no moral

This story has no end

This story only goes to show That there ain't no good in men They'll do you wrong Yes, they'll do you wrong

Frankie and me, we are lovers Oh, lordy, how we can love Swore to be true to each other Just as true as stars above Frankie, I'm your man I'll never do you wrong


I knew that I was a winner When a new gal caught my eye But I couldn't two-time Frankie For that chick named Nellie Bly I'm Frankie's man I wouldn't do her wrong

Baby, leave me here to gamble I'll be home before dawn Don't wait up for me, honey And don't you worry while I'm gone Johnny, you're my man Now, don't you do me wrong

Johnny, he wasn't too lucky He was a loser that night So he tried to change his luck With the gal who wasn't right He's Frankie's man But he's doing her wrong


Frankie, I don't wanna make you no trouble Honey, I don't wanna tell you no lie But I saw your sweetman Johnny He was messing around with that Nellie Bly Well, if he's your man Then he's doing you wrong

Frankie went back to find Johnny She wasn't looking for fun In her sweet, dainty little hand She was toting a .44 gun To shoot her man

'Cause he was doing her wrong

Frankie looked into the barroom Right there in front of her eye There was her sweetman Johnny Making love to that Nellie Bly He was her man She caught him doing her wrong Johnny!

Frankie, I beg you, don't shoot me They'll put you away in a cell They'll put you where the cold wind blows From the hottest corner of hell Johnny, you're my man

But you're doing me wrong


Mr. Wilbur...

He was her man But he done her wrong

Did I write a hit, Mr. Wilbur?

I'll be honest with you. You know what's good about this song?

-The words? -No.

-The music? -No. Them.

You ought to be on Broadway.

-You didn't like the song? -It's fine for their act.

I might even publish it. But a hit?

-I know one when I hear it. -Well, you heard one tonight.

You're just saying you didn't because you don't want to give us an advance.

-Shut up, sweetheart. -No advance, no song.

Back in the trunk it goes.

Now look, nobody pushes Joe Wilbur around. Forget it!

-How big an advance? -Talk to my business manager.

Well, now, Mr. Wilbur, -$300, and the song is yours. -$100.

Well, let's just split the difference, shall we? $250.

Well, let's not quibble about it. $200 it is.

Mr. Wilbur, were you serious about Frankie and me?

I've seen better, but not very often.

-Isn't Johnny great? -Isn't she wonderful?

All you need is some new costumes, arrangements, and special material.

Here's my card.

Look me up when you get to New York. Goodbye.

Thank you, Mr. Wilbur.

We're on our way!

Goodbye, riverboat! Hello, Broadway!

We never got discouraged We never had a doubt

'Cause sooner or later Talent must win out Look out, Broadway, we're coming fast Now we're gonna see our names in lights at last No more hot dogs at Sloppy Joe's We're gonna dine on steak and wine at Delmonico's Rich or poor it's great to have dough That's one thing we know Lots of fun, lots of laughs Signing checks and contracts and autographs We're up for N-E-W Y-O-R-K Look out, look out Broadway I wanna see all the hustle and bustle Maybe I can get a date with Lillian Russell I wanna go out with Diamond Jim Yeah, if he gives you a diamond what will you give to him?

Blow the trumpets and beat on the drums Big town here we come No more cheap hotels and one-night stands We'll knock Tin Pan Alley flat on its pan They'll see that we've got class with a capital "K"

Look out, look out, Broadway Look out Well, all we need is enough money to get to New York.

A lot more than $200.

-Don't look at me. -Okay, I'll win it in the casino.

How can I lose with a beautiful redhead beside me?

-If you're thinking of Nellie... -Nellie who?

Just remember this, if she's in, I'm out. Good night.

You would have hated New York, anyway.

We'll get there.

Peg, our half.

Frankie's half of our half.

Where's my half of our half?

Guess.

What am I, a mammary expert?

Got a brand-new rabbit's foot, a horseshoe from a derby winner, the lucky cricket Frankie gave me.

Now all you need is a new lucky redhead, and I know the perfect spot to find one.

Blonde.

Another blonde.

Brunette.

Blonde.

Heaven only knows.

Brunette.

Your guess is as good as mine.

It looks like somebody cornered the market on redheads.

Let's give it up for tonight.

With this money burning a hole in my pocket? No.

We could trap a blonde and dye her red.

I'm waiting here for the real thing.

Jackpot.

Watch the old master go to work.

-Hello, Eloise. -Hello, Charlie.

Wait a minute. You're not Charlie.

-You're Jack. -That's right, Eloise.

Eloise? I thought you said Abigail.

Pardon me, old master. Are you alone, Abigail?

Practically. Boyfriend passed out about an hour ago.

Can't hold his liquor.

And he's letting a lovely lady like you drift around by her little old lonesome?

Who's lonesome? I got you two.

She is no gentleman.

-Here we go. -Place your bets.

Here we go.

-What number do you like? -Thirteen.

Thirteen?

That's my lucky number, on account of I got 13 letters in my name.

A-B-I-G-A-I-L.

Thirteen.

Lady, you could stand a few lessons in arithmetic.

Does it have to be 13?

If you don't bet 13, I'll cry.

No more bets.

Thirteen, black!

You did it!

-What number do you like now? -Thirteen. I like thirteen.

-Again? -Thirteen. Bet it all.

Let it ride on 13.

Thirteen!

How about that?

-That gypsy knew something. -Didn't I tell you?

Let it ride!

-Bet it all. -All of it?

You can't hit 13 three times in a row.

Don't tell me you're some kind of a cheapskate.

The lady said let it ride, okay?

The limit's off.

-All of it goes on 13. -No!

On 31.

-Don't you mean 13? -I don't like 13 anymore.

I am fickle.

All right, all of it on 31.

He could use a little help.

The winner, 13!

Abigail, don't just lie there. Say something.

Who moved the table?

Frankie, did I wake you?

It's pretty sad music.

Sad? It's a dirge. I almost won $5,000.

$5,000?

Why didn't you quit when you were ahead?

Ask me an easier question.

All right, I will.

Why do I have to love a riverboat singer whose life is one great big roulette wheel?

Don't you ever win?

That's two questions, but I can only answer the second.

I wave no magic wand I own no lucky charms How then can I explain An angel in my arms?

Must be beginner's luck What else can it be?

When someone wonderful as you loves me?

I wave no magic wand I own no lucky charms How then can I explain An angel in my arms?

Must be beginner's luck What else can it be?

When someone wonderful as you loves me?


Aren't you going to rehearse? We're only an hour from New Orleans.

And less than 24 hours from being rich.

I'm dead broke.

Peg went through my pants last night, with me in them.

-I don't need any money from you. -You don't?

No. I talked Braden into another advance.

-If I can talk Nellie into meeting... -Nellie?

She's the right redhead, Cully. I can win with her.

You can get your head broken.

Frankie and I belong in the big time. You heard the man from Broadway.

I also heard Frankie tell you to keep away from Nellie.

Just one hot spin of the wheel is all I need, with Nellie beside me.

I'll come visit you in the hospital.

The song demands Down by the riverside Down by the riverside We'll hear them play and keep that beat Down by the riverside Down by the riverside Down by the riverside Let's get together what a treat Down by the riverside Down by the riverside Strike up the band, start the parade Don't let that grand old rhythm fade Just play that drum, play that number When the saints come marching in Shake tambourines, play that cornet Crank up that horn you won't forget Your heart will hum to that number When the saints come marching in The cymbals clang, just pound that beat Sounds like a hundred marching feet It's fun to join in that number When the saints come marching in See banners wave, oh, hear that ring We all feel prouder than a king

'Cause everyone, everyone loves that number When the saints come marching in

I don't know about you, but I killed them.

-New Orleans loves us. -What's not to love?

Meet you back at the colonial house.

Peg and I must pick out our costumes for the Mardi Gras ball.

-What are you going as? -Lady Godiva. What else?

Lady Godiva?

-That sure ain't fair to New Orleans. -Let's hope she gets a long wig.


You sure there'll be nobody at the ball dressed like me?

Madam, in my shop we specialize in one-of-a-kind costumes.

Let's face it, you're adorable.

How can any man resist you?

My problem is just the other way around.

Allow me, my dear.

Thank you.

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep.

I don't blame them for running away.

How do I look?

Honey, if I were Louis XV, I'd make you queen.

I'll get our clothes.

Are you sure I'll be the only Madame Pompadour at the ball?

My dear young lady, this is a one-of-a-kind costume that I personally imported from Paris.

Little Bo Peep is ready for action.

Okay?

Charming.

What Madame Pompadour would've given to look like you.

Her head. Or was that Marie Antoinette?

Is this a good night to go out with the wrong man so that the right man will ask me to marry him?

For that any night is the right night, especially on Mardi Gras night.

Harry, give me a hand.

We still have 10 more Madame Pompadours to get rid of.


Guess who?

-Nellie? I thought you changed your mind. -Nellie? Why, Johnny, you...

Frankie, I knew it was you all the time. I was just trying to make you jealous.

Convinced?

That was a guilty kiss if I ever had one, but let's go.

Go where?

You know Braden's holding open house in Suite 309.

-Come on. -I promised to wait here for Cully.

Cully and who else?

Just Cully. I swear.

The left hand?

-All right. I'll meet you there. Suite 309. -Frankie.

Remember how to do that after we get married.

Well, it fooled her.

-Watch it, I'm not getting any younger. -You find Nellie yet?

Braden set her up in Room 306. She said to meet her there.

Can't I talk you out of this, Johnny?

Not a chance. Go up in 309 and keep Frankie busy.

I promised to do a number with the band.

Last year's model.

Everybody listen to me Put a smile on your face There's no reason to be gloomy This world's a wonderful place So when I say again happy Shout it out Yeah, get happy now Shout it out Well, now, there is no doubt you've got a lot to shout about Give a yell life is swell Shout it out While there's good food you can taste While there's music life's no waste While there's great things happening There's no end to the joy life can bring I said come on get happy Shout it out Yeah, get happy now Shout it out Well now there is no doubt you've a lot to shout about Give a yell life is swell Shout it out As long as there's someone you can love As long as bright stars shine above You've got no reason to be blue Think what it means when your dreams all come true I said come on get happy Shout it out Yeah, get happy now Shout it out Well, now, there is no doubt you've a lot to shout about Give a yell life is swell Shout it out I said now there is no doubt you've a lot to shout about Give a yell life is swell Shout it out There is no doubt you've a lot to shout about Give a yell life is swell Shout it out

Respect for Father Time.

Frankie, where are you going?

Frankie? It's me, Mitzi.

Nobody loves me.

I love you.

Did you know you were dressed just like Frankie?

That's why I'm leaving.

I caught Braden kissing me when he thought he was kissing Frankie.

I hate Nellie, but I'm going to tell her what's going on.

Why tell her?

I want her to be as miserable as I am.

Happy...

Whatever it is we're celebrating.

-That calls for a kiss. -Go away, old man.

Old man? It's me.

Go away, old man.

Happy...

How about a kiss for the boss? How about remembering I'm Johnny's girl?

Johnny?

Now, where do you suppose he is?

Where do you suppose Nellie is?

Hello, everyone. It's me, Cully.

Did you know that you and Mitzi are wearing...

I thought you were meeting Johnny. Where is he?

Singing with the band.

I never heard him sound better. His vibrato...

His vibrato had better not be in Nellie's room.

-Where is it? -Right down the hall. 306.

I'll let you know if we're both wrong.

Hold it, pedal pusher.

Where is Johnny, really?

Not with Nellie, if that's what you're thinking.

-That's what he's thinking. -Shut up, Blackie.

I didn't open my mouth.

Would Nellie two-time you? Would Johnny? They'd be crazy.

Fill it up, Blackie.

Come in, Johnny. Be right with you.

Get up!

-Who are you? -You know darn well who I am.

You'll never believe it, but you and me and Nellie are triplets.

Mitzi.

What are you doing here?

First you got to tell me where I am.

As one Madame Pompadour to the other...

Why did you say, "Come in, Johnny," when I knocked at the door?

Because I was expecting him. Any objection?

If I start to pull your hair out, I'm not going to stop at your wig.

Johnny thinks I'm his lady luck.

He just wants me to go to the casino with him.

What else does he have in mind?

That depends on how much he wins, or how much I want to lose.

Attention! I want attention, please.

Wouldn't it be funny if Johnny made love to me when he thought he was making love to Nellie, only it turned out to be you?

-She's not as dumb as she looks. -$5 will get you $10.

No, wait a minute. She has a great idea. Put on your mask.

What do you have in mind?

A little masquerade.

But first, what's the real reason you're going out with Johnny?

-To come between us? -Of course not.

To make Braden jealous. Jealous enough to ask me to marry him.

-You really love him! -As much as you love Johnny.

Good. Now, let's hear you say, Johnny, do you suppose I could come between you and Frankie?

Johnny, do you suppose I could come between you and Frankie?

Johnny, do you suppose I could come between you and Frankie?

That's amazing!

-And convincing? -You sound more like me than I do.

Now walk.

You've got to be born with that, but I'll try.

That's good.

Nellie.

-Nellie. -Come in, darling.

-Sorry I'm late. -I'll be with you in a minute.

I have to get a handkerchief.

Tonight's the night. I can feel it.

That roulette wheel's gonna light up.

So will Frankie if she finds out about us.

She'd kill me.

Yes, she would, just like in the song.

Ready or not, here I come.

We'll live it up tonight.

Now we're gonna prove the gypsy was right.

We'll do more than that, won't we?

You're for me, Nellie. All the way.

Nellie, where you going?

Nobody talks to me anymore.

I've been abandoned.

But Johnny isn't with Nellie. I told you.

Where is she? Why didn't she come to my party?

-Don't go bruising your knuckles, boss. -I don't need any nursemaids.

-Who's there? Identify yourself. -Mitzi?

Come in, honey.

What are you doing here? Where's Nellie?

I'm here because I'm here.

Alone, by the world forgot.

I said, where's Nellie?

Her? She went out with Johnny.

I knew I was right.

She's cheating on you. He's cheating on Frankie.

Why don't you cheat on somebody?

I have been taken.

I haven't.

Two can play that little game.

Two, like me and you?

I just love games.

Welcome home.

Watch the wig. It's rented.

-Who was that? -Must have been Frankie.

-What was she doing here? -How should I know? It's not my room.

-You worried about Braden? -You worried about Frankie?

What she doesn't know won't hurt her, will it?

Chips, please. And lucky ones.

You stand right over here, where you were before.

That's it. Frankie's cricket for insurance.

How can I lose? Got my lucky girl with me.

-What number do you like? -Two. Like in Frankie and you.

Why not? It rhymes.

Spin it real pretty.

-A winner. Two, black. -How about that?

I can't miss with you.

Pick another number, and we'll walk out rich.

How about playing your age? Five.

-Five it is. Who wants to grow up? -You're over the limit, sir.

Then raise it.

-The limit's off, sir. -So is your hand.

-My hand? -Off the magnet button.

-Or shall I say it loud and clear? -We run an honest wheel here, mister.

The two of us will see to that.

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets.

Don't be chintzy. Bet it all.

-On the five? -And cover all the corners.

-You really know the game, don't you? -I used to go with a gambler.

I'll surround that five so it can't get away.

Broke again. But just for a minute.

We run an honest game, remember?

Five!

-Winner, five. -Cash me in, will you?

$10,000. I'm a millionaire.

-Didn't I tell you we'd do it? -Yes, you did.

It's me and you, Nellie.

We'll break every casino they let us in. Are you with me?

Why not?

It can't be. No two women kiss alike.

It can't be is right.

"From now on it's you and me, Nellie. Are you with me?"

Maybe she is, but I'm not!

What happened?

He won, and I lost. And it's just the way I want it.

-We're all washed up. -I don't believe you.

No? Have a ball.

I might just be in the mood.

-You sure murdered them tonight. -Yeah. Right through the heart.

Frankie, you came back.

-Nellie! What are you doing here? -Maybe the gypsy was right.

Maybe we were meant for each other.

Place your bet.

Gee, it's great to be number one again.

Hold the thought.

What happened to your plan to make Braden jealous?

It backfired.

He switched to Mitzi, and so I'm switching to you.

-I could do worse. -I doubt it.

You're still a loser, winner.

I owe you seven weeks' salary plus...


It was only champagne, honey.

He's all yours, Mitzi, what's left of him.

Back to 306?

No. Back to Frankie if she'll have me, gypsy or no gypsy.

Alone at last.

Okay. So I got the money for Broadway. So what?

You're sure Frankie walked out on you?

I can still feel her farewell message.

-Sorry to interrupt the party. -Frankie.

Look.

Look. This is our big-time bankroll. We got it made.

-We? -Sure. The gypsy was wrong.

I don't need a redhead. I need you.

You're my lady luck.

You're the family banker.

You know what I think of this money, or any gambling money?

I'll show you.

You wouldn't.

You would.

-Money! -$50 bills!

Lady, you won't believe it, but some nut's throwing his money away.

I believe it.

Giddap. Come on.

-How disgusting. -Money! It came out of the clouds!

Money! Let me in there!

Get out of my way! Out of my way! Let me in there!

Folks.

-The money that flew out of the window... -What money?

The money from the window. I accidentally dropped it.

I didn't see any money. Did you?

I don't guess you did, did you?

Hey, kid. Did you see the money fly out of the window up there?

No, sir. I didn't see any money.

Okay.

Got change of $50, mister?

No. I ain't got change for $1.

I'm really feeling mighty low

No, no, no I got no place that I can go

So I got some blues to sing and So much remembering

Black cats, keep away from me Take my advice Go shinny up a tree I've got hard luck The hardest kind of luck you'll find I ain't lying I've got the bluest kind of blues Driving me right out of my mind

She's gone Said toodle-oo Kissed her goodbye and my-my my money too I've got hard luck The hardest kind of luck you've seen I mean The way I'm running lately My lucky number is 13

Where do I belong?

Everything I do is wrong, all wrong Wrong as can be Who's stacking all the decks Lady Luck has got the hex on me Permanently Shove off Oh, I'm warning you This thing I caught, you know Could be catching too I've got hard luck The hardest kind of luck there can be Yes, siree I guess hard luck always chooses Natural born losers like me


How long have we been drinking?

Since last night.

How's your head, the one I opened the champagne bottle on?

You really launched me.

But you did knock some sense into it.

You found out that it's really me that you go for?

No. It's Nellie.

But Nellie went "Bly-Bly."

How could she run out on me with Johnny Nothing?

Women. Whoever invented them?

Come in.

-Did you find them? -Couldn't find them anywhere, boss.

I turned New Orleans upside down.

How does it look that way?

You want me to throw her out? It's no bother.

Two more drinks, and she'll float out.

Looks like no Johnny, no Frankie, no Nellie.

But you've still got me.

Charming, lovable, talented Mitzi.

The girl with a past and no future.

Maybe you should've done what my father did to my mother.

-What was that? -Marry her.

You should've married Nellie Bly.

Maybe.

But I hated to spoil such a beautiful friendship.

What a world.

Everybody's split up.

You and Nellie, Frankie and Johnny, me and anybody.

If anybody cares, I'm back, I'm sorry.

Nobody cares.

Please don't stop

Loving me You were born Just to be In my arms In my arms Please don't stop

Loving me Your lips were made Just to be Kissed by me Kissed by me

When I'm with you I don't know Day from night Wrong from right You're my world That's all I know I love you so I won't let go Please don't stop

Loving me

Darling you'll Always be Mine alone Mine alone

-Who is it? -Frankie.

I'm sorry Johnny and I missed the show last night, Mr. Braden.

What about tonight?

You still got the show for a couple of months.

-Only because you paid Johnny in advance. -Can I count on two months?

If I don't shoot him for real in the Frankie and Johnny number.

There's a thought.

Come on, Mitzi. We got an act to do.

I love him. He loves Nellie.

There never should've been two sexes.

Never.

Hey, boss.

Wouldn't it be nice if Frankie shot Johnny like she said?

No such luck.

No. I've got enough nerve now.

Before I do it, would you tell me something, Pete?

-Before you do what? -Can a gal get away with shooting her guy?

-What girl? What guy? -You don't follow too good.

Now, look. This is him.

This is her.

Her shoots him for two-timing her with her.

Now, does her get away with it, or does her get it in the neck?

I'd say not guilty, but, of course, I ain't no judge.

Thanks, Pete. You're a real pal.

Do you think a girl should believe a man like Johnny?

No woman should ever believe any man, but we always do.

-Are you ready to forgive him? -Not a chance.

-Frankie, honey. -Yes, Johnny dear?

Remember now, in a situation like this, always do the honest thing, lie.

-It's me, the reformed gambler. -Come in, reformed gambler.

She's playing hard to get.

You missed me.

Kid's got a great arm.

Eddie.

Do you think a girl could get away with murder just because she's beautiful and got nice legs?

Not if I was on the jury.

She'd have to have a nice figure, too.

Like Frankie's. Is that what you mean?

If my wife had a face and legs and a figure like Frankie, I'd give up work and stay home.


Frankie says you've been hitting the bottle over me.

Was she telling the truth?

Nellie, you are just in time.

Just in time for what?

I want to propose a merger.

A merger like two companies, or a merger like two people?

A merger like marriage.

How about it?

Ask me again after the show.

I want to play hard to get for a change.


I forgot Frankie's gun.

All right, folks. Here we go. On-stage.

Frankie, you got to forgive me.

-Why? -Because Johnny loves Frankie.

I'll tell her if I see her.

This story has no moral

This story has no end

This story only goes to show That there ain't no good in men They'll do you wrong Yes, they'll do you wrong

Frankie and me, we are lovers Oh, lordy, how we can love Swore to be true to each other Just as true as stars above Frankie, I'm your man I'll never do you wrong

Johnny, he wasn't too lucky He was a loser that night So he tried to change his luck With a gal who wasn't right He's Frankie's man But he's doing her wrong


Frankie, I don't wanna make you no trouble Honey, I don't wanna tell you no lie But I saw your sweetman Johnny He was messing around with that Nellie Bly Well, if he's your man Then he's doing you wrong

Frankie went back to find Johnny She wasn't looking for fun In her sweet, dainty little hand She was toting a .44 gun To shoot her man

'Cause he was doing her wrong

Blackie, who do you know who can marry us right away?

-You and who? -Nellie and me.

Johnny Nothing was really nothing in her life.

How about that?

Boss, things are working out just like you...

What's wrong?

I was only doing what I thought you wanted me to do.

-You know, I was only... -What are you trying to say?

You know the blank cartridge Frankie shoots Johnny with?

What about it?

It ain't blank. I put in a real bullet.

Frankie is gonna shoot Johnny dead.

You stupid...

Sorry.

What's the matter with him?

She caught him doing her wrong Johnny!

Frankie, I beg you don't shoot me They'll put you away in a cell They'll put you where the cold wind blows From the hottest corner of hell Johnny, you're my man

But you're doing me wrong

Don't shoot!

Close the curtain!

Close the curtain? What for? What's the matter, Mr. Braden?

-What's happened? -That was a real bullet.

Johnny, don't die. Please don't die. I love you.

You can gamble all you want.

-You really mean that? -I want you any way you are.

Baby, you got me.

But that gun was really loaded.

I did feel something.

It looks like a bullet dent. But who put the bullet in the gun?

Let's just say, a misguided friend.

I'm asking again, do you want to get married?

What have I got to lose?

I think I'll give him the air.

Everybody come aboard the showboat tonight We're gonna dance till the morning light We'll have fun the whole night long There'll be jokes and song Forget your troubles, forget your strife You'll have the best time of your life Hey, everyone, let's go, on with the show We're down by the levee Showboat's at the bank Bring money to spend You're welcome, my friend Just walk up the plank Everybody come aboard the showboat tonight Look around at the happy sight We'll guarantee that you'll have a ball Come on, one and all What a great night you've got in store You wanna keep coming back for more Hey, everyone, let's go, on with the show What a great night you've got in store I bet you wanna keep coming back for more Hey, everyone, let's go, on with the show