Fukrey (2013) Script

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Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants... get under a blanket and hide Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants... get under a blanket and hide fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk Booze, weed, grass just one hit Out comes the smoke and all the trouble are gone Kneel before God, ring the temple bell

1, 2, 3, 4, I want kisses over and over

5, 6, 7, 8, at night well go to India Gate Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants... get under a blanket and hide Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants... get under a blanket and hide fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk We stay on the other side of the Jamuna, We love all women The girl is proud, we have no money, Ask for a loan, get powerless If we make money, we will catch the prey, Spray some deo on your shirt The good for nothing troupe is ready The penniless ones are here We have worn a pant While the other is being washed by mummy Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants... get under a blanket and hide Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants... get under a blanket and hide fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk Let there be a country of loafers and make me the President.

Sing with me now, brothers and sisters.

1,2,3,4, Long 1ive the Loafers Partyll

5, 67, 8, Death to all the smarty pants Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants Loafers, 0 Loafers, your luck is so messed up Even your shoes are in tatters Your luck is so messed up.

My father says... son, you hold your destiny in your own hands.'

But if I go by his words, which I seldom do, then by God... my destiny is fast asleep!

Do colleges also have morning assembly?

No man.

Only school teachers are obsessed with morning assembly and uniforms.

College is all about scoring girls.

You're right man.

In government schools, it's guys chasing guys!

You know Amit from the 12th grade?

Yeah.

He was in the toilet yesterday with Rahul during assembly.

Are you serious?

Of course!

We'll walk hand in hand we'll walk hand in hand, We'll walk hand in hand someday;

Dude, we can easily jump over this wall.

Why break our backs over this stupid hole?

Choocha!

We have only a couple of days of school to leave our mark behind.

That's all we've been doing for the past two years.

Trust me, this year we will graduate!

I swear on your mother!

Dude, is it difficult to bunk lectures in college?

No man.

You can do anything you want.

Study if you want to, otherwise forget it.

Lounge in the canteen hang around... take in the scent of beautiful girls... try and score with them... kiss them anytime, anywhere... no one bothers.

Sounds exciting!

Dude we're going to college together!

I'll become someone's boytriend on the very first day.

Hello May Day...

Attention... the wall is about to be breached!

Fire!

Dear god, you are the almighty.

You know everything there is to know... but I'd like to remind you once again.

Please get me migrated into Shalu's college this year.

It didn't happen last year, but this year please make it happen.

I will offer prayers daily.

Please, God.

Bishop College.

Just reminding you since there are so many colleges.

Bachelor of Commerce, 2nd year.

Give him your exam roll number as well.


Sir... there was a cooking gas cylinder along with these milk cans... now its gone.

Did you see anyone take it?

No, brother I don't drink milk.

In college, the girls will be...

Shut up, Choocha!

Stop sucking up.

Or I won't go with you.

Sorry bro.

Just that I'm really excited.

We'll sort you out, but for now, be quiet.

Okay...

I am sure it will be fun.

Stop...

Iook...


Sardarji, want to buy a gas cylinder?

Half price!

What are you staring at?

I found it on the street.

Cylinder?

Yeah.

You found it?

Yeah.

On the street?

Yeah.

I'll beat the crap out of you.

You bloody dope head... selling my own cylinder back to me?!

Whoa... I'm not a thief.

I found it on the street.

How does it belong to you?

I'll tell you!

Okay... fine... you can keep it.

As a gift.

I am very rich anyway.

All my money's gathering dust...

Just leave.

Sardarji... how about a plate of chole-bhatura?

Can't you hear my stomach growl?

Chotu... give him a serving of chole-bhatura.

Here you go.

Dumbass, can't you serve properly?

You think I'm a homeless beggar?

What the...

You think this is your father's wedding reception to feed him for free?

Why don't you slice me up and add me to his dish?

You think this is a soup kitchen?

Hello?

In five minutes.

I'll be there.

Now he's got angels falling for him where are you off to?

Dad, that was Raju. He's clearing our dues today.

Did Raju rob a bank last night... that he wants to clear our dues?

You think I'm an idiot?

He really called me, I'll see you later.

What a bad start to the day. I can't even set my beard!


10 more seconds and I'd have taken the bus.

Have I ever been late?

You know what my dad's like.

He can't set his beard unless he yells at me every morning.

How was the movie yesterday?

It was okay.

You never take me along with your college friends.

I'm in college too.

You aren't in college, you're studying through correspondence.

It's the same thing.

Anyway, I'm coming to your college next year.

So hang with us next year then.

You've become very rude lately.

Never mind.

You'll show me around your college today?

I've been asking you for so long. Say something.

Fine!

Only if Pandit lets us go.

Who is Pandit?

What's up Panditji?

Nothing new... it's the same grind everyday.

I'm stuck in his shithole for other reasons or I would've quit this job long ago.

You see this room?

Back home the bull knocks up cows in a room bigger than this.

You're right, Panditji.

My dad said the same thing to my mom.

Anyway, tell me something... how much do we have to score to make it to college?

At lea. St, 85 °/° You must be kidding!

You are kidding yourself to even think about college.

All year round you make life hell for others.

Now it's your turn to feel the heat.

There is another way in...

If you want, I can pull some strings.

Panditji any way will do.

We'll tear through the roof, if necessary.

Tell us what you can do.

Exam papers for the 12th grade are out.

What do you mean out?

Out, Choocha, out!

When he says they're out, he means they've been leaked.

Holy shit Panditji!

Please do something for us.

Consider it done.

Come here a day before every exam.

50,000 rupees for every exam paper.

Fifty?!!

That's too much!

I'm charging others 60,000.

This is a discount for you.

Why? Do you fancy us, or what?

He's so vulgar!

Shut up!

Panditji you'll give us the real papers right?

My papers will have better printing than the real ones.

Get the money in place.

You only have a week.

Seven days only.

Get it?

Panditji can we walk around the college once?

I really want to go inside.

Never seen one.

Please don't say no.

Please, Panditji.

Come on Sunday and I'll give you a tour!

Why? You want us to come and hang around with the gardener's daughter?

Five minutes is all we want... we'll be out in two!

Try to understand you can't go in!

Panditji... can he go in with me?

He's only going to drop me off, please.

Take.

Panditji how could you let him in? Even he doesn't study here...

But his girlfriend does.

Huh! She's not his girlfriend.

I've seen her with Monty a lot of times.

Really? Monty?

Yeah.

You mean, cheating?

Shut it Choocha.

Panditji please let us go in or he won't stop until Sunday.

Please.

Okay, okay...

Listen, if anyone asks, say that you are Zafar's cousins.

Is Zafar the big bully here?

Not a bull, but a cow.

He was the cool dude some years ago but is lying low now.

I pull strings for people all the time... but Zafar once pulled strings for me.

A star shines in my soul And shows me the path Shows me grace in an unfinished note And And

Lord, I can't take it anymore Say something Lord, open the doors of destiny Please open them Lord, I can't take it anymore Say something Lord, open the doors of destiny Please open them All my dreams Are shut in a box Lord, make a hole in that box Lord, I can't take it anymore Say something Lord, open the doors of destiny Please open them


Dreams are bubbling in my eyes

They speak to me every day

Dreams are bubbling in my eyes They speak to me every day They are in my eyes, in all I say Yet so far from my reach

I've lost all patience Give me some mantra I've been vying for your attention for so long Lord, I can't take it anymore Say something Lord, open the doors of destiny Please open them Lord, I can't take it anymore Say something Lord, open the doors of destiny Please open them

A star shines in my soul And shows me the path Shows me grace in an unfinished note Let the tune be completed A rhythm is at play And melody flows This continues Sometimes with words, sometimes without Our conversations, continue A star shines in my soul

Dude!

You play the violin just like Shahrukh does in his films.

Fantastic!

There you go again making a jerk of yourself!

It's a guitar not a violin!

Right?

Hunny stop embarrassing me in front of strangers, okay?

Whatever it is, you are really good.

What course are you in?

I don't study here.

Oh, so you teach music?

Like Shahrukh Khan from 'Mohabbatein'?

Hey!

He doesn't teach here and you don't study here.

Aren't your five mlnuutes uup yyet?

We were just leaving, relax.

Before we leave, won't you introduce us to Zafar?

Let's see what breed your cow is.

That's like asking if the sun is out on a hot, sunny afternoon.

You are standing in his presence.

Him?

That's amazing, Panditji.

I've decided that as soon as we get admission I'm taking up the guitar.

Hunny, girls are crazy for guitarists!

Chicks will stick to you like magnets if you've got a guitar.

Hey... time is up!

You better get the money in time.

You're top breed, for sure, brotherl Seven days only, get it?

So, Mr. Rockstar... do you intend wasting your talent over here?

When will you hit the big time?

Huh?

Album?

I'm asking because I'm worried about you.

I've known you for six years.

You rocked this place for the first three.

The other three I still don't understand.

Anything clicked yet?

No, Panditji.

They know my face so well at all the auditions and reality shows... they don't even let me in through the gate.

As for recording an album, that's another ballgame altogether.

How could that be?

I mean here you play so well.

I get your music, they don't?

It's not their fault.

These strings are tied to someone else.

When that person is away, the music also goes away.

Touching.

I get what you're saying.

Keep playing.

If you need any help, let me know.

This is my new visiting card.

Look... it has my picture too.

What do you think?

Good.

Carry on... see you later.

Dude, I have a dream.

On our first day of college... we will enter on horses.

You riding the white horse... and I on the black... wearing black sunglasses long leather boots with zippers... red shirts and black pants.

Shirts buttoned up to the collar.

Dude, girls will kill for us.

That reminds me...

I forgot to tell you about the dream I had this morning!

You jerk!

All you've done is talk nonsense all day... missing out on what's really important.

As it is you've had a dream after bloody ages.

Sorry, dude.

The thing is I dream every night but sometimes I forget.

So anyway...

I saw, you were at the Jumbo Circus.

And a jumbo, I mean an elephant goes wild... and instead of playing with a colourful ball, it takes you in its trunk... and starts banging you on the floor.

That's when I get there and rescue you from its trunk.

Then I wrap the trunk around my hand and whack it with one blow.

Knock-out!

You bloody scoundrel... elephants banging me on the floor, horses dragging me... next it'll be a donkey kicking me...

Smart ass, a little puppy scares you to bits... and you think you can whack an elephant!

Knock-out?!

Dude, you can't control what you see in a dream.

A dream is a dream.

Anything is possible.

Anything is possible!

Shut up now! Let me figure it out.

Mad elephant... elephant... elephant as in Ganpati.

As in?

Lord Ganesha!

Lord Ganesha?

Bloody Englishman!

Indian Gods are so colourful!

Dude, don't confuse.

That was Lord Hanuman, this is Lord Ganesha.

Hang on to Lord Ganesha.

Lord Ganesha... also known as Shri Ganesh.

And 'a whaclk wlth the Inand'... a hand has five fingers... five!

So it's number five on Shri Ganesh.

Let's go.

Here they come again.

A hundred tickets for Shri Ganesh, number four.

Shri Ganesh... number four...

Do you have number four?

No.

Sorry, we're out of four.

In that case, we'll go with number eight.

Number eight...

Do you have number eight?

No, out of eight too.

Really?

What do we do, Choocha?

Let's take number three.

Three?

No, I think we should go with number five.

Screw what you think, let's go for three.

I don't get you...

Don't argue.

I want number three.

Oh no, number five.

Dude, shut up! Why don't you get it?

Tell me, do you have number five?

This is not fair, Hunny.

Hey! I asked for number five, not your daughter's hand in marriage.

Hurry up, it's almost time for the draw.


Scoundrels!

Pulled a fast one again!

Cut, cut...

Sorry.

Lucky 13...

Sir, sir... the talkback is off...

Start!

What's wrong?

Even pirated CDs don't get stuck like you do.

We've done 13 takes.

Lucky 13!

Get back in tune and start singing.

Come on, start...

Sir, I can't do it.

Sir, I'm unable to sing.

Let's pack up for today.

Pack up?

If you're calling the shots here, what do you want me for?

You think, I'm here for your autograph?

If you can't sing, get lost.

Out!

Call the percussionists in. Let's see what they can do.

Listen Mr. Rockstar, if you continue to sing like this... very soon you'll be sporting wrinkles, but your album won't see the light of day.

Now get lost!


Sir...

Yes?

Did you see anyone steal my motorcycle tyre?

No brother I'm not married.


You dopelnead!

Stop right there!


Lali...

Although it's none of my business, I'd like to tell you something.

Look I know you're hurt but... it's not necessary that your school friends remain friends in college too.

A lot changes when you are in college.

You start a whole new life.

Ma'am, that doesn't mean you give up on old friends for new.

No, not at all.

Friendship doesn't end but priorities change.

Sometimes, a person's tastes also change...

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.

Take care.


Excuse me ma'am!

I meant her.

Ma'am, don't you teach at BCMC?

Yes.

Ma'am, I want to transfer to your college next year?

Good luck.

Sure, but what I mean is... if you could teach me...

Me?

Take tuition classes.

I tried but all batches are full.

Moreover most of the syllabus is completed.

So, how can I help?

Ma'am, don't you teach accountancy?

Yes.

I heard from Shalu.

Ma'am, I find accountancy tough.

I can't figure it out... whereas, I've studied all the other subjects.

Sorry, ma'am.

Ma'am, please ma'am.

Accountancy is very difficult.

Look, don't get me wrong.

I know why you are doing this... don't rush into it.

No, ma'am, I'm not rushing.

Please, ma'am.

Alrlght... we'll begin this evening, at my place.

Will you manage?

Yes ma'am, no problem.

Thank you, ma'am.

Listen, think about what I was trying to tell you earlier.

It will help you.

See you.

I've thought about it...

I have a point to make.

When I go out with another girl in the same college... that's when she'll realise.

Today is your last day in school.

Your board exams begin in five days... and today you'll get your roll numbers.

Only those students whose attendance is more than 75°/o will get their roll numbers.

There are two dimwits who won't get them.

Stand up as I call out your names.

Dalip Singh and Vikas Gulati.

Wow.

Standing up even before your names are called.

Excellent!

Sumit, take this... and distribute these roll numbers outside.

You two... come here.

Scoundrels, if you weren't attending my tuition classes...

I'd have never given you your roll numbers.

Here.

Got my tuition fees?

Yes sir.

Put it here and get lost!

Sir, which college did you attend?

I mean was attendance compulsory there too?

Let me remind you, numbskull... this is the year you make a hat trick of failures.

You're thinking about college and...

I'm thinking about where I will put you in this classroom.

Now get lost.

We shouldn't have given him the fees.

Now how will we arrange the money to pay for the question papers?

If we hadn't bought roll numbers off him, we couldn't even have appeared for the exams.

And if you take that many days to come up with a dream how will I arrange the money?

Where is today's dream?

Dude, I dream every night but I don't always remember it.

Remember that Hollywood film...

Inception?

The one with the 'Titanic' hero...

It was shown that they use needles to get inside the brain.

Why don't you come up with something like that?

Then you can poke some needles in me and watch my dream with me.

It's not easy to remember my dreams.


Are you going to burn a hole in the building?

You stroll by to get close to me You stroll by to get close to me Sometimes you look in my eyes, sometimes you gaze at my walk Sometimes you look in my eyes, sometimes you gaze at my walk Ambarsariya, don't pick the bud unbloomed Your mother's said the harshest things to me Ambarsariya, ho Ambarsariya

Dude. Your confidence frightens me sometimes.

And your own face doesn't?

You can't be bird watching here.

Think about the exams!

We have five days to pay Panditji.

Another year we'll have to rot in school.

Shut up, you jinx!

Can't you be happy at my progress?

Yeah right!

Once in 1st grade, twice in 6th grade... and for the third bloody time in the 12th.

Progress!

Who fails in the 1 st grade, man??


Will you be my friend?

If yes, then hold the kite up.

Ambarsariya, don't pick the bud unbloomed Your mother's said the harshest things to me Ambarsariya

So, you want to be my friend?

If I didn't want to, would I hold up the kite?

Yeah... but only friends, nothing more.

Don't ever say 'I love you' to me.

Of course not, why would I say, 'I love you'?

You're not my girlfriend.

Anyway, I already have a girlfriend.

Really? What's her name?

First tell me yours.

Priya now tell me her name.

Ja. Smlne, she is in college.

She's a year older than me.

Actua. Ily, I have a tlnlng for mature girls.

You get to learn a lot from them.

Really? What mature things has she taught you?

Well... she taught me how to kiss.

What's there to teach in a kiss?

Not your regular kiss, a mature kiss.

French kiss!

French kiss?

What's that?

You know what it is.

I really don't know tell me, please.

You put your lips together and...

What?

You put your lips together and let your tongue do the magic.

That's French kiss.

So... you've French kissed this girl?

Of course! Every time we meet, we French kiss.

I don't want to be your friend, you talk dirty.

Great.

You were the one who asked what a French kiss was!

I don't care, I don't want to talk to you ever!

And if you ever come to the roof again, I'll make sure my dad thrashes you.

Now that's what you call a crash landing!

Okay, so... debit is what comes in credit is what goes out.

This is the basic rule for all general entries.

Apply this rule and make a general entry for Rent paid.

Ma'am, this is the only entry I can't get right!

Write... rent debit, credit cash.

Ma'am, why do we credit cash?

When we get rent shouldn't we debit it, instead?

This isn't the rent you get for your shop.

This is the rent you have to pay.

Oh! This is that one. Right.

Now I get it.

Now apply the basic rule to it.

Which rule?

What do you mean, which rule?

Ljust told you a minute ago.

Oh! That one...

Debit what comes in, credit what goes out.

Yes ma'am.

Yes ma'am.

What's next?

Zafar, I know what music means to you... but you have other responsibilities too, don't you?

Neetu?

I need your support... not pressure please!

Pressure?

Okay.

How much more time do you need?

Perfect!

Now you doubt me?

Listen, I didn't say that.

But this way it can go on forever, right?

Be practical, Zafar... music is good as a hobby.

Music isn't my hobby, Neetu.

So what am I... your hobby or...

Oh come on, Neetu... seriously... doh't behhavye llke a kld.

I'm not behaving like a kid, but you sure are.

Tell me, music or me?

Neetu!

Music or me?

Music.


Remember one thing Zafar... if you fail to make it as a musician, I'll never forgive you.

Because you're sacrificing our relationship for your music.

Remember this.


Find a fix, find a quick fix Find a fix, find a quick fix Make a quick guess or hit bulls eye Find a fix, find a quick fix Find a fix, find a quick fix What's cooking, bro?

Nothing.

Sure seemed like something.

A 1ittle socia. I serrvlce.

Exam papers for the 12th grade are out.

I wanted to line up my buyers before I go buy them.

But they're all a bunch of bloody losers.

That's true.

You also want papers?

No, no I'm taking tuition classes.

Huh!

Like tuitions have ever helped anyone?

I'm taking tuition classes.'

Actually, you're right.

Accountancy is like a twisted pretzel for me!

Ljust don't get it.

But not for 12th grade, I need papers for 1st year college.

Can I get them?

But aren't you studytng through correspondence?

So what? It's the same thing.

College and correspondence - the same thing!

If it were the same, we'd be Doctor Hunny and Choocha by now!

Tell me, please...

Dude, go and meet Panditji.

College and correspondence...

Who? The BCMC guy?

Yes, he can pull a lot of strings.

Meet him and say, 'Hunny referred your name.'

He will fix things for you.

Okay?

See you.

How much is it?

Never mind brother.

Chotu...

64 rupees.

If you want to save yourself If you want a future From here and there, from anywhere Grab what you can You have to reach here.

Mr. Narayan Pandit, from rags to riches.

How're you, Panditji?

Fine...

God's been kind.

What brings you here?

Hunny told me you leak exam papers.

What the...

Keep it down.

You're asking for papers like they're candy!

Sorry.

Which grade?

Now don't keep it so low that even I can't hear you.

Bachelor of Commerce, first year, correspondence.

Only the accountancy paper.

I don't mess around with the university...

But I can fix you up with something else.

As in?

You want admission in this college right?

Yes!

I knew it.

I don't think you can get in on merit.

But if you donate 250,000 to the President's fund, your seat is fixed.

President's fund?

Yeah... full guarantee.

I will get the form signed and sealed, myself!

Listen carefully... seats are limited.

You delay and you'll be hanging around for another year.

Okay?

Only two hundred and fifty thousand!

Two hundred and fifty thousand!

Two hundred and fifty thousand??

You son of a gun. Have you lost it?

Which college takes a fee of 250,000??

In my time we studied in makeshift schools at a two and a half rupee fee... that also sometimes we didn't pay.

250,000!

As it is nothing gets in through your thick skull...

Forget bloody college and sit here at the shop with me.

All he does is waste hhis tlme... hanging out in college or chasing girls.

And he wants, two hundred and fifty thousand!

I can't help you.

I'm sorry, I can't help you.

Someone will come...

Zafar...

I don't know how this happened... he was perfectly fine when he left home.

The doctor suggested that it's better we admit him to a private hospital.

For that we need about 100,000 rupees.

And then some more for treatment.

How will we manage that?

Take a look at him.

Here you go... we've taken the blood sample.

You can submit the urine sample at the desk outside.


Zafar... my father thrust a butcher's knife in my hand... but your father won't do that to you.

Make music with your heart not your mind.


Find a fix, find a quick fix Find a fix, find a quick fix Make a quick guess or hit bulls eye Find a fix, find a quick fix If you want to save yourself If you want a future From here and there, from anywhere Grab what you can Find a fix, find a quick fix The world doesn't rest on hope The world rests on a quick fix The world rests on a quick fix Up and down, everyone is a hustler, A huge hustler, heavy hustler You come make your mark too You come make your mark too Make your mark Happy birthday, Pradhanji.

Welcome my dear Bombay princess!

Your timing is perfect.

I was just thinking about you.

Really?

I thought you were giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Hello ma'am...

I love the way you play with words.

Strikes a chord every time!

Let's talk business.

Dimple has sprained her leg and only you can dance like her.

I'll pay you well.

Set the stage on fire, today!

Hi sexy!

Are you out of your freaking mind?

Come on... you look like a bear.

By God, the audience won't enjoy it.

You want me to make an ass of myself for your audience?

I'll pay you three thousand more for this.

Six!

Four!

Done deal, trim down the jungle.

Go... shave it off.

Dare you move!

Is it your father's bloody crop, you jerk!

Pradhan, you better step aside or...

I'll actually set fire to the stage!

Hey... listen to me.

Hunny... how will we arrange the money?

Don't go!

Pradhan, I'll dance.

You can even tweeze my eyebrows off.

Look at this.

Unnati, Unnati Shake it baby, Unnati.

Your walk is sweet like sugar syrup Unnati 0h, Unnati.

Shut up!

Let's go.

Let's go.

Pradhan, I'll dance better.

Dude... our destiny isn't sleeping.

It's bloody dead!

Time flies Catch up with it Come on.

Get into someone's pockets Or fall at someone's feet If you want to save yourself If you want a future From here and there, from anywhere Grab what you can I always meant when I said that...

I don't guard a college, but a treasure.

The first few months may look bleak, but you'll see the results in a year or two.

Trust me, it's as good as a pension.

Hello Panditji.

How nice to see you, Sardarji. You've come at the right time.

Would you like some tea?

Sure.

Have a seat.

What have you decided?

Is it possible to get a discount?

How can I give a discount on a discounted rate?

People are paytng 350000. You can ask Zafar here.

What have you got to worry?

You're the only son of Mr. Billa, the famous restaurant owner.

His one stir in his pot will churn out 250,000!

He will stir fry me in the same pot instead!

In that case, enjoy your first and last cup of tea here.

Oh come on Panditji... has anyone ever walked out of here empty handed?

Your flattery won't help, let's get straight to business.

You've got only three days to go, have you managed the money?

The thing is Panditji... we haven't got the money yet.

But I have a kick-ass idea.

I'll pay for all the question papers in one go.

All I need is someone to bankroll us.

I wouldn't even bankroll my own son.

No offence, but I'm sure your fathers stand by your own father!

It's not a children's savings plan, it's a business investment.

Really? What's this business that I don't know of?

The thing is... our Choocha is a golden goose... every morning he lays a golden egg.

I mean every night he has a dream.

The next morning I break that dream down to a lottery number.

Hold on!

I take the world for a ride, don't you try to hoodwink me!

Playing lottery is banned in Delhi for 10 years.

Panditji... you may be older, but we are wiser.

You sit here in this cubicle, while we've visited every nook and cranny in this city.

Delhi has four borders, that's where lotteries are sold in bulk.

All you have to do is mention our name there.

If it were a small amount, we wouldn't bother you.

But this calls for millions.

Your investment, our skill... profit for all, what say?

Listen, you day dreaming jerk...

I'll be right back with Zafar's stuff.

Have your tea and get going.

Zafar, wait for me.

Trying to sell a dream to me.

Don't worry, Choocha. Pandit's an idiot.

He'll regret this later.

Yuck the miser hasn't even added sugar.

Can you please add some sugar, Choocha?

What are the returns like?

Brother, the more sugar you add, sweeter the tea will be.

Absolutely!

100,000 will give you a million, 200,000 will give two million.

You want to invest?

No... not me, but I know just the person for that.

But...

But what?

You'll be asked for collateral.

Of course, we have no objection to that.

We have a necklace on us.

Was the tea too hot?

Panditji where's Bholi Punjaban these days?

What?

You heard right.

Move...

Zafar, are you crazy?

What have they brainwashed you with?

Don't fall into their trap.

They'd even sell their fathers.

Don't get into their mess.

I'm the one who is in need please take us to her.

Please.

Fine...

I'll take you to her but 10°/o of the deal is mine.

Why don't you take it all and turn this shithole into Taj Mahal?

Panditji who is this birdie named Bholi Punjaban... whose feathers we haven't counted?

Birdie?


That's right!

I am a hustler.

Bholi only has an innocent sounding name.

The moment she speaks, it's as if a tsunami has struck the river Yamuna.

Follow me.

Those deflated balloons on your roof belong to your husband.

Your son stares at my chest all day... with his tongue sticking out like a dog.

If you say another word, I'll set two bulls free in your house... will strip your whole family down in public.

Oh God, she's made our lives hell here.

I think it's better to sell this house and move away.

Fall prey to Bholi's abuses and... your soul won't find a hole to escape the body!

Put Jagbir on the job... make sure they leave the house.

Yes madam.

Bholi has got her hands in every illegal business.

Yes? Hello?

Are you done?

How many parties?

Madam, two parties have deposited 50000 each.

More, more, call more or...

I'll make you dance until you're sore.

Yes madam.

Mention Bholi's name and politicians tremble in fear... and the biggest of stars wet their pants.

Hello beauties, did you get the payment?

No, madam.

He said he is the minister's P.A. And he won't pay ever again.

Is that so? Dial him for me.

Hi, good afternoon.

I'm John Miller, calling you from London and...

I'm glad to inform you that... your email account has won 500,000 British Pounds.

Hello?

Say hello to your mom!

You may be the Minister's PA but I don't give a damn.

Bholi... you are going too far!

You won't get the payment.

Listen, the minister is in a good mood today... send some college girls over to his farm house.

If the minister is in a good mood, why don't you please him?

I'll send over some hot oil.

Get it?

First payment, then enjoyment.

Now hang up!

Here.

Bholi Punjaban isn't any little birdie, she's a hawk.

The last nail in the coffin.

Ah!

Pandit what a surprise!

Haven't seen you in a while.

Hope you're not suffering from some secret disease.

Of course not, Bholiji.

Actually, these days my wife showers me with lot of love... so I didn't feel the need to drop by.

So then, are you looking to adopt a girl?

Not at all.

These boys here have an investment scheme.

Really?

I thought they're here to propose marriage to me.

Listen, I don't deal with insurance agents and bankers anymore.

They are not those guys...

Panditji let it be. I'll take over from here.

Madam, I am Hunny and this here is Choocha.

What?

Dalip.

No, the other one?

Choocha.

Choocha?

Interesting.

And that's your captain?

No madam, I am the captain.

This is our coach, Zafar.

Shoot.

The thing is... our friend Choocha here has a God given gift.

He has a dream every night.

The next morning I use my God given gift to break that dream down to a lottery number.

We buy a lottery of that number, the number is drawn and... we win, as simple as that.

Are you done?

No madam, not yet.

So madam, here's how it works... when we play 220 rupees, we win 2,000.

When we play 2,200, we win 20000.

If we play 220,000, we will win 2 million!

If you can lend us that 220,000, we'll split the jackpot.

Moreover you can have 250,000 from our share... as an advance payment towards the leaked question papers.

So, how do you like the plan?

I've come across a lot of salesmen in my life... but never one who sells dreams.

Trust me, madam.

Every time Choocha has a dream we hit the jackpot.

You can check.

Even if I believe in what you've just said... what do you have as collateral for my investment?

Bholiji, they have a necklace.

Do you?

Bloody worthless freeloader... trytng to pawn me a fake necklace.

Disgusting!

How would I know?

Ever since I was a child, my mom would wear this for functions... and tell everyone, 'look at my expensive necklace'.

I did not know I swear on her.

Great!

Like mother, like son. What a fraud family.

Now get lost.

Bunch of losers.

What if I give you something as collateral?

What the hell is happening here, Pandit?

You brought an entire gang?

Planning to get me busted?

No, Bholiji... he had no idea I was following them.

I came because I need the money too.

If its okay, I can get something for collateral.

You can shove all your collaterals up your behind!

I will only invest for something substantial.

How about the deeds to my shop?

Which shop?

Billa Sweet Shop.

You are Billa's son?

Yes you know my dad?

Yes very well.

Alright, see you tomorrow with the deed and the lottery number.

Thank you, Bholiji.

Get one thing inside your tiny little brains.

If my money goes down the drain...

I'll take back twice as much.

If that sounds good, come back tomorrow.

Otherwise, eat, drink and make merry.

I'm thinking, if we double the investment... we'll get 4 million, instead of 2.

Two for us and two for Bholi.

Don't be greedy Hunny.

It's a sure thing and we won't have to go to her every time.

You think Bholi will agree?

Without a doubt!

So, even I will get 500,000 instead of 250,000.

Yes everyone will get 500,000.

Okay.

Wonderful!

I do all the hard work and everyone else has all the fun.

You haven't slept yet?

Dude, I don't see your chole-bhatura working on him.

The chole-bhatura from our sweet shop could knock a horse out.

Dude, how's the lassi?

Wait a minute.

I hope he doesn't get knocked out so badly that he doesn't remember the dream.

Don't worry, I've added a lot of almonds in the lassi.

Watch how it makes his brain run.

Superb lassi, man. Well done Billa!

Now come on Choocha, go to sleep and dream something nice and crispy.

Don't worry brother, you'll be served something incredible.

Hunny as soon as we get the money I want to buy a pair of jeans.

The kind that are ripped at the knees, like Salman Khan wears.

And Fila shoes, with red soles.

Okay, I'll sleep.

No, not jeans...

I'll buy cargo pants with multiple pockets.

And in every pocket bundles of 100 rupee notes.

We'll spend like crazy and have butter chicken every day!

Good night.

Hunny can you come up on the bed?

I don't like it all alone.


Ljust can't fall asleep.

Idiot, do you want to suck on my thumb now??

Go to sleep!

You are excited aren't you?

I'll play a nice tune, it'll help you relax.

That sounds good.

Hunny meanwhile why don't you give me a nice head massage.

It feels really good and will help me fall asleep.

My legs are aching after standing at Bholi's place for hours.

No Lali you don't have to... but okay... if you insist.

Feels so good...

Can you turn off the lights?

Turn off the lights, ljust can't find sleep.

You won't find sleep even if you turn off the lights When will I find a beauty to turn off the lights for me?

Go off to sleep Choocha, or else Bholi will wake up.


I won't spare you.

Get away.

Here... wham... bam!

Choocha...

Choocha...

Hey!

Choocha...

Wake up.

What happened?

Come on, out with the golden egg.

Why are you all staring?

Hurry up or I'll punch you.

Dude, you know I don't remember it easily.

Give me a minute.

Choocha, come on.

Yes now I remember...

I saw that...

youu...

I?

I saw that you were... dead.

Listen to me...

I saw that you were dead and the four legs of your bed... were slowly turning into the four ends of your coffin.

Then Lali, Zafar and Panditji and I... carry your coffin to the crematorium.

As I am about to light the pyre... your butt catches fire, you wake up with a jolt and... start running towards the jungle.

And you run into... none other than Bholi Punjaban!

Who transforms into a lion and swallows you.

As soon as I reach there...

I shove my hand in Bholi's mouth who is now a lion... and pull you out.

Your butt's still ablaze.

Anyway, I get furious, I walk up to Bholi...

Iook her straight in the eye and tear her face in two.

One part I throw east, the other west.

Knockout!

Four legs of a bed, four ends of a coffin, four shoulders... the number is definitely four!

A burning pyre?

Pyre... pyre comes from fire...

So it's the Goddess of fire, Ma Jwala.

And?

Dude, the...

Lion!

Lion is what the Goddess Vaishno rides on.

So, we're sure about the Goddess.

Goddess Vaishno is also known as...

Durga.

So it's number four on Jai Durga.

Come, it's time to party with Bholi.

What about your burning butt though?

Listen, you minister's pet.

Get this once and for all!

First you make the payment, then you get the delivery.

Got it?

If you haven't... come here and I'll make sure you get it.

Bye!

I didn't think you'd turn up.

Well here we are... Ioaded with ammunition.

Just say fire.

You have a way with words, I must say.

Out with the name and number.

Sure, but I have something else to tell you.

You see, the jackpot amount is not nearly enough now that the partners have increased.

I was wondering if you would invest 440,000 instead of 220,000.

The profit doubles and everyone is happy.

What do you say?

Unbelievable!

Trytng to sell me another deal!

Fine.

I'm ready to play any amount you want me to!

But hear me out once again...

If my money goes down the drain...

I'll shove my hand up your behind and grab twice as much.

Still want me to raise the investment?

No...

Bholiji, 440,000 is good.

In fact, let's just stay at 220,000.

Sorry madam, let's keep that deal open for the future.

Right now, let's just play 440,000 on Jai Durga number four.

Listen Damroo, bet 440,000 on Jai Durga number four, for me.

Yeah today's draw.

Call me as soon as the number is out.


Tell me, Damroo!

Okay.


Yes?

Who wants to go first?

Madam, trust me I've never gone wrong with my formula.

Perhaps he said four and you misheard it.

Why don't you check again?

Why don't I shove the phone down your throat, you smartass?

That way you can keep dialling.

Get it?

Bholiji, what about my shop deeds?

Shut up!

Coach, you better control your team!

Yes? How do I get back my money?

Don't whisper in his ear.

Speak up, loud and clear.

Madamji, I told...

Shh!

Madamji, I told him that we should work out installments.

We'll pay back a little every month.

Why not?

I'll come up with an EMI scheme just for you.

On this note slap yourself real hard.

Why?

Slap yourself or he will do it.

I'll do it, don't bother him.

Harder.

Hey...

Is that good?

Happy?

And you, Billa's little puppy, should I call him?

No, please don't call dad.

Well then, tell me how you intend to pay me back.

We don't have the money.

If we had, we wouldn't have come to you.

We needed the money to get into college But here you need the money to get out.

In that case, why don't you tell us what to do?

As he said we don't have the money.


Ljust have one way out for you.

There's a rave party tonight at the Faridabad-Gurgaon border.

And this is what you'll have to do.

I'll give you some pills that you have to sell there.

Each pill is for 3,000 rupees.

And you'll have 500 such pills.

You think it'll sell at that price?

Like hot cakes!

It will be teeming with the rich and wealthy.

So?

Alright madam, we will do it.

Do you know what those pills are?

Whatever they are, we have to sell them.

I don't think Bholi is ready to negotiate.

It's an order not a request.

How will you sell the pills?

Just like you sell samosas at your shop.

Hunny tell him to shut up.

Relax! Even I am afraid.

But shedding tears or raising your voice won't get you anywhere with Bholi.

Let me know if you have another option.

Dude, which of these is the door?

Move out!

500 pills and no hanky-panky with the money, okay?

Chooch!

You're staying with me.

I knew it!

Looking at the love for me in your eyes, I didn't want to leave.

Let them go.

In fact, even the Chicago Bulls should go.

My stories will make you fall head over heels in love with me.

Go on, I'll be fine.

In my 30 years on earth and 16 year career... no one has ever yapped such bullshit around me.

I really don't get you.

Who do you think you are?

Talking rubbish all the time!

You can leave, he remains here.

Another thing... if you get into any trouble...

I don't know you and you don't know me.

All I care about is my money.

Otherwise you'll be joining my handicapped army.

Get it?

Now leave!

Lali... why don't you give me your phone that way I can stay in touch.

I mean you shouldn't think I'm ignoring you guys just because I'm with a girl.

Priya...

Yeah? What do you want?

Can't I call you?

Hurry up, I need to study for the exams.

Here.

What's this?

The latest chartbusters.

Why are you giving this to me?

It's a gift, just take it.

But why?

Listen, there's a fabulous party happening in Gurgaon later.

And you're coming with me.

Have you lost your mind?

There are still three days to go for the exams.

And anyway, I'll give you the question paper the day before.

You can easily learn the answers.

I don't want your CD, I don't want the papers... and I don't want to go to the party either!

Why don't you take your girlfriend with you?

Well...

we broke up today.

What do you mean, broke up?

What's it to you?

Are you thinking of me as your boyfriend?

What nonsense!

It's not like you've said 'I love you' to me.

If I do, will you reconsider?

Go away.

Not fair.

I thought I'd take you along and we'd have a great time.

I had such a tough time convincing my friends about you.

And now you're playtng hard to get.

We're gentlemen, I'll bring you back home safe?

Don't complain later that you couldn't attend the party.

What excuse do I give at home?

Make up anything.

Say you are staying over at your friend's place to study.

Fine, I'll come along.

Pick me up from outside the Jain temple.

Great, I'll pick you up at 9pm.

And no salwar-kameez okay?

You should look hot.

Priya!

I love you.

What's the big deal about this pill that it costs 3,000 rupees?

For that amount, I could get a month's groceries... or pay ten years of school fees... or buy ten pairs of jeans...

And this one pill is worth so much?

There's definitely a big deal, got to figure this thing out.

Hunny stop talking nonsense!

Each pill is accounted for.

Don't create another mess.

As it is you've brought a girl along.

Will you stop with the sermon!

Have you ever been to a party?

Stags like us are not allowed in.

But a girl helps open doors.

Look... here comes our passport.


I must say... there's something amusing about you.

What's with your dreams?

There's a very long story to it.

I'd like to hear it.

If you say so.

Madam, it begins more than 20 million years ago, when I was a little boy...

Hold on!

How many years ago?

Were your ancestors even born back then?

This isn't right.

Just because I love you doesn't mean you can interrupt me.

This is how I narrate my story and it begins 20 million years ago.

You either hear the story or pass me that plate.

I'm sorry.

Narrate it the way you want, alright?

Shoot!

It begins 20 billion years ago...


It's all good now?

I'm here, and so is my friend It's all good now?

I'm here, and so is my friend And an evening of great fun The chance is good, have fun Make the most of this The chance is good, have fun Make the most of this And that's when Chacha Nehru called me from the moon... and I said, "Yes, Choocha speaking."

So Chacha Nehru said...

Who knew the world could be spirited With dance and music, with rhythm and clapping That I would get both love and money I was ruined till now now I'll have every joy.

With a click With a click I could get all my heart desires Now we can have chicken for two meals everyday.

It's all good now?

I'm here, and so is my friend It's all good now?

I'm here, and so is my friend And an evening of great fun The chance is good, have fun Make the most of this The chance is good, have fun Make the most of this

Ignore the words of the sane Darling, why not speak the words of love?

If you ever want to go shopping, come here I've set up a shop of dreams in my eyes I am putting my heart up for sale I am putting my heart up for sale at half the rate I've split my head banging it on your door It's all good now?

I'm here, and so is my friend It's all good now?

I'm here, and so is my friend And an evening of great fun The chance is good, have fun Make the most of this The chance is good, have fun Make the most of this


Catch him.

Leave him, Go after that guy!

Quickly.

Catch him.


Priya...

are you my girlfriend?

Answer me...

I even said 'I love you'.

Priya?

Talk to me.

Remember what you said on the roof?

Sir, there's no one else around here.

Let's go.

Priya?

Priya...

What do you think of yourself?

What's wrong? What did I do?

What did you do?

You lied and brought me to a party of drug addicts.

Right now you tried to take advantage of me.

Yet you're asking what you did!

I was stupid I got carried away...

I thought you really liked me.

I always believed there was some innocence behind your pranks.

I considered you a good person, but your intentions are pure evil.

That's not true Priya...

I really like you.

Don't you touch me!

You are a no-good scoundrel.

A pest!

Never show your face again.

Sir, he seems to be a pro at racing.

But his motorcycle is his downfall.

It's thumping roar will give it away.


Do you know Neetu?

Tell me, how do you know her?

Don't answer my question with a question.

How do you know Neetu?

Who is it?

Zafar. Lali.

What's the meaning of this?

And at this late hour?

Ma'am, I'll explain everything but first please hide this somewhere.

What's in it?

Ma'am, it has...

Neetu, it's drugs.

The cops are after us, please hide this somewhere.

Yes ma'am, please.

Ma'am, please...

Ma'am, please...

Where's the packet?

Sir... what packet?

I don't understand...

Now do you?

Where did you hide the packet?

Sir, sorry, I was afraid and that's why I lied.

Tell me, where is the packet?

Sir, it fell somewhere in the commotion.

I swear.

Check the place.

Sir, why are you asking about the packet?

You don't know why I'm asking?

Smartass...

Sir... you...

Hold that thought, I'll be right with you.

Answer me.

Sir, the packet you're talking about probably contains take away menu's of his restaurant.

Which he is saying he dropped somewhere.

Yes sir.

Are you his counsel?

Then you must be knowing the colour of his underwear too.

Isn't it?

So, tell me, what was on the menu besides marijuana?

Sir, I don't even drink dark chocolate, let alone do drugs.

You can test if you want.

Sir, I have a catering business, thought I'd fetch some orders for future parties.

And right now there aren't too many weddings taking place.

If you were innocent, why did you run?

Sir, as soon as I got there, it was chaos.

People were screaming, 'run, the cops are here! '

And so I ran.

My dad always says, 'stay away from cops and thugs'.

They're two sides of the same coin.'

I don't know about thugs, but you should definitely stay away from cops.

Come on.

Narrate the rest of your story at the police station.

And call your old wise man too.

Sir... no, sir.

Did you find it?

Excuse me who are you?

How did you just barge in to my house?

He will tell you, who I am. Just showed him my ID.

He made us run after him like dogs for 45 minutes.

There's nothing here, sir.

What's the meaning of this?

How can you search without a warrant?

How do you know them?

I am Neetu, and this is Lali, my student.

He takes tuitions from me.

And this is my fiance, Zafar.

You give tuitions at this hour?

Listen, I too have graduated.

I've been a student and a teacher.

And I've been engaged quite a few times.

You're fortunate that we didn't get the packet.

But don't think you are free.

Come and see me at the police station tomorrow.

Get it?

Let's go.

What is it that you're studying, anyway?

Sir...

Debit what comes in... credit what goes out.

I can't believe you could stoop so low.

Ma'am, how do you know Zafar?

I'll deal with you later.

Sit over there.

And you, cat got your tongue? Speak up.

No matter what I say, you won't believe it.

How nice, Zafar!

Why did you ever walk into my life?

You've messed up my peaceful existence.

You're neither with me nor have you let me go.

And your ego!

You could have told me, at least said a word.

You can apologise a million times... but couldn't share your problem with me?

Excuse me ma'am!

Ma'am, please tell me where you hid the packet.

Have you completely lost it, Lali?

You still want the packet?

I flushed it down the toilet.

What?

You flushed it?

Have you lost your mind?

Do you know what you've done?

Lali, behave yourself!

Behave myself?

You flushed 1.5 million rupees!

And with it my shop's deed.

Did you give it any thought?

You already seem to have a thing for Zafar.

Why didn't you tell me you are his girlfriend?

You betrayed me!

What rubbish Lali?

How did I betray you?

When a crumb was stuck in my moustache, didn't you brush it off?

Didn't you rest your hand on my shoulder, while riding with me on the bike?

Didn't you want Shalu and me to break up, so something could start between us?

Why did you do those things if you didn't like me?

Oh God!

I didn't know you were such a fool!

I didn't betray you.

Idiot!

Can I use your phone?

Please?

Yes, Choocha speaking.

Choocha, we're in a terrible mess.

What did you say?

Choocha?

Give me the phone.

Who is this?

Listen Choocha or whoever you are... don't you drag them into any mess, get it?

Hello, madam... how dare you call me Choocha, do you even know me?

Listen, it's me Lali.

Lali or lollypop, don't you call me Choocha!

And why are you talking in a girl's voice?

That's not me, that was Neetu madam.

Oh I see, it's a cross connection.

Hang up and call me again.

Hello?

Yes, Choocha speaking.

Listen, it's all over.

We have no idea where Hunny and Priya are.

And we've also lost the pills.

All I can say is we were saved by a whisker!

I suggest you escape too. And I mean it.

Do you hear me?

Hello?

Hello?


Yes Khanna did you raid the party?

Yes but the narcotics squad was also there.

Whom did you send this time with the pills?

He escaped with it.

Escaped?

Bloody government mongrel!

You aren't there to sniff out useless things.

At least once be on time.

You ruined the entire plan, you idiot.

What if he comes back with the packet now? Nothing I could do to him.

It's a loss... hang up now.

Madam, Choocha run...

Then you also run, son of a gun!

Run!

Yes madam.

Hello?

Dude, what have you gotten me into?

Where's Hunny?

I don't know.

The cops raided the place and everyone escaped.

And you conveniently got to a girl's place.

Fantastic!

You got me screwed.

I'll come and get you. Where are you?

I'm near Yamuna market.

Hurry up!

Don't forget to get me a cola.

Cola?

Madam Bholi... man on ground, holding Bobby's balls.

What to do?

Break his hand and bring him fast.

Okay, madam.

Yes where are you going?

Where are you going?

Stop. Where are you going?

Where are you going?


Cola?

She's not called Bholi Punjaban for nothing.

Don't even think about running away.

Anyway, you losers won't have passports to get out of the country... and if you hide anywhere here, she will hunt you down.

Panditji we're not here to be insulted.

Tell us if you've got a solution to this.

You can do away with the attitude.

I suggest you go to Bholi and let her do what she wants to.

In that case, should we stand straight or bend over?

Pandit is right.

Are you serious, Zafar?

Of course, I am... or else let me know if you have another option.

I knew you were a hustler when you told me about the dream and... gave me your fraud mom's fake necklace!

That's when I knew that you are a pain in the butt!

I feel like letting my men loose on you and throw you into the Yamuna river, tied to a big rock.

But if you drown, I won't get my money back.

Now, listen to me carefully... last chance...

You have 24 hours... to get me back my money 2.5 million.

2.5 million?

Yes... two-point-five million.

880,000 for the lotteries and 1.5 for the pills.

Bholiji, that adds up to 2.38 million.

What's the extra for?

Bloody Einstein!

The extra is for pardoning you.

To be honest you guys are actually worthless but I am quite generous.

2.5 million or else Billa's restaurant will be my new address.


Are you sure? You don't want me to come with you?

No, let it be, I'll manage.

The world can read the wisdom of the texts and yet it won't find contentment.

Two and a half letters of jugaad Two and a half letters of jugaad If read, you will be set

There is fighting everywhere, there is sorrow Become alert Become alert Don't go around in circles O innocent one Now, focus on your goal Now, focus on your goal Focus on the goal, on the innocent goal, focus.

The deadline Is killing everyone Even in their sleep, Everyone's running a race If you want to save yourself If you want a future From here and there, from anywhere Grab what you can Find a fix, find a quick fix Find a fix, find a quick fix Make a quick guess or hit bulls eye Find a fix, find a quick fix If you want to save yourself If you want a future From here and there, from anywhere Grab what you can Find a fix, find a quick fix I don't know how we will get the money.

We're getting deeper into this mess.

I don't understand why you didn't tell the cops everything.

Are you kidding?

The cops won't believe our story.

They suspect us I was the one being chased.

The cops could lock us up for life!

And... if my dad hears about it, I'm dead for sure.

There has to be a solution.

Dude...

I wanted to tell you that...

I had a dream last night.

Are you crazy?

Thanks to your dream we are in this mess today.

Despite how my dad is, he loves the restaurant... and won't survive if he hears that he has lost the restaurant to Bholi.

Took us for a ride... both of them.

Who asked you to follow us to Bholi's place?

You came on your own blowing your own trumpet... and handed over the deed to Bholi.

On top of that you're arguing, after losing the pills.

Why shouldn't I?

That's my shop at stake.

We win the lottery every time.'

What happened this time?

I'll break your face.

Shut up Choocha!

Dude... it was my mistake.

We are in this mess thanks to me.

That night, I couldn't sleep thinking about the riches.

All of you fell asleep and I was awake all night like an owl.

I pretended to be asleep next morning fearing Hunny... cooked up a dream and that's why the number didn't click.

Why didn't you open your mouth then?

We would've requested Bholi for more time.

Sorry, I was afraid. I goofed up.

But this dream is real... and Hunny's formula is rock solid too.

It's no use accepting your goof up now.

It's useless even if it's real.

It's not useless. Hunny and I have a record.

If it's a record, you can play it all you want.

Who will give the money? Your pop?

Lali!

How much do you want?

Neetu!

Neetu ma'am.

Have you lost your mind?

Yesterday you were angry at me and now you're getting into this.

Do you have any other option, Zafar?

If they are telling the truth, perhaps it's possible that...

If and perhaps in the same sentence, Neetu.

Do I need to say anything more?

Hunny, I've heard enough of your crap.

No more arguments, please.

Right, until yesterday all of this sounded like music to your ears, now it's crap!

Yes we all had our needs... got carried away, especially me.

We got greedy, took a shortcut and got involved with a hustler.

Well you suggested the hustler's name.

Perhaps you are hand in glove with her.

That's enough!

Zafar... Lali... Neetu madam... for once please believe what I'm saying.

I swear on my mother.

We are failures when it comes to studies, but never with the lottery.


So, what was your dream?

Say it.

Lali, what are you doing?

Fine, you can do as you wish!

Count me out, thank you.

Zafar...

Zafar...

Zafar...

Never mind him...

you carry on.

Don't get angry on hearing it.

Come on already!

Okay.

I saw that, while chasing a falling kite, a mad dog bites you.

Then you start barking like that mad dog... and go around in circles chasing your own tail.

Somehow I get there and as the mad dog jumps at you...

I send it flying with a kick.

Then I lift the other mad dog, that is you up in my arms... and in slow motion I take you to the veterinarian.

You take a liking to me and... keep licking my face all along the way.

The veterinarian pierces you with big injections... transforming you into my friend Hunny again.

Choocha, you actually dream these things?

Or always cook them up?

I mean I'm the one who's getting screwed every time.

Except for the last one, all dreams are real.

I swear.

Of course.

It's better to be hounded by Bholi than to have a friend like you.

Don't say that.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Don't I always save you in the dreams?

Dude, if you're through with the reunion, can we decode the number?

Number!

Dog...

A dog bit... with his teeth.

And a dog has 32 teeth.

3 plus 2 makes 5.

When a dog bltes... you get 14 injections.

1 plus 4 is also 5.

The number is five.

What colour was the dog?

You or the mad dog that bit you?

Black.

Black dog...

Black dog is...

Bhairo Baba's pet.

And Bhairo Baba's temple is behind the old fort.

The old fort is in Delhi and...

Delhi's old name is...

Indraprastha.

Indraprastha lottery number five!

We got the number, what about the money?

I can help you with some.

My savings and other investments add up to about 300000.

125,000 is for Zafar's dad's treatment...

You can use the rest, if it helps.

What about Zafar?

Zafar is not ready to listen.

Well we need more money...

I can manage some but we'll still fall short.

I will get the rest.

No, Lali, your restaurant is already...

Precisely why I have to see this through.


And what plans do we have?

Hello?

Who is it?

My mother!

Hail thee!

The Mother Goddess has called on me from the temple

Hey... you better stop laughing, okay?

We're artists renowned for our art.

Our art is priceless.

Sure, if you say so!

Both of you do look cute.

I'm going in now... don't want to miss your entry.

Dude, what's down there?

Where?

Dude!

Hail the Goddess of the lions Long live your reign Long live your reign

Always be praised

If I was the lion of your temple That's our cue.

All the best, duudel I would take you on my back and through the jungle I would be blessed by you every day If I was the lion of your temple If I was the lion of your temple If I was the lion of your temple If I was the lion of your temple

If I was the peacock in your garden

If I was the peacock in your garden

If I was the peacock in your garden

The peacock in your garden, if I was the peacock in your garden.

If I was the peacock in your garden

Where the hell is Choocha?

If I was the peacock in your garden


The entire amount for what?

Last time he didn't perform.

Today you ruined the costume.

Won't I take it out of your money?

What about the trouble I went through?

By God, Pradhan, I've seen enough swindlers but you beat them all.

You're taking advantage of our innocence, aren't you?

Innocence, my foot!

Hello... Lali...

We didn't get as much as we expected...

I'll try and figure some other way, but I suggest you push a little harder too.

Dear God, I don't know what's going to happen today... or how it will finally unfold...

I leave it all up to you.

Please, get us through.

You know what's best for us.

Just get us out of this mess, please!


Brother, the dopehead ran away with the petrol tank.

Thank you sir, which way did he go?

No man, I don't eat non-veg food.

Where is he?


Bloody dopehead, I won't spare you today!

Why are you after my motorcycle?

Whoa, take it easy. What have I done?

This fuel tank is from your aircraft, is it?

What have I done?

If it's not mine, is it yours?

On your feet, you jerk!

Time to take you to the cops.

Then we will know whose tank it is!

Fine, let's go. You think I'm afraid?

I'm not a loser.

I can buy the cops at the snap of my fingers.

My pockets are overflowing with money.

Look at this take a good look...

What?!

Never seen so much money in one go, have you?

Dumbstruck aren't you?

How come you have all this money?

Remember I had told you... my money is gathering dust.

I have 12 shops in Gandhinagar... all leased out.

I even file my income tax returns.

All my wealth is white... only my deeds are black.

What will you do with this money?

I'll make paper boats and leave them in the sewer... you've got a problem?

What if I double your money in a few hours?

What do you say?

Sardarji... are you high on something too?

Shut up! Or I'll slap you hard!

I'm not taking your money for nothing... you can have my motorcycle as collateral.

Alrlght, yoou can hha. Vye lt.

Keep your motorcycle too.

Meet me at the temple near the river after 4 pm.

To hell with double.

Bring back what you take.

Not like I can take all this with me when I die.

Here you go.

And don't forget the petrol tank.

Guess what, I found some more...

keep this as well.

Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants... get under a blanket and hide Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants... get under a blanket and hide fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk We're fortunate we're bums. We've got dreams in our eyes.

Every dream is worth a hundred billion, studded with diamonds and pearls In the durbars of Delhi, there are many who think they're princes.

One look at us and they wet the ground they stand on.

We eat, we forget, we hit and we run. Out of our way!

Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants get under a blanket and hide Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants get under a blanket and hide fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk Booze, weed, grass just one hit Out comes the smoke and all the trouble are gone Kneel before God, ring the temple bell

1, 2, 3, 4, I want kisses over and over

5, 6, 7, 8, at night we'll go to India Gate Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants get under a blanket and hide Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants get under a blanket and hide

Hello Zafar we won the jackpot!

Lmpressive.

You all are bunch of scoundrels, including your coach.

Managed 2.5 million in one day!

You sure you haven't printed these notes yourself?

Madam, you can take your own time and check each one!

Smartass!

One sniff and I'll know which ones are fake.

Get it?

I had some other plans for you.

I thought I'd give you a hard time.

Get you to do some more work...

Nevermind.

Dismissed!

Yes what's the matter?

Why are you still here?

Waiting for my wedding?

Madam, go ahead, give us a hard time get more work done...

It's not like we are waiting to click pictures with you.

This covers the payment for the job done.

What say we do this again?

What?

Here's 700,000 advance... got any more pills?

Once a scoundrel, always a scoundrel!

What do you say coach?

I say, go for it.

Really?

Where will you sell them?

Just give us the stuff. We'll figure how and where to set up shop.

Brilliant!

I'll make sure I'm there for your opening night.

I'll give pills for a million. Make the most of it.


Let's go.

Loafers, 0 Loafers, your luck is so messed up Even your shoes are in tatters Your luck is so messed up.


Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants Hello Zafar we won the jackpot!

Neetu, bring everyone over to the police station.

What?

What happened that day sardarji?

Sir, we were afraid you wouldn't believe us.

We only wanted to return the money and leave.

What if I still don't believe you?

Sir...

Zafar is as innocent as a cow... an artist.

Lali here... is a saint.

Every bad deed possible we've had our hand in it.

Sir, we tried selling those pills because we needed money.

Never realised that we were selling poison.

It was fortunate that you raided the party... and those pills went down the gutter instead of somebody's blood-stream.

Sir... please think about Zafar's plan.

You'll get what you want and we'll be even with Bholi.

If you... still feel...

Okay.

She won't refuse your offer.

She's always looking for scapegoats like you.

To sell her stuff.

It's great if her stuff sells... and if it's confiscated... she has her moles in the police department... who give her stuff back to her.

But it's guys like you who get mired in her plans.

Make sure, she doesn't suspect you.

Thank you, sir.

We won't give up the money... moreover we deserve a reward... and to be part of the Republic day parade.

Hello... May day... May day... Ready!

Sir, what if you get delayed?

What if your binoculars are hazy or car tyre is punctured... or your mother calls you back home.

Or what if a traffic cop stops you...

Let there be a country of loafers and make me the President.

Sing with me now, brothers and sisters.

1,2,3,4, Long 1ive the Loafers Partyll

5, 67, 8, Death to all the smarty pants Loafers, wasters, bums, A ghost ran away with your underpants


Hunny I love you too!

We have won the lottery!

The locks have all opened, we have won the lottery Thank you God, we have won the lottery We have got all we desired we have won the lottery Happy days are here, we have won the lottery We have to make a noise How can we not make a noise?

Let the party begin Say it loud, we have won the lottery Throw your hands up in the air now, we have won the lottery Like you just don't care now, we have won the lottery Everybody sing along now, we have won the lottery Sing it LO TT ERY, we have won the lottery

Who doesn't understand me Who thought I was no one special It is their mistake My life is a hit My future is fit Everything is cool We have to make a noise How can we not make a noise?

Let the party begin Say it loud, we have won the lottery Throw your hands up in the air now, we have won the lottery Like you just don't care now, we have won the lottery Everybody sing along now, we have won the lottery Sing it LO TT ERY, we have won the lottery

Forget the profanities of the world Forget the profanities of the world Talk of love Talk of love, my love I will die of happiness I will die of happiness If you love me for even a moment If you love me for even a moment, my friend Whose job is to love To put colour in life That heart is a dude Live and let live In this world This is our attitude We have to make a noise How can we not make a noise?

Let the party begin Say it loud, we have won the lottery Throw your hands up in the air now, we have won the lottery Like you just don't care now, we have won the lottery Everybody sing along now, we have won the lottery Sing it LO TT ERY, we have won the lottery