Garfield (2004) Script

[Snoring]

[Ringing] Huh?

What the... Aw.

Oh...

[Groans]

I hate Mondays.

[Yawning]

Pooky, cover me. I'm goin' in.

Alley... oop.!

B-b-b-b-b-bah, ha!

[Singsong] Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up.

You can stop dreaming about me because I'm here.

Now, just wake up. You've got work to do.

You're not just my owner, you're my primary caregiver.

Now be a... Not now, Garfield.

Get... A-Ah... Just... All right.

Cut the sweet stuff. Easy now. Just...

Trying to cuddle with me, huh?

Trying to avoid your duties, huh?

Well, that just ain't gonna... fly!

It isn't gonna work with m... me.

See, I'm getting my exercise, doin' my job.

Just one quick cannonball!

Oh! Morning.

Garfield!

?? [Jon Singing]

Okay! I think you're clean enough now.

H-H-Hot.! Hot.! Hot.! Got your towel right here.

Garfield.! No.!

[Beeps]

It's liver flavored. Mm! Delicious.

[Gags]

Mm. Mm!

Mm!

Oh! Oh, liver!

[Spitting] Well, actually, it's liver flavored.

[Sighs] That was a good breakfast.

Now I think I'll just fall off the "Catkin's" diet... and get myself a little high-fat chaser.

Mmm.

Garfield, look, the milk truck. Oh, attaboy, Nermal.

The milk truck comes every day. Yeah, but maybe not today.

Maybe it's changing routes. Maybe this'll be the last we'll ever see of it.

Come on. It's just across the street. We're cats. We like milk.

Let's go for it. No.

But, you... - But nothin'.

I don't leave the cul-de-sac for anything.

Out there, it's a hornet's nest of trouble.

Bad things happen out there. So I don't go out there.

Besides, I've found if you wait long enough... everything comes to you.

[Nermal]? Here come the milkman Here come the milkman?

? He got his shoes on, he got his milk pan?? Hey, Nermal... let's play astronaut again today.

Yeah? Yeah, I love that game.

You're such a brave little astronaut.

All right. Prepare tojump into your spaceship, Commander Nermal.

But wh-wh-what about the milk?

Who needs milk when you can be in outer space? Ah.

You got a secret mission today. Yeah?

You'll be exploring the Milky Way. Okay.

I get the chills when you jump in your little spacecraft.

The nation thanks you. Prepare to blast off.

I'm ready to go, friend. Three, two, one.

Whoa! Now I feel like it.

Bon voyage.

Look at me go.! Whoo-hoo.!

[Garfield] Don't look down.! I'm an eagle flying.!

[Garfield] Come to papa, baby.

I can see everything up here. I can see my house.

[Burps] Got milk?

I can see the whole neighborhood.

Well, that's nice. That's very nice. Hey, there's another milk truck.

Ooh.! And that is even nicer.

I can see... Whoa! Mission accomplished, Nermal.

Whoa.! Whoa, Garfield, do it again.

Where did everybody go?

You're on the wrong side of the street, fat cat. Beat it!

And you, Luca, the wrong side of the evolutionary curve.

Okay, that's it.

You're gonna get it good today. I make a point to get it good every day.

The real question, Luca, is how shall I outwit you this time?

What? Shall I baffle you with simple math?

I know how to spell. Or should I distract you with something shiny?

Now you're making fun of me. I hope so. You're no fun to look at.

You'll never get the best of me! Aaah!

I think I just did. Not the ducks again!

Jump back! And kiss myself.

Oooh!

If I ever get off this chain, you're goin' down.

Everybody back up! I don't know how wild this thing is gonna get.

I love the smell of cinnamon-apple in the morning.

[Sniffs] It smells like... victory.

[Luca] Oooh! I hate this fat cat.

So much time, and so little I need to do.

[Squeaking]

Mouse!

No thanks, I'm full.

Get him, Garfield!

Get him, Jon!

[Jon Yelling] [Objects Crashing]

Oh, it's always gotta be smashing and crashing.

Nobody poisons anymore.

Aha.!

Whoa... [Groans]

There's my ball!

What good is a cat that can't chase a mouse?

I don't do the chase thing.

All right, I'll handle this.

I know you don't hear me, but can't you just listen?

[Panting]

Louis, what are you doing in the house when Jon's home?

Sorry, Garfield, man. I couldn't help it.

Look, when he sees you, he expects more from me. Don't you get that?

Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies. I'm trying to maintain.

You understand? Sure. As long as you understand I have to eat you.

Aw!

[Garfield Swallows]

Mm. Mmm.

[Slurping]

Mm! Mmm! Oh, good boy.

See, I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it.

You are the best cat a guy could have. Mmm.

[Chuckles] Mm.! Mm.!

Mmm. M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mm.

Have you tasted yourself lately?

Hey, it wasn't exactly the first-class lounge in there for me either.

Get yourself lost. Take a powder for a couple days, get a haircut and grow a beard.

Cool. I owe you one, "G."

I got a question for you. Do you love your cat?

Finally, back on my regular schedule.

You're gonna make sure he has nothing but Kibbly Kat food.

Isn't that right, Persnikitty?

That cat's puss is everywhere... TV, newspapers, T-shirts.

Who would want that kind of exposure?

[Door Opens]

Hey, buddy. Yeah, cut the small talk. What's in the bag?

Remember, be happy.

I'm happy when I'm with you, you delicate mélange... of tomato paste, ricotta cheese, ground meat and pasta!

Garfield, don't even think about it.

That's my food.

I may just nibble.

Thanks, Happy. And thank you for joining us.

I'm Christopher Mello. Remember...

Be happy.

[Bell Rings] Okay, cut. Good.

[Sneezing] [Man] We're clear.

Give me the Benadryl. Give me the Benadryl.

Yeah! Yeah.

Yeah! Yeah.

Damned cat allergies.

[Sneezes]

Any word from the network yet?

Uh, no, but they're looking for a dog act on Good Day, New York.

Dog act! Story of my life.

Looking for a dog, and I'm stuck with a cat.

I thought the segment went quite well.

[Whiny Voice] "I thought the segment went quite well."

Of course it went well, you toad!

The 50 housewives who saw it, loved it.

This is WalterJ. Chapman reporting live from The Hague.

Oh, please, what a know-it-all!

...were met with angry crowds...

And everybody always said I was the handsome one.

I was the smart one. And I was born first.

But there you are "live from The Hague"... and here I am working with this sack of dander on a dead-end regional morning show.

Back to you, Dan.

Back to you, Dan.

Garfield!

[Moaning] Did you eat all four boxes of lasagna?

[Hiccups] It's not my fault. They started it.

What am I gonna do with you?

Love me. Feed me. Never leave me.

Come on. Let's go for a ride to someplace you love... that always leaves you feeling pampered and refreshed.

Huh? Oh, I know... Chuck E. Cheese.

[Garfield] Thank you.

No? Wendy's? Taco Kitty? No?

Well, I'm stumped. Maybe Olive Garden for you?

Hmm. The only time I ever leave my cul-de-sac is when Jon takes me to the vet... which he's been doing a lot recently, and it appears to have nothing to do with me.

Jon must want to go for his own reason.

Well, there's nothing wrong with Garfield.

He's just a happy, fat, lazy cat.

No need for a second opinion.

Well, I worry about him. I know you do.

Ooh! [Giggles]

You know, you care about him more than any owner I've ever known.

"Him" has a name. Is this an H.M.O.?

Let's get Garfield in for his dip. I wanna talk to you in private.

Mm. Oh! She's so beautiful.

Uh, Mr. Pathetic, you've had a crush on her since high school.

Would you please ask her out so she can reject you, and we can get on with my life?

I have to ask her out. [Groans]

Wish me luck. Okay, go get 'em, big tiger.

You the man. You the fella. You the boss.

You preach to her. Show her how the cow eats the cabbage... you hopeless loser.

Betty, today, why don't you start me off with a Swedish massage... a manicure and a pedicure, okay?

Seaweed wrap, loofah... belly rub, uh... tail waxing and then crack my toes to finish.

Jon, there's something important I need to ask you.

Something that I wouldn't ask most guys who come in here.

Wait, no. I think I know where this is going.

You do? I do.

Liz, I've wanted to ask you the same thing for a very long time.

Are you sure that we're talking about the same thing? Absolutely.

Yeah, uh, I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life.

Liz, I am ready to take a chance.

I am ready for... [Yips]

[Laughs] Thank you.

A dog! [Laughs]

A dog. I'm ready for a dog.

[Laughs] Hi.

Hey, I think he likes you. Hi. Yeah.

[Whines] Hi.

[Chuckles] He's a frisky... frisky little fella, isn't he?

His name's Odie, and he's not gonna make it... if he has to live his life in a cage.

He needs to be loved.

[Hair Dryer Blowing]

Well, thank you. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

No, maybe not in my neighborhood. [Whining]

Hey, Boomer, I really gotta run.

Gotta fly, everybody. Really, please, stay behind the security fences.

So great of you to come out to see me... but I've got somebody waiting for me, very devoted, almost crippled.

[Meowing] No, please, don't cry.

I know what it's like to be unloved. Well, you do.

I'll try to come back and visit, and if I don't, I'll try to write.

Bye-bye. Does anybody know this guy?

Bye-bye, everybody. Garfield is leaving the building.

Jon, you know you don't have to do this if you don't want to.

No. No, it's okay.

Some part of me always wanted to know what it'd be like... to have a pet that actually wants to play with you.

[Laughs] You're a good friend.

One question... Am I still gorgeous? [Gasps]

Jon, I think we got a little problem here.

[Whining] Uh, Jon...

I can help the transition go smoothly.

[Garfield] Jon, it's in my seat. Jon.!

We could all go out together. Park, dog shows, Jon.! Uh, Jon?

Stuff like that. Uh, Jonny boy?

W-Wait a minute. Are... Are you... asking me out?

Oh, Jonny boy, the time has come to get a car alarm.

You're not gonna believe it. A mongrel mutt has broken into your car!

Garfield, this is Odie. He's coming home with us.

Whoa! You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog?

Oh, that's bad even for you. Oh, you're so sad!

Oh, no, no, no. We're not bringing a dog home with us.

Hey, I ride shotgun!

What are you looking at, tick boy?

[Garfield] Jon, it's not too late.

Quickly, turn around... before he finds out where we live.!

[Crying]

Please take this trouser sniffer back.!

Please. Come on, Odie. Let's go.

This is your new home.

[Crying]

Come on, buddy.

Jon, you had me, a chick magnet... and now you've got a tick magnet.

[Sniffling]

Garfield, Jon brought a dog home.

I am aware, Nermal. Why would he do a thing like that?

Gee, I don't know, Nermal.

It just seems like a weird thing to do... bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.

Can we drop it? I mean, it's no big... deal.

It's... just a splattered bug on the windshield of my life.

A bug?

A dim-witted, smelly, goofy... [Sighs]

Splattered bug that I will deal with appropriately and enthusiastically.

Come on. As you can see, I'm stillJon's favorite.

See ya later, Garfield. Good luck with the bug thing!

Come on.

[Laughs] This is payback for the liver thing, isn't it?

Payback. [Laughs] He's a nut.

This is your new home, Odie. That's my office over there.

And, uh, the TV over there.

And, uh, the kitchen. Hm.

You wanna go see it? Okay, go see the house. Go see it.

Why don't you draw him a map?

Okay, I've gotta... remain calm, that's all.

Jon's a cat guy, not a dog guy.

This'll last a week, maybe 10 days. Tops.

Boy, this puppy is stupid gone wild!

Nah, this is just a bad dream. I'm gonna close my eyes and when I open them... everything will be back to normal.

[Panting] Ah! That's not normal.

Not close. Oh, great.

Dog cooties. Somebody inoculate me, please.

[Thuds] [Shudders]

This is a nightmare. L...

I just need a little quality time with man's real best friend... television.

[Chuckles]

[Sputters] No, no, no. No, no. No.

Hey, new guy, let me hip you to the rules, okay?

Number one... that's my chair, all right?

I even see you raise a leg, and it's on, it's go time, pal.

Very well.

[Smack] [Whines]

Yeah, I think I just may have a mental advantage on this guy.

Leave me alone. I'm not kidding, Yodel Odie.

Pop a worm pill and hit the road. I'm busy.

You wanna play? Fine. You can be my new astronaut.

Go jump in the pail, and we'll shoot you into outer space.

Come on. It's real simple. Here, I'll even throw your ball in there.

Follow the ball, andjump in the pail.

Come on, Odie. Just like this.

Come on over here and just jump right into the pail, and help me.

Come on. No. Just in here like this.

Uh-oh.! Don't touch that.!

Aaah!

Oh, no.!

Whoa!

Aaah.!

Oh, no!

Houston, we have a problem.

Odie, get off the pail.

Would you get off the pail, please?

Okay, time for a new game.

It's called "my claw in your butt"game.

Come here! Get back here!

Come on! I'll just use my left claw.

If my legs were longer, I'd have caught you by now. Come here.

Just wait for one second.

Slow... down.

[Laughs] Ahhh... -

Well, well, well. I've got you now, fat cat.

Hey, Luca, is that a new chain you're wearin', fella?

Looks good on ya. You look great. You been working out?

Oh, I've been waiting years for this.

Would that be regular years or dog years? [Growls]

[Cowering] [Barks]

What the... Get away from me, pip-squeak.

Uh, Luca, this is Odie. Odie, Luca.

Luca, do me a favor and eat him for me, would you, please?

[Girl Cat] Garfield, are you all right? I think so.

Luca's about to have Odie for lunch.

If it wasn't for Odie, you'd be Luca's chew toy.

[Nermal] Yeah, he saved your life.

Odie's a hero! Why? Because I wasn't ripped to shreds?

No, Odie's an imbecile until further notice.

[Jon Gurgling]

Hey, moondust... if I were you, I'd grab a nice piece of carpet.

Jon doesn't let me sleep up top. Ever.

[Sighs]

Odie... You wanna sleep in the bed?

Okay.

Wha...

Hey, buddy. Good boy. Who's a good boy, huh?

You want to sleep on the bed tonight?

[Jon In High Voice] Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

I think I'm going to blow cat-chow chunks.

Good night, Odie. Good night, Garfield.

Great. Wish me luck with the nightmares.

Another day ruined.

Oh, you little suck-up. Oh!

?? [Singing]

Whoa! Whoa, baby.

No. Down. Down, dumb dog.

What part of"no" don't you understand?

The push off the chair? Off! I don't want to play.

Oh! Look. What am I supposed to say?

"Thanks for saving my hide with Luca?"

Okay, thanks for saving my hide with Luca. Get off!

Where was I? Right here. I was right here.

Oh! [Groans]

That was a cheap shot.

Hit a guy when he's not looking? Okay.

Oh, excuse me. L-I think you may have forgotten something.

I saw this and I thought, pretty sure it was your...

Oh, I love to dish it out. [Laughs]

?? [Continues] Watch out. You see, you can't touch this.

Come on. Uh-huh.

That's right. Don't sneak up on me, baby.

Oh, come on with that.

Get that weak stuff outta here.

Is that butt broken?

No, it's something like this here.

Can you do this?

Uh, shouldn't those hips be in the shop? Walk this way, please.

I'm-a walking the dog.

Well, step it up a little bit. Something like this.

Ho, look at this. Watch out for this thing.

It could go. Uh-huh.

You probably should've practiced in the garage... before you stepped up to someone of my level.

Back up. Come on.

Fly with me. Maybe something a little bit more challenging.

Hey! How 'bout this? Out the front door.

Take it outside.!

Look who's here on the porch.

I'm walking the porch. I'm holding a torch. I'm ready to scorch.

Uh-huh. That's fancy footwork.

Hey! Look. Garfield's dancing with Odie.

They're like buddies now!

What's the matter? Oh, my God! Odie, what are you doing here?

I was doing a solo dance, and a creepy dog comes up next to me?

Did you guys see that? Thank you, fellas. Thank you.

Did you guys see that? Thank you, fellas. Thank you.

Uh-oh. Here's more trouble.

Look at the goony look on his face.

Come on, buddy. Come here. Come on. Taking him back to the vet?

Time for our date with Liz. Takin'him back to the kennel, right?

Yeah? Are you putting him up for adoption?

Hey, Garfield, Jon's taking Odie on his date with Liz... and he's leaving you behind. I know, Nermal.

[Nermal] They're off on an adventure and you're still here.

And your point is?

Well, that's gotta feel bad... being left byJon while he takes Odie out.

It's like you're not his favorite anymore.

Hey, what do you say we play brain surgeon?

Would you go get my power tools? [Groans]

This is so sad.

Jon has completely lost his mind.

Doesn't realize how important I am to him.

I need to be so very understanding of him... at this difficult time.

Hey, wait up! Wait up for me! You forgot me!

Slow down! Please slow down! I'm right back here!

Waa... oh! I think I pulled a hamstring.

All right. It's okay. I'm on. I'm on. Relax.

Oh, my poor nose.

[Man On P.A.] So, if you own Marie, please come and claim her.

[Man On P.A.] So, if you own Marie, please come and claim her.

Thank you very much.

Now, before the show starts, go over to the snack section on the south lawn... and get those goodies.

We have things there that we're sure...

[Groans] Yeah, go on ahead. Uh...

I'll catch up with ya. It's probably just a mild concussion... or... or a skull fracture.

Maybe I'll get a CATscan.

A CAT scan!

[Man On P.A.] I'd like to ask thejudges now... if they would please take their positions for the viewings.

Oh, watch your step there. [Laughs]

[Applause]

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the dog show.

Well, what if I compromise a little?

How 'bout I do the rolling around with the yarn ball thing?

And I'll purr. I'll purr like a Ferrari. Or make that a Jaguar.

I won't climb drapes though. That's more than you get from some dumb dog.

Oops. Dogs. Uh-oh.

Oh, what? You're all gonna take it personally? Down, boy. Sit.

Stay! [Garfield] Now, I'm gonna die.

Oh, now I really am gonna die.!

Excuse me. Can I get through here?

[Clamoring] No one under this tarp. Ah.! That's my ear.!

[Man On P.A.] Owners, maintain control of your dogs.

People, control those animals now.!

Music! Music, you idiot!

?? [Dance]

Yeah, play the music. [Sighs]

[Garfield] That's my bad knee. Stop it. All right.!

Feets, don't fail me now.! [Barking]

[Man On P.A.] I apologize for this. Please excuse this outburst.

This is highly irregular. Odie! Odie! [Whistles]

Odie.! Odie, come on. Come on, buddy. Come on back.

Odie.! Odie, you want a treat? Huh? Buddy?

?? [Continues]

Okay. All right. I need a ride.

I'm a cat in trouble. I'm hitching a ride in your muumuu.

Ooh! Come on! Let's move!

[Barking] Go.! Let's move.! Dig.! Dig.! Hyah.! Hyah.!

Come on, Pinkie. Move it out.! Oh.! Sorry. Sorry.

Move.! Move.! Move, Pinkie.! Move, Pinkie.! Move.!

[Man On P.A.] We certainly have a new star in the arena.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is amazing.!

[Happy] Talented little fella, huh?

Hyah, Pinkie! Hyah! They're gaining on us, Pinkie!

A cat's life is at stake. Whoa.!

Thanks for the ride.

Excuse me, ma'am. Please call 911.

[Crying] Please.!

This is exactly what I deserve anyway.

I promise if I survive, I'll never compete with a dog again.

Okay.! You got me.!

But before I say good-bye... Oh, isn't this the final irony?

Look who's here to witness this. The mailman!

You're so stupid.

?? [Continues]

Whoo! Yeah!

Whoo. Whoo-hoo.

?? [Ends]

[Laughs] Yes!

Odie, come here. That's a good boy. Oh, hi.

[Man On P.A.] Ladies and gentlemen, Happy Chapman.

[Laughs] That is one talented dog!

[Cheering]

You know, this is exactly the kind of dog... that could have a future in television.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Chapman, but Odie's just my pet.

And that's... that's all I really want him to be.

You're kidding. No.

Okay. Well, this is for you.

And, uh... this is for you if you happen to change your mind.

You just ring me up. You give..."Hello? Hello?

I changed my mind. I wanna be a star."

Okay. Okay!

Okay. Let's hear it for Odie!

[Man On P.A.] What a sensational ending to a rather unconventional show.!

Smile. Our winner today... a fabulous dancing puppy called Odie.!

...the cul-de-sac. Never leave the cul-de-sac. Never leave the cul-de-sac.

N-Never leave the cul-de-sac. Never leave the cul-de-sac.

Never leave the cul-de-sac. Never leave the cul-de...

[Groans] I'm h-home.

[Jon] I had fun today. Thank you. [Liz] Yeah, me too.

Would you like to come in?

Uh, not today. I knew that.

I'm sorry. Jon, I wanna come over, just not today.

I have to cover for another vet.

Oh! Really?

How's Sunday?

Sunday is... Sunday's great. S-Sunday's good. Sunday.

[Laughs] Okay.

So, I'll...

I'll see you Sunday. Sunday.

Sunday. [Laughs]

Why? Why has this happened?

I was the one. It was all about me.

Not about some stupid, sniveling, smelly... high-maintenance disco dog.

Ahh!

Oh, no.

[Gasps]

[Creaking]

Huh? Oh...

?? [Jon Singing]

You just can't do this, Jon. He's trying to tear us apart. Don't you see that?

You know me. I'm too lazy to try to destroy your house.

I was provoked, pushed, prodded, driven mad.

You can't kick me out of my own house like I'm some kind of animal!

Oh, come on, Jon. Jon!

Oh, come on, Jon. Jon!

You know I'm scared of the dark.

Yeah, that's a good boy. Who's a good boy?

? Used to haveJon to myself?

? Day or night There was no one else?

? From dawn to dusk my meals would come?

? I'd lounge about in my home?

? But now I'm out in the cold of night?

? All alone till the dawn's first light?

? I'm in a new dog state of mind?

? Used to think I had a home?

? A special place to call my own?

? But now the dog's in and I'm out?

? I've got noJon I've got no clout?

?? [Wailing]

? I'm in a new dog state of mind??

[Crying]

Leave me alone. You've won.

You're inside with him, and I'm out here all by myself.


Odie? You came out here to be with me?

I'm touched.

And you must be touched in the head. [Clicks]

?? [Garfield Singing]

See you in the morning, little fella. [Barks]

You know, a puppy needs a little tough love every now and then.

I think it builds character.

Hello, Pooky. Miss me?

You know what? I'm gonna make it up to Odie tomorrow.

I'm going to teach him how to drink out of the toilet.

[Whining] [Girl Cat] Poor Odie.

That cat is such a pig. Garfield's a pig?

You never put the dog out at night.

Why not?

Because dogs... run away.

[Scooter Approaching]

[Barking]

[Barking]

[Barking]

[Siren Wailing]


[Whines]

[Snoring]

Sure, Jon, I'll eat all your lasagna for you.

[Woman] Oh, look. What do we have here?

You're a lost dog.

[Strains]

Well, we can fix that.

[Chuckles]

Oh, do I feel good this morning.

I slept like a fat cat.

Hey, tall, dark and human, what's for breakfast?

Odie! Where are you, boy?

Well, relax. Uh, I think he was going to camp out.

Odie? Well, he probably had a sleepover at Luca's, I think.

Odie! Odie?

Hm. Well, maybe he's fetching the paper for the neighbors.

Where is that silly dog?

I can't go on like this anymore, Wendell.

I've got to get a dog.

I think that's a lovely idea. [Chuckles]

I know you've been sad and lonely since the divorce, and I've tried to be a friend...

Not for me, you imbecile. For the act.

If I could get my hands on a really talented dog... wouldn't WalterJ. Just choke on his Emmy?

Like Odie? Yeah.

Yeah, now he was good.

Oh, yeah. You know, he was kinda dopey-looking and spry.

And... Lost!

[Happy] Hmm?

Hi, it's Jon. I was just calling to see if Odie's been over there.

My name is Jon Arbuckle, and, um, I can't find my dog.

I've looked all around the neighborhood, and I can't find him.

I saw him last night, but I haven't seen him this morning.

And, uh, if you see him, give me a call, please.

Uh, I was calling to see if you'd seen Odie? Um, I think he's run away.

I was giving him a bath, and I forgot to put his collar back on.

You know, 'cause Garfield hates his collar.

He's about 15 pounds. He's brownish yellow with brown floppy ears.

[Doorbell Rings] Would you mind getting that?

Um, I'm offering a reward.

Yeah, that's right. Okay, and he answers to the name of...

Hi. Hi. [Chuckles]

I'd say the refrigerator is unguarded.

Wh... What are you doing here?

We're having dinner, remember?

Right! R... Dinner.

Th-The two of us. Tonight. Of course.

Shall I come in? Yeah!

Yeah. Come on in.

Uh, you know, uh, Liz, I have a confession.

Uh, uh, it's not really a confession. More of an admission.

It's a... You know what it is? It's like a, uh...

It's like a declaration. I have a... a... d...

I love it when you do that.

Do what? You know, trip over yourself.

It's cute.

It's one of the reasons I had a crush on you in high school.

You had a crush on me?

Yeah. I thought you were really cute, decent.

Not like all those other jerks.

I don't believe it. L... I had a crush on you too.

Isn't that funny? Yeah.

Hilarious.

So, um, what's your confession/ admission/declaration?

Actually, um...

I forgot about our dinner. [Chuckles] Yeah.

[Laughs] Oh, that's okay. You know, I can... I can go.

No. No, I'm... I'm glad you're here.

Let me just, uh, get my jacket, and then we'll go.

Okay, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?

What... What am I gonna do? I've waited for this night my entire life.

If you tell her the truth, you'll feel much better.

And you won't have to see her anymore.

It's kinda creepy having a vet around the house anyway.

I can't just go out and pretend like nothing's happened, can I?

Well, I sure could. The one thing you can't do is tell her the dog's gone.

I gotta tell her. No.

I've gotta tell her. No. That's not what I said.

Schmuck.

Liz, uh, we can't go out tonight.

Why not? Odie's run away.

What? He got out last night. I feel terrible.

I called the pound. I put up posters.

I looked everywhere, but I can't find him.

Why didn't you just tell me? I guess I figured... he was the only reason you were spending time with me.

Come on. No, I'm serious. I mean, I thought...

No, I mean, come on. Let's go find him.

O-Oh.

Ayayayayay.

How can this dog be such a problem when he's not even here anymore?

Well, I'm not gonna worry about him.

I believe you've found my dog.

He answers to "Odie." "Odie"?

Family name.

Oh! Odie! Oh, come on.

There you are. Oh!

[Laughs] Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I can live again now.

How could I ever repay you?

An autograph would be splendid.

Then splendid it shall be.

?? [TVTheme] [Garfield] Hm.

Uh, no. [Man] Come on, boy.

[Groans]

[Doorbell Rings] [Barks]

[Sighs] Hmm...

Ooh.

This is ridiculous.

Hey, what are you lookin' at? Nothin'. Just lookin' for some company.

[Nermal] Keep walking, creepo.

What's going on? We know how much you hated Odie.

We know how much you wanted him gone. Wait a minute.

All I wanted was to sleep in my own bed.

And to do it, you cast Odie out into the cold, cruel world?

We saw how you locked Odie outside last night.

Oh, I don't believe you guys. I didn't know he was gonna run away.

He's a dumb dog. No offense, Luca.

Uh, what? You can't blame me for that.

Any one of us could be next. Yeah.

There's no room for anybody else in Garfield's world.

Huh? Oh, that's a little dramatic.

Well, I may have been a little tough about protecting my turf... but, uh, I don't hate the guy.

I understand Happy has a big surprise for us.

A special treat. What have you got for us, Hap?

Ah, guten Morgen, Chris.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have been working with a very special new friend... and I would like to introduce him to all of you.

Odieschnitzel!

Lookee here! It's Odie!

And he's safe and sound.

Although, he seems to have found an alternative lifestyle.

He still can't dance.

Well, this gets me off the hook with Jon and the gang.

Now I'm gonna be the hero. [Mello] That's one talented dog.

Oh, I'm glad you think so, Chris, because I have a little announcement to make.

Old Happy Chapman and Odieschnitzel... are going to be climbing aboard that New Amsterdam Limited at 3:00 p. M... bound to New York City, where we have the opportunity... to be regular contributors on Good Day, New York.

Huh? That's his last name... Schnitzel?

Thank you for all your help yesterday. You were... You were great.

Jon, Odie's on TV, and he's wearing lederhosen.

L-I'm sorry. Garfield, not now.

Um, I upped the reward to, um, $200.

And, uh, I'm going to put up some more posters tomorrow.

He's clog dancing, I think, wearing lederhosen.

I'm sorry. Garfield, not now.

Oh, you're gonna miss it. I'm sorry, Liz. I'll call you later.

Garfield's being... Garfield.

Do I have to bark like Lassie?

Come on. Humor me, would ya?

Arf! Arf! Arf! Quickly!

While we're young. Today! Let's go!

[Both] Be happy.

Oh, you're gonna miss this. He's the small one. The small one in the guy's hand.

[Garfield Groans]

Garfield, I'm not in the mood.

You know, it's never good when you turn off my TV.

And this may be the worst ever.

[Wendell] Odie's not ready.

H-He's months of positive reinforcement away from consistently performing.

Happy, you promised you'd never use that.

I mean, that collar is inhumane.

This collar... is the dog's future.

Do you have a problem with that?

No. No.

Now we'll see how smart you really are.

Happy Chapman. Happy Chapman. Happy Chapman.

Not now, Garfield.

Jon, you're denser than ever.

[Door Opens] I gotta think outside the box here.

[Door Closes] Hey, the box!

Wait a second.

My box... My box had something on it.

Let's see. AppleJacks. Frosted Flakes. Cocoa Puffs.

Kibbly Kat. Yes, there it is.

Telegraph Tower. That's where they make The Happy Chapman Show.

Yeah. But how far away can that be?

Maybe... Hmm, a paw?

Apaw and a half maybe. This is a done deal. I can do this.

[Panting] No!

Can't do this. Reached physical limits.

Shouldn't have tried it without snacks.

Must go back and reload.

[Applause] Jenny, how are you? Welcome to the show.

Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!

[Applause] Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm. [Burps]

Ah, and that's the sign that the tank is full.

I can do this. Beyond this intersection is just another intersection.

And another and another.

On the other hand, I wonder if there's any meat loafleft in the fridge.

No. Now's not the time for a plate of meat loaf.

Now's the time for a plate of courage.

Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield has left the cul-de-sac.

? He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored?

? He has...?? [Honking]

[Garfield] Now that's more my style.

Oh, taxi.

[Garfield] Step on it, will you, driver?

No, Odie's not a hound dog. Yes, I'm sure.

No, I don't want another dog.

Thanks anyway. [Phone Beeps]

Garfield, lunchtime.

I made your favorite... lasagna.

Garfield!

Garfield!

Garfield, where are you?

Can anyone direct me to the pink building... that's shown on the back of the Kibbly Kat box?

Uh, it's the one right by the blue-and-orange tree.

Well, this doesn't feel pink building-ish.

[Clattering]

Hello? Now where you going? Oh, what is that?

[Garfield] Uh-oh, rats. [Rat] Come on! Come on!

Rats the size of rats. Come on, kids.

Is that big orange blob a cat?

Hey, now, why am I being surrounded here?

Some of my best friends are vermin. [Rats Chattering]

Finally, some meat. [Cheering]

Meat? No, it's not meat. I'm... They measured.

It's 100% body fat. No nutritional value whatsoever.

Hey, body fat's good with us.

[Rats] Mmm. Yea.! Yippee.! Uh... Uh... Louis.

Garfield.! Coming through. Hey, what's going on here? Oh, it's my friend.

Come on, Louis. I got 3,000 teeny mouths to feed.

Hey, back off. Garfield? What are you doing here?

Besides defending my life? Jon got a dog... dog got kidnapped by a TV star, I'm trying to rescue him.

Seems like you got yourself in a jam, huh?

I wish there was something I could do to help you out.

Louis, I think you and I have an account still, remember?

The macadamia nut cookies? I do love the macadamia.

Sorry, rat pack, this cat's with me. Aw, come on.

Y'all got to roll. Go ahead. Roll out.

Who wants to go to the Red Lobster alley?

[Laughs] Hey, maybe next time, little critters.

Good luck with the plague and rabies and everything.

Don't push your luck, fat cat.

Garfield, you can't just be wandering around the city.

There are dangers everywhere.

Potholes, subways, animal control.

You think you can get me to Telegraph Tower?

Two more cookies and you got a deal. But we gotta keep it on the down-low.

[Garfield] How down low do we have to go?

[Louis] Yo, Garfield, you with me?

Louis, this is a little bit lower than I expected.

If I didn't have a box over my head, I'd be humiliated.

Okay, hold up. All right. We're almost there.

Now, when I give you the signal, we gotta cross the street.

[Garfield] Way over there by the horizon? Come on, Garfield. Let's go.!

Wait up.! Wait up.!

[Gasps, Groans]

[Grunts]

Am I dead? Garfield, don't move!

Don't move? Not a problem.

[Louis] Just wait for the walk signal.

Oh, no, it's a stampede.! Stampede.!

If I can just get away from this herd. Garfield!

Garfield!

Garfield, where are you?

Garfield, get down from there, man.

No. I'm not coming down.

I'm happy to live the rest of my life up here. Thank you.

Liz! Liz!

What's wrong? Garfield's gone. I think he's run away too.

First Odie, and now Garfield. Liz, I am the worst pet owner on the planet.

Wait. What happened? I can't find him. You gotta help me.

I can't live without Garfield.

Let's start at the park.

Let's start at the park.

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Garfield, relax. Look. We're here.

We're here now. Curb service.

The Telegraph Tower in all its splendor.

[Garfield] It looks much smaller on the box.

You gotta go all the way up there? Good luck, playa.

I'll catch you later. I don't do the vertical thing.

Thanks a lot, partner. Oh, yeah. Hold up, "G."

What? Watch out for the po-po.

You know, five-oh? Control-oh. Huh?

Animal control, man. Oh, that po-po.

Keep it squeal. Hey, thanks, partner.

[Louis] Oink, oink.

I can't try the door. I couldn't handle another stampede.

Hey...

[Panting]

First thing Monday morning... [Breathing Heavily]

I'm gonna get to work on losing those last 20 pounds.

Okay, everything looks good out there.

Looks like we got ourselves a blockage.

[Beeping]

Hmm.

Guess we'll just... purge the system.

[Straining]

[Vent Clatters] Oh, pardon me.

That wasn't my stomach, was it?

[Air Blowing] Ah, there's a cooling breeze.

Ooh. Woah!

Woah.!

Whee! Aaah!

Aaah!

Oh, my poor nose.

[Liz] Jon, stop the car.

What? It's Odie.

Somebody found him. 52903 Euclid Street.

Let's go.

[Garfield] Odie.!

[Garfield] Odie.!

Ode.!

Ode-ster.!

Ode-man.

This rescue thing is exhausting.

When do heroes get to eat?

[Barks] Oh, my!

It's Odie.! [Barks]

O-O-O-O...

Odie. I found you.

I'm so sorry I got you into this mess.

Look. We kind of got off on the wrong paw.

But, come on. You can be really annoying sometimes.

And you don't give me enough space.

And you're a major-league suck-up.

But we have a common purpose. We shareJon.

Jon needs us even more.

And I kinda want you back home too.

So, stand back. [Grunting]

I almost got it.

Hurry up, Wendell. Fortune waits for no man.

Do you think he's ready for the audition?

[Happy] Well, why don't you see for yourself.

Come on, Odie. Showtime.

Now.

Ah. Good morning, New York.

I know you're gonna flip for Odie because he sure is flipping for you.

[Whirring] [Odie Yelps]

[Happy Laughing] Ride 'em, cowboy.

A shock collar? That's... That's inhumane. Tomorrow's science today.

Oh, gosh, hot doggy.

So, when does our train leave?

Oh. Two hours.

Tickets? Chop-chop.

Poor Odie. He faces a future of torture... neglect and degradation.

Hey, nobody gets to mistreat my dog like that except me.

Psst.! I'll be right behind you, little buddy.

[Whimpers]

Surf s up!

Gravity, do your thang!

Ah-ooh!

Ah-ooh.!

Woah! Housekeeping at 12:00!

Woah! You know...

I think I had a nightmare like this once.

Woah!

Once again, my life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna.

I said limo, not taxi. Do you know the difference?

Odie, here I come! Don't worry, fella.

I'll rescue you.! [Man] Halt.!

Gotcha.! Woah. Huh?

Well, what have we got here?

Looks like we got us a cat with no tags.

[Garfield] Hey, McGillicuddy, there's an animal felony... happening right there behind you.

I'm trying to do some rescue work here, pal.

[Dogs Barking] [Garfield In Carrier] Hey.!

Welcome to my world, Red. [Garfield] I'm gonna call somebody about this.

Newbie on the block. This is police brutality.

Here we go. I have tags. I just left them in my other fur.

[Garfield] This is abusive now. This is abusive.

In you go, big fella. [Garfield] Huh?

What is with the cage? Okay, lock 'er down.

Oh, now, this is insulting. You know I'm house-trained.

Gimme newspaper? Settle down, people.

I oughta give you a bunch of fives. Back about your business.

Rosa, I'm watching you. This is all a terrible mistake.

I was trying to save a friend... that's not very smart, needed my help.

I don't belong in here. I have an owner.

L-I'm not a stray.

Hi. I'm Jon Arbuckle. Hi.

Um, I think you have my dog Odie.

I think you're mistaken. No, I saw the flier. Odie's my dog.

No, he's Happy Chapman's dog.

Happy Chapman?

The gentleman with the cat on Channel 37.

He came and took Odie home.

Odie's the family name, you know?

Well, uh, good day. Wait. Wait.

Happy Chapman took Odie? You think he's got Garfield too?

L-I don't know. But we're gonna find out.

?? [Garfield: Hymn]

?? [Garfield: Hymn]

Ah, shut up.!

Hey, save it for talent night.

?? [Ends]

Could you please be quiet? Guard! Guards!

Oh, this really is too much.

Hey, Persnikitty. Happy Chapman's cat. What are you doing in here?

I was his cat until I outlived my purpose.

Oh, then he replaced me with a dog and dumped me in this wretched place.

All humans are the same. Oh, notJon, my owner.

[Chuckles] No way. He only does what's best for me.

He puts up with me, and he feeds me.

And he lets you vacation in this charming animal pound. Hello?

Yeah, not for long, Persnikitty.

Would you please just stop calling me that?

My name isn't really Persnikitty.

It's Sir Roland. Sir Roland?

Yes. Another one of Happy Chapman's acts of cruelty.

I was trained in the classical theater, you know. Uh-huh.

But now, I'm a celebrity cable castoff cat... with a name I can never live down.

Well, this may hurt a little then.

I'm trying to rescue the dog that replaced you, Persnikitty.

I mean, Roland. Uh, Happy and Odie are getting on a train in less than two hours... to go to New York to become regulars on Good Day, New York.

Wait a minute. Did I just hear that right?

You're a cat that's trying to rescue a dog?

It's true. I know. It's a crime against nature.

At first I thought he was a pain, but he's grown on me... like a wart you wanna have removed until you realize... it defines you in some funny way.

Do you know, that is absolutely charming.

Let me ask you a question, chubby.

What are you talking about?

How could you understand? He's my friend.

Oh, my gosh. How low have I sunk?

Guard, may I have some shoelaces, please?

[Guard] Well, hello there. Right on time.

All right. I need a five-count lineup right now. Let's go.

Move, move, move. Hey, what's going on?

Adoption. Looks like one of us is getting out of here.

So, you're here to look at a cat.

All right. Well, let's see if we can't take care of you.

[Persnikitty] Careful. Let's go, boys. Let's hurry it up.

Can I just say your hands are freezing?

How are you, newbie? This might be your lucky day.

Come here. There you go.

Oh, you are a heavy one.

Excuse me. Muscle weighs more than fat. Come on. That's right.

Come over here. Check this.

Hey, what about me?

All right. Let's line it up.

Paws on the white line. Tails in the air.

I don't need to be adopted, guys. My guyJon is coming to get me, I'm sure.

That one. Really.

She picked me! She picked me! She did!

[Singsong] She picked me. She picked me. Not that one.

That one. The one that looks like the cat on TV.

Back it up, Red. She went with Trigger.

[Persnikitty] Sorry, love. Come here.

Better luck next time. Now you be careful.

There you go. That's not... That's sore. Ow!

Jon's gonna be here in five minutes anyway.

When I give the signal, run like a mad cow.

What? Don't you want to save your friend?

Do I really have to run? Now!

Eat hair ball, Happy Chapman!

[Guard] Not the red button.! [Alarm Ringing]

[Persnikitty] Once more into the breach, dear friends. Once more.!

?? [Sings]

[Barking]

Go, go, go, go, go! I'm going. I'm going.

Run! Run! Let's go! Get the door!

[Dog] Hey, there's a fire hydrant!

Don't stop! Don't stop!

Code blue! Code blue! We got runners. We got runners.

Halt! Stop! You have not been cleared for release.

[Chattering]


[Jon] Garfield's been here. Uh, excuse me.

Can I help you with something? We're looking for Happy Chapman.

Uh, yeah. He's on his way to the train station. He's going to New York.

D-Do you guys have a pass or something?

I'm gonna have to ask you guys to leave. Thank you.

Okay, thanks.

[Gasps] Oh, excuse me.

[Man On P.A.] Your attention please. The New Amsterdam Limited... is now departing from Platform 12.

All aboard!

All aboard.!

Good afternoon, gentlemen. What will you be having today... salmon, steak or lasagna?

Steak. I hate lasagna.

Beep, beep. Cat coming through. Beep, beep. Going through the tunnel.

Nyow! I just had to do that. It's a cat!

[Man On P.A.] Final call for the New Amsterdam Limited.

The New Amsterdam Limited is now departing from Platform 12.

No. Wait. Please. Stop.

Wait. Don't. No. Oh.

You monster, Chapman.!

[Sobbing] I can't outrun a train.

Whoa. Watch the train, pal.

Let's wait here now, honey. Hey.

I got it. It's just a train set, only bigger.

Oh, no, we're too late. No.

We're gonna stop that train. Come on.

Somewhere around here... there's gotta be a big table... with all the trains on it.

[Man On Radio] Yeah, now's a good time to take a 10-minute break, Ted.

Over and out.

He looks like the type.

And this must be where he's got his little table.

[Woman] I'm very sorry, sir. There's simply no way to stop that train.

Ma'am, you don't understand. You have to stop that train.

My dog and my cat are on that train.

I suppose ifJon can do this, I can.

Okay, we gotta find our train. Let's see what happens when I do this.

[Beeps] [Clatters]

[Female Computer Voice] Boston Express switching to Track 18.

Well, I'm sorry. Folks in Boston are gonna be a little late today.

Ha! [Clatters]

Let's see what happens when I do this.

Warning: Seattle Wind... No, I don't care about Seattle.

Warning: Collision.

Ma'am, I'm looking for one train in particular.

Just one second. I'm trying to find my friend.

The New Amsterdam Limited... There's the Amsterdam.

[Horn Sounds] Warning: Collision, 20 seconds.

Gosh, you sound like my mother. [Clacking]

[Alarm Blaring] All right, hold up. Everybody stop.

Warning. [Metal Scraping]

Five, four... [Garfield] Stop what you're doing.!

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. All stop.

[Horns Blaring]

[Beeping] Yeah!

Okay, everybody. Let's take it from the top.

Okay? [Whimpering]

You have to stop that train. Hold on.

[Beeping]

I'll be down to meet you at the station, Odie.

Actually, that train has stopped. It's returning to the station.

Are we on the right train?

[Beeps]

Where are ya? [Odie Whining]

I think I recognize that whine.

[Continues Whining]

Hey, come on.

[Scratching] See, these are the kinds of seats you get... when you book at the last minute.

Good to see you, partner.

Let's get outta here.

Your attention please. The New Amsterdam Limited...

Your attention please. The New Amsterdam Limited... is making an unscheduled stop on Platform 12.

No, sir, please take your seat.

No, no, my future is running away from me. What's the trouble here?

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Conductor] Please, stay calm and go back to your seat.

[Man] Hey.! How rude!

Buddy!

[Panting]

Ah.

Hey, could you slow down? I've been doing this running thing all day.

And I am over it. Hey, we-re... we're safe now.

We're free. Oh.

If it isn't Unhappy Chappy. Going somewhere?

Nice accessory, but I don't think I want to play "dress up"with you, pal.

Let's get outta here. Let's beat it.!

Oh, right in the nose again!

[Odie Whimpering] So, it's gonna get physical, is it?

Did you really think you could just run away from Happy Chapman?

[Garfield] Oh, is this a cry for help.

No dumb dirty animal is ever gonna get the better of me.

And let's see how you feel with 200 volts coursing... through that thick canine skull of yours. Chapman...

Come here. Get your hands off of my friend.!

[Garfield Yelling]

[Grunts, Groaning]

Hey, Boomer. What round is it? Good to see you, chubby.

We're here to help. Sir Roland?

In the fur!

Come on. Come on. Come on. [Dog Howling]

[Both Growling]

[Whistling]

[Dogs Continue Barking]

[Dog Growling]

[Barks] [Gulps] [Growls]

Okay. Okay. [Rats Chattering]

Rats! Aah! [Whimpering]

All right, here's the drill. Cats, scratch like you've never scratched before.

Dogs, bite but don't chew. And, rats...

[Gulps] See if you can get that pretty necklace around his neck.

[Garfield] Canines, felines and "vermines"... it's showtime.

All right, boys. Dog pile.!

[Clamoring]

Thanks, boys. The home team will take it from here.

Better split before animal control gets here.

Hey, Garfield, shake it easy. See you later, Garfield. Yeah, good luck.

Odie, would you mind sharing the remote, please?

Every dog has his day, Happy.

Nice kitty. Let's see what's on the news.

[Electrical Surge]

Let me tell you something, Happy.

To you, Odie might be just a dumb, stupid, smelly dog.

But to me, he's all that and much more. [Barks]

He's my friend.

Odie, try something else. Maybe there's a game on.

[Electrical Surge]

Strong finish, little buddy.

Odie? Garfield?

Odie? Odie? Odie?

Be happy. This is for stealing my dog and my cat.

He didn't steal me. I was doing the rescue work.

Garfield! Odie!

Come here. Hi. Oh, come here.

Oh, I missed you guys so much. I was so worried about you.

I'm never gonna let you out of my sight again.

Never. You guys are my best friends.

You had me at hello. Oh.

Get outta here. This is WalterJ. Chapman... with breaking news from the Midwest.

Abby Shields reporting. Whatcha got for me, Abby?

Details are sketchy, but it appears that a deranged man... may be the cause of all the trouble here.

A deranged man? What is this?

In fact, the police are bringing the suspect out as we speak.

Aah! Good grief. It's my idiot brother.

[Nermal] Hey, that's Happy Chapman.

He's going for a ride in the police car.

But sources tell me that this incident... somehow involved a dog and a very heroic cat.

[Girl Cat] Garfield.! [Nermal] Hey, he saved Odie.!

Now he's a hero. Oh, I didn't realize.

Garfield's on TV. He's a hero.

[Nermal] Garfield.! That's Garfield.

Garfield's a hero now.! [Garfield] Thanks, everybody.

[Nermal] Hero.! Well, thanks for saying so. It's nice to hear.

[Nermal] We're a whole street full of heroes. It sounds sincere. Thank you.

[Nermal] Yeah. Heroes.! [Luca] Okay.

[Luca] I've been waiting years for this.

[Nermal] Whoa.! Come on, pal.

[Nermal] Hey, Arlene. Wow. It's nice to be recognized by your peers.

I couldn't have done this without you. L...

We...

You're a really great friend.

Jon, I wanna be more than your friend.

You do? Yeah.

[Garfield] Where do they find the energy?

?? [Chorus On TV]

Yeah, just one big happy family.

Yeah, right! Hit the floor.

[Chuckles] No, seriously, you can come up, buddy.

Come on. Come on. No, seriously. Come on up.

Down you go. We just hit it off so great... because we both love the same thing, and that is...

[Whimpers] Me.

?? [Singing]


[Chuckles]

?? [Ends]

Uh, oops.

Hey, Odie, help me. I can't get up.

Odie, my friend, bring me some ice.

Will you hurry up, you dumb dog? I'm in pain.