Get the Gringo (2012) Script

(50,000 MILES BENEATH TH MY BRAIN PLAYING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

Can you love me with a thousand eyes?

Can you see right through my bones?

I need a doctor!

I'll get you a vet, you son of a bitch!

You should have shot him first!

COP: (ON RADIO) We've got two clowns headed south on Wall 51!

Four miles from the border.

(GROANS)

And stop bleeding on my money!

COP: (ON RADIO) All units, be advised.

Suspects are armed and dangerous.

What the fuck!

DRIVER: Well, hello, boys and girls.

There's nothing worse than a sad clown.

Unless it's a clown bleeding internally and coughing it all over your money.

Well, I suppose this summer vacation with a big haul south of the border, was out of the question now.

But like my old mother always told me, "Fuck off, loser. ”

Let your world spin free Let it go, I'll do the same The jewels will shine on me


(SPEAKING SPANISH OVER CB)

...gringo border patrols in pursuit


VAZQUEZ Bill!

Holy shit!

(LAUGHING) The circus came to town!

Vazquez, I'll tell you what.

We'll take care of this.

You better. You know the paperwork involved.

We'll say they landed on your side. Okay?

No problemo.

Comandante!


(IN SPANISH)

Load these guys in our car The bags too And put this shit out!

We might have to book them ourselves.

Bullshit. These are our prisoners, Vazquez.

Not the way I see it, Bill. They are on Mexican soil.

You're a piece of shit, Vazquez.

There's no way you're taking these clowns.

You're in no position to bargain.

I'd hate for our little arrangement, every second Tuesday of the month...

Fuck you, Vazquez!

You thinking about blowing the whistle on me or something, nun?

Yeah, if I need to.

Is that a threat, cabron?

Look, you're corrupt, we're corrupt.

There's one difference.

We're honest about it.

You better bury them in that goddamn

"I don't give a fuck, slap on the wrist" beaner system of yours.

You win, Bill.

You won't be hearing from them again.

Hey, what did they do?

Rob a bank?

(GROANS)

You figure it out, genius.

Let's go.

(YELLING IN SPANISH)

Luis, let's get the fuck out of here!

It's procedure!

Fuck procedure, let's go!

(IN SPANISH)

No IDS

What's your name?

I'm Bozo, he's Frosty with the...

What's your name? Howard.

Dennis?

Fuck!Ruben?

(SHUDDERS)

(IN SPANISH)

This guy's dead!

Don't worry. We'll give him a nice burial, relieve you of your money troubles, and find you a nice place.

You'll be happy there.

DRIVER: Ah, prison.

I lucked out. It could've been a hole in the desert.

And since I didn't have any cash, I guess they were forced to charge me.

God only knew where my cash was.

But at least I know who had it.

(LOUD MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)

That's been playing for six fucking hours.

Torture by Mariachi.

Ah, what's this? (MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

Check your guns, you know the rules Oh. Inmates. With guns.

Now that's kind of new. (IN SPANISH)

Take care of this one I got a lot to learn about this place.

(CELL DOOR SLAMMING SHUT) (IN Spanish)

Give me your shoes, bitch!

DRIVER: Dancing with the Stars.

I see.

Get your mind right. Soften you up in a holding cell with loud music, deprive you of sleep.

Oh, well, I guess I was gonna have to take my lumps sooner or later.

(MARIACHI MUSIC CONTINUES)

Zapatos! H U h?

Yeah? The shoes, puto!

Ah...

(YELLING) You look like you have really small feet and these are size 11!

(GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

DRIVER: Ah. Fucking ouch.

(IN SPANISH)

You'll have fun in here asshole

(SPEAKING SPANISH)


(MUSIC STOPS)

(IN SPANISH)

This will be your home for a while and we your family In a few hours you will be moved into the main prison You'll have some freedom but remember... this is still a prison Use what you've learned in this holding cell and don't make trouble for us or yourselves Or, as the saying goes... small town... large hell Welcome

This is "El Pueblito"

God bless you

(MARIACHI MUSIC RESUMES)

Jack, you work too hard.

The Consulate's closed.

I just came to pick up the files.

I think you may be forgetting to report an American citizen.

That's a serious offense, Armando.

Honest mistake, Jack.

Come see me tomorrow. We'll sort it out.

(MUTTERS)

DRIVER: Five thousand songs or so later, G-24 - G-25 - G-26 - G-27 we were let out of the holding cell G-27 and transferred to the general prison populace.

(COUNTING IN SPANISH)


Now I've been in the joint before, but this was kind of different.

(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)

Is this a prison or the world's shittiest mall?


If/ was going to survive in this place, it was time to do what I was good at.

What's up, old man?

Anyway, I was out of cigarettes.


Holy Rolex.

Shit.

(SHUDDERING)


Gracias.

DRIVER: Well, it was bedtime at El Pueb/ito.

Hmm. Looked like all the good pieces of dirt were taken.

(MAN SHOUTING IN SPANISH) (BELL RINGING)

Get up you lazy bums!

(YELLING IN SPANISH)

Move it, move it!

You can talk later, let's move it!

Move it!

You too gringo, get the fuck over there!

Let's go, let's go

Plastics

You know, you gotta love murderers who recycle.


(IN SPANISH)

Heads up gringo, here they come!

(CHUCKING)

(GROANS)

This is going to pinch a little.

(MUFFLED) Cunt.

(G-GRUMBLING) (IN SPANISH)

Lunch!

DRIVER: Somebody was running this place, and it wasn't the warden.

Ah. Now he looks like somebody. People showing him respect.

Yeah, he's somebody. He's yelling at people.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

So the little guy in the bad-taste clothes is working for him

'cause he's making his life miserable.

And... Wait a minute, 12 o'clock.

Guy in a bathrobe in the penthouse.

Well, he must be EI Hefner.

No, no. Those two guys are both working for him.

He doesn't even have to get dressed and he's making both their lives miserable.

Where'd he get a bathrobe like that?

I had to improve my social standing around here.

It was simple, really.

Two bits bought you a day off work so you could focus on doing a real job.

Need some heroin?

Make tracks to the smack shack, where business was always booming.


(PEOPLE SHOUTING)

(INAUDIBLE)


Got a cigarette?

Yeah. Can I have one?

How old are you, kid?

Eighteen. Get lost.

I'm ten. Can I have one now?

No.

You probably want me to keep my mouth shut.

Well, Manuel's taco stand caught on fire, and Rodrigo the Doctor seems to have some misplaced cash.

If I talk, the shit's really going to hit the fence.

Cigarette?

Light?

So, you're a watcher.

You learn a lot from watching.

What are you in here for?

Very funny.

I'm only ten, man. My father was a dealer.

Was?

Yeah, I live here with my mom.

You speak pretty good English, kid. Where'd you learn?

Sesame Street.

(MUTTERING IN SPANISH)

What's with all the school kids going back and forth all the time?

If you're not an inmate, you're free to go in and out.

What? They live here? Yeah.

Hmm.

If you have money, you can pay for your family to come live with you while you're serving time.

That's a new one. How come you don't go to school?

I'm special. Yeah?

How are you special?

(IN SPANISH)

I just lit it for him!

Let's go

What did I tell you about the fucking cigarettes!

JACK: Most gringos are in worse shape after a few days in El Pueblito.

Yeah. Some vacation, huh?

I bet you'd like one of these.

Oh, would I!

Oh, yeah!

(SIGHS)

Now, your, uh, file doesn't have a name. Do you have a name?

Yes. Richard Johnson.

Dick Johnson, huh?

It's unfortunate.

Yeah.

Anybody I can Contact for you, Dick?

Wife, sweetheart? No.

Boyfriend? No.

I didn’t think so.

Says here you were caught buying Valium in a drugstore downtown without a prescription.

That doesn't quite fit.

What are you doing in here?

You're right. It doesn't fit. That is bullshit.

They're making this up.

Two cops got a hold of me, they rolled me in and I ended up in here. You gotta get me out of here.

Just misunderstood, huh?

Yes, that's right.

You don't have any fingerprints.

Guy who burns off his fingerprints is a career man.

Even I know that much.

You gonna get me out of here or not?

Seems to me somebody's trying to bury you in here.

No shit, Sherlock.

What do you want?

I mean, maybe I can help you.

Like I said, I can't help you without any information.

You're not giving me any information.

You spring me out of here, I'll give you plenty.

(CHUCKLES)

You know, it's a lot easier to end up dead in here than to survive.

Gringo without money in a south of the border jail.

Ah, it's not so bad, you know.

At least it's a shithole All right. (CHUCKLES) You're not gonna tell me.

That's all right. That's all right, that's fine.

I can respect that.

But I will find the truth out for myself, you know.

Well, even a blind pig has to find an acorn now and then.

(BURPS)

You called me fat.

Be careful, my friend. You'll hurt my feelings.

Let me tell you something.

There's a little skinny guy inside of me and you know what that guy's saying?

He's saying something stinks about you.

And I'm gonna find out what it is.

Nice meeting you.

You too. Thanks for dropping by.

Take care of yourself.

Yeah, don't sweat too much.

Oh, I never do!

DRIVER: The ugly American.

I thought it was me until he turned up.

I didn't like him sniffing around my business.

(IN SPANISH)

Nothing's free!

Please! We have nowhere to go!

You could stay with me You won't let me help you C'mon kids, hurry up, let's go

Hey, you speak English?

Yeah.

I'm looking for a place to live and you look like the guy that knows.

Real estate is a high commodity.

What are you looking for?

Nothing special.

Here we are! (SHOUTS IN SPANISH)

Get out, c:cabron!

Nothing special. There is a common bathroom for tenants outside.

TV and cable are additional if you want it.

Fan, blanket, and towel are complimentary. Welcome.

Perfect.


(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(ROMANTIC SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)

(IN SPANISH)

All good General?

Take care of him


DRIVER: Well, this must be cell block A.

Gives a whole new meaning to doing hard time.

A special wing for special inmates.

I guess you had to know someone to get in.


What the fuck are you looking at?

FUCK!

(IN SPANISH)

Why aren't you in bed?

I didn't want you walking home alone

DRIVER: Okay. So escaping is frowned upon.

KID: it's harder than it looks, guero.

Breaking out.

I don't know. It looks pretty easy to me.

You can buy anything in El Pueblito.

Except your way out.

Even Javi has to come back when he goes out.

Who's Javi?

(IN SPANISH)

King Rat He runs the joint.

Lives up there, where the rich people live.

Oh, the guy with the cheesy bathrobe and the cell phone.

Yeah. Cigarette?

No. What do you mean, "When he goes out"?

A veces sale. Dinner, soccer matches, whatever.

But even he has to come back.

Wow, he's really got a good thing going for him in here.

Oh, yeah.

(SPEAKING SPANISH) Hmm?

I'm gonna kill him.

Okay. Why? What did he ever do to you?

It's personal.

Remind me never to rub you the wrong way.

Cigarette? No, kid.

You mother has a vicious right.

She's asleep. She worked late last night.

Yeah, I know. What's she do?

Shit for Javi.

Last night was casino night.

Hey, who are those two guys?

Ren and Stimpy? Yeah.

The big guy, Caracas, that's Javi's brother.

What about the little real estate cat?

Carnal. He's their cousin.

He's a useless prick. Even they hate him.

Cigarette?

No.

When I came in here, they took blood from me.

I'm figuring it's not a health thing.

No shit Can I have a cigarette, for fuck's sake?

You know, the other day you told me you were special.

How are you special?

How are you special? Fuck you!

You're so special, get your own fucking cigarettes.

Quit mooching off me. I got a 40 year habit. Get lost.


(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)

Whoo!

(LAUGHING)

(SINGING ALONG)

(ALL CLAMORING)

DRIVER: Ah, Sunday.

Visiting day at El Pueblito.

Bring the whole family to the crappiest place on earth.

Enjoy our ever-popular, world famous cavity search.

At 20 bucks a pop, they were making a killing.

(IN SPANISH)

30 pesos for fifteen minutes Go play kids!

(MOANING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

One.

(MUMBLING) (IN SPANISH)

Calm down, there's enough for everyone

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

(IN SPANISH)

That's the kid, give him a hand!

What's wrong with you?

Tough guy, eh?

Shut the fuck up!

Touch him again and I'll out your balls off Now fuck off!

You good?


Hey, kid, that's more than a toothpick you got there.

What's your plan?

Stab him in the heart.

Oh.

The aorta, the vena cava.

Those are pretty deep blood vessels. Chances are you'd miss.

How about the stomach?

Real grab bag. Full of guts, liver, spleen.

Hmm. Quick treatment would probably save his life.

The neck? Yeah, good thinking.

The carotid.

Too high for you, kid. You'd need a ladder.

Typically, you want to kill someone instantaneously, you go for the central nervous system or the brain.

Lights out.

FUCK!

(PANTING)

Have a smoke? I really need one.

No.

Not until you tell me why you're so special around here.

Fuck you, you can't touch me!

What, if I do this those guys are gonna kill me?

You're holding out on me, kid. Spit it out!

Fuck you, puto!

Knock it off.

Is that guy Javi your father?

Is that why they protect you, huh?

(GRUNTING)

You're a mosquito! Sit the fuck down!

A man who won't level with you, that's a man you can't trust.

You don't ever talk to me again. Get lost, kid.

He killed my father!

I was seven when I came to live here.

My parents were doing 15, drug trafficking.

Javi needed a new liver.

And my dad was a perfect match.

Same rare blood type.

He has my father's liver.

I want to out it out of him, and bury it with my dad.

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

Okay.

But what's the deal with you?

He's going to need another liver.

Fuck.Well,I guess you are special.

That's why they took my blood.

Bingo gringo!

They test everyone, but I'm the only match.

I got put on the inside at 14 for trying to fuck up somebody I really hated.

My dad.

I wish someone had killed him, I'd given him a cigar.

He'd been beating up on my mom. The third time that week I snapped finally and went to work on him with a baseball bat.

The only mistake I made, I didn't kill him.

That's why I ended up in the shitter the first time.

So you gotta be careful, kid.

If you're gonna do this thing, do it right.

Otherwise they'll fry your balls off.

And although you're not using them at the moment, trust me, someday soon, you're gonna want those puppies working.

You don't wanna kill Javi.

You need to kill Javi.

Before he kills you.

Here, look at this.

I was a sniper.

Snipers work in two-man teams.

I need a spotter. You up for the gig?

Are we going to shoot him?

It's not about that. It's about watching.

Waiting. We'll see him, we'll get him.

Yeah.Fucker's lived to long.

(IN SPANISH)

What do you mean why?

He's stealing from us, and he's an idiot Carnal is family He's a liability You straighten him out, I don't want to deal with it You may not have a choice He's getting out of hand People hate him What do you want me to do... kill him?

Just get him off real estate It's a big job, too much money Give him an assistant

(WHISTLES)

Deal with it brother Hey, come here.

Mom's here, she's cooking What'd you find out?

(IN SPANISH)

Mom!

A sight for sore eyes Aunt Flor And your cousin?

He's coming

How's his health?

Is he drinking?

Don't worry so much I'm holding you responsible

JACK: Hey, fellas!

Who the fuck are you?

I'm with the US Consulate in Tijuana.

Really.

You a cop?

No.

Couldn't pass the physical.

So what do you want?

No. What do you want?

The man who drove this car or the guys who were spending the money?

Both.

One stop shop. Welcome to Costco.

Yeah. Here's my membership card.

Oh, come on. Take it easy, cowboy.

All I want is the joy of seeing justice done.

It'll be for the right price, I'm not greedy.

Hell, I'll get you a picture.

I'll take you to him personally. Huh?

How do you like them apples?

(Cl-CHEERING)

(JAVI SPEAKING SPANISH)

Let me remind you... that all the money raised... will go to the family fund here at El Pueblito So cough it up!

Straight from Juarez... the King of the Skies...

Magno!

That's Magno. He's running in fourth.

And there's no way he can beat Blue Demon Jr. He's a champion.

And the legendary... Blue Demon Jr.

The referee... our dear friend Mr. Ringo Starr

(COUGHING)

Him and Sanso are like the best.

They're like the shit, man.

Before my dad got locked away we went to go see his match.

CROWD: (CHANTING) Blue! Blue! Blue!

Hey, you gotta... You gotta knock this shit off, kid.

Come on. Get yourself another habit.

Sugar. Here.

Get yourself an ice cream.

Orale. Thanks. Bring me back the change.

Behave Mom!

Hey- Hey-

Why the money?

Ah, you know, he worries too much.

He needs to be a kid for a while.

Why, you gonna hit me again?

(CHUCKLES) He does worry too much.

Today he looks happy.

He talks about you. Told me about your dad.

And how you talked him out of something stupid.

That's not easy.

Well, he's smart. He listens.

He doesn't talk to many people.

No?

Want a beer?

(ALL CHEERING)

Yeah.

(IN SPANISH)

You got a visitor!

Oh, I have a visitor. I'm sorry.

Mmm-hmm.

I'll take you up on the beer later. Thank you.

Right.

Well, howdy, buckeroos!

(GREETING IN SPANISH)

Looking sharp!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Thank you for your financial contribution to our families.

Don't mention it.

We took care of Frosty, by the way.

(HUMS CIRCUS MUSIC)

He did want a cremation, didn't he?

Oh, l didn't know him that well.

We have a serious problem.

Is this something I can help you with?

Well, the thing is, two of the cops that were with us when we first met, turned up dead.

Cops die all the time, it's part of the trade.

What is disturbing is the fact they were tortured.

Badly.

So we wanted to ask you where you got the money.

We are just concerned that someone might be looking for it.

And if they are, we need to know who it is.

I see. Two million bucks is a lot of money.

Two million dollars is a lot of money, you're right.

Well, it says here they were found in a brand new Mercedes.

What... What model was it?

Listen, things can get a lot worse for you in here.

Oh, let me guess, you've got friends in here, too.

Well, I'm sure Javi's power stretches outside these walls.

I mean, he knows about the money you stole from me, yeah?

I mean, you gave him his cut, right?

Listen, you fucking gringo!

You may think you have this place figured out, but you don't know shit!

Just tell us where you got the money.

I'll tell you what, whoever tortured those cops surely knows you're in here.

If you tell us, we could help.

Otherwise, it's just a matter of time before they come get you.

No, you're right.

And here's the thing, and I'm sure you two will agree with me, they'll be coming to get you two first.

So here's my advice stop spending my fucking money.

Put it someplace safe and then go and hide yourselves. Okay?

Because when they find you, they will kill you.

And then I'll never get my damn money!

Suit yourself. And watch your back in here!

Yeah, take it easy out there.

You have no idea who we are!

(LAUGHS) You're Vazquez.

Badge number 903489.

You're Romero. Badge number 1... Oh, fuck it!

(SIGHS)

You ever been fishing?

Never been out of this joint.

No? Well, you got a treat in store, but it's kinda like this.

There he is.

You know what to do. Divide and conquer.

(IN SPANISH)

That's my watch Hey kid!

Where are you going?

Come here you prick What?

Come here you little fucker Fucking Indian Damn!

(IN SPANISH)

Hey, c:cabron.!

Sorry. Sorry.

(CONTINUES IN SPANISH)

Give me!

Where'd you get it?

I found it in the trash It's mine I'm going to tell Caracas What are you looking at?

KID: Bang, bang.

Come here.

Heart shot.

Yeah. Well, you spot, I'll shoot. Come here.

We did better than I thought. Here.

There's your cut. Oh, nice.

Oh. Here. And I got this for you, too.

What is it? Nicotine gum.

What does it do? Yeah. Stops the craving.

Don't flash it around. Don't spend it in big chunks, that's how you get boned, okay.

Hey, how about that beer now?

Oh. Twist my arm?

Which one? This one.

Thank you.

I was a user. That's how we met.

Then I helped him out, cutting the shit.

Packing it...

We got busted with three kilos.

Got 15 years.

Thank you.

At least, I got cleaned up in here.

You have a cigarette?

Yeah. You remind me of someone.

Yes. If you tell him, I'll kick your ass.

Again?

Worse.

Where is he? Is he around?

I think he went for a beer.

What?

Oh, shut up.

So, guero, you married?

Easy, mamacita, you're moving a little fast.

That's a very sensitive subject for me.

I was. Um...

She ran off with a former business associate of mine, one Reginald T. Barnes.

We were doing a job, I got away...

He got caught.

He ratted me out for immunity, and I did seven years in the slammer.

She ended up shacking up with him.

Nice, huh?

You know, I still have recurring dreams about it.

Yeah, there's a knock on the door.

Reginald opens it, he's wearing underpants and eating a bowl of cornflakes, weird, huh?

Mmm. Yeah. Not a pretty sight.

There's milk spilling down his chin and shit.

And my wife's making coffee over behind him.

And these two goons at the door, whip out these massive cannons...

(MIMICS GUN FIRING) And they start filling his chest full of holes, he hits the floor, dead as a mackerel.

She drops the coffee and starts screaming her ass off.

And then?

Well, then I wake up.

The resentment will kill us all.

But them first. Here... Here's to resentment.

(DOOR OPENS)

I know you know about the liver.

Well...

How rare can blood be?

Very. it's called Bombay Blood.

One in half a million.

Javi found a match.

Your husband.

And my son.

I never know when they'll come for him.

Yeah, well...

We're not gonna let that happen.

Are we?

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)


(IN SPANISH)

What's up?

What do you want?

The money You trade rent payments for sex Others pay you with drugs You're out of control You're a disgrace We never should have given you this job Tough shit... it's a family business Maybe you're the fuck up If I was in charge, no one would steal from us Enlighten me I was robbed BY Whom?

I don't know There are a few thieves in here You and your fucking lies Don't bullshit me The money, or the fucker who robbed you You're my cousin... but if you don't deliver, you're finished

Fuck off, I'm not your bitch!

The money, fucker

When did you get robbed?

Who knows When I got my watch back?

I don't know!

Maybe

Do you think I'm an idiot !?

(GRUNTING)

Where'd you get the watch !?

I found it!

Did the gringo help?

No, it was just me!

Get him!

Caracas.

Think you can fool me you little fuck !?

(GROANS)


(GRUNTS)


(SOBBING)

Get off her, you son of a bitch!

I'm not done with you!

(GRUNTS)

(IN SPANISH)

What did you idiots do!'?

This room was built for me!

Now you're bleeding all over it He had the mom...

He was going to kill the kid Son of a bitch!

What the fuck did you do?

Idiot!

Answer me!

Now what?

Javi!

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

It's Aunt Flor Answer it Answer it, man!

Hi, Aunt

He can't talk right now...

he's lying down

Okay, We It's going to break her heart What could I say?

If the gringo hadn't killed him, I would have What about the gringo?

What about him?

He's not family, he's not Mexican...

I'd kill him

I saved your brother's life.

I saved your life, too. I protected the kid and the liver.

I terminated two troublesome employees.

(IN SPANISH)

Fucking gringo!

One of those was my cousin!

Don't tell me you weren't thinking about killing him already.

I saved you the embarrassment of having family blood on your hands.

And if he was willing to kill your brother, he was coming to kill you next.

In about a minute and a half, to be precise.

So, I saved your fucking life twice.

(YELLS)

I need a drink

(PANTING) Fuck!

FUCK!

Cut him loose!

Yeah, okay. Give me a minute.

I need to change my shorts, for God's sake!

(IN SPANISH)

He knows about my liver He knew about our problems with Carnal He seems to know what I'm thinking Who is he?

I don't know Armando doesn't know either So he's in here with no name, charges, or fingerprints?

You're in charge of security!

How does this fucking gringo know everything?

So kill him then You idiot!

Don't be hasty!

First, find out who sent him Find out who he is Then we kill him

DRIVER: Which one?

(IN SPANISH)

Number three

Yup.

JACK: Hey, there.

Oh, hey, Butterballs

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, Butterballs Just checking in. Wanted to see how you're doing.

Fine. Yeah.

Well, you know, I see you're still hanging in there.

So...

I know there's money. I could still help you out.

All I want is a piece of the pie.

Talkative as ever, eh?

That's okay. It was nice knowing you.

Sorry if we got off on the wrong foot.

Good luck then. You're gonna need it.

DRIVER: Butterballs was putting the squeeze on me sooner than I thought.

It was time to play e card I'd been holding beck.

Try and get my cash a little closer.

Buen dias.

What do you want, guero?

I have some information for you that I think you might find valuable.

Uh, two oops, Vazquez and Romero, badge number 90348...

Okay, okay, okay. We know our oops.

Oh, you Know them? Mmm.

Well, in that case you'll find this really interesting.

They took a sizeable amount of money from me when they brought me here.

And I figure I'll never see the money again and I just wondered if they gave you your cut.

Why? What's in it for you?

Mmm. Nothing now Probably since I told you, but...

Look, I think a finder's fee would be fair.

How much? Oh, I don't need much.

Ten percent, maybe. Okay, eight.

Uh-uh. How much money?

Oh.

You know, I only stole it. I didn't have time to count it.

Uh, but ballpark, two million, maybe a little more.

You know what will happen if you are pushing my leg?

Si. I know. I wouldn't push your leg.

See you later.

(IN SPANISH)

Get Vazquez and Romero

And bring the money too

(GRUNTING)

(MUFFLED YELLING)

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

Yep, I rechecked it. One million seven.

(GROANS)

Where the fuck's the rest?

I swear on God. That's all there was.

That's bullshit. No bullshit.

It is true.

Hello. Can you see me?

Uh,yeah,boss.I can.

Okay, good. Is it all there?

No, there's only 1.7 and a couple of new cars out front.

Where's the rest?

It's all there. Except for what we spent.

The cars, some hookers.

We bought them shoes.

And tacos. That's all.

Amigos, where is the rest of my money?

That's all there was.

Talk to the gringo that stole it.

Cut the toe off.

Well, we already did that, boss. Two of them.

Cut another one off.

No, please! I swear, that's all there was!

No! (GRUNTS)

(WHISTLES)

Hey, Mr. Vazquez. Listen very carefully.

You see, I'm missing four million dollars.

You're missing three toes so far.

I'll give you a moment to do the arithmetic, then it's up to you if you wanna talk.

(MUMBLING)

What did he say?

He said, "What does arithmetics mean?"

Oh, fuck it. Just kill 'em.

No! Hey, hey! No!

(ROMERO SOBBING)

Hey! Hey, no! I swear!

No, please!

There was only two.

Last chance, Vazquez!

No! No!

(GRUNTS)

I swear! I swear! Sure?

(SCREAMING)

Who the fuck are you?

Hey! That's my money!

(IN SPANISH)

That's Javi's share!

Javi?

I was going to give Javi his cut!

Ja vi Huerta ?

You keep it!

Hey, hey-'

(LAUGHS) Javi. Motherfucker.

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Oh, Jesus.

I'm gonna kill you, Javi.

With my own fucking hands.

(IN SPANISH)

Leave them there

I told you the gringo would be trouble He stole big time from Frank in San Diego Frank knows we have his money

You need to slow down

My big brother...

(COUGHS) always worried about me You keep drinking and smoking like this... and the kid's liver may not be enough

Go get the gringo

You Buffet? You got it.

If you're hungry, try the tacos de pescado.

It's their specialty.

(IN SPANISH)

There's three of them Will the Watchtower be covered?

Have we ever failed you?

Three guys are coming for the gringo Cover them They'll be easy to spot

There's some bad shit coming down on me, I don't want you two caught in the middle of it.

So if you don't see me for a little while...

Okay.


(SCREAMS)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)


(GROANING)


(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

There is something you're not telling us.

JAVI: This gun belonged to Doroteo Arango.

Do you know who he was?

No, but I'm guessing he's dead, because you have his gun.

He was better known as Pancho Villa.

This is the same gun he fired in the Opera Restaurant in Mexico City.

Have you ever been there? No.

The hole's still there in the ceiling.

They auctioned this gun off a few years ago in the States.

They thought that was the original.

(LAUGHING)

(IN SPANISH)

Fucking gringos!

Idiots!

During the revolution, there was a shortage of bullets.

And Pancho was well aware of that.

So he always made sure that every bullet counted.

(GUNSHOT)

Who the fuck are you?

If you really need a name, it's Barnes, Reginald T.

And I'm sorry about the mess. I didn't mean...

(IN SPANISH)

Just kill him already That's not a good idea There are two reasons not to kill me You never mentioned you speak Spanish Nobody asked me I need practice

Frank is now a big problem for you And what's the second reason?

I can get to him I did it once already

Don't do me any favors it's in your best interest as well This is too much, Javi A shootout! Inside the prison If you get me out of here...

I'll kill Frank I'm not joking!

This bloodbath will have consequences

(SIGHS)

Armando...

You chose sides a long time ago We can change that if you want No problem But why don't you clean up the mess out there instead Get the fuck out!

Okay Go kill him But don't come back The money you stole is the price for your life Okay.

I'll need a little cash... guns... and a car

(CHUCKING)

Okay You've been spending time with the kid and his mother.

Keep away from them. And this is the last warning you'll get.


(IN SPANISH)

Hurry UP!

Javi's waiting for you!

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

What name? Barnes.

Reginald T. Barnes.

CACARACAS Javi

(IN SPANISH)

We need to talk, Javi You look worried The shootout was the final straw The government is closing the prison They've tried that before It's a surprise raid, even I don't know when

2000 soldiers... police...snipers

I have to get out of here It won't be easy If Armando lets you out... they'll go after him... then the Mayor, all the way up I can't go to another prison Maybe for a while until things calm down No, I can't risk losing the kid

I need that liver transplant And I'll be too weak to move So get me an ambulance and barricade this place Nothing interrupts the operation

What do we do with Barnes?

Have our boys up north kill him once Frank is dead

(DOG BARKING)

Welcome to the United States. Hey, thank you.

What's your citizenship? USA.

Where were you born, sir?

Chicago, Illinois.

(SPANISH)

What if he doesn't kill Frank?

Give him forty-eight hours... then kill him

(SPANISH RAP SONG PLAYING)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

STEPHANIE: Good morning, Warren Kauffman's office.

Oh, one second I'll see if he's in.

(INTERCOM BEEPS)

Mr. Kauffman. Um, Clint Eastwood is on the line.

(CLEARS THROAT) Hello?

Hold for Mr. Eastwood, please.

Thank you.

(IN DEEP VOICE) Hey, how are you doin'?

Thank for taking my call, sir.

Well, it's quite a surprise, Mr. Eastwood.

I'm a fan of your work.

WOMAN: This is bullshit!

You know what, man? This is not what you guaranteed me.

Excuse me for a minute, sir.

WOMAN: This is not what you said.

Okay, now, that's better. That's better. Okay, move along.

That's good. You all right, man.

You all right. Yeah.

Hallelujah to ya! Whoo!

Cut!

All right, set up for take two.

Sorry, sir. I'm a workin' stiff.

You gotta make your time where you can.

(LAUGHS) What can I do for you, Mr. Eastwood?

Well, you know, I'm going to be in San Diego for a couple of days playing a golf tournament, and all the proceeds are going to the Stroke Association.

I play golf myself, you know.

Well, my associates and I are looking to make a meeting with you if we could.

Sit down and let you know how you could be part of the Stroke Association.

It's doing good in the community and it's a damn decent tax write-off.

Well, it sounds interesting.

You think you could make it to my office tomorrow morning?

Yeah, I'll have my assistant, Mr. Barnes, be in touch with your assistant.

Make all the arrangements.

Great.

You'll, uh, make my day. (CHUCKLES)

Ha ha. That's a good one.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Go!

(IN SPANISH)

Regina, it's time!

Move it!

JAVI: I'll take better care of this one.

We have to do this as soon as possible.

Get in

(IN SPANISH)

Don't come out, no matter what I need the donor.

DRIVER: Thanks.

Microwave's over there.

Oh, I'm not going to eat this shit.

MAN 1: What the fuck is going on here?

MAN 2: All right, pop the fucking hood.


(DOOR OPENS)

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) (GRUNTING IN PAIN)

(GASPS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SIGHS)

(IN SPANISH)

I admire your courage I didn't expect any less You know we'll kill you and find the kid Why waste more time?

I treated you well Took care of you both I tried to find someone else But time ran out

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

WOMAN ON PHONE: Hi, I have Warren Kauffman from REPCOM for Mr. Jackson.

One moment, please.

I have Warren Kauffman on the line.

The snip guy?

SECRETARY: That's what they said.

Put him through.

Hello?

Hello, Mr. Jackson, thanks for taking... Excuse me for a minute.

Thanks for taking my call.

My pleasure, sir. How can I help you?

I understand you represent a Mr. Frank Fowler.

Yeah, in some matters.

Are you familiar with my business, Mr. Jackson?

From what I hear you're the largest ship builder in America.

Among other things.

Look, can I assume that our conversation is confidential?

(SIGHS) Yes. Of course.

Good.

I'm interested specifically in Mr. Fowler's marshmallow export business.

I don't know what you mean.

You don't? Well, then, I'm sorry, I must've been given the wrong information.

Perhaps.

Well, how specifically can I help you, sir?

Could I arrange a meeting with Mr. Fowler?

I'd have to check his availability...

Ooh Ia Ia.

...but I'm sure we can work something out.

Unfortunately, I can only meet tomorrow morning.

If that's possible.

Uh, if you can make that work, at my office, downtown, the REPCOM Building, say 10:00 a.m.'?

(LAUGHING)

We'll be there. Great.

Ooh. WOMAN: Hurry up.

(SINGING SOFTLY)

(SNORTS)

Don't move!

Who's the brunette?

What the hell are you doing here?

Tomorrow. Morning.

Very important meeting Pick you up at 9:00 a.m.

Warren Kauffman.

The Warren Kauffman.

Yep.

What the hell does he want from us?

We don't build ships, do we?

He wants to do business with us, Frank.

Okay. 9:00.

(IN SPANISH)

You're a good mother But I'm tired

You want my liver?

Here's your fucking liver

(SCREAMING)

(ALL SHOUTING)

(WAILING)

(FRANTIC TALKING)

(KID GROANING)

Hi. STEPHANIE: Hi.

I'm here to see Mr. Kauffman.

Mr. Barnes?

And you can only be Stephanie.

(CHUCKLES) Yes.

So good to meet you, at last. Likewise.

Mr. Kauffman is ready for you. Excellent Go ahead and just follow me.

Uh, we were expecting Mr. Eastwood, plus four.

Oh, well, the tall one is en route.

You'll hear him drop in, cowboys and helicopters, he'll probably buzz the building.

(CHUCKLING) Are you expecting rain, Mr. Barnes?

Well, you never can tell, Stephanie.

Please, step in. Thank you.

Mr. Barnes is here, his associates are on their way.

Mr. Barnes. Thank you, Stephanie.

Please show the gentlemen in when they arrive.

Mr. Kauffman. So nice to meet you.

Likewise. And thank you for taking us on such short notice.

My pleasure. Look at this view.

Mmm.

And this is, uh, Think Outside the Box.

You know it.

I live by it.

Hi, we have an appointment with Mr. Kauffman.

Yes, they're expecting you.

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

STEPHANIE: Please, step in. MR. JACKSON: Thank you.

Gentlemen. What took you so long?

Mr. Kauffman's just in the restroom, he should be out in a minute.

That chopper turn up yet?

No, not yet. No? Okay.

Well, make yourself at home.

Ah, Warhol? No.

That's a nine-dot puzzle.

Now the trick is you got to join all nine dots together using only four lines, never take your pen off the page.

(CHUCKLES) oh.

You gentlemen like something to drink?

A coffee would be great. Sir?

No, I'm fine. Thank you.

Okay.

Hey, I think I got it.

Oh...

(GROANING)

Oh, my God!

Mr. Kauffman!

Mr. Kauffman!

Oh, my God! Mr. Kauffman!

There's a bomb or something!

(SOBBING) Mr. Kauffman...

(SCREAMS AND GASPS)

Mr. Kauffman! Oh!

Are you okay?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

SURGEON: The Kid is stable.

Barely missed his liver.

How fast can we go?

First thing in the morning.

No.

No, you tell me when you're done.

We go tonight.

JACK: Put it in your mouth! Put it in your mouth!

Eat the chili, bitch! Come on!

Suck it! Suck it! (SHOUTING IN SPANISH)

Eat it all! Take it all!

(LAUGHING)

Now! Now! Now! Now!

(SCREAMS)

(SOBBERING)

(SPANISH SONG PLAYING)

You better feel something.

JACK: All right, do it again.

Open your mouth. Open your mouth.

Open your mouth, puta!

(LAUGHING)

(INDISTINCT TALKING)

Hi.

How did you find me?

I followed the bread crumbs.

Even in a town like Tijuana, you're kinda unique.

I need to spring somebody out of prison here.

Oh, yeah, what's his name, 1.7 mil?

Stupid son of a bitch, why didn't you let me help you?

We could have been splitting this.

And now what?

Now fat chance getting it from Javi, before he's shipped off to Federal with a new liver.

What was that?

It's over, the government is shutting the place down.

They’re raiding the joint tonight.

That fucking moron, Javi, (LAUGHING) he's having an organ transplant in the middle of a raid.

You're not going to leave me like this, are you?

I sure as fuck am.

These credentials will come in mighty handy.

Hey, hey, hey-

You said my car was in the impound?

Where is that?

There's a federal impound, next to the race track.

I wouldn't exactly call it a car anymore.

(IN SPANISH)

Ladies Here

(SIGHS)

Take your time.

Make him squeal

(WOMEN JEERING IN SPANISH)

(MUFFLED SHOUTING)

(JAVI SPEAKING SPANISH)

...but you got the money, right?

I paid you, fucker!

They're here Go fuck your mother!

(GRUNTS)

Make sure Armando has the ambulance ready Leave that open for a quick getaway Nobody gets in here!

(ALL SHOUTING)


(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(MACHINE BEEPING)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

US Consulate.

(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)


(YELLS)

(GROANS)

Ah!

(COCKING GUN)

(PANTING)

Put it back.

Where's the boy's mother?

(STAMMERS) In the dungeon.

Bring her here or I'll kill your brother.

(COCKING GUN)

Okay. Okay, okay.

(IN SPANISH)

Park over there


(COCKING GUN)

Thank you, Malaina. (IN SPANISH)

Go fuck yourself!

He'll be okay

Thank you They were assholes Just like my husband

Stop!

It's an emergency!

Help us to the ambulance!

Be careful

What happened?

Male, ten years old Under anesthesia for liver transplant Vital signs are stable

Mine.

He needs to get to a hospital


(SOLDIER SHOUTS IN SPANISH)

We're in a hurry Gracias.

(SHOUTING IN SPANISH)


(BANGING ON DOOR)

Reginald T. Barnes?

Honey, want some coffee?

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

No!

(CHUCKING)

(SIGHS)

Hola.

Please.

Salud.

(IN SPANISH)

To us

Can I bite you?

Yes Only if it's really hard And don't leave any marks

(LAUGHS)

Mom!

Come Hurry up I'll be back

DRIVER: Well, boys and girls, to the untrained eye, it looks as if crime pays, doesn't it?

But bear in mind J for guys with my particular set of karmic could-be's, there was bound to be a bump or two down the road.

Ah, what the hell.

I'm going to enjoy what's left of the summer.

(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)