Gold Dust (2020) Script

A traveler, storm-stained and brown, from farthest desert touched the town.

And striding through the town, held up above his head a jeweled cup.

He put two fingers to his lip and whispered wild, he stood a-tip.

And leaned the while with lifted hand, and said, "A ship lies yonder dead.

Gold dust sown in sand along your desert, dead and brown."


Yeah, I got it. But hurry.


No wound! Heart attack.

It's cursed.

Before he does.


Listen to this.

"'Lost ship of the desert' stories first appeared

"after the Colorado River flood of 1862.

"Eyewitnesses reported a half-buried hulk in an alkali marsh." What's an alkali marsh?

"Expeditions were sent out from Yuma, "but by the time they arrived, the ship had disappeared under the shifting sand and mud."

What's an alkali marsh?

It's like a... a dry salt lake.

I think.

"Some accounts match descriptions of the legendary lost treasure ship of King Solomon's navy."

Wow.

Hey, Fink, would you rather be a smart pig or a dumb dolphin?

Dolphin.

You're a super smart pig, though.

You could work with computers if you wanted.

No. Dolphin.

Winters and Wang.

They're not going to beat us to this one.

Don't you think, Fink? I don't think they're going to beat us.

More north, Moses. You're drifting.

Smart pig can drive a car.

He can use the bathroom and a cell phone.

The dolphin is the dumbest in the entire herd.

Yeah, I don't care. I want to be the dolphin.

But everyone makes fun of you because you're so stupid.

Are you sure you want that, Fink?

Winters and Wang may have found every treasure of the southwest, but they do not find the lost ship of the desert.

Guess who beats them to it? Fink and Moses, that's who.

Gold bars in the sand, jeweled cups, black pearls.

Bags of gold dust.

How many bags of gold dust did you say, Fink?

On Solomon's ship, 25,000. Supposedly a pound each.

Twenty-five thousand bags of pure gold dust?

That's... that's...

Six hundred million dollars. Give or take.

Moses, pay attention.

Hit it on top.

Hit the horn on top.

Smart pig speaks at conferences, knows how to impress the ladies.

Knows all about food and wine.

He's a great writer... Hey, hey.

What? Stop, stop, stop.

What?

That draw between those hills.

Copper ridge? Nope.

The silver king. No, no.

Lost blue bucket placer.

Lost Dutch oven.

The pig is so smart, he could...

But he's a pig!

Were you not listening to me?

I already told you, he's the smartest pig in all the land.

But he's a pig, Moses.

I... I hate this game. It's so dumb.

Why would you say that?

You didn't have to say that.

What's it say, Fink?

It says, "Wide draw, three-hour walk,"

But from where, I don't know.

Fink. Tent stakes.

Okay, hang on.

It talks about an abandoned camp.

Buckets and blankets and utensils.

It's...

A spoon!

Okay, there ought to be an 80-foot shaft somewhere around here.

Fink...

...we're right on top of it.

Maybe for once...

The lost Dutch oven!

We did it. We did it.

We beat them. Open it.

No, you found it. You should do it.


Winters and Wang, they always seem to be one step ahead of us.

Why can't we get there just once before they did?

Hey, Fink, if we found it, the lost ship millions, what would you do with it?

One thing, besides marrying Jody Fairshanks.

Okay, you do that on purpose, don't you?

It's Joy Lynn Fairbanks.

That's what I would do.

That's what I would always do.

That was high school, Fink.

She probably got married a long time ago.

She might have waited.

Do you even know where she lives?

Yes, I do. You know that how?

Because last time we were in town, I looked her up on the... on the Inter... cloud thing.

That's not what it's called. Yes.

And I got her address, which is outside of Las Vegas, which probably isn't that far away from here.

Well, that's fantastic, Fink. What are you waiting for?

Well, she always said she would only marry a very successful, rich guy, so...

Hmm. Sorry.

Yeah.

What would you do, Moses?

If we found it, what would you do?

I'd either become a big movie star, or I'd start an orphanage.

I don't think you can just pay a lot of money and become a big movie star.

False. How do you think they get their parts?

I'll tell you how.

They hire agents who negotiate fees.

The more money you pay, the better the role.

Yeah, but if they're always paying for their roles, how come they're so rich?

They're movie stars. Movie stars are always rich.

You know, this will probably really impress you.

I happen to know quite a bit about the movie world.

Okay, hold still.

I was in The Lord of the Rings.

You were in The Lord of the Rings?

The first one, in the '70s, before you and I came out here.

In The Lord of the Rings.

Yeah. I had a small part. I got fired.

Had one line. I was an Orc.

You were an Orc in The Lord of the Rings?

Yeah, but I couldn't get the line right.

There was so much to remember.

There's a lot of people on the set, people moving around everywhere.

Okay, I'll show you. Talk like the director.

Stop moving. Wrong. He says, "move."

Actually, the word's "action."

First they say, "Quiet on the set."

And then they say, "roll sound, roll camera.

Action."

So go ahead and say it.

Say what? "Action"? Say all the words.

Oh, my... okay.

Quiet on the set. Roll sound.

Roll camera. Roll action.

Fear, for the city is ripe with it.

The city is what?

Ripe.

I don't think that's right.

It might have been "rife."

But not "ripe."

Not ripe. No.

Or maybe "rank." But not "ripe."

Okay, let me try it again. Say all the words.

No, I'm not going to say that, because they're all still rolling.

Fear, for the city is rife with it.

Okay, stop. What?

I think it would just be, "the city is rife with it."

You don't have to say "for the city is rife with it."

That doesn't make sense.

Not "for"? No.

Okay, let me try again. That's fine.

Fear... sorry, sorry.

They're still rolling. It's okay.

Fear.... can we take it back?

Moses, do you need a minute.

Yes. No, no, I'll get it this time.

Okay, fine.

Quiet on the set.

Roll sound.

Roll camera.

Fear, for the city is with it.

Okay, cut.

What? They weren't rolling.

Can we do it again?

We can, but everyone's getting tired.

Sorry, sorry.

Quiet on the set! No, no.

You said I was the director.

You don't say anything until I say "action."

You say "action." I see.

That's right. So, are you ready?

Yes. Quiet on the set.

Roll sound. Roll camera Action. Cut!

No, no, you don't say "cut." I say "cut."

You say action, and I say...

You say your line only.

Wasn't there a backup Orc?

I am the backup Orc.

Okay, that makes... you know what?

Then we're doing this once more.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Are you ready? Yeah.

Quiet on the set. Roll sound. Roll camera.

Roll action.

Fear that young money city is rank with it.

What does that even mean?

I thought I should ad lib.

No, you shouldn't ad lib. You shouldn't.

You should say your one stupid line.

Okay, let me go one more time.

No.

Roll sound. No.

Roll camera. No, those aren't your lines.

Action. No.

Fear for that fresh money city is ripe and delicious.

Oh, so delicious.

How do I look?

You look good.

But Moses, listen, if I were you, I would definitely, definitely stick with the orphanage idea.

I agree.

Fear.


I've been calling for, like, one minute, 48 seconds.

Would you turn that down.

Jesus!

So Santa hasn't made it to the north pole, Machuca has disappeared, and not reported in with my pixie dust.

And this was no small load, baby.

I'm talking it was like Christmas.

The sleigh was loaded.

Mm!

That is a snooze, baby.

So, start with Machuca.

No. Take him with you.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't you start. Don't you start.

I'm not looking at you.

I'm really not going to look at you, okay?

I'm not going to look at you.

Do him later. Do him later.

I got to take this call.


Moses, listen... "1933, "Los Angeles librarian Myrtle Botts claims to have seen photos taken by an old prospector..."

Hey, like us.

"...of a serpent-necked vessel.

"Vikings, or Moroccan pirates, "sailing through a pre-desert gulf of California.

"Photos were never authenticated, but the reports were the same."

Vast amounts of gold dust, a dry salt lake.

It has to be the same ship. It has to be.

Hey, would you rather be a loved toothless wrestler, or a hated hockey player with teeth?

We're not doing this today.

And you're drifting south. We want east.

How come?

Because east is where we think the ship is.

No, how come you don't choose between the wrestler or the hockey player?

Come on. No, no, I don't want to play.

Come on. No.

And hold that course, or I'm going to have to drive.

Loved toothless wrestler, or hated hockey player with teeth?

I'd be the hated hockey player with teeth, okay?

But I would use my teeth to smile and become loved.

Cheating. You can't do that.

Whoa! Look.

What?

Hey, wait a minute.

That's not on any of our maps.

Moses, it's salt.

Is this it?

I think this is it. You think this is it?

This is it, Fink.


Fink!

Get the truck!

What is that?

See it against the rocks?

What is it? I don't know.

Right over there.


Oh, it's somebody.

I got nothing.

Moses.

It's heavy.

What?

What is it?

We should leave it.

No. No, we're not leaving it.

Then we should get out of here.

Come on, Fink.


Let him talk. Let him talk.

Where's my money, Machuca?

You got my pixie dust, so where's my money?

Oh, and where's my lost boy?

I swear, I swear I left the money, same as always.

He was dead when I got there.

Who's dead?

Santa.

Santa's dead?

I told him to no drink so much tequila.

I told him...

You killed Santa Claus, Machuca?

Ask the lost boy. The lost boy knows.

Ask the lost boy.

Okay, let's ask him, huh?

Santa always takes the lost boy and the flying machine.

I take the dust, and I leave the money in the jeep.

I swear... Answer, boy.

He walked hundreds of thousands of miles into town, Machuca?

I...I don't know. Maybe.

And I'm supposed to believe this, Machuca, yeah?

That was not my job!

That's not my job.

Because I do, Machuca.

I do believe you.

And that bothers me, Machuca. You see?

You know why?

Because I don't believe anyone, Machuca.

I don't believe anyone.

No.

So, for you, making me believe you... you're going to have to pay, Machuca.

I can't have you go on into town and be like, "You know, I tell El Guapo and he believe me."

No. No.

It's nothing personal, Machuca, but just next time... don't be so damn convincing.

Next time, Machuca.

That's a good one. Next time.

Yeah.

Okay, do you thing.

Baby, you make me some fresh Parmesan, yeah?

This stuff is stale.

Baby, you said you wanted to be a stay at home mom This was stale...

On second thought... bring him with you.

You never know.

He said.

He said!

How much is it, Fink?

Shh. I'm counting.

Pay attention. I do not want to get lost right now.

We're not going to get lost.

Fink, would you rather be a metal detector or a GPS?

Metal detector tells you where the gold is, but it wouldn't do you any good if you're lost.

So I'd be the GPS.

You're not a GPS, so be quiet.

I'm just saying, if I was one.

Wait, are you saying we're lost?

No, but if I were a GPS, I might be saying that. Okay, well, you're about as far from a GPS as you can get.

I'm aware of that.

I'm saying, if I was one. Moses, be quiet and pay attention.

We do not want to get lost right now.

Moses. Moses...

We have 310 of these.

We have 310 of these. That's... how much is that?

That's $3,100,000.

We...

Moses, where are we?

What was that?

It was a bat... I think.

Watching the headlights.

I think it was a bat. It was a bat.

No, it sounded more like a cape.

A cape? On a guy.

Like a bad guy. No, Moses, look at me.

Hey...

The bees out here make honey in the carcass of a dead animal, and these bats, they just follow the bees to the blood honey.

So the dead Santa guy...?

Oh, yeah. Lots of honey.

I'm sorry I got us lost, Fink.

Maybe we should just camp here till morning.

No, we can't. Whoever lost this money is going to come looking for it.

So the sooner we get out of here, the better.

Okay, okay. I just don't know which way to go.

Well... southwest.

How do you know that's southwest?

Venus and Jupiter.

What would I do if I didn't have you to do all the thinking? Thank you, my man.

What are... why are you... why are you doing that?

Money.

Fink and Moses are rife with it.

I did it!

That was pretty good. Now pay attention.

I did it first try.

Because you weren't overthinking it.

I focused on the cash.

Now focus on where you're going.

And I totally, totally nailed it.

Hey, now that we're rich, maybe I could become an actor again.

No, Moses. That's not a... that's not a great idea.

I bet I could buy a super-good part...

Hey, look out!


She's alive.

What do we do? Where'd she come from?

How's a kid end up... what are you doing?

We got to help her, right?

I'll get the door. Get the door.

I'll drive.

Grab her legs. Grab her legs.

She's breathing. Maybe I just barely squished her.

She's a cute kid.

Wow, look at that moon.

Fink, have you ever seen a moon like that before?

Moses...

I've never seen a moon like that.

Moses, I do not care about the moon right now.

She's cute. Don't you think she's cute?

The moon? The kid.

How does a kid wind up out here alone?

Hey, Fink, would you rather be a super-rich famous movie star with no kids, or a poor nobody with a kid?

How does that even happen?

Simple. They put too much focus on their career, and before you know it, they're old.

Moses, how does a kid wind up out here alone?

The dead Santa guy, maybe?

I don't know about that, but I'm taking the poor nobody with a kid.

Which one are you taking, Fink?

I'm not taking either, because I'm not playing.

We're not doing this right now.

Does the poor nobody have a wife?

No wife.

Okay, then I'm taking the movie star, because at least then I could get Joy Lynn to marry me.

Ah, but you couldn't have kids.

No kids ever?

Never.

Then...

I don't want to play right now. I'm not doing this.

I'm taking the poor nobody with a kid.

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.

I know where I am.

What are we doing?

Fink... Shh!

Why are we looking at our house?

Moses, our house is the only thing out here for 100 miles.

What do you bet whoever lost that money starts right there?

Wouldn't they start out by the truck and the plane where the money was?

That's a good point.

I didn't think of that.

You're probably right.

All this money and the kid got me ruffled.


Fink... I turned them right off, okay?

Was just for a second. Maybe they didn't see.

Think they can hear the engine?

Fink... Moses, would you let me get us down this mountain?

Fink, she's waking up.

Agua.

...por favor.

No, wait. No, we wouldn't do that.

Yeah, yeah, we're your friends. We want to help you.

Do you speak English?

Did El Guapo send you?

Who?

The Handsome One?

Does she mean you or me? No, no.

The drug cartel boss in Mexico.

Doggone it. Stop.

How do you know about El Guapo?

I belong to him.

They might have heard that. Doggone it.


What are you doing?

Right now, what are you doing?

No killing until you find my money and my lost boy.

Okay? And then you can have a slaughterfest for all I care.

Come on, make it happen!


How long do we have to wait?

I don't know.

He should be here by now.

Do you think the handsome one killed the guy in the truck?

And who do you think was flying the plane?

I admire that guy.

You admire a drug dealer?

The pilot's not the dealer.

He's probably some guy just like us, trying to do something great.

Moses, flying drugs over the border is not great.

Flying a plane in the dark without navigation or bathroom or snacks is brave and great in my book.

Hey, Fink, would you rather do something really brave and great just once, or live in a palace with all the money in the world?

There's no way I'm doing to do this right now.

You know what I think?

I think every person comes into this world with special particles built into their DNA.

Like pixie dust.

Pixie dust.

Doctors can't see it, because it doesn't fall into the laws of the physical world, like flesh, or blood, or bone, or time.

What's the word of something beyond time?

Eternity?

I think there are sparkling particles of eternity banging around inside each one of us, and they're programmed before we're even born to do something great and true and wonderful.

And each person's particles are specific just to him.

This is all just coming to me, Fink.

You want to hear something amazing?

For the first time in my life, I know what my dust particles are programmed to do.

You want to hear?

No. I'm supposed to save this kid and bring the handsome one to justice.

I know it. I was made for it.

It's kind of like my orphanage idea, but different.

It's perfect.

The dust, it always speaks the truth.

What are your dust particles saying, Fink?

What say you?

I don't have dust particles.

Oh, come on.

And you do wanna do something more in your life than just find a ton of money.

Or more than just wanting to marry that girl who gave you her photo a long time ago.

Joan Fairmont.

It's Joy Lynn Fairbanks.

You know that.

Of course I wanted to do something great.

Everyone does.

I wanted...

I wanted to win her heart.

That's the great thing I wanted to do.

Well, that's okay.

I thought about how to do it for a long time.

I practiced at home, in the shower mostly, for months.

And I really thought I was ready, I really did.

I...

I knew I had it in me. I knew I did.

I knew I could do it.

Do what, Fink?

Sing, opera.

Really great classical opera at the school talent show.

Something was telling... maybe it was your magical little dust devils, but something was telling me.

I had this amazing operatic voice inside of me, and all I had to do was trust it, and open my mouth, and let it out.

And I truly believed that once I started singing, Joy would look up at me, surprised, and her heard would melt with love for me.

And we'd live happily ever after.

Did you ever sing?

Uh... yeah, I did.

I walked up on that stage and the music started, and I found where she was sitting, in the back with a boy, and I looked into her eyes and I pointed right at her.

And I sang an Italian opera song.

I didn't know you spoke Italian.

I don't. I just learned the words to one song.

It didn't matter, though. Everyone started laughing, and pretty soon I couldn't hear myself over the music.

I ran off stage before the music ever finished.

Joy ever say anything?

Not really.

I mean, she and the boy ran into me in the hall once, and they both pointed at me, the way I had pointed at her, and started laughing.

I never won her heart, Moses.

I never did.

I listened to your magic dust and I failed.

Well, maybe you just didn't sing loud enough.

Maybe you didn't sing long enough. No, No No!

I failed.

Sometimes your stupid magic dust is wrong.

But... No, no, no. Shh, shh.

They're kids.

With guns.

No, no, no.


What are you doing right now?

What are you doing? Are we driving right now?

Let's go, make it happen.


Fink, you should offload some of the cash.

You could come back for it later.

No way. Everyone tries that, they never find it again.

Hey, kid, I just realized, we don't know your name.

Maggie.

That's a good name.

My name's Moses, and that's my best friend Fink.

You sure you don't want to get on my shoulders?

It's okay.

I still think we make for the dry lake bed, take the dead guy's truck and get out of there.

Moses, there's no magic trail that takes us back to that lake.

It was a fluke we found it once.

No. We got to the silver reef mine.

You got phone service there once, remember?

We call for help, we hide and we wait.

I don't like that mine. It gives me the creeps.

It's like a tomb. It's got bats. I don't like it.

That's too bad. That's where we're going.

I don't like bats.

Maggie.

Maggie, come on.

Seriously?

What do you call that?

Bullshit, that's what I call it.

Now, I want you to look me in the eye, mijo, because this is going to be the last thing you see before I rip out your eyes.

Comprende, mijo?

So guess what?

We're gonna do it again.

We're gonna... hey, you get back here or I will fry you in oil.

I think I need a man trip.

Maybe Miami.

Rocco's Tacos. Loud music, yeah!

Did you use fresh limes?

Because that's what a stay-at-home mom does.

She uses the fresh limes.

Do you think I have ADD?

Okay, everybody get back here, or else nobody's getting a Popsicle ever again, and I promise I will shoot you both.

Now, let's go. Let's dance. Yeah!

One of the men is grande.

We don't know if they have weapons!

They are prospectors.

They care solamente for the gold.

Even if they have weapons, they have no idea cómo usarlos.

They are no match for me...

You're both greedy little varmints. Mira.

If we travel all night, we could have them by morning.

Vámonos.


Anything?

No. I sent some texts to Pete with the Bureau of Land Management.

He's the only one who's ever out this far.

And my mom, of course.

You never know. They might go through.

Hey, Fink, how come you never got a phone?

I don't need a phone. You have a phone.

No, no, no. No, we have to be careful.

Ah. I don't think so.

Do you have any food?

Santa ate all the food.

I have a protein bar.

Wait. Santa?

Is he the guy in the jeep, at the lake?

He always drives us back home.

Where's home?

The hotel in Mexico.

So, who flies the plane?

I do.

You fly the plane?

El Chon teaches us when we're young.

I learned two years ago.

El Chon? What does that mean?

A big old guy.

He works for El Guapo at the hotel.

He guards all the children.

There are other children at the hotel?

Lots. El Guapo steals children.

American children, usually.

Makes it easier to cross the border.

I don't remember when he stole me.

And... and all the kids fly for Guapo?

We try, but a lot crash, so they always need more children.

What if a kid can't fly?

All lost boys fly.

That's what Guapo calls us.

He says the pixie dust makes us fly.

Pixie dust? Are you hearing this, Fink?

What do you mean, pixie dust?

Magic dust. That's how we fly.

They put it in bags and tie it to the bottom of our plane.

They tied a lot to mine on this trip.

It was very heavy.

El Guapo says the more pixie dust you have, the safer you are.

But I don't think so, because I couldn't fly very high.

Do you have any water?

Magic dust? This is no coincidence.

And my magic dust is telling me I'm going to save all these kids and kick El Chapo's buttocks.

It's Guapo. I'm coming for you, big handsome one.

Stop yelling.

Chon is the big one.

Guapo is the handsome one.

You're both big, ugly jackasses in my book.

El Guapo says as long as you have the magic dust you can't cry.

But some lost boys still do.

I don't think it's real pixie dust.

We got to save her, Fink.

We got to. Yeah, I know.

Promise me we're going to save her.

I promise.

That was the last of the water.

I know.

Fear.

The big handsome one is rife with it.


♪ Well, I have not set foot In an amusement park ♪

♪ For nigh unto a decade ♪

♪ Nigh unto a decade ♪

♪ Oh, it is what it is Because of what it is ♪

♪ Oh, because of what it is ♪

♪ Oh, because of what it is ♪

♪ But this body Was not built for calm ♪

♪ This body was built For storm ♪

♪ This body was built By bourbon, I tell you ♪

♪ By bourbon ♪

Oh, hell, what have they got themselves into now?


I got service.

Maggie?

They're here.

Who's here?

The ones who take the children.

Shh.

Listen.

Get her, quick. Get in the mine.

They were here last night. We just missed them.

They can't be that far. Let's hurry!

My mom.

In the mine!

Do you speak English or Spanish?

We know you are in there.

We know about the Lost Boy.

What did he say?

They know we're in here.

And they know about her.

Give back the girl to us, and we will not harm you.

He said they won't hurt us if we send her out.

The hell-

Shh! Shh!

Would you stop?

They're not taking her while I'm still standing.

Tell them we'll trade for the money.

Tell them, Fink.

Uh...

We do not want any harm to come to the girl.

Did you tell them?

I told them.

We have no wish to see the girl harmed either.

But we do intend to take her with us.

He doesn't want the money.

He just wants her. He said he wouldn't hurt her.

Like we can believe that.

I think he means it.

Well, does he know how much money is there?

Did you tell him?

Tell him, Fink.

We care about the girl... a lot!

I have given my word, but I will waste no more time.

He doesn't care how much it is. He said he just wants her now.

Oh, yeah?

It's okay.

I'll go.

I'll be all right. I will.

And you've been so nice to me.

I'll leave you a trail.

Thank you, Mr. Fink.

Thank you, Mr. Moses. I will never forget you.

Would you leave it?

There's no time.

Look, he comes.

He just spoke English.

And we gave her up.

They were going to kill us.

I don't care.

We gave up a little girl to save our own skins.

Wait.

What's that sound?

I don't care.

Moses...

Moses.

Moses, get up. I don't care.

Get up. Run.

This is as deep as it goes. We're trapped.


Leave it!

Would you leave it?

Come on.

Look, they left a bike.

Fink, what are you doing?

Taking his keys.

Good idea.

No keys.

Aah!

Face me!

Who are you?

What are you doing?

Hey, don't touch that.

Don't you touch that. Leave that alone.

Fink, I got it.

I see your face.

I see your face. I'm memorizing your face.

And you know what's going to happen when I memorize your...

Come on, get on, get on.

Oh!


Do you see him? Not yet. I can't get any speed.

We're going to have to ditch the cash.

No! We don't have a choice.

I'm not ditching the cash.

We'll split up. What?

We have a better chance.

We're not splitting up.

Just dump the bag. Never! Drop me there.

Up ahead. No, I don't want to.

Moses, stop, stop! No, I don't want...

Look, half of this is yours.

I don't want it.

Let's just leave it.

Nothing good has happened since we found it.

Now we're talking about splitting up.

It's bad luck, Fink. No, listen, listen.

I'm going to hide it somewhere, then we'll meet up back in town.

I'm not going back. What do you mean you are going back?

I'm not going back until I find Maggie.

That's my new quest.

That's what my magic dust is telling me to do.

I can't go with you. I'm sorry, but I can't.

What are you going to do?

He's going to be here any minute, so you got to go.

Go. And...

goodbye, Moses.

You're the best and only friend I ever had, Fink.

So this is not goodbye, okay?

We're going to see each other again soon, I promise.

As soon as I find her.

I hope so. I know so.

You know what I just realized? I don't know your first name.

Oh... Wait, I do.

From the photo.

It's Troy.

No, it's Jules.

But the photo...

Jules?

Yeah. Not Troy.

Well, Jules is a great name.

I don't know your first name either.

It's stupid.

That's... Stupid is your Christian name?

Delbert. It was my dad's name.

Oh. Delbert. Well, that actually works with Moses.

Be careful.

You too.

Jules, would you rather be...?

No, not right now.

Would you rather be a...? Moses, don't do this.

Jules, would you rather be a...? Moses, stop!

I'd rather be you.

I'd rather be you.

Jules, the dust is never wrong. Don't forget it.

You do have a great opera voice in there somewhere, whether that girl noticed you or not.

You do. You do. You do.

And if you ever get a chance to sing again, you got to do it.

Promise me you're going to do it.

Say, "I promise."

I promise.

Opera! Jules Fink is rife with it!

Look, he's coming. Go!

Go now.

I love you, Jules Fink!


Do not test me.

Okay.

Move.

You found my trail. You found it.

I knew you'd find it.

You trust this one?

Okay, what's going on?

Give him water. Fetch his bike.

Leave no trace for the dancing one.

Sit.


Oh yeah...

Are you dead, bro?

Thought you were KO'd there, man.

Need a lift?

Climb in.


Water? Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, easy, bro.

Thank you. No worries, dude.

We're just headed back to civvie.

As in, -lization.

Are you good with that?

Thank you, yes. Thank you.

Right-o.

Like I was saying, the Canyon of Sorrows.

Navajo territory.

No. Yes. One mile across.

Dude.

Figured I needed a half-mile running start.

So I lowered my goggles and hammered it.

No. Yes.

But I didn't quite clear it.

No.

I lost consciousness on impact man!

Dude.

I broke my femur, ankle, humerus, my scapula, my clavicle, my pelvis. a lot of ribs, and I was bleeding from somewhere deep within, man.

Whoa. But you know what?

What? I caught massive air!

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

I broke every vertebrae in my body.

Bro! Had a steel rod inserted into my leg.

No!

But you know what? What?

I caught massive air.

Yeah.

Boulder dam dude, 2006.

Awesome.

Impossible, you say?

Perhaps so. Let's see.

Later, dude.

Dude, I broke every bone in my body.

But you know what? Say it, bro.

I caught massive air!


That's perfect.

Hello?

Is someone here?

May we assist you, sir?

Uh, I saw the sign. I...

I thought this was a... was a...

I need a suit.

Finest tailors in the valley.

But I need it very quickly.

And I need to look very successful, Hmm. and very rich.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You're Winters and Wang.

Finest tailors in the valley, sir.

But... but we're treasure hunters too.

We followed you guys' career.

My partner and I, we were right behind you.

Uh, behind us, sir?

On your trail.

I mean, you guys found the...

Treasure of Cabeza de Vaca?

Yes. You found that. And the...

Mesa of the Bulls. Right, you found that one as well.

And also, the...

Lost Nugget Mine? Yes. Yes, you found that one.

And... The lost Dutch oven.

Yeah. Yeah.

You guys found them all.

We found nothing, sir.

But... but that's impossible.

You guys are legendary.

We are but humble tailors, sir.

No, no, we... we kept all the pictures.

We read all the articles.

Yeah, we were paid, sir. A small stipend, really.

To pose for the pictures in the desert.

But... but the treasure...

Yeah, not real, I'm afraid.

No, we saw the gold. We saw the jewels.

Fake, sadly.

Yeah, it was Midas Master Metal Detector's idea.

Using average men like us. You know, everyman.

Any man. They thought if they convinced other people we could find treasure...

Then anybody could find treasure. Ha!

And the sales of the Midas Master 3000 would go up, up, up.

But... but...

I'm just going to get your inseam here, sir.

I'll go ahead and do your neck, that's my favorite to measure.

Arm up, please. Oh, wow, I'm doing his chin.

That's a 16.

I was the first to escape.

I wandered many days in the desert before finding help from good people.

And me.

Over time, they helped us build a camp.

Trailers and gasoline, many miles from here.

How many of you are there?

Seven in all.

And three watch over the camp.

Why gold balloons?

A signal.

When the lost boy sees it they know we're near.

Will more children fly in?

Yes. Tomorrow, next week, next month.

We don't know when.

El Guapo changes the landing spot every time.

So we find very few.

The next lost boy could land hundreds of miles from here.

No, our only hope of rescuing all the children is to attack the hotel itself.

If we can cross that safely, the trail becomes very rocky and narrow.

The dancing one would have to go around that mountain range.

Who's the dancing one?

El Guapo's most prized possession.

They say he can follow even the dead.

He is ruthless and terrible.

He has no weakness, and he cannot be defeated.

If we make it to Mexico, we'll find the hotel heavily guarded.

We will need more men.

Fink will help us.

Your friend isn't coming back.

Sure he is.

Hang on, you don't know Fink.

Your friend has the bag of cash from the truck, yes?

Yeah.

Once a man has embraced that much cash and claimed it as his own, he cannot release it.

That's not true.

He offered to give it up.

I mean, how about that?

He tried to give you all the cash so we could keep Maggie.

Mr. Moses, you don't speak Spanish, do you?

Me español super bad.

Your friend never offered us the money.

But I told him what to say.

He said nothing about the cash.

He only asked that we not harm the child.

But...

He had no intention of giving up that money.

He gave up the child, and he had no way of knowing we were friends.

He would have given up you too.

That's impossible.

We should leave it.

No. No, we're not leaving it.

Fink, you should offload some of the cash.

You could come back for it later.

No way. Everyone tries that, they never find it again.

Leave it!

Fink!

Would you leave it?

We're going to have to ditch the cash.

No! Just dump the bag.

Never!

You know this to be true.

Get some rest.

We'll move again at nightfall.

You'll need this.


Make it happen. Ah!

Make it happen. Make...

What are you looking at?

Huh? What are you looking at?

There we go.

That's the face I'm looking for, baby.

Let's go, mijo, make it happen.

Let's find my money, find my lost boys, and make it happen.


Hello?

You haven't changed at all.

Not at all.

Sorry?

Joy Lynn Fairbanks?

Oh. No.

Hey, Ma.

Can I help you?

Babe, you better get down here.

Joy? Are you... this...

Do you remember me?

No.

From high school.

No.

You're not Troy Davis.

No, I'm Jules Fink.

I gave this to Troy, not you.

Troy threw it away. I've kept it ever since.

And I want you to know that I've become very successful.

And, as you can see, very rich.

And I know this is sudden, but I was wondering if you would consider...

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You're the kid that sang.

You're the kid that sang.

It's you, isn't it?

Honey, you got to see this.

He sang in front of the whole school.

It was so bad.

He can't sing... he can't sing...

Hey, were you going to sing again?

Hey, you got to hear this. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Remember me?

Yeah, you do.

Ah.

Were you going to propose, huh?

Yeah. Well, I think this is a little bit small, yeah?

Aww.

Ah, and I see... you brought my money back, huh?

Is this all my money?

Wait, that feels a little bit light, right?

I think that feels... I think that feels light.

So did you use some of my money to buy that ugly su- actually, that suit's not too bad, huh?

And... what about the ring?

Did you use my mon- don't lie to me, don't lie to me.

Did you use my money to buy that ring?

Did you? Yeah.

And then... up, up, up.

And then you have the nerve to show up to one of my homes, and then you want to ask one of my wife...

I mean, my only wife, baby.

Mwah, mwah, I love you.

...to marry you?

Get up.

Get up. Let's go.

Now, we both know that if my favorite family wasn't here right now, you'd already be dead, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, we both know you would.

So, you're going to give something a little special Yeah. Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah!

Go bye-bye now!

Now you go bye-bye.

Baby, give me that oil.

The real good stuff, for the body.


You're the best and only friend I ever had.

Did you tell them?

I told them.

I'm supposed to save this kid and bring the handsome one to justice.

The dust is never wrong. Don't forget it.

I'd rather be you.

I love you, Jules Fink!

No.

I'm coming, Moses. I'm coming.


Come in quietly.

Someone's here.


No!

Aah!


Come on.


No, no, no, no.

Moses!

Moses! Where are you?

Where are you?

Please, please help me.

Please.

No, no. I don't care about that anymore.

I just want to find my friend. Please.


If you hurt her...

Pig.

I'll kill you!

Varmint!


Hello?

Hello, please answer. Is someone there?

Hello?

Hello?

Can someone hear me?

Hello?

Is someone listening?

If you can hear my voice, my friend needs help.

He's my best friend, and if something happens to him, I got nothing.

I got nothing.


Hey, I know this song.

Oh, you got to be kidding me.

And if you ever get a chance to sing, you got to do it.

Promise me you're going to do it.

This is my chance.

I promised. I promised.

What's that?

Kill him. Kill him, mijo. Kill him.

Sing, Jules Fink. Sing.

You shut up.

Sing. Sing. Sing. Sing.

You shut up. You sh...

Sing. Sing. Sing!

Sing. Sing. Sing.


♪ Crème brûlée ♪

He's remembering.

Sing, Jules Fink.

Sing!


The kids...

Mijo, what's happening right now, mijo?

What's happening right now, mijo?

Come on, get up. Let's go.

Got some killing to do. Come on, let's go.

Make it happen.

Let's make it happen, yeah?

There we go. That's my boy.

Get up, here we go. Wait.

Wait a second, what are you doing?

No, no, no, mijo. Come on, put me down.

No, no, no, no...


Bye! Bye!


Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Is anyone there?

Hello?

Mijo?

Please.

Please, please pick up.

Please pick up. Please pick up.

Please.