Grey's Anatomy S1E4 Script

No Man's Land (2005)

[Meredith] Intimacy is a four-syllable word for, "Here are my heart and soul.

Please grind them into hamburger and enjoy."

It's both desired and feared, difficult to live with...

Excuse me! Excuse me!

[Meredith] ...and impossible to live without.

Is that my toothbrush?

[Meredith] Intimacy also comes attached to life's three R's:

Relatives, romance and roommates.


[Meredith] There are some things you can't escape.

And other things you just don't want to know.

Hello, kitty.

[siren wailing]

You don't understand. Me gonads, you ovaries.

That reminds me. We are out of tampons.

You're parading to the bathroom in your underwear when I'm naked in the shower.

Can you add it to your list. please?

What? Tampons!

To the list. It's your turn.

I am a man! I don't buy girl products!

I don't want you walking in while I'm in the shower, and I don't want to see you in your underwear.

It doesn't bother me, OK?

Look at me in my underwear, George.

Take your time. It's no big deal.

[car alarm activating]

You are the first person they see in the morning.

You say please. You say thank you.

You apologize for waking them up.

You make them feel good about you.

Why is that important?

'Cause then they'll talk to you and tell you what's wrong.

Why is that important?

Because then you can tell your attending what they need to know during rounds.

And why is that important?

Because if you make your resident look bad, she'll torture you until you beg for your mama.

Now get out there. I want pre-rounds done by 5:30 am.

Morning, Dr. Model. Dr. Evil Spawn.

Nice tat.

They airbrush that out for the catalogs?

I don't know. What do they do for the 666 on your skull?

I'd better get good patients today.

Yesterday I had two guys with colostomies who needed dressing changes every 15 minutes.

I'm gonna be in surgery. Today's my day.

On what? Like I'd tell you.

What do you know?

I know I was here at 4:00, and you didn't get here till 4:30.

Tell me.


I'm not the intern who's screwing an attending.

I am not screw...

You're here early.

I have chordotomy at 5:00. I'm out at 6:00.

I might buy you breakfast before rounds.

I've already eaten. What'd you have?

None of your business. You a cereal person?

Straight out of the box? Or all fruit and fiber-y?

Pancakes? Do you like pancakes.

Fine, leftover grilled cheese. Curiosity satisfied?

That's sad. It's pathetic.

A good day starts with a good breakfast.

Look, I'm not being seen with you in this hospital.

Learn it, live it. It's unprofessional.

Think of it as an attending getting to know one of his interns.

He slept with the intern. Barely knew her.

And it should stay that way.

You want me to be professional? I'll be professional.

That's what I want. That's what you get.

You're gonna be late for your chordotomy.

Nice talking to you, Dr. Grey.

Anyone seen the floor chart on the new admission?

[door banging]

You always come in like that, bang the light on?

You're Elizabeth Fallon? What does my chart say?

It says you used to be a nurse here.

A scrub nurse. And you have abdominal mass consistent with pancreatic cancer.

And you are hoping they're gonna give me a Whipple.

Pancreatic duodectomy.

This hospital sees those one...

Maybe once every six months.

That's why you got here at 4:30, huh?


Grabbed my chart before anybody else could see it.

Impress Dr. Burke with your pre-round exam so you'd be the logical intern for him to ask to scrub in.

I know all the tricks, doctor.

Yang. Cristina Yang.

I'll call you Cristina.

You call me Nurse Fallon.

Mr. Humphrey?

Mr. Humphrey, I'm sorry to wake you.

Come on.

What time is it?

Ten after 5:00.

I'm sorry. I just need to do a brief exam.

If you could sit up for one moment.


This might be a little bit cold, so just take a deep breath.

If you could just take a deep breath.

You're not a doctor.

I'm Dr. Stevens. You can call me Izzie.

I'll be helping Dr. Bailey with your biopsy.

No, I don't think so, no.

Mr. Humphrey, this will just take a moment.

No, get me Dr. Bailey or Dr. Victor.

I just need to do a brief... You don't need to do anything.

Is this you?

Huh? Is this you?

It is, isn't it?

You know, get out of my room.

Mr. Humphrey... Get out of my room.

[George] There need to be some rules.

So, what, we can walk around in our underwear on alternate Tuesdays, or you could see bras but not panties?

Or are you talking Amish rules?

Because if you think you're gonna get Izzie to cover herself...

The amount of flesh exposed is not the point.

You have to do something. It's your house.

It's my mother's house. Meredith...

Do you like Izzie? Is that what this is about?

Do you have a crush on Izzie? Izzie? No. I don't like Izzie.

Izzie... No.

I... She's not the one I'm attracted to.

Not the one. So there's a one.

This is not...

Look, there just have to be some rules.

O'Malley, Grey, get Karev and head down to Trauma.

Shepherd needs you.

Shepherd's in surgery. He got pulled before he could start.

[elevator bell dinging]

[monitor beeping]

Those look like...


I can't see my hands. Oh, my God. He's conscious.

Breathe deeply, George. You won't pass out.

Use four milligrams of morphine. Titrate up to ten.

[Derek] You know what? I don't want him to move.

I can't see. It's OK.

We need you to be still, Mr...

Cruz, Jorge Cruz. He tripped and fell down a flight of stairs holding a nail gun.


Somehow he managed to miss a blood vessel.

That's a minor miracle. Optic nerve's been affected.

Can you feel this? Numbness on his right side.

What's our immediate concern? Infection.

[Derek] I wanna pull these nails out in the next half-hour.

Need a CT. CTs are down.

What? Exchanged them last night.

Computer's crashed, back up by 1:00.

What are the options?

An MRI. No.

Brilliant, man's got nails in his head. Let's put him in a giant magnet.

You want films from three axis points and a C-arm in surgery.

Excellent, you guys dig up research and find out if this has ever happened before.

Go. My wife. My wife, my wife.

She's on her way. You wife is on the way, Mr. Cruz.

Stay with him, keep him calm and look for changes.

I can't see.

[Cristina] Fifty-five-year-old woman with adenocarcinoma of the pancreas.

Has had radiation therapy to reduce the tumor load.

Rates her abdominal pain three out of ten.

Positive nausea, but no vomiting.

Diarrhea, hematochezia, melena, afebrile with T-max 37-2 and stable vital signs.

Lab significant for a total ability of seven and elevated liver enzymes.

Thank you, Dr. Yang.

Aggressive little witch, isn't she?

She stole my chart during pre-rounds so she could scrub in on my surgery.

She's hoping for a Whipple.

Actually, Liz, I was gonna give you to Meredith Grey.

Ellis's daughter?

Yes, she's an intern this year.

Thought you'd have something to talk about.

I doubt that.

I was Ellis's scrub nurse for 18 years, practically lived with that woman.

I didn't meet that daughter once.

Anyway, Shepherd has her on the guy with the nails in his head.

There's a guy with nails in his head?

Seven of them.

Shot himself in the head with a nail gun.

"Nail" nails?

Sixteen pennies, three and a half inches long.

And he's still alive? Fully conscious.

Should be a pretty interesting surgery.

But I guess you've got the Whipple.

I'm gonna need a full blood work-up and abdominal CT.

CTs are down this morning.

Then an MRI.

She needs an enema, an ERCP for a stent and brush biopsy this afternoon.

Take care of her. Liz is an institution around here.

Good call, doctor.

Grey's got the human two-by-four, and you have the institution in need of an enema.

You'd say your health's been good recently?

Maybe some headaches.

Nothing compared to now.

Sona, that's my wife.

Sona, she'll say, "Why you think they call it a gun, moron?"

She hates the damn things.

With good reason.

Baby? [Jorge] Sona.

You are in so much trouble.

Get a history from her before you scrub in.

OK. Thank you.


People have been accidentally shot in the head with nails 23 times.

One was attempted suicide, doesn't count.

So he pointed a nail gun at his head on purpose?

That makes me feel better.


Grey and Stevens really walk around in their underwear?

Not all the time.

I mean, some of the time, you know.

But not all the time.

Sexy underwear?

Yeah. I mean...

[Alex] And they just, let you look at them?


Like sisters.

No, not like sisters.

I don't think of them as sisters.

But they're not coming on to you.

Not exactly. They don't expect you to do anything.



Like sisters.

Just like sisters.

Is he prepped?

I think they're doing it right now.

You think?

He's having a prostate biopsy.

Trust me. If you'd been in there, you'd know.

[Miranda] OK, Mr. Humphrey. We're gonna get started.

Get her out of here.

I want her out of here! Just get her out of here!

Just you go! Now! Just go now!

Hey, relax! Relax, Mr. Humphrey.

[Sonja] Will he be able to see again?

We won't know until the nails come out.

Did he tell you he takes photos?

Beautiful photos. It's his hobby.

I just got him a new digital camera, and now he can't stop, you know?

He always has it out, always taking pictures of me.

Jorge said he's been having headaches.

Can you tell me about them? Have they been recent?

I'm not sure. Maybe the last couple of months.

Have you seen him experience any dizziness or disorientation?

Yes, yes, I have.


You want to tell me what that was all about?


He's probably just crazy or something.

Bethany Whisper.

What? Bethany Whisper.

I did a new Bethany Whisper lingerie ad.

He saw it in a magazine. You got time to pose for magazines?

No, the shoot was last year. It just came out.

So because he saw you in a thong... It wasn't a thong.'re hiding in the hallway.

I just think it might be easier if you assign another intern.

Easy is not in your job description. You are a doctor. He is a patient.

He's your patient. Biopsy these.

If they come back positive, I expect to see you in surgery.

Hey, you're on this. You understand me?

Vertiginous or light-headedness? Light-headed.

Sometimes he'd have to brace himself to get out of bed.

Could be a million things. Simple orthostasis.


What made him fall with a nail gun?

He said he tripped.

Just because you hear hoofbeats, don't assume zebras.

Something caused him to lose consciousness and fall down the stairs.

He could have a tumor.

Look, I have no idea why this guy's still alive, let alone moving and talking.

Not a clue. Let's just get him through this before we start digging around for something else.

Shepherd. Twenty-three cases? One was attempted suicide.

That doesn't count. Talk to me about procedure.

Biggest problems are bleeding and infection.

Odds improved with shorter surgery.

Bottom line was get them out quickly and watch for bleeding.

I got it. Other words, I'm on my own.

You coming?

Dude, I don't need an escort.


Go ahead.

[receiver clicking]

Well, well, well.

Dr. Bethany Whisper.

That's so nice.



She had this thing for red when we met.

Red car, red dresses, red hats.

Personally, I hated the color.

Too obvious, you know?

But a couple years ago, I took her up to the mountains.

She was in a red dress, and there was this field of red... poppies, I think.

And she jumped out of the car and ran into them and started laughing... laughing at all the red.

The good news is it hasn't spread from his prostate to his lymph nodes.

With a radical prostatectomy, we could probably get it all.

Good prognosis. Spare some nerves?

Give him a chance at a normal sex life?

Young puppies like to take chances with cancer.

Old dogs like me, we do what works.

Yes, sir, of course.

We on the schedule tomorrow? 10:00 am.

Good. Maybe I can squeeze in a round.

An ass who deals in asses.

We call him "Limp Harry." He never spares the nerves.

[Richard] As you can see, the patient has shot seven nails directly into the skull without doing significant damage other than the optic nerve, and we may be able to save that.

The idea is to remove the nails at exactly the angle they entered.

Any wiggle, and we risk doing more damage than when they went in.

[Cristina] Where are they? Move over.

They're just pulling them out.

Hey, I heard you got a Whipple. A maybe Whipple.

Burke is running my butt off.

Oh, man. Look at those films!


It's Hellraiser.

[woman] Maybe try to an 87.

[man] Small increase, then it will stabilize.

Gelfoam. Here you go.

There goes the third grade.

[Preston] Dr. Yang...

did you put in the blood work?

Right before I got here.

Take her to Radiology for the MRI.

Beep me when you're done.

You want the Whipple, right?


[door opening]

Hey. Hey.

Here. My share of the grocery money.

When are you going? Tonight.

Seriously, George. Please don't...

[Preston] Yeah, could we not talk about it here?

What, tampons?

Did you not hear a word I said?

You're a man. We know.

Talk about shrinking the salamander.

I always divided surgeons into two categories:

Those that remember the names of their patients and those who didn't.

They all remember their surgeries, of course.

Every damn suture.

But the good ones remember the names, right?

I didn't say that.

Now, some of the best ones, you know, distance themselves on purpose.

They believe that the personal stuff clouds the medicine.

Hi, Liz. Hey.

But? I'm waiting for the "but."

I'm sure there's a big, fat qualifier coming.

Hey, Liz. Hey!

Looking good.

You liar.

How you doing, honey?

Fabulous. Just fabulous.

Hey, Liz. [Liz] Hey.

Hey, Liz.

Bleeding? It's clean.

All right. Way to go, team.

Good job, everybody. Thank you.

[Derek] I don't think we made it worse.

The big question is the optic nerve.

We'll know in the morning.

Should I order the MRI?

He needs to stabilize. We'll do it tomorrow.

[man] One of the most amazing things I ever saw.

Is it over? Hey, is it over?

Yeah, it's over.

Hey, does Burke have a Whipple scheduled?

[Cristina] Dr. Burke, I wanted to know if you've seen Nurse Fallon's labs.

I have. They're getting worse.

The stent doesn't seem to be helping her jaundice.

[Preston] No.

Should we be doing something? We are.

I noticed you didn't have the Whipple on the board.

Do you want me to schedule it for you?

I want to see the results of her biopsy, and have a look at her overnight labs.

Overnight? You're on-call, right?

Sure, yeah.

Good. Stick with her.

You're doing the surgery, right? You're still doing the Whipple?

The woman has pancreatic cancer, Dr. Yang.

We're gonna do something.



[Liz] Kiss the baby for me. [woman] Get some sleep, Liz.

OK. Good night.

[woman] See you later, hon.

Bye-bye. [man] Bye-bye, Liz.

Bye-bye. Take care. Yeah.

[woman 1] I'll catch up with you guys later.

[woman 2] I'm gonna check later.

Your mom's a bigger woman.

You were her scrub nurse.

Liz Fallon. Come in.

Meredith Grey.

She wanted me to send her regards.

That doesn't sound like her.

Excuse me?

The Ellis Grey I know didn't have regards for anyone except Ellis Grey.

But you know that already, don't you?

Where is she now?


Traveling? Yeah.

Is she practicing?

Not so much.

Doesn't sound like her, either.

She was all work, just like me.

She never left the hospital.

But you know that, too, don't you?

Is she well?

She's fine.


Just wanted to send her regards.

Take care. Yeah.

[Meredith] I think these were taken at the old house.

There's you in your scrubs.

Who is that?

That's Dad.


Your husband. Thatcher Grey.

You called him Thatch.


That's the red wagon he got me for my birthday.

I'm about four years old in this photo.

This is your family.

Sure, sure.

I saw Liz Fallon at the hospital today.

[laughing] Liz. I love her.

How is she?

Is she still a scrub nurse?

She was excellent.

[Izzie] I reminded you before you went.

[George] I forgot when I got there.

No, no. You were so passive-aggressive.

Naked. I am naked in the shower.

They're just tampons, George. I really needed tampons.


I'm not riding in the same car with him.

Unless you're going like that, you're not riding with me.

Where are the tampons? He didn't buy them.

[Meredith] You didn't buy them?

Men don't buy tampons.

You know what? You are gonna have to get over the man thing, George.

We're women! We have vaginas! Get used to it.

I am not your sister!

[clearing throat]

Grilled cheese again?

Cold pizza.

Is he awake? Even better.

Really? Let's see what his nurse says.

Hi, Sona, Jorge. How are you this morning?

Tell them what color my dress is, Jorge.

I'd know the answer to that even if I couldn't see.

We can go over there and check it out...

It's not a problem at all.

[man] Let's do it.

I'm taking the elevator. You take the stairs.

I was going to, anyway.


Hold it.

Thank you.


[Liz] You don't wake a patient like that.

What do I have to do to get through to you?

Cut me some slack.

I was on call last night. I didn't get much sleep.

Stop whining.

You'd rather be here, and you know it.

What you got waiting for you at home?



A girlfriend?


A pet? Family?

A bed.

We got plenty of beds here.

I don't feel sorry for you.

[Liz] This is who we are. This is our lives.

You tell her, Dr. Burke.

Can I talk to you?

Hey, come on, come on, come on!

Let's go. What's going on?

Excuse me. What's going on?

George, stop.


Oh, my God.

We have Bethany Whisper in our locker room.

Boy, I guess they do airbrush out the tattoo, don't they?

You want to see it?

You really want to see it?


Let's look at that tattoo up close and personal, shall we?

And what are these? Oh, my God! Breasts!

How does anybody practice medicine hauling these things around?

And what do we got back here?

Let's see if I remember my anatomy.

Glutes, right?

Let's study them, shall we?

Gather around and check out the booty that put Izzie Stevens through med school.

Have you had enough or should I continue?

Because I have a few more very interesting tattoos.

You want to call me Dr. Model?

That's fine.

Just remember that while you're sitting on 200 grand of student loans...

I'm out of debt.

I'll take them down. Don't bother.


Can you tell me what you had for breakfast on Monday?

Cheese omelet.

And on Sunday.

And on Saturday.

And on Friday.

Sona gets up every morning and makes me a cheese omelet.

It's the only thing he likes.

It's the only thing you know how to cook.

Things look good.

But I need Jorge to get an MRI this morning to check for residual bleeding.


This is who I was.

It has nothing to do with who I am now.

I'm a physician, a surgeon.

And I am just as qualified as any other intern on this floor.

So, you're just gonna have to get over your chauvinist crap and allow me to do my job.

I'm sure you're a very good doctor.

Then what is your problem?


I fantasized about you... about the woman in this photo, whoever she is.

I'm not proud of it, but it's a fact.

Do you know what they're gonna do to me today?

I have cancer.

And they're gonna lift up my legs and expose me to the world and cut out my prostate and my nerves, effectively neuter me.

So, is it so hard to understand that I don't want the woman who's in that photo to witness...

my emasculation?

Have you seen her overnight labs? I have.

Did you check her liver panel? They're not good.

No, they suck. She's choking on bile.

She's jaundiced. A very sick woman.

Why haven't you scheduled the Whipple?

Are you a surgeon now?

I'm her cruise director, pushing her around all day.

The woman is circling the drain. We need to do something.

I'll take a look at her biopsy.

Screw the biopsy.

Dr. Yang... Enough.

You know, I... I... You know what I think?

I think you never intended to do the Whipple.

I think this entire thing has been bull, and you're behaving like the only reason she's in this hospital is to die.

[Derek] There. That's a tumor.

It's midline near the hypothalamus.


Best practice, probably to remove the tumor.

"Probably" because I can't get it all.

Ninety-nine percent, but not all of it.

Radiation and chemo, you're looking at maybe five to ten good years.

Let's do it.

You haven't heard the downside.

See, the tumor is located in a part of your brain where your memory and your personality resides.

And because of the fuzzy edges of this type of tumor, I have to cut out a lot.

Jorge, you stand a good chance of losing your memories, of losing who you are.

[Sona] Is there any other way?

The alternative is gamma or cyberknife treatment with focus radiation.

It's less evasive.

There's little chance of memory loss or him losing himself, but it would only give Jorge maybe three to five years.

Three to five years?

[Derek] This is an incredibly difficult decision.

If you have any more questions or you need to talk to me, I'm here, OK?


[Meredith] I told my mother about you.

She remembers you very well.

Of course she would.

Ellis Grey never forgot a thing.

I'm sorry. It's not really funny.

It's not funny, but...

What's her diagnosis?

Alzheimer's, early onset.

And she doesn't want anyone to know.


She's in a nursing home, and I'm the only person she'll allow to see her.

But if I know Ellis Grey, she made the nursing home sign a contract to that effect.

You know my mother well.

What a bitch.

[both laughing]

[Izzie] The woman's life was this hospital.

It was her home. It's a sweet thing for them to do.

It's a waste of a bed, and it's a waste of my time.

Who are we talking about?

Liz Fallon. They brought her here to die.

Wouldn't you want the same thing for you?

No, you know what? I'd want the doctors to do everything they could.

I want them to cut me open until the minute I die.

Sometimes doing everything can be worse than nothing.

You are eight feet tall.

Your boobs are perfect.

Your hair is down to there.

If I were you, I would walk around naked all the time.

I wouldn't... I wouldn't have a job.

I wouldn't have skills. I wouldn't even know how to read.

I'd just be... naked.

It's makeup. It's retouching.

You get that we hate you, right?

[pager beeping]

Bailey again.

You know what? Any patient who spanks to his doctor's pictures forfeits his rights.

You're seriously not gonna give up the prostatectomy, are you?


Forget it.

You know, sometimes it is actually, you know, painful to be around you.

Where the hell have you been?

When I page, you answer. It's not that difficult to understand.

O'Malley answered his page. He's doing your prep.

If I hear the words Bethany Whisper one more time...

I can't, OK?

I just... can't.

He doesn't want me in there.

No, what he wants is to not have cancer.

What he wants is to be saved.

You want to stay in the scrub room, that's your choice.

All right.

I'll do my best.

Jorge and Sona want the surgery.

They want you to cut it out?

It's their decision.

[monitor beeping steadily]

[breathing heavily]

They were never gonna operate.

You could have told me.

[Liz] What fun would that have been?

Think of it as a hazing ritual.


Liz, don't talk. Don't talk.

[raspy breathing]

Liz, just...

[machine beeping rapidly]

Liz? Liz, stay... Liz, stay with me.

Stay with me, Liz.

[beeping continues]

[alarm beeping]


Let's go.

Right... right down. Here we go. Bag her.

Push epi and atropine. You got it.

Somebody page Burke.

[man] I'll start ventilation. Start that line.

She's DNR. One, two...

She's DNR. Do not resuscitate! Dr. Yang!

Come on, people! Push another epi! Come on!

You need to consider what you'll lose.

What good is five years if he doesn't joke about your omelets and he can't remember seeing you in that red dress?

It's still five more years.

You don't understand.

He'll be there, but he won't be Jorge.

He won't even recognize you. This is our business.

You have no idea what this will do to you.

Isn't five good years better than ten bad ones?

What the hell are you doing?

She needs to understand. I do understand.

You think that I'm being selfish, that I don't want to give him up.

I don't. This is Jorge's decision.

And if that means ten bad years for me, fine.

I'll give him those years because I will give him whatever he wants.

Look, I am so sorry, Sona. Just please forgive her.

[Sona] And if he doesn't remember me, if he doesn't remember what we are, he's still my Jorge.

And I'll remember for us both.

OK, all right.

[Cristina] Five, breathe, one, two. What the hell are you two doing?

We lost pulse. [Preston] Let her go.

Where's that epi? Let her go!

She's DNR. Let her go down.

Four, five.

One, two...

Do not resuscitate.

It is on her chart. All right!

Let her go down.

Let her go down.

[machine flat-lining]

[Bailey] the lab again?

Where are they?

He's resecting the prostate, coming up on the distal nerve.

You said, "I am not your sister."

Do you feel like I was emasculating you?

No. No.

I'm too masculine to be emasculated.

I'm sorry.

Guess you put Dr. Model to rest.

I guess I did.

Dr. Victor, I'm sorry. But these are viable nerves.

We should save them.

It'll take at least an hour longer, and we might not get it all.

[Izzie] You know, they call him Limp Harry.

[Bailey] But his prognosis with chemo is nearly as good.

Frankly, if you're worried about missing your tee time, I'd be more than happy to finish.

Dr. Stevens.

[Victor] Can we help you?

I'm sorry, Dr. Bailey. Dr. Victor, I agree with her.

You just can't...

You have to save the nerves.

What? The nerves, you have to save them.

Dr. Stevens, I can handle this.

You told me the most important thing is giving the patient what they want.

What Humphrey wants is his erection.

She's yours. You get her out.

Can't do that, sir.

You know how these young puppies are.

I'm going to tell Richard about both of you.

You do that. In the meantime, let's pretend it's you on this table and give this a try.

[monitor flat-lining]

Dr. Pinosky.

You ever called one?


Call it, doctor.

Time of death, 11:43.

[Meredith] I wish there were a rule book for intimacy.

Some kind of a guide that could tell you when you've crossed the line.

You can't lose it like that.

[Meredith] It would be nice if you could see it coming.

I'll get her.

Let her go.

[Meredith] And I don't know how you fit it on a map.

We have to let her go.

Of course, now you know every time he gets a rise, he'll be thinking of you.

[Meredith] You take it where you can get it...

and keep it as long as you can.

[Meredith] And as for rules...

Better not be using my toothbrush.

I'm not.

[Meredith] Maybe there are none.

Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.