Old Scars, Future Hearts (2018)
♪ Every kiss is a door ♪
♪ Can I knock on yours? ♪ Hey, did you get any sleep?
I was up all night trying to figure out why Cerone hated Ellis.
They were friends, respected colleagues.
Listen to this...
"Marie's hepatico-J technique is fascinating...
We were up again all night talking and drinking."
MEREDITH: On average, a healthy heart beats 115,000 times per day.
And she knew about Richard.
"MC says I'm better off without RW.
He was just a distraction from work."
Maybe she hated Richard.
Maybe she was in love with Ellis.
Maybe there's a whole other love triangle that I don't know about.
When excited, the heart rate can double.
Are you listening to me?
Um... uh, y... ah, no.
I'm just... I'm a little distracted today.
I'll say. You just buttered the kitchen towel, and your shirt is on inside out.
Is this about Clive? Because I told you that wasn't your fault.
Stupid, awful, married Clive.
Where did you sleep?
Didn't yet. Going to now.
The heart pumps 2,000 gallons of blood through your entire body 24 hours a day.
It never rests.
KORACICK: [SINGSONG VOICE] Morning.
Shall I whip us up some mean frittatas or do the slut-rush home?
Second option, please?
Pretty sure you're hungry.
Can you take my robe off?
Oh, dessert before breakfast... I like it.
No, I mean, take off my robe, put some clothes on, and leave my home.
I have to vomit, and I prefer to do it in private.
♪ Never let it go, baby ♪
♪ Let it give you life ♪ The heart is the hardest-working muscle in your body.
But when it's damaged, it's just like skin.
Hey! God, you had a late night.
Yeah, I wanted to keep an eye on Kimmie, but I told Pierce I'd assist on a case, so...
I'm gonna head back.
Oh, the Dor procedure? I'm on that, too. Yay!
I feel like I haven't seen you all week.
And scar tissue can be very dangerous in a heart.
It weakens it.
What's this? Oh, fellowship instructions for next year.
UC San Francisco?
I know. They're ranked in the top 2% in the country.
Ambitious, but I'm applying everywhere.
It's what you do, right? You coming?
And eventually, a heart full of scars stops working.
So, basically, I excise the scarred part of the heart, and then reshape the ventricular cavity geometry, and then sew in a Dacron patch, which sounds easy, but this kid's left ventricle is completely scarred.
A Dor surgery requires mastery.
You should send the interns to the gallery to watch.
Oh, forget them.
I'm rearranging my meetings, so I can watch.
[CHUCKLES] They'll just block my view.
[CHUCKLES] Well, the interns are away taking their, uh, in-training exams.
Even better. Their loss.
Have someone page me when you're headed to the O.R.
Oh, uh... [CHUCKLES]
You all right?
Yeah, I'm grood, I'm grood. I'm good.
[LAUGHING] I'm not grood.
That's a cross between great and good.
Hmm. Yeah. People say that.
Um, how you feeling about that date tonight?
Because I am a surgeon, and I hold human hearts in my hands, and I cannot risk buttering the wrong ventricle.
You're doing what to the... ventricle?
I'm saying that I need to focus today.
I have a major surgery on a kid and... [SIGHS]
...I need to give that my exclusive focus and... you make my hands shake.
Got it. Yes. Sorry.
I can't drink this. What am I carrying it for?
Are you watching me walk away?
What's his BNP?
Uh, it's 750 and that's after diuresis.
And his ejection fraction is at 30%, which is why we have to do this today.
Do you have any questions before the surgery?
This surgery shall slay the dragon forevermore?
He means the ECMO machine.
They call it "the dragon."
Because dragons can be slain.
By the right knight at the right moment, they can always be slain.
That makes you his knight in shining armor.
[CHUCKLES] And you are?
I'm his knight in shining other-armor.
[CHUCKLES] That's very poetic.
Well, it is my most fervent hope that we will slay this ECMO dragon today.
You don't have to play along with their "costume play."
It just encourages them.
We're young and in love, fair mother of mine.
We need all the encouragement we can get.
[SOFTER] And it's called cosplay.
In love is great, but I miss when you only wore costumes on Halloween.
Why should the world be dull and lifeless 364 days of the year?
That's why he's the master of my heart.
[SIGHS] First love, right?
♪ Are you ticklish, Alex? [GIGGLING]
Okay, stop, no. We have to focus, okay?
So, the thin, flexible barrier around a cell is called the...
Why don't we just study later?
Because you have a test.
Yeah, well... I kind of took it this morning.
W... Are you serious?
[LAUGHING] No, you did not. Yeah.
Then what are we doing here?
I wanted to see you.
I thought we could discuss business over doughnuts.
I brought you chocolate-frosted, your favorite, but I also brought almond croissants in case your tastes have matured.
Or we can feed it to the mouse.
Why did you pretend everything is okay and not mention that you've had a falling out with my mother?
I didn't pretend anything.
You waltzed in here like it's a family reunion, and now you're plying me with sugar like I'm a child.
My affection for you has nothing to do with your mother.
Yes, we had a falling out, but I thought you knew.
Well, I didn't.
So now I need you to tell me why you're really here.
Darling, you reached out to me...
Are you even going to let me license the patent?
Whatever happened between you and my mother, it's... it has nothing to do with me, so please let's not let a petty disagreement get in the way of what could be a landmark medical breakthrough.
There is nothing petty here, Meredith.
Are you interested in my story or only your own?
Hey. I ran a blood gas, CBC, and BMP, and I corrected Charlie's magnesium and potassium levels.
Are you seriously mad about this?
You... You have been silent, and you've barely looked at me since you saw my applications.
You did the same thing your fifth year.
I know you applied to half of the same places!
Which is why I didn't say anything.
Go ahead and do what you want.
Change of plans. UNOS called.
There is a donor heart in Oregon for Charlie Peterson.
So, the Dor procedure's now a transplant.
You... Which is a good thing, right?
This was my Michelangelo moment.
But we're saving a kid's life!
And we're... we're giving him a chance at love, and I am a terrible person.
Love? I was promised mastery.
Now I have to go do paperwork.
I've been on the list for three years without a single call, and the day I'm supposed to get the Dor, they find me a match?
It's poetic, right?
Meant to be. Just like us.
No, thank you.
I want the surgery I came here for on my own heart, if you please, brave knight.
The Dor procedure... while very, very cool... is not a permanent solution.
It would just buy us more time.
The heart transplant is what we've been waiting for, honey.
That was before. Before what?
This scarred heart of mine fell in love with Henry.
What if the new heart doesn't love him?
That's not how it works. Love has nothing to do with the heart.
Tell that to every poet in the history of the world.
Adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin are the chemicals in your brain telling you that you love Henry.
And brain chemicals eventually fade. They always do.
I know you think we're foolish because you're old and jaded.
But this love is exquisite and I'm not gonna risk it... even if it only lasts one more year.
That's, like, so sweet it hurts.
Brave knight, I beg of you, slay the dragon you came here to slay, and give the new heart to someone else.
Charlie, if you decline this heart, you're just going to get sicker and sicker until you can only look at your boyfriend through a hospital window.
Do you think that's romantic? Do you?
Because it's not. It's stupid. Just give me the papers.
You'll drug him if you have to, but he's getting that heart.
Mom, no! Can we just, um...
Can we have a little time?
There is no time. The heart will go to someone else.
A few minutes alone.
Can you give us that?
We'll need a yes or a no soon.
And if Charlie says no, he risks being off the transplant list for good.
Charlie, first love usually hurts.
It's not supposed to actually kill you.
♪ No! Damn it!
Hey! Stop! You can't do this.
I wasn't doing anything illegal.
Parking tickets. You got to pay them.
I'm going to pay them!
I... I promise. Just...
Tell them I'll be five. Give me a break! I...
I can give you 20 bucks.
MAN: Let's go.
Hey, sir, come on, dude. She's... She's still in the car.
For the inconvenience.
That's a rough way to start your day.
I'll see you in Physics.
MAGGIE: First love is the worst.
Mine had a 5:00 shadow, and he smelled like formaldehyde... Steve.
My Gross Anatomy lab partner with cadaver Leonard.
I know you're not supposed to name your cadavers, but...
Uh, we all did.
Mine was Mort, after rigor mortis.
Alex, did you name yours?
I named him "Road Kill." It was a major bromance.
STEVE: We should give him a name.
[CHUCKLES] You like it?
I just think we should show him a little respect, you know?
Okay, so, have you ever, uh, you know, cut a person before?
No, it's my first time.
It's my first time, too.
I guess that makes us "first-cut virgins."
You go. You start. It's your first time.
Why don't we do it together?
HENRY: Doctors, he's ready for surgery.
You talked him into it?
No. I broke up with him.
What?! You what?
The cosplay and poetry and all that is fun, but I just can't be with someone who doesn't believe in science.
You were right. It's not sweet.
It's just stupid.
♪ And it was only natural for me to hope you'd come around ♪ You can take a minute.
Just do it.
Sedate me. Cut out my heart.
It doesn't matter anymore.
♪ ...Forget them ♪
♪ You know things could be so easy if you'd let them ♪ MEREDITH: So, you're saying that you and my mother created her laparoscopic biliary reconstruction together?
Yes. But she won her second Harper Avery for it.
Ellis was a genius.
I don't dispute that. No one would.
But that award did not belong only to her.
That award was ours.
I am just supposed to believe you, Marie?
Where's the proof?
Well, that's all the proof that you need.
I was gonna publish our work together, and Ellis did it first.
Without sharing the credit.
You could've just written this last night.
But I didn't.
And you know I didn't.
Meredith, I never married.
I never cared much for romantic relationships.
I... My closest thing to having children was you.
My friendship with your mother was the greatest love of my life and when she betrayed me, it was unimaginably painful.
I went home, I ran my father's company, I never returned to the United States or to my surgical practice.
She broke me.
♪ And I don't wanna lose you now, or ever ♪ Do you ever think maybe you gave her too much power?
♪ I'm sure that's true.
But now I believe I have a right to the work that your mother stole from me.
I believe I was meant to be more in this life and the person that I trusted the most in this world took that from me.
So if you want my patent, you must make a public statement that the Ellis Grey Procedure is now the Grey-Cerone Procedure.
♪ ...Ever ♪ It's up to you.
♪ No, I don't wanna lose you now ♪
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
MEREDITH: Is it true?
Was my mother's second Harper Avery inspired by a stolen idea?
Look, all I heard were... Rumors, yes, you've said.
But you didn't think this was worth mentioning?
Inspiration is intangible.
It comes in flashes.
I mean, people give you pieces.
Something Maggie said about a... a magic wand inspired my cancer pen.
But if I win that contest, it will not be the Webber/Pierce pen.
It'll be mine.
Meredith, I didn't tell you about the rumors because I don't believe they're true.
And it's not up to you to undo your mother's legacy when she's not here to defend her side of the story.
♪ We're gonna put you under now. Are you ready?
[WHISPERING] Charlie, you have to vow that you're going to survive.
Because you have to fight for Henry.
True love survives arguments.
Sometimes it even survives break-ups, so you have to live, and then you have to fight for him.
♪ APRIL: Why are you still here?
Looking for food, but this is just vodka, baby food, and questionable cheese.
Do you like paella? There's a great place a few blocks away that, uh, we can...
Are you stalling to see if we'll have sex again?
No, but I... I like the way you're thinking.
Except paella isn't sex food.
I'll just have this road-yogurt, then I'll go.
You have a daughter.
I'm gonna say...
Judging by the toys ruining your decor, I'm gonna say 2-ish.
Please don't do that.
Feign an interest in me to get me back into bed.
I will probably go back to bed with you regardless
'cause you're pretty good at sex.
Hmm. So, conversation is not necessary.
Well, thank you for the "pretty good."
It's an understatement, but I'll take it.
And I'm not feigning anything. This is... fascinating.
Yeah? What is?
Well, when I met you, months ago, Amelia Shepherd had given you her Power of Attorney.
She trusted you with her life.
You remember that?
We barely spoke.
Oh, I'm incredibly observant.
And... And... Oh.
Look... l-look at your home, here.
Fun toddler detritus, lots of light, warmth, books.
The woman I met last night?
[CHUCKLING] She doesn't live here. Mm?
And she's not a person you trust with a Power of Attorney.
I'm not sure I should trust you with my... penis again.
That woman scares me a little.
In a "pretty good" way, but, uh...
How did that woman become this woman?
I'm not gonna get into this with you.
Uh, no... No, no, no. No, no. No, no, no.
L... No. Let me do it.
Okay. Oh, yeah.
No? Uh... physical trauma?
Uh... dead relative.
Uh, dead beloved TV-show character.
Oh, my God. None of these?
Okay, that leaves, um, metal illness, acute clinical depression, crisis of faith.
[CHUCKLING] Stop. Crisis of faith.
God is dead. No.
No, He's not dead.
I just hate Him so much I wish He was.
I don't think my heart ever looked this healthy.
Even when I was born, I think it was like a raisin with thunderstorms inside.
MAGGIE: Heart is detached.
Wow, it's even worse than the studies.
There's nothing but adhesions and an aneurysm.
Naming that heart before you trash it?
Since you're into naming medical waste?
TEACHER ASSISTANT: Okay, people, wrap it up.
Clean up and sign out when you're done.
Anatomy test tomorrow.
What happens to Len... the cadaver?
Like, where does he go now?
Crematorium. Finish by 5:00.
I guess this is it. [CHUCKLES]
We should hang out!
To have a funeral for Leonard.
H-He deserves that.
Yes. But we can't steal a cadaver body.
I'll cover you.
♪ Okay, wait, you stole a dissected cadaver heart?
We needed something to bury, and it was very symbolic.
You stole a human heart so you could see a boy one more time.
At a made-up funeral.
You were so weird.
I was young.
You were weird and creepy.
You're so nice now. What happened?
The heart doesn't fit.
What do you mean it doesn't fit?
The new heart is too big for Charlie's chest.
Why the hell didn't we get precise measurements?
The measurements were precise.
This is probably swelling from resuscitative edema.
Should we put him back on ECMO?
No, he's already been on ECMO for far longer than he should.
Okay, what if we give him a total artificial heart?
No. We're gonna make this one work.
How? There's no space. Well, we'll create a space.
We'll do a sternal reconstruction.
I mean, we'll make the chest fit the heart.
We can do that, right?
We'll attach the heart now, and we'll leave him open in the CCU overnight, and pump him full of Lasix, and then when the swelling goes down, we can go back in and cover it with a sternal muscle flap.
We might need to take out the sternum and we'll need Avery to close, but we can do this.
I'll update his mom.
What do you mean you'll leave him open overnight?
Well, we won't close his chest until the swelling goes down.
So his heart will just be unprotected?
We'll... We'll cover him in loban wrap.
What is that?
It's, uh... It's kind of like, uh, plastic wrap but, uh, medical-grade.
You want to cover my son's heart in plastic wrap?
Just until the swelling goes down.
He'll be in the ICU. He'll be monitored.
[VOICE BREAKING] We're in this world alone.
It's him and me.
It's always just been him and me, and I will break if he doesn't come out of this.
If we broke that boy's heart and sent him into a surgery he doesn't recover from...
...I will break.
They're coming! They're coming!
Mom! Come here. Mom.
No, no, no! Mom!
I can hear them. There's so many.
Let me see it... see it! Let me see it! We're not safe here!
Mom! Come here. Come here. Come here.
There you go. There you go.
Hey, it's me. It's me. It's Alex.
Alex. Alex. All right. All right.
They're all gone. They're all gone.
There was one. I had to kill one of them.
Can you give me the... the pills and the glass right there?
It's on the counter. Is it over?
She just forgot to take her pills this morning.
[PANTING] It's okay. No, I... it's okay.
I know. I know.
Mom's been updated.
Good. 4-O prolene.
Can you follow me?
♪ He makes me smaller with every embrace that I ask for ♪
♪ Sit between the sheets of paper he writes on and I ♪
♪ I keep on shrinking ♪ ♪ and he stays the same ♪
♪ ALEX: It's been re-warming for almost 15 minutes, and we're at 35 degrees.
It should be beating by now.
Wait. It's warm and perfused.
Something's not right.
We still haven't fully rested and re-warmed the heart yet.
Wait one more degree.
And risk losing his heart?
Look, this kid can't handle another complication today.
♪ Damn it! It's not working!
[MONITOR BEEPING] Wait, wait! It's fibrillating!
Internal paddles now.
Charge to 20.
[PADDLES WHINE] Clear.
Charge to 30. [PADDLES WHINE]
Come on, Charlie. You said you'd fight, so fight.
Fight for him. Charge to 50.
Alex, wait, wait!
♪ Used up all of my words, I can't read him anymore ♪ CHRIS: Why do you study so much?
BROOKE: I have to get out of my car somehow.
Why? I like it.
It's private, no parents, kind of roomy, smells like French fries on most days.
Come back in the winter and see how you like it then.
Move in to my house.
Stay with us.
Right. Your perfect parents are gonna be okay with you telling them you're hot for homeless.
[CHUCKLING] Stop it.
Hey, Mom and Dad Cleaver, this is my street-rat girlfriend.
She brought breakfast from the dumpster behind the IHOP.
That is not who you are.
And it's not who they are.
Come on, they'll love you as much as I do.
I might love them for teaching you to say stuff like that.
It was pretty good, right?
[MONITOR BEEPING, RESPIRATOR HISSING]
You're still here.
[VOICE BREAKING] What happened?
Why is he still... What happened?
There was a complication during surgery.
We have to keep him open overnight.
[CRYING] I didn't mean it.
I only broke up with him so he would take the heart and live.
I thought... I thought I would come back and he would be awake and sitting up and I would kiss him and he would thank me.
I broke up with him.
I called him stupid.
That was the last thing I said to him.
It's all right.
WOMAN ON PA: Dr. Hoffner to Oncology. Dr. Hoffner to Oncology.
Hey. Charlie's labs and vitals are improving.
Pierce said she's gonna stick around tonight, so we can go home.
I'm good here.
You need sleep.
How about I order us dinner and then we talk?
There's nothing to talk about.
I'm not... I'm not letting you out of here until you talk to me.
[CHUCKLING] Oh, mature.
Oh, I-I'm the one who's not being mature?
You've been brooding all day.
I'm not brooding. There's a patient that's critical.
I told you, Maggie's staying tonight.
Great. So will I.
Then you can go home and work on your applications.
Oh, y-you're punishing me for taking steps to further my career?
Of course not! I just...
I-I didn't think you'd be so excited to... to consider leaving Seattle.
Because I can!
Because for the first time, I can do exactly what I want to do.
I have freedom now, I have opportunities that I didn't have before because I was afraid that Paul was gonna come find me.
You know what, I can apply anywhere now.
I don't have to hide in Seattle.
I thought that you, of all people, would get that.
Look, I'm happy Paul's gone, and I'm happy you're free.
I just didn't realize he was the only one keeping you here.
You paged. Hi.
Yeah, I'm sorry it's so late, I just need a quick consult.
Uh, sure. Yeah, no problem.
It's a failed sternal closure after a heart transplant due to edema.
I'm gonna go in tomorrow and reconstruct the chest cavity, but I was thinking that we could cover the chest defect with a flap.
Yeah, if it's a huge defect, I would do an omental flap.
Otherwise, you do a sternal muscular flap, provide some cushion for the heart.
Great. Thank you. Sure.
I mean, I was kind of hoping you'd page me to go to dinner but I get it.
I have to stay here. I know.
But you've also got to eat.
I mean, the Bible, the Qur'an, the Baghavad Gita, they're all the same book, aren't they?
They all just generally say how not to be a jerk.
Well, I don't know those other books, but I know the New Testament.
And the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gets up there and he says how to behave and how not to behave.
People flagrantly disregard His teachings and receive absolutely no consequences, while other people who spend their lives trying to emulate Him and honor Him are brutally mistreated.
God's off making a bet with the devil while good people eat crap sandwiches, and we're supposed to eat those sandwiches with a smile on our face.
We're supposed to rejoice.
Look, I... I mean, if you didn't grow up in the church, you wouldn't understand, so I don't...
[SCOFFS] Oh, please. Please, I-I grew up Catholic.
Between the mean nuns, the hard kneelers, the touchy priests, Catholicism told me that I would go to hell for playing with myself after I'd been doing it ceaselessly for two years!
I mean, how about a head's up, God?
[CHUCKLES] I walked away, too, for a while.
I get it. Why, 'cause you couldn't masturbate?
No, no. 'Cause my kid died.
Uh, freak accident... at school.
Took a baseball bat to the skull, died instantly.
He was 10.
It was, uh...
The priest said talk to God, but I-I...
I wanted to find God and choke the life out of Him.
I didn't want to talk to God.
I didn't care what He had to say.
I wanted to talk to my son.
I was not, um, as delightful then in that period
[CHUCKLING] as I am now.
I... I was not fit company.
My marriage fell apart. I was alone.
So I went to church.
Because in church, you can talk out loud all by yourself and not look crazy.
So I would go to Mass, and I would talk to my son.
I still do.
I don't think God left me or I left God.
I just think we got in a fight.
I thought you were here for more sex.
MEREDITH: Ellis wrote about Cerone in her journals.
They talked about Richard. They had tequila nights.
And then one day, she just stopped writing about her.
They went from tequila nights three times a week to nothing.
I mean, I think Cerone was my mother's Cristina, and I think my mother sharked her.
If Yang published work that you two did together only under her name, would you forgive her?
And I think I might just make it my life's work to get her back.
All right, so what are you gonna do about it?
I don't know.
Let's talk about something else.
Jo might leave.
She's applying for fellowship outside of Seattle.
Okay, so she's pursuing her career.
So you can't take her career ambitions personally.
She's... She's not abandoning you.
She's not Izzie.
Let's talk about something else.
[TLC'S "AIN'T 2 PROUD 2 BEG" PLAYS]
♪ Yo, if I need it in the morning ♪
♪ Or the middle of the night ♪
♪ I ain't too proud to beg, no ♪
♪ If the lovin' is strong and he got it goin' on and ♪
♪ I ain't too proud to beg, no ♪
♪ Yo, if I need it in the morning ♪
♪ Or the middle of the night ♪
♪ I ain't too proud to beg, no ♪
♪ So it ain't like I'm braggin' ♪
♪ Just bring the paddywagon 'cause ♪
♪ I ain't too proud to beg, no ♪ LAURA: No, I'm not even kidding, it was so crazy.
She thought Alex was an alien and then tried to hammer him!
Someone should probably call the police or something.
She was a total freak show.
Now I feel like it's totally over.
I just haven't figured out how to tell him yet.
I mean, it's only a matter of time until he goes crazy, too, right?
I wish you guys were there. It was insane.
♪ So I choose to explain it's evident ♪
♪ Left Eye don't mean the rest of my body is irrelevant ♪ Hey. Are you just waking up?
Don't judge me. I'm not judging.
I was up all night last night and most of today.
So I'll just, uh... Yeah. So I'll see you upstairs.
Now you're judging.
I'm not. It's just my children are upstairs.
Should I be worried about you?
Should I be worried about you?
Now who's judging?
We all need something to take the edge off.
You get that, I get... sex with my ex.
Ex sex... excellent, excellent ex sex.
And if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get some more.
Leave the chips.
I can't. I, uh, need sustenance.
Are you going home tonight?
Shut the lights off.
HELEN: I see you. I see you standing there.
Well, you're not allowed to be in here!
So, get out! Mom? Mom!
I said it before.
They're not here. Hey. There's not...
They think I can't see them. I can see them.
There's nobody here. I see you!
Hey, it's just me. No.
Look at me! It's Alex.
Touch my face. I'm real.
And I'm here.
My sweetest boy.
My truest love.
Well, you look so handsome.
So grown up.
Are you going out?
No, I'm just gonna stay here with you tonight.
I missed you last night.
Yeah, me, too.
♪ My parents loved you.
I was nervous.
Yeah, well, you couldn't tell.
I mean, you were amazing.
'Cause you... you are amazing.
I want that to be us.
I-I want all of this with you.
I want a house, kids, family, celebrations.
You're such a nerd. Yeah, whatever.
Move in with me at college.
Okay, it's only a halfhour commute, so you can still finish up high school.
Let's start our lives together now.
Chris... None of that.
Pick me up tomorrow, okay?
Look, I'd rather have you drop me off at college than my parents anyways, and then you can see where it is, and you can decide for yourself if life with me is better than life in your car.
Hint... It totally is.
I'll see you tomorrow, okay?
See you tomorrow.
Charlie made it through the night with no problems.
His heart is strong.
He can handle this reconstruction.
JO: Should we start resecting the sternum?
Let's finish this.
Cadaver Leonard... an educator, a listener, and a true friend.
I want you to know that, uh, even in your death, which happened a while ago, you will live on forever within us.
Are you okay?
Well, I guess, uh, this is it, then.
Uh, um, did you want to say something?
I have a poem.
With formaldehyde and 10 blades... my cadaver stole my heart.
Every day I ached when we were forced to part.
My hands in your guts, my dreams realized.
And with you, I was simply paralyzed.
My words fail me...
...and methinks that I blather.
But I must tell you, Steve, you're my cadaver.
You're my dead guy? You're basically my dead guy?
That's... How is that romantic?
Well, I loved cadaver Leonard.
We loved him together.
You really were a dork.
I thought that he would get it.
I thought that he would get that I loved him the way that we loved Leonard, but, you know, he didn't get it.
And, uh, that kind of blew it for me on the dating scene.
Everybody thought I was into, you know, cadavers.
My med-school nickname was Zombie.
And Steve turned out to be gay anyway.
That poem was ahead of its time. All right, sternum's out.
We need the muscle flap. Let's page Dr. Avery.
Oh, I'm right here. Oh, my God.
What do you want to do? Pectoralis flap or omental?
What do you say, there, Zombie?
Did you, um... you hear the poem, too?
Did I hear it? I want my own copy.
JUNE: You're awake! Thank God.
How do you feel? Are you in a lot of pain?
Is it too bad for a visitor?
How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
[VOICE BREAKING] I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I'm sure she'll be here any minute.
♪ Hey. What are you doing here?
Is she okay? Is everything okay?
Yeah, yeah, she's fine. It's just Tuesday.
[GASPS] Ah, time flies.
Hello, my ladybug.
It's to nice to see you.
Hello. Hello. Hi.
Mommy's so happy to see you.
If you need, I can, um, hang on to her for a little while longer.
I don't mind.
Oh... Sorry. Hey.
Tho... I thought you were the Kung Pao chicken.
Thank you so much for bringing her by.
We'll just, uh... We'll just talk later, okay?
I was hoping to hear from you.
I have a flight to catch.
I thought I would stop in and see if you had made a decision.
Marie, I need your polymer.
I can't continue my work without it.
I can't undo my mother's legacy... not when she isn't here to tell me her side of it.
I-I can give you any amount of money you want, but I can't do that. I won't do that.
I do understand.
But I know that you will understand that I have an entire company that will dedicate itself now to this idea of yours.
I have my polymer, and I have your science.
The mini livers will be known as the Cerone method.
Marie, is there some way... anything.
Is there some other way?
Darling, I know that it isn't fair.
It isn't your crime, and it shouldn't be your burden.
I'm sorry that your mother left you to clean up her messes.
[THE WIND AND THE WAVE'S "HUMAN BEINGS" PLAYS]
♪ I have a lot ♪
♪ I should be grateful, but some days I'm so unstable ♪
♪ I can't see anything clearly ♪ Yes, I have stolen medical waste for what I believe to be noble reasons.
I have also been known to name my surgical instruments because, for a long time, they were my only friends.
And for three years as a child, I had an imaginary friend named Ralph.
But, to be clear, I was also the first in my class... every class, every year, of every degree.
I can do sign language, I am ordained to perform marriages, I can change a spare tire, and I can tell you what happens by chapter in every single one of the Harry Potter books.
So, if I am undone by you, then you should really, really be undone by me, too.
Well, my imaginary friend was named Frodo.
Not that Frodo... it wasn't a-a hobbit.
I created my own Frodo, who was half-troll, half-gremlin, and feasted the tears of all my imaginary enemies.
Ooh. I got quirks, too, Maggie.
I got baggage.
Just 'cause I was some prom king...
Four times. ...on-on four consecutive occasions, I, um, still have real pain, you know.
I got real wreckage and insecurities and, I mean, look at this.
I stapled a lap pad to my own hand this morning after seeing you.
So, yeah, I guess I am undone by you, too.
♪ Please open a window ♪ Now, for God's sake, can I finally take you to dinner?
♪ I don't know what I believe in anymore ♪ Okay.
♪ Real change is hard ♪
♪ I try not to freak out ♪
♪ Try not to worry about the future ♪
♪ I never fit in anywhere, and I kept trying.
I kept wanting to belong, but nothing ever worked out, so I had to keep moving.
Or maybe I was running from my circumstances, running from myself, running from anyone who dared to love me.
Just give me a minute. Just one second.
It's right here. I put it right here.
No, Alex, I'm still talking.
Damn it, it was just right here!
Alex, I'm not done yet!
Where the freak is my ring?
Alex, I'm wearing it!
♪ MEREDITH: Scarred hearts don't heal.
But over time, the scars can change.
♪ I always thought that there was something wrong with me, and I always wanted to run until I met you.
[LAUGHING] You're so screwed up that you make me make sense.
You and me.
We just fit.
And I don't want to leave you, Alex.
I want a great, big, giant career, but I never want to go anywhere without you.
♪ Human beings let you down ♪ You are my home.
♪ And you are my heart.
Alex Karev, will you marry me?
They can become smoother, softer.
Wait, so that's a... It's a yes.
[LAUGHING] ...a yes.
It's a hell yes.
And some scars can even fade away.
♪ They'll let you down ♪ AMZN.WEBRip-NTb sync: ShaneHelbin