Losing My Religion (2006)
Come on, come on, come on.
[Derek] Come on. Come on.
Come on, come on, all right, good.
That's good. You're doing good, Dr. Burke.
OK, I need you to touch each finger of your right hand to your thumb.
You're doing great. Keep going.
[Derek] That's good. That's...
[Miranda] Dr. Hahn...
[Erica] Wait for it.
[Miranda] Dr. Hahn. Just wait!
[monitor beeping steadily]
I cut the LVAD wire.
I cut the LVAD wire.
[George] No, I did it.
I'm the one who cut the wire.
Fine. I cut the LVAD wire.
I didn't do anything. I'm totally innocent.
That's not the point. We made an agreement.
I didn't even... I wasn't here.
I told you guys this was a bad idea.
People! I know who did this.
So you might as well come clean.
[George] With all due respect, sir, if you knew, you wouldn't be asking us.
I did what I... You have your suspicions.
But you don't actually know. Not for sure.
And you can't do anything to any of us without proof, sir.
Well, one of you compromised a patient's life.
One of you stole an organ.
One of you jeopardized the integrity of this hospital and of UNOS.
Now you tell me, and you tell me right now!
All right, fine.
No one scrubs in, no one watches from the gallery.
No one so much as goes near the OR Floor.
Until someone confesses, the five of you will share a single patient, Camille Travis.
Whatever she wants, the five of you will provide it.
Now get the hell out of my sight.
[Izzie] I will go back and tell him.
I will tell him it was me.
And get kicked out of the program?
You will keep your mouth shut.
We all will keep our mouths shut.
This is crap. I'm turning her in.
You were the one who said we had to stand by Izzie.
I am sorry, and I really do appreciate what you did for Denny.
Oh, shut up.
Look, the only reason I lied to Burke is 'cause I wanted in on that transplant surgery.
I don't care about Denny, and I hope you get thrown out on your ass.
[Cristina] Hey, we stick together.
You know, we all did this.
Nobody's a victim. We stick together.
Damn it. Thank you.
You're welcome. [George] We can handle this.
Camille Travis is a kid with cancer.
So we get her whatever she wants for a couple of days.
How hard can that be? Harder than you might think.
This is Claire and Natalie, Camille Travis' friends.
Her very best friends in the whole wide world.
Girls, who exactly is Camille Travis?
Like, the chief of surgery's niece.
And, girls, what does the Chief of Surgery's niece want, exactly?
Like, a prom. No. Like, the best prom ever.
We need a theme. Oh.
[George] A theme.
Ooh! Ooh! Can we have sparkly lights?
'Cause sparkly lights are amazing!
I didn't like teenage girls when I was a teenage girl.
I wore a lot of black.
Had the whole "angry, pink hair thing" going on.
Wouldn't have been caught dead at a prom.
My mother made me go.
My date barfed on my dress and then tried to feel me up.
[Izzie] You look...
God, you look amazing.
They always tell you that transplant patients rebound fast, but, you know, to see it in person...
I have warm hands.
I've never had warm hands because of my circulation.
Warm hands, and check it out, I have a regular heartbeat.
Yes, you do.
I should, I gotta go.
I would stay, but if Bailey catches me here, she'd...
And, you know, the Chief has us doing this prom thing.
You look... Whoo-hoo, Denny.
OK, I'm gonna go.
You like your men sick and feeble?
You don't dig healthy guys?
I dig you.
Then why are you all swirly and twitchy?
No, I'm not.
It's 'cause I asked you to marry me.
So you remember that?
It's not the kind of thing I'd forget.
I'm giving you an out.
[Izzie] I'm giving you an out.
I mean, you thought you were dying, and I was saving your life.
And, you know, everything was so...
We can't get married.
I mean, that would be crazy, insane.
We should date and have sex, plenty of sex.
You know, when your heart gets better, and you're out of the hospital, all the sex you can handle.
But marriage is...
Marriage, I mean...
It's my turn now.
But I need to...
No, no, no. We're taking turns. I've decided.
It's polite, and it keeps me from yelling.
When it's your turn again, you can talk.
For five years, I've had to live by the choices of my doctors.
The guys that cut me open decided my life.
There wasn't one choice that was mine.
I have this heart that beats and works.
I get to be like everybody else.
I get to make my own decisions, have my own life, Do whatever the damn hell I choose.
Now here's the good part, so you listen close.
What I choose...
You're who I want to wake up with and go to bed with and do everything in between with.
I get a choice now.
I get to choose.
I choose you, Izzie Stevens.
It's your turn again.
They're not talking.
Wagons have been circled.
Somebody's gotta take responsibility.
I can tell you what I think happened, what I assume happened, but they're the only ones that know it.
I want to meet with each of them separately.
I will break them.
All right, then.
You have your dress for the prom?
I'm going to the prom.
If I have to go, everybody has to go.
I'm a grown woman.
Everybody goes to the prom!
Central high, two years ago, they went with all black.
And they had, like, purple lights...
Oh, yeah, I remember that. Everybody looked like ghouls.
Fine. We could go with all white.
Are you having a seizure?
Will that get me out of here?
Fine. Let's go with seizure.
For the love of God, you people need to get a life!
The Chief's niece.
It's OK. The hot ones are always mean.
It's like a rule or something.
Don't you dare try to judge us.
We're trying to make our friend, who just happens to be dying of cancer, happy.
The color does matter.
Maybe not to you, but it does matter.
Not to bother you, but...
One of you better spit out the problem right now.
The problem is the colors and the balloons and the Under the sea.
No, it's Titanic.
"Hey, let's go with Tears in heaven."
"No, that's too morbid. It should be pink."
"It should be red." It should be a freakin' rainbow.
What he's saying is that we're very, very hopeful that you speak teenage girl.
Silver and white, it's mystical and magical without being over the top.
Ever see fashion week in New York?
Lots of silver and white runways and backdrops.
That's because no matter what color the clothes are, they pop.
They pop? They pop.
O'Malley and Karev, get 500 balloons in silver and white and a hundred in black.
Shiny black, not the matte.
Yang, stick with Camille.
Keep her happy, keep her spirits up.
Grey, get with Patricia, make sure we can rope off the second floor nurses' station and the waiting area.
Oh, no, no, no. You don't get to look at me like that.
No, you compromised my medical license.
You nearly killed a patient, lied to the chief of surgery and made me, your resident, look bad.
Now we're gonna do this prom, and we're doin' it right. Move.
Can you... Yeah.
You never called. What?
Last night, we had plans, and you went off with Izzie, and you never called. You said you would.
A lot of stuff went down last night.
What exactly happened? [whispers] I can't talk about it.
Oh, come on. I'm not gonna tell, George. It's me.
Look, it's Vegas.
What happened in that room stays in that room.
OK, yeah, I get it.
Do you want to go to prom with me?
No, George! No. I don't want to go prom with you.
What was that about?
She said she loved me.
I've been calling your cell all night.
Oh, well, it's, uh...
It's a long story, which essentially ends with me inviting you to a prom.
An actual prom?
A corsages and tuxedos.
Yeah, I know, it's stupid, but...
No, I'm in. I loved prom.
I mean, I don't want to brag or anything, but I was crowned king.
Really? You were that kid in high school?
What is wrong with being that kid?
Nothing. It's very cute, actually.
What are you doin' here?
Doc had some seizures last night.
The cancer has spread to his brain.
He's recovering nicely.
Addison... I don't want to talk about it.
I mean, we've come so far, you forgave me for Mark, and we're trying.
We are. We're trying. We are trying.
We're trying. We're trying.
And I was jealous when there was no need to be.
Will you go to the prom with me?
I went to college on a wrestling scholarship.
I played baseball, some basketball, but, you know, we'll go with football.
What the hell does football have to do with who cut the LVAD wires?
Let's say you were drafted to a team that wasn't your first pick.
You know, you don't like the players, you hate the way they play the game, you even think the quarterback is full of crap.
The quarterback's a pain in the ass that you don't owe a damn thing to.
But, it's your team.
You don't quit.
You don't talk to the press.
You don't bitch to the coach.
You just go out there every Sunday, and you make the blocks, and you take the hits, and you play to win.
You show up, and you suit up, and you play, because it's your freakin' team.
I know your type.
You're a surgical junkie.
I'm just saying.
It's not gonna be easy for you to be away from the OR that long.
And if you want to get back to the OR, you're gonna tell me what I need to know, aren't you?
It's not easy for me to be away from the OR It's not easy for me to sit in front of you, or any other authority figure for that matter, and not be able to give you the exact answer you want to hear.
I'm the one with the answers. I've always been the one with the answers.
But right now, sir, I don't have any.
How do you keep your edge, sir?
Because I watch you, and you've been doing this a long time, and you're clean.
You're focused, you are the job, nothing gets to you.
And the thing is, sir, I was like that until I got here, until I actually started doing this job and now everything is...
That's beside the point. No, see, sir? This is the point.
Because I can't tell you what happened in that room.
I can't tell you, and before, I could have...
No guilt, no loyalties, no problem.
Before, I wouldn't have even been in that room.
I wouldn't have gotten involved, I would have never frozen in surgery, and I would've told him what I thought he should do.
I had an edge, sir.
I had an edge, and I've lost it.
And I need it.
I need it back.
If you could just tell me how you keep yours and how not to be affected...
I know I could be a great surgeon.
So if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it.
You're excused, Dr. Yang.
But... You're excused.
I'll tell you.
I'll tell you who cut the LVAD wire... No, you won't.
If you could just please... I don't want to know, not from you.
Yeah, I have the answers, but I can't tell 'em to you.
I'm not gonna be responsible for you becoming less human.
I'm a pretty girl.
I'm not being arrogant, it's just...
It's just kind of a fact.
For a long time, I made a career from my looks, so I get it, I'm a pretty girl.
And not in a "from "a certain angle" way, in an obvious way.
It's the blond thing and the big boobs thing.
Big boobs are key to obvious pretty, If you know what I'm saying.
That's how men see me.
I'm not a smart girl or an interesting girl, I'm a pretty girl.
The blond and the boobs, it confuses guys into thinking that I'm someone else.
And I'm used to it.
I'm used to them walking away when they realize...
But then Denny goes and asks me to marry him.
Is that why you cut the wires?
He doesn't make me feel like I'm a pretty girl.
He makes me feel like...
I think he might know me.
And so if I did cut the LVAD wire, and I'm not saying that I did, but if I did...
Then, no, I don't feel guilty.
And I know that I should, and I would if it were anybody else.
But I can't feel anything but happy.
Aren't you gonna... say anything or...
I'm not gonna break.
I'm starting to get a little freaked out, but I'm not gonna break.
It's not because I don't care, because I do care what you think about me, I do... care.
I just can't tell you what you want to hear.
Which seems to be a theme in my life right now.
Just 'cause you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to.
You can want to very much.
You can be with a person and be happy with them And not love them, or you can love someone and not want to be with them.
You don't need to...
Love someone to want them.
Oh, it's frustrating.
You know, when your brain tells you what you want and what you actually want don't match up, it's exhausting.
And well, it's complicated.
But that's life.
I've known you for a long time.
I know your mother and father.
And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you did not cut those LVAD wires.
I need you tell me who did it.
I've been going over this and over this in my mind, trying to piece this together.
It was you.
You're the reason my parents broke up.
And it wasn't just an affair.
She really loved you.
It wasn't just this cheap thing where she didn't tell you she was married.
It wasn't all a lie.
She left her husband for you.
But you stayed with your wife because it was the right thing to do.
Maybe safe, but she was the right person for you to be with.
And let's face it, my mother... nothing wrong with being safe, being with the good guy because he's good.
And we are talking about forever here.
You've never regretted your decision.
You've never looked back.
Finn says we need to make a decision about Doc.
Good for Finn.
Can we just do this one thing together without arguing?
I think we may have to put him to sleep.
Whatever you want to do.
What if there's a chance he can get better?
He's not gonna get better.
You know that.
Well, Finn thinks we should do it today, then.
Denny. [Miranda] What did I tell you?
Visiting hours aren't for another hour.
You are no longer his doctor.
You want to see Denny, you come back when the visitors come.
I would, but I can't wait.
Ixnay on the insubordination-ay But it's my turn.
If the Chief finds out You were even on this floor...
Hold on. It's her turn.
My answer is yes.
Oh, now, see, you're gonna make my heart stop beating, and it's brand-new.
I will call security on you.
OK, I will come back during visiting hours.
And it's prom, so I'll show you my dress.
You did good.
I tricked her into marrying me.
How smart am I?
We're throwing a prom.
The Chief's making us throw a prom.
George came to see you?
He's my friend.
I won't bear a grudge.
What did you...
I have to take care of me.
I don't expect you to take care of me, but I have to take care of me.
And if this...
If you can't stay here for this...
I won't bear a grudge.
Are you gonna tell shepherd about...
OK, there's a couple of forms you need to sign.
I only need one signature.
Well, you... It's fine.
Here, I'll sign.
So how do we do this?
Well, I'll give doc an injection of terazole to make him sleepy, and then I'll give him an IV injection of phenobarbital.
And that'll stop his heart. Yes.
And what do we do after, with his body?
We have the means to dispose of it for you.
That's fine. Go ahead.
We can't throw him away like he's garbage.
[Finn] We would never... He's our dog, Derek.
There's that clearing by the trailer.
Overlooking the water.
We can bury him there.
That sounds nice.
You ready? Yeah.
I'm so sorry, Doc.
I'm sorry, too.
That's the hospital. I gotta go.
[Meredith] It's OK. It's OK.
[Finn] He's gone.
[Finn] Meredith... No, I have to go home and change.
I'll see you later, OK? Meredith...
I'm sorry for your loss.
You know, the thing is, he wasn't really my dog for that long.
He was more Derek's dog.
He was a good dog.
[Miranda] Oh, I'm too tired for this.
Where's your husband, Dr. Bailey?
At home with the baby.
Thought you'd at least get to get outta this.
Well, with Burke upstairs...
What happened to him, I'm sure the Chief would've let you out.
Have you seen Meredith?
I don't think she's here yet.
This whole thing brings back very traumatic memories of being a band geek with braces and a lisp and spending the whole evening with skippy gold talking about Star Wars.
So, you want to dance?
Can I cut in?
What did you say to my boyfriend to make him that scared of you?
I'm a frightening man, Cammie.
No, you're not.
Where Brian's concerned, yes, I am.
Be kind to him.
He loves me.
I've been loved.
And that's something everyone should have once in their life.
I've been loved.
Thank you for the prom, uncle Richard.
Hey, I was looking for, where are you going?
I'm wearing a dress, I have on heels, I shaved my legs, I'm going to the prom.
You said that you didn't want to go.
No, I said I didn't want to go with you.
I said, "I love you." I said it.
I said it out loud to your face, and ever since, you...
I have never said that to a guy before, never.
And now I am just this idiot who says I love you and then gets avoided.
No, I'm not avoiding you.
You gonna say it back?
No, George, let me go.
George, let me go.
Let me go.
Let me go. Stop fighting me.
If I say it back right now, you know I'm just sayin' it because you said it to me.
When I say I love you, I want to mean it because...
you just have to give me some time to mean it.
I hate that I'm so into you.
You're a lot hotter than my last prom date.
Is that a compliment?
It feels like a compliment.
Then it is.
Well, keep it up. You might get lucky.
Well, now how lucky are we talking?
Are we talking kinda lucky, or are we talking really seriously lucky?
You have been a very patient man, and I appreciate it.
Liz was my wife, and when she died... you get this thing, you know, where you stop making plans. because you had plans, but then there's a car crash and your plans disappeared.
So you just...
I just try and get from sunup till sundown.
That's as far into the future as I can handle.
And I've been fine with that. I have.
But right now, looking at you...
Damn, I have all kinds of plans.
Don't freak out.
You're not? No.
You have plans.
I have plans.
You all right?
Yeah, it's just... hot and claustrophobic.
You know what? There's a patient I've gotta go check on.
I think I'm just gonna run and splash some cold water on my face.
I'll be right back, OK? I'll be right back, OK?
OK. All right.
Leave me alone.
Just leave me alone.
I just wanted to make sure you were all right.
No! I'm not all right. OK? Are you satisfied?
I'm not all right, Because you have a wife, and you call me a whore, and our dog died.
And now you're looking at me. Stop looking at me.
I'm not looking at you. I am not looking at you.
You are looking at me, and you watch me.
And Finn has plans.
And I like Finn, he's perfect for me, and I'm really trying here to be happy.
And I can't breathe.
I can't breathe with you looking at me like that, so just stop!
Do you think I want to look at you?
That I wouldn't rather be looking at my wife?
I'm married. I have responsibilities.
She doesn't drive me crazy, she doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal, she doesn't make me sick to my stomach thinking about my veterinarian touching her with his hands!
Oh, man, I would give anything not to be looking at you.
Whoa. You look nice.
Thank you. So do you. Hot date?
Nah. This thing is cheesy.
I wouldn't waste a decent chick on this.
You headin' in? Yeah.
I'm just gonna see Denny first.
What does this mean?
I had panties on. Black. Do you see them?
Meredith, what does this mean?
Help me look for them. And fix your tie. Meredith...
What does this mean?
Oh, the nurse told me to come find you.
You have to come now. It's Izzie.
Wait, wait, wait.
I did my internship here, my residency, came back here the minute my fellowship was done.
The day they told me I would be Chief, I was standing right there in that OR, spent my whole career in this hospital.
My whole life.
Denny Duquette died at 7:42 this evening.
What happened? [Olivia] I didn't know what to do.
I didn't think you guys would want me to go to the Chief...
Where is she?
She's in there with him.
I think it was a stroke.
He was prone to blood clots.
A clot could have formed on his sutures, traveled to his brain.
It only takes a second.
Dr. Hahn did a beautiful job on the surgery.
But I don't know why I didn't think of blood clots.
He died all alone.
He was alone.
There was nothing you could've done.
I changed my dress three times.
I wanted to look nice.
I would've been here sooner...
But I couldn't figure out which dress to wear.
We shouldn't be in here.
[Meredith] Iz, there are things that they need.
They need to move him.
Take him to the morgue.
You can't stay here. I know you want to...
Can you please, please just get out?
I want to be alone with Denny.
[Alex] Izzie, that's not Denny.
That's not Denny.
the minute his heart stopped beating, he stopped being Denny.
Now I know you love him, but he also loved you.
And a guy that loves you like that, he doesn't want you to do this to yourself.
Because it's not Denny, not any more.
An hour ago, he was proposing.
And now he's going to the morgue.
Isn't that ridiculous?
Isn't that the most ridiculous piece of crap you've ever heard?
I'm sorry. these are ridic... hey.
Hi. Derek, where have you been?
I was with a patient. Shepherd.
Yes? Have you seen Bailey's interns.
I'm looking for Izzie Stevens in particular.
No, I haven't. No.
It was me.
I cut his LVAD wire.
I did it. No one helped me.
I thought I was a surgeon, but...
I thought I was a surgeon, but I am not.
So I quit.
Well, I guess that... puts an end to the evening.
Yeah, I guess it does.
Come on. I'll drive you home.