Make Me Lose Control (2005)
[George] Previously on Grey's anatomy...
You waited two months to tell me, and I had to find out by her showing up and telling me herself.
You had brain surgery and didn't tell me?
You called my wife? You called mine.
It's not like we're divorced. Practically divorced.
You've had counseling? We had adultery. That was enough.
I think it's best to make a clean break. Oh, you're ending this.
Have you even bothered to tell Burke about the baby?
The clinic wouldn't let me confirm my appointment unless I designated an emergency contact person.
You're my person. I am?
I heard your mother was leaving mayo.
She goin' back with the U.N.?
She's, uh, taking time off.
What's your name?
It's me, mom, Meredith.
[Cristina] Oh, you are stupid. Oh, God.
You're a stupid, evil sadist, and I wanna kill you!
[Meredith] Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators.
This is supposed to make us feel better.
[Cristina] Oh, God. Do you feel better?
[Meredith] I'm stupid.
[Cristina] Slutty mistress.
[Meredith] Pregnant whore.
[Cristina] Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea.
[Meredith] You know what's ruined for me?
I used to love ferry boats.
And Derek's got a thing for ferry boats.
Now every time I see a freakin' ferry boat...
You know what's ruined for me?
Coronary artery bypass grafts.
And aortic aneurysms.
God, I used to love aortic aneurysms.
[Meredith] Surgeons are control freaks.
With a scalpel in your hand...
Oh, crap. - You feel unstoppable.
There's no fear, there's no pain.
Have you cried yet? Hello.
You're 10 feet tall and bulletproof.
Do you think we'd feel better if we cry?
You know, just like, let it out?
[Meredith] And then you leave the O.R...
You wanna cry now?
No. OK, let's... let's jog.
[Meredith] And all that perfection, all that beautiful control Just falls to crap.
What is she doing?
She's hanging out with Alex.
I don't know.
I think... think they, uh, might be friends.
Do another one.
[whispers] Make the lambs stop screaming.
[Izzie] You guys are wrong about him, all right?
Once you get to know him, he's really sweet.
He's Alex. Punk-ass.
Hey, Grey, Izzie was telling me you have tapes of your mom performing surgery.
I'd kill to see the Ellis Grey in action.
Hey, you know what? Maybe you can come over tonight and we can all watch it together, right?
Oh, yeah, if this were a hell dimension.
[Cristina] Run away, pig boy.
You have a thing for Alex?
No. [Cristina] oh.
Are we saving lives or having a tea party? Walk faster, people.
What are you doin' here?
I'm going back to work.
You're not cleared for surgery.
Leave me alone.
I've been sittin' home for a week, watching Oprah give away things on TV.
You clear me now, or I'll hurt you.
If you want me to clear you so soon, you should've thought of that before you gave chief to Burke and invited Satan to Seattle. Satan?
Good morning. Richard, like the hat.
Satan speaks. Actually, I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil, but I will answer to Satan.
What is she still doing here? I asked her to stay.
We have a pediatric surgery attending on maternity leave.
Actually, I could use you on a consult.
Will you meet me up there, Derek?
Yeah, fine. See you, Richard.
I'm not clearing you for surgery.
Fine, I can catch up on my paperwork.
Mr. Gaston is scheduled for a resection non-small cell carcinoma today.
He did well overnight, has remained afebrile.
He's had a dose of ceftriaxone this morning.
His pre-op labs are unremarkable.
His chest x-rays are unchanged from the previous.
I own a couple of dry cleaning stores.
I never believed what they said about inhaling the chemicals, but...
We're gonna do everything we can for you, Mr. Gaston.
Did oncology see him yet?
They're waiting for the surgical path.
Thank you, Dr. Yang.
You're welcome, Dr. Burke.
[Meredith] I know, and I just think you should still tell him about the baby because at least he should have the responsibility of having to pay.
No! Look, he will never know. It's over.
Once this pregnancy's taken care of, Burke won't even be a blip on my radar.
He'll be a smudge. Right.
You know, Meredith, leave the sarcasm up to me. Really. It doesn't suit you.
[Alex] Kelly Roche, 23 years old, in for a scheduled E.T.S for treatment of erythrophobia with hyperpyrexia.
You have any questions about the procedure?
Dr. Shepherd explained everything.
He was very... helpful.
He gave me some litera... sorry.
Don't be. Half the patients that come through here have the hots for Shepherd.
Hey. Why do you do that? What?
Act like an ass when everybody but me is around.
They hate you enough as it is.
Hey, there's a new surgical case coming up from the pit, likely diverticulitis. Let's go.
You comin'? Yeah.
[Ellis] watch it. Hands off me. I could report you to the chief And you'd be out on your ass!
Where is the chief? Patient's name is, um...
Where is the chief? You're all amateurs!
Complaining of intermittent cramping, pain and diarrhea.
Also suffers from...
Alzheimer's. [Miranda] The patient's name?
Yang, the patient's name?
What the hell are you doing here?
Haven't I told you? How many times have I told you Not to bother me when I'm at work! Ellis Grey.
[George] Meredith's mother. Amateurs! You're amateurs!
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Meredith, are you OK...
Dr. Karev, stick with the E.T.S. case. And, Alex, her blushing impulse, not a toy for you to play with or a button for you to push, understood?
Hey, Meredith, you know, um, my great-grandmother, she died with Alzheimer's.
My God. Why would you say that? Look, I'm just tryin' to help.
[Miranda] Izzie, the Dr. Shepherds need an intern up in the N.I.C.U.
Wait, both of them, together?
And me, by myself, with the two married people who hate each other? Go.
Cristina, you're on the thoracotomy. Oh, with Burke?
Oh, can I have the hateful married couple instead?
OK, I'm sorry. I thought I was your resident, not your hostess.
I assign, you take. Is that a problem?
Is there some reason why it's inconvenient for you to spend the day in the O.R learning from Dr. Burke?
No, I'm very happy to be working with Dr. Burke.
Thank you very much.
George, take care of Dr. Grey.
Yes. Thank you.
She needs a friend right now...
Oh, you mean Ellis the...
Are you able to work today?
Yes, I'm fine.
'Cause I would understand it if you wanted to be with your...
No. My mother and I don't have the easiest...
It's just better if I'm working.
OK. You're on scut.
While we take care of your mother, you can catch up on charting, run samples to the lab, go over...
I told you, I'm fine.
Yeah, and I appreciate that you're fine.
But I have to anticipate a certain level of distraction from you today, even in the face of all that fineness.
So scut, now.
[Derek] Where's the mother?
She stuck around long enough to get the kid strung out, and then took off.
Nice, huh? Addison...
Derek, I know it's a long shot. I know that.
You told me that you had a newborn with an invasive mass.
You failed to mention she's premature, underweight, and addicted to narcotics.
There is no way that this baby is gonna survive spinal surgery.
You don't know that. Even if she does, she's a mess.
Look at her, she's got meningitis seizures.
She's just gonna live a short and painful life.
You don't know that.
It is my job to know that. You're not God, Derek.
Excuse me? I'm sorry, honey, but you're not.
You don't get to just decide... Did you just call me "honey"?
Don't call me honey. Fine. You're not God, Dr. Shepherd.
Look, if a patient has any chance at survival, which I think she does, then you have a responsibility...
Don't talk to me about responsibility. You took an oath, Derek.
Oh, and don't you dare talk to me about oaths.
Derek, I messed up. People mess up.
You slept with my best friend in my favorite sheets.
[Addison] The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets.
No, I loved those sheets. I did.
You like the Italian sheets with the paisleys.
Would you just stop talking about the sheets?
I'm sorry. I'm just gonna go. I'll go check on the labs.
Addison, don't do that. Derek, look, she's a fighter. Look how far she's come already.
Don't get attached, don't get involved.
Just don't make her life more painful than it already is.
Derek, please. She has nobody.
She needs someone to fight for her.
She's too far gone.
We have to let her go. Let her go in peace.
Fine, Derek. Walk away.
It's what you do best.
I've enjoyed the opportunity to show you my capabilities in this arena, however brief.
Stop fishing, Preston.
You did a good job.
But I'm back now, and I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.
I am glad that you're back.
I'm just hiding my joy deep down inside.
And, uh, Chief...
It's a little pimped out.
Welcome back, Chief.
It's good to be back, Dr. Grey. What can I do for you?
It's my mother, Sir.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I know you two are close, but she made me promise.
She seems to be reliving the heyday of her residency a lot these days.
And I just thought maybe if you could stop by and say hello, it would mean a lot to her.
Oh, of... of course. Of course.
Do you need a day off or a...
Oh, no. I'm fine.
If you could just hold...
I'm in the middle of my workday, Thatch.
Thatch? No, I'm Dr. O'Malley.
I just need to check...
Darling, I'm not in the mood to play doctor now.
Hands off. I'm busy.
Damn it, Thatch, I mean it. No!
She's allergic to penicillin.
Yeah? Oh, yeah. It said in her chart. Oh.
You just have to be patient.
OK. Do you, um, who's Thatch?
My dad, Thatcher.
What did she... is she...
Is she talking about him?
She never talks about him. Are you all right?
No. Yeah, yeah. I'm good. OK.
Um... I can't be here.
I mean, we're good here. We're great. OK.
I heard. Is it true? Yeah. Secret's out.
Dr. Shepherd, I...
You don't have to call me Dr. Shepherd.
Dr. Shepherd, I want in on a surgical case.
I can't just do nothing all day.
And you owe me this.
And I never ask you for anything like this, so...
I have an E.T.S. this afternoon.
You'll scrub in.
[Preston] You're late.
[Cristina] I apologize.
[Preston] I'm just starting to dissect around Mr. Gaston's tumor.
I've almost got visualization.
Kelly. Mm hmm.
This might be the last time that that ever happens.
How are her labs?
H and H are stable, chest x-rays show no acute process.
Good. You ready to go?
Are you kidding? I've been ready since the third grade.
Did you read the literature I gave you?
You understand the possible side effects?
Compensatory sweating of the back, abdomen, thighs and legs, possible gustatory sweating.
Horner's syndrome occurs in less than 1% of patients.
Brachial plexus injury, Pneumothorax and hemothorax are highly unlikely, but possible side effects of the surgery.
You did your homework.
Take her to pre-op. I'll alert the O.R.
Do you know what all those words mean?
Brachial plexus injury could cause paralysis of the arms.
Pneumothorax is a collapsed lung.
[Meredith] Are you sure you want to risk all of that Over a little bit of blushing?
Is that... What you think this is, a little bit of blushing?
Just a schoolgirl embarrassment?
Look, you both saw what happened When Dr. Shep...
When Dr. Shepherd was here. What did you think?
Well, I thought you liked him.
I do, but you think I want a...
A roomful of doctors to know about it?
It's not like we're gonna...
It's not just you guys.
It's not just this once. It happens...
Every time I have a feeling for anyone in my life.
I can't get mad, I can't... Be happy, I can't feel anything without the whole world knowing.
I can't have a secret.
Imagine living that way your entire life?
Get away from me, you insipid little man!
Dr. Grey, calm down. Get out of here! Get out of my room!
[George] Please calm down. Get away from my house!
What can I do? Please get some haloperidol.
Don't give me that look.
That sad little, soulful little puppy routine.
I know it by heart, Thatch, and I'm over it.
I don't wanna hear about your day or your students or your pathetic little research grants.
My work is what counts!
It's what pays for this house. It pays for... it pays for you And it pays for... it pays for Meredith.
And for your precious lifestyle.
So why don't you just leave me alone and let me do it!
Meredith may think she needs you, but I sure as hell don't.
[George] Dr. Grey. [nurse] Here it is.
[Kelly] Are you OK?
That's something I'm supposed to be asking you.
I understand that you're working on Ellis Grey.
Yes, sir. I'm tryin' my best.
All right, keep me informed of her progress and take good care of her. She's an old friend of mine.
Really? Because, actually, I could use some help.
Could you help me examine her?
Uh, um, I'm just a little busy just now.
Gotta run. Right, OK.
It's just that she seems to think I'm her ex-husband and she won't let me touch her.
Funny. You, you do look a bit like Thatcher.
I look like Meredith's dad?
Um, just take good care of her, George.
[George] But I look like her dad?
I need help.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
You have an eyelash.
Make a wish and blow it away.
Hey, nurse Ratched, there's a dead guy stinkin' up room 4125.
Do somethin' before he rots.
See? That is exactly what I'm talking about.
Why are you so afraid of showing people that you're a decent human being?
Remember when he wallpapered the hospital with pictures of you in your underwear?
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
That was before I knew you.
Thanks, man. Very helpful.
I need you to help me do an exam on Meredith's mom.
Oh, a standard exam. You did go to med school, right?
She thinks I'm her ex-husband. She won't let me.
Oh, damn it, Thatcher, I'm at work.
I've already told you. I'm too busy to deal with you.
Now no more cartoons. She means interruptions.
No more interruptions, Thatch.
You heard the doctor.
Hi, I'm, I'm Dr. Karev.
Pleased to meet you, Dr. Grey. I've always admired your work.
So you're familiar with the laparoscopic Grey method?
Oh, I studied footage of the operation you pioneered.
You're something else.
Good. Well, then, we're wasting time.
Let's scrub in.
Well, Dr. Grey, I'm gonna need to do a short exam before you start surgery.
I know. New hospital policy. Annoying bureaucrats.
Make it quick.
Why don't you wait outside, Thatcher?
I can take it from here.
Take a deep breath.
She's got a good grip.
I don't think I... it doesn't look good.
She's got a resistant strain of pneumococcus.
The antibiotics aren't working.
You may wanna get yourself reassigned, Dr. Stevens I don't think we'll be operating today.
So do you think Dr. Shepherd was right?
It's just too far gone.
She does have a good grip.
[Preston] The tumor has infiltrated the pericardium.
Is my surgery interfering with your daydreaming?
You have a problem?
You have a mocha latte?
Then go away.
Actually, I need a new assignment.
The Shepherds' preemie case is non-surgical.
Did you know about Ellis Grey? Did Meredith tell you?
It's just you think... you think you know someone, you know who they are, you share a house and make wishes on eyelashes with them.
And we don't know each other.
None of us.
We're just a bunch of interns who work together.
There's nothin' there.
[Preston] There is an arrhythmia when I press down on the tumor.
That is a sign of what, Yang?
Uh, it's a sign of... it's a s...
It's a sign that the tumor has infiltrated the pericardium.
I, I'm sorry. I...
Do your homework, Yang.
It could be causing a tear in the outer muscle of the heart.
[man] so he's got a broken heart?
Somebody help her.
Don't just stand there, damn it. Somebody help her.
Get a gurney in here! Cristina.
[Miranda] we got it, Dr. Burke. We got it.
All right, talk to me. What do we know? What do we know?
Talk to me, Stevens I don't know.
Come on, people, let's move.
[Miranda] Cristina, what hurts?
Let's get her outta here. There's a patient on the table.
Dr. Bailey, when you get her stabilized, I need a report, please. Dr. Bailey!
Right, Dr. Burke.
[Miranda] Her pulse is racing.
I need her on a monitor, need to get a B.P.
Also, I want her started on at liter of L.R Wide open.
Izzie, run ahead to emergency. Let 'em know we're on our way.
What? Seven weeks. I'm pregnant, Izzie.
Uh, OK, no. We're going to pre-op instead.
Find Addison Shepherd, and, Izzie, be discreet.
So I'm leaving in the morning.
No. Excuse me?
No, I'm not accepting your resignation.
It's not a resignation, Richard.
It's notification. I don't officially work for you.
I came here for one case.
I can track the twins' progress from New York.
Well, what about the preemie.
I'm letting go of the preemie, you know that.
He calls me Satan, Richard.
You don't like to hide from a fight.
No fight. He wins. I'm leaving in the morning.
What is it, O'Malley? It's Dr. Grey, Sir. Ellis.
[George] C.T. Confirmed diverticulitis, but a liver mass was also found.
My god. Poor Meredith.
As if her mother having Alzheimer's isn't bad enough, now she has to deal with liver cancer.
You won't know that it's cancer until you do a biopsy, O'Malley.
Excuse me, Dr. Shepherd, we need you, fast.
Um, it's Cristina, one of our interns. She's...
She's collapsed. Cristina's collapsed?
Why do you need me?
Shut up, George. Please come.
Doesn't change anything, Richard. I'm still leaving in the morning.
This is a very bad day.
[Derek] OK, Dr. Karev, if we're gonna stop her blushing, we have to expose the sympathetic ganglion chain which resides where?
It's time to clear me for surgery, Shepherd.
I know you heard me. I'm standing right here.
Chief, I'm a little busy here. We'll talk about it later.
Just give a verbal OK.
We can do the paperwork later. I cannot do that.
I am your chief of surgery. This is not a request.
With all due respect, sir, in this situation, I'm not your subordinate, I'm your doctor.
One week after brain surgery, you are not ready to resume medical practice.
It's a simple procedure. A needle biopsy.
A resident could do it.
So let a resident do it. What am I missing here?
It's for my mother, isn't it?
You think she has cancer.
George needs your signature.
Look Richard, I know she's your friend.
But I'm not clearing you for surgery.
What's her total bili?
It's actually only 4.
I mean, it's not great, but it's not terrible.
That's why I didn't see the jaundice.
No one could. We just have to wait and see.
What aren't you telling me?
[Addison] Have you notified the father?
[Miranda] Cristina. Cristina.
Cristina. Cristina, is there anyone we can call?
We're losing her.
Oh, man. You see that? It was an extrauterine pregnancy.
The tube burst. She's bleeding out.
Ah, good. You're finished.
I need you to do a needle biopsy.
Um, I've gotta go check on...
There's someone I need to see about.
I had an intern collapse on me in the middle of surgery.
So if this could wait...
No, I need you to do a needle biopsy now.
Chief, now is not the time.
I'm not in the mood for a debate. You understand?
You'll do it because I asked you to.
Because I need you to.
It's Ellis Grey.
[Izzie] She's gonna be OK, right?
How attached was she to this pregnancy?
I don't know.
She's a pretty private person.
[Addison] She's lost a lot of blood. But I've got it from here.
Dr. Bailey, you must have a surgery or two of your own today.
I'm fine right here.
Can you do the follow-up? I wanna check on Cristina.
[Alex] Yeah. You know what's wrong with her?
Don't. I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry.
I'm so tired of you being sorry.
Don't do it. Dr. Grey...
Dr. Grey. Seriously?
Are you concerned about Alex finding out about us?
Is that what matters to you?
Do you really think he cares?
Alex, do you care that I was the intern stupid enough to screw the married attending?
Meredith, it's OK. It's not OK.
You have a wife who's not easy to hate, who's annoyingly kind and painfully smart and currently saving my friend's life.
Would you just... Don't.
Stop talking to me like you're my boyfriend.
Stop talking to me at all.
Dude... That was rough.
You need something? I'm coming in.
No, you're not. I am. I'm her friend.
Exactly. She's lying on the operating table, naked, exposed.
She's sedated, but she's probably scared out of her mind.
And right now, she's not a doctor, she's not your friend, she's a patient.
And she deserves to have all the privacy I can give her.
You're not going in there.
We went jogging this morning.
I made her go jogging.
There's no way that could've...
No, no. It started out this way.
Nothing caused it to happen.
[Meredith] You have to let me in there.
You can try.
I'll have to take you down.
Hey... I may be short, but you're pretty tiny.
I could do it.
Right now, just in this moment, I hate you.
I can take it.
All right, Dr. Grey.
We're going to put you to sleep for a little while.
But I promise, We'll have you back into surgery in no time.
[Dr. Grey] Richard...
Thank god you're here...
you beautiful man.
That husband of mine has been making me crazy.
Look at that.
She's stronger since this morning.
There's no reason in the world why she should be stronger since this morning.
She's really beautiful, isn't she?
Tell you what.
If she makes it though the night, and she has a little bit more strength, I'll operate.
You know... the way I see it, we could deal with us, In one of three ways.
Option one, I could apologize, you could forgive me and come home and we could move on with our lives like adults.
Or option two, I could apologize, you could forgive me, come home, but you could still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue.
Are you trying to be funny?
Satan has a sense of humor.
What's the third?
I don't know what the third option is.
I just know I still love you.
Tell them the chief said to put a rush on this biopsy and tell them it's Ellis Grey. OK.
Oh, Dr. Burke, do you want the histologic grade and staging or any specific stains?
Have them run all tests. OK.
You had an extrauterine pregnancy.
Your left fallopian tube burst.
She did everything she could, but there was too much damage.
She couldn't save the tube.
Is it over?
Mm-hmm. The surgery was successful.
We're just doing a follow-up.
Dr. Shepherd will be in to check on you in awhile.
Say that again.
Say his name... Dr. Shepher...
Oh, my God, look at my face.
Guess it was worth the risk.
I still think it's nuts, having major surgery just so people can't tell how you're feelin'.
Really? You do?
Nah, I guess not.
You could talk, you know. I mean, if you need to.
You've said that word so many times today, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore.
I'm just sayin' you could talk to me
'cause, you know, even if I repeat every word you say, no one around here likes me. They'll just call me a liar and move on. Izzie likes you.
Look, for what it's worth, I don't know how you're still on your feet.
If I found out my mom might have cancer, I'd be under the bar by now.
You want the ugly truth?
You have an ugly truth?
I never would've pegged you to have an ugly truth.
I'm more afraid she doesn't have cancer.
Well, liver cancer's fast.
Painful, but it's fast, and they give you morphine.
They don't give you morphine for Alzheimer's.
No, they don't.
What kind of person wishes their mother had cancer?
I know it's hard being the one who's gone.
It isn't easy bein' the one who's still around.
Hey, did you get your mom's biopsy results back?
She's gonna have a lot of pain for a few days, but she'll be OK.
I'm glad you were there.
Yes, I am.
It's just that a lot of the time, It feels like you and Cristina are kinda over there, and I'm here.
So about Alex...
Yeah, I know, I know. You guys hate him. Fine.
Yeah, we do.
But I just wanna say that I believe you, that he's different once you get to know him.
[man] Here you go. Ellis Grey.
Let her know.
Meredith, are you OK?
I'm not OK.
Oh, please, Thatcher. I've had a long day.
I'm tired. Go away.
I am Thatcher Grey.
And I'm your husband, and, uh, I know you don't like me very much, but the fact is, I don't always like you very much either.
I don't like the way you speak to me.
And I really hate the way you speak to Meredith.
She deserves better from you.
What's wrong with me, Thatch?
The mass on your liver... Is it algebra?
I mean, Is it algeb... damn it.
Is it malignant?
Please, please, just don't say anything.
I'm just exhausted.
My mother is exhausting, what happened to Cristina... and you... hating you is the most exhausting.
I don't wanna do it anymore.
[Meredith] No one likes to loose control, But as a surgeon... There's nothing worse.
It's a sign of weakness... of not being up to the task.
How can someone be so offensive and yet so charming all at the same time?
It's an art form.
[Meredith] And still, there are times When it just gets away from you...
When the world stops spinning.
And you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you...
We went in expecting to simply remove the tumor.
Instead, it was a little more complicated.
The tumor infiltrated into the pericardium, causing a tear in the outer muscle of the heart.
That's a lot of medical talk.
It means, uh, ahem...
That you had...
You had a broken heart, literally.
But now I'm, um...
But now you're going to be fine.
No matter how hard you fight it, you fall.
And it's scary as hell.
Except, if there's an upside to free-falling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.