Grey's Anatomy S3E5 Script

Oh, the Guilt (2006)

[George] Previously on Grey's Anatomy...

She cut his LVAD wire.

[Bailey] Denny Duquette died at 7:42 this evening.

I had a baby and I went soft.

Your hand is fine. Shepherd will clear you for surgery.

Our marriage is over. [Addison] Yeah, I guess it is.

Who am I to you, George? Am I your girlfriend?

Am I somebody you mess around with? Can I buy you a drink, Callie?

Only if you have it delivered to my hotel room 'cause I'm off to bed.

You are a great guy. So it's Derek.

He's gonna hurt you again. I'm walking away.

[man] It's for you. It's from Denny.

["Clonie" by Nellie McKay playing]

[Meredith] First do no harm.

As doctors we pledge to live by this oath.

But harm happens. And then guilt happens.

There's no oath for how to deal with that.

Good morning!

I thought we were done with the whole muffin thing.

This isn't muffins. This is breakfast.

Mer needs a good solid breakfast. First day back after the big surgery.

Are you OK?

Of course I'm OK. I'm a millionaire. Fruit?

What do you guys think about B&B's?

I'm thinking about opening a B&B in Vermont where the foliage is, you know?

Maybe you should go back to bed.

[Izzie] Can't. I'm going to the hospital.

Are you going to go talk to the Chief?

Nope. Going to clean out my locker.

I could buy a hotel. How much do you think a hotel costs?

[gasps] Izzie! Is that...

That is eight million. Eight million doesn't like to have juice spilled on it.

You have to take that to the bank today. It's making me nervous in the house.

I will. As soon as I clean out my locker.

I am fine. Really, I'm fine.

Denny loved me.

He wanted me to have this money. He wants me to be happy, so I'm happy. Juice?

♪ I guess you're just My fatal attraction-y ♪

[Meredith] She's losing it.

She almost battered and deep-fried an 8.5 million dollar check this morning.

That kind of money?

I'd buy my own hospital and stock it full of sick people.

Valvuloplasties and ruptured aneurysms.

You're a psycho. You know that, right?

I'm not the one with an 8.5 million dollar check I won't cash.

[Izzie] Stop talking about me. I'm fine.

I'm cleaning out my locker and I am going home.

Mer is the one with problems.

What's wrong with me?

Well, you haven't told McDreamy that you dumped McVet.

Oh, you haven't done that? Dude, tell him already.

She's scared. I am not scared.

Derek walked away.

He walked away and maybe that's a good thing.

Maybe he's happier. Maybe he's moved on. He's got Addison here. He's got Mark here.

He's got a lot to deal with.

And I'm not going to make him feel guilty.

I mean, I am being an adult here.

I am not going to drag him into our whole...

Izzie is the one with the big check.

I'm fine.

[Meredith] Guilt never goes anywhere on its own. It brings its friends... doubt and insecurity.

[cell phone ringing]

That your boyfriend again? I do not have a boyfriend.

Then why the guilty face?

You were sexier when you weren't talking.

[Bailey] Am I keeping you, O'Malley?

M & M in 15 minutes, people.

Wait... We get to go to M & M?

Even if we haven't finished our rounds? Even if...

I want all of you at the M & M today. Yes!

People die in this hospital on our watch.

Once a month we meet to discuss how our actions as physicians contributed to the deaths.

This is a serious exercise. [man] Dr. Bailey?

George, Alex, you guys get seats, Mer and I will get snacks.

Yeah.

Mr. and Mrs. Niles.

We got turned around on our way to Admitting.

Oh, uh, not a problem. Dr. Karev?

Uh, Mrs. Niles is scheduled for a mastectomy tomorrow.

Why don't you show her and her husband up to the fifth floor?

Is this the little man? He is adorable.

He's not so adorable at 4:00 in the morning when he's screaming and won't take a bottle.

Can we just get to the room?

It's been kind of a rough week. She had to stop nursing.

Gus here just won't eat. Here, why don't I take you up?

There you go. Yeah! Yeah.

You know, you can try a little sugar water on the bottle, just...

Until he gets used to it. [Gus cooing]

Does that woman have breast cancer? What is she, 30 years old?

It's a new baby. Probably thought the lump was a milk duct.

You learn things on the vagina squad. OK. Focus, people.

M & M. Insults flying, residents covering their asses, our bosses getting kicked in the teeth instead of us.

Seats. Snacks. Yeah.

Hey. I didn't know you were coming to the M & M.

You brought snacks? Well, yeah.

You OK? I'm fine.

No surgeries today, right? I'm ready if you need me.

No. No surgeries.

Callie. Hey.

Hi. Did you get my message? My messages?

Yeah, I gotta get a seat.

Alex is saving us a bunch if you want to sit with us.

No.

She's trying to make me feel guilty about the other night about the Izzie thing.

I thought you said you apologized. I did. I have.

I'm done. I'm not apologizing anymore.

I'm enjoying life. I'm loving the M & M. [clears throat]

[Richard] OK, people. Let's begin.

Patient 34986 died last month from complications following a heart transplant.

Dr. Burke will present.

You guys.

Isn't patient 34986... Denny.

Eight million dollars.

Eight million dollars could get us on a plane to somewhere far, far away.


[Preston] Cause of death at autopsy was an embolus that dislodged from the suture line of the transplant and caused a CVA with brainstem herniation.

[man] Dr. Burke. [woman] Dr. Burke.

[Preston clears throat]

So the company line is that he died of a CVA?

[Preston] There's no company line. That's what he died of.

Yes, let's get back to this patient's need for an emergent transplant.

You're saying that his left ventricle had been weakened by the LVAD malfunction?

[Preston] His left ventricle was weakened by the fact that he suffered from congestive heart failure.

Come on, Dr. Burke. We all know the LVAD was cut by an intern.

I'm going to my happy place.

The chain of events remain unclear.

It remains unclear to you because you were in the ER with a gunshot wound.

Why aren't we hearing from Dr. Bailey?

She was the senior physician on the case.

I am the attending on record. Yes, I was the resident in charge.

[doctors murmuring]

Uh.

Dr. Burke has summarized the medical facts of this case.

Are there any questions for me?

[doctors] Dr. Bailey.

You recently had a baby, Dr. Bailey?

I don't see what that has to do with this.

Sleep deprivation coupled with wild swings in hormone levels are factors that could cloud anyone's judgment.

I sleep just fine, Dr. Savoy.

Really? Because if a patient died due to my poor decision-making, I'd lose at least a little sleep over it.

Let me remind everyone that our purpose here is not to place blame.

This is a forum to discuss mistakes in patient care and learn from them.

So far I haven't heard Dr. Bailey admit to a mistake.

Why don't they just put a bullet in the back of her head?

It would be more humane.

[Savoy] So for a period of several hours, your interns were running amok in the hospital, totally unsupervised.

I'm waiting for a question. The question is, where were you?

There was the shooting and the ER was chaotic.

The ER's always chaotic. Did you page them during this time?

Yes. I paged them multiple times.

[Savoy] Well, apparently, they thought it was OK to ignore your pages.

Doctor, why do you think your interns have such contempt for your authority?

You don't know what you're talking about!

Dr. Karev, sit down.

[George] Izzie.

Next question.

Derek says that neither of you brought any assets into the marriage.

Well, I had my trust fund. And a sparkling personality and the futon couch.

Yes, Addison had a very ugly, very heavy futon couch.

Whatever happened to that couch?

We gave it to Mark.

She can have him. I don't want him.

OK, well, that's settled. What else?

So, aside from Addison's trust fund which remains in her name, you'll split everything. Stocks, bonds, 401k's, down the middle.

The only thing that gets complicated is the real estate.

Let me make this simple.

I'd like to keep my trailer and the land in Seattle.

Addison can have the rest.

Hold on.

The house in the Hamptons and the Brownstone near Central Park?

That's very generous, Dr. Shepherd. Thank you.

Hold on, he's up to something. I'm not.

I came here to fight over CDs and books, go to war over a crystal vase.

What are you up to, Derek? The divorce is my fault.

Let me take responsibility. We both had affairs.

You had a one-night stand with Mark.

Derek, actually... well, it was...

All right. OK. It was two... two nights. You made a mistake.

Meredith and I, we had a relationship.

Make these changes and I'll sign it today.

You weren't supposed to be in here, Izzie.

You shouldn't have had to see that.

No, it's fine. I'm fine.

Clearly the doctor thing was not working for me.

So go about your business. Run labs, cure cancer. I'm fine.

You're not going home.

Either you hang out with us or we'll call your mother.

She's a few hours away, I'm sure she wouldn't mind coming and staying with you.

All day.

You wouldn't. Dialing!

Whoa! Hey. OK.

I'll just... go hang out in the locker room.

What is she doing here? She has no business in this room.

What are you looking at me for?

I didn't have anything to do with this.

I didn't have anything to do with any of this.

I'll stay with her today if that's OK.

I'll update charts and I'll run labs and just keep an eye on her, if that's OK.

She shouldn't be alone. [Richard] Fine.

Dr. Bailey.

We just want to say about the M & M... We're really sorry.

No. You do not get to apologize to me for this.

You do not get to feel better.

And neither do I.

Get to work. O'Malley, just keep an eye on her.

Yes, Dr. Bailey.

Dr. Bailey, you understand it's nothing personal.

People talking about your hormone levels starts feeling pretty personal.

Hey, Dr. Bailey. Look, you're the baby whisperer.

Guess who drank the whole bottle? Hmm? Here, you want to hold him?

Actually, now isn't a good time. I'm about to go and get your wife's labs.

Oh. Yeah. Do you think you could talk to her?

She's kind of freaking out. She's not sure about the mastectomy.

She's thinking a lumpectomy.

She likes you. Maybe you could talk her into...

Oh, no, no. It's not my job to talk her into anything.

Maybe if she knew more about her reconstructive options.

Um, I'll send our plastic surgeon up.

Hey, Chief. You got a minute? Sure.

Quite a morning. It was.

It's always good to be reminded how important it is to be at the top of your game.

That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.

I am so glad you are back in this building.

I need your help focusing the staff.

They respond to you as an authority figure.

I mean, you're an example of what they should be. A leader.

I'm glad to have you back, Preston.

Thank you, Chief.

You're back.

I am.

You look, uh, good without an appendix. It suits you.

How are you?

Fine.

How are you? I'm great.

Feeling well? No pain?

No pain.

[pager beeping]

Oh.

That's your wife. I'm on her service.

Oh, OK, then. I will stay out of your way.

OK.

Hi, I was paged by Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd.

Dr. Grey, welcome back. Thank you.

And, it's just Montgomery now. What?

My name. The divorce was finalized this morning.

So... Montgomery.

To add to our fun, we've been asked to consult on a case where a woman has a foreign object stuck inside of her.

[man grunts]

Adam! Ow! It hurts whenever you move.

Keep your weight off my bad knee.

Sorry. I thought it was on the left side.

Nineteen years of marriage you'd think you'd have that one down.

It appears that her husband is the foreign object.

[both] Ex-husband.

[grunts] [wincing]

[woman] You had to go and get a piercing. [Adam] Sonja.

What? It's not like they're not going to find out.

This is so embarrassing.

Embarrassing is meeting your husband for lunch with your ex-husband attached.

How long is this going to take?

Because I really don't want my husband finding out.

Please, could you work out some small miracle?

[Addison] First of all we have to figure out what the piercing is caught on.

[Sonja] OK. Do you have any piercings?

Me? No! [groans]

[whispers] I'm sorry. I sell real estate.

What's that supposed to mean? I sell real estate, too.

We've been divorced for five years, but we keep running into each other.

You know, work stuff.

We get together sometimes.

It's stupid and weak, and it is never happening again.

OK. Well, Dr. Grey's going to check on the X-rays and then, then we'll take it from there OK?

But, um, you might want to cancel your lunch plans.

[knocks]

Hey.

[clears throat]

That M & M was... Yeah.

I went to tell the Chief.

About my hand.

Burke. How did... But I couldn't.

I...

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Well, I can be there if you need me in surgery.

I'm not going to do any surgeries.

I'm going to catch up on paperwork.

Wait. So, what does that mean? I don't know.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I need time to think.

I have... paperwork.

I need to do paperwork.

I know how the rumor mill works around here, George, OK?

I'm the crazy intern.

And now I'm the crazy intern whose friends have to babysit her.

You know what we should talk about is what you're gonna do with all that money once you deposit the check, after we don't let you destroy it.

[Adam groaning] [Sonja] Don't move, Adam.

[man] I'm not moving! Are those people having sex?

They were having sex. Now they're just fighting.

Good to have you back, Stevens.

I'm not back.

I'm fine. Just not back.

Hey, you're Addison Forbes Montgomery-Shepherd.

That's a lot of names. A lot of rich-sounding names.

You're rich, right?

That's rude. That's a rude question. I'm sorry. It's just I'm rich now, too.

You're not rich until you deposit the check.

Do you ever feel guilty?

I'm sorry? [Izzie] Being rich.

'Cause I have all this money now, and I don't really feel like I did anything to deserve it, and I can't really talk to my friends about it... 'cause they're all so poor.

Standing right here, Izzie.

Deposit the check, Stevens.

Just start there, OK?

And, um... the guilt will work itself out.

["Kaleidoscope" by Kate Havnevik playing]

Hey. You're everywhere.

Well, I'm sorry. For once it was actually not on purpose.

Do these look blurry to you?

What exactly am I looking at?

A divorced couple who got stuck together during...

Oh, wow. That's got to be pretty awkward.

Yeah, divorced five years and still going at it like teens at the prom.

So to speak. Hmm.

Speaking of divorce...

I heard because I'm working with your wife.

Hmm.

Ex-wife. It was time.

Good. How's Finn?

Finn is... fine.

Good.

You're right. They're blurry.

You should get some new ones.

If you go ahead with the mastectomy, there are several reconstructive options.

Saline implants are used most often, but silicone has a more natural look and feel.

I can't deal with this right now.

Diana, come on. It'll take two seconds, huh?

You're the one who has to feel them, so you decide.

I don't care. Dude, believe me, you care.

Dr. Karev. Dude, he's right. You care.

Dr. Bailey? What's wrong with my wife?

I'm... sorry.

As you know she has stage two B breast cancer...

I know that. Will you please tell me what's wrong with her?

Mr. Niles...

Because she won't. She won't talk to me.

I've tried. And I'm trying and I know this sucks and it's scary, but we can do this. We can fight this, but she won't.

She won't even look at Gus, she won't hold him, and all he wants is his mom. So just...

She's such a good mom.

I know it doesn't seem like that, but she is.

OK, I can schedule a psych consult.

[Nyles] I don't want a psych consult.

I just want my wife back. Please.

[baby crying]

Now she's talking crazy. How she might not have the surgery at all.

Mr. Niles. Can you please tell her that she has to have the surgery?

Please. Somebody has to tell her.

[Adam] I did this for you, you know?

You know you have got to stop doing things for me.

I'm with Tom now. I love Tom.

[Adam] I still can't believe you left me for that guy.

What does Tom have that I don't? [sighs]

Well, he doesn't have a pierced...

You two need to stay completely still so that we can get a clear picture.

We fought through 19 years of marriage.

The only time we didn't fight was when we were having sex.

[Adam] Not true.

I still love you. OK. I... I'm in hell!

[door opens]

Mom?

Dad?

[Sonja] Scratch that.

Now I'm in hell.

Jennifer, maybe you want to go wait out in the...

You guys are so paying for my therapy.

And my rent.

And my new car. Of course, sweetie.

Oh, go ahead. Coddle her. [pager beeps]

But you are old enough to know that your parents are sexual beings and that they make mistakes.

Wait. Is that what you call this, Mom? A mistake?

Because I call this you once again being a slut.

Hey! You don't talk to me like that. I am your mother.

Yeah. What a great role model you've turned out to be.

Look at you.

Cheating on your husband with your ex-husband. God!

And, Daddy, what are you doing? I thought...

I thought you'd finally moved on.

You said you were going to start dating and...

It's complicated, honey.

Well, it seems that your IUD has dislodged from your uterus, hooked onto your husband's piercing and is embedded in your vaginal wall.

Did she say piercing?

Daughter. Perfect.

Hey. Hey.

So who got the Brownstone? You heard?

People talk around here. I listen.

Who got the Brownstone? That's none of your business.

I left my bike in the basement.

I just want to know who to talk to to get it back.

Buy a new bike.

You know, this angry divorcée thing really turns me on.

I got the Brownstone.

And you'll get your bike back when you come to your senses and go back home.

Derek took the Hamptons?

Derek hates the Hamptons.

Derek gave you the Hamptons, too?

He still doesn't know the whole story, does he?

No.

And as long as you don't tell him, you get to be the good guy, and I'm just the chump who seduced his wife for the hell of it.

Real fair.

["Wild Is The Wind" by The Second Band playing]

♪ By the time spring comes I've carved my heart out ♪ I think I'm gonna buy something for Bailey. And for Burke.

What do you think Burke would want? Nothing you can get with money.

He likes jazz. I'm not buying him a CD, George.

I'm a multi-millionaire. I need to buy him something... big.

A house. In the Bahamas.

I'd buy the Bahamas. Or at least a Bahama.

An island. You know, for eight million dollars, I'd buy an island.

Oh, you're an intern. When would you have time to go to your Bahama?

I'd quit. Oh, no, you wouldn't.

You're a surgeon. You operate. That's what you do.

Sorry. [Izzie] Why?

It's fine. I'm fine.

I am not a surgeon. [exhales]

My patient? Thirty-year-old with advanced breast cancer.

I say live your life while you can in the Bahamas.

Have you told Derek yet that you broke up with Finn?

I'm giving him time.

That's stupid. [George] You know what's stupid?

Is carrying around a check for eight million dollars.

[sighs] I'm fine. The check is fine. We're all fine. OK?

♪ Wild is the wind Leaves you shaken ♪

♪ And drunk in a corner somewhere In Prague ♪

♪ 'Cause, baby, that's just what it is ♪ I slept with another guy.

Do I tell George?

I, um... broke up with Finn.

Do I tell Derek?

I can't tell Derek.

I have to tell George.

♪ Just to him close his lovers lips ♪

♪ 'Cause, baby, that's just what it is ♪ Honey. Please. At least hold Gus. Stop it.

No, don't. Stop it. Just...

Will you at least talk to me? I want you to leave me alone.

[Gus crying]

You took a lot of hits today at that M & M.

Some of them justified. Some of them not.

Compassion and empathy are a big part of the job.

Look, I don't care what Savoy said.

And I know I haven't always been supportive.

But being a parent makes you a better doctor.

[foot steps]

Hi. I just wanted to say hi.

Denny left me eight million dollars. 8.7 million dollars to be exact.

Did you know? That he had money? 'Cause I didn't know.

No. I didn't know.

I'm thinking about using it to travel.

Maybe go to Italy. I've never been.

I hear Venice is amazing. Izzie.

I'm fine. Really I am. I'm fine.

Everyone thinks I'm not. Everyone thinks I'm... but I'm fine.

You're fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine.

So...

I got shot.

I got shot because I was coming back to the hospital to check on Denny.

Because you told me to.

I'm not fine.

Denny asked you to marry him and now he is dead.

You're not fine.

Don't come in here and...

just... we're not fine.

I'm sorry.

We were friends.

You were my boss, but...

I think we were friends, too.

And I never meant for anyone to get hurt.

And I know there is nothing I can do to take it back.

No.

Preston, please.

You quit.

You quit being a surgeon.

You have two good hands!

And you aren't using them.

Feel guilty about that.

Sonja, quit grabbing my leg.

I am not grabbing you anywhere. She is.

Mr. Morris, we need to position you correctly in order to get a clear image.

Dr. Yang, move him a little to the left.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Well, I heard about it. I had to see it.

And I've seen enough.

Dr. Yang, I need you to lift him a little as you pull him.

Trying.

Now lift his right leg 20 degrees.

[Adam and Sonja scream]

Pain! - Freeze! Hold that position.

OK, now, Dr. Grey, can you kind of slowly swirl Mrs. Kellman in a counter-clockwise direction?

Swirl? Swirl?

Swirl. Swirl.

[Sonja] Oh. OK.

Oh, my God. Sonja. God, Adam, not now.

- [Richard] Careful! Careful! Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Addison] Yeah, now. Grey, Yang.

On the count of three, I want you to slowly, gently pull them apart.

One, two, three.

[gasping] [beeping]

OK, he's having a...

Sonja!

Heart attack! He's having a heart attack!

Oh, thank God. I mean, Code Blue!

[Richard] He's tearing through his aorta.

We need to get him to an OR or he's going to die.

Who's the cardiothoracic surgeon on call?

Dr. Harrison, but he's in surgery. Where's Burke?

He's in the conference room. But he's not on the board yet.

Well, he is now. Notify the OR. Let's move, people. Come on! Go, go, go!

How do we do this? You stand on my right side.

On your right side. And if at any time during the procedure...

If you tremor. I'll look at you and you'll know to slide and do the sutures we've practiced.

[Cristina] What if one of the nurses notices? What if they say something?

Cristina, I can't walk away from this surgery.

If I do, that man in there will die.

So tremor or no tremor, I have to try.

But you...

I'm your intern. I will be there on your right side.

[neck cracking]

Ten blade.

[Addison] As soon as we hear something about your ex-husband, we'll let you know.

Since I removed your IUD, you may want to use a backup method.

Oh, I doubt I'll be having sex anytime soon, once I tell Tom.

You... You're gonna tell your husband?

You know, the first time it happened, I felt so guilty.

And I wasn't going to tell Tom because it wasn't gonna happen again.

And then it happened again. And again.

And then somewhere along the way, I just stopped feeling guilty.

Yeah. I'm going to tell my husband.

I think the truth just has to come out, you know?

[Preston clears throat]

Dr. Burke, I know it's a lot to ask, but I would really appreciate it if you'd let me try my running whip stitch.

All right. Take a good bite.

You want to make sure it holds.

Good.

Don't put too much pressure.

There. Keep pulling.

Oh, my God.

Cristina's doing a running whip stitch.

On a heart.

I guess sleeping with your boss has its perks.

This sucks. Cristina gets sex and perks.

Maybe you should just apologize again, George.

Yeah, because you're in a great position to give relationship advice.

Cristina's doing a running whip stitch. On a heart.

I don't feel like talking.

[sighs]

When I'm driving home at night, after a long day at work, all I can think about is getting to my baby.

If this is where you tell me to fight the cancer so I don't miss out on the joys of motherhood...

Then I get home. The baby's crying.

The exhaustion hits and I resent that tiny baby's presence in my house.

My previously very quiet house.

Why are you telling me this?

So you know what I do?

[giggles] First I pick a fight with my husband, you know, blame him for not settling the baby down.

Then I bitch about the neighbor's loud music.

Then if I'm really tired and pissed off, I blame the baby.

I mean, if you hadn't been breastfeeding, you never would have thought the lump was a clogged milk duct.

You would've gone to the doctor as soon as you felt it.

The cancer wouldn't have gotten this far and you wouldn't be here making this decision.

Am I close?

[sighing]

What kind of a mother blames her own baby for her cancer?

A mother who's human.

A mother who's overwhelmed.

["Be Good or Be Gone" by Fionn Regan playing]

If this is going to kill me eventually, wouldn't it be easier if it happened when Gus was little?

Wouldn't it be easier for him if I just never existed?

OK. Now this is the part when I tell you to fight the cancer so that you don't miss out on the joys of motherhood.

Derek. Yeah. Hey, you know what I like?

I like that we're civilized.

We're these adult grown up people who can be divorced and friendly.

We deserve a medal. It wasn't a one-night stand.

What? Mark and I.

It wasn't a one-night stand. I was in love with him.

Or at least I thought I was.

After you left, we lived together for two months.

I wanted to believe that we could make it work.

That I hadn't thrown my marriage away. That I hadn't thrown my life away on... a fling.

But he's Mark.

And, well, I caught him with someone else and... and then Richard called, so...

We both had relationships with other people.

We're both equally liable for everything. So please, take the Brownstone.

All I want is Seattle. I want Seattle. And I want never to see you again.

♪ Be good or be, be gone ♪

[elevator bell dings]

♪ I'll read to you on Saturdays ♪

You're here.

You're everywhere.

And I can't not tell you.

You know, I've been not telling you all day because I thought it was kind and I thought I was giving you space, but I can't not tell you because you're here and you're you and...

I broke up with Finn.

OK.

♪ Be good or be gone ♪

OK?

Then, OK.

I told you.

[elevator bell dings]

The operation was successful.

The next 24 to 48 hours are really critical, but...

We expect your father to make a full recovery.

Thank you so much, Dr. Burke.

[Meredith] First do no harm. Easier said than done.

We can take all the oaths in the world, but the fact is most of us do harm all the time.

I have eight million dollars.

So I've heard.

I can do anything I want. Just about.

And all I really want to do is a running whip stitch.

My first year as an intern I had a stable cardiac patient who blew out his lung while I transported him to CT.

I called in a code. By the time everyone got there, he was dead.

If I'd put a chest tube in right away...

You made a mistake.

But I stayed. I worked.

I learned.

I never made that mistake again.

If I had quit, all I would've had was that life... that I lost.

Instead, I get to save lives.

Every day I get to save lives.

[Meredith] Sometimes even when we're trying to help, we do more harm than good.

She told you.

I've known you my whole life.

I grew up with you, so I know what you're thinking.

That there is a year of your life wasted trying to make it work with Addison and you could have been with Meredith.

That you could be happy right now.

That all of this... everything.

That you and Meredith could have had a real chance.

Still...

I thought you should know the truth.

Thought I owed you that.

As a friend.

You're not my friend.

[Meredith] And then the guilt rears its ugly head.

What you do with that guilt is up to you.

Babysitting, Dr. Bailey?

That's right. I'm babysitting.

I'm being all unprofessional and emotionally involved while my patient and her husband are having a moment together.

You might want to leave now.

I'm feeling a rush of hormones coming on and there's no telling what I might do.

How's it going in there?

I think they're leaning towards a mastectomy.

That's good.

Uh...

About Izzie.

I didn't do anything. I know, Karev.

You didn't do anything, you weren't even here.

No, listen. I knew.

Izzie told me what she was gonna do, but I didn't want to get involved.

I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything to stop her.

You weren't the only one.

Alex.

Thank you.

["Don't Mistake Me" by Keisha White playing]

[Meredith] We're left with a choice.

I got fried chicken, extra crispy.

Coleslaw, peach cobbler, Beetle Jump and...

Samurai Ambush.

The other night when I told you I was done trying to compete, that was me breaking up with you.

No.

No, I think I would've noticed that.

Except you didn't.

Which is why I broke up with you.

At least now you don't have to feel guilty anymore.

Shut up.

[Meredith] Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place... or...

learn from the guilt and do your best to move on.

Are you seriously not going to deposit that check?

[sighing]

Some good needs to come from this money.

And until I know what that good is, no, I'm not depositing the check.

♪ Don't you take me for anybody ♪

♪ Don't confuse me with nobody ♪

♪ Who's hung up on you ♪

♪ If you wanna see a broken heart ♪

♪ Try looking in another place ♪