A shadow shall fall over the universe...
...and evil will grow in its path...
...and death will come from the skies.
What did you bring me?
Wait. Wait for me.
What is it?
Do not try to escape.
You are in my control.
Look at me.
I am the sum of all evils.
My power infests all times, all galaxies...
But many still seek me out.
A green jewel they must possess.
But see how I destroy their lives.
Right 12 degrees.
Yeah, New York. Big deal.
Scum center of the world.
Now they're even talking about letting in lowlifes from other planets too.
My name's Harry Canyon. I drive a cab.
Hey, you free?
Yeah, get in.
-Where to, pal? -The U.N. building.
The U.N. building.
What a joke. They turned it into low-rent housing. It's a dump.
Okay, sucker, hand over your cash.
Nobody touches Harry Canyon unless I want them to.
He's dead. Get the girl.
Help me! Please!
Normally, my rule's don't get involved.
But somehow, hey, this dame got to me.
They-- They wanted it, but my-- My father wouldn't tell them...
...and now I'm the only one.
Hey, relax, sister, there's a cop station up here.
You can tell them....
Oh, shit. Just what I needed.
-Police. What do you want? -I wanna report a murder.
-What else is new? -Hey, you gonna let me in or what?
Yeah, hang on.
How you doing, Harry?
She couldn't take it, huh?
Hey, kiss my ass, will you?
I'll do it for 20 bucks.
I told you, I'm an American citizen. I-- I just lost my papers or something.
Goddamn illegal aliens.
Before you go any further, pal, I gotta tell you, it's cash upfront.
Thousand bucks a day for a full investigation...
...another thou if the assailant is caught. Understand?
Yeah. Hey, here's a dollar.
Thanks for nothing.
You think you can do better? Punk.
So here I was, stuck with this beautiful girl.
I knew she was gonna be nothing but trouble.
Where am I?
-My place. -They'd have killed me if not for you.
What did they wanna snuff you for anyway?
An ancient relic that my father found in the desert.
It's worth a fortune, especially to the Venusians.
They think it has spiritual powers.
All I know is that since we found it, people have been dying all around us.
When we got to New York, my father hid it.
Now he's dead.
They'll kill me next. I'm the only one who knows where it is. They'll....
Listen, nobody's gonna find you here.
You can sleep on the couch if you want.
And there's beer in the fridge.
So help yourself, all right?
I didn't know whether to believe her or not.
Something inside me told me.... Was a sucker play.
Can I sleep with you?
Sucker play or not, I must have turned her on something fierce...
...because this dame was going for broke.
Or maybe it was her first time with a New Yorker, I don't know.
Anyway, nothing can beat good old American know-how...
...and I was giving this broad the stars and stripes forever.
-Where's the girl? -Where--? What--? What girl?
Don't play dumb with me, cabby. You showed up at the station...
...with a broad over your shoulder. Where is she?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Listen, cabbie, you hear from her, you call us.
You don't, you're dead. Understand?
Don't hold your breath, pal.
-Where's the girl? -Come on. Not again.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
I'll get right to the point, Mr. Canyon.
My name is Rudnick.
I represent a group of investors from a nearby planet...
...who wish to purchase something from the young lady.
The price is fair, but they're starting to get very restless.
When you see her, tell her that time is running out.
Thank you, Mr. Canyon. Good day.
The burning smell kept reminding me I shouldn't have got involved.
But for some reason, I just couldn't get her off my mind.
There was something about her. An element of danger.
It really turned me on.
Transcom Message Service.
Message for Harry Canyon. Will you accept the charges?
Meet female acquaintance at Statue of Liberty, 4:00.
Stop. End message.
The girl. Had to be her.
But first, I had to ditch a couple assholes.
That's what all the excitement's about?
I wanna get rid of it, Harry.
I want this to be over. I talked to Rudnick.
He said he'd give me 300,000 Krono-dollars for it.
But-- But I'm frightened. I don't trust him.
Three hundred grand is a lot of dough.
Will you help me?
When she looked at me like that...
...I knew I couldn't say no.
I'll come along for 50 percent of the take.
You can have anything you want.
Just stay with me.
There they are.
Okay. I'll keep you covered.
Hey, baby, we're rich.
What do you say we take a trip? Hey, just the two of us.
I'd like to, Harry, but I've made other plans.
I'm taking it all.
-Are you sure this is what you want? -Positive.
Pretty, but dumb.
You know, even though she would've killed me, I kind of felt sorry for her.
She was okay, just a little greedy.
As for me, I put it down as a two-day ride with one hell of a tip.
You've had your first lesson, young one.
My evil corrupts the most innocent.
I've chosen you because you possess powers...
...you do not yet understand.
Look deep into me.
In some worlds, I'm worshipped as God.
It all started when I found the green meteorite.
I read in Faraday's Life of the Planets that smaller ones like this...
...are supposed to burn up when they enter the atmosphere.
But for some reason, this one didn't.
So I brought it to my room, stuck it in my rock collection and forgot about it.
I was experimenting with natural electricity...
...and with the storm warnings up, I figured tonight I'd hit the jackpot.
All I needed was a little juice.
There was no way I was gonna walk around this place...
...with my dork hanging out.
This looked like something right out of The Ten Commandments.
Ullatec Ullatec Ullatec
By the powers of the glowing Loc-Nar placed in your idol's hand...
...I demand you come forth, Ullatec!
Grant me your strength in return for a living mortal sacrifice.
It has been ordained.
Come forth, Ullatec. I demand it.
What'd they do that for?
Normally, I'd be dead by now.
I kept thinking I was gonna run out of air, but my new body worked great.
I just hoped her body was working as good as mine.
She had the most beautiful eyes.
I wanted to make some conversation, but I found my new self...
...asking the same old stupid questions.
Are you from around here?
Well, you may not believe this, but I'm from another world...
...from a place called Earth.
Earth? I, too, am from Earth.
My name is Katherine Wells, and I'm from the British colony of Gibraltar.
You saved my life.
I have no reward to give you...
...but if any part of me pleases your senses...
...I would give it to you willingly.
This was great.
There was no way I'd get a chick like this back on Earth.
There was only one problem.
I don't know who these assholes were...
...but they sure picked a bad time to show up.
They split us up and took me to this weird castle-type place.
I wanted to find out where they'd taken Katherine...
...but none of these guys seemed to speak English.
They tell me you are Den of Earth.
The one who dared to steal the female sacrifice from the queen.
This guy was a shrimp, so I figured I'd play it tough.
Where is the girl?
I am Ard...
...supreme leader of the revolution and the next ruler of the world.
Well, aren't we fierce?
Guards, castrate him.
Boy, I was pretty good at this stuff.
Excellent. You are worthy to serve me.
Give me the girl or die.
-Well, if I have a choice, I'll take death. -So be it.
You'll have to do better than that.
I could see why they made this guy their leader.
But if you're really interested in the girl...
...I've had her encased in glass.
-She's dead. -Actually, no. She's sleeping.
-But only I can awaken her. -What do you want of me?
I want you to steal the sacred Loc-Nar.
-What is this Loc-Nar? -The queen's glowing sphere, fool.
The sacrifice to Ullatec can only be performed...
...by the possessor of the sacred Loc-Nar.
This is Norl, my bravest warrior.
You will go with him to the queen's castle and steal the Loc-Nar.
-Then I will give you the girl. -And if I refuse?
If you refuse, you die, she dies, everybody dies.
Sounded reasonable to me.
Guard post ahead. We must go underground.
This guy Norl seemed to know what he was doing.
And for a gorilla, his English wasn't half bad.
We're underneath the castle moat.
What are they saying?
They talk of the beast who prowls these catacombs...
...with a fierce hunger and sharp teeth 6 inches long.
Sorry, 16 inches long.
Now we separate.
You and Korg take this door into the queen's quarters.
The rest will move through the walls...
...and enter her chamber from the other side.
Whoever gets the Loc-Nar first will return it to Ard.
Good luck, Den.
It was just like the ball I dug up in the yard.
As I saw the Loc-Nar's glow, I had this real funny feeling.
Then the lights came on. Talk about embarrassing.
Can I slit his throat, Your Majesty?
Yes, slit his throat.
Thank you, Your Majesty.
Stop! I have.... I have something better in mind.
-Come with me. -Jeez, not again.
This always happens.
She's the queen. She can do whatever she wants.
-Yeah, sure. -Sure.
If you please me, I may let you live.
-What must I do? -Satisfy my appetites.
Eighteen years of nothing, and now twice in one day. What a place.
The rising moon climaxes our love, Den.
-It is a sign. -Yes, a sign.
I had no idea what she was talking about.
Neverwhere is a troubled land.
Your strength has brought great peace to my restless body.
It could bring great peace to all the troubled people of this land.
I knew I was good, but I didn't know I was that good.
Your Majesty, the Loc-Nar is missing! Stolen!
Fiend! You make love to me while your accomplice steals my scepter.
Now Ard will perform the sacrifice.
Guards! Take him! Hold him still. I will kill him myself.
Boy, was she pissed off.
Prepare the fliers! I want his head!
By the power of the magic Loc-Nar placed in your hands...
...I command you.
Come forth, Ullatec!
Here is your sacrifice.
Ullatec, now give me your power.
Throw her in.
No! You'll ruin everything.
-Kill them! Kill them both! -The Loc-Nar is mine!
-Stupid bitch. Get away from me. -Give it to me.
-Give it to me. -The Loc-Nar's mine.
Don't you take it.
I know what a Loc-Nar is. It's my Loc-Nar.
-Where did they go? -They're gone. That's all that matters.
They probably went back to Earth. Boy, will Mom be surprised.
You could have the power of Ullatec. You could be ruler of all these people.
But, Den, with the Loc-Nar, you could've returned to Earth.
I like it better here.
On Earth, I'm nobody.
But here, I'm Den.
Even when someone has the strength to discard me...
...my power is not diminished.
Someone always finds me.
Are you Captain Lincoln F. Sternn?
Lincoln Sternn, you stand here accused...
...of 12 counts of murder in the first degree...
...14 counts of armed theft of Federation property...
...22 counts of piracy in high space...
...18 counts of fraud...
...37 counts of rape...
...and one moving violation.
How do you plead?
Not guilty? Are you nuts?
It's okay, Charlie. I got an angle.
Call the first witness.
But the prosecutor's got you cold.
You're as guilty as a cat in a goldfish bowl.
The prosecution calls Hanover Fiste.
Calling Hanover Fiste.
-Hanover Fiste. -Calling Hanover Fiste.
Listen, Sternn, change the plea to guilty.
Throw yourself on the mercy of the court.
I told you, Charlie, I got an angle.
But the most we can hope for is to get you buried in secrecy...
...so your grave don't get violated.
-Plead guilty. -Shut up, Charlie.
I got an angle.
State your name for the record.
I am Hanover Fiste.
You know the defendant, Captain Sternn?
Yes, I know Captain Sternn.
And never did there live a kinder, more generous man.
I promised him 35,000 zuleks to testify on my behalf.
He's an overflowing cup, filled with the very cream of human goodness.
In all the time I've known him, he's never done anything immoral.
Unless maybe the preschoolers' prostitute ring.
And he's never done anything illegal--
Unless you count all the times he sold dope disguised as a nun.
He's always been a good, law-abiding citizen--
Give me a break!
--of the Federation, and-- And--
Shut up. Shut up!
--a community-conscious individual.
He's nothing but a low-down, double-dealing...
...backstabbing, larcenous, perverted worm.
Hanging's too good for him.
Burning's too good for him.
-Hanover.... -He should be torn...
...into little bitsy pieces and buried alive!
I'll kill him. Kill!
Hey, hey, Hanover, take it easy. I'm sure we can talk this over.
Okay, Hanover, you've had this coming.
Now, let's see.
-It's nothing, boss. -And, Hanover.
Very few escape my grasp.
Even in death, my powers continue.
Even in death, my powers continue.
Come on, Stefan. Drop the fuckers and let's get the hell out of here.
We're hit pretty bad, Skip.
You'd better go back and see how bad it is.
-Can you keep her in the air, Skip? -Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Skip, something's following us.
-What is it? -It's some kind of green meteorite.
Holden, are you okay?
Yeah, yeah. I'm coming back, Skip.
What the hell's happening back there?
From one war to another, my influence is always present.
The paltry armies of the universe are but playthings to me.
Please, Dr. Anrak! Dr. Anrak!
Dr. Anrak, six more mutants were sighted in Arizona this morning.
Do you still say this has nothing to do with the green radiation from space?
Doctor, is it true that the president pulled you off the Jupiter Six project...
...so you could investigate those mutations?
Doctor, answer me that, please.
Please, the green radiations from space....
Well, what I wanna know is, what's the Army doing about this?
Hell, my constituents are turning green.
They're growing arms on their backs.
There's something or someone up there in space...
...and voters have a right to know about it.
Senator, we have no proof...
...that these mutations are the result of interference from outer space.
In fact, Dr. Anrak has just come in, so let's hear what he has to say.
-Doctor? -First of all, there's no cause for alarm.
As for the theories of interference by alien beings...
...it is my firm opinion that we on Earth...
...are the only intelligent, technically advanced civilization...
...present in the universe.
-Thank goodness. -That's a relief.
I was scared for a while, you know.
Very reassuring, very reassuring.
And-- And whatever is causing these mutations...
...is not from outer space.
It's more likely just an isolated biological phenomen--
What is this? Doctor!
Oh, nice job.
How am I gonna fix this guy? He's fucked.
Guess we turned it up a little too high.
-Sorry, man. -You're sorry. What about me?
I gotta put this asshole back together.
-Where am I? -Hey, who's the chick?
Look at my clothes.
Who's gonna pay for the dry cleaning?
I demand you return me to my office immediately.
Too late. Molecular-- Molecular instabilities...
...all around the spacecraft. You cannot leave.
What? Is he kidding?
Oh, yeah. Instability zone. You're stuck here.
But I have to be at my parents' for dinner tonight.
And my gynecologist appointment is on Wednesday.
Not anymore. Would you like a drink?
Come with me.
You'll feel better after a glass of fresh blo-aak.
You have any diet soda?
Oh, typical robot.
The first Earth chick we see in 10 years...
...and he's gotta make a play for her.
Hey, do we have any of that Plutonian nyborg left?
Yeah. Just one bag.
It's in the transmitter compartment.
Think this is enough?
-No, go for broke. -Good thinking, man.
That was incredible.
I've never felt anything like it.
Oh, great. I've been programmed to be fully proficient in sexual activities.
-Do you want to go steady? -Gee, I don't know.
I already have a boyfriend, but....
What he does not know will not hurt him.
But I'd feel so guilty.
Of course you would.
Earth women who experience sexual ecstasy with mechanical assistance...
...always tend to feel guilty.
But I don't understand. We laugh together...
...care for each other. We have highly proficient sex.
Why can't we get married?
Look, we're different, okay? Let's leave it at that.
What do you mean, different?
But mixed marriages just don't work.
I'm afraid that I'll come home one day and find you screwing the toaster.
You'll just have to trust me.
All right, all right, I'll marry you. But on one condition:
I want a Jewish wedding.
A Jewish wedding? Okay.
I forgot, are you circumcised?
You okay to land this thing?
No problem, man.
I think you're going a little high, man.
It's okay, man.
If there's one thing I know, it's how to drive when I'm stoned.
Like, you know your perspective's fucked...
...so you just gotta let your hands work the controls as if you're straight.
Good landing, man.
My stories are almost over.
I have chosen you...
...because you are the future who could destroy me.
With your death, I break the chain for all time.
Look into me one final time.
See my evil destroy your race.
Then prepare to die.
Death to all who oppose us!
To the council chambers!
They're killing everyone. We must escape.
The city is burning.
Elder, we must arm ourselves.
We must fight.
We are not a race of warriors.
We are statesmen and scientists.
From our very beginning, it was ordained...
...that the warrior race of Taarak the Defender...
...would aid us in times of need. This was the pact.
Taarak the Defender? His race is dead.
They cannot defend anyone.
Some say that the race is not dead, that one still lives.
One? What good is one?
One of Taarak's blood can do much.
Elder, they're in the hall!
Well, who is this last Defender? How can he be summoned?
It is Taarna, of the blood of Taarak the Defender, the last of the race...
...and must be summoned as my forefathers summoned Taarak himself:
But will this Defender answer?
A Taarakian has no choice. They must answer.
It is in their blood.
They're at the door.
In the halls, quickly. We must do something.
Bar the door.
We will summon the Defender together.
To defend, this is the pact.
But when life loses its value and is taken for naught...
...then the pact is to avenge.
Hey, look. A new one.
Where you from, baby?
Doesn't talk much, does she?
She doesn't have to talk for what I wanna do with her.
Come on, baby, let's see what's under there.
Hey, she's tough.
Maybe she wants to fight.
Or maybe she wants to take us all on.
You'll find them over there, beyond the oasis...
...towards the green glow.
A Taarakian. We have captured a Taarakian.
Are you sure?
Yes, Your Holiness.
But the Taarakian race is dead...
She has the marks, Holiness. I saw them.
Have her bound and washed.
...bring her to me.
And what of the bird?
So this is the Taarakian.
Somehow, I thought it would be more difficult...
...to capture a Taarakian.
Pull him down. I'll put an arrow through his head.
Mount the bats!
I want her dead!
This time you die, Taarakian bitch!
Do not sacrifice yourself.
You cannot destroy me.
And the spirit of Taarna is transferred across the universe...
...to a new Defender...
...and the power of evil is contained...
...for another generation...
...and a new Taarakian is born...