Heavy Traffic (1973) Script

♪ Are you going to scarborough fair ♪

♪ Parsley, sage Rosemary and thyme ♪

♪ Remember me to the one who lives there ♪

♪ He once was a true love of mine ♪

♪ Are you going to scarborough fair ♪

♪ Parsley, sage Rosemary and thyme ♪

♪ Remember me to the one who lives there ♪

♪ He once was a true love of mine ♪

♪ Are you going to scarborough fair ♪

♪ Parsley, sage Rosemary and thyme ♪

♪ Remember me to the one who lives there ♪

♪ He once was a true love of mine ♪

What makes you happy? What makes you happy?

Where do you go? Where do you go?

Where do you hide? Where do you hide?

WHO DO YOU SEE? WHO DO YOU SEE? ♪♪ who do you trust?

Hey! Who do you trust?

You motherfucker, what's happenin'?

Hey! Elisha?

Damn! Whoo! I... I never thought...

What you doin'? Look here. I never thought I'd meet you here.

You told me you was never gonna come back here.

I thought I was never gonna see you here again.

Aw, shit.

You know. I mean, you should be back blowin' your horn.

Who do you screw?

Who do you screw?

What kills the cat?

I ain't there. I ain't there. What kills the pain?

What, what, what? They ain't ready.

It ain't ready? Oh, I can dig it.

Game up, game win.

Bug around, side string.

Transaction. Play your heart.

Hurt so bad. Gotta win. Everyone loses.

Everything loses.

Gotta win big. Sick and tired of losing.

Where is it all going?

Where is it all going?

Where does it lead us?

Where does it lead us?

Tilt city, pinball out, blinkin' lights, shot to hell.

Fuck it all!

Tilt city, pinball out, blinkin' lights, shot to hell.

Fuck it all!

Shit, let's go get a jug. You've got the money?

I figure we can get somethin'. Yeah.

Let's go get a jug and talk about times.

I got up this morning, and I was thinkin' about you.

And I thought of this song, which I'm gonna play for you right now.

I won't play that other 'cause it says "old darkies."

♪ All the world is sad and dreary ♪

♪ everywhere I roam ♪ Oh, I won't play that again, either.

Hey, what a night!

Pop's okay.

You should've seen those poor bastards on the dock scatter. Think of that.

Those dumb loonies think they could pull a strike on the docks all by themselves.

No one strikes without permission from the organization.

It took me just two hours in Brooklyn, and I had a million puerto ricans screamin' for work.

What do you think of that?

You should have seen those poor bastards' faces on the docks...

When we pulled in with two truckloads of stinkin' spicks!

Hey, hey, how come you think I didn't pay for any drinks tonight, huh?

I'm respected in this neighborhood.

Goddamn stoplights.

Hey, man, can you spare a quarter?

No one fucks with Angie. Hey, come on, Angie.

We got better things to do. Come on.

I get respect from the organization.

I get respect from the father.

Angie, come on.

Come on.

Hey, Angelo! Come on.

You're messin' me up. Here Angie comes!

You're big and strong and handsome.

Damn it!

You goddamn son of a bitch!

Honey, when am I gonna see you again?

You keep this shit up, never!



You still up drawing?

Ya know, Michael, darling, your bastard father has been out all night again.

Pop's okay.

And I'm not? Well, you're okay too, ma.

I love you both, but I got my own problems, you know?

Mmm. H-how'd you like some breakfast?

It's too early now, ma.

Hey, I thought you'd be sleepin'. Hey, Ida, what are you doin' up?

Praying for the dead. Who died?

Someone close.

Anyone I know?

You died!

Twenty-three years of suffering. So go marry an Italian.

Stays out all night with some dumb whore.

Catholics don't get divorced.

Big deal!

I died the day I married a goy.

Now it's your turn, Angie.

Roast in hell!

I got one left over.

Go meet your Marys and josephs.

Your mother is a goddamn crazy bitch, Michael!

Mother of God!

Thank God she needs glasses.

Your mother tried to kill me.

What happened, Pop? Didn't you score last night?

Hey, come on, son. Not you too.

You gotta quit takin' your mother's side in these family arguments.

Ain't you got any respect for your father?

Hey, what's the matter with you?

You never leave the room, you draw all the time, and I never see you with a girl.

I was thinkin' about askin' your Molly for a date.

Eat your breakfast, Michael, darling.

And don't give that bastard any of it!

Your father gets big respect in this neighborhood.

So what if I screw around now and then? It's expected.

Hey, come on!

You know, I've been wantin' to talk to you for a long time now.

It's not good, you stayin' away from the girls.

I mean, being 22 years old and never having been laid.

Well, it's-it's not Italian.

I'm part Jewish, Pop. But I mean your Italian half.

Listen, son, come down with me on the docks and join the union.

Screw the docks! You two still talkin'?

What kind of Guinea crap is he filling your head with now, Michael?

What do you give a shit for? He's my goddamn son!

He's your goddamn son? That's right.

But who wants him now after what you did to him?

Look what you did to me! I was an honest, adorable wife...

Hey, it's Michael Colioni!

What you doin' there?

What you doin' there?

Hey, crazy man, how come you're not down in your basement?

Well, I came to kill your pigeon, boy.

That's bullshit, moe. You're probably peekin' down at the ladies.

Yeah! My peekin' days long shut down, Michael.

I ain't there no more. I just ain't there.

Ah, you're just a crazy nigger, moe.

Just a goddamn crazy nigger. We's all niggers, boy.

You and me, just goddamn crazy niggers.

We's all niggers, boy.

Only some of us don't know it yet.

Hey, listen, you want some of this shit?

Even your pigeon's a nigger!

That's why I'm gonna kill him.

Moe, you ain't gonna do shit.

I just ain't there.

Every... everybody plays like they're there.

But they ain't there. I ain't there.

Your pigeon ain't there.

He flies high like he's there.

But he, he don't fly unless you open that cage.

And he got to come back 'cause he's trained to.

He ain't there.

Okay, bird. Go.

Keep goin'. Fly, bitch. Get outta here.

Fly, mother!

Dumb fucker!

Come on, there! Flap them wings, baby! Get that thing, boy!

Fly, fucker! Fly! Come on, let's go! Come on!

He's goin', moe! He's gonna do it!

Why, you little dumb, stupid...

I set you free, and you shit on me.

I likes that bird.

Ma's brother Jerry promised me a big job in the garment center.

We got the best lineup in there, and you're sitting here worried about a goddamn...

We got problems. That bitch, that's your problem.

Don't let Jerry hear you. She's a good girl.

Let the designer talk. Let the designer talk.

I still say that the way around the goddamn problem...

Is to slip the right guy a couple of dollars...

What kind of talk is that? What about designing?

What kind of silk do you use?

What is he talkin' about?

I can't get the boss away from the girls!

You can't charge ten cents an hour. The fuckin' union ain't gonna like it.

Tell me about it. Look at those girls out there.

They're Gettin' $16 an hour!

Hey, Michael!

Glad you showed up. Hi, Jerry.

You're lookin' good, kid. Heard you wanna go to the coast.

Well, hell, everyone wants to go to the coast who can't make it in the big city..

Size "c" cup. That's the wrong goddamn brassiere, Shirley.

Well, now. Where were we?

Well, okay, Jerry, you been bullshittin' my ma for a year now.

I mean about this big-ass job, and, like, I'm here and what do you got?

Uh, well, uh, right, kid. That's it, fannie.

Fill 'em out good. Stuff 'em. Make 'em look real good, huh?

Hey, slip the right guy a couple of dollars...

It's not the problem with the girls. It's a question of...

We got 70-year-old ladies on the machines...

Hey, kid, you wanna get my catch?

Sure. Uh, what do you want me to do?

Eh, come on! You gotta be kidding, Charlie.

Just open it up.

Huh? Sure thing.

Hey, Michael, cut that screwin' around.

What do you think this is? Some whorehouse?

Got no time for games here. This is a $2 million-a-year business.

I don't take any roughhousing with the models. They're just models.

Shirley, go on back and get another set.

Okay, okay. Come on, back to work. Break it up, girls.

Got a photographer coming up here in ten minutes.

All right now, Michael, let's figure out...

Michael? Michael!

Aw, fuck these kids. They're all the same.

Go out and look around today.

I'm gonna show him that roadside and where we're gonna lay out...

I don't care what you show him. Let him get his bearings.

We'll find out soon enough if he knows his business.

Well, don't bite my arm off. What's the matter with you?

What the... hey! Hey!

How many times have I told you to let down those curtains?

Why? They've all gone off to work.

You heard me. Let 'em down.

What's the matter? Afraid I'll shock the duchess?

Don't you suppose she's ever seen a French postcard?

You'll let those curtains down, or this is the last bath you'll ever...

Get out of there.

Say, what's the idea?

What? Getting in that barrel.

Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm going over niagara falls.


Hey, you're supposed to rinse off with that gourd.

Listen. You know we drink that water?

Yeah, well, you won't this. Unless you're stubborn and insist on it.

Come on, get out. Oh, no, don't, Danny! I mean it, now! Stop!

One more occurrence, and you'll live in that shack across the river.

I will not. And if you think I give a...

Come here, ya lug.

Take that back!

And let me tell you this. I'm not a one-woman man.

I never have been, and I never will be.

If you wanna take your turn...

♪ Are you going to scarborough fair ♪

♪ parsley, sage Rosemary and thyme ♪

♪ remember me to the one who lives there ♪

♪ he once was a true love of mine ♪

Moe? Hey, man, do I look like a nigger to you?

I mean... I mean, like, take a good, clean look.

A good, clean look would be refreshing, Ollie.

Oh, that's funny.

That's really funny, Michael. Hey, uh...

Come on, man. I got some action on the other side.

Yeah, well, I got a lot of things to do, Ollie.

Oh, no, you don't understand, man. What do you mean?

Come on. Come on. Come on. Keep your hands off me.

Whoo-eee! Hey, Ollie!

What's goin' on here? Man, we're wastin' time.

Oh, hey, Michael! How's ya been, baby?

Michael don't want to join us. Did you hear that, bones?

Michael don't wanna join us.

Aw, I don't believe it.

Mmm, man. You think it's true what everyone's been sayin'?

Say hello to roslyn, Mike.

Hiya, Mike. I've heard a lot about you.

She's good, Mike. She's good.

Everyone says you're a virgin, Michael.

Wait a minute! Don't even believe that!

You know everybody talks. They think they know everything.

Big man. Well, nobody knows nothin'.

I mean, do I look like a virgin to you?

Well... What do you think?

What do you think of my tits, Michael?

They're round. I mean, you know, uh...

Y-you're gonna catch cold.

Come on, Michael. Come on.

How do you like it, Michael?

All you have to do is want it.

Yeah, well, uh, anyway that pleases you the most, baby.

I'm just one more piece of ass to you. Oh, yeah.

You guys just better take it easy, I'm tellin' you that, or we're gonna have a lot of trouble up here.

She had it comin'.

♪ Shake it up, baby, now♪ ♪ shake it up, baby ♪

♪ twist and shout♪ ♪ twist and shout ♪

♪ come on, baby, now♪ ♪ come on, baby ♪

♪ come on and work it on out♪ ♪ come on and work it on out ♪

♪ let's work it on out, honey? ? ♪ let's work it on out ♪

♪ yeah, you look so good♪ ♪ you know you look so fine ♪

♪ you know you got me goin'♪ ♪ you know you got me goin' ♪

♪ just like I knew you would♪ ♪ like I knew you would ♪

♪ shake it up, baby, now♪ ♪ shake it up, baby ♪

♪ twist and shout♪ ♪ you know you twist and shout ♪

♪ come on, come on come on, baby, now♪ ♪ come on, baby ♪

♪ come on and work it on out♪ ♪ come on and work it on out ♪

♪ well, you're just a little girl♪ ♪ just a little girl ♪

♪ you know you twist so fine♪ ♪ you know you twist so fine ♪

♪ come on and twist a little closer ♪

♪ come on and twist a little closer ♪

♪ come on and show me that you're mine ♪

♪ come on and show me you're mine ♪ Oh, yeah!

♪ Aaaah, aaaah ♪

A guy ain't nothin' like that. Yeah.

Hey, I keep my thing private, babes.

Yeah, that's right. You got it too, Carole, baby.

You got it. Ah, snowflake.

Hi, Carole. How's everything going?

Fine, baby. Oh, that Carole's so beautiful. I wish I had the body she has.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Oooh! Well, hi there.

Wanna buy a girl a drink?

Same to you, fella.

Shorty, sure hope we don't have any trouble tonight.

Carole don't feel like any hassle.

Oh, no hassle for me, Carole. Shorty can h-handle everything.

I know, honey. But hassles aren't the fun they used to be.

It's that crazy Jew kid up there again.

That's worth one.

Shit, that's worth two.

You been doin' that number awfully long, Carole.

If Mario catches you givin' away free booze, it's gonna be bad for you.

You know how cheap Mario is.

I can handle it, shorty.

I just don't want nothin' to happen to you, c-Carole.

You know how I feel.

I can handle it, shorty!

I'll be back.

Hi, snowflake. Who's your friend?

Oh, Bongo? I met him earlier. Ain't he cute?

You're a savage, Bongo. You really are.

And does Mr. Bongo know who you are?

He knows a pretty girl when he sees one.

Ah, shit.

Oh, Bongo, you've got such nice arms. They're so strong.

Come and dance with me. Will you, please?

Oh, Jesus Christ. You're a very good dancer.

You know that, Bongo? Anybody tell you you were such a good dancer?


You look nice, baby. Fred Astaire, eat your eyes out.

Let's go. Oh, that's good.

Listen, Bongo. A little closer, will you, please?

You're backing off. Now, we gotta dance close.

Oh, thank you. That's very nice.

On the neck. I really like the neck.

Bongo, stop that. Son of a bitch! This broad's got a hard-on!

Queer! A lousy, no-good queer!

Oh, fantastic! Oh, fantastic! A queer!

I'll kill ya, cocksucker!

Fuckin' fag! Who'd you expect? Your mother?

Oh, how bizarre. Oh, listen, Bongo.


Oh, this is absolutely "subleem" and sublime!

Oh, my God! Oh, do it again. Oh, do it again..

Oh, do it again!

Aaaaagh! Oh, beautiful!

Oh, Jesus Christ, Bongo. You really know how to dance.

You know, babe? You really know how to dance.

Can I see you next week?

Fool around with me. Filthy little queer.

Oh, Jesus. He was such a nice guy. Why'd they throw him out?

Snowflake, now you oughta know better than to pick up such rough trade.

Especially when they've been drinkin'.

I just want someone to love, Carole.

All right, what's goin' on, Carole?

No problem, Mario. If there was, with shorty out there, it ain't no more.

It's your job to spot this sort of crap early.

I don't want my steady customers hurt by transient trade. Understand?

It's tough enough having a black girl run my bar, but when you start actin' like an uptown nigger...

Look at me when I'm talkin' to you!

You can stick it, Mario!

What took you so long, superman?

Carole! Carole?

Where ya goin'? I been from Boston to Bombay. It's not where I'm goin', honey.

It's where I've been that I'm thinkin' about.

WH-what do you mean?

I'm splittin', shorty. I-I've had it.

Where you gonna go, Carole?

Why don't you stay with me? I don't like ya splittin'.

Why don't you stay with me, and then I can really, really take care of you?

Uh, uh, honey, it would never work out.

Why not, Carole? Ain't I always done everything for ya?

Well... 'Cause I'm stayin' w-with Michael.

We've been secretly tight for a long time.

How long?

Well, uh... L-long enough, shorty.

Uh-uh, that ain't pretty.

Uh, are you serious about stayin' with me?

'Cause, I mean, it's really okay with me.

I mean, if I could... I could sleep on the floor, and you could, I mean...

Listen here, white boy. Don't hand me that honky shit.

Stay with you. You ain't got nothin' goin' for you.

Damn, man! First you help me get my ass kicked out of a good gig, then, cause you think I need you for a few goddamn minutes, you try to jive-ass me for a quick lay?

Listen here, boy. As long as Carole got this here good thing...

And this here left...

She don't need anything else unless she wants it.

And, child, I don't want it.

You know, I'm really not too big with the girls.

I mean, it's uh... it's obvious, Mick Jagger I'm not.

I wonder if anyone notices that.

Shit. Damn, man.

Carole! Carole!

Surprise, sugar. You're on.

What you gonna do about it? I mean, you're on for a few days till I hook it up.

Uh, yeah, sure, of course. Right on.

Right on? Sugar, don't you mean...

Right off?

Well, ain't this some shit?

Why'd ya ask us down here this morning, Angie?

Well, Molly, I was thinkin' about last night.

I was gonna show you that...

I want you to see me handle these goddamn strikers.

How wonderful!

Why'd ya have me bring rosa?

I got a job for her after.

With Michael? Yeah. The kid's gotta learn.

I like-a to teach the young boys.

Angelo Colioni? Yeah.

Let's go. The boss is waitin'.

Is that the godfather?

Yeah. He wants to watch personally.

You see, the olive oil when those strikers ain't movin', comes from the godfather's own factory.

Jesus Christ!

What's that?

That's my ace in the hole. Blacks. They work for me. Like dogs they work.

Those bastards don't want to load the father's oil, I'm gonna bring in my blacks to move it.

Blacks, man. Blacks.

Pretty sharp, huh?

Everyone goes back to work today.

Right? This is Angelo Colioni talkin'.

We don't recognize unions on this dock.

All we recognize is men who wanna work.

There's the boxes to load. There's the pavement.

There's the ship. There's no union here.

We don't need no commies and Jews here.

So let's go, huh? What do you say, men?

Fuck you!

Try me.

What happened? Why'd the godfather leave?

The godfather's very strict about this.

He don't want no niggers touching his olive oil.

You should've known that.

Well, here comes phase two, Angelo Colioni.

Hey, rosa, you're sicilian, right?

I'm a-ready, Angelo. Any time you say.

Such a nice bed in here, and where does he sleep?

Just like an arab. On the floor.

Oh, Angelo, how can I, when he's dead?

Who's dead? Who's dead? Who? Who? Who, who?

Ohhh, no you're not gonna do it, Angelo Colioni.

Not with my son! Maybe with your son, but not with my son.

I ain't got any other son. That's just too goddamn bad.

Okay, Ida. Come on. This is it.

I've had enough of your Jewish mama crap.

Okay, Angie. Okay.

Oh, Michael, hello.

I like-a the younger boys. I like-a to teach younger boys.

Get away from me!

Get her out of here!

Shirley, hurry up! He's kicking the shit out of her!

Okay. Okay.

You win, Angie. He's your goddamn son.

I won? Thirty years later, I won?

Fuckin' a!

Leave me alone, will ya? What's goin' on here? What the hell?

Pop, what the hell's going on here?

Your father brought you a present.

Well, go ahead and screw her! You're gonna like it.

What the hell is all this racket about?

What did your Jewish princess mother do? Hire a cleaning lady?

It's my girlfriend, Pop.

Get that nigger out of my house!

Keep your hands off of my son!

♪ Maybelline, why can't you be true ♪

♪ Maybelline, why can't you be true ♪

♪ done started back doin' all the things ♪

♪ you used to do ♪

♪ as I was motivatin' over the hill ♪

♪ I seen Maybelline ♪

♪ I seen Maybelline in a coupe deville ♪

♪ oh-ho, oh-ho ♪

♪ I seen Maybelline in a coupe deville ♪

? How about that? ♪ Cadillac ran on the open road?

? ♪ can't run away from my super 8 Ford?

♪ Oh-ho, 95 ♪

♪ bumper to bumper goin' side by side ♪

♪ Maybelline ♪

♪ Maybelline ♪

♪ Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ oh, Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ you done started doin' the things you used to do ♪

♪ as I was motivatin' over the hill ♪

♪ I saw Maybelline in a coupe deville ♪

♪ Cadillac rollin' on the open road ♪

♪ nothin' outrun my v-8 Ford ♪

♪ Cadillac doin' about 95 ♪

♪ it was bumper to bumper goin' side by side ♪

♪ Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ oh, Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ you done started back doin' the things you used to do ♪

♪ as the Cadillac pulled up to 104 ♪

♪ my Ford got hot and wouldn't do no more ♪

♪ done got cloudy and started to rain ♪

♪ I tooted my horn for the passing lane ♪

♪ rain water flowin' all under my hood ♪

♪ I knew that it was doin' my motor good ♪

♪ Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ oh, Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ you done started back doin' the things you used to do ♪

♪ oh, Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ oh, Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ you done started back doin' the things you used to do ♪

♪ the motor cooled down the heat went down ♪

♪ that's when I heard that highway sound ♪

♪ Cadillac sittin' like a toad in a lake ♪

♪ a hundred and ten a half a mile ahead ♪

♪ Cadillac lookin' like it was standin' still ♪

♪ and I caught Maybelline at the top of the hill ♪

♪ Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ oh, Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ you done started back doin' the things you used to do♪ ♪

♪ Maybelline why don't you be true ♪

♪ Maybelline why can't you be true ♪

♪ started back doin' the things you used to do♪ listen, Michael.

Uh, first thing in the morning, we will take them big-ass drawings of yours...

Up to one of them big cartoon syndicates.

You can sell 'em. We'll get some bread, get our clothes out of Angie's house and split for San Francisco.

And shorty can't roll that far.

I'm gonna tell you, Carole, I don't wanna sell my cartoons to one of them places.

They, uh... they ain't gonna buy that crap anyway.

I'm an underground cartoonist. That's... that's where I belong.

So why don't you sell your stuff to your underground friends?

They don't wanna buy any. Now, why that, Mr. underground?

'Cause, well, uh, I still Jack off.

You are cool!

Mr. quigley, there's a young cartoonist out here to see you.

Hello, young man. It's good to see you.

Nervous, aren't you? Well, don't you be.

I've been around this business for years. I've seen them all...

All the greats, all the originals...

And one thing they do is they stand there nervous.

But don't worry about a thing.

I can spot originality a mile away.

Two Miles away. Three Miles away!

They've made millions.

Strips, books, toys, animation.

Mi-millions! Millions! Show me. Show me.

What did you bring me, boy? Did you bring a family strip?

Well, uh, no, not a family strip.

No, not a family strip. A kids' strip? Well, no.

Oh! An action-packed adventure strip?

Uh, not really, sir. It's, uh... It's a religious script.

Religion! Good! That's great!

My God, religion!

Jesus has always been in good style.

That will sell. That will sell. Come on, tell me about it.

Oh, shit. Maybe... Maybe there's a few bucks here.

The wars never began.

The tremendous Russian-American atomic bang-out that was to be never came.

But what came was far worse.

Another million years passed, and everything was under garbage.

The only thing that didn't change was that guys were still horny as hell.

They'd just hump anything in sight.

Occasionally, they'd make a mistake.

Oh, this mistake turned out real bad...

'Cause that pile of humped garbage came alive.

And that one big screw, well, it became known as mother pile.

And the people needed something to look up to, so they started worshiping.


When someone got pissed off and pinched garbage...

Or accidentally bumped into garbage, they were beaten and shot.

And man looked doomed.

All except for Wanda the last.

The last of the perfect women from the past...

Who, with her manager duck Warren, toured the land...

Showin' off her feminine beauty.

Now, one night, Warren was awakened by a strange light coming into a window.

Hey, this is the voice of God, Warren.

What's up? I'll come right to the point, Warren.

You've gotta let me screw Wanda.

Hey, God, how was she? Not bad.

Finally, one night, the baby was born...

And three wise men appeared instantly.

It was a boy, and the new messiah was born.

And the garbage priests tried to find out where the new messiah was.

Man was crucified, but still did not tell.

Oh, it hurts. And high on a Mountain, God taught his son, once a week, the truth.

He's been in there three months already, meditating.

Then from out of the cave came a distant sound.

I got the truth, Pop! Go down to mother pile, lad.

You see, Pop, the truth is, you been conning us all along.

Carole's gotta think of something big, or we gonna be second-string for a long time.

Hey, hey, hey!

If it ain't Carole, the head motherfucker!

How is it, miss Carole?

I heard you been bounced and bounced around.

And took up with a white man. You mean a whiteboy.

Ain't it obvious?

Hello, seaweed. Been enjoying yourself?

I just came down from baltim... I came to see the city.

Just come and tell me what's your specialty.

I got a wife and ten kids. How old's your boys?

I never thought of that.

That girl's just like a savings bank, planning for the future.

Why not come down and join us, honey?

The bread's good, and you can get to keep all the white boys you want.

If miss Carole comes down, you ladies gonna starve for lack of work.

But seein' as how I'm basically good-natured, I'll forget that.

Now I was wonderin' if you ladies... That's correct.

That's us. Especially me, honey.

Would know of any action other than your own that Carole could get her ass into.

Well, there's taxi cabs. Baby-sittin'.

There's housewifin'. That's good. Housewifin'.

That's the one!

Shit. Okay, children. You win.

But when Carole's back up, don't come around skinnin' and grinnin'.

Well, there is this taxi-dance job.

OVER ON Broadway... AND 46th STREET.

If you leave right now, baby, I know you can make it.

Thanks, ladies. Ha. Stay extra loose.

Excuse me, but do you have a wife?

Well then, child, you really in need of my services.

Where are you goin', Michael Colioni?

I figured I'd walk to California.

Yeah, but we got a few things left to do first.

You know, Carole, we're Gettin' nowhere fast.

Thank you. My family...

Shall always be... In your service.

It's all right.

Grazie. Thank you, godfather.

Godfather, I wish... Basta, basta. Aspet.

Angelo Colioni pays his respects, godfather.

Godfather, I bring you my good wishes.


Got bad cough-a.

My family extends their good wishes, and I...

I, I wish to discuss something very, very important.

Uh, you know I've always been faithful...

And respectful to you.

You know, of your good wishes.

And in turn, I have felt your respect for me...

In jobs well done...

By me and for your family, huh?

Godfather, do you hear me?

I now have a problem that I need your help in.


Yeah, I need your help this time!

I want to put out a contract on my son's life...

Because he is living in disrespect with a colored girl!


That is personal, not business.

That is personal.

Idiota! Imbecille!

Good evening, godfather.

I thought you should know. I just saw those niggers load your olive oil.

You know, Angie's men.

I work myself to the bone. I want my life...

Well, hi there, Angie.

You sure look like you need a friend tonight.

Ooh, everybody needs a friend. Jesus!

Now, listen, you savages. Now, just stay in the truck. I saw him first.

Now, will you just wait a second? Oh, Angie.

Like I was saying, you sure look like you need a friend.

You wanna tell Roberta all about it, big boy?

Look, black people just ain't into the nostalgia bag.

Those old freaks out there... Their blonde hair, Coca-Cola signs...

Betty grable and crap like that.

Listen, creep!

All those broads out there, who they got hustlin' for them?

No one, right? Well, shit, man.

Carole's got Michael.

You mean a pimp?

If hustlin' dancin' is pimpin', Michael's my main man.

Yeah, I'm her main man. Trouble is, I got to get it together, but I'll get it together real quick.

Okay, broad. It's your feet.

Youse get $1.25 a dance... Half yours and half mine.

The outfit's over there. Thanks, pygmy. Where do we change?

Right here. I thought all the creeps were inside.

What you doin', Michael? I'm Gettin' with it. Can't you tell?

A really zooty, funky razzmatazz.

Well, how's about razzmatazzin' up $1.25 dance for us?

All righty. All righty.

I'd like you to meet and dance with the fourth Andrews sister.

The fourth? Yeah, because she was black, they kept her in the back.

Anyhow, here's Carole, sister the fourth.

That's one.

♪ Scarborough fair ♪

♪ parsley sage Rosemary and♪ Mom?

Excuse me. Mom? ♪ thyme, remember me ♪ Mom? Oh, hello, Michael, darling.

How are you, sweetie? What are you doing in this joint?

I'm just relaxing and having a good time like everybody else is.

Come on. Have a little vino. Look, Mom.

I'll do a quick dance with you. From your mother.

I gotta go to work. You gotta leave. You gonna go to work?

You didn't say anything about the way I looked.

You look beautiful. Your father always loved me in this dress.

It's nice and shiny. There's a lot of things hangin' out.

You kids ain't the only ones with things hanging out. Let's go, ma.

Oh, my God. I haven't seen these pictures in so long.

Oh, how terrific. Look at that.

There's cousin Harry and Larry.

And rosella.

We never were so sure about her.

Oh, and she married the ice man, yeah.

And mama always said nothing would ever happen with her...

With her pimples and her bad nose and eyes.

Ah, and there's mama.

Oh, how gorgeous she was.

And who is this beauty?

Oh, my God. It's me.

Rooty-kazooty, shit!

That old-timer couldn't handle it. We just got fired!

What do you mean, he can't handle it?

He didn't faint, Michael. He died.

You danced with a dead man?

Ah, bullshit!

What's the problem?

Ah, shit, man. I got no time for this bullshit.

That's all it is. It's all a bunch of bullshit.

Listen, mother. We just got to get it together. A couple of jams ain't nothing.

This world ain't gonna drop its drawers easy for you...

Just like you think I'm gonna do for you.

And I've been playing easy games, bringing you along slow.

But seeing as how you don't know a friend when you sees one, let's see the kind of balls you got for a real man's game.

Okay, creep? You're on, nigger.

Hey, excuse me, ladies.

Anyone seen Angelo Colioni around?

He's resting in here, shorty. You wanna rest too?

I've got b-business with Angelo, only.

I understand your problem, Angie, and I wish to help you.

You'll take the contract? I understand you, Angie.

Have you b-brought the g-gun? It's at home.

Get dressed and let's get it.

Hey, what the hell's going on here?

You've been fucking around with your clothes for eight minutes.

Shit, man, I ain't got all night.

And seeing as how you get paid by the hour, broad, I want my money to go a long way.

I ain't stallin', honey. I got a psychological problem with you.

Yeah, you're psychological, all right.

Well, the truth of it is, you remind me of an old boyfriend...

I had a bad experience with.

Uh, his name is Michael. Michael!

Hey, what's going... Hit him! Hit him hard!

Hit him! Kill him!

Bitch! Hit him again!

You did it, honey. Let's go.

How do you like my balls now?

You're ready.

Goddamn broad did it.

We won.

Look. I want you to take good care of it.

I picked it up in Berlin, took it off an mp.

I w-won't be back...

Till it's finished.

Well, uh, look, Molly.

No you don't, you degenerate cripple!

You got no legs! You wanna try for no arms?


Goddamn, lost again!

Get set, draw!

You miserable fool.

You're not as fast as you thought you were.


Now that you've had a little practice, let's start another round.

♪ Are you going to scarborough fair ♪

♪ parsley, sage Rosemary and thyme ♪

♪ remember me to the one who lives there ♪

♪ he once was a true love of mine ♪

Who the fuck you think you are?

♪ Are you going to scarborough fair ♪

♪ parsley, sage Rosemary and thyme ♪

♪ remember me to the one who lives there ♪

Fuck! You'll get yours!

Hi, Carole.

What the hell you starin' at, pygmy?

Ain't you ever seen a lady before?


Oh, come on. Come on. You're messing me up!

Come on, Angie. You're so big and strong and handsome.

Hey, come on!



84th AND Columbus.

Oh, shit. Sorry. Wrong chick.

What do you mean, wrong chick? Come on.

Okay. Let's go. ♪ Parsley, sage, Rosemary ♪

♪ and thyme ♪

♪ Remember me to the one who lives there ♪

♪ He once was a true love of mine ♪ Hi, Carole.

♪ Are you going to scarborough fair ♪

♪ Parsley, sage Rosemary and thyme ♪

♪ Remember me to the one who lives there ♪

♪ He once was a true love of mine ♪

♪ Are you going to scarborough fair ♪

♪ Parsley, sage Rosemary and thyme ♪

♪ Remember me to the one who lives there ♪

♪ He once was a true love of mine ♪

♪ Scarborough fair ♪

♪ Scarborough fair ♪

♪ Scarborough fair ♪

♪ Scarborough fair♪ ♪