His Girl Friday (1940) Script

Copy boy!

Make it snappy. Where's the rest of this story?

Morning Post.

City desk? Just a moment and I'll connect you.

If anybody asks for me, I'm down at the courthouse.

Elevator! Going down.

Hello, Hildy. Hi, Skinny.

Hello, Ruth, Maisie.

Is the lord of the universe in? Yes, in a bad humor.

Somebody must've stolen the crown jewel.

Shall we announce you? I'll blow my own horn.

Bruce, wait here. I'll be back in ten minutes.

Even ten minutes is a long time to be away from you.

What did you say?

Go on.

Well, go ahead.

I just said, "Even ten minutes is a long time to be away from you".

I heard you. I like it. That's why I asked you to say it again.

I like being spoiled.

The man I'm going in to see did little spoiling.

I'd like to spoil him. Want me to go with you?

I can handle it. Lf it gets rough, I'm here.

I'll come running, partner.

Hello, Jim. Hello, Hildy!

How are you? Welcome back.

Hello, Hildy, how have you been?

Beatrice, how's "Advice to the Lovelorn"?

Fine. My cat had kittens again. Your own fault.

Glad to see you. Hi, Jim.

Mildred, you still around?

A little more around the chin, boss.

What do you want?

Your ex-wife is here.

Hello, Hildy.

Hello, Walter.

Hello, Louie. How's the big slot machine king?

I ain't doing that no more. I'm retired. You know what I mean?

Walter. I'm busy!

The governor didn't sign that reprieve.

Tomorrow, Earl Williams dies and makes a sucker out of us.

What are you going to do?

Phone the governor. I can't.

Why not? He's out fishing.

How many places are there? At least two, Atlantic and Pacific.

That simplifies it, doesn't it?

Get him on the phone. And say what?

Quiet, Duffy. He's thinking.

Tell him if he reprieves Earl Williams, we'll support him for senator.

Tell him the Morning Post will be behind him.

You can't do that. Why not?

We've been a Democratic paper for over 20 years.

After we get the reprieve, we'll be Democratic again.

Go on, Duffy, get going.

The Morning Post expects every editor to do his duty.

You too, Louie. Get out of here.

Well, Walter, I see you're still at it.

First time I double-crossed a governor. What can I do for you?

Would you mind if I sat down?

There's a lamp burning in the window for you. Here.

I jumped out of that window a long time ago, Walter.

May I have one of those?

Thank you.

And a match?

Thank you.

How long is it? How long is what?

You know what.

How long is it since we've seen each other?

Well, let's see.

I spent six weeks in Reno, then Bermuda. About four months.

Seems like yesterday to me.

Maybe it was yesterday, Hildy. Been seeing me in your dreams?

Mama doesn't dream about you. You wouldn't know her now.

Yes, I would. I'd know you anytime.

Any place, anywhere.

You're repeating yourself. You said that the night you proposed.

You still remember it.

If I didn't remember it, I wouldn't have divorced you.

I sort of wish you hadn't.

What? Divorced me.

It makes a fellow lose faith in himself. It gives him...

...a feeling he wasn't wanted.

Junior, that's what divorces are for.

Nonsense, you've got an old-fashioned idea divorces last forever.

"Till death do us part". Divorce doesn't mean anything nowadays.

Just a few words mumbled over you by a judge.

We've got something between us nothing can change.

I suppose you're right in a way. Sure, I'm right.

I am fond of you, you know. Thattagirl!

I often wish you weren't such a stinker.

You must meet my mother. She'd like that phrase.

Then why'd you promise not to fight the divorce and then gum up the works?

I meant to let you go, but you know...

...you never miss the water till the well runs dry.

A big lummox like you, hiring an airplane to write:

"Hildy, don't be hasty. Remember my dimple. Walter".

It delayed our divorce while the judge watched it.

Not to brag, but I've still got the dimple, and in the same place.

I acted like any husband who didn't want to see his home broken up.

What home? Remember the home I promised you?

Sure I do. The one we were to have right after the honeymoon.

That honeymoon!

Was it my fault? Did I know that coal mine would have a cave-in?

I intended to be with you on our honeymoon.

Instead of two weeks in Atlantic City with my bridegroom...

...I spent two weeks in a coal mine with John Kruptzky.

You don't deny it?

No. We beat the whole country on that story!

Suppose we did! That isn't what I got married for!

What is the good? Look, Walter.

I came to tell you to stop phoning me a dozen times a day...

...sending me 20 telegrams...

I write a beautiful telegram, don't I?

Are you going to listen?

What's the use of fighting? I'll tell you what you do.

Come back to work on the paper, and if we can't get along...

...we'll get married again.

What? Sure, I haven't any hard feelings.

Walter, you're wonderful in a loathsome sort of way.

Be quiet so I can say what I have to. Tell me over lunch.

I have a lunch date.

Break it. I can't.

Hands off! Are you playing osteopath?

Temper, temper.

You are no longer my husband and no longer my boss.

And you won't be my boss.

What does that mean? Just what I say.

You're not coming back to work?

You're right for the first time today.

Got a better offer? You bet!

Work for somebody else! That's the gratitude I get.

Stop hamming.

Five years ago, you were a college girl. I took a doll-faced hick!

You wouldn't have if I wasn't doll-faced.

It was a novelty to have a face to look at without shuddering.

I made you a great reporter. You won't be as good on any other paper.

We're a team. The paper needs both of us!

Sold American!

All right, go ahead. Listen, Walter, please.

The paper's going to have to get along without me. So will you.

It didn't work out.

It would have worked if you'd been satisfied as editor and reporter.

You had to marry me and spoil everything.

I wasn't satisfied? I suppose I proposed to you!

Practically! Making eyes at me until I broke down.

"Oh, Walter!" I was tight when I proposed to you.

If you'd been a gentleman, you'd have forgotten about it.

You used to pitch better than that.

Hello. What?

Sweeney? What can I do for you?

What? Wait a minute. I'm not Sweeney. I'm Duffy.

Sweeney, you can't do that to me. Not today, of all days!

What's the matter with you? Are you a loony?

Now, listen, Sweeney. This is no time...

All right, I suppose so. If you have to, you have to.

He had to. Everything happens to me.

365 days in a year, and this has to be the day.

What's wrong?

Sweeney. Dead?

He might as well be. He picks today to have a baby!

Not on purpose?

He's supposed to cover the Earl Williams case, and where is he?

Walking up and down in a hospital. Is there no honor?

Haven't you got anybody else?

Nobody else on the paper can write.

This'll break me.



You've got to help me. Not a chance, Walter.

Get out of here, Duffy!

Save your breath.

This'll bring us back together again.

That's what I'm afraid of.

This is bigger than anything else.

Do it for the paper.

Scram, Svengali.

If you won't do it for love, how about money?

I'll raise you $25 a week.

Listen to me, you baboon...

I'll make it $35 and not a cent more.


How much will the other paper pay?

There's no other paper.

Then the raise is off. You go back to your old salary.

Trying to blackjack me.

I'm busy. Take a good look at it.

Do you know what it is? It's an engagement ring.

Engagement ring?

I tried to tell you right away...

...but you would start reminiscing.

I'm getting married, and I'm getting as far away...

...from the newspaper business as I can get.

I'm through.

You can get married, but not quit. No? Why not?

I know what quitting would mean.

What? It would kill you.

You can't sell me that. You're a newspaperman.

I want to go someplace where I can be a woman.

You mean, be a traitor. A traitor to what?

To journalism. You're a journalist!

A journalist? What does that mean?

Peeking through keyholes, chasing fire engines...

...waking people up in the night to ask questions...

...stealing pictures off old ladies? I know all about reporters.

Buttinskies running around with no money, and for what?

So a million people will know what's going on. Why, I...

What's the use?

Walter, you wouldn't know what it means...

...to want to be respectable and live a halfway normal life.

The point is, I'm through.

Where did you meet this man?



He's not what you'd call rich. He makes about $5000 a year.

What's his line? He's in the insurance business.

Insurance business?

That's a good honest business.

Sure, it's honest. It's also adventurous, romantic.

I can't picture you being surrounded by policies...

I can, and I like it, what's more.

Besides, he forgets the office when he's with me.

He doesn't treat me like an errand boy.

He treats me like a woman.

He does? How did I treat you? Like a water buffalo?

I don't know from buffaloes, but I do know about him.

He's kind, he's sweet, and he's considerate.

He wants a home and children.

Sounds like a guy I ought to marry. What's his name?

Baldwin. Bruce Baldwin.

I knew a Baldwin once, a horse thief.

Couldn't be the same fellow, could it?

You are not talking about the man I'm marrying tomorrow.

Tomorrow? As soon as that?

At last, I got out what I came up here to tell you.

Guess there isn't any more to the story.

So long, Walter.

So long, Hildy.

Better luck to you next time.


Well, you kind of took the wind out of my sail.

I just want to wish you everything I couldn't give you.

This other fellow. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to see him.

I'm particular about whom my wife marries.

Where is he?

He's right on the job, waiting for me out there.

Do you mind if I meet him?

It wouldn't do any good. You're not afraid, are you?

Of course not.

Let's see this paragon. Is he as good as you say?

He's better.

Then what does he want with you? You got me.

Back in an hour, Mildred.

I am sorry, Hildy. I suppose Bruce... What's his name?

I suppose he opens doors for you?

And with a lady, he takes his hat off.

I am sorry.

When he walks with a lady, he waits for her.

In that case...

Allow me.

I can see my wife picked out the right husband for herself.

There must be some mistake. I'm already married.

Already married?

You should have told me.

Congratulations again, Mr. Baldwin.

No, my name... Mr. Burns.

I'm terribly busy. What did you say, Mr. Baldwin?

Mr. Burns. My name is...

I'm busy with Mr. Baldwin. I didn't hear what you said, sir.

My name is... Mr. Burns...

What is it with you? I'm Bruce Baldwin.

Can't you see that I'm... You're Bruce Baldwin!

Well, who is he? Who are you?

My name's Pete Davis.

Mr. Davis, is this any concern of yours?

From now on, keep your nose out of my affairs.

Don't let it happen again.

I'm terribly sorry about this mistake. This is indeed a pleasure.

That's wrong, isn't it? Bruce... do you mind if I call you Bruce?

We're almost related. No, not at all.

You see, my wife... That is, your wife.

Hildy, you led me to expect you were marrying a much older man.

What did I say?

Don't worry about it. I realize you didn't mean old in years.

Do you always carry an umbrella? It looked cloudy this morning.

That's right. Rubbers too, I hope.

Thattaboy! A man ought to be prepared.

We'd better run along.

We'd better go. Where are we going?

I'm taking you two to lunch. Didn't you tell him?

No, she didn't.

I guess she just wanted to surprise you, Bruce.

After you, Hildy.

You're wasting your time.

No, I'm glad to do it.

Hello, Gus.

It's Hildy!

It's none other. How are things?

I can't complain.

I can. I'm hungry. A roast beef sandwich...

Sorry. ...on white bread.

Over there, Bruce.

And you, Hildy? I'll have the same.

And you, sir? Yes, that's all right for me.

Bring some mustard too, Gus.

So you two are going to get married?

How does it feel, Bruce? It feels awful good.

You're getting a great girl.

I realize that.

Things have been different since I met Hildy.

I've never met anyone quite like her.

Everybody else I've ever known...

...you could always tell ahead of time what they would say or do.

But Hildy's not like that. You can't tell that about her.

That's nice.

You're getting something else too: A great newspaperman.

No orchids, Walter.

One of the best I ever knew. Sorry to see her go. Darn sorry.

I'd like to believe you.

I mean it. If you ever want to come back...

Which I won't.

In spite of everything, there's only one man I'd work for.

I'd kill you if you worked for anybody else.

Hear that? That's my diploma.

It must be quite a business if it's...

Are you sure you want to quit?

What do you mean?

If there is any doubt about it...

...or if there's anything...

No, this is your chance to have a home...

...and to be, like you said, a human being.

I'll make you take that chance.

Certainly. Why, I wouldn't let her stay.

She deserves all this happiness. All the things I couldn't give her.

All she ever wanted was a home.

I'll certainly try.

I know you will, Bruce.

Where will you live? Albany.

Got a family up there? Just my mother.

Just your mother. You're going to live with her?

Just for the first year.

That will be nice.

Yes, a home with mother, in Albany too.

Mighty nice little town. It's the state capital.

I know. We were there once.

Will you ever forget the night you brought the governor to the hotel?

You see, I was in taking a bath.

Well, I came walking out without...

She didn't know I was in town.

Bruce, how is business up there? Any better?

Albany's a mighty good insurance town.

Most people take it out pretty early in life.

I can see why they would.

Statistics show that most of...

I've got a feeling I ought to have taken out a little insurance.

That really doesn't matter now that Hildy and I have...

...well, you know, we've... Does it?

What do you think?

It might have been a good idea if I had taken out insurance.

I honestly feel that way.

I'm in one business that really helps people.

Of course, we don't help you much while you're alive, but afterward.

That's what counts. Sure.

I don't get it.

Nice going.

So sorry, Gus. My foot must have slipped.

That's all right. What would you like to drink?


Shall I put some rum in the coffee? Sure.

Me too, Gus, please.

Not for me. Go on, Bruce.

I have a lot to do. I have to buy the tickets, check the baggage...

Do it tomorrow.

We're leaving today at four o'clock, taking the sleeper for Albany.

You're leaving today at four o'clock?

That's only two hours. That's not much time.

I've got a lot to do. I want to...

Isn't that silly? All down over my front.

That's nothing new. Here. Never mind, I'll get Gus.

Gus, do something about this, will you?

Call me to the telephone when I get back to the table.

Thanks, Gus, that's fine.

I'm terribly sorry about that. That was silly, wasn't it?

Let me get that straight. I must have misunderstood you.

You're taking the sleeper today, then getting married tomorrow?

Well, it's not like that.

What is it like?

Poor Walter. He'll toss and turn all night.

Perhaps we'd better tell him. Mother's coming too.

Your mother kicked the bucket...

No, my mother.

Your mother? Well, that relieves my mind.

It was cruel to let you suffer so.

Isn't Walter sweet? Always wanting to protect me.

I admit I wasn't much of a husband, but you can always count on me.

I don't think she'll need you much. I aim to do the protecting myself.

Mr. Burns, telephone.

For me?

That's strange.

Pardon me.

He's not such a bad fellow.

No, he should make some girl real happy.


He's not the man for you. I can see that.

But I sort of like him. He's got charm.

He comes by it naturally. His grandfather was a snake.

Hello? Duffy, listen.

Any way we can stop the 4:00 train to Albany from leaving?

- We might dynamite it. Could we?

Maybe we couldn't.

All right, get this.

Send Sweeney out of town on two weeks' vacation right away.

Keep your shirt on. Hildy's coming back.

She doesn't know it yet, but she's staying.

Tell Louie to stick around the office. I may need him. Goodbye.

Thanks, Gus.

This is bad business. What's the matter?

The Earl Williams case.

I've been reading about that.

It's pretty bad.

What is the lowdown on it? Simple, honey.

Poor little dope lost his job, went berserk and shot a cop...

...who was coming to quiet him down. They'll hang him tomorrow.

What a shame.

Your paper has been taking his side.

If he was out of his mind, why doesn't the state just put him away?

Because it was a colored policeman. You know what that means.

The colored vote's important.

Especially with an election in three or four days.

That mayor would hang his grandmother to be reelected.

You could show the man wasn't responsible.

That's not so easy.

Maybe it isn't so hard either.

What do you mean, Hildy?

Doesn't an expert have to examine him before they hang him?

A bird named Egelhoffer is doing it. He'll say the same as the rest.

Suppose he does.

What's your scheme?

Walter, you get the interview with Earl Williams.

Print Egelhoffer's statement.

And right alongside it, double column, run your interview.

Alienist says he's sane. Interview shows he's goofy.

You could save that poor devil's life.

You could...

You're going away. I forgot. How long would the interview take?

An hour for the interview. An hour to write it.

We could take the 6 o'clock train if it'd save a man's life.

No, Bruce. If you want to save Earl Williams' life...

...write it yourself. You're a good reporter.

I can't write that kind of thing. It takes a woman's touch.

Don't get poetic. Get Sweeney.

He's the best man for that sob-sister stuff.

Poor Sweeney. Duffy just told me his wife finally had twins.

Isn't that terrible?

Sweeney went out to celebrate and now we can't find him.

So Sweeney has twins and Williams gets hanged.

Now, Walter, look.

Argue with her, or you'll be on a honeymoon with blood on your hands.

How can you be happy after that?

You'll remember that a man went to the gallows...

...because she was too selfish to wait two hours.

Earl Williams' face will come between you tonight...

...and the rest of your life.

Stop it, Walter. The whole place will hear you.

What an act.

I just remembered Sweeney was only married four months ago.

Hildy, you win. I'm licked.

Then Mrs. Sweeney didn't have twins?

No, indeed. The twins were Walter's, all his.

It was nothing.

Well, come on, let's forget it.

We'll start over again.

I'll offer a business proposition. Not interested.

You'll be interested.

Don't listen to him. I know him from way back.

Excuse me, will you? I'm talking to him. Now, look, Bruce...

...persuade her and you can write an insurance policy for me.

No, Mr. Burns. I wouldn't use my wife for business purposes.

Wait a minute, Bruce.

How big a policy? 25,000.

Fifty thousand.

What's the commission on a $100,000 policy?

Around $1000, but Hildy... And what's wrong with $1000?

I couldn't... We could use that money.

How long would it take to get him examined?

I could get a company doctor here in 20 minutes.

Get him. Get him. You keep out of this.

Suppose you have Mr. Burns examined over in his office...

...and see what they'll allow on that old carcass of his.

I'm better than I ever was. That's nothing to brag about.

I'll go back and change and after you get the check, phone me.

I'll be in the press room at the criminal courts building.

Oh, Walter? I think you better make that a certified check.

Think I'm a crook?

Yes. No certified check, no story. Get me?

It'll be certified. Want my fingerprints?

No, thanks. I've still got those.

Gus, how much do I owe you?

Thank you, dear.

Oh, I'm sorry. How much money have you got?

You know, everything we have, $500.

Give me it. I have to buy the tickets.

I'll buy the tickets. Believe me, he'll get you in a crap game.

Hildy, I don't gamble.

I know people that never did anything till they met Walter Burns.

But remember, it's everything we have.

I know.

You got change of ten? See what I mean, don't you, Bruce?

I just gave everything to Hildy. All I've got left...

Come on, Hildy. Not me. Sign it.

All right.

For the waiter.

Come on, Bruce. Really.

I'll open for a dime.

I'm in.

I'll stay.

Wilcox 3400.

How many? Two.

Take that, one of you birds. You ain't doing anything, Ernie.

What's the matter with you guys? Crippled or something?

I'll just bet 20 cents.

Press room. Wait a minute.

Hello, Sarge, McCue talking. Hold the line, will you? What?

I told you this is the press room of the criminal courts building.

Jake, new lead on the hanging.

This alienist from New York, Dr. Max J. Egelhoffer.

He's interviewing Williams in about half an hour in the sheriff's office.

Must be the tenth alienist they've put on Williams.

If he wasn't crazy, he would be by the time...

...ten of those babies got through psychoanalyzing him.

Is this guy Egelhoffer any good? You figure it out.

He's the guy they sent to Washington to interview the Brain Trust.

He said they were sane.

Here's the situation on the eve of the hanging.

I'll pick up a little fudge. This is Murphy. More slop on the hanging.

A double guard has been thrown around the jail, municipal buildings...

...railroad terminals, and elevated stations...

...to prepare for the expected general uprising...

...of radicals at the hour of execution.

The sheriff has put 200 more relatives on the payroll...

...to protect the city from the Red Army...

...which is leaving Moscow in a couple of minutes.

Trouble is, when the real Red Menace shows up...

...the sheriff will still be crying wolf. What do you got?

Is that good? Sure looks good from here.

Hildy, when did you get back?

How are you, Eddie? Glad to see you.

Glad to see you. Where'd you get the hat?

I paid 12 bucks for that hat. Coming back to work?

It's a farewell appearance. I'm going into business for myself.

What doing? I'm getting married tomorrow.

Again? Are we invited to the wedding?

I might use you for a bridesmaid, Roy.

How are you, Murphy? What are you getting married for?

None of your business. Ain't fooling us, are you?

Fooling? Look what I've got in here.

Three tickets to Albany on the 6:00 train tonight.


For me and my beau and, hats off boys, his sweet darling ma.

That's nice. What kind of marriage is that?

I'm settling down. I'm through with the newspaper business.

Can you picture Hildy singing lullabies and hanging out didies?

Swapping lies over the back fence? Sour grapes.

She'll get tired beating rugs.

I'm not going to beat any rugs.

That's 3rd and Jefferson. Where the Central School is.

No school this time of day. What do you care for? You quit.

You said you were through.

I just thought it might be a good fire, that's all.

What's that? Practicing for the Williams party.

You'll miss a nice hanging. Not interested.

Tell them to pipe down.

Keep quiet down there! How do you expect us to get any work done?

Shut up!

Very little respect for the press around here.

Say, did anybody phone me?

Not that I know of.

Say, Hildy, does Walter know you're getting married?

Just had lunch with him. Does he know you're quitting?

I told him. Any more questions? Shall I deal you in?

I haven't got time. I have to do a yarn on Williams.

Did he know what he was doing when he fired that gun?

If you ask us, no. If you ask the state alienist, the answer is yes.

Who is he? What's he do? He was a bookkeeper.

He starts at $20 a week. After 14 years...

...he works himself up to $17.50. Got more gum?

McClosky Company goes out of business. Williams loses his job.

Can't get another.

I'm in.

So he hangs around the park listening to soapbox spellbinders...

...making speeches, and begins believing them.

And makes some of his own.

Up a dime. I'm in.

Anything else, Doc? No, that'll be all, Mr. Burns.

Everything okay?

Nothing to worry about.

Good, good.

How are you doing, Bruce?

Just one more thing.

Good day, Mr. Burns. Mr. Baldwin. Goodbye, Doc. Thanks very much.

Who's the beneficiary?

Excuse me? That is, in case of your death.

Who do we pay the money to? Why, Hildy, of course.

I don't know. That would make me feel pretty funny.

Now, why shouldn't I make Hildy my whatever-it-was?

I feel I should take care of her.

But you will take care of her, Bruce.

Say, if that doctor is right, I'm good for a long time yet.

Look, Bruce, this is a debt of honor with me.

I was a bad husband to Hildy.

She could have claimed a lot of alimony.

But she wouldn't take any.

She had it coming to her, but she was too independent.

I'm independent too, you know. I know you are.

But look, you just figure it this way.

I'm good for, we'll say at least 25 years yet.

By then, you'll have made enough so that money won't mean anything to you.

But suppose you haven't made good.

What about Hildy's old age? Think of Hildy.

I can see her now.

White-haired, lavender and old lace.

Can't you see her, Bruce? Yes, yes, I can.

She's old, isn't she?

Don't you think that Hildy's entitled to spend her remaining years...

...without worries of money? Of course you do, Bruce.

Of course, if you put it that way.

And remember, I love her too.

Yes, I'm beginning to realize that.

And the beauty of it is...

...she'll never have to know until I've passed on.

Maybe she'll think kindly of me...

...after I'm gone.

You make me feel like a heel, coming between you.

No, no, Bruce. You didn't come between us.

It was all over for her before you came on the scene. For me...

...it'll never be. What do you want?

Can I see you a minute, please?

Excuse me, Bruce.

Did you get it, you get it?

Where is it? Come on.

Certified? Sure. But Walter, that's for $2,500.

Here we are certified and everything.


I'm afraid Hildy'll feel ashamed to think she hasn't trusted you.

But she'll know some day.

You promised to phone her as soon as you got the check.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

Get me Hildy Johnson, press room, criminal courts building.

Sit down, Bruce. The operator will get her for you.

Excuse me, will you?

Yes, I'll wait, thank you.

Start hollering. Hildegarde.

Thank you.

Hildy Johnson speaking.

Take it easy, will you?

Did you get the check? Is it certified?

Certified and everything. I have it right in my pocket.

In your pocket. That's fine.

Wait. Maybe it isn't so fine. Where are you?

Mr. Burns' office.

Is he there?

Look, Bruce. I don't want you to carry that check in your pocket.

Well, because...

Yes, yes, I know all that. But...

There's an old newspaper superstition...

...that the first big check you get, you put in the lining of your hat.

In your hat. It brings good luck.

I've been a reporter for 20 years. I never heard that.

Neither did I. I know it sounds silly, dear, but do it for me.

Yes, yes, right now.

All right. Just a minute.

There, I've done it.

Anything else?

Oh, yes.

All right.

Yes, I'll tell him. Goodbye.

Everything all right?

Hildy said she'll get right to work.

Fine. I must be going now.

You don't want to forget this. It might rain, you know.


You mind if I don't show you out? I'm so busy in here.

Thanks for everything.

What did you say? Thanks for everything.

Nonsense. Don't thank me. I should thank you.

So long. So long.

Hello, Cooley.

What are you doing here?

I want an interview with Earl Williams.

No more interviews. Why not?

Sheriff's orders. Besides, a doctor's coming over. Can't do it.

Say, is this your money?

I don't think it is. Twenty bucks?

I guess it is. That's what I thought.

Come on, I'm in a hurry.

Open up here.

Now, Hildy, don't be... I won't be long.

Hello, Earl. Hello.

My name's Johnson. Mind if I talk to you for a few minutes?

No, I haven't anything else to do.

I guess that's right.

So I couldn't plead insanity. I'm just as sane as anybody else.

You didn't mean to kill that policeman?

Of course not. It's against everything I stand for.

They know it was an accident. I'm not guilty.

It's just the world.

I see what you mean.

Sorry about the lipstick, Earl. Now, look, after you lost your job...

...what did you do? I tried to find another job.

I mean, how did you spend your time?

I used to sit around in the park, anyplace. I don't smoke.

When you were in the park, did you hear any speeches?

You mean those fellows that talk too much?

I didn't pay any attention...

Did you hear anything they said?


Is there anything in particular you remember?

There was one fellow. What did he talk about?

He talked about production for use.

Production for use?

Yes, he said everything should be made use of.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Yes, I liked him. He was a good speaker.

When you found yourself with that gun in your hand...

...and that policeman coming at you, what did you think about?

I don't know exactly.

Could it have been "production for use"?

I don't know. L... What's a gun for, Earl?

A gun?

Why, to shoot, of course.

And maybe that's why you used it.

Maybe. It seems reasonable.

Yes, yes, it is.

I've never had a gun in my hand before.

And that's what a gun's for, isn't it?

Maybe that's why... Sure, it is.

That's what I thought of. "Production for use". It's simple, isn't it?

Very simple. There's nothing crazy about that.

Nothing at all. Write about that in your paper.

You bet I will. Who sent you the roses?

Miss Mollie Malloy. She's wonderful...

Is that her picture?

Yes. She's beautiful, isn't she? Time's up, Hildy.

All right.

Guess that's all.

I liked talking to you. Goodbye, Miss Johnson.

Goodbye, Earl.

Good luck.

Three landladies, boys. Got well, didn't you?

I wonder what the Post will do without Hildy?

You suppose Walter Burns will ever let her go?

Remember when Fenton wanted to go to Hollywood?

Had him thrown in jail for arson. Forgery.

Was that it? Yeah, give me some change.

Hey, Mac.

Hey, Stairway Sam.

Would you mind turning on some lights?

It's so dark, you can't see anything.

Who's this guy Hildy's marrying?

I don't know. Bruce something.

I give the marriage six months. Why?

She won't be able to be away from the paper any longer.

Did you see her when that bell went off?

It must be pretty nice to be able to walk out of a place and quit.

I had a publicity job offered to me last year. I should have taken it.

That's what I'd like, a job on the side.

A desk and a stenographer. I wouldn't mind a nice, big blonde.

With big brown eyes.

I'll bet you ten to one it don't last six months.

She's just like us, or we wouldn't be waiting for that guy to dance.

Miss Mollie Malloy. Hello, Mollie. How's tricks?

I've been looking for you tramps. Come to pay a call on Williams?

Nice roses you sent Earl. What do you want done with them tomorrow?

A lot of wise guys, ain't you?

You're breaking up the game. What do you want?

I came to...

I came to tell you what I think of you. All of you.

Keep your shirt on.

If you was worth breaking my nails on, I'd tear your face open.

What are you sore about? Wasn't that a swell story we gave you?

You crumbs have been making a fool out of me long enough.

I never said I loved Earl, and was willing to marry him on the gallows.

You made that up.

And about my being his soul mate and having a love nest with him.

You've been around that cuckoo since they threw him in the death house.

That's a lie. Everybody knows you're his girlfriend.

I met Mr. Williams just once in my life.

When he was wandering in the rain without his hat and coat on...

...like a sick dog, the day before the shooting.

Give me one.

I went up to him like any human being would...

...and asked him what was the matter.

He told me about being fired after being on the job for 14 years.

Who bets? Bet 20 cents.

I brought him up to my room because it was warm.

Put it on a phonograph.

Listen to me, please.

I tell you he just sat there talking to me all night.

He never once laid a hand on me.

And in the morning he went away...

...and I never saw him again till that day of the trial.

Sure, I was his witness. And what a witness.

That's why you're persecuting me.

Because Earl treated me decent, and not like an animal.

We're busy. Go see your boyfriend.

He's got a nice room. Not for long.

He left a call for 7 a.m.

It's a wonder lightning don't come down and strike you all dead.

What's that?

They're fixing up a pain in the neck for your boyfriend.

Shame on you.

Shame on you!

A poor little fellow that never meant nobody no harm.

Sitting with the angel of death, and you cracking jokes.

You're going to get out of here.

Take your hands off me! Let's get out of here.

They ain't human.

I know. They're newspapermen. All they've been doing is lying.

All they're doing is writing lies.

Why won't they listen to me?

Why won't they listen to me?


Hildy Johnson?

Hang on. She'll be back in a minute.

You guys want to play any more cards?

What's the use? I can't win anyway.

Gentlemen of the press.


Phone for you.


Where are you?

You're where?

Well, how did that happen?

Never mind, never mind. I'll be right down.

I'm sorry, Pete. Sorry.

Hi, Sheriff. How you doing?

My shin and my back. What's going on around here?

Bruce was in trouble. Lioness rushes to defend cub.

Man forgets hankie. Mama goes to wipe nose.

I still give that marriage six months.

I don't know what you fellows are talking about.

What do you want, Pete?

Oh, I got the tickets for the hanging here, boys.

Pete? What?

Why can't you hang this guy at five o'clock instead of seven?

It won't hurt you, and we can make the city edition.

That's kind of raw, Roy...

...hanging a man in his sleep to please a newspaper.

But you can reprieve him twice so he hangs three days before election.

And you can run on a law-and-order ticket.

I had absolutely nothing to do with those reprieves.

How do we know there won't be another tonight?

What if Egelhoffer finds Williams insane?

He won't find him insane, because he isn't. He's just as sane as I am.


Be serious, boys. After all, this is a hanging.

And it's going to go according to schedule.

Seven o'clock in the morning and not a minute earlier.

There's such a thing as being humane, you know.

All right, Pinky. Wait until you want a favor.

And please don't call me Pinky. Why not?

Because I got a name, see, and it's Peter B. Hartwell.

What's the "B" for? Bull.

But I'm innocent. I didn't do it. I never stole a watch in my life!

I know you didn't, Bruce. Mike, let him out.

I can't. He's accused of stealing a watch they found on him.

But I never stole... Please, Bruce.

Who accused him? Diamond Louie, a crook.

I know. It's no good. You going to let him out or not?

I never stole... Please.

All right, you're not. Read the Post in the morning.

I can't imagine who'd do a thing like that to me.

I can't think of any enemies. I'm sure you haven't any...

Have you got the check? Oh, yes, I have it right here.

That's a funny superstition you newspaper people have.

Yes, isn't it?

About being arrested, I thought...

...maybe Walter Burns might have something to do with it.

But then, of course, I realized he couldn't have.

Why? He's a very nice fellow.

Oh, yes, I found that out.

What's the matter? I've lost my wallet.

Yes? Well, Bruce, never mind. I have the money.

Better give me the check too.

And that picture of us in Bermuda.

Don't bother, Bruce. You'll find lots of things missing.

Wait here. I'm not taking any more chances.

I'll be down in three minutes. We'll take the next train.


"And so into this little tortured mind...

...came the idea that that gun had been produced for use.

And use it he did.

But the state has a production for use plan too. It has a gallows.

And at 7 a.m., unless a miracle occurs, that gallows will be used...

...to separate the soul of Earl Williams from his body.

And out of Mollie Malloy's life...

...will go the one kindly soul she ever knew".

That's as far as she got.

But can that girl write an interview?

She'll do till somebody else comes along.

It's not ethical, reading other people's stuff.

Where you get that ethics stuff?

You're the only one who'll swipe any of it.

I say anybody that can write like that won't give it up to sew socks...

...for a guy in the insurance business.

Now I give that marriage 3 months and I'm laying 3-1.

Any takers? I'll take that bet.

A girl can't leave the room without being discussed by old ladies.

Hello, Post? Get me Walter Burns, will you, please?

Don't get sore. We were only saying...

...a reporter like you wouldn't quit so easy.

This is Hildy Johnson. I can quit all right, without a single quiver.

I'll live like a human being, not like you chumps.

Is that you? I've got some news for you.

I got the interview, but I've got some more important news.

Better get a pencil and take it down.

All ready?

Now, get this, you double-crossing chimpanzee.

There won't be an interview or a story.

Your check leaves with me in 20 minutes.

I wouldn't cover the burning of Rome for you.

And if I ever lay my eyes on you again...

...I'll hammer on your monkey skull so it rings like a Chinese gong!

You don't know why I'm angry? Get Louie to tell you about his watch.

And there's just one other little thing.

Hear that? That's the story I just wrote.

I know we had a bargain. I said I'd write it.

I didn't say I wouldn't tear it up. It's all in little pieces now.

And I hope to do the same for you someday.

That's my farewell to the newspaper game.

I'll be a woman. Not a news machine.

I'll have babies, give them cod-liver oil and watch their teeth grow.

And if I ever see one of them look at a paper, I'll brain him.

Where's my hat?

Mr. Burns? Yes, she's still here. Give me that.

And another thing I want...

Where is my... There it is.

Hello, Doctor. Sorry to be late. Quite all right.

These boys from the newspapers take up my time.

They wanted me to hang Williams at their convenience.

Oh, hello, Earl. These newspapers.

What they did to me in Chicago! I believe it.

Always after me for interviews. Me too.

I did promise to make some sort of statement...

...when I finished here. You don't mind, do you?

It is hardly ethical. All statements are supposed to come from me.

I see. What do you say to giving them some sort of joint interview?

I can discuss some of the psychological aspects of the case and you...

We'd have our pictures taken together?

Shaking hands. Splendid idea!

I don't take a good picture.

That doesn't matter. Publicity's the thing.

Doctor, I'm getting awful tired.

Can't I go back to jail again?

I'm sorry. I forgot you were there.

No, we've further questions for you.

Sheriff, would you extinguish the lights?

That will help with what we're doing here. Now, let me see.

Mr. Williams, you know, of course, that you are going to be executed.

Who do you feel is responsible for that?

I am innocent. It wasn't my fault.

Well, Murph. Send a post card, kid.

Goodbye. Au revoir, Hildegarde.

When will we see you again?

Next time you see me, I'll be in a Rolls Royce...

...giving interviews on success.

So long, you wage slaves.

When you're climbing fire escapes, getting kicked out front doors...

...and eating in one-armed joints...

...don't forget your pal, Hildy Johnson.

And when the road beyond unfolds, and the work...

Look out! It's a jailbreak!

What's the matter? What happened?

Watch where you're aiming, will you?

Watch the gate! He'll try the gate!

Who got away? Who was it?

Earl Williams! Who did he say?

Earl Williams!

Hello, hello! Hurry up, this is important.

Flash! Earl Williams just escaped. Jailbreak!

Williams went over the wall!

I don't know anything yet.

Hello, Post? Give me Walter Burns, quick. Hildy Johnson.

Walter? Walter? Hildy.

Earl Williams just escaped from the county jail.

Don't worry, I'm on the job.

Hey, Cooley!


Hey, wait a minute!

Cooley, I want to talk to you!

This is Endicott. Give me rewrite.

He ain't here.

Hello, Gil? Here's the situation now.

Ready? Williams was taken to the sheriff's...

...to be examined by Egelhoffer. In a few minutes, he shot his way out.

Nobody knows where he got the gun. He got out through the skylight.

He must have slid down the rainpipe.

Nobody knows where he got it. Or they won't talk.

Give me the desk.

The crime commission offers a $10,000 reward.

No clue yet as to Williams' whereabouts.

Here's a little feature. An accident about a tear bomb.

Yeah, tear bomb, tear bomb. Criminals cry for it.

I don't know.

The tear bomb went off unexpectedly in the hands of the bombing squad.

The following deputies were rushed to the hospital.

A fine friend you are. Their names are...

...Mervin D. Wilkerson, the mayor's brother-in-law.

After all I've done for you.

Howard Schuster, the sheriff's uncle.

Highlights on Sheriff Hartwell's manhunt.

William Mansfield, his landlord, and Lester Winthrop...

...who married the sheriff's niece.

You remember, the very homely dame? Call you back.

Mrs. William Rice, scrub lady, while scrubbing the eigth floor...

...was shot by one of the sheriff's deputies.

Look, I'm not...

There goes another scrub lady!

It was only a flesh wound. They took her to the hospital.

McCue speaking. Give me the desk. Any dope on how he escaped?

Maybe the sheriff let him out so he could vote for him.

A man answering the description of Earl Williams boarded a southbound...

Call you back.

I thought you'd gone. I thought so too.

Get me Walter Burns, quick!

Walter, listen.

I've got the story on how Williams escaped, and I've got it exclusive.

That's right, and it's a pip.

It cost me $450 to tear it out of Cooley.

What's the story?

I'll give it to you. But first I have to tell you I gave him money.

And it wasn't exactly mine.

It's Bruce's money and I want it back.

Bruce's money?

Sure, you'll get it. Now, what's the story?

I'll send the money. I swear it on my mother's grave.

All right. Here's the... Wait a minute, your mother's alive!

My grandmother's grave. What's the story?

You get that money down here.

All right, here's your story. The jailbreak of your dreams.

This expert, Dr. Egelhoffer, the thinker from New York...

...was giving Williams a sanity test in the sheriff's office.

Sticking a lot of pins in him so he could get his reflexes.

He decided to reenact the crime as it had taken place...

...in order to study Williams' coordination.

I'm coming to it. He had to have a gun to reenact the crime with.

Who do you suppose supplied it? Peter B. Hartwell. "B" for brains.

No kidding!

I'm not kidding. I'm not good enough to make this up.

The sheriff gave his gun to the professor...

...who gave it to Earl, who shot the professor in the classified ads.

No, ads.

Ain't it perfect?

If he'd unrolled a red carpet and loaned Williams an umbrella...

...it couldn't have been more ideal.

Who? Oh, no. Egelhoffer wasn't badly hurt.

They took him to the hospital, where they're afraid he'll recover.

That's great work, Hildy.

Stop worrying about that money. You'll get it in 15 minutes.

I had better. Bruce is waiting in a taxi for me and we're in a hurry.

Hold on a minute.

Vangie, come here.

There's a guy in a taxi in front of criminal courts.

Name's Bruce Baldwin.

What does he look like? He looks like Ralph Bellamy.

Oh, him? Can you handle it?

I've never flopped on you yet, have I?

Come on, get going. You only got about two minutes. Hurry.

Sorry to keep you waiting. How much was it again?

$450. Well, just a second.

Louie, come here. I need $450 worth of counterfeit money.

Can't carry that much, boss. No, just the $450 counterfeit.

I got that on me.

Quite a coincidence. Take it over to Hildy.

It's coming. I'm sending it with Louie.

Thanks for your story. And good luck on your honeymoon.

No, no, never mind the thanks. Just see that money gets here.

Hildy, you still here? No, I'm in Niagara Falls.

McCue speaking.

Emil, I got a good feature on the manhunt.

Ready? Mrs. Phoebe DeWolfe, colored, gave birth to a pickaninny...

...in a patrol wagon with Hartwell's rifle squad acting as nurses.

Phoebe was walking along the street when...

That's right.

So they coaxed her into the patrol wagon.

When the pickanninny was born, they checked...

...to see if it was Earl Williams. They knew he was hiding somewhere.

Here's the payoff. They named the kid Peter Hartwell DeWolfe.

Press room.

Bruce? I thought you were downstairs in a...


Arrested again. What for this time?

Well, they called it "mashing".

No, I didn't, Hildy!

I was sitting in the taxi where you left me...

...and the young lady seemed to have a dizzy spell and I just...

She's kind of...

Yes, she's a blonde.

Yes, very blonde.

Never mind. I know how it happened. Just a minute.

Get me Walter Burns. Hildy Johnson.

Bruce, where are you? Twenty-seventh Precinct? Hold on a minute.

Walter, you...

He was there a minute ago.

But I want...

"I'm sorry, I can't locate him". Why, that double-crossing...

Hello, not you. Bruce, I can't get there right away.

How about 20 minutes?

I have to wait here for the...

I'll tell you when I see you.

If I ever get my hands on Walter...

Anything I can do to help? How much money you got?

$1.80. 64 cents.

Welcome to it. Thanks, you better buy an annuity.

What's that, Emil? No, I can't give you an official statement.

No, wait a minute. Here's the mayor. How about a statement, Mayor?

Don't pester me now, please. His Honor won't say anything.

Have you seen Hartwell? Hard to tell.

There's so many cockroaches around...

Wait a minute. How about a statement?

We go to press in 20 minutes. I've nothing to say. Not now.

Just a moment. What do you know about the escape?

Where'd he get the gun? Not so fast.

About the election... What effect will this have?

None whatsoever.

How can an unavoidable misfortune like this...

...have any influence on the upright citizens of our fair city?

Mr. Mayor, please, is there a Red Menace or ain't there?

How did Williams get out?

Have you picked out somebody to be responsible?

Any truth in the report you're on Stalin's payroll?

The senator claims you sleep in red underwear.

Never mind the jokes. Don't forget I'm the mayor and...

Hartwell, I want to see you!

How'd he get away?

Where'd he get the gun?

Any statement on the Red Uprising tomorrow?

Red Uprising? There will be no Red Uprising.

The governor says the situation calls for the militia.

I say anything the governor says is a tissue of lies.

Here's a red-hot statement from the governor.

He claims the mayor and sheriff have shown themselves...

...to be a couple of eight-year-olds playing with fire.

You can quote him as follows:

"It's lucky for the city that next Tuesday is Election Day...

...as the citizens will thus be saved the expense of impeaching...

...the mayor and the sheriff". That's all. Call you back.

Nice to have seen you, Mayor.

Excuse me, I've got so much to do. Wait. Who engineered this getaway?

Was it the Reds? Was it you?

Me? Just a minute. I'll tell you. I've got him located.

Williams? Where?

Out on Center Street. I just got a tip.

Why didn't you say so? The rifle squad is going out.

You'll catch him if you hurry.

Look, please... Pete, I want to talk to you.

I've got so much to do.

See here, Fred... Pete, you're through.

Through? You mean I'm through?

I'm scratching your name off the ticket...

...and running Sherman in your place.

"Reform the Red with a rope"! Williams isn't a Red and you know it!

But there's Communistic sympathizers and I thought...

...if I got a slogan like that I could...

That's got nothing to do with this case.

There are 200,000 votes at stake. If he don't hang, we'll lose them.

We're going to hang him. He can't get away.

What do you mean? He did get away, didn't he?

What do you want?

What do you want? Are you Sheriff Hartwell?

I'm him. What is it?

You're a hard man to find. I have a message from the governor.

What? It was a reprieve for Earl Williams.

For who? Earl Williams.

You said there wasn't going to be a reprieve.

It frightens me to think of what I'd like to do to you. Who was there?

Nobody. He was fishing. Get the governor on the phone.

He's not there. He's duck shooting.

Blasted nimrod! Fishing, duck shooting...

A guy who's done nothing for the last 40 years...

...gets elected governor and he's a Tarzan.

Read that. "Insane". He knows very well Williams isn't insane.

I never met the man.

Pure politics. It's an attempt to ruin us.

What do we tell the reporters?

Tell them the party is through on account of you.

As an afterthought, tell them I want your resignation now.

Hello. Yes, yes, this is Hartwell.

What? Where?

Holy Moses! Hold the wire!

They've got Williams!

The rifle squad has him at his house.

Tell them to hold the phone. Hold the wire.

Cover up that transmitter. No. Now, listen.

You never arrived with this.

Yes, I did. I came through that door...

How much do you make? I thought he was sheriff...

What's your salary? $40 a week.

How'd you like to make $350 a month? That's almost $100 a week.

I couldn't afford that. Who? Me?

They need a fellow like you in the city sealer's office.

The what? City sealer's.

You mean I should work in the sealer's...

My wife wouldn't like that. She lives in the country with my family.

That's all right. Bring her in. We'll pay all the expenses.

I don't think so. Why not?

I got two kids in school. If they change towns, they'll lose a grade...

No. They'll skip a grade.

And I guarantee you that they'll graduate...

Hold your horses, Olsen. Hurry up, Fred.

Now, what do you say?

That puts me in a peculiar hole.

No, it doesn't. You never delivered this.

You got caught in traffic or something.

No, I came... Pretend you didn't.

Now get out and don't let anybody see you.

But how do I know... Come to my office tomorrow.

What's your name? Pettibone.

Pettibone? Not really.

Lay low and keep your mouth shut.

I'm tired anyhow. Go to this address.

Nice homey place.

They'll take care of you. Tell them Fred sent you.

Here's $50 on account. Wait, I'll tell you in one minute.

You forgot to tell me what a city sealer does.

Is it hard? Easy. Very easy.

Good, because my health isn't what my wife...

We'll fix that too. My wife?

Yes, fix anything. Go ahead.

They're still on the phone.

Tell them to shoot to kill. But the reprieve!

Go ahead and do as I tell you. Hello, Olsen.

Shoot to kill. That's the orders. Pass the word along.

$500 reward. $500 for the man who does it.

I'll be right over.

Hi, Hildy.

You double-crossing hyena.

What'd you pull on Mr. Baldwin this time?

Who, me? You and that albino of yours.

Evangeline's no albino. She'll do, till one comes along.

She was born in this country.

If she tries anything else, she'll have to stay in this country.

Did you bring that money? Oh, yeah, $400.


All right, you can't blame a guy for trying.

Give me a receipt. I'll give you a scar.

You got plenty of them.

I'll take Mr. Baldwin's wallet too.

Mr. Baldwin's what? His purse. Come on, Louie.

All right, Hildy. I'll do it for you because I like you.

But tell your financier to be more careful, know what I mean?

I'll loan him a pair of your brass knuckles.

Don't talk that way. I'll take that.

I'll take it to the station. Wait a minute!

Take it to the 27th Precinct and tell the cops how this happened.

I couldn't do that. Burns would turn me in.

Not a bad idea. Here, catch!


Hello, operator. Hildy Johnson. Will you get me...

Drop that phone!

Never mind.

You won't tell anybody where I am.

Put that gun down, Earl.

You don't want to shoot me. I'm your friend, remember?

I'm writing the story on you of production for use.

That's right. Production for use. You don't want to hurt your...

Don't move! Maybe you're my friend, maybe not.

But don't come nearer.

You can't trust anybody in this crazy world.

I don't blame you. I wouldn't trust anybody either.

Don't do that. Put it back. Put it back.

If you try any tricks, I'll shoot you. I can do it right from here.

Sure you could, Earl. But you don't want to do that.

You don't want to kill anybody.

No, you're right. I don't want to kill anybody.

That's what I thought. Wait a minute. Where are you going?

I was going to close the door so nobody'd see you.

No, you weren't. You were going to get somebody.

But I don't want that. All I want is to be left alone.

I won't get anybody. You will.

You'll get them after me again. I won't let you do that. I won't...

Give me that. I guess I fired all the shells.

I'm awful tired. That shot. They'll know you're here.

I don't care.

I'm not afraid to die. I told the guy that when he handed me the gun.

Quiet! Waking me in the middle of the night.

Talking about things they don't understand.

Shut up.

I wish they'd take me back and hang me.

They will if you don't keep quiet.

I couldn't go through another day like this.

You think I could?

Get me Walter Burns, quick. Tell him I need him.

Bruce, I know I said I'd be down, but something terrific has happened.

Walter, come right away.

Wait, Bruce, I'll explain.

I've got Earl Williams here, in the press room.

On the level. Hurry, I need you!

Bruce, I've captured Earl Williams. You know, the murderer.

Stay there, Earl. Wait. Bruce, I'll be down.

As soon as I hand him to the paper.

Bruce, I can't. Don't you realize...

Who is it? Me, Mollie Malloy. Open the door!

What do you want, Mollie? I got to find...

Where is everybody? They've gone.

Please tell me where.

I don't know, and I'm awfully busy.

They got him surrounded. They'll shoot him down like a dog.

They're looking for you too.

I don't care. Tell me. I ain't afraid of them.

All right, they're down at Center Street and Fourth.

Oh, that's where I used to... Mollie, Mollie, don't go.

Come in, Mollie. Draw up a chair.

Hello. How did you get in here?

Down the pipe. I didn't mean to shoot him. Really, I didn't.

Be quiet. You believe me, don't you?

Sure, I believe you.

Thanks for the roses. They were beautiful.

That's all right, Mr. Williams.

Don't cry. Don't you get hysterical.

I want to get him out.

You wouldn't get down that hall. But they'll find him.

I know. I'm trying to think before those reporters come back.

Let them take me. What's the difference?

I'll never let them.

Who locked the door?

Now it's too late. It isn't. Get in this desk.

Oh, what's the use? Come on, get in.

We'll get you out in ten minutes.

Pull yourself together. All right, here. Sit down.

All right, all right, I'm coming!

Don't kick the building down. We got phone calls to make.

What's she doing up here?

What's the matter?

Came up here and had hysterics.

How do you feel, kid? Not so good.

Get you some water?

Do anything for you? You don't look so sick.

Did you bump into Williams? Funny!

Where is he? Let me alone.

Okay. Give me the desk. No harm in asking.

Hello, Jim. Yes, false alarm. They surrounded the house, all right...

...but Williams wasn't there.

The Halloween outside has the police standing on its ear.

I thought you were gone. I'm waiting for money from Walter.

What a chase! Give me Emil.

Give me the desk. Any news, boys?

Yeah, I never been so tired in my life.

What? Where? Melrose Station?

All right, connect me. Hello, Mollie. How are you?

Hold it a minute. This looks good.

An old lady claims Williams is hiding under her piazza.

Tell her to stand up.

You want to go out on it? I'll cover this end.

I spent $1.40 on taxicabs already. No more going out.

Never mind, Sarge. Who pulled the shades down?

They were throwing those lights around.

You know, I've got a hunch Williams...

...ain't anywhere they've been looking for him.

He might be here in this building.

Sure, sure, hanging around like a duck in a shooting gallery.

From the skylight, but how did he reach the ground?

I'm pretending there ain't any Earl. He could have jumped to this roof.

From the roof he could slide down the drainpipe.

And come in any of these windows.

If the story walks in the window...

Masterminds. Why don't you go home? Maybe Williams will call on you.

It'd be funny if he was in this building.

Why not search the building?

I am not wandering all over. A great bunch of reporters you are.

Too lazy to go after the biggest story in years.

You seem pretty anxious to get rid of us.

Are you trying to scoop us? Are you crazy? On my time?

Maybe Mollie's been giving her the truth on how Williams got the gun.

I didn't do nothing.

Come clean. Let the girl alone. She's...


Mrs. Baldwin. Mother.

Don't "mother" me. Playing cat and mouse and keeping my boy locked up.

Making us miss two trains, and you supposed to be married tomorrow.

I'll be with you in five minutes... Just give me Bruce's money.

You can stay here forever, you and that murderer you caught.

Murderer? Which one of these men is it?

They all look like murderers. What murderer did you catch?

I never said any such thing.

I'm quoting my son. He has never lied to me.

Somebody's lying.

I never said anything like that. Yes, you did.

I said I was trying to find the murderer.

Quit stalling. She's got it balled up.

Who are you holding out on?

Nobody. Now let me go, will you?

Stop it, stop it!

She don't know where he is. I'm the only one that knows.

Where's Williams? Try and find out.

Come on, talk. Now you want me to talk?

Talk. Ain't that funny?

You wouldn't listen to me before, and now you want me to talk.

Don't say anything.

I know what I'm doing. Stay out of this.

Why didn't you listen to me? Cut that out.

Hands off! Where is he?

Why do you want to know? So you can write more lies to sell papers?

Never mind that. All right. I'll give you a story.

A wonderful story!

Only this time it'll be true. You'll never find me now!

Get the ambulance, somebody!

Get an ambulance, somebody!

She's dead. No, she isn't killed, she's moving!

Did you see that? She jumped. I know that.

Where have you got Williams?

Hidden. He's in the desk.

She didn't kill herself.

How're you doing? Let me out.

Quiet. You're sitting pretty.

What's in there? Who are you?

This is Bruce's mother. What are you doing?

Shut up! You're doing something wrong.

Mother, please. Take her out of here.

Take the lady to Polack Mike's. My name's Louie Peluso.

See that she doesn't talk to anyone.

Tell them it's a case of D.T.'s.

Don't worry, Mother. It's only temporary.

Let go of me.

Where are you going? To get Bruce out of jail.

Why did you do this to me? Get Bruce out of jail?

How can you worry about a man who's resting in a police station?

This is war! You can't desert me. Get off that trapeze.

You've got your story.

"Earl Williams captured by the Morning Post".

I covered your story for you, now I'm getting out.

You drooling idiot, there are 365 days in a year one can get married.

How many times you got a murderer locked up in a desk?

You got the whole city by the seat of the pants.

You've got the brain of a pancake.

This isn't just a story. It's a revolution.

The greatest yarn since Livingston discovered Stanley.

The other way around. Don't get technical at such a time.

You've taken a city that's been graft-ridden for 40 years...

...and given us a chance to have the same kind of government...

...New York has under La Guardia.

If I didn't have your best interest at heart, I wouldn't argue with you.

You've done something big. You've stepped up into a new class.

We'll make such monkeys of those ward healers nobody'll vote for them.

Expose them? We'll crucify that mob.

We'll keep Williams under cover, until we can break the story...

...then share the glory with the governor.

I get it, I get it. You'll kick over City Hall.

You got the mayor and Hartwell backed up against the wall.

This isn't just a newspaper story. It's a career!

And you bellyache about catching the eight or nine o'clock train.

But I never figured it that way. Because you're a doll-faced hick.

They'll be naming streets after you. There'll be statues of you.

The movies will be after you. There'll be a Hildy Johnson cigar.

I can see the billboards now: "Light up with Hildy Johnson..."

We got a lot to do. Now you're talking.

We can't leave Williams here. We'll take him to my private office.

How are you going to take him? We'll carry the desk over.

It's crawling with cops outside.

We'll lower it out the window with pulleys.

Start pounding out a lead!

How much of this stuff do you want? All you the words you got.

Can I call the mayor a bird of prey? Call him anything you like.

Give him the works. Hello, Duffy? We got the biggest story in years.

"Earl Williams captured by the Morning Post. Exclusive!"

Tear out the whole front page.

The whole front page. Out! And never mind the European war.

We got something bigger than that. Hildy Johnson's writing the lead.

And get hold of Butch O'Connor.

Tell him to come up here with his wrestlers.

Yeah, Butch O'Connor.

What? I've got a desk I want moved...

What the deuce do you want?

Hello, Bruce. Hildy.

Never mind the Chinese earthquake.

I just want to ask you... How'd you get out of jail?

Not through any help of yours.

I'm not talking to you.

I had to wire Albany for $100 so I could get out on bail.

What will they think in Albany? The money went to the police station.

We're waiting for that story. We'll explain everything to them.

Where's mother? She left.

I can't hear you.

Where'd she go? Out someplace.

Junk the Polish Corridor! Tell me where my mother was going.

She couldn't say. This is more important.

Did she get the money? She left in a hurry.

I'll take that money. In my purse.

I can handle things. I'll take that certified check too.

I'll give you the tickets. You'll find your money in the wallet.

My wallet? This is my wallet.

Say, there's something funny going on... What are you doing?

Just wanted to look at it.

Hildy, I'm taking...

I'm taking the 9 o'clock train. Sure, sure.

Did you hear what I said? I said I am taking the 9 o'clock...

Oh, Bruce, I put it in here!

Let her alone, will you, buddy.

Do me a favor... Just answer one question.

You don't want to come with me, do you?

Answer me. You don't, do you?

No. Take the Miss America pictures off page six.

Hildy, tell me. Tell me the truth.

Wait a minute. Now look here, my good man...

You shut up, Burns.

You're doing all this to her.

She wanted to get away from you.

But you caught her and changed her mind...

Stick Hitler on the funny page. Now let me ask you...

Will you give up everything for a man like him?

No, but something's happened. I'll tell you...

Tell him nothing. He's a spy, you fool.

I am not a spy. Ridiculous.

You're coming with me right now.

Just a second. This is the biggest thing in my life.

I see. I'll keep. I'm like something in the icebox.

You just don't love me.

That isn't true. Just because you won't listen you say I don't love you.

You never intended to be decent and live like a human being.

All right, if that's what you want to think.

I'm trying to concentrate.

You're just like him and all the rest. Sure. That's what I am.

What? Leave the rooster story alone. That's human interest.

If you had any sympathy or understanding...

I understand, all right... Wait a minute.

There's one question I want to know. The mayor's first wife's name.

The one with the wart on her? Fanny. What, Duffy?

You never loved me at all.

Never mind. You don't work for advertising.

If you change your mind, I'm on the 9 o'clock train.

If you want me, take me as I am. Don't try to change me.

I'm no suburban bridge player. I'm a newspaperman.

That's it. Keep it coming as fast as you can.

Get back in there, you mock turtle.

You tell Butch it's a matter of life and death?

Good. Butch's on his way. We just have to hold out for 15 minutes.

The boys will be back to phone. I'll handle them.

God, now the moon's out.

Fine. Three taps is me. Don't forget. Got enough air?

Not very much. That better? You're sitting pretty.

How's it coming? All right. Where's Bruce?

He went out. Is he coming back here?

Certainly. Didn't you hear him? What have you got so far?

"While Hartwell's paid gunmen stalked the city, shooting bystanders...

...spreading terror, Williams was lurking..."

Wait a minute. Aren't you going to mention the Post?

I did. Second paragraph. Who reads the second paragraph?

How long have I been telling you how to write a story?

I'm sorry.

What's the idea of locking this door?

Who's that? Bensinger. That's his desk.

Open the door, will you?

- What's his name? Bensinger, of the Tribune.

- The Tribune? Who's in there?

Haven't you any better sense...?

Hello. Hello, Mr. Burns. Quite an honor having you come over here.

Hello, Bensinger. You know my... I just want to get my...

It's quite a coincidence seeing you tonight, isn't it?

How do you mean?

I was talking to our Mr. Duffy about you this afternoon.

Really? Nothing detrimental, I hope.

On the contrary. On the contrary.

That was one swell story you had in the paper this morning.

Did you care for the poem, Mr. Burns?

The poem? The poem was great.

I liked the ending especially.

"And all is well outside his cell...

...but in his heart he hears the hangman calling...

...the gallows falling...

...and his white-haired mother's tears".

Heartbreaking? That's fine.

Would you like to work for me?

We can use a man like you.

All we got are lowbrows like Johnson here.

Are you serious, Mr. Burns? Serious? Wait a minute.

Duffy, I'm sending Mr. Bunsinger over to see you.

Bensinger. Mervyn, isn't it?

Yeah... No. Roy. Roy V. Certainly.

Roy V. Bensinger, the poet.

You wouldn't know. You probably never heard of Shakespeare either.

Put Mr. Bensinger on staff. How much you getting on the Tribune?

$75. I'll give you $100 and a byline.

Now you give him everything he wants, you understand?

Roy, write me a story from the point of view of the escaped man.

He hides, afraid of every sound, every light.

He hears footsteps, they're closing in.

Get the sense of the animal at bay. Sort of Jack London style?

I'll get my rhyming dictionary. It doesn't have to rhyme.

I'm deeply grateful, Mr. Burns.

If there's an opening for a war correspondent...

...I parler a little French.

- I'll keep you in mind. Au revoir, mon capitain.


"His white-haired mother's tears". That's the tops.

Listen, that fellow Bensinger is on his way right now.

Handle him with kid gloves. Have him write poetry.

We don't want him. Stall him until the extra's out.

Say his poetry smells and kick him downstairs.

Double-crosser. That'll teach him.

He won't quit his paper without giving notice after this.

I mean you. Me?

You'd double-cross anybody... Wait a minute.

Bruce isn't coming back. He said he was taking the 9:00 train.

In that case, he's gone by now.

Don't sit there like a frozen robin. Get on with the story.

We ought to be finished when Butch gets here.

How you have messed up my life. What am I going to do?

Window's too small. We'll carry the desk out.

I'd be on that train right now. I'm a sap, falling for your line.

They'll name streets after me... Yes, well, get back to work.

I'm not going back to work. Walter, what...?

Who is it? It's me, boss. It's Louie.


What's the matter? Where's Mrs. Baldwin?

What happened?

Down Western Avenue, we was going 65 miles an hour, know what I mean?

Where's the old lady?

We run smack into a police patrol. Busted it in half.

Was she hurt?

Can you imagine bumping into a load of cops?

What did you do with her? Search me, when I come to...

You were with her. You were in the cab.

The driver got knocked cold. Butterfingers!

You handed her over to the cops. What do you mean?

They was on the wrong side of the street.

Fine. Now she's probably squawking to the police.

She's not squawking much. Know what I mean?

Don't tell me... Was she killed?

Was she? Did you notice?

Me with a gun on the hip and a kidnapped lady on my hands...

...I'm going to ask questions from cops?

You know what I mean? Dead, dead. This is the end!

It's fate.

What will be will be.

What am I going to say to Bruce?

What can I tell him?

If he loves you, you won't have to tell him anything.

Would you rather have had the old dame drag the police in here?

I killed her. I'm responsible.

What am I going to do? How can I ever face Bruce again?

Look at me, Hildy. I am looking at you, you murderer.

If it was my own grandmother, I'd carry on.

You know I would, for the paper. Louie, where'd it happen?

Western and 34th.

I got to get out of here... We can do more here. Be calm.


Hello, hello. Maine 4557.

Who? Butch, where are you?

Mission Hospital? Receiving room.

What are you doing there?

Was an old lady brought in from a smashup?

For H. Sebastian, Butch, it's a matter of life and death.

Nobody? I can't hear.

Morningside 2469. You got who? Speak up. A what?

You can't stop for a dame now!

I don't care if you've been after her. Our lives are at stake!

Are you going to let a woman come between us?

Was there an old lady brought in in an auto smashup?

Butch, I'd put my arm in fire for you up to here.

You can't double-cross me.

Look around, please.

All right, put her on. I'll talk to her.

Good evening, madam. Now, listen, you ten-cent glamour girl...

...you can't keep Butch from his duty. What's that?

You say that again, I'll kick you in the teeth!

Say, what kind of language is that?

Now, look here, you...

She hung up. What did I say?

Duffy, how do you like that? Mousing around with some big...

Will you shut up? I'm trying to hear! Duffy! That's cooperation.

Well, where is Duffy?

Diabetes. I ought to know better than to hire anybody with a disease.

Give me Olympia 2136, will you?

Yes, boss. Louie, it's up to you.

Anything you say, boss. Get a hold of some guys.

Anybody with hair on his chest, get them off the street.

We got to get that desk out.

Is it important? You're the best friend I got.

I like you too. Then don't fail me.

Get enough people to move that desk.

You know me. Shirt off my back.

Okay, don't bump into anything.

Dumb immigrant is sure to flop on me. Try the hospital again.

If he's not back in five, we'll carry it alone.

Do anything you want. There's a million ways.

We can have firemen take it out. I don't care what you do.

Come here. See if we can lift it. What? Nobody? Never mind.

Are you going to help me? No!

I'll strain my back. I'll find Mrs. Baldwin.

Don't open that door! I'll go to the morgue...

We want to talk to you a minute. Let go. What's the idea?

Get your hands off me!

Now look here, Johnson... Hey, you!

You mean me?

Yes, you. What do you mean by breaking in here like this?

Don't bluff me. I don't care what paper you're editor of.

Let go of me. Something's happened to my mother-in-law.

We know what you are up to. She and Mollie were in here talking.

I don't know anything. And there's been an accident.

There's something very peculiar going on here.

Now see here... Just a moment, Hartwell.

Make your accusations in the proper manner.

Otherwise, I'll have to ask you to get out.

Ask me to what?

Get out.

You will, eh? Don't let anybody in or out. We'll see about this.

Give him the third degree. Make them talk and you got Williams.

I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Are you going to talk?

What do you want me to say? What do you know about Williams?

There. Now we're getting some...

Take her away. I got ways to make her talk.

Don't you dare touch me or...

She got a gun! Grab it!

No, you don't. Walter!

All right, Burns. I'll take that gun.

Where did you get this? I can carry a gun.

Not this gun. I can explain it.

She was interviewing Williams, so I gave her a gun to defend herself.

Interesting. But this is the gun that Williams shot his way out with.

My good man, are you trying to make me out a liar?

I ought to know my own gun, oughtn't I...?

So that's where Williams got it. She got it from him.

Where's Williams?

Where is he? You're barking up the wrong tree.

Tell me where he is.

At the hospital calling on Professor Egelhoffer...

...with marshmallows.

Where is he? Ask the mastermind why he's here.

What do you know about this?

My dear fellow...

...the Morning Post doesn't obstruct justice or hide criminals.

You ought to know that. You're under arrest.

You too. Who's under arrest?

Listen, you square-toed, pimple-headed spy...

...do you realize what you're doing?

I'll show you.

You and the Post are obstructing justice.

I'll see that you're fined $10,000.

You'll see nothing.

I'll begin by impounding the Post's property.

Is this your desk?

What are you afraid of, Hildy? I dare you to move this desk.

Go ahead, try it. I will.

I warn you, you move this desk out of here, I'll put you behind bars.

He can do it too. I'll see Roosevelt hears about it.

Tell him. Come on, boys!

Confiscate this desk. This is your last chance.

This is a federal offense.

We'll take a chance.

All right.

Open up this door!

Mother! I'm glad to see you... That's the man that did it. There.

What's the idea here? She claims she's been kidnapped.

They dragged me down all the way down the stairs and...

Did he do it?

He was in charge. He told them to kidnap me.

Excuse me, madam. Are you referring to me?

You know you did.

What about this? Kidnapping, huh?

Trying to frame me, huh? I never saw her before in my life.

What a thing to say!

I was here when that girl jumped out the window.

Get the mayor over here.

Look, madam, be honest. If you were out joyriding...

...plastered, or got into a scrape, why don't you admit it instead of...

...accusing innocent people?

You ruffian! How dare you talk like that to me!

He's just crazy, Mother.

I'll tell more. I could tell you why they did it.

They were hiding some kind of murderer in here...

Hiding him? In here?

Madam, you're a cockeyed liar...

...and you know it!

What's that? He's in there!

Give me the desk. What a break!

Stand back. He might shoot.

Guns out. He's harmless.

Don't take any chances.

He can't hurt anybody, you've got his gun.

Go on, you gray-haired old weasel.

Let me out of here!

Mother! I was looking all over for you. What happened?

Jake, hang on.

Hildy, call Duffy.

No! You want to see us scooped?

Aim right for the center. That's murder.

Okay, one of you get on each end of the desk.

It's coming up. You're covered.

In a minute. Don't move.

Any time now. I'll count three.

It's hot.


Any second now.

Three. I got you, Williams.

Go ahead, shoot me. Come out.

Earl Williams was just captured in the criminal courts building.

On your feet. Don't try any funny stuff.

Williams was unconscious.

The police overpowered him.

He offered no resistance. His gun wouldn't work.

The Post turned Williams over to the sheriff.

Put the cuffs on them. More later.

An anonymous note led to Williams' capture. Hold on.

The sheriff's tracing a call that gave away Williams' hiding place.

Where's the old lady? She went out.

Call you back.

Give me the warden's office. You'll wish you'd never been born.

Will I?

Hello, Fred. Well, fine work, Pete.

You delivered the goods. Looks natural, don't it?

Sight for sore eyes. Aiding a criminal.

And a little charge of kidnapping... What's that?

But that's the jail.

Looks like about ten years apiece for you two birds.

When you think you've licked the Post, it's time to get out.

Whistling in the dark won't help. You're through.

Archie Leach said that to me a week before he cut his throat.

Is that so?

We've been in worse jams than this, haven't we, Hildy?

You forget the power that watches over the Post.

It's not with you now. Says you.

I've caught him. Yes, Williams.

Single-handed. Proceed to the hanging, per schedule.

You'll be in office exactly two days more.

We'll pull your nose out of that feedbag.

I tell you what you'll be doing. Making brooms in the penitentiary.

Joe? This is Hartwell.

Come to my office right away.

I captured a couple of important birds. Take their confessions.

Get Liebowitz.

The lawyers won't help you now.

You're talking to the Morning Post.

The power of the press?

Bigger men than you have found out what the power of the press is.

Presidents, kings...

Here's the reprieve. Get out.

You can't bribe me. My wife... Get out.

No, I won't. Here's the reprieve. What?

I don't want to be a city sealer.

Throw him out. Out you go.

Wait. Who's trying to bribe you?

They wouldn't take it. Insane!

What did I say? An unseen power.

What do you mean with a story like that?

He's an imposter.

Trying to hang an innocent man to win an election, eh?

That's murder.

I never saw him before. Lf I was to...

What's your name? Pettibone.

When did you deliver this first? Who'd you talk to?

They started to bribe me. They?

Those. Them. It's absurd on the face of it.

He's talking like a child.

Out of the mouths of babes. Hi, babe.

He's insane or drunk.

If Williams has been reprieved, I'm tickled to death. Aren't you?

You'd hang your mother to be reelected.

That's a horrible thing to say about anybody.

You're marvelous. Take a look at that.

You're an intelligent man. Never mind.

Let's have your story.

Nineteen years ago, I married Mrs... Skip all that.

She wasn't Mrs. Pettibone then. She was one of the...

This document is authentic. Williams has been reprieved.

Our commonwealth has been saved the necessity of shedding blood.

Get off the soapbox. Save that for the Tribune.

Take those handcuffs off my friends.

I'm amazed at you. Isn't he awful?

You don't know how badly I feel.

No excuse at all for Pete.

I was only doing my duty. That's all right.

What'd you say your name was? Pettibone.

Here's a picture of my wife. Fine-looking woman.

You haven't seen her yet. She's all right.

She's good enough for me. If I was to tell...

I understand perfectly, and as long as I am mayor...

Which ought to be about Three more hours.

Enough to get out a special edition asking for your recall.

And your arrest. You boys ought to get about ten years apiece.

Don't make any hasty decisions. You might run into a libel suit.

You'll run into the governor.

We understand each other perfectly.

Yes, and so do I.

So do you what? And now, Mr. Pettibone...

...we'll deliver this reprieve to the warden's office. Come along.

Lf I was to tell my wife... You won't have to.

Wait till they read the Morning Post tomorrow.

Tight squeeze.

Give me Duffy. That's the worst jam.

What? Where? Get him.

Remember stealing Old Lady Haggerty's stomach off the coroner?

Anytime you need this guy he's never there.

We proved she'd been poisoned, didn't we?

We had to hide out for a week.

Do you remember that?

The Shoreland Hotel. That's how we happened to...

We could have gone to jail for that too.

Yes, maybe you're right, Hildy. It's a bad business.

You'll be better off.

You better get going.

Where would I go? To Bruce, of course.

You know he's gone. He took a train. Send a wire.

He'll be waiting at the station when you get into Albany.

Why doesn't he have a phone? I don't know. I got us messed up...

Get going, Hildy. What is that with you?

Wait a minute. Can't you understand?

I'm trying to do something noble. Get out before I change my mind.

It's tough enough now.

Just a minute. Send him a wire. He'll be waiting.

Who'll write the story? I will. It won't be as good...

It's my story. I like to think that it...

At last. I get it. The same old act, isn't it?

Try to push me out, thinking I'll want to stay.

I know I deserve that. Wait a minute, Duffy.

This time you're wrong.

When you walk out that door, part of me will go right with you.

But a whole new world will open up for you.

I made fun of Bruce and Albany. You know why?

Why? I was jealous.

I was sore because he could offer you the kind of life I can't give you.

That's what you want, honey.

I could do the story and take the train...

Forget it. Come on. Come on.

Goodbye, dear, and good luck.

Duffy, now this is how it goes so far...

Just a minute.

Hello. Who? Hildy Johnson?

She just left. I'm still here. I can take it.

Hang on a minute.

Hildy Johnson speaking.

The Fourth Precinct Police Station?

Put him on.

I thought you were on your way to Albany...

What for?

For having counterfeit money.

Counterfeit money?

Hold on a minute.

Where did you get it?

I gave it to you?

All right. I'll try and do something about it.


Honey, don't cry, please.

I didn't mean to make you cry. What's wrong? You never cried before.

I thought you were really sending me away with Bruce.

I didn't know you had him locked up.

I thought you were on the level, for once.

That you were just standing by and letting me go off with him...

...and not doing a thing about it.

Come on, honey. What did you think I was, a chump?

I thought you didn't love me.

What were you thinking with?

I don't know.

What are you standing there gawking for?

We have to get him out of jail.

Send Louie down with some honest money...

...and send him back to Albany.


Everything's changed. We're coming over to the office.

Don't worry about the story. Hildy will write it.

She never intended to quit. We're getting married.

Can we go on a honeymoon this time?


Duffy, you can be managing editor.

Not permanently. Just for the two weeks we're away.

I don't know where. Where are we going?

Niagara Falls.

Niagara Falls. Two whole weeks?

Sure, you've earned it. What?

What? A strike? What strike?



I know it's on the way, but... Okay, we'll honeymoon in Albany.

Okay, Duffy.

Isn't that a coincidence! I wonder if Bruce can put us up.

Say, why don't you carry that in your hand?