"AV (Adult Video), a tool for men's sexual fantasy,"
"a world of men domination."
"What if one day, everything is overturned,"
"and the roles of men and women have swapped..."
My name is Wyman Chan. I'm a writer, pen name "Touchez Moi"
I write erotic fiction for newspaper.
I'm not ashamed of it.
Cuz it requires certain writing skills.
For examples, boobies, I'll refer them as Pinky Peaches, and vagina as the Waterfall Cave.
She is my girlfriend. She is also a writer.
A well-known romance novelist - Ceclia Jik.
A few years ago, her lovey-dovey novel...
THINK OF YOU IN HIS ARMS has gone to 10th printing, sold as much as Hong Kong Map.
A sentence of hers worth more my whole column.
Look at her, elegant and decent But actually she has a dark side...
Wait a minute, left turn?
Is it like driving?
What a dumb-ass!
Every time I have to remind you! Like this!
Remember? I taught you so many times! Like this!
Am I hot?
Look at me!
Look at me!
Why are you pushing so hard?
Why are you digging so deep?
I am about to come, let's come together!
I came already.
You didn't scream when you were cumming.
Yes, I did.
I cried out, "Wow, it's here, I came".
But your eyes didn't even flip once?
Yes, they did!
You could see the whites, as if I was blind Really?
Let's have a round two, now!
It's like this...
Sex has traumatized me.
Larry, stop rushing me, it's almost done, just the ending now...
What? I don't need to write anymore?
You can't just scrapped an adult section like this.
Do you know how many men in Hong Kong rely on my work for their jerk breaks?
Have you ever thought of me working in the sports section?
Let me refer you...
Everything can be found on the internet now, the adult section is a goner. I'm now in the religion section.
Yesterday featured The Gospel, today is Buddha.
Buddha is good!
Simon, we are really doomed...
I know, the adult section is scrapped, I won't last very long here either...
Ah, the world is changing!
Who knows pervert business would die out one day...
Look at you, selling pirated porn here, that's stealing...
But now you can't even survive as a thief!
What has become of Hong Kong? The city is dying!
You're wrong, the city is dead.
But I think that pervert business would never die.
Think about it, what is the origins of humans?
It's by being horny!
If humans are not horny, how do we exist?
There must be a way!
Yes...But now everything on the internet is free, who would pay?
Content is more important than a freebie.
Do you understand? A great content!
We don't fucking understand.
In Hong Kong, there is "Home Ownership Scheme", for porn DVDs, there must be one that satisfy perverts' crave!
Let's ask the gang to invest a few thousands each, and invest into making an AV.
We can film whatever we want as we are investors, and the gang can also go to see the on-site shooting.
We three can sell the movie out... and split the profit.
But shouldn't it be quite expensive to make an AV?
I have asked around. The cost of filming an AV... can be a few thousands to a few hundred thousands, it's entirely up to you.
That's right! We can work around the budget.
Think about it, a Michelin food tour costs the same already, and there is no guarantee you would be full!
An AV production trip will definitely attract so many people!
It's really feasible!
I have a friend who sends me AVs from Japan regularly.
Have her arrange the trip, and we can even sell our movie to the Japanese after!
Great. She can have half the profit, we have the other half.
It seems that everything is coming together!
If it's for real, I'm interested too.
Who are you?
I'm here to buy porn.
A few thousands for the real stuff, I think my friends will be interested too.
You see? Our first investor!
If we succeed this time, we can do it for long-term!
Let's do it then, I am getting so turned on already.
Just talking about it give me a stiff y!
That one's great!
That one there "Bed your wife". Give me that one.
Fuck! Why the fuck are you buying! Go home and download!
What talk show? David Letterman works here!
He is really famous. This way...
By the way, who is the woman that helps us to make this AV?
She is a Hong Konger, but has lived in Japan for a long time.
It's her who sends me Japanese AVs to make pirated ones.
This time she has helped us a lot.
Look, the one who is squatting there is her.
Up the stairs is a paradise amid these busy surroundings.
It's quite a secret place.
It fits what we come for.
I have a bad feeling about it.
This is yours, yours, yours, yours, yours“.
These are yours.
I will show the special rooms in a minute, I can assure that you will all be so wowed!
You see? It really 'wows' the fuck out of you!
The special thing of here is you can slide in and out, it's a fucking great feature!
It looks just the same as a morgue!
Of course not!
In a morgue, you are wheeled out, here you do it yourself.
Now I know a place that's worse than subdivided flats!
How can we live in such a small room?
If you see it as a locker, it's actually fucking huge!
Excuse me, you are Shitdog...
Miss Shodaiko, you are right.
We should always look at the bright side.
We don't come here to stay in a five-star hotel, right?
Our money should be spent in the right place.
Our energy should also be used in the right place.
Thank you very much, Miss Shodaiko!
You are welcome!
Shodai, touching balls... is your real name?
Or your hobby?
My mom gave me this name.
Your morn likes to touch balls... Yes!
Fuck, would this be a set-up?
Well, what I fear the most now... is this Shodaiko will be the leading actress in our AV.
Now you are really scaring me!
It won't be that bad, I have already told her... we only want a famous AV actress with big tits.
Don't you think that you guys are actually quite pessimistic?
You always assume that we are being set up.
Then what should we do?
Think about it, as a man, we have seen AVs for decades, and have jerked off thousands of times.
But tomorrow will be the first time to encounter a real AV girl, and have our own AV.
Shouldn't we have an ablution... to welcome this sacred moment?
Raining is actually not too bad!
It will be even heavier tomorrow...
How do you know?
AV girls usually have really big and "heavy" boobs...
Tomorrow is gonna be better.
Look everyone, here is the holy place of AV... and also an all-in-one studio.
Look over there, a clinic... where "Hot and Steamy Nurse" is often filmed.
Here's a classroom, where "innocent School Girl" is filmed.
Isn't it fucking amazing?
This bed is the one I've seen in many AVs!
Take me a photo...
I fuck you...
I bang you...
Your eyes are really sharp, many AV actors have actually creamed here.
Generally it's there!
Under a UV light, it will glow!
Good morning, everyone!
This is the director, you can ignore him.
Oh really? At least bow and pay a tribute like in a funeral.
I resign myself to your guidance!
Hello everybody, this is Miss Yui Tatsumi.
Hello everyone, I'm Yui Tatsumi.
I am here for your guidance.
Yui Tatsumi. F Cup. Former Race Queen.
Her nickname is "the Queen of Race Queen"!
Feeling excited is understandable.
But if we don't start the shooting, it won't be finished on time.
It's actually quite dull.
Yeah, it's so boring.
Miss Shodaiko, please translate for me.
To be honest, I think that the AV actor's performance is so-so.
He is so predictable.
Now that we have the final say, I think he can try the hardest position right from the start.
Great idea! The hardest position? What is it?
Excuse me, The Helicopter...
He can't do this one? Never mind.
Let's try a 69 then?
This one is not bad!
Whatever you say, it's not possible.
He can't do this either? So useless.
Let's try something simpler then, The Pile Driver?
Wait, wait a minute. What happens?
What is this? I can't do it if this continues.
I understand. Let's continue then .
They are the investors, just do whatever you feel like.
They said that shagging is a progressive act.
What? Have they lost their fucking mind? Progressive?
It's been like this for years.
Your AVs should take a leap, no?
I say, we should it do like this, right?
Are you looking down on me?
You guys know nothing about AV, shut the fuck up or leave!
What? We don't know AV? We are all professional audience!
You dumb-ass, we have watched pirated AVs for decades!
How many years have you been filming Avs?
Shut up! Oh, I am so scared!
Stop yapping, if you are so great, speak in Japanese.
Don't you have the least bit of work ethics?
Go film it yourselves, I quit!
What the fuck, how can he leave like that?
What can we do now?
Oh, the main actor is fucking gone!
Let's have another guy!
Let me make this clear, lam only the middleman, and I have already sold this AV's copyright, if you can't deliver, you have to pay me back!
What? That serious?
You are so talented to be a traitor.
How do you know that she is not?
Why doesn't one of you take up the role?
She asked if one of you guys can take up the role.
Wow, it's actually in your advantage, you cannot only see but fuck as well, one stone two birds!
Why don't you take part as well! Fucking crazy!
You go! The Helicopter is your idea!
Stop that, let's get someone quick.
Larry, I am so happy for you.
I've never thought... taking you here can favor you in this way.
Let me go and buy you a Redbull and some condoms!
Hold on second...
I frankly cannot do it.
What the fuck!
A minute ago you were suggesting The Helicopter and such.
I really want to do it.
But my inner thigh has this birthmark, it's so recognizable!
Don't be silly, everyone has a birthmark like this!
But my birthmark is in a shape of Mickey Mouse, I worry I would be sued by Disney if it's exposed in the film!
You are so annoying.
Wait a minute...
What about him? Can you?
What do you think?
I can't either...
Mine is curved.
Have you ever seen... a twisted bamboo?
You are such a pervert, why don't you go?
I'm sorry, I have to confess... that I'm actually a tomboy.
That's why I didn't remove my pants for the ablution.
You can't be fucking serious!
That's why you have boobs!
If you guys don't settle this now, I will chop you all in pieces!
Hey! Stop! Don't!
The Japanese triad is real evil.
I know one of them, his little finger was chopped off... just because he bought the wrong brand of cigarettes!
What the fuck can we do now?
Listen to me, as a Chinese, we have this golden opportunity to come to Japan, and to use our bodies to justly "punish"... a Japanese girl without holding back.
Stop asking what our country has done for us, we should ask in return, what have we done for our country?
Let's prove to Japanese girls... we Chinese aren't the Sick man of Asia!
Diaoyu Islands are ours! Diaoyu Islands are ours!
That's right! Yui Tatsumi is ours too!
I'm really happy-
It seems that we have reached a consensus.
So, who will be the Lucky Boy tonight?
Ha, you silly boys!
Take her clothes off, you fucking moron!
Yes, yes, I'm doing it now!
Hurry up! Are you making a stew?
Why don't you do it?
No! Stop it, no!
Can you just let me go?
I will pay you anyway!
Take the top off...
Take his pants off...
It's in again!
She is gushing!
You guys are the worst!
Forcing me into all this!
He is so cute and funny.
Before I met Ozawa-san, I didn't know women can actually take the lead.
I am a bit stirred but feel so happy.
I feel so sorry for you, as you look so miserable in the film, it gives me tears when I watch it.
Do you think that it can be pixelated more?
This...mosaic effect, ok?
Ok, 0k! No problem!
What's wrong with you? The mosaic effect... is see-through! Can you make it more blurred?
Can you also not just focus on my dick?
Put a mosaic on my face as well!
The whole face...Put it on the whole body!
You know what, blur the whole picture!
Don't you worry, If you remove your glasses, no one would recognize you.
Who are you?
You don't have to do this, I'm not an idiot!
Before all this, I thought... it's really stressful for women to take off their clothes, but now I realize it's worse for men.
Let's not talk about me.
What about you? Simon told me... you are from Hong Kong, shouldn't you have a Chinese name?
Or your family name is really Hato as in Hatoyama?
It's been so long.
I don't fucking remember.
So... it's a secret.
Actually I stay in Japan... for a fucking romantic reason.
I have been waiting for someone.
Why don't you ask who I'm waiting for?
I don't on purpose... so that you would shut up!
I feel like I was in a dream, and now that I wake up, my life with AV has come to an end.
Who knows... it's just the beginning.
Let's put it beside Sex Pistols.
Wyman, you are freaking awesome!
Everyone "likes" that video on the forum.
You can't be serious...
That adult video, "The Innocent Man"!
Everyone is crazy forwarding, the link can't even load now.
Who is that girl?
Yui Tatsumi? Wow, she is hot!
Go to Japan...
It's on the forum of "Family Kingdom"?
Any many other sites as well?
Sis, that's not me!
Morn, that's not me, Mom!
Wyman Chan, turn on the TV to the News Channel, NOW!
Recently there's been an AV circulating on the internet, the main actor in this video is rumoured to be a Hong Konger.
Since the release of the video, it has already got a million hits a day... around all the sites in Hong Kong, and the same goes in Taiwan and Southeast Asia.
And the most unexpected thing is, this video... has caused a national uproar in Japan!
Now let's talk to Carrie, our correspondent in Tokyo.
Since its release, it has swept across the internet in Japan.
Recently he has also beaten all the Japanese idols, and is voted No. 1 by the readers... of a popular Japanese female magazine... as the "Man of One Night Stand".
Since I have watched this video, I dream of him every night, my husband is already complaining!
I think he's really cute, In the past, men always conquer women fiercely in AVs, but now the roles have been switched.
I really enjoyed watching it!
As it swapped the roles of men and women in traditional AVs, this releases the suppression in women... who feel that they have been looked down in AVs.
Recently Japanese AV companies have got countless calls, regarding the true identity of this man.
There is also a headhunt campaign launched on the internet.
It is believed that the identity of this man will soon be exposed.
CSC News, from Carrie here in Tokyo reports.
I'm so sorry, this is really an accident!
I won't do it again!
It's really not on purpose! I was forced!
Cecilia, please don't go!
If you go, I die right in front of you!
Do you recognize me?
How can I not?
You are that Shodaiko from Japan!
Yes! Why are you so fucking silly and commit suicide?
Why do I have to fucking commit suicide?
If I want to die, I should kill you first!
Those fake mosaics have ruined my life!
I have lost everything!
You should have thanked those mosaics!
Now you are a big hit!
All the AV production companies are looking for you!
They said that you are one of those...
Impressionism AV Actors, all the girls are turned on by you!
Really! Has anybody told you that you look like Tony Leung?
To be honest, you have no life in Hong Kong now.
Why don't you come with me and make some big bucks in Japan.
All the women in Japan are longing o see your body.
Why don't you earn some more before going to die?
Is my body really that sought after?
I wanna see it right now!
I guarantee, you will be the most popular AV actor in Japan.
Please accept my invitation, and let me be your agent!
The legendary Hong Kong man now officially... enters Japan as "Mario Ozawa"!
From now on, this is your home in Tokyo!
Aren't the apartments in Tokyo tiny?
This one is huge!
It has to match with the size of your dick!
You don't have to do this, I don't masturbate!
These are your homework!
That means the more I watch, the better I perform?
Correct! You're right.
I was forced last time, that's why I could perform, but if there are too many people on the set, I worry there would be a problem.
Don't worry, there will be so many veterans on the set.
You wouldn't be one of them?
No, I don't teach others!
Harder, it's "Mooto".
Let's come together, it's "lku".
It feels great, it's "Kimochi".
But the three reactions seem the same?
No, they are completely different!
Do you need to teach me some Japanese then?
In Japan, the most useful phrases are...
Haizara, Chuunama and "Cyu-hai".
Haizara is ashtray, what about "Chuunama"?
Chuunama is beer.
Then what is "Cyu-hai"?
Cyu-hai is liquor with hot water.
Cyu-hai, sounds like a pig's vagina, it's a drink?
Yes, it's a popular drink!
Before the shooting, I have arranged you to go and learn from a master, so as to boost your sex skills!
Taka Kato the Goldfinger!
Kato-san, please take me under you, and teach me everything!
What just happened?
The fly on the floor... just died of an orgasm given by my fingers.
Rest in peace!
Master, what are you doing?
The sea in 20km west-southwest from here is gushing, the shore is getting so wet.
No dinner for you if you can't dig out potatoes before sunset!
Drink up while it's fresh!
In Chinese tradition, the best thing is reserved for the Master
It's a great tradition.
You will succeed!
Go and open up the world of AV!
These people look so dodgy, are they AV actors too?
They are actually called "Juice-up Boys", the ejaculation back-ups for the real AV actors.
When the main actor is not be able to or ejaculate too early, we have to count on them.
During the shooting, it's actually not the real actors in the close-ups, it's them.
Oh, I see.
Like in action movies, there are doubles for the real stars.
They are paid per ejaculation, so it's better to keep it hard all the time.
But how do they count?
Every time they did it, a rubber band is added on their wrist.
Since they haven't jerked off yet, they don't have any now.
Excuse me! I'm so sorry!
Hey bro! What is this?
I'm so sorry!
This is called "Premature Ejaculation".
What kind of drink is he making?
Is it a men's drink for the actors?
This is fake semen.
It's made of banana juice, condensed milk and three drops of coffee.
It looks just like the real thing.
Do you want to have a sip?
No thanks, but it does look real.
If we already have "Juice-up Boys", why do we use these?
Because sometimes we need to take a shot of the shooting but the actors may not be able to...So we... hold this...
We give them a pipe.
Put it close to your dick, like this?
But then how to make it shoot?
Look here we have a pump, you pump it and it can shoot so far.
It's real smart!
That's why when there is a mouth or face shot in AVs, the girls swallow at ease, that's because of the banana juice.
Is the one there Aso Nozomi?
Yes, you are working with her today!
Are you kidding me?
It gives me so much pressure!
Miss Aso, it's Mario's first official AV shooting today, please give him some guidance.
Please look after me.
You are welcome.
I have seen the work of Ozawa-san before, I think you are really cute.
May I know which part of your body is the most sensitive?
She asked where your G-spot is.
The whole body!
Ozawa-san really has a great sense of humor.
I love man with a great sense of humor.
Please don't, Sir...
Remember, you have to give in after just a little bit of struggle, that shows you starting to want it.
If you struggle for too long, it would annoy the audience.
The trick is to... say "no" three times, then give in.
Do you understand?
There is also something you must bear in mind, Impossible does not exist between two people.
Thank you very much!
"A Dazzling Debut "Come for a Body Checkup, Mario""
I have to bang him.
Which grade are you in?
Grade 7 in this age?
He must be fucking stupid!
Ozawa-kun, it's time for your body check-up.
Good morning, doctor!
How old are you?
Undress, then lie down.
Madame, what are you doing?
I am just checking the reflex of your nipple, it's normal.
Now I've to check your willy to see if it's to the left or the right.
What do you see that I'm doing?
Your eyes have a defect.
You are hallucinating...
Madame, what are you doing?
I'm so scared!
You've grown well, it's longer than the tape measure.
Ozawa-kun, what you are going to see and do, they are all hallucinations.
Madame, it feels great...
Let's come together!
Thank you very much, Madame!
Ok! Well done!
Are you happy?
Do you mind handing me a tissue, it's leaking.
No, I'm obviously Nick Cheung!
You are really Mario!
I love you!
I have the say of which AV actress can work with Mario.
Yes, of course.
It's for you, boss.
"Pervettes in Train The Ultimate Push of Okita's L-cup"
Wait a minute...
These here... which cup are they?
A, B, C, D, E, F,G H, I,J,K,L Wow, that's fucking huge!
You have nowhere to go now, why don't you just give in.
Let me have you first, then you satisfy all the ladies here.
Help, somebody helps me!
I can't just die here.
I have to think, I have to counterattack you with my imagination!
Thank you for your hard work! Thank you!
Cecilia, I thought you wouldn't pick up my call.
Have you received all the handbags that I sent you?
I thought you are still angry with me.
To be honest, I have accepted the reality.
In today's world, money speaks louder than words, you don't have to care about what other people think.
I haven't, the only one that I care about is you.
I have already told you I don't mind!
I have to go now and blow dry my hair.
Let's talk later, bye bye!
Where the hell have you been?
You have taken all my money... and left me with your debts!
Yes, I'm a motherfucker, slap me, hit me!
Now you are so rich, you have created this Mario Ozawa, why didn't you do the same for me?
You don't love me anymore.
I can't stand that you fuck another woman.
I love you all the same even you are not famous.
Prove it then.
Let me dig in.
Sorry! Excuse me!
This dude is really rich!
Catch that fucking bastard, don't let him go!
Yes, he is right next to you!
I am so fucking stupid!
I knew that's a set-up, but I let him bed me once more!
Do you know where he hurts me the most?
Back when I was first sold to Japan, I worked in the Red Light District as a hooker.
A hooker? You?
Giving massages, hand jobs, blowjobs, everything!
I was doing such a great job!
I earned 30,000 yen every 90 minutes.
Later Hiroya fell in love with me, I let him have the whole package, because he was not only my customer but also my lover, so I didn't charge him anything.
That motherfucker has cheated all my money and left me with his debts.
Men are all the same.
If a man says he loves you at the first sight, he is a fucking liar!
But I thought, when you say you don't like me, you actually do.
Do you like me?
I don't like to lie.
Love tires me out!
Hiroya! My love...
Are you okay?
Don't pass out!
Why my legs are not moving, but I'm moving forward?
The beer you just had is a new invention.
It gives you wings!
Don't treat me like a fucking idiot!
You are carrying me on your back.
How can you be so stupid and heavy at the same time.
Yes, that's right. Okay.
Wow, you are so handsome!
Really, which part?
Your side parting, it's great!
May I know what are we shooting today with this outfit?
Today you are Ming the Merciless. I see.
You will be captured by Sailor Moon. Oh, I see...
First raped then killed... Yes.
And then raped again.
Raping over my dead body? That's a great idea.
Who will be Sailor Moon?
Noriko Waiyama. She is a newbie.
Would her agent be...
It's first time for Noriko, Ozawa-san, please look after her.
Come here, Noriko!
Hi, nice to meet you.
I will be in your care.
Her agent seems really fucking stupid.
Just like me!
She is so cute!
You Big Evil...
You've sinned and tainted your hands with innocents' blood...
Please don't rape me, you can kill me, but please don't touch my willy!
It is my weakest point.
But now I'm in your hands, just do whatever you want!
I will humiliate you...
in every way before killing... you.
Noriko, you can't be like that!
It's okay! Wait! Noriko!
Let me handle it!
So sorry! I am really sorry!
I mean no harm.
I know how stressful it is... to make AVs.
I don't really like to do it, and so do you it seems.
You can go!
Is my Japanese that bad?
Do you understand?
I have signed this contract with my agency, they wouldn't let me go.
Don't you worry, I have money.
Ozawa-san, if it's with you, I think I can do it.
But can you do me a favor?
What is it?
Before the shooting, can you go out with me?
If you can make me feel loved, I'm sure I can perform well.
Is tuna okay for you?
Yes, I love it.
Was the dinner alright?
But let's get changed next time, the way we dress is so weird.
Yes, I feel so too.
It must be Shodaiko returning my clothes.
Look, we are both decently dressed, and so tidy.
That means nothing has happened!
Have I ever said that you did?
But you really... caught me off guard.
Hong Kong girlfriend.
Oh, I have to go now, see you tomorrow.
You see, we were just off work, and then she...
I want you to fuck me like those girls you fucked in AVs.
No, I really can't!
I shot 4 scenes today, I am so knackered!
You don't have a choice!
You Big Evil, I won't forgive you!
Even it's just for today, I have to have the entire you.
At this moment, I can deeply feel that how jealousy... can change a woman, and push her that far.
This time is the first ever AV shooting that...
I can feel there is love.
Hi, Cecilia, where are you now?
I am in Japan, just came back from shopping.
The fact that your boyfriend is Mario Ozawa has been exposed, now the Mainland publisher has problem with your image, stops publishing your books, and terminates your projects with them!
"You Have Your Say"
Hello and welcome to "You have your say".
In this episode, we have invited two guests to discuss a very hot topic.
First to my left is... the President of Moral Moral Adjust, a veteran of AV, and also the Honorary President of HK Schizophrenia Association.
He is the well-known "Fat Face Dragon"...
Mr. Fucking Mo!
It's Mr. Frankie Mo!
I beg your pardon. Mr. Fucking Mo.
Another guest of honor is our best-selling romance novelist Miss Cecilia Jik.
What we are going to discuss today, it's the oddity of this Hong Kong man, who went to Japan to be an AV actor, and became popular by sexually humiliated by women.
Mr. Mo, what do you think?
I must deeply condemn this Mario Ozawa, he is unforgiveable and a disgrace to all Hong Kong men!
Do you know...
After watched his AVs, 40% of men has become impotent, 30% could only get it up but not put it back down; and 20% felt guilty... to have an up and down.
What's worse are those special cases, men who spat milk like a baby... right after watching!
It does sound very dangerous! Of course!
What do you think, Miss Jik?
Here we have a tabloid magazine, saying that you are the girlfriend of Mario Ozawa.
Here, I have to make a declaration:
There is nothing between Mario Ozawa and me now.
What he does is shameful, that's why I cut ties with him.
I despise him!
We now have a viewer calling in to express his opinions.
Here, the line is put through, please go ahead.
Miss To, Can you tell Miss Jik, that everyone here can say what she just said...
But you can't!
Wow! Mario Ozawa!
Look everyone, either from your TV or with us here!
It's Mario Ozawa! He's here in the studio!
Wow, I suddenly feel like to spit some milk!
I am begging you! Stop hurting me!
That's right, or may be just a little...
Who told me... that money speaks louder than words, and I don't need to care about... what others say if I'm rich?
But do you know what you did has cost me a fortune?
I have lost the multi-billion market in the Mainland!
Oh I see. That's the reason why we broke up.
Thanks a lot, I got it...
I don't have a market in Mainland either, am I dying?
Go fuck yourself!
Wow, it's getting really exciting!
Just now Miss Jik and Mr. Ozawa have both given their words.
Mr. Mo, you have just witnessed this epic moment, which side would you take?
I feel a bit sad.
Haruki Murakami once said, if he is caught in between a high wall and an egg, he will definitely choose the egg.
As a man... if I'm caught in between a pair of high heels... and a pair of balls, I will definitely choose the balls.
Unfortunately, it seems that his balls have been cracked, poor thing...
This kick from Cecilia... has put me in hospital for a few days.
Even though the doctor said my dick is fine, I have decided... to quit the AV world.
I want to say...
I don't want to be Mario Ozawa anymore.
I think Ozawa should retire, and goes to a place that no one would know him!
Where can you find a place that no one knows you?
I have just sold your AVs to South America and Eastern Europe, Unless you go to Africa.
Can you not be like that?
Haven't you already made so much money with my body?
I don't care, just give back my share after your commission.
I have to go.
Have you ever thought about me?
We have signed so many contracts, I have to pay them back!
Dada Chan did the same, what's the big deal?
No matter you give me back my share or not, I really have to go. Please...
These are all yours!
Don't ever come back, and enjoy your life.
What about you?
I've thought about it, I don't want you to do it unhappily.
Good evening, Hatoyama-san.
You still have some unpaid debts!
I don't fucking understand you.
If I don't see money in two days, I'll make you a cripple!
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Do I not look okay?
Go now, goodbye!
What do you fucking want now?
Take you to the hospital, then give the money back, okay?
I, Mario Ozawa, am back to business!
Are you dying?
Where is the nearest hospital?
Let's go to the Princess Magaret Hospital.
Oh, no... no...
Wait a minute, are you not feeling well?
Your accent is weird.
Are you Chinese as well?
Yes, I'm half Fujian Chinese, 1/4 Japanese, and 1/4 Russian.
Oh, Fujian, so you are from Mainland!
Yes, and... my mouth is stiff from all this blowing, why your willy is still so soft?
Mario is impotent now...
get those "Juice-up Boys" ready.
Mario is impotent now, everyone stands by.
Hey, you mainland girl, don't bad-mouth me!
I, Mario Ozawa, am the so-called...
Maybe the problem is yours?
Me? What's my problem?
Maybe your body has a problem?
What's wrong with my body?
If my body isn't great, how can I set foot... in the Japanese AV world as a Chinese?
You are all wrapped up, how can I see?
I bet your front is as flat as your back!
My grandma is Russian, I have a European body!
Yea, a 3 years old European?
I can tell that... you won't be convinced unless I show you what I have!
Let me show you!
Wow, such huge tits!
So, is it my problem, or yours?
Ok, that's obviously me.
I am so sorry!
Well, don't worry, life is filled With... ups and downs.
When I first started this AV career, I had no orgasms, but I walked through this period of dryness all the same.
Don't you worry, tomorrow is gonna be better!
Thank you very much!
Keep it UP!
Where is the double? Come here quick!
This one is impotent, it's wasting my time!
Are you really impotent?
Don't worry, it's not a problem, it's a fucking big trouble!
Today's AV Headline!
According to informed sources, after the incident with his-ex, Even Mario is physically fine, he has become mentally impotent.
Now all his AVs close-ups has to be done by doubles.
If the rumors is true, it is really worrying.
But bad luck can always turn worse.
Recently there is an aspiring AV actor, who is regarded as Mario's ultimate enemy.
He is Naoki Nagasaki, the soul healing beau.
Now let's see his interview...
Hello everyone, I'm Naoki Nagasaki.
Making female audience happy... is my greatest happiness.
There is a saying about you stealing the style of Mario Ozawa, What do you think?
Mario Ozawa, well... since we are both from Hong Kong, I now challenge you.
We compete on the sales of our next AV.
The one that loses... has to acknowledge... the other is "the King of AV"!
Do you accept my challenge?
Naoki Nagasaki is so handsome!
Naoki Nagasaki is really amazing!
His new AV "Rape the Undead"... has already beaten Mario's.
Now let's look into the footage of this splendid AV.
"Naoki Nagasaki's touching AV debut Rape the Undead"
We said that... we would be together forever, how can you be so cruel... and just go like this?
Without you, Well...
I don't believe in love, and I can't love anymore.
Yes... thank you for coming.
Haruko's death is an accident, please don't blame yourself.
Well... if I didn't smoke... while taking her to pee, and loosened the leash, she wouldn't be crashed by a lorry... with wheels this fucking big!
I love men that are sentimental.
Just his tears have melted me down.
NaokL you can cry on my shoulder. Please don't...
If you get out from this door, then Haruko will disappear forever!
If you want to get her back, undress now!
Take your clothes off, quick!
Undress from head to toe!
Take off your pants!
Take off your underpants!
Take off your socks!
Why do you look like this?
Show me your nipples!
I'd rather be run over by this fucking big wheel, and you are the one being molested by these three! Haruko!
"My life, is like those petals blown by this gale,"
"frail, and falling."
Ok! I will take the challenge!
No fucking way.
You dick is fucking limp!
I have to do it no matter what.
I have to do something... fucking unforgettable!
Why don't you go fuck the security guard outside?
I think of someone suddenly.
With this person, everything will be fine!
I will find this person for you!
It wouldn't be the security guard, would it?
This woman was the AV goddess in my adolescence.
When I was young, I have jerked off for her... thousands of times.
She enlightened me in sex... and was the pin-up of so many other boys in Hong Kong...
Ladies and gentlemen...
The condition of Ozawa-san, I have got it.
How long do you need then?
Long enough to make a tea.
Men's sexual excitement... actually comes from their brain, rather than their bottom half.
If there is a problem, the best way to solve... is to look into his memories.
To find out what actually made him hard in his adolescence, in order to provoke an erection again.
I feel so bad!
Are you alright?
Ozawa-san, you have to hang in there, the doctor is coming!
I feel really bad!
Your heartbeat is very strange.
Are you okay?
What's going on?
Are you okay?
My chest is in pain!
Can you rub some oil on it?
Please rub some oil, especially on my nipples!
I'm sorry, even oil won't help in your case.
You have to hang in there!
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
I have brought his cock back into life, but in order to have it bigger, stronger and harder, you have to seek a more experienced master.
Hello? Where are you now?
Why do you have me to come to this warehouse?
I think that you should get back up from where you fell.
Your ex is from Hong Kong, that's why I've specially sent you... this Hong Kong No.1 hooker to help you.
Even the Golden Chicken offers a takeaway to Japan?
Hi, boss, I'm Kam.
I have always wanted to open the international market, and you have made my dream comes true today!
Thank you very much! Nice to meet you!
Miss Hatoyama has already told me everything about you.
Don't worry, I never miss.
Hong Kong customers always enjoy my company.
I can assure that you can...
shoot through the ozone layer.
I am so happy to be here, it's my first business trip!
I am really happy!
Thank you very much!
Let's start then, boss?
Do you want a girlfriend's touch?
My condition is caused by my ex, I hate her.
Just by looking I know he had a very miserable past.
Let me have a talk with him!
I'm afraid I have to use some ice and fire!
Wow, do you really have to use such lethal weapons on me?
Difficult times call for harsh measures, I learnt this from Andy Lau.
Fuck you, Andy Lau, it's all your fault.
It's getting so hot.
Why are you still hard and haven't shot yet?
I have no choice... but to go for turbocharging and top-spinning!
The Golden Chicken is famous for a reason!
Now you have shot through to the Galaxy.
With the power you have now, you can take whatever challenges that come your way.
Remember, you are a Hong Konger, and the core value of we Hong Kongers is... no matter how hard is the circumstance, we have to be...
King of AV Battle The live show of the " King of AV Battle" between...
Mario Ozawa and Naoki Nagasaki, the two most popular AV actors, has now began!
Mario Ozawa, today I will defeat you in front of everyone.
If you lose, you will have to kneel down... in front of all the audience, and acknowledge my position as the true King of AV.
Listen, you fucking Louis Koo of Jiangmen, I haven't even sued you for stealing my signature style.
You will see, today I have to show everyone in Japan, who is the cutest.
Today's victory is decided by... the two AV actors' new releases, which hit the stores today.
For the sake of the professional legitimacy, we have invited their master, the Super AV actor...
Mr. Taka Kato to be our judge!
Master Taka Kato, what do you think about this battle?
They are both my beloved pupils.
One is like my left fingers, the other is the right.
It's like my left and right fingers are fighting to each other.
The two contestants have things to say again.
Oh, you think you are unbeatable?
Great, let's raise the bet, whoever loses today has to suck... our master Kato-saws...
You Nick Cheung lookalike, it's just sucking, no big deal!
Even a 30 years old fish chopping board... would have some smell, and now we are talking about...
His fingers are so yours!
I already have the two AVs with me.
Great, let's see!
"The Horny Spirits"
This one is so ugly!
This one is actually cute!
Mister, we would like to... suck the essence out of your dick, so as to wet our souls, and get on to another world.
Hey, your nipple slips!
Power, Energy, Harmony, Healing, Intuition, Awareness, Dimension, Creation,
See you in the next life!
He is so amazing, it's really surprising!
Naoki has put Ying and Yang together, his touch with the underworld... has pushed AV up to a philosophical level!
Our Naoki is a sure win.
Why don't you just give up now?
I am really worried now, but... fuck you anyway!
With the comment of Master Kato, the sales of Naoki's The Horny Spirits is shooting up high.
I can already picture your face when... you are sucking the Goldfingers of Kato-san, and that's really cute!
So what kind of topic has Mario chosen, and can he really beat Naoki?
Master Kato, let's watch it now!
"Superman Ozawa Saving the Earth"
The Earth is like an innocent girl in the Universe, it has always been molested by aliens and monsters.
Usually, it happens only once a week, as the series of Superman is only broadcasted once a week.
This time is the worst, as there are so many monsters.
Too many of them.
At this moment, these useless Earth Defenders, who've never defeated any monsters, appear!
Well, the monsters have lost their minds!
These scumbags only irritate the monsters every time, it's even a waste time to scold them!
I've just been told... all our troops've been defeated by the monsters!
Oh no, we can't hold this any longer...
Superman Ozawa, the world's peace is in your hands!
Which episode isn't like that?
Why do you repeat every time?
You fucking monsters, why are you here on earth?
What a stupid question!
To destroy the earth, and most importantly...shopping!
What a bastard! Let me kill you first.
Invading the earth just for shopping?
You big evil!
Let me tear off your ears!
Oh why are you here?
I make an appearance to support you!
Why do you wear a wig?
I've actually been wearing it all this time.
What the fuck! You lie to me?
Superman Ozawa takes a move, and throws Monster Hatoyama so far...
You are not human either, why you don't let us destroy?
The monsters start to pounce on and... gang bully Superman Ozawa and attack Superman Ozawa.
Oh no, they are actually molesting him.
These monsters are real perverts, surfing their hands on Superman Ozawa.
Look, they are touching his nipples!
Wow, now's his balls!
Fuck you all, my mask!
Take my beam...
Beam! Beam! Beam!
Superman Ozawa, let me ask you, what's so great about the Earth that you want to protect?
I don't know!
I'm a Superman, protecting the Earth is my job!
Don't chitchat anymore, kill him now!
Superman Ozawa, you have fucked up our Earth!
Ah! You fucking bastard! I'm fed up with you!
All you do is talk, why don't you come down and fight?
You motherfucker! Just staying up high!
Why are you saying?
Wait a minute, actually "fuck" will do!
The real key to conquer women... is actually romance and care, and the real G-spot... is a woman's heart, not down there.
Superman Ozawa, you've got my total respect!
Mario's AV has not only got out of the Earth, it has reached the end of the Universe, he also expressed the human's will of living in harmony... or even reproduce with aliens.
This is one level higher than Naoki's.
Monsters will no longer pose threat to human, the more they come, the more we fuck.
Mario's AV... has driven out our fear for monsters in all these years.
Here comes the official sales record.
Mario Ozawa's AV is ranked No.1 in sales.
It's a crushing defeat for Naoki Nagasaki!
I officially declare that, in this King of AV Battle, the winner is...
Enough crying. Come down quick and kneel down before me!
Kneel down please!
Get down now!
Aren't you serious?
It's just for a TV programme, why are you so serious?
Such an idiot!
Wow, you fucking liar!
The humiliation I've suffered today, you will have to pay me back in a 100 times in the future!
Ah! We won!
Are you happy now?
By the way... have you ever watched my AVs and touched yourself?
No, of course not!
Why you seem so nervous?
Hell no, I don't!
Are you a woman?
Here, one each, they have all been signed!
From now on, we only sell originals here!
I was going to shut this shop down this month, thanks to this idiot, he is taking over.
That's called being persistent.
Someone said to me once, we Hong Kongers, no matter how hard is the circumstance, we have to be HARDER!
If we keep being tough and hard, no one can beat us!
My love... My love... My love...
Now you are an "impressionism AV Actor"!
Too much hand movements...
What are your hands doing?
Just can't stand it... Can't stand it...
Chotto Ma Te Yo Love...
Had he shot, a rubber band would be added on his wrist.
Since he hasn't shot yet, he doesn't have any now.
Hello, I'm a fortune teller from China, nicknamed "Get-It-All-Wrong" fortune teller.
My real name is Chan Ho-Sun, you can call me Peter.
Mr. Peter ain't I handsome?
Mr. Ozawa, please punish me physically!
What is this?
What is happening?
Your daughter is so fucked up!
Grabbing my hand to squeeze her boob, she's crossed the line!
She's crossed the line? What about me?
Wow! What do you want? Wow!
Thank you everyone!
Wow, so thick!