Hodja fra Pjort (2018) Script

[GONGS SOUNDING]

Hey.

Welcome. Hi.

Hi, Hodja.

Madam, I have some delicious oil for you.

KID: Wow.

Wow. That's amazing.

MAN: All the best quality...

WOMAN: Come see the hand-woven carpets.

...home-grown dates.

WOMAN 2: Fresh figs.

MAN: Home-grown dates, fresh figs.

[HAWKERS CALLING INDISTINCTLY]

...ladies and gentlemen.

MAN: This way.

[WOMEN GIGGLING]

BOY: Last one's a rotten egg.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

[PANTING]

Some bread, sir?

[GOAT BLEATING]

[GROANS]

Huh?

[BLEATS]

[GROANING]

I'm still half asleep, Raya.

You should have seen where I was in my dream.

It was the most amazing city, filled with people and, well, they were so kind.

They offered me all sorts of things.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Those smells.

It was such an amazing atmosphere.

Oh, all the world is so big, Raya.

It reaches all the way to the blue mountains.

And behind the blue mountains is even more world.

And behind them, you can see even more.

[SIGHS] That really is quite a lot of world, Raya, that we've never seen.

Wouldn't it be cool to go on an adventure together, Raya?

You and me... [BLEATING]

...the fantastic duo.

Conquering the world. Me and goat, forever.

[BLEATING]

Ugh.

Oh, Raya. Why didn't you say something?

Now we're late for milking time.

Ugh, Mom will go crazy.

Come on.

Hurry. [BLEATING]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]


[SCREAMS]

Be careful, son.

[BLEATS]

You can't barge into me like that when I'm busy working.

But you're sitting in a bad spot there, Aram.

[BLEATS]

Can't you sit somewhere that's not in front of the gate?

And how often have I told you to come home on time and before it gets dark, Hodja?

The poor animal's about to explode.

[RAYA BLEATING] MOTHER: There, there, Raya.

Here.

Hodja, it's time you learnt to sew.

But...

I don't think I can do it.

Ah, here.

You'll soon learn how.

[SNICKERS]

[GROANS] The thread is too long, Dad.

Or maybe my T-Rex arms are too short.

[GROWLING]

Come on, boys. The date soup is served.

FATHER: Mmm, date soup.

[EXCLAIMS]

[BLEATING]

MOTHER: Eat it up now.

[SIGHS]

How often do I have to tell you that goats eat up on the mountain where they serve grass?

Do you think I can afford to roll out the white table cloth for a goat?

It's not bank notes I'm sewing.

But Dad, Raya's not just any goat.

Raya's my sister.

Your sister? What nonsense is that?

If that goat's your sister, your mother is...

His mother is a what now?

[CHUCKLES] Well, if it's a problem, you could just be completely free of us kids.

Because Raya and I are ready to go out into the big wide world.

Isn't that right, Raya?

[SIGHS] [RAYA BLEATS]

Hodja, there's nothing for you out there.

Mixing country folk with the fine city folk, it's of no use.

It's like mixing dates with shawarmas.

It simply doesn't work.

I just want to see the world.

[SIGHS]

You're not going to see any world, Hodja.

You must stay here and concentrate on your sewing so you can be a tailor, just like your father.

No, I will not.

Oh, yes you will.

No. Yes.

No. Yes.

No! Yes.

No! Careful.

No! No! Yes!

[GROANS] You must!

Hmm?

(SIGHING CONTENTEDLY)

Aram, listen.

The boy has ambitions.

I don't want to discuss this any further.

You stay here and the become a tailor's apprentice. End of.

You can forget about the tailoring, okay?

I don't wanna do it.

And besides, I can't.

I don't have time to become a tailor's apprentice.

I have to take care of Raya. [BLEATS]

But, if there was someone else who could be goatherd, maybe then I might have the time.

Well, I'm off to bed.

Come on, Raya. [RAYA BLEATS]

Hmm.

I'm sure he really would like to be a tailor, but he's sort of right.

That goat need to be cared for.

[MOTHER HUMMING]

Jamila, my darling.

Wouldn't you like to take care of Raya for awhile?

Seeing how you love animals.

You can forget that.

I have enough work caring for one old goat.

[EL FAZA COUGHING]

I'll just go over and return El Faza's kaftan.

[STAMMERING]

Assalamu Alaikum, Mr. Faza.

Assalamu Alaikum, sir.

What a lovely kaftan.

Well, uh, it's actually yours.

Ahh.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, well, yes of course.

Uh, I will [CLEARS THROAT] get your payment.

No, no, no, don't get up.

It's free of charge.

No payment?

That was cheap.

Do you want to trade with something else?

[CHUCKLES] No.

But I can offer to sew all your clothes completely free of charge, if you would care for the goat?

Oh, uh, I understand.

Well, I do not have many customers in the store anymore, so, one more goat, more or less.

Yes, and the boy can go and travel.

Sorry, I couldn't help overhearing your talk.

Well, yes, yes, I mean, we are neighbors, so...

[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Oh, no.

We've talked about all that, him and I.

And I've decided.

He is going to be his father's apprentice tailor.

All that nonsense about wanting to see the world, he'll forget about that.

Well, I'm not too sure about that.

Good evening.

And thanks for helping with the goat.

We'll see.

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

Huh? Uh-oh.

[BELLS CHIMING]

[COUGHING]

I have to help that boy.

[CLEARS THROAT] So, he can fulfill his wish.

If only I could.

[INSECTS TRILLING]

[COCK CROWING]

[SNORING]

Good morning, son.

Rise and shine.

Today is the big day.

[YAWNING]

Big day?

Yes. You are officially a tailor's apprentice.

El Faza has offered to take care of the goat.

Later, you can take over your father's business.

And now that I have an apprentice, I can call myself a master tailor.

What do you say?

You're not listening to anything I say, Dad.

I wanna go on an adventure and see the world.

Hodja, the big wide world is not a nice place.

So there. How would you know?

Have you seen it? I have... not. But I've read...

Dad. I don't want to be a tailor.

Ugh. Come on, Raya.

[RAYA BLEATS]

[SIGHS]

[BLEATING]

Ugh.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, Raya. [CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

What would I do without you?

HODJA: Who's the cutest goat in the world?

Aww.

You're the cutest goat in the world. [CLEARS THROAT]

What's up, my boy?

Did someone eat your baklava?

No.

It's my dad. He won't let me travel.

He's always so careful.

I just wanna see the world.

But I don't know how.

You don't?

I can't walk to the end of the world.

So unless I learn to grow wheels or a pair of wings, I can forget all about it.

Ah, maybe I can help you.

Come with me, my boy.

Huh?

[RAYA BLEATS]

[CLEARS THROAT] Ahh.

I know it's here somewhere.

EL FAZA: I remember everything except where I put it.

HODJA: Wow.

Oh, let's see.

No, that's not it either.

[SNEEZES]

EL FAZA: Oh, you old fool.

Where did I put it?

[GASPS] [BLEATING]

HODJA: What was that?

Raya, look!

Teprac... erehw era uoy?

It...

It's alive.

Well, that's one way of putting it.

The important thing is it can fly.

It's a flying carpet?

Whoa!

Can I try it?

You can't just try it, my boy.

You can borrow it.

Borrow the carpet?

Yes, exactly.

You can borrow the carpet, Hodja, if you could...

No.

I cannot ask you that.

Please, please, anything.

It might be too dangerous.

"Dangerous"? Just ask, you got it.

Okay.

Will you fly to Petto and try to find my Diamond?

Eh, Petto?

Mmm-hmm. Diamond?

Uh, you lost me there a little bit.

Petto is the Sultan City.

It's a wonderful place.

The palace has domes covered in gold.

Unfortunately, I had to escape from there without my Diamond.

Oh, I miss her so terribly.

Eh, "her"?

Yes.

Uh, sorry, uh...

That's my granddaughter.

A wonderful little girl.

I had to flee without her.

The Sultan was after me.

He wanted to throw me to the crocodiles.

Crocodiles?

Why?

He wanted to steal my carpet.

He was completely obsessed with the idea of flying.

The easiest way was to get rid of me.

What a total jerk!

I tried many times to retrieve my Diamond, but no luck.

Now I'm too old to travel.

But you are so young and healthy.

You could do it.

Will you do it for me?

Will you?

Would I do it? Would I do it?

Of course, I would.

I'm off to see the world!

I'm off to see the world!

And I'm gonna see the world from a flying carpet.

[EL FAZA LAUGHING]

But, it might get dangerous.

You must promise me to take good care of yourself.

I promise.

But...

How do you control the carpet?

It takes a little practice, you know, because the carpet has its very own personality.

You can't just walk all over it.

But, how then?

You...

You just have to do everything backwards.

Backwards? Yes, exactly.

Backwards.

You're a smart kid.

Yeah, come on.

Come with me, Raya.

[BLEATING]

It's okay. I'll manage it.

[CHUCKLES] That's good, my boy.

I trust you!

Hello there, Mom. I'm back. Ah, Hodja.

Hello. Hi, Dad.

So, are you ready?

Sure, I'm ready.

I'm ready to go to Petto.

The city of the Sultan.

To Petto? Yes.

How exciting.

It's a thousand miles away, you know.

And how exactly did you plan to get there?

Well, I'm just gonna fly.

That's how.

Fly? [CHUCKLES]

Hear that, Jamila? Now the boy really has lost his falafels.

Let's just hear what he has to say.

You see, I was just... No, no. Don't say anything.

Let me guess.

You have sewn a hot air balloon.

Oh, no, wait. You can't sew.

No. You've trained a bunch of bats.

Hmm, better yet, an eagle. Yes, that's better.

You have trained an eagle that has now become quite tame and has promised to fly you to Petto while juggling oranges and singing the national anthem.

Well, close, Dad.

I'm going on a flying carpet.

A flying carpet?

[CHUCKLES] Poor me.

My only son has gone completely crazy.

Totally cuckoo. Round the bend. Soft in the shawarma.

Flipped his fez. Lights on, nobody's home.

Just stop it, Aram.

Oh, you're part of it too.

Oh, I see.

Oh yes. Okay, now that my whole family has screws loose, I won't stand in the way.

No. Okay.

If you can prove that you can fly that rug... Mmm-hmm.

As far as I'm concerned, you can fly off wherever you want to.

Yeah, even the moon. [CHUCKLES]

But, if anything doesn't take off, you're gonna be a tailor's apprentice.

Is that a deal? It's a deal.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. Which is the front and which is the back of a carpet?

Both ends look the same.

It's not easy to turn it backwards.

Mmm, l-l-let's give this end a shot.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[SCOFFS]

Fly, carpet.

[FATHER LAUGHING]

Fly, carpet.

Fly, carpet.

Fly.

[FATHER LAUGHING]

Fly, carpet.

Oh, fly already.

[GROANS] What's wrong with you?

HODJA: Fly.

[HODJA GROANS] [FATHER LAUGHING]

Oh, it's not working!

What did El Faza mean by backwards?

Should the carpet be reversed?

HODJA: Or... Oh, what's happening?

[HODJA STRUGGLING]

Raya, what're you doing?

You're trying to tell me something?

You're saying...

[RAYA BLEATING]

Bleat backwards?

And you're walking backwards.

You, eh...

[RAYA CONTINUES TO BLEAT] HODJA: Hmm.

Oh, you want me to talk backwards.

I'll try talking backwards. That's a good idea.

A really good idea, Raya.

So, "fly carpet" becomes, becomes... "Fly carpet" becomes...

Ylf, teprac!

Huh?

Oh, excuse me.

Excuse me, sweet carpet.

I was being a little too aggressive.

I'll try again.

Ylf, teprac.

[GASPS]

[BOTH GASPING]

It worked! It worked!

Raya, you're a genius.

Look, El Faza, I've mastered it.

I'm the champion in backward speaking. [EL FAZA LAUGHING]

That's great, Hodja.

But how do I find Petto?

[STAMMERS] Well...

You'll just have to, um... Oh, uh, let the carpet find the way, and fly to the sun.

I'll find your Diamond. I promise.

That's good, my boy.

Just trust the carpet.

[GASPS]

[HODJA LAUGHING]

Bye, Dad.

I'm gonna go to Petto.

Uh...

But...

Goodbye, son.

Goodbye, Mom.

Do you really wanna go?

Don't worry. I'll be back.

Well, he has earned the right to go.

But...

[SIGHS] Oh.

MOTHER: Take care now, my darling.

[BLEATS] [CHUCKLES]

And what about you, Raya?

Are you ready?

So, now, everybody, ready for departure!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

[RAYA BLEATING] [HODJA LAUGHING]

Look, Raya.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Oh!

[SCREAMING]

[LIGHTNING CRACKING]

[HODJA SCREAMS]

[RAYA BLEATING]

[STOMACH RUMBLING]

[GROANS]

Whoa!

[HODJA GROANING]

[CHUCKLES]

HODJA: Enjoy!

[SIGHS]

Oh.

[CAMELS GRUNTING]

Hey!

[SIGHS]

[GASPS]

[HODJA CHUCKLES]

[HODJA GASPING]

Wow!

Domes of gold!

Wow!

HODJA: Oh, that must be Petto.

[SEAGULLS CAWING]

[LAUGHING]

Wow.

[RAYA BLEATING]

Come on, Raya.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Wow.

It's exactly like in my dream, Raya.

[RAYA BLEATS]

What're you looking at?

Huh.

Watch where you're going.

WOMAN: Get out of here, little boy.

[GROANS] Get out of here.

It's exactly like in my dream but just completely different.

[RAYA BLEATS]

MAN: Stop! Thief!

Huh?

[PANTING]

MAN: Get back here.

PIGEON SALESMAN: Oh, come on, move!

I gotta get to the palace with the Sultan's pigeons.

If he doesn't get his pigeon tongues tonight, then I will definitely be crocodile food.

Oh, hello.

Hello, pretty birds.

Hey. What're you doing, kid? Huh?

No. I just wanted to say hi to the pigeons.

"Just wanted to say hi to the pigeons"?

No.

You wanted to steal as many as you could and then call on all your dirty, hungry street friends, right?

Have a regular feast at the Sultan's expense.

Huh?

Oh, would we? Ha!

I see. So, you admit it.

Well, then it's you that'll be fed to the crocodiles.

Guard, I've caught a thief!

Get over here! Quickly!

But I... But I...

Typical. No one around when you want one.

Whoa! Look at that.

You know what, you might just be able to save yourself by giving me that carpet there.

Yeah, everything's under control.

It was just a misunderstanding.

Just the very thing my wife has been looking for.

Luckily for you, my friend, you're gonna get off lightly.

No, no, no, let it go.

Let it go. It's not my carpet.

Ah, so you stole that too.

Well, game over, buddy, let go of the carpet.

No, no, no, I've not stolen anything.

I-I-I've borrowed it. I borrowed it so I could fly here.

Huh? Fly?

[LAUGHING]

If that's a flying carpet, you know what you should do?

Give it to the Sultan.

He'll make you the General of the entire army.

[LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]

Follow me. Huh?

[CONTINUES LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

What were you thinking?

You do not put your hands near the Sultan's pigeons.

How stupid can you be?

Are you trying to lose your hands?

Use your head.

Don't you know it's a death penalty for touching the Sultan's pigeons, country bumpkin?

Huh... Eh, no!

Okay. So you're not from the city.

No. I come from a small village called Pjort, far away from here.

But... like how? "How"?

I flew here on my carpet.

Flew? Yeah.

[CHUCKLES] Ding dong. Is there anyone home?

[LAUGHS] Cuckoo factory.

Listen, if that's a flying carpet, then this is a pyramid.

Hmm, well then it must hurt to sit down.

Ha-ha. You're cheeky.

You owe me something.

I do?

Yes, you do.

Ugh. I saved your life, you nitwit.

But I thought you wanted to help me.

Help? Please.

Do I look like the ambassador for homeless children?

Here, it's nothing for nothing.

Huh. Give me that old rug. Whoa!

No, no, I can't. It's not mine. MAN: Yeah, yeah.

[BOTH GASPS] -I saw the little girl thief over there.

Quick, this way. GUARD: Now we have her.

They ran that way, huh?

GUARD 2: Where'd they go?

[BOTH PANTING]

In here.

You live here?

Yeah. Keep going.

What's your name, by the way? Hodja.

Mine's Emerald. HODJA: Nice to meet you.

And my goat's called Raya.

[EMERALD CHUCKLES] Cute goat.

Ouch! Hey.

What's up? Huh?

Oh.

Where do you think you're at?

The Rat goes nuts if we bring strangers home.

[DOOR CREAKING]

[THE RAT COUGHING]

Hide him. The Rat is coming.

Go.

[CHUCKLES]

[GASPS]

Well, what has my little guinea fowl brought me today?

Oh, do my eyes deceive me?

Finally, I'm rich.

Rich!

[GASPS]

[GROWLING]

[KID GASPS]

[SNIFFS]

[GASPS] Stale bread?

Aww, my own little golden sparrow.

You know I love stale bread.

Okay, so let me get this right.

You children seem to believe that shelter is free, am I right?

That you are poor street urchins who are entitled to a home.

[CHUCKLES] But you're wrong.

That ship sailed when your parents threw you into the trash.

So if you don't hurry up and find out where your talents lie, then I know a gutter with your name on it.

Ah!

That's better. Shall we continue the progress, young lady?

May one be permitted to ask what delicacies you hide behind your back?

Or is it a secret?

[CHUCKLES EVILLY]

Let's have a little look-see, shall we?

I'll teach you never to... Stop!

Well, what have we here?

The Prince and his mighty...

Goat.

[LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY]

Ooh, Salaam.

What nice pearly whites.

So, is there more to see here?

In that case, I think Your Highness should clear off back to his castle.

Unless you wanna see how I turn this bag of bones here into a saddlebag.

I got milk.

Delicious goat's milk.

For everybody.

THE RAT: Mmm.

Not bad.

Not bad.

But I don't expect your gallant milkman is the only thing you'll present me with today, little dove.

Hang on.

Huh?

Wait. No, no, no, that's mine.

A carpet. Yes.

Now the menu is complete.

An old, dusty carpet as dessert.

How delicious.

Could one be so fortunate as to have a dirty, stinking sock as a garnish?

And keep it down.

I wanna enjoy my mutton in peace.

You said it wasn't yours.

Yes, I know.

But it's one I borrowed.

And it's definitely not yours.

So, you borrowed a flying carpet?

Hmm. HODJA: Yeah.

EMERALD: From whom? The Caliph of Baghdad?

I don't care if you believe me.

Uh, you got your milk and I don't owe you anymore.

You've never tasted hunger, have you?

What would you know about that?

Have you?

No.

Yeah, well, we have.

But why? There's lots of food everywhere.

Why would you starve?

I'll tell you why. Because that fat lump of a sultan eats everything, so we're left with nothing.

But why he can't just share if he has so much?

Ha! Him? Share?

No. Never.

He just wants more and more.

You don't get fat on air alone.

Enough! I want quiet!

[SIGHS]

Goodnight.

I better get going. There's something I have to find.

I hope we meet again. Probably, country bumpkin.

You take care. Yeah.

Sure.

[YAWNS]

We better postpone our search till tomorrow.

Okay, Raya?

But, first, let's find a better place to sleep than this.

Hmm, what do you say we take the penthouse, okay?

As Price and his mighty goat.

Right, Raya?

Hmm?

Ylf, teprac.

[GASPS]

Ylf, teprac?

Te-Teprac, ylf?

[OWL HOOTING]

[YAWNS] Goodnight, Raya.

[RAYA BLEATS]

Goodnight, carpet.

Oh, no.

I mean, "Doogthgin, teprac."

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[SEAGULLS CAWING]

[COCK CROWING]

Oh, no. Oh, no. Raya.

Where's the carpet?

It must be that Emerald who's taken it.

[GROANS] She already took it at that house and gave it to that nasty man.

Come on, Raya.

GUARD: Hey, buddy, you can't just barge into the Sultan's palace.

You think we were born yesterday?

No, n-no. But, but...

But what?

I hope I don't flatter myself to say that I have something here that our all-loving father, the brother of the moon and the sun, our great father, our most righteous, all powerful and...

Shut up and cut to the chase.

I've something here our honorable Sultan has desired for a very long time.

And what would that be?

His Greatness has everything.

[CHUCKLES] Oh yeah.

A moth-eaten old carpet.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, he doesn't have one of them.

You're right there, buddy.

How funny.

Y-You're a very funny man.

Yes.

And very handsome too.

Spare us the waffle, old timer.

And while you're at it, you can take your moldy old rag and crawl back into the hole you crawled out of.

What? But, but, but, but, it can fly.

Fly? [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] You hear that? Get out of here.

The gentleman may not be aware that the one who brings the flying carpet to our dearly beloved Sultan, will become the new General of the entire army.

Such a carpet is the Sultan's highest wish.

Well, uh, uh...

You know, the Sultan really wants a flying carpet.

It's like number one on his wish list.

Yeah, of course I know that.

So, if, if it really is a flying carpet, and the Sultan hears that we prevented it from entering, then we'll be up the creek.

Uh, no, I think we'll be thrown to the crocodiles.

But up a creek sounds like much more fun.

You idiot!

Let's just let him in.

And if the carpet doesn't fly, he's the one who gets to swim with the crocodiles, not us. [LAUGHS]

Okay.

Right this way, sir. Right this way, sir.

Gentlemen.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

Not doing so well seeing the big world, Raya.

Maybe my dad was right.

[BLEATS]

I know he can be a bit strict, but I miss him anyway.

And now I can't go home because I've lost the carpet.

And I haven't found Diamond either.

I need to find Emerald if I'm to find the carpet.

But I'll probably never see her again.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Do you happen to know a girl called Emerald?

She's like, she has black hair.

Oh, well, I know about 30 black-haired girls called Emerald.

So, good luck with that.

MAN: Stop! Thief!

Emerald.

[GRUNTS]

Stop!

Thief? Thief. Yeah, she sure is.

HODJA: I know you took it.

GUARD: Come back here.

Let's go.

[PANTING]

Now.

Whee!

[STRUGGLING]

[CRASHING]

GUARD: Come on, you idiot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ugh, not again.

MAN: They'll never catch them anyway.

Whoa, watch out, kid.

Aha!

Up here, Raya.

Hmm.

[CAMELS GRUNTING]

[CAMELS FLATULATING]

[GUARD UNCOMFORTABLY MOANING]

Here you go.

[DONKEY BRAYING]

Quick. Grab my hand.

[SIGHS]

Oh, she's gone again.

Ugh, things move really fast in the big city.

Right, Raya?

[BLEATS]

What's up, bumpkin? [HODJA GASPS]

Give me back my carpet.

Do I look like someone who carries carpets around?

Do you think I selll rugs?

Now what use would I have for an old carpet?

You stole it. You're a thief.

[GRUNTS] Well, say that again and I'll turn your mug into a durum roll.

I'm not a thief.

I borrow from those who have too much. Get it?

And that's just how it is.

So I did not steal your stupid old carpet.

Have fun.

But...

I'm sorry. [SCOFFS]

I didn't mean it like that.

It's just that... "It's just that," what?

That somebody has stolen it and you're one of the few who know it's a flying carpet.

Uh, I don't really know that.

It's just something you claim.

I haven't seen it take off.

Until I see that, it's just an old rag to me.

Huh?

Ow!

Will you please help me?

Me? Help you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Why is that so weird?

Well, no one's ever asked me that before.

No one? But...

Will you?

Hmm, yes.

I'd be happy to.

I guess you have to try something new sometimes. Yeah.

I can't go home without the carpet and I also need to find Diamond.

A diamond? Of course. Easy-peasy.

I happen to have seven here in my pocket.

What size do you want?

[LAUGHING]

Whoa!

Not that kind of diamond.

I mean, it's a little girl.

A little girl? That's even worse.

Okay, let's try and find the carpet first. Good idea.

I just don't know where to start.

[RAYA BLEATS] Huh?

[CHUCKLES] Smart goat you got there.

Yeah, that's The Rat.

100%.

The Rat?

Soon, I will be General.

SULTAN: More food. Now.

Otherwise you'll all be thrown to the crocodiles.

Yes, that means someone will be sent today.

Oh, oh, that doesn't bode well.

The Sultan's always extra grumpy when he's hungry.

And he's always hungry!

What kind of dried-up little prune of a man is that before me?

I can't eat him.

Oh, such shoddy service.

Ahh!

My favorite dish.

Slow-roast pigeon tongue.

[SLURPING]

[EATING NOISILY]

THE RAT: Highest Sultan, your reverence.

May you and your countless wives live full and blissful lives.

As the sun crosses the sky, and moon shines... [BURPS]

[GRUNTS]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I have been told you have a particular wish, Your Highness, a dream.

I have a dream?

A dream of being able to fly.

Huh?

More. More.

[GULPING]

And I was led to believe that Your Greatness plans to make General, he who brings to you a flying carpet.

That's right.

I believe if you receive a flying carpet, you have to give something in return.

I mean, I'm not unreasonable.

Even though I can do whatever I want.

But, there isn't much buoyancy in that moldy rag.

Remember, I'm a big man.

Yes, I am.

And uh, so now, I think I'll eat my breakfast in peace.

Afterwards, we'll see if that old rag can lift itself off the ground.

Now go away.

My mouth's watering.

Just like my crocodiles.

Just so you know.

[SULTAN CHUCKLES]

More food!

EMERALD: No, Hodja. He is camel dung.

He'll never return the carpet.

Even if we ask nicely?

Ask nicely?

Perhaps it's like that where you come from.

But not here in Petto.

It's everyone for himself.

[POTS CRASHING]

Sorry. That's just how the pita is baked, bumpkin.

But, don't you know anyone who would help?

Uh, there is one lady.

Her name's Gemstone.

She's pretty cool. Maybe she'll help.

I said maybe. I wouldn't put my fingers in the chopping block for it.

That's better than nothing. Whoa.

Let's try.

Sure.

[CHUCKLES]

[RAYA BLEATING]

[POTS CRASHING]

Not far to go. Great.

So, this is where the coppersmiths work.

Wow. Pretty cool, huh?

Yeah.

And this is where Gemstone lives.

Hey, look, there she is.

They also say that His Corpulence, our flabby whale of a Sultan, had his greatest wish come true.

Uh-huh. And what was his wish?

GEMSTONE: Well, our protuberantly rotund ruler has always dreamed of flying ever since he was a little chubby baby sultan.

And now, finally, his dream came true.

Yeah, but how? Come on, tell us.

They say that our hefty, meat-mountain moghul has got his hands on a flying carpet.

[GASPS] A flying carpet?

Yes, the Sultan got it from The Rat, that little tawdry pest.

And the worst thing is that he will be the new General of the army.

No! Yes.

I heard it from the Sultan's own guards.

No!

So it really is a flying carpet.

That's what I said all along.

[GASPS] Hold on to your fez and glasses, a flying carpet!

I must admit, I owe you one, bumpkin.

You are not as stupid as I thought.

Wait, it's not The Rat's carpet.

What? It's Hodja's.

Yes.

It's not entirely mine.

It's half mine.

I borrowed it.

Oh, no.

I've heard that the Sultan is already going to fly the carpet this afternoon.

No, we have to get it back before that.

But that's not possible, Hodja.

But can't we just sneak into the palace and take it?

I'm telling you, it's harder to get into the Sultan's palace than it is to get a camel through one of my earrings.

[SIGHS]

Oh, what are we gonna do?

[SIGHS]

You can't win everytime, bumpkin.

Come on. This one belongs on the minus list.

Sometimes you just have to throw in the towel, or the carpet, in this case.

[SNIFFLES] Yes.

Sometimes.

But it's not gonna be this time.

I promised to come home with that carpet.

And I promised to find Diamond.

And the promises you make, you keep.

Wow, Hodja.

Now you've got nerves of steel.

You know this is not for wimps, right?

Can you spot any wimps here?

Hey, listen to you.

The bumpkin's becoming a hero.

A courageous hero.

[RAYA BLEATS]

Well, we'd better help him then, right, Raya?

[RAYA BLEATING]

You know what? I might be able to help you.

It'll be hard.

I bring food up to the palace.

[SHUSHES] Not so loud.

Now, tea for everybody.

A flying carpet that you have borrowed has been stolen?

I am so unbelievably tired of that overfed Sultan.

He just grabs everything for himself.

Exactly.

We have to get you in there so you can get that carpet back.

Yes, and I know how to do it.

[WHISPERS] But, unfortunately, we can't bring your goat.

'Cause we are going... HODJA: Mm-hmm.

...door where the guards are...

(WHISPERING CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

How about that?

Yes.

We need to leave immediately.

Hmm?

Ooh, nice.

[RAYA BLEATS]

[GROANS]

Bye Raya, see you.

[RAYA BLEATS SADLY] Aw, it will be okay.

He will be back, Raya.

Inshallah.

Good luck.

Ooh.

[GEMSTONE HUMMING]

[BOTH SIGHING]

[BOTH SIGHING]

Ah, the lovely Gemstone.

It's so nice to see you.

Are you bringing some stuff here for our noble Sultan?

Whatever it is, I'd say it's lovely.

[LAUGHING] Thanks. Yes, doesn't it?

Mmm, it does. But, uh, we are gonna have to investigate thoroughly.

[GASPS] You think I have something to hide?

Oh. [CHUCKLES] No.

Yeah, uh, no.

I would never say anything.

[GROANS]

Look, we just have to check your baskets.

Just following orders, you know.

Ooh. Oh, wow. What beautiful melons.

Thanks.

Yeah, I'll just check this one.

Not that there's anything, you know.

[CRUNCH] [YELPS]

Hey, it bit me!

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] You are so funny.

Uh, you probably pricked yourself on a cactus fig.

A big, strong, muscular man like you are, wouldn't even feel that.

No, no, no, it was nothing.

[LAUGHING]

Hey, whenever you're ready, guys.

The Sultan's waiting for his pigeon tongues.

[PIGEONS COOING]

[SIGHS] [GIGGLES]

What were you thinking, Hodja?

It almost went wrong. Why did you bite his finger?

Sorry, but he was tickling me.

[GROANS]

Whoa. What...

Make sure that nobody sees you.

You would like to go home in one piece, right?

Good luck, Hodja. Goodbye, Gemstone.

And thanks. Bye, Gemstone.

We'll see you later, right?

Yes, you will.

Inshallah.

Whoa! Hey, watch out.

[GASPS] Wow!

Come on.

EMERALD: Oh, wow!

[MOANS]

You probably never saw a palace like this before, huh, bumpkin?

No, have you?

[GIGGLES] No, of course not.

They don't exactly have open house on weekends.

But, you are right.

I am a bumpkin.

Well, bumpkin is just something I say, Hodja.

You're okay.

You think so? Yes.

You can't help if you come from back end of nowhere.

It's actually really nice in Pjort.

I have a wonderful mom.

And dad. Oh, lucky you.

I wish I had.

What do you mean? Don't you have a mom and dad?

I don't really have a family.

Well, yes, a grandfather, but...

I don't even know where he lives.

He could sit on a mountain top in Mongolia for all I know.

So, I'll probably never find him.

If we find the carpet, then we could fly home.

And you could stay with me.

When we find the carpet, Hodja.

I would really like that. Great.

And then, we'll go to Mongolia to find your grandfather.

It's a deal. Come on. Let's go steal the carpet back.

Yeah.

[STOMACH RUMBLING]

[BURPS LOUDLY]

I'm finished.

Clean-up time.

Come on. Chop-chop. Um, yes.

Ye-Yes, I'm coming, my dear.

There. Now you're all clean again.

Are you full, my little mouse?

One can never be completely full.

Huh? But I might just make it until it's time for my third lunch.

[STOMACH RUMBLING]

[FLATULATING LOUDLY]

Well, well.

That was really something, sweetie.

Yes, but much better out than in, my little honey pie.

Now, where is that ugly, pruny little rat man with my carpet?

I feel like flying.

Yeah. On my way.

[PANTING]

Here, here I am, Your Highness.

Your, your most...

Oh, no, not all that again.

Why don't you stick a cork in it?

The carpet! The carpet!

Here. There you go, Your Greatness.

Well, don't just stand there.

Move me!

Pull my legs. Do I have to do everything myself?

Fools. Can't you do anything right?

A trip to the crocodiles for... [GRUNTS NERVOUSLY]

[STAMMERING]

You there.

Wh-What? Yes, you magnificence.

Uh, uh, no, no, no! Right away.

Well, now that that's done, now we can taxi to the runway, flight captain.

[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

I shall be the world's first flying sultan.

Nothing less, Your Magnificence.

Oh, you think big and smart.

Yes, are you ready for the flight of your life?

Yes, chocks away. [CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT] Fly, O magic carpet.

[SULTAN GIGGLES EXCITEDLY] Fly!

Ylf, teprac!

Ylf...

I said ylf...

What's wrong?

Is it not a flying carpet?

Oh, yes, of course it is.

It-It's just not used to flying with such an enormous... personality?

So fly, you lazy carpet.

Your sultan commands it.

[GROANING]

Why you...

Mutinous, rebellious...

Throw that filthy carpet to the crocodiles.

But, uh, it's a carpet.

We just risk getting the crocodiles constipated again.

Yes, your crocodiles are a tad sensitive.

They're the lesser spotted Western Nile crocodile.

And while your illustriousness is having lunch, I'll beat some sense into that carpet.

No worries, O highest Sultan.

It'll be fine.

SULTAN: Ooh, yum yum.

I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget.

Oh. Oh.

EMERALD: Come, come.

Hmm.

Follow me.

[DOORS OPENING]

[DOORS CLOSING]

There's Rat with the carpet.

Quickly.

Oh.

[LAUGHS EVILLY]

Ooh.

[LAUGHS EVILLY]

[GASPS]

I know full well that you're a flying carpet.

And if you don't fly soon, I'll unravel you faster than you can say, "Five flat fattened figs on a flattened fat fig vessel."

[BLOWING RASPBERRY]

I also saw how you threw the Sultan off.

A thing like that could get me thrown to the crocodiles.

And that's not gonna happen this close to achieving my goal.

I'll make you fly if it's the last thing I do so I can become General.

Hmm.

Then I no longer have to bow and scrape.

[SHUSHES] -THE RAT: Then I can do what I want.

Then it's-it's me who decides.

And no more calling me "Rat."

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

Huh?

What? Huh? Stop! Stop!

Throw!

[GASPS]

THE RAT: Hey! Hey... [WOMEN MUMBLING]

What a little darling. Hey.

I always wanted one like that.

Very soft.

This boy has stolen from the Sultan.

He must be punished!

Nobody's going to be punished here.

Such a little sugar pet. We'll mind you.

[LAUGHING]

SULTAN: What? What's that noise?

Do you want me to throw you all, my own wives, to the crocodiles?

WIFE 1: Look what we found.

Isn't he adorable? If we wash him, and give him some clean clothes...

May we keep him?

[ALL TOGETHER] Please, can't we?

Your Magnificence, this boy has tried to steal your carpet.

What are you saying?

Your Magnificence, this boy has tried to steal your carpet.

Yes, I heard you fine the first time.

Stop that nonsense.

It's hurting my ears. Oh, dear.

He needs minding.

Oh, how sad that...

He smells of goat. We'll wash him.

[TOGETHER] He'll be so nice.

He'll be like a rose bud.

[LAUGHING]

And he has fleas.

[TOGETHER] Fleas? He has fleas?

Run! I can already feel the creatures!

Itchy! Itchy! Ew! I can already feel them all over me!

[CHATTERING]

So you want to steal my carpet?

You little worm.

I'm not a worm.

What? You dare to contradict me, young worm?

The great Sultan Harun Al-Kaheed Bin Sulaiman Makhmood Fasai Abdul Rahim Jabbar Hakeem Zaheer...

[INHALES DEEPLY]

...Abdul Azeem Ruma Ipdin Al-Khattab?

Guards!

Throw him to the crocodiles.

Um, wait, wait. Stop!

What's that you say?

Is it now the fashion to contradict me?

Uh...

No. No, no.

But can't we just put him in jail, you know?

Eh, temporarily.

Whatever for, by the beard of all the prophets?

My little crocodiles will not go hungry.

Uh, no, no, but, uh, but, but it's just that right now, he's the only one who knows how to make the carpet fly.

So...

[SIGHS] How very confusing.

Well, throw him in the dungeons first. No!

Then we throw him to the crocodiles afterwards.

[GROANS]

[RATS SQUEAKING]

HODJA: Let go of me!

I haven't done anything. It's my carpet.

The Rat stole it from me.

Gee, that's exciting.

I wish you could tell me more about it, if I wasn't so incredibly indifferent.

[LAUGHING]

[GROANING]

So, you're here again to disturb me with all your noise.

The constant whirlwind of muscles and stupidity.

But, uh, Grim, it's been more than ten years since we brought you a prisoner.

Yeah, after the Sultan began throwing everyone to the crocodiles, you haven't had too many customers in your shop.

Yeah, yeah.

I better open the office then.

Throw him into number seven.

It was clean not too long ago.

[LAUGHING]

With pleasure.

[GROANING]

A load of fuss.

[SCOFFS]

What am I gonna do?

I've ruined everything.

Now I'll never get home to my mom and dad again.

[RATS SQUEAKING]

[SIGHS]

I wonder, do they think of me?

[COCK CROWING]

[HUMMING]

Here you go.

Water yesterday, water today.

Water again tomorrow.

I really miss milk.

[CHUCKLES] Yes, milk is good.

But it's not just the goat you miss.

It's all too quiet without Hodja.

It's like he's been gone forever.

Take care that I don't get too fond of you.

And what about El Faza?

I haven't found his Diamond.

And what about Emerald?

[SIGHS]

No, I can't sit here and count spiders.

I have to get out of here.

[THE RAT GROWLING]

It's no use threatening a carpet.

I swear by my fez, I will be General.

[GROANING FRUSTRATEDLY]

There's only one thing to do.

I have to use that meddling boy.

He's the only one who can get that carpet to fly.

And you!

Come with me.

We don't want any escape attempts.

Let me out!

Let me out!

I haven't done anything wrong.

Yeah, yeah.

Everyone's innocent. Check. HODJA: Somebody let me out!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I'm in checkmate. [GROANS]

[STRUGGLING]

[PEBBLES FALLING]

Why didn't I think of that?

There are lots of loose bricks in an old prison like this.

[STRUGGLING]

[GASPS]

Booyaka! Hodja Houdini!

I'm free!

[SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION]

Huh, let's see.

HODJA: Hey.

Hello. Let me out!

I'm innocent. Really.

Huh?

What the heck is going on?

Why is there a boy in number eight?

I'm sure I put him in number seven.

What is going on? Unbelievable.

So this is number seven. Huh!

Hi there. Are you gonna let me out?

Huh? I don't get it.

What's going on?

Why are there two boys now?

Hi. Hi.

GRIM: This can't be happening.

[HUMMING]

Oh.

Huh?

Hi. Oh.

Going crazy. Going crazy.

Is there something wrong?

Huh? No, I...

I'm just a little confused.

There's a boy next door in number eight, and as far as I can see, he looks just like you.

Yeah.

It's probably just a street kid that's conned his way in to get free food and lodging.

I heard about that.

Is that right?

I never heard about that kind of thing.

Well, I guess I need to get out and about more often.

Just you wait.

Soon all the cells will be filled with street kids who scrounge for food and a place to sleep.

Can you imagine how noisy that would be?

We'll have none of that around here.

I'm gonna end this racket.

Out you go, you little freeloader.

Out!

And you can tell all your freeloading friends that Grim ain't an easy fellow to fool.

Hey. Hah!

Yeah. [LAUGHS]

I still got it.

Don't I, kid?

Huh?

Kid?

Huh? Kid!

He ran off on me.

Behind my back, while I was throwing the other one out.

Oh, darn it.

I had a feeling this day was gonna end badly.

[DOOR LOCK OPENING]

[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

[GASPS]

Come on.

There's no mystery to going quickly down the staircase.

Just put your best foot forward.

Uh, but both my feet are equally pretty.

[SIGHS] It's just a saying.

GUARD: Oh, I see. THE RAT: It means...

Hi there. ...get a move on.

Why do I bother?

[ALL SCREAMING]

Let's go.

THE RAT: Don't just lie there. Get after him!

Hodja, you're alive.

[SIGHS] I thought...

I'm so happy to see you.

And you got the carpet. Yeah.

This way.

[PANTING]

Teprac ylf.

Quick. Jump.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

No!

They're getting away.

Close all the doors. Now!

Huh?

EMERALD: Whoa!

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

THE RAT: No way out.

Like vermin in a trap.

Who's the rat now?

[CHUCKLES]

Huh?

Faster.

Just like I told sweetie pie.

Did you?

[WOMEN SCREAMING]

Oh, no! Fleas!

He has fleas! Throw them out!

You have fleas?

Well, it would have been nice to know before you hugged me earlier.

No, I don't.

That was just something The Rat said.

Quiet.

They flew in here.

Out! Out! This place is off-limits for men.

Catch those kids!

Order from the Sultan.

Then it's whopping time!

[SCREAMING WAR CRIES]

[GROANING]

I got them!

Not.

EMERALD: This way.

After them.

[PANTING]

[PIGEONS COOING]

[CHUCKLES]

[STRUGGLES]

[GUARDS SCREAMING]

[CRASHES]

[WOMAN EXCLAIMS]

What? What's happening?

Did I not throw that little worm into the dungeon?

What is he doing with my carpet?

Go after him. Now!

Whoa!

Close those doors!

SULTAN: Buffoon!

[GASPS]

The Rat is a thief!

He stole my carpet but he doesn't know how to make it fly.

Yes, he did it.

He stole it because he wants to become your General.

[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY]

[CHUCKLING]

Do you really think I care who this carpet's previous owner was?

Because now it's my carpet.

And that's the only thing that matters.

You can't just take other people's things.

Oh, can't I? Oh, that's funny.

Because that's exactly what I'm going to do.

But I do plan to give something in return.

I intend, for instance, to give your little girlfriend to my crocodiles.

[SULTAN CHUCKLES]

Hey, back. EMERALD: Let go of me!

Let go of me! Wait!

Listen, you know that I'm the only person who can show you how to fly the carpet.

But I'll only do so if you release Emerald.

Deal?

Okay, it's a deal.

You show us how we fly the carpet, then, then, uh, yes, we'll let the girl go free.

No, Hodja.

No! You cannot trust them!

Put those spears away. EMERALD: No!

We'll have to fly outside.

We wouldn't want our great Sultan to hit his pretty head off the ceiling now, would we?

Yes, yes, that sounds sensible.

HODJA: Teprac.

Ll'ew teg taht natlus.

[GROANING]

Please, take your place, Your Lordship.

I should bring a co-pilot with me.

I can do it.

No, no, that won't do.

You could kidnap me.

Think I was born yesterday?

The Rat will go.

Yes, of course.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[STRUGGLING]

[GUARDS PANTING]

Please. Certainly.

Perfect. Now we're ready.

Here we go.

Ylf, teprac.

I can fly!

Look, I can fly!

And I am General!

A very good general.

Let's take a little trip. Yes.

Let us, my Sultan.

Don't worry. We will be back at crocodile feeding time.

[THE RAT LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

Won, teprac, won!

No, no. No, no, not down. Up.

Won. No, no, no.

No. Stop!

To the right.

[BOTH SCREAMING] THE RAT: To the left!

Down, boy! You'll give me a fall.

SULTAN: This is very stressful.

Can we stop? I want to get down.

I want to get down!

Don't worry. You will.

Worht meht ot eht selidocorc.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Ow!

[SCREAMING]

Oh! Make it stop!

[GIGGLING]

This is not good. Not good at all.

Teprac, won.

[SCREAMING]

SULTAN: Oh, Mommy! [SCREAMING]

Help me.

[GRUNTING]

Run! Keep running!

Get a move on.

THE RAT: I'm going as fast as I can!

Huh? Huh?

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

[GASPS]

Hodja. Emerald.

Uh, no you don't.

No, let her go.

She's to be thrown to the crocodiles.

Orders from the Sultan.

What sultan?

There is no sultan anymore.

You can do as you wish.

But I like getting orders.

Okay, do whatever you like. That's an order.

GUARD 1: I wanna be a camel breeder.

GUARD 2: I think I'd like an ice cream.

[LAUGHING]

You know what? It's the best day of my life.

Now I can finally get that vegetable garden.

Everyone is free now.

And you can all share everything.

Just as it should be.

And now, let's get going. Shall we?

Goodbye. Bye.

Bye now. Goodbye. See ya.

Come back and visit us soon. Don't be a stranger.

I'll make something delicious with coriander.

KID: Gee, that's pretty.

It'll be the latest fashion in Petto.

Wow. Look.

Oh. [RAYA BLEATS]

GEMSTONE: Oh, there they are. KID: Hi, Hodja.

KID: Hi, Emerald. HODJA: Hey, down there.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Oh, Raya.

Oh, how I missed you.

[RAYA BLEATING]

You've been so brilliant, Hodja.

Yes, now everything's great.

[GROANS]

I never found Diamond.

Huh?

Huh?

What?

Diamond?

That's what my grandfather called me since I was a little girl.

He could never remember that I'm called Emerald.

So, you've known all the time.

Of course. You don't play a trump card like that immediately.

Besides, I would have missed that silly face of yours right now.

Eh, but you're still coming with me to Pjort, right?

Sort of looks that way, country bumpkin.

Huh? [CHUCKLES]

GEMSTONE: Goodbye, friends. KID: Bye-bye.

EMERALD: Bye.

See you soon. KID: Bye.

Bye!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHING]

Wow!

What does it mean anyway?

"Worht meht ot eht selidocorc"?

I spoke backwards to the carpet.

It means, "Throw them to the crocodiles."

The carpet and I had a plan, and it worked.

Well, what do you know. [RAYA BLEATS]

There's more than chickpeas in there.

BOTH: Whoa!

HODJA: There's Pjort. There's my home!

EMERALD: Oh, wow. It's so pretty.

[SIGHS]

El Faza.

Huh. Hodja!

Uh, the carpet, and my Diamond.

How much you have grown, my little girl. Grandfather!

Wow!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh, how I missed you.

My sweet darling little Diamond.

[SIGHS]

[ALL LAUGHING]

Oh, Mom.

[EMERALD LAUGHING]

I'm sorry I left you in Petto.

You didn't have a choice.

And anyway, there's not much fun having a grandfather who's been eaten by a crocodile.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Ah, it's so wonderful that we're all here together.

You really have done so well, Hodja.

[SNIFFS] I'm so proud of my very brave son.

EMERALD: Yes.

Now we are a real family.

[RAYA BLEATS]

Ylf, teprac.

[ALL LAUGHING] [RAYA BLEATING]

EMERALD: Are you okay? MOTHER: Help him, Aram.

EL FAZA: Oh, thank you. [RAYA BLEATING]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]