Holy Smoke (1999) Script

♪ Holly holy eyes ♪

♪ Dream of only me ♪

♪ Where I am ♪

♪ What I am ♪

♪ What I believe in ♪

♪ Holly holy ♪

♪ Holly ♪

♪ Holy dream ♪

♪ Wanting only ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ Holly ♪

♪ Holy love ♪

♪ Take the lonely ♪

♪ Child ♪

♪ And the seed ♪

♪ Let it be ♪

♪ Filled with tomorrow ♪

♪ Holly holy ♪

♪ Sing a song ♪ ♪ Sing ♪

♪ Sing a song of songs ♪ ♪ Sing ♪

♪ Sing it out ♪ ♪ Sing ♪

♪ Sing it strong, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Call the sun ♪ ♪ in the dead of night ♪

♪ And the sun gonna rise ♪ ♪ in the sky ♪

♪ Touch a man ♪ ♪ who can't walk upright ♪

♪ And that lame man ♪ ♪ he gonna fly, yeah ♪

♪ And I fly ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ And I fly ♪

♪ Holly ♪

♪ Holy love ♪

I really want to do this. It's some of the real stuff.

God, you're so boring. What do you mean, "real stuff"?

It's for the losers! Ruth?

Okay. We'll miss... We'll miss the Rajasthani buffet!

Ruth!

Ruth!

Ruth, wait!


Is she out of money?

No. It's quite simple.

I've decided that I have to tell you the truth...

For the sake of Ruth's and our old friendship.

Oh, what's that taken on?

It's very exotic. It's on my Olympus.

Oh, that's interesting. Mine's a Minolta.

Is yours an auto-flash job?

What am I looking at here? Prue?

Wh-Who are these people in the photo?

Ruth.

That's Ruth.

Oh, my God, I didn't realize.

Gilbert, it's Ruth. Oh, yeah, I can see that now.

She's wearing the national costume.

I would never have recognized her.

I know.

Is something wrong? Well, tell me.

I want to know.

We were just like everyone else traveling in India.

We wanted to visit a live guru.

We weren't serious about it.

She thought it would be a good laugh.

But oh, it was so scary.

Some sort of freaky hypnotism happened.

I think they were on drugs.

She even burnt her airline ticket in front of me.

That's when I asked her...

"Is it true, what they said, that Baba might marry you?"

No, thank you, mate.

No, thank you. No, mate.

Thank you. That's fine. Thank you.

No, no. Say, Ruth... Say no!

Say no, Ruth! Stop it! Ruthy, stop him!

No! Ruthy!

Stop!

Ruth, don't! Say no!

Ruthy!

Ruthy! Somebody help!

This is serious.

Tim, please. It's serious.

Come on. Come on, both of you. We were waiting for you.

Okay, seriously. What's happening?

Who's he? He's the top man on the subject.

He's been very, very helpful. Hi, Tim.

Isn't it terrible?

But don't worry. Miriam's going to get her back.

She's going to India, aren't you?

Are you? - Well, I will if I need to.

I'm determined to fight. G'day, Tim.

Stop Robbie from drinking too much, Tim.

Yeah, that's right, Mum, we'll fight. Don't. Don't.

Don't come here and mock.

I'm close to the edge, Tim.

Sophie, sterilized at 23... to focus on her spiritual growth, wanted a reversal at 34.

It can't be done.

So how do we get her back? - Lure. You lure her.

Couldn't we just contact the embassy... and get her sent home? No, you can't.

If she were under 18... which she isn't... yes, certainly... we could bring her back under the international convention.

But you've got nothing on your sister other than declaring her... mentally incompetent, and that's almost impossible to do.

What we often do is steal.

You see, these cults use coercive and deceptive methods.

Steal them, turn the deception around.

They make up their little stories, we make up ours, but we get her back.

The next step is the difficult one.

You'll have captured your daughter's body, but not her mind.

- So what do we do, Stan?

We hire the man I believe to be... the number-one exit counsellor in America.

For legal reasons, it's best if he's in again, out again...

Untraceable. Is there any way... it could be dangerous? Yeah, it's delicate.

The mind's a damn mystery.

Why do people believe in God?

Why do people believe they're in love?

Why do I tell myself every day, "You're fat, mate.

Today I'm not gonna eat cake, butter or bread," and by lunch time I've done the lot?

So what did Mr. Hot Dog American cost?

Ten thousand dollars Australian, plus expenses. Shit!

And what's wrong with number two? How much did he cost?

Forget it, Gilly. We're doing it.

She's our golden girl.

My plane's leaving in three hours, everybody.

Delhi's hot... 95 to 105 degrees. Oh, God!

What if she doesn't come back?

When she knows you're dying, she'll come.

Sure.

What's bitten his little bum?

He doesn't like pretending to die.

Do you know where that is? That restaurant? Shiva's Restaurant?

It's a fair way, I suppose, is it?

Oh, goodness. It's busy, isn't it?

Hello. Give me money, please? No.

Give me a rupee, please? Give me a rupee, please? No. I'm sorry.

I'm from Australia. I haven't got any, uh, any Indian money.

You're sure... this is it?

Mum!

Oh! Where's your sari?

I was looking for a sari.

Oh, you're so hot.

Who's that? That's the restaurant's fake holy man.

This is my friend Rahi.

Who? Size.

It's my Sanyasin name. Hello, Miriam.

Hello. Let me get you a cold drink.

Have you ever tried a lassi?

A who? A lassi. It's a yogurt drink.

Is it from a bottle? - Mum, it's clean here.

Oh, yes, I see there are only a few dozen flies.

Is there a toilet or a hole here?

It's a hole.

Ugh!

"All your father and I want..."

Oh, Lord.

Calm down, calm down. Calm down, calm down.

Ventolin.

Yeah.

Ugh!

Mum, I've got no idea what Prue told you.

She just got really scared.

Something amazing has happened to me.

It's so powerful and so gentle.

It's... hard for me to describe.

You've got to experience Baba, Mum.

When he looks at you... Just looks at you...

All your pretensions and fears just vanish.

And suddenly it's so... It's so obvious... how to live your life...

That it's really possible to be happy and truthful, and do good.

How would you feel if I were to become enlightened?

Come and meet him this evening, Miriam.

It's a beautiful opportunity. Baba's going to be taking questions.

Just come and see.

He is so full of love.

Your father and I are pleased you've found fulfillment.

Are you?

How is dad? Like I wrote to you, he's very ill.

He had a stroke at Bill and Puss's farm, and won't be moved.

Is he gonna die?

Yes, he could. He wants to see you.

He's paid for your ticket home.

See, I cry.

I couldn't cry before.

I didn't know you didn't cry.

No.

Oh, poor daddy.

Maybe next time.

What do you mean, "next time"? Oh, you know, next time...

In another life.

Oh, never mind. - He's dying, Ruth!

Is he scared? - Well, of course he is!

He wants to see you.

We've got a ticket for you.

Um, it's really the timing, isn't it, Nazni? Who is Nazni?

Oh, it's Ruth. That's her apprentice name.

Ruth, can you speak for you?

Would you mind calling me Nazni? It's my name now.

Look, they only initiate new Sanyasins once a year, Fine. Fine. And it just happens to be next week.

You're doing just as you should.

You are pleasing yourself, which is exactly what we brought you up to do.

No, you just please yourself.

Don't let our deaths inconvenience you.

You've got great hair.

Oh, goodness. That's really kind of you.

No, it's fantastic.

She's a bit nervous. Of course.

How's the hair? Any scent?

Oh, it's good. Great.

The kitchen may be open... for supper after the evening program.

No. Oh, please.

I'm sorry. No.

I can't be sniffed. I-I feel sick, Ruth. I want to go back.

Don't be silly, Mum. Just walk through. No, I can't.

I feel like an animal. - Yes, you can. You'll be fine.

No! No! Don't touch me! You'll be fine.

Mum... No!

Mum, don't be silly. Excuse me.

Mum, stop it. You're embarrassing me. No!

Mum!

No no no.

Hello. Give me money.

I can't breathe!

My spray!

My spray!

No! No drink! No drink!


Oh, thank God it's QANTAS.

We're fine. It's fine.

Hello! Oh, my God!

So why is Miriam so freaked out?

Oh, she thinks I'm going to live in India, marry Baba... and commit group suicide.

She and dad hate Indians.

You know? Dark people?

They're just the main points.

Well, are you going to marry him?

I wish.

Oh, you wish? - Oh, yeah.

He's absolute love.

A...

There's, uh, just, uh, three problems.

He's not cute, Ruth. Look at him! He's poofie!

He's, like, old!

It's about love.

It's not that literal.

Marriage is symbolic. He's marrying everyone.

Sydney, Australia.

Case 190.

♪ Did you ever read ♪ ♪ about a frog who dreamed ♪

♪ Of being a king ♪

♪ And then became one ♪

♪ Well except for the names ♪ ♪ and a few other changes ♪

♪ If you talk about me ♪

♪ The story's the same one ♪

♪ But I got an emptiness ♪ ♪ deep inside ♪

♪ And I've tried ♪ ♪ but it won't let me go ♪

♪ And I'm not a man ♪ ♪ who likes to swear ♪

♪ But I've never cared ♪ ♪ for the sound ♪

♪ Of being alone ♪

♪ I am I said ♪

♪ To no one there ♪

♪ And no one heard at all ♪

♪ Not even the chair ♪ Fabio here is an extra body if needs be, and Robbie will step in to help too.

Yeah, whatever's necessary.

Mr. Waters, my name's Yvonne with a "Y." I'm Robert's wife.

It's such a relief that you've arrived, because we've all been so worried.

Now, I'm here to be of assistance to you.

I'm on supplies.

Do you find it hard to get polite help in America?

Polite? Oh, well, people with lovely manners.

Don't look at Robbie. He hasn't got any.

Where's the guy with the exiting experience...

Uh, Colin... Where is he?

He's had a family misfortune.

His mother died. Oh, God, Stan. Was it expected?

Excuse me.

This is not looking good, Stan. I needed Colin.

I can't begin this work without a properly experienced assistant.

Those are the rules.

Well, that's where Robbie comes into it.

Stan, come here a moment.

Now, I'm a little aggravated... because I could have got my lady Carol to come out, and she is good.

Now instead you've given me two fruitcakes.

One's a ponytail, and the other's a clown.

Now, exiting is a precision exercise.

I'm taking a leap with this girl into the sky.

We put everything at risk and when we get to the bottom, I need her parachute to open.

I need mine to open.

Now, which of these men would you trust to pack your chute?

Uh, Fabio. I think he'd do a neat job. Yeah, he'd do a neat job...

With his toilet bag.

If he hasn't packed a chute before, would you trust... him to figure it out?

No no no no.

Yvonne! Yvonne! What?

Okay, cop you later.

That was Tim, my older brother.

He's a gay man. They've arrived.

She's visited dad once, but she's restless.

So where do we go from here?

I'll take a look at her when I arrive, then we'll start talking.

Mm-hmm.

She's not that easy to chat to, is she, Robbie?

This isn't a chat.

This is a conversation that takes three days.

It's a very intuitive thing... Very concentrated.

So, what is it that you do? Um, I work... a basic three-step system, where I steer the subject... toward a breakthrough...

Breakdown, whatever you prefer to call it. Mm-hmm.

Step one, isolate her.

Get her attention and respect.

When she's listening well, I start to push her. Mm-hmm.

The heat goes on. The heat?

It's very traumatic for the subject... Mm-hmm.

Which it's supposed to be.

You want some? It's hot. No, thank you.

Step two, I remove all her props.

Her books, her sari, if she wears one.

Is she wearing one? Yeah. Actually, she looks... quite feminine for a change, doesn't she, Robbie? - Shh!

What? - Finally, the clouds of her unreason... burst upon the Earth, there's tears, sobs, hugs with the family, and it's over for me.

But... just beginning for you.

I've successfully exited 189 subjects, with a recidivist rate of three and a half percent.

There's no one in the U.S. or the U.K. who can match those statistics.

Huh.

I've failed to proceed in three cases when I judged the subject... too psychologically unstable.

Do you have a wife or a lady friend, Mr. Waters?

Why do you ask?

Well, I bet she wouldn't stand a chance.

What do you mean? - You're very persuasive.

I imagine you could persuade any woman to do anything.

♪ 'Cause the love that you gave that we made ♪

♪ Wasn't able to make it enough ♪ ♪ for you to be open wide ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ And every time ♪ ♪ you speak her name ♪

♪ Does she know how you told me ♪ ♪ you'd hold me until you died ♪

♪ Till you died ♪ ♪ Well you're still alive ♪

♪ And I'm here ♪

♪ To remind you ♪

♪ Of the mess you left ♪

♪ When you went away ♪

♪ It's not fair ♪

♪ To deny me ♪

♪ Of the cross I bear ♪ ♪ that you gave to me ♪

♪ You, you ought to know ♪

♪ 'Cause the love that you gave ♪ ♪ that we made wasn't able ♪

♪ To make it enough for you ♪ ♪ to be open wide, no ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ And every time ♪ ♪ you speak her name ♪

♪ Does she know how you told me ♪ ♪ you'd hold me until you died ♪

♪ Till you died ♪ ♪ Well, you're still alive ♪

♪ And I'm here ♪ Hi, Mummy. Hi, baby.

Hi, Aunt Puss. Good morning, early bird.

Where are the boys? Oh, they're back at the motel, cuddled up asleep.

I thought I'd just... - Mmm.

Drive out and say bye to dad.

Oh, he's sleeping, Ruth.

I think he should be left. Oh, don't worry.

I'll sneak in. I won't wake him.

W-Wait, Ruth. We'll come too.

Okay. I'll race you.

Come on.

Oh, God.


If.

Om mani padme om.


Dad! You're up!

Oh, my God, that's great!

That's great!

What's the matter?

What's going on?

You're not sick at all, are you?

We're all sick from worrying about you, Ruth.

What? - There's someone visiting we want you to talk to.

You're bullshitting me. We just want to be sure you're on the right track.

Hi, sis! Hi, Ruthy!

Look, you'll bloody well stay here, and get this sheet off.

How dare you! Easy, easy, easy!

You liar!

You lied to me!

I fucking came home! You made me think you're dying, you liar!

We're here because we all love you.

Yeah. We all love you. I-I love you. - Yeah, sis.

You know... You know we love you.

Yeah, Ruth. We all love you. Yeah, of course we do.

Yeah. We love you, sis.

Where's mum? Keep it tight.

Come on. I'll take you to meet him. It's for your own good.

No thanks. Where's mum?

Oh, you want your mummy now, do you?

Not so tough, eh? You've met your match in him, girlie.

He's gonna straighten you out.

He's a great guy, sis. He's real experienced in religion and stuff.

Just three days. Just listen to him, yeah?

Get around. Get around her.

You fucking, lying shit!

You lying shit! I hate you!

Let go! Let go!

Tim! Timmy.

Timmy, let... Let me talk to you and mum, please?

Tim... Please, Tim.

Please!

Please, Timmy, please!

Please. Please!

Timmy!

Come on, walk over.

Oh, God!

He's not there?

No other back-ups? Nobody else?

Phone's out of range. It doesn't work.

Look at this.

It's a gift. See? She's coming towards me.

We're on step one. This could be over in 12 hours.

What about your lady friend, Carol? I need someone now.

But there isn't anyone. I've tried the Rabbi.

I've left several messages. No response.

What do we do? Just... let her go?

Yeah, we let her go.

Three little steps, Stan, but you don't want to fall.

Keep up with her.

Well, you're the expert.

I want to talk to my mother.

Sure.

You're in. So, you gonna do it?

Oh, there.

Why?

Why? Why?

Because I think you've been manipulated.

Maybe even drugged.

No!

No, Mum.

Mum, I'm the only one of my friends who doesn't do drugs.

Tell her!

I'm sorry, Ruth.

That's what I believe.

I believe you're manipulating me right now.

Mum. Mum, Mum? Yeah?

Why are you here?

To save you.

No. I mean on Earth.

Why are you here? What's the point of your life?

Is this a trick?

No! No, Mum. It's a real question.

Why are you here? Do you ever think about that?

Yes!

I think about a lot of things.

I think about the... magnetic draw of the planets, their ever-shifting relationship, the healing power of crystals.

Look, mum and dad have spent a small fortune on this guy, who, by the way, has a very good reputation.

According to who? - Let me finish.

No! Go on. According to who? - So why don't you just do the three days?

According to who? Just do the three days. We'll all be...

Excuse me. According to who? Okay, to a friend of mine.

A doctor. A psychiatrist, okay? No.

May I?

Come on.

Come on, big jump. Flying! Oh!

Whoo! That was a good one.

It's my turn.

Is it my go?

What do you believe in?

Safe sex.

Sex? I'm an anarchist.

My parents subscribed to their magazine.

"The Lord's Prayer is muttered by traumatized, paranoid worms... groveling for a meager existence."

Traumatized worms? Traumatized, paranoid worms.

So what's happening? Have they finished? No.

But the good news is, she's shaken hands on it.

She's going to do the three days.

He finally promised her a ticket back to India.

Excuse me, Robbie.

He wants to leave as soon as possible.

Well, where are they going? Out of the way, love.

Where are they going? I think he should have told me about it.

I mean, I'm supposed to be in charge of the security operation.

To the half way hut.

He says he can't work anywhere near the family.

Look, we're very lucky to have him, given the circumstances.

We're getting his personal assistant out from America, and she's experienced. Mm-hmm.

I'm not going to think costs. We have to do it.

Mmm. Well, that's all well and good, but what about the security operation?

What about Fabio? Do we send him home?

Well done, dear. Good luck, Ruthy.

Fuck off, all of you. You, madam, watch yourself with your mother.

Hey, come on, Ruth.

You can talk, you hypocrite. Where's your little love bomb?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Don't engage with her. - Yes, you do!

Where's my half sister then, Dad?

You know, your secretary's secret little love bomb? - What love bomb?

She's in a complete fantasy. If this cure works, I'll be as fucked a liar as you.

Keep up with her. Go!

To the rescue!

It's my go.

Batman!

Shoes please, Ruth.

Day one, isolate her.

Get her attention.

Win her respect.

I feel for these kids, every one of them.

They're lost and they don't know it yet.


Ugh!

This is, um, a complete waste of time.

You're never going to break me.

That's fine.

I didn't expect it to be easy.

You're a young, intelligent lady... with strong convictions.

It would be a little disappointing if it were too quick.

There's no way I can even listen to someone like you, who dyes their hair.

I've made up my mind. Oh, you've made up your mind?

Yes, that's right.

And how, may I ask, did that happen?

What? - How did you do it?

Did you make your mind... hard and solid, like a brick...

Always the same rain or shine, nothing gets through?

If I was to say to you, "Don't think of pink butterflies," you don't, right?

Or do you?

I'm not thinking of pink butterflies. You just mentioned them.

You see, the mind is a rebel.

It is not a servant.

I'm not the one who will break you, Ruth.

Your own mind will. It will seek the truth, and the truth will set you free.

John, 8:32.

It's already heard the truth.

The truth about your saintdom? Baba and Mrs. Baba?

Not everything's a posture. Not everything's a joke.

You're right. It's not a joke.

We're talking about your soul here.

Have you thought about the damage... that could be done to your soul, to your very center, if you hand it over to someone else?

To the wrong someone else?

"I feel within me that spark, that atom emanation of the divine spirit."

Guiseppe Verdi.

The soul is the match.

The spark.

The flame that can light your path.


I want to ask you a question.

What, in your opinion, is the most important task of a human life?

Any idea?

Is this multiple choice, or a fake question?

It's an oratory technique.

Have you heard of Socrates?

Yeah.

"The soul takes nothing with her to the other world... but her education and culture."

So let's get to the facts.

What are you doing with your soul?

What is Chidaatma Baba teaching you?

What's the point of my telling you?

You already have an opinion.

I want to know what you know.

Something has touched you, hasn't it?

To find out that, you'd have to look into my heart.

Way beyond something you can read in a book and quote.

It is. It is. It is.

That's... That's his teaching.

Oh, that's what he said?

His words? "It is"?

His words.

"He alone attains unto it who exclaims, 'It is! It is!'

Thus may it be perceived and apprehended in its essence."

The Upanishads.

The Upanishad Ruth... An ancient Hindu text.

Feel with your heart, but check your facts.

I want my shoes back.

No. You agreed to stay.

And I'm going to make it easy for you.

You can't stand the fact that I've got faith, can you?

'Cause you're so frightened and dried up.

But feeling...

Just trusting your heart...

It's beyond you.

I get strength like...

Like you can't imagine from my choice.

That's what we're really here to examine.

The meaning of the word choice, and whether you had one or not.

Hello?

Listen, I need clothes for Ruth. Oh, yes?

Can you meet me at the yards? Okay, but two changes?

Do you think dresses or pants? You decide.

Dresses.


♪ Put your trust in me ♪

♪ Like I have faith ♪ ♪ in you ♪

♪ Put your trust in me ♪

Have you got the clothes? Yeah. The clothes and... the coffee.

So, has she started talking yet?

A little. Oh.

Oh, she's so lucky to have you to talk to.

I've got problems too, you know?

Robbie thinks I've been having an affair. - Oh.

Yeah. He found my letters.

So... you are?

Robbie's so mad.

Just wants to beat the guy up.

He has no idea who it is, and he'll never, ever guess.

Shall I tell you?

Okay.

Me. I wrote them.

Oh, they're so beautiful.

And they're so romantic.

You... You wrote the letters? Yeah.

I don't have sex with Robbie.

I have sex with film stars.

I cut out their picture and I stick them on my bedside drawer.

And when Robbie and I make love, I pretend that it's...

Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise.

I like Sly, too. Do you?

Mmm. - In the dark, I imagine that Robbie's arms and legs are theirs.

Woof. Oh, honeybunch!

Oh, that's lovely, Robbie!

Yeah! Yeah!

Oh, T...

Tone! Tone!

Oh! Oh, God, Matt!

Matt! Oh! Sometimes I get... a little confused because I can't remember who it is... who is making love to me.

But... But I think that Yvonne is-is cheap.

Take it easy.

Breathe.

Into the diaphragm. Yeah.

Keep breathing.

I mean, who is going to want me when they know how many guys that I sleep with?

Keep breathing.

Yes, thank you. The breathing. Down here.

The breathing.

Do you have a web site?

Keep breathing.

Keep breathing.

Day two.

A painful day for the client.

Remove her props, upset her and provoke her.

So I put the sari up the tree.

No more Mr. Nice Guy. I want my clothes back.

Juice?

You know, I thought I was going to have to wait the longest time... for the real you to break through.

You think a sari is going to change that?

Ten hundred saris won't hide that.

And you'll only succeed in tying a big knot around yourself.

Hello. Would you...

Share what you're thinking, please?

Hello!

Meditating.

I was just meditating on the difference between you and Baba.

He wears a dress.

He lives the way he teaches.

Mmm. And what, specifically, has he taught you?

To do good. To be a good person.

And how is that manifesting itself?

Are you out there doing good deeds?

Paying taxes? You're a cynic.

Yes. Yes, I am a cynic... because I investigate crap.

What about the crap in you, Ruth?

Did you take that to... the guru?

You're a shit.

You don't care about me. You don't even know me.

And I didn't go to Baba to get my fucked-upness fixed. Well, you'd be the first.

All right, so I hoped it would help me grow.

I know I'm not perfect. Good, Ruth.

Yeah.

So what do you believe in then?

Why do you want to know that?

Because I'm just curious to know what you worked out.

So you can follow me?

Sorry, honey. That's not my ticket.

I told you, don't you ever touch me!

My body is mine, honey. You're a prick.

You know, you'd be better off crying.

Fuck you! - I don't want to disempower you.

Oh, yeah?

If you want disempowerment, you go right back to Mother India.

See how they treat women there.

Or didn't you notice all those little ultrasounds blipping away... so people can go in and say, "Oh, my god, it's a girl!" and flush her out and abort her.

They're more honest. - Excuse me?

They're more honest in their hatred of women.

I don't hate women.

I love ladies.

"Ladies."

You wouldn't know any.

I'll bet you date little Barbie dolls, don't you?

"Oh! You're so brainy!

"Oh, you're so big.

Can I suck your dick?"

Can I be alone now?


So, was it the ultimate revenge?

What was?

Taking your beauty off to an ashram.

Beauty has its own price.

You wouldn't know. Yeah, it attracts the shit.

Can do.

Now, I've dated some beautiful... ladies.

My ex-wife was a model.

Wow. A bit paranoid.

Always going on about fat people.

She looked good though.

Oh, right. Excuse me?

"She looked good though."

Yes. Well, it didn't work that well.

There was a kind of a hostility between us.

She was always mincing about. Very flirty with the friends.

Suggesting open marriage...

Which we... did.

We both slept around.

A, I slept around.

Then we went to India. There were six of us.

Next thing, she's off with my best friend.

I punched him out, Left the bus and wanted to die.

And that's when I met Singh, the so-called god.

I shook all over.

I totally... relinquished myself to him.

If I saw any crap... Which I did on occasion...

I put it down to a test... You know, "Singh's testing me."

Then one historic day...

he took me to his private rooms and hugged me.

I thought, "I'm special. He's chosen me."

Very happy.

Next thing, his hand's down my pants and he's pulled my dick out.

It's just lying there in his hand, and we are both... looking at it.

And so he starts rubbing away. God.

Are they spraying or something?

Sorry? - Is the plane spraying?

Doesn't matter.

So, I'm on my way out of the ashram, and Singh's standing there.

I couldn't avoid him.

When I drew parallel, he... hissed at me.

"You show only outer love, "inner love not complete.

Only delusion."

What's that mean?

It means, "Uh-oh, I didn't come."

He couldn't fuck me.

Hello. How's Ruth?

Is she all right? Yeah.

She's listening. She's still delicate. Uh-huh.

We're on step two, so there's progress.

Oh, good, because we had a call from air traffic control.

A pilot rang them. Uh-huh. What for?

A "help" sign. He wanted to know if we'd left one.

A what? - A "help" sign made of stones.

Whoo! Jesus!

I said it was a game.

Whoa! Whoa! Don't!

What? Stop!

Don't!

What are you doing?

What, do you think I'm gonna break, like all those other little chicken wing girlies you snap apart?

You're dishonest.

You wanna sleep with me, don't you?

Not all touch is desire.

I'm gonna be sick! But you wouldn't know about that...

'cause you're so busy imagining how everyone is desiring you.

You're one of the most ungenerous people I've ever met.

I don't think you could actually... entwine with another person... on account of your having to maybe give something back.

You don't know that.

No, and I don't want to.

We made a contract which you broke.

I don't have to honor a contract with the devil.

I'm a regular person and you know it.

Now, put these stones back.

Please.

I have had deep relationships.

Day two ends with screening the cult videos.

The cracks widen... The client falls apart.

Bye-bye, Baba.

Oh, you look wonderful, darling.

Pink really suits you.

Doesn't she look wonderful, Gilbert?

You're looking good, Ruth. Would you like a drink?

What's your poison?

Can I bum a cigarette off of you?

Are you sick?

No.

Are you feeling better? Off to bed, kids. Off to bed.

Do you want a sandwich?

Oh. You look good.

Have you ever tried that taco food?

Taco Bell. I was thinking about kicking into that.

It's gotta be collateralized.

It's lovely to have you here, darling.

You wouldn't know any Yankee bods want to get into it?

I'm really here for your sister, Robbie.

Oh, I know that. Is she doing okay?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Shift your chair.

Oh. You all right, love?

Here we go.

When you meet the happiest people you've ever known, who introduce you to the most loving people you've ever encountered, and you find the leader to be the most inspired, compassionate and understanding.

The cause... something you never dared hope could be accomplished, and all this sounds too good to be true.

It probably is.

Because these men are not only... some of the most charismatic people of the 20th century, they are also some of the most dangerous.

Fanatics have their dreams... wherewith they weave a paradise for a sect.

How's it going, Charlie? Good.

At its peak, there were 20 or 30 young people in the Manson family.

In their cult alias, two of these girls took part in the brutal murder... of seven people at the Tate/Polanski house, including Sharon Tate, who was eight months pregnant.

♪ When evil falls ♪ ♪ on your family ♪

♪ Holy provision ♪ ♪ you'll bring ♪

♪ You'll walk with us... ♪ As Manson was led back to jail, newsmen put the sanity question to him too.

Are you sane? Sane?

Yes. That's relative.

Members of his clan have been waiting outside the city jail... protesting Manson's arrest.

They're trying to kill us as fast as they can.

He cut a man's head off. Is that the truth?

I... You'd better believe he's going to cut heads off... when he gets out of here.

He's gonna cut all your heads off...

'cause that's what you got coming.

On the 21st of October 1978, Congressman Ryan was gunned down at an airstrip near Jonestown, Guyana.

Over 900 bodies were found, nearly 300 of whom were children.

Children who had no choice but to drink the poisoned Kool-Aid mixture.

Many of these children were wards of the state.

Would you like a freshen-up?

No, I've got one. All right. Okay.


Parents... human parents...

Do not possess the offspring they have.

It's... It's a very evil thing for them to think that they are theirs.

My father used to say to me, he used to say, "No boy of mine is growing up straight."

Shut up, you.

He used to put me in frocks, lipstick, makeup.

He put his wig on me and made me mime to Shirley Bassey.

...human misinformation.

If I would title this tape, it would be...

"Last Chance To Evacuate Planet Earth...

Before It Is Recycled."

Marshall Applewhite led the 38 members... of his Heaven's Gate cult to suicide, believing they would rise to what they refer to... as the evolutionary level above human.


Ruth!

Ruth!

I don't want you to talk.

My God, I feel as if I'm going to split into pieces.

My head is... Is busting.

I'm so confused.

Hold it!

You better know what you're doing because this is heart surgery.

It's all gone.

It's just... It's all gone.

The love is... The love is gone. The love is all gone.

You're doing well, Ruth.

That's the girl.

Nobody likes me.

Hey, that's not true.

You don't like me.

Yes, I do.

Kiss me.

No, Ruth. I can't do that.

I'm scared.

I know you are, but kissing won't change that.

No.

Mmm.


I think we'd better phone your mother.

Okay. Let's phone mum.

Don't come! Don't come!


Day three... shit.

Put it on. You take the sunnies.

Listen, are we going to go in and talk to her?

Yeah. This is a bit embarrassing.

No, don't put the hat on.

Give me... Give me the hat.

This hut is out-of-bounds.

Is she okay?

A bit tender.

Does she... Does she accept that they were crap?

I wouldn't say they were crap.

Let's just say she's hovering.

Yani's sister's come up. We want to take Ruth with us to celebrate.

You know, there's a theme night at the pub.

Absolutely not.

She can't leave here until the process is complete.

It's just for a...

I think it would be good for me.

I'll get changed.

That's good, Aunt Puss.

Oh!

I'm sorry, Ruth. I shouldn't have slept with you.

I don't know.

It's never happened before.

All right, of course it's happened, but never in this situation, never with a client.

Don't worry. It wasn't anything.

Look. I was there too.

I think it was a little more than that.

I was trying to be comforting.

You don't think I was faking it, do you?

Get inside, Yani. You silly boy. - Give me the joint!

What's that? Give me the marijuana!

Get back.

Give me the joint! Give me the joint!

We're gonna be...

Whoo!

♪ Am I ever gonna see ♪ ♪ your face again ♪ No way! Get fucked! Fuck off!

♪ Am I ever gonna see ♪ ♪ your face again ♪ No way! Get fucked! Fuck off!

♪ Am I ever gonna see ♪ ♪ your face again ♪ No way! Get fucked! Fuck off!

♪ Am I ever gonna see ♪ ♪ your face again ♪

♪ Am I ever gonna see ♪ ♪ your face again ♪ How we goin', mate? You want some weed?

It's a good buzz.

What do you reckon? I'll give you weight for 50 bucks, mate?

It's good stuff. ♪ Am I ever gonna see your face again ♪ May I have the pleasure? - No, thanks.

Oh, yeah, of course, you're on duty, aren't you?

♪ See your face ♪ ♪ I wanna see your face ♪ You can have a stick for 20 bucks. What do you reckon?

Bang!

Will you get me another one?

No. I don't think you should be drinking.

Well, I think I should.

♪ I put a spell on you ♪

♪ I put ♪

♪ I put a spell on you ♪

♪ Because you're mine ♪

♪ I put a spell ♪

♪ On you ♪

♪ Because you're mine ♪

♪ Because you're mine ♪

♪ You better stop ♪ ♪ the things you do ♪

♪ I ain't lying ♪

♪ You better stop ♪ ♪ the things you do ♪

♪ I ain't lying ♪

♪ I put a spell ♪

♪ On you ♪

♪ Because you're mine ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Because you're mine ♪

♪ Ain't gonna take ♪ ♪ your foolin' around ♪ Where's Ruth?

♪ Or take none ♪ ♪ of your puttin' down ♪


I don't want to. Don't! Have some.

Look here. You drink from my bottle now, yeah.

No no no.

All right, all right. Hey, what's up, Pops?

Who are you, her dad or something, eh?

We're all friends here, pal.

Right, next time, mate. I'm all right. Don't worry about it.

Come on.


Oh, I want to go home.

You're out of control.

You didn't seem to mind last night.

Oh, come on.

Come on. It's over.

You fucked up.

No, it's not over.

For one, you're drunk.

And two, we're still in the cave.

Ooh, spooky! But now it's... a much darker and deeper cave than it was last night.

All right, I'll admit it.

In India, I was influenced by processes beyond my control.

Wow! Happy?

Hmm?

Are you?

What about you?

You're playing with me, Ruth.

What do you like about me? Do you like my personality, or do you like my breasts best?

All right, Ruth. Right now I like your breasts.

It's just the way it is.

You can't stop me from having sexual thoughts about you.

Oh, yeah? What do you think? What are your thoughts?

They're private.

Well, not the other night.

How was it for you?

A bit revolting.

You bitch.

It was... It was interesting, historically.

Oh, babe. Come, babe. Listen to me!

I had sex with you because you begged me to.

Now, you think it's funny to insult me, then I think you're a cruel and stupid young woman.

Yeah, you laugh.

What about you kiss me?

Really?

Yeah, see if I can teach you.

I know how to do it.

I don't think so. Not so I like it.

Close your eyes.

Now, gently.

And don't open your mouth too wide.


Take my pants off.

Slowly.

No no no no.

Kiss... around it.

Gently.


Four, five, six, seven, eight.

Get off there.

Robbie Baron.

Carol.

You're from L.A.?

Not originally, but PJ and I live there now.

Where, originally? Houston.

Robbie, how is your sister?

Good. Oh, we got plastered last night.

John had to cart her home.


Could we talk somewhere?

Yeah, here.

Did you disconnect the phone?

Yes. I decided against incoming calls.

Great. I was going to call you.

When? When I'd finished.

Are you finished? Yes.

Pretty much. She's still floating a bit, but...

Yeah, pretty much.

Look, I was here alone, yeah.

I had enough to worry about... without having to think about who was getting the fuckin' phone, yeah.

Don't go chewing your stuff off at me!

You're incredible.

I can't believe what I'm seeing in here.

She's on the couch, naked. What's going on?

Are you fucking her, for instance?

I'm taking you home.

No!

You could damage this girl.

Oh, come on, Carol. I know all that.

It's working. Honestly.

What if I tell her parents?

There's nothing to tell.

Give me a couple of days.

Nerd.

I swear to you. You've lost it. You've lost it.

I swear to you everything's fine.

Oh, Jesus.

One more day.

One more day.


Hmm? What is that? A nose?

You can have it back.

That was nice... meeting your girlfriend.

She wanted to smack your arse.

I'm just lying there, acting asleep, so she covers me up.

I felt like a baby.

Well, you are a little baby, aren't you?

You should be sleeping with big mommies your own age.

You wouldn't have to stick all that dye in your hair. - Man hater.

Look. I'm here, okay? No!

All right!

Okay.

Do your worst.

I'm gonna lie down, and I wanna hear it.

Your absolute worst.

You do what you do best.

Okay, Tampax tool.

I'm gonna give it you right up your arse. Hmm?

All this "man hating" shit for a start.

Oh, she criticized me. I'll her her a "man hater."

I know what you want from me.

You just want a youthful pussy transfusion.

Preferably one you can take home to show the men folks... what a beautiful post you got to piss on.

Oh!

Mr. "Jeans Pressed, Cowboy Boots."

Is that a uniform for individuals, is it?

I want a young man. No.

Your physical superiority makes you unkind.

Yeah?

And that's the whole reason we're talking intimate.

As in "Old salivating slob seeks slim young thing..." Okay.

No, I haven't finished. "Seeks slim young thing for stimulating conversation.

Excuse me, dear. Let's fuck."

Keep going.

Go on.

Oh! Do you know what you need?

You need the same age, fun-loving woman.

I've got just the girl for you.


You look lovely.

Hmm. Sexy.

I bet you bake great cakes.

Stop it.

You old lezzo.

God!

Getting a bit... Getting a bit aggressive.

Now, come on, ducks. We can't have you half-dressed.

Let's get your trousers off, and then we'll see how irresistible you are.

Fuck you, Ruth. No, you fuck yourself.

But you wouldn't, would you?

I was young once too, and handsome.

You'd have been impressed.

I wasn't born!

I won, didn't I?

I'm on top, aren't I?

I'm the winner!

Yes, you're the winner.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

So, what are you?

A dirty old man.

Oh, this is so much fun.

I wish my friends were here, then we could really laugh.

So, tell me what I am?


Be kind?

So what? You don't think I'm kind.

Oh, God.

Now I feel sick.

Why didn't you just write "cruel"?

Hey, come on.

No, you're right.

Be kind... That's the whole point.

Thank you. I'm very grateful.

That is it, isn't it?

The only thing.

The Dalai Lama said it... kindness.

Do you know what I'm really scared of?

What?

Don't tell anyone.

No.

Despite all my strong feelings,

I'm heartless.

I'm hoping you're heartless enough... to abuse me for your own sick pleasure.

Oh, it's not a joke.

No one can be close to me.


Do you even like me?


She was starkers when I took Carol.

Who was? Ruth.

She was lying naked on the couch.

He was in the shower. He'd just been, like, goin' at her.

Takin' off the franger.

I don't think Mom's paying him to...

Yeah, very likely not, you big dick.

Did you tell mum?

No, no one. I thought we could go down.

What are you doin'?

It's over.

No, it's not.

Ruth.

Look. It's all wrong.

I'm ashamed I tortured you. It's all defilement.

I liked it.

I think we should... be together.

Nerd.

I'm lost. I'm completely lost.

We're holding hands. We're... We're sticking together.

Why... Why don't we get married?

Why don't you marry me?

Be my bride. No.

Yes! No! No!

Don't! Don't!

You're mad. Let me go!

Get off me!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Leave me alone! You're hurting me! Stop!

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Shit. Oh, shit.

Now, if she was naked, okay, it's her own affair.

Hey, look. It's your car.

It's him. See?

Robbie, pull up! No. I'll ram him. He's dead meat.

Have you seen Ruth? No.

Where is she? Has he got lipstick on his face?

She's not at the homestead? No.

No, she isn't. So what happened?

What's happened is that she's taken off, and we'd better get everyone out to look for her.

I'm trying the tavern. What do you want us to do?

You stay at the hut. She might return there.

I'll come with you. - No. No, it's not necessary.

It's okay. I'd like to come.


I hope she's been behaving herself.

You know, young girls can be big teasers.

I should know.

Have you ever wondered where the dead birds go?

I mean, when they die, do they just... drop out of the sky?

Actually, I feel very sorry for Ruth.

Because I've been thinking about it, and I don't think there's anything out there.

Just a big, dark nothing.

All we really have is each other.

Stop. Stop!

Stop the car! Oh, my God, I know where she is!

This is so dangerous. Ruth, it's Yvonne.

I don't care who you believe in, you've gone too far.

You could have killed yourself in this heat!

♪ Underneath the mistletoe last night ♪

Oh. Okay. Okay. Help me.

Ruth! It's all right, Ruth. No!

No! Ruth!

It's okay! No!

♪ I saw mommy pick up... ♪ No, wait! I'm not in yet!

♪ Underneath the mistletoe ♪ ♪ last night ♪ No! No!

No!

♪ What a laugh it would have been ♪ We could go to India!

No! No!

Come on, stop!

♪ Kissin' Santa Claus ♪ ♪ last night ♪

♪ I saw mommy kissing ♪ ♪ Santa Claus ♪ No! No!

We'll see Baba. He can help us.

Why not?

You and me at the ashram.

I love you!

I love you.

I love you!

You... You and I at the ashram.

Bang Bang! Yes. All right.

Okay. Thank you. Bye.

Grandma, bang bang! Stan says to stay calm.

He's frankly a little worried that they've left the hut.

What a genius!

Do you know what could happen, Miriam?

Sh-She could be lost? - She could be found.

Found wandering the effing highway by the police, who will come here to arrest us all.

Why aren't we checking the roads? It's a good idea.

Bill-Bill?

We'll get Robbie and Tim.

I think we should say The Lord's Prayer.

This is such a mess.

Our Father who art in heaven... hallowed be Thy name.

Oh God, is the valley of death in this?

No, it's the daily bread.

Oh, I don't even know the words. He won't listen.

♪ Which art in heaven ♪

♪ Hallowed be ♪

♪ Thy name ♪

♪ Thy kingdom come ♪

♪ Thy will be done ♪

♪ On earth ♪

♪ As it is in heaven ♪


♪ It's not the way you smile ♪ ♪ that touched my heart ♪

♪ Sha la la la la ♪

♪ It's not the way you kiss ♪ ♪ that tears me apart ♪

♪ Oh, many nights roll by ♪

♪ I sit alone at home ♪ ♪ and cry over you ♪

♪ What can I do ♪

♪ I can't help myself ♪

♪ When, baby, it's you ♪

♪ Sha la la ♪ ♪ la la la la ♪

♪ Baby, it's you ♪

♪ Sha la la ♪ ♪ la la la la ♪

♪ 'Cause, baby, ♪ ♪ it's you ♪

♪ Sha la la ♪ ♪ la la la la ♪

♪ Baby, it's you ♪

♪ Sha la la ♪ ♪ la la la la ♪

♪ Don't leave me alone ♪

♪ Sha la la ♪ ♪ la la la la ♪

♪ Come on home ♪

♪ Sha la la ♪ ♪ la la la la ♪

♪ Sha la la ♪ ♪ la la la la ♪

♪ Sha la la ♪ ♪ la la la la ♪

Oh, God.

I just can't believe we all trusted him.

I mean, he so disappointed me.

Oh God, Ruth. Poor you.

And we'll make him pay.

Yeah, we'll sue the prick into the gutter.

Yeah. Use Dave Caughley. He's bloody good.

Yeah, he's good.

God, he looked shocking. Looked like the emus had been at him.

Serves him right.

♪ Sweetheart ♪ ♪ The sun has set ♪ Let's take Ruth to the doctor because her nose is bleeding.

Robbie, can you just stop the car?

♪ Blood stained ♪ ♪ on an ageless sky ♪

♪ Wipe your tears ♪ ♪ and let the salt stains dry ♪

♪ Let them all run dry ♪ Can you let me out, please?

♪ All run dry ♪

♪ For time will catch us ♪ ♪ in both hands ♪

♪ To blow away ♪ ♪ like grains of sand ♪

♪ Ashes to ashes ♪ ♪ rust to dust ♪

♪ This is what ♪ ♪ becomes of us ♪


Dear PJ, my dad finally did run off with his secretary.

So, mum came back to India with me, and we're working at the Animal Help and Suffering in Jaipur.

I'm still chasing the truth.

I've read the complete Bhagavad Gita.

Oh, I've got a boyfriend.

He's a little jealous of you.

I don't know why I love you.

But I do... from afar.

Something... Something really did happen, didn't it?

Ruth.

Dear Ruth, Thank you.

It was good to get your card and news.

What about this?

Carol and I are the proud parents of twins.

She's forgiven me, patched me up, chewed me out, nursed me. Come on.

I'm writing a novel, my second.

It's about a man who meets his avenging angel.

He has!

Could you really love me?

I'm amazed.

Even if it is from far, far away, I wear it like a blessing.

About the "something"... Yes.

Didn't you notice it just about killed me?

Yours any time... Don't tell Carol...