Hooligan Escape The Russian Job (2018) Script

Everybody here?

Are they coming or what?

Davie, this is down to you, mate.

Down to me?

As it is, down to me?

He's just running off, mate, a bit of DP.

It's bad, isn't it?

Just hold still.

It's fuckin' bad.

Boys, this is an office with CCTV.

The only way out is back the way we came.

Well, those Russian fucks better be ready for us.

Yeah, 'cause that worked out so fuckin' well before, didn't it?

Fuck off!

Everyone get something they can use.

They're not fuckin' about, are they?

Yeah well, neither are we, mate.

Boys, here they come.

Vince, come and hold this.

Keep it still.

Come on then!

Well, that don't sound too friendly.

Ed, Ed!

Come on, get out!

Come on, Vince.

Let's go!

Come on.

Fuck you!

Come on, come on get out.

♪ Who the fucking hell are you ♪

♪ Who the fucking hell are you ♪

♪ Who the fucking ♪

♪ Who the fucking ♪

♪ Who the fucking hell are you ♪

♪ Who the fucking hell are you ♪ Hey English, shut the fuck up.

Fuck you, Russian wanker.

Oy Ed, what's Russian for cunt?

I think it's spelled D, A, V, I, E.

Not sure how you pronounce it though.


Russian for cunt!

Oy mate, in the next cell.

You're a (speaking in a foreign language).

I'm Polish, and I speak fucking English, you idiot.

Don't stop you being a cunt, does it?

Davie mate, shut the fuck up, or I'll knock you out.

You're getting on my nerves.

You're the main reason we're in here.

You don't see them Russians looked at me in the hotels.

Did you not see that?

What, so anyone who looks at you funny that's a fucking reason to kick off, is it?

Technical, mom gives me that.

What did you fuckin' say?

You fuckin' prick.

Agent 58, I need to speak to Malloy.

Hotel, echo, November, nine, nine.

Sir, this is not the gulag, just some drug hangout.

Nothing here but junkies.

Yes, sir.

Yes chief, let's have it.

Come to release us?

What'd we do?

What's all that?

Fuck off with your fucking camera.


What's all that about?

What's that?

What the fuck is this?



Yes, mate.

Jeff, come on man, wake up.


All right, fuck off.

It's you I know.

You all right?


Fuck this.

Davie, wait.

What the fuck?

Who are you?

Davie, calm down.

Who the fuck are you, and where are we?

Davie, stop being a cunt just for two seconds till we find out what's going on.

Tom's right.

Why don't you give it a rest you fuckin' halfwit.

All I see is four of them and five of us.

And a Beretta, 15 rounds in a clip, enough to do all of us and then some.

All right Mr. SA fuckin' S, why don't you show us your stones then, hey grandad, hey!

Go on!

Yeah, we don't speak Ruskie, mate.

There is no way out.

We must wait for my boss Dimitry.

If you are calm before he arrives, then no one gets hurt.

If you do not listen, I will shot not to kill just to injure so you may be conscious for Dimitry's questions.

What the fuck is happening here Ed?

Some nasty Russian's pointing a gun at your head, Jeff.

So do as he says.

Fuck this.



You, translate.

Let us out.

Help me.

He needs an ambulance!

What are we gonna do?

Boys, Davie mate, please stay awake.

Stay awake, Davie.

Get us out of here.

It's locked from the outside.

No one's getting out of here, not even us.

We have to wait for Dimitry.

And, who's Dimitry?

It's the boss.

Your turn.

Ed, what are we doing?

Get him in the van.

Vince mate, we will be next if we don't hurry.

Vince, we all love Davie, but we haven't got time to think about what's just happened.

He's gone.

He's dead.

Get him in the back of the van, out of sight.

It's not gonna do you any good to dwell on it.

This wasn't us.

They did this, and they will do the same to us.

You think this Dimitry character is gonna be happy about what we've done to his boys?

Tom, help Vince out with Davie.

Can't we just hot wire this thing and ram it against the door?

You're gonna need a stick of dynamite to get through that thing.

I was a site foreman.

Big fuck off drill might do it.

I don't see of those laying about.

Gimmie a hand.

Cut me some seat belts and some wire.

What are you going to do now?

Find us a way out.

What are we gonna do, boys?

We're gonna wait for Ed to do his thing.

Now you're going to tell me how my friends and I can escape this little pickle we've found ourselves in.

What is Russian for exit?


Speak nice and clearly for me.

He's been tortured himself, you know?

Told me one night while he was out of his nut on disco biscuits.

This is where we muse at the efficacy and morality of torture.

I ain't got a clue

what you just said.

Just be glad he's on our side.

All right.

Boys, I'm not up for this.

I sit at a computer desk all day staring at spreadsheets.

Vince, we're fuckin' in it, mate, whether you like it or not.

There are three warehouses all joined together but no exits.

There are at least two guards armed with assault rifles on watchtowers around the perimeter.

I didn't hear him speak.

I've seen it with my own eyes.

That sounds a health and safety nightmare.

There's a service hatch.

It's used for maintenance.

It does not lead to the outside, but it does lead to the next warehouse.

This is not good for you.

Dimitry is the only one that can command the doors to be opened.

We are all captives here.

Good enough.

Where is this service hatch?

Ask him.

All right Ed, what are we gonna do about Davie?

Well, we can't take him with us now, can we?

We can't just leave him here?

Yes, we can just leave him here.

This is fucked up.

There must be another way out of this.

Listen to Ed.

I'm good.

Well, let's just stand around here moping about.

Yeah all right, point taken.

But, why not we just hold on for just one second, yeah?

Hold on, what Jeff?

Come on.

Follow me.

Listen, can't we just wait for this Dimitry character to show up, and when he opens the door, we just jump the bastard?

Guards with guns, Jeff.

You saw what happened to Davie.

Yeah, but I don't see why we should have to run and hide.

We ain't done fuck all wrong.

I don't think these lot care too much about that, Jeff.

We've got a corrupt copper and a Russian mentalist so far in the middle of fucking we don't know where.

And, I, for one, don't fancy using this thing against a bunch of Russians with tactical gear.

But, go ahead.

Now this Dimitry has clearly made this door a bottle neck, so we're gonna have to find another way out.

But, if you want to Butch and Sundance it, mate, be my guest.

Come on.

Too soon for a joke?

Why, go on.

It's not about Davie, may he rest in peace.

He'd have ended up in prison soon enough anyway.

But, he'd still be alive at least, and that would've been his choice.

We're in this mess because of him.

We're in this mess because you started that fight back in France.

What you on about, you fucking diff?

They ain't the same fucking Russians.

There's more than one dickhead bunch of Russians.

You don't know that.

They could be the same.

Shut up you idiots.

So, what's the joke?

What's this tunnel and Vince's mom got in common?

They've both had four geezers stuck inside 'em at once.

Again, with the mom jokes.

Give it a rest, you fucking retard.

That's what she fucking said.

No time for short jokes.

English, show yourselves.

You are rats in a maze.

I am the Minotaur.

You are the hunted.

I am the hunter.

I think he's mixing his metaphors.

I don't think he gives a fuck mate.

Two years ago, you killed my comrade.

Now it is your time to die.

So it is the same fucking Russians.

You're right.

I concede.

That's big for you, Jeff.

Someone give us a hand with this.


If some guy spots us, it's game over, boys.

Get changed.

What do we do now?

We need to split up and look for an exit.

There must be a way out.

No, I'm not up for this.

What happened to armed guards, and assault rifles, and all that?

There has to be another way out.

If we stay in here, we're dead.

Yeah, but none of us know where the fuck we're going.

We'll take it in sections.

We'll meet back here in five minutes.



Where's Tom?

I don't know.

Give him a minute or so.

He might've found something.

Any luck?

Fuck all.

Everywhere's bolted.

It's like a fucking fortress.

Or a prison.

Yeah, right.

That didn't sound good.

Ed, where the fuck you going?


Where are your friends?

Did you kill my comrade in France?

That was my brother.

Did you kill my brother?

Are you a warrior?

Tom, on your feet.

Don't fuck about.

Come here.

Get off me.

I can help you, or I can break your arm right now.

No, please.

Let him go.

You're empty.


All rounds expended.

What about now?

We need to get out of here.

They're gonna be all over this place in seconds.


Tom, go and get the others.

We'll be in here.

What are you gonna do?

Just quick as you can.


Your boys killed my friend.

And, your lot killed Dimitry's brother.

So that was a good fucking move, wasn't it?

I'm guessing he's talking about two years ago in self defence.

He was about to kill Jeff.

I should be at the football.

I don't need to explain to you what's going on here.

You've seen it for yourself.

These people are slaves.

Dimitry runs things.

I am here to put a stop to it.

Yeah, that's what it looks like.

Well, I'll just get this computer working.

You can type all that up.

Two years, I've been working at this.

Boris, I was in with Boris.

All I have to do is get the location to MI6.

Secret agent, yeah?

It's called an intelligence officer, Ed.

But, you already know that.

You're not long out yourself, are you?

Seeing as you're out of the regiment, you're back in the shit.

I'd say about three years ago.

What the fuck are we doing with her?

I can help you.

Yeah, after what you lot did to Davie?

If it wasn't for you fuckwits, I could've made a call by now.

I would've swiped Dimitry's satellite phone, called the location into HQ.

Oh yeah, that old chestnut.

Can you find a way out?

It's my first time here.

I know as much about the layout as you do.

Well then you have absolutely no fucking use to us, are ya?

I can still get close to Dimitry.

I can help you from afar.

We need to get out of here.

Please, he has a satellite phone before you interrupted...

I just don't get why he's so pissed off with us.

Apparently, it was Dimitry's brother we killed in France.

Technically speaking, you killed his brother in France.

You and the rest of those Russians are bad news.

What do you bring to the party?

I'm an accountant.

And you?

Tap dancer, what's if fucking got to do with you?


Hello, don't you want to know what I can bring to the table?

Ed, what are we gonna do?

Ed, if we let this bitch go, she is gonna lead that bastard right to us.

He's gonna find you anyway.

None of us are getting out of here alive.

Ed, all I have is from Boris.

I found it in the safe about a week ago.

I haven't had a chance to analyse it yet.

It wasn't enough for six to have the layout, they need the exact location.

I thought that would show me a way back out, but this place is locked up tight.





Shut up.

Ed listen.

The longer we stay in here, the more we end up like sitting ducks.

You got that right.

Do you reckon you can get his phone then, get us out of here?

I can try.

Well I can't just sent you back.

Keep him busy.

Hopefully in the chaos, I can swipe the phone.

You sure about this?



You can't just send me back without a scratch it would look suspect.

We need our struggle to look authentic like we fought, and I'm lucky to be alive.

This is fucked.

I'm sorry.

Vince hits harder than that.

His mom does.

Why is it always my mom?

We have to do whatever it takes.

Hey man, this is dark.

Whatever it takes, Ed.

Let's just hope this works.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Somewhere on this wall is a way into the next building.

What the fuck?

I think he's forgot we don't speak Russian.

There's the door.

I'm gonna find something to help open it.

What did he just say?

You die, or we all do.

I just needed more time.

I couldn't get the phone.

I can still do this.

I've come this far.

Just think of all those people suffering because of Dimitry.

You do what you think is right.

All of those people, Ed.

We can all still get out of this.

You can't trust him to keep his word.

I'm sorry.

Whatever it takes.


Ed, Ed!

Stay down.

Still think he trust you?

He's coming.

How do we get out of this one?

For fuck's sake, Jeff.

Keep pressure on the wound.

Bright ideas?

I need a distraction.



Ed, you all right?

Oh, fuck!


Oh, fuck!

Shit, move, move.

They're both down.

I have no idea if they're dead.

Come on.

Quick, quick.


You gotta keep pressure on the wound.

We're go and look for more medical supplies.

He's losing a lot of blood.

Ed, Ed, listen I know none of this is your fault, mate.

Shut up talking bollicks.

You'll be fine.

Jeff, I'm not gonna like this is gonna hurt like fuck.

Bite down.

What the fuck are you doing, Ed?

On three.

No, no.

What the fuck are you doing?

Oh fuck.

Ed mate, is there something you're not telling us about?

Did they feed you funny pills in the SAS or what?

I'm just doing what needs to be done to keep us alive, Vince.

This building has six floors probably something to do with more drug stuff, something they want to hide.

It'll be dug into the ground to avoid heat signatures.

Standard evasion for the thermals on our surveillance drones.

It means more places for us to hide though, yeah?

More places for us to get lost more like.

If it is heat they're trying to avoid, there'll be some kind of vent whether it's a human sized vent or some other clever device, we won't know until we look around.

It could be a machine.

There's literally hundreds of ways you can expel heat from underground.

Oh fuck.

All right, we're gonna go look for more medical supplies.

Tom, you stay with this lot, yeah.

Just in case.

What about you?

I'll whim it as always.

It usually works.

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

I'm loving it.


Eat, sleep, buy some guns, stab your mate with a player.

Happens all the time.

We are going no where fast unless we find Dimitry's satellite phone.

I know.

We're gonna have to wait for him to come to us and somehow avoid being butchered.

He's got more firepower than us, and this is his domain.

What is this place called?

According to the map, it's called The Traffic.

I think there's an ebb and flow of people here.

Boris, he used to joke about how many women he fucked when he was back here like he was part of their initiation or something.

He sounds a lovely bloke.

Oh yeah, one of the best.

So guns, drugs, and people trafficking.

Everything is about money and control with these people.

Nothing else matters.

So you think there may be some other people here, people that could help?

Maybe people who are scared out of their wits.

Russia is a breeding ground for sex slaves.

We are in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Boris drove us out here.

There's nothing for miles.

It's the perfect place for a hub like this.

All the drugs and the people are under Dimitry's control.

After all this time and effort, Dimitry's gonna kill us all.

If we die, all of this is for nothing.

Well then we don't die.

We get the phone, we call it in, save the day.

Poet of your squadron, were you?

The reality is mostly drinking tea and fartin' waiting for something to do.

I got that down to a fine art.

There's no good tea in Russia, Ed.

He's gonna need some water at least.

Where the fuck are they?

They'll be back just be patient.


Tom, Tom?

Where the fuck you going?

What are you doing?

Buy you some time.

Fuck it.

I'm gonna lead them a merry dance.

I'll be back for some water.

Be careful.

The same in every language.

I just want to go home.

Sounds like your girl.

Yeah, I think so.


Make like you're with Dimitry.


Personally attending the new batch.

One of these girls must know a way out.



Fuck it.

Thank you.

You okay?


It's just the look I was going for.




My friend is in urgent need of medicine.

Do you know where we can find any?

Anything to ease the pain?

Yes, they drug the girl.

They drug me too.

Two days I have been here.

Hey, hey, that's enough.

He has keys.

Get the keys.

Medicine, you know where?


What about others?

We'll come back for them.

Had to be vodka.


Nothing on the radio for about 10 minutes.

I don't like this.

Oh well, could be worse.


We should get back.

I ain't got not fucking clue what you're saying, mate

Point the gun at the floor, Vince.

Where's Tom?

He went looking for water.

Get me out of this.



She's not gonna bite you, Vince.

Fuck a duck, that hurts.

No time to fuck ducks, Vince.

It's a figure of speech.

They've got Tom.

He said if we don't face him in 10 minutes, he's gonna kill him.

He's got Tom?

He said hand to hand, bare hands, this warrior thing he's obsessed with.

Not content with the speed of a bullet.

Wants it up close and personal, does he?

What are we gonna do?

Come with me a minute.

The reason I joined up in the first place was because I thought I had a screw loose.

So I went to war, fought for my country,

and then watched as one by one my mates were killed in front of me.

These boys, these boys have been here since day one, school mates, you know?

Always there to pick me up when it weren't going so well.

And, I will do anything to get 'em out of here.

I get like a tunnel vision, like blind rage, you understand?

Got it.

The kip out diet.

Sorry it's been days.

Where is he?

He said basement level minus two.

So he's below us knowing full well that there's no exit on this floor or the next.



So now what?

Jump up and down, hope for asbestos.

I don't fuckin' know, Vince.

Give me a minute.

Let's give up the ghost, mate.

All you need is a sat phone, right?


If we go, we're fucked.

If we stay here, then they kill Tom, and then they come looking for us, and we're fucked.



This is what we're gonna do.

♪ You are a cunt ♪

♪ You are a cunt ♪

♪ Nobody likes you 'cause you are a cunt ♪

♪ You are a cunt ♪

♪ You are a cunt ♪

♪ Nobody likes you 'cause you are a cunt ♪

♪ You are a cunt ♪

♪ Nobody likes you 'cause you are a cunt ♪

♪ Nobody likes ♪

♪ You are a cunt ♪

Fuck you!

♪ You are a cunt ♪

♪ Nobody likes ♪

♪ You are a cunt ♪

♪ Nobody likes you 'cause you are a cunt ♪

You all right, Tom?

Peachy mate, peachy.

He's been teaching me the.

Going well, is it?

Not bad, mate.

He wants to play Russian roulette.

No, no!

Ladies first.

No, no, hold on, mate, take me first.

Tom, Tom!

It's like being bitten by your mom.

Shut up, you cunt.


Come on!

You and me.

Now would be good!

Oh definitely.

Agent 58, I need to speak to Malloy.

Hotel echo, November, nine, nine.

Have found location.

Repeat, have found location.

Trace this call.

Trace this call.

The old axe in the heart trick.


Vince mate, you good?

Yeah, I'm good.

You know Natalia, I meant make the hole

with the axe and pass the gun through, not the other way around.

I'm sorry it was easier for me this way.

You did okay.

So kind.

So what now?

We wait for the cavalry.

How long's that gonna take?

They didn't say.

How long's that sort of thing normally take?

How long's a piece of string for fuck's sake.

If anything not friendly walks through that door, shoot it.

What am I gonna use?

How long's it take to bleed out?

It depends.

Just stop talking, mate.

You'll be fine.

Unless there's another load of guards on the way.

In which case...

Here, use this.

Cheers, mate.



Do you reckon your mom will visit me in hospital?

Fuck off.

That didn't sound Russian.