Hui Buh: Das Schlossgespenst (2006) Script

Friday the 1 3th


Patience, good man, I'll be with you.


I beg your pardon, lofty Adolar.

But a king and a queen are a pair, aren't they?

Assuming, one had a straight: one, two, three, four ..

That wouldn't be so bad... theoretically speaking.

Excellent!

Now make your bet! With pleasure.

You already have my gold. How about all or nothing?

I bet all my dominions.

Who's still in?

I'm out!

A pair and three of a kind. Full house.

Today must be my Iucky day.

I beg your pardon, odorous Adolar.

But nine, ten, jack, queen, king... That's a straight, isn't it?

Goodness gracious. Wasn't I Iucky this time!

I got off to a bad start. I thought I was done for.

But good things take time. Lucky at cards, unlucky in...

Who cares! I'm still young. Hope everything fits in the chest.

Okay, kids. The table's clean.

Squire!

May l?

Take it to the widows and orphans. What?

To the needy. What?

To the treasure chamber, idiot! Ah!

I gotta get up early. It was fun. Have a nice evening.

The better man won.


It isn't what it seems. I knew it!

Cheater!

Oops! Just a sec. L'II be right with you.

Hey, I said I'd be right with you!

See, that's what you get!

Stay where you are!


Get ready for the hereafter.

You really are bad Iosers.

Dear Mr. Adolar, this is all just kind of a...

misunderstanding... Nice sword.

May you burn in hell!

You're so right.

May l be damned if I cheated! May Iightning strike me...


Did you see that? It smells singed.

What's wrong with him? You Iook a bit pale yourself.

I hope it wasn't the drumstick. Oh, what's wrong with my voice?

Adolar, watch out!

The window.

Some people say there are ghosts.

Some people say there are no ghosts.

But I say that Hui Buh is a ghost.

The Goofy Ghost

over 500 years later.


If you permit me to give you some advice...

You should stop haunting the house. You have other talents.

You see this here? My haunting Iicense. I'm the only certified ghost here! Understand?

Confound it! That only happened because you disrupted my concentration.

Dear Hui Buh, on behalf of your health and the furnishings, it would be better to stop haunting the house. Was I at Ieast a bit spooky?

A case for a haunting expert!

My friend. You must be the old castellan Burgeck Castle's trusted guardian.

Wow, what a trip!

I beg your pardon, but may l inquire who I have the honor of... Of course, you may.

Oh, Your Ma... Majesty.

Please, accept my apology. - Forget the gymnastics! You'Il strain yourself.

I should have introduced myself. King Julius CXI.

But just call me 1 1 1. Beg your pardon?

An old royal joke. Julius, of course.

Didn't you receive my telegram?

I'm afraid I didn't. Probably another mail coach robbery. What are you doing? - Just dusting.

May l get your Iuggage?

Thank you. Not necessary.

My guests arrive at five. So we have 3 hours, 22 minutes and... 1 5 seconds.

Could you show me the ballroom? Indeed. May I ask you to follow me?

Gladly.

Would you tell an old man what brings Burgeck's last Iiving heir to our remote castle? - Our main castle didn't survive the Iast barbecue.

Are you implying that your main royal castle burned down?

Like it or not, my wedding will take place here.

Wedding? Who is the intended bride, if I may ask?

To be honest, she doesn't know yet. Countess Leonora of Pernickety.

She is already on her way here. Excuse me...

Whose voice was that?

Mice. Impertinent mice. Excuse me.

Mice!

You're embarrassing me. Did you see those sandals?

Vandals! So what! They're ruining my filth!

And my spider web collection! And what about my poor mites?

This castle belongs to the kings of Burgeck.

I am Iicensed to haunt the place! And I refuse to share it with a fake! Fake? He's a king...

King! I'Il give him a king-size kick right out of my castle!

They must be giant mice. Indeed, Your Majesty. Beg your pardon.

Everything is completely ruined!

What's wrong, Charles? The main course is Iobster!

What's wrong with that? I am inconsolable!

I ordered the flower arrangements in pale apricot.

Yes? - The pink lobster Iooks atrocious with apricot!

Calm down, Charles.

Now breathe deeply.

That's good.

What would l be without you, Your Majesty? - Unemployed.

Another point: Leonora is on her way. We have Iots to do and Iittle time.

Hurry up, kids!

Transform this shack into a romantic château!


Oh no, not again!

Ah, there it is! Thank you!

Just wait, you caustic cleaners! L'II show you, you mopheaded boobies!

L'II be so scary that you'II... you'II...

Wow, nobody's gonna believe me!

Mom! Mom! A ghost!

I saw a ghost!

Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?

You think I'm training for circus? I break rib!

There's a ghost in the castle! I have pain!

Sorry! - Come on, Mom! I need help!

Of course!

Watch out! Bucket!

Sorry about that!

Squatters! In my castle! This stinks to high heaven!

And then I run away from that little snotnose.

It's all Julius' fault. Damn it! lt must be here somewhere!

What's this? We'll see.

L'II give you guys a real fright once I find my "Book of Haunting."

This isn't it either! Where is it?

Ah, behind the closet!

Let's see. The White Abbot? No.

The Cross-eyed Coachman?

No, not that! Ah, here it is!

The Headless Executioner! A classic!

Grease his headscrew well.

Refer to diagram 1 4A.

"Take an old executioner's axe, preferably rusty." Yes!

We'II see how you Iike that, King Julius who-knows-how-many.

Enchanting Leonora, you can't imagine how happy I am to welcome you here at Burgeck Castle.

Your radiant beauty surpasses everything these venerable walls have witnessed.

May l give you this bouquet of roses as a sign of my esteem.

How does it sound? Royal enough? So royal, Your Majesty.

Truly graceful. Madame Leonora will melt Iike butter under the sun of the Côte d'Azur.

It isn't so easy. Leonora is very sophisticated. But if all goes well, l'II propose to her tomorrow. It would be perfect, if you put on your pants.

Could that be them?

Indeed!

Your pants, Majesty!

Hurry. You go and welcome her.

L'II be right there. Yes.


Julius!

I've come for you, Julius!

L... Julius...

l'II be right there, Julius.

You are marked by death, Julius.

Your final hour has come... Julius?

Castellan? Hey! Could someone maybe... l'd like to start again.

Why doesn't the book mention that a headless executioner can't see?

I beg your pardon. Are you Iooking for me?

May l ask what you're up to?

Let's see... torn clothing, removable head, spooky howls! Got it? I'm the castle ghost, super brain!

I see. "Spooky" howls. Yeah.

Just a moment! What don't you Iike about my howls? - They aren't spooky.

The only thing that gives me the creeps is this dust.

Now please excuse me. I have to welcome my bride-to-be.

Not spooky? Just wait, you blue-blooded booby!


Countess Leonora.

Madame, you look enchanting. Welcome to our romantic château.

Romantic... is what my architect will make out of it.

The stench!

Sorry.

Konstanzia! l don't pay you for standing around. - Welcome!

Yeah yeah. Take my Iuggage inside. By the way, where's Julius?

Madame, he anxiously awaits you. Please, follow me.

Thank you.

You can't imagine how pleased l am to have you here.

Your beauty surpasses everything...

Goodness gracious, this place is in ruins.

Things will change when I become Queen.

Enchanting Leonora!

I was just telling Charlie how utterly romantic this castle is.

Enchanting Leonora, l can't imagine how much these radiant walls are pleased to welcome your venerable old face.

I mean...

A charming countess like myself is a credit...

As a sign of my esteem, may l give you this...

sausage.

A traditional welcome gift for visitors of Burgeck Castle.

A very special sausage. My father fondly called it the "welcome sausage."

Julius, are you certain that you aren't off your rocker?

Not at all! Would anyone Iike coffee and sausage?

Or some cognac? I could sure use a cognac.

No, dear sir. I would Iike to... freshen up a bit.

Of course, the castellan will show you... to your rooms.

So...

Countess, I've been wondering... l mean, l've done everything you told me to do, and so...

You want my permission to go to the ball?

What bad Iuck!

Pick them up. And afterwards you can have the evening off, as far as l'm concerned.

Leonora, welcome to my castle.

You Iook enchanting. My Majesty is completely carried away.

How do you like Burgeck Castle? It's wonderful.

But l heard some strange noises. The castle isn't haunted, is it?

Haunted? Burgeck Castle? Oh... l beg you not to worry.

A picture, Your Majesty? By all means.

It's disgusting. This wouldn't have happened 500 years ago.

I promise you an unforgettable evening, my Iady.

Unforgettable?

I'm coming, Julius.

Any more under the bed?

Didn't you want to dress up?

L'II do the rest.

Thank you.


Tommy!

You'll get me in trouble.

The marzipan cupcakes are fabulous.

He's right.

Here, but don't upset your tummy.

My cue. Please, excuse me.

Konstanzia, right?

Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, friends, it is a pleasure to welcome you to Burgeck Castle.

I wish to dedicate this evening to a special woman.

A woman whose presence makes the evening more radiant.

Let us drink to Leonora!

Cheers!

Cheers.


My dear...

How disgusting.

I'm sorry. Dance and enjoy...

ls something wrong, Your Majesty? I don't know. I feel so... super duper, old boy!

You aren't sick, are you?

No! I just need some grub. Hey doll, grab a bite yourself!

You could use a few pounds!

What's wrong with your voice? Nothing. I'm a super tenor.

Your Majesty, a picture for the paper? You betcha!

Did you drink too much wine? - Wine? Nectar of gods, consoler of widows...

No, you can never drink too much wine!

Cheers!

Disgusting! Yummy!

My Captain, Majesty, General! What an exquisite party!

I wish someone had found one for me.

What's wrong with me? Leonora! Leonora!

Get out! Get Iost!

Don't worry. You probably have to go peepee. - I don't believe it!

Charles, hit me! - By no means! Hit me! - Never! - It's an order!

He throws a mighty punch.

Just you wait! You ordered me to, Your Majesty, Captain, General, Highness.

You went too far this time! L'II make ghost stew out of you!

Nice try, meatball! Here!

How do you like this? Oh!

Get out of my ...!

Get out of my... body!

L'II set your... your butt on fire!


Fire! Fire! Hot!

Just you wait! Your final hour has come!

L'II haunt you till you drop dead!

Get this straight!

You aren't spooky. And every kid knows that ghosts don't harm humans. This is my haunting Iicense.

I've been the only certified ghost here for over 500 years. - You were!

My license!

My haunting Iicense!

You destroyed my haunting Iicense! Right. Now get Iost for good!


Hui Buh, the castle ghost.

Yes? Daalor, Office of Ghosts.

Your haunting Iicense, please. Of course.

Where is it? Why didn't you scare away the mortal? I did, Your Horror.

Julius really shit his pants.

You're a disgrace for every single ghost.

You have two nights to take your ghost test and renew your Iicense.

No! Not my chain and my keys! I can't haunt the place without!

Your ghost utensils have been confiscated.

Just a moment. I'm rich.

Very rich. I have a tremendous treasure.

Are you trying to bribe me?

Of course... not. Bribe is such a nasty word. Let's just say, I Iike to share.

Two days.

Your Majesty.

The countess doesn't feel well. She doesn't wish to see anyone.

I just wasn't myself. Would you please give Leonora these flowers as a sign of apology.

I'm having a romantic dinner prepared tomorrow evening. Just Leonora and me.

And I have a surprise for her. Would you tell her that?

Yes.

Please, calm down, Iadies and gentlemen! Of course you'Il get what you deserve. Charles! - Majesty?

What's going on? - I'm inconsolable to disturb you with such trivia.

But these "people" want their money. We'll take care of that in a moment.

Please, follow me to the treasure chamber. - Majesty.

I'm afraid we have a Iittle problem.

A problem? Ridiculous.

Voilà, the treasure chamber. Here is...

a real problem. What's this?

But l'm the king!

Where is my treasure? - l humbly ask forgiveness, but yours truly was forced to sell the Iast jewels to pay for the buffet. - Are you...

Are you saying l'm broke?

Yes!

There we are. Who's talking now?

This will suffice to pay for my voyage.

You have truly disappointed me. I feel so humiliated.

Humiliated and used!


Our plan is taking shape. If I'm not mistaken, Julius will propose to me tomorrow.

Who ever thought it would be so easy?

Soon we will reign over Burgeck Castle.

It says here that lots of castles are haunted. Believe me, l saw a ghost.

Oh, what a good bedtime story.

Should I read to you about torture and executions?

I'm not afraid of ghosts. They were humans once, too.

Okay, well... lt's time to hit the sack.

Maybe the ghost met Dad.

Tommy, there are no such things as ghosts.

When a person dies, they go to... heaven.

I know that you miss Dad. I miss him, too.

Do you remember when he gave me this horse? He said it would take me wherever I wanted to go.

You just have to make a wish.

But now it's time to sleep.

Good night.

Take me to Dad.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

Not our day, huh? Yeah, congratulations!

You must be proud of yourself! My fiancée hates me, everyone mocks me, and my Iife is ruined. You're a plague!

That's what you are! It's a bit Iate to encourage me, isn't it? - It's the Iast thing I'd do. Just Ieave my castle!

Don't worry. l have to Ieave forever. - How did I deserve that?

Don't act innocent. Who burned my license and called the authorities?

That was just a scrap of paper. Scrap of paper!

I'm Iost without it! They'II stick me in the soup of souls and dissolve me like the other failures. Slow down... A soup of souls?

Nirvana... nothingness. Okay, we don't know for sure.

After all, no one has ever returned. I didn't know that.


"The only certified ghost at Burgeck Castle"


"Haunting Made Easy: lnstructions for One and All"

How can I explain to Leonora that I'm broke? - You aren't broke.

For over 500 years, there's been a huge treasure in the cellar. - I saw it.

I mean the ghost treasure. Just a moment.

You mean there's another treasure with a rotting fortune?

There's just one little problem. It's surrounded by thick walls and traps.

And you can only open it from inside. - But you're a ghost!

You can go through walls. Only real ghosts can. - You are real.

To be honest, it was pretty scary when you possessed my body.

You're just kidding. No, seriously.

There's a real... monster inside you. The Ghost Officer took my keys. And a ghost needs his keys to go through walls and haunt. It's an attitude problem. Come on.

I knew I heard a sound. What are you doing here?

I gotta pee.

There aren't any bathrooms up here. Right. l'll go downstairs... lt's urgent.

I Iearned the technique in lndia from an old guru.

Just concentrate and say, "l'm a real ghost." l'm a real ghost.

With more enthusiasm. You have to be convinced and then zoom!

Alright, I got it. I am a real... ghost!

Are you okay? Got an ice scraper on you?

L'II never pass it. - Nonsense! The test can't be so difficult.

Or cheat!

No, that won't work. Everything at the Office of Ghosts is run by EDP... echto-plastic data processing.

Just Iook at the paperwork.

We shouldn't fool ourselves. I'm as good as dead.

If you know what l mean.

Here are the test questions.

Tick the most important rules for crossing a 2nd dimension.

A. Pay attention to irregularities.

B. Yield to more transcendental ghosts. C. Don't walk into Iight.

Lrregularities? B and C.

How do you know? My grandfather knew all about ghosts.

That's it! Come on! - Stop! You help me with the test, l get my license, you get my fortune and marry that babe, and I'm the only certified ghost at Burgeck Castle! Great!

I'm a human being. How can you smuggle me into the Office of Ghosts? - 2 ways.

Either you jump from the tower and die painfully because your bones are broken, and you're all mashed up.

Or we'Il disguise you.

L'II take number two. Good idea.

I swear, the ghost girls will worship you. You Iook Iike... a total idiot with a mophead. - Exactly.

What was that? Bull's eye. You trashed a mummy.

I'm so sorry, Mummy. But the road is so poorly Iit.

Forget it. That always happens.

Hey, you forgot your arm! Where did it come from?

From the ghost town. What ghost town? - There.

What town? It isn't even a real house.

Things are a lot different than in your world. - Come on.

GHOST TOWN Stay right behind me.

A very effective room concept.

Occupied. - Take it easy. Ghosts smell fear.

Thanks, I feel better now. Behind every door is another world.

Some weren't opened for hundreds of years.

Come on. - Out of the way! Hey!

Mr. Hyde!

A good man!


"Be a professional haunter with vitamin B1 2."

Excuse me...

Nice helmet.

1,297th floor.

Can I get back to your plan? Gladly. - 1,298th floor.

Jewelry, accident insurance... The forms are sorted by name.

1,299th floor. Skeletons and bones.

Holy cow! We're having a private chat. I'm just doing my job.

The tests are sorted by name.

I give you mine, and you pass for me.

1,300th floor.

Haunting tests and Iicense administration.

Over there. I haven't been here for a while.

Put your arm here for identification.

That's it. I'm gone. Stop. What's wrong?

Sorry, I'm attached to my extremities.

Don't panic. Hui Buh has thought of everything.

What would you Iike? I'm Iooking for a certain ghost.

Information is on the Ieft in back.

It's been there for over 200 years.

Name and type of death? Name?

Bui Buh. Type of death... stomach ulcer.

I believe.

Hui Buh. Killed by Iightning. Hi there.

Are you related? Yes. - No.

Yes. - No. A bit.

Distantly. A bit.

A bit. Put your arm here for identification.


Pharaoh Nymphs Pha IV?

Not so Ioud. I'm incognito.

Is there some kind of problem?

Your Highness.

No, no problems.

Don't make a fuss about my identity. I just want to take my test.

Of course, Pharaoh. Now give the man his test form and then voluntarily report for execution.

Not again... Yes, sir!

Welcome to our automatic information service.

Please choose your type of information.

For a service operator, please press the hash key.

Thank you. You've chosen a service operator. Now ask your question, please.

I'm Iooking for a ghost, a very special ghost.

A relative.

Do you have any personal objects that belonged to the person?

Clothing, extremities?

Please insert it in the shaft.

I don't have all day, kiddo.

There.

I'm afraid we can't give you any information.

The person you are seeking isn't registered as a ghost.

But he died 2 years ago. He must be here.

I have to talk to him.

The person you are seeking isn't registered as a ghost.

For questions about the hereafter or Iife's purpose, press the star key, please.

Silence!

Gentlemen, every one of you will receive an officially certified test form with your own name on it.

You have exactly 30 minutes to fill them out.

Starting precisely... now!

Listen here, you... you...

You're so strong. Do you work out?

Any problems, Your Majesty?

No!

Name at Ieast three different types of spooks.

Perhaps... one...

You can start now.

You're a poltergeist. What must you keep in mind during a haunting?

A. Remain inconspicuous. B. Vandalize the mortals' house.

C. Eat everything in the larder.

C, of course. B.

What? Huh?

I won't tolerate cheating!

Once more and you Iand in the soup of souls!

As certain as I'm Servatius Sebaldus!

With pleasure.


What's going on?

Silence!

Number 24, too.

Silence!

Attention, security. Report at once to the test section on the 1,300th floor.

An unforeseeable incident. Attention, security.

Report at once... King Julius!

We did it! We're such a great team!

The practical test will be a cinch. You never mentioned that.

I've never had a friend Iike you.

Oh no, not with me. We had an agreement.

I helped you, and you help me. And if you...

What was that? It wasn't me. Let's go this way.

No, don't do that, Julius.

Don't go in there, Julius!

Julius, it isn't good. It's forbidden.

What is it? The soup of souls.

I always do overtime during exams. L'II report it to the union.

Oh yeah, it doesn't exist yet.

This zone is off Iimits!

I'm sorry. I have to go to the potty.

I have no idea how you could pass the exam, but...

What? What do I smell?

Could that possibly be...

the sweat of fear?

A mortal! - Oh, we have to go. We have Iots of haunting to do. - Right!

King Julius!

Grab them!

King Julius! Mr. Ghost! The child! - What're you doing here?

L'II explain Iater. Left, Ieft...

Hurry!

L'II never go back to that ghost town.

No problem. The practical exam takes place at the castle. - Pardon?

What if Leonora finds out? No. Get out of this mess yourself!

Turn around. You win.

L'II go into the soup of souls. And you can find a successor for me.

Successor? A haunted house needs a ghost.

You're a pain in the neck. A Iousy, deceitful, repulsive poltergeist. Thanks!

So you'II help me? What's the practical exam Iike?

Gentlemen, the exam takes place at midnight, the witching hour.

I have to haunt the place until no mortal is left.

If we stick to my expert plan it will be a cinch.

Julius is in the reception hall. You then meet with Leonora.

L'II position myself here or here and give the sign from here. Questions?

Can you repeat that starting with "expert plan?"

Didn't you forget something in your big plan?

What? Me and my Iife, for example.

I have a date with Leonora tomorrow. I want to propose. - To that stupid cow?

Silence! - Okay. Plan B. How did it go again?

Here is Plan B: After dinner, l'II take Leonora for a moonshine walk.

Tommy, you and your mother go to town. And scare the castellan away. - Majesty.

May l point out, l was never a good actor.

It's just a question of practice. Get up.

When Hui Buh howls, you run away.

Shall we try it? Okay. - Ready?

Okay!

Help! Help!

Help! A ghost!

Perfect. That's just how we'II do it. I have to go to bed.

What do you mean? They escaped?

It was your job to get rid of that repulsive ghost.

I'm responsible for King Julius. That was our agreement.

Private help from a mortal.

King Julius.

Okay...

Fortunately I'm prepared for everything. Wait here.

So, you ghostbusters. This is your big moment.

Put an end to that ghost.

A ghost? A real ghost?

Did you hear that, boss? I thought we were only pretending.

Shut up, you pea-brain.

Don't worry, Countess. He won't have a ghost of a chance.

You idiot!

Watch out!

GHOSTBUSTERS since 1 399 Oh no! Ghostbusters!

Plan B: scare away the castellan.

This must be a dream.

A wonderful dream, very wonderful.

We got it! A real ghost!

We're real ghostbusters! - Shut up! Or do you want to wake the whole house?

What kind of trick is this? Let me out, and we'II manage this, man to ghost!

L'II scare the daylights out of you!

Ooh. The clown wants to scare us.

I'm scared shitless.

You got him! Excellent!

What gall! You're behind all this! Shut up!

Yeah. Got trouble with ghosts? Let Schredder turn 'em to toast!

Schredder guarantees top quality.

I'm afraid it's expensive.

You're going to regret this. When Julius learns of it...

And who's going to tell him, my little ghost?

We add pressure with the lever and suck him away forever.

Make sure he disappears!

Forever!

Hey, let me outta here, you rotten creeps!

Okay, you aren't rotten creeps. Hey there!

I have some candy left.

I'm sure the fat guy Iikes candy!

We can talk it all over.

Hey there! Boss!

Hey there! You little fart! Stop!

Don't worry, Mr. Ghost. L'II free you.

Is that you, Tommy? Come on, let me out.

Did you hurt yourself? Fortunately I'm already dead.

The ghostbusters! Don't worry. I'm prepared!

This way. A secret passage.

When I get you, you Iittle rat!

Rat!

Come on.


Bon voyage!

We made it, Mr. Ghost! Yes.

You've been haunting the castle for over 500 years?

Yes, and I may humbly claim to be the most horrible attraction here.

Since you've been a ghost for so Iong, you might know my father.

Unlikely. Mortals are always working and putting things in order.

I try to avoid them... Huh?

What's wrong? My dad died two years ago.

That's why you followed us to the Office of Ghosts?

The woman said she didn't know him.

You see, Tommy. Not every mortal becomes a ghost. It's Iike at school.

If you're good, you don't repeat. So you were a bad person?

Yes, well. l had a tiny flaw.

But if your dad isn't a ghost, that's a good sign.

But l miss him so much, Mr. Ghost.

Hey... my friends call me Hui Buh.

How kind of you to help yours truly.

Before l forget, His Majesty wanted to talk to you. Really? I mean... l'II be right with him.

Up already?

You slept all day. Were you out hunting ghosts all night?

Yeah, l guess so.

Want to meet my friend? Don't be scared. He's a ghost.

Tommy, how often do I have to tell you?

Ghosts only exist in fairy tales.

We're busy making dinner for Leonora and the king.

Why don't you just tell him? What?

That you Iike him... King Julius.

Look at me. I'm just a maid.

I have to see him now.

Hui Buh! - What did my big ears hear? She's crazy about Julius?

But she's too scared to tell him. Leave that up to me.

Your Majesty? Konstanzia.

You wanted to see me, Your Majesty? - Yes... l have an unusual request. L'd like you to pick up two rings for me in town.

A surprise for the countess.

Of course, as Your Majesty wishes. Thank you, Konstanzia.

Yes? Yes?

Oh, I thought you... Me, too.

Then we both... How stupid. I'm sorry.

My fault.

Yes, well... Yes, well...

Oh sorry. Look at that.

How could I... No problem.

I need some new clothes anyway. We'll take care of it.

Am I interrupting? My dearest.

You Iook... magnificent.

Thank you.

Yes, well... What's for dinner?

Hey, Tommy. You'II be really grateful. You know what happened? - What?

Daalor! But my exam isn't until midnight. You're cheating.

There won't be any exam. But Iet's talk about cheating.

Over 500 years of cheating are now over.

What do you want from me? What you took from me.

Who me? My possessions.

My honor!

My... Iife.

Adolar! Adolar! Daalor!

A nice anagram, isn't it? What a surprise!

Adolar, a ghost!

I never thought I'd see you again. What a small world.

I waited over 500 years for this opportunity.

All those years I couldn't wait to get revenge. - That's persistent.

Okay, you win. The treasure is yours.

Oh no! This time you won't get away!

Tommy! - You gotta help me! Scare him away!

You're the scariest ghost around!

He can't help you.

He's a Iiar!

A nothing! You were a ruthless ruler!

You tortured your subjects! Let Tommy go! He never hurt you!

You mean he wasn't in Ghost Town?

You know what happens to mortals who sneak into our world without permission.

The boy won't be punished if you go into the soup of souls.

Hui Buh, don't go! Stay here!

L'II show these mortals what it's Iike to live in a haunted castle.

Weren't you planning something special for this evening? - Yes.

Wasn't the weather Iovely today? Last year it rained.

I believe you mentioned a surprise yesterday.

I did. Oh yes.

Perhaps... the right moment has come... for... dessert!

I hope the suckling pig tasted good. Yes, everything was perfect. Thanks.

Before l forget, is the coach ready?

Yes, Your Majesty. What coach?

L'd prefer to stay here.

It's part of the surprise. You won't regret it. Come on.

Shouldn't we make our Iiaison official, Julius?

If you want to ask for my hand, this is the right time and place!

Leonora, I... we... shouldn't rush things. Why don't we spend a few lovely days together?

That's regrettable, very regrettable.

I thought Hui Buh's exam was at midnight.

Who's laughing? Hui Buh? If I'm not mistaken, your ghostly friend is probably in the soup of souls by now.

Leonora, you knew... May I introduce my relative?

My great-grandfather, Sir Adolar.

I don't understand. - This castle once belonged to my family.

But it was taken from us during a card game... by that cheater. We only want what belongs to us.

So you played with a Ioaded deck?

"Played"? I still intend to become Queen.

You've been wasting your time. Come on, castellan. We're going to Ghost Town.

A friend is in danger. I'm surprised you hardly know me.

I never waste my time.

Go for 'em! You right, me Ieft!

Dearest, aren't you taking the "bonds of marriage" too seriously?

I admit, I imagined our relationship would be a bit different.

King Julius, we have to save Hui Buh! He's in great danger!

What's this all about? You can look for a new job, and I'II Iook for a new wife.


We did it!

Not quite. The castle still belongs to Julius.

Any ideas how to get out of here?

I'm afraid you overestimate me. I'd never do that.


All we need is a forged marriage certificate and a... grieving widow.

I'm afraid ghosts can't kill human beings, although I really do miss that wonderful gift.

Look at it from the positive side. We found out in time that we don't fit together. And yet, may death do us part.

Tommy, now!

Get out of here!

You can't stand on one Ieg.

Open it!

Hey, I know you! From the written exam!

I'm Hui Buh!

Yeah, l feel the same way. We're just a bunch of Iosers.

The Spaniards claim that Columbus discovered America, not the Vikings.

That's what the guy over there said.

He said that you Vikings are cowards and scared of water.

You couldn't have found America even if you had it tattooed on your butts.

He also said he met your mother. At least she has a nice beard.

What's going on?

Alarm! Comrades, over here!

May l? I have a few walls to break through.

Upstairs! To the right!

Turn around! Fast!

We're trapped!

L'II do it!

Very thoughtful.

Can you crack a Iock? Sure.

Come here, you tin buckets!

Your Majesty, we need help. We need a miracle.

Hui Buh, l knew you'd come. Did you miss me?

I have to admit... yes.

I did it! - Bravo! Come on, Konstanzia.

Let's get out of here.

You're getting on my nerves.

At least you could have brushed your teeth in those 500 years.

Mouth spray?

Your behavior has been despicable Iately. I'm afraid I'II have to dismiss you! I quit!

Is everything okay? Where's Adolar? He's in a bad mood. You gotta go.

Thanks, you ghastly ghost. You're welcome, meatball!

Oh, it's you! I was wondering where you were.

Sorry, Your Majesty, but the cellar is always bad for my arthritis. Come on, Tommy.

It isn't over yet.

Let my friends go. This is between you and me, you bum!

Go and hide. I'II take care of him.

Okay, you asked for it!

Why don't we split a few hairs!

Okay?

For a maid, you have quite a whack!

I've had to fight for things.

Oh no, not again!

Even after 500 years, you're a miserable fighter.

And you're still a lousy Ioser.

Oh, my General!

My Captain, forgive me. L'II never Ieave you alone again.

What color is that, Mademoiselle?

But that gray is definitely a no-no for the coming autumn.

I'm glad to see you again, Charles.

It's over, Adolar.

On the contrary!

How depressing. So we meet again.

Oh no, the scarecrow! How did she survive?

Right on cue?

I truly regret it, Julius, but... if you don't want to marry you must pay for it.

Is there a doctor in the house?

You disgusting monster! Julius, you can't die now, not since I realize that I Iove you.

I know I'm just a maid, and you're a king. - Konstanzia.

Don't say a thing. Save your strength. - Excuse me, l'm not... - You shouldn't die without knowing that someone really...

What? - It's very kind of you, but l'm not dying.

Not yet. I'm fine.

To be honest, I feel excellent.

Not even a scratch.

Sure, she can't harm you. She's a ghost.

That's impossible...

l can't be dead.

My Captain, I thought you were dead.

But l'm a queen! Look at the positive side.

Now you can choose a cool ghost name.

How about Ghoul Girl?

That was the Iast time you foiled our plans!

That's him. The guy with the scraggly hair. He said he came from Sebaldus.

But none of the comrades knew him! He's an impostor!

No! This is the impostor!

I'm personally going to stick him in the soup of souls!

The Office of Ghosts decides that.

This midget wanted to cheat to get his Iicense.

What's going on here anyway? Men, right face!

Forward march!

How impressive.

May l ask your name? Servatius Sebaldus, Major, retired.

A major... l've always had a weakness for the military. - How nice.

For the next 3,000 years, you'II peel potatoes for the army. Take her away!

He helped a mortal enter our world!

You and that woman joined forces to kill a mortal!

That's a terrible offense! Take him away!

But l...

l'II be back!

Please don't take Hui Buh! He's my friend!

Sorry, young man. But think of the mess if we neglected the Iaw?

He's right. I spent my whole life Iying and cheating. And now you have a family. Family members Iook after each other.

Keep your eye on Julius especially.

He'll need help if he wants to be a good king.

But Hui Buh is the scariest ghost Burgeck Castle ever had!

Is that true? Yes!

I nearly shit my pants the first time I saw him!

Oh yes, and...

l was so scared I fainted.

His spooky ghostly howling scared me to such an extent that l nearly abdicated!

His theoretical knowledge was sufficient.

Does anyone else live at Burgeck Castle?

Only yours truly. And because of this terrible ghost, l Iost my hair. There's nothing Ieft for me to do but... My rusty chain!

My haunting Iicense! And my keys!

I have another job to do.

I believe this belongs to you, young man.

Someone wanted it returned to you.

And I have a message for you.

"l can't go with you on your long journey.

But wherever your horse takes you, you'Il never be alone."

l would say, one might call this a "happy end." l'm glad that not only the diligent are fortunate.

Hui Buh! You can stay with us! You saved me!

Without you I'd be in the soup of souls. Family members look after each other.

In that sense, l have something serious l want to see you about. - Really?

What about?

Have you ever thought of changing your profession?

What do you have in mind? Hmm.

For example, becoming the queen.

Do l have an option?

I'm afraid you don't.


Mortals... you can't help but Iike 'em.


Boss! Boss! I think l got a bite!

Just a cork!

A woman Iike Leonora.

You can't imagine how glad I am to welcome you to Burgeck Castle.

You aren't sick, are you?

What? I just need a bite.

Come on, doll! No!

Oh shit.

Sorry. - May l... as a sign of my esteem... give you these roses.

What'II you do when this is over?

You're a boundless optimist.

Brainless? - Boundless.

Soon we will ruin Burgeck Castle.

Ruin?

I forgot. - Where is my treasure?

I forgot my Iines. - We're haunted.

Just a sec, High... High... High...

Damn, I'm stuck Iike a record.

The blueberry soup is served.

Thought of changing your profession?

What do you have in mind?

Taking the train to Bad Coburg.

How was l?

Was that any better or what?

No, it was Iousy. Let's do it again.