I Am Not Okay with This S1E4 Script

Stan by Me (2020)

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-laaa ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-la ♪

♪ La-la-la, la-la-laaa ♪

♪ All my lazy teenage boasts ♪

♪ Are now high precision ghosts ♪

♪ And they're comin' round the track ♪

♪ To haunt me ♪

♪ When she looks at me and laughs ♪

♪ I remind her of the facts ♪

♪ I'm the king of rock 'n' roll

♪ Completely ♪

♪ Up from suede shoes ♪

♪ To my baby blues ♪

♪ Hot dog ♪

♪ Hot dog, jumpin' frog ♪

♪ Albuquerque ♪ Syd, homecoming's around the corner, and there's never really been a better time to...

That's fuckin' stupid. It's not a fuckin' clearance sale.

Syd, I know homecoming can be lame, but I was thinking maybe we could be lame together.

♪ All the pathos you can keep ♪ Syd, go to homecoming...

Ugh. That was forceful. - ♪ For the children in the street ♪

♪ New broom, this room ♪

♪ Sweep it clean ♪

♪ Hot dog ♪

- ♪ Hot dog, jumpin' frog ♪ ♪ La-la-la ♪

- ♪ La-laaa ♪ ♪ Albuquerque ♪

♪ The king of rock 'n' roll ♪

- ♪ Hot dog, jumpin' frog ♪ ♪ La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laaa ♪

♪ Albuquerque ♪

- ♪ Yeah! ♪ ♪ La-la ♪

- ♪ Hot dog, jumpin' frog ♪ ♪ La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laaa ♪

- ♪ Albuquerque ♪ ♪ Albuquerque ♪

♪ The king of rock 'n' roll ♪

- ♪ Hot dog, jumpin' frog ♪ ♪ La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la-laaa ♪

♪ Albuquerque ♪

With a blitz he knows is coming...


- He's through! You're home.

You look like a faggot.

Thirty-five, 40, one-on-one!

Great talk, Dad.

Syd, if you don't have plans yet, do you wanna go to homecoming with me?

Okay. Sure. Why not?

Uh, great!

Great. Uh...


So, I'm gonna go find Dina.

Uh... talk... See... see you later.


Yes! All right.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, no. Oh, God.



What the fuck?



How did...

I mean, you... you just...

They were like this when I got there, I... I swear.

They were.

No, no. No, no, I...

I saw it, Syd.

Well, you better keep this a secret, okay?

Not a fucking word! Got it?

Promise me, please!


Okay. I... I promise, Syd.

♪ There's a world I've seen Where I'd rather be ♪

♪ There's a world outside my door ♪

♪ No, it's not on TV or in magazines ♪

♪ I've lived there And loved there before ♪

♪ A world full of happiness ♪

- ♪ A world of love and bliss ♪ Dear Diary, - this thing inside me... ♪ When nights are cold ♪

- ...I can't control it. ♪ Our hearts are warm ♪ It controls me.

♪ There's no place more sweeter ♪

- ♪ Than this ♪ And on top of that... it's not a secret anymore.

Sydney, it's 7:30!

So what? It's Sunday.

It's Monday. You have school.

I can't go. I'm sick.

Yeah, nice try. Look.

I need you to grab Liam after school because I'm working a double.

And make sure that he gets some dinner, not just a mustard sandwich like last time, okay?

I'm practically his mom.

What did you just say?

No, I'm curious. Say it again.

You always ask me to do everything for Liam, and it's not fair.

It's not fair?


I... I don't mind cooking dinner tonight, guys.

That's nice, sweetie. It's just...

You know what? Give us a sec, okay?


I haven't been perfect.

And I know me working 60 hours a week isn't ideal for you, but guess what?

My job pays for the things we need to get by.

Okay? Like groceries.

When you actually pick them up.

Is this about the groceries again?

This is about your attitude.

If Dad was here with me and Liam, he wouldn't ask me to do so much.

Just to clarify... this is the scenario where I'm dead?

No, I'm just saying...

No. I heard you, Sydney.

When it comes to your dad, you have this gift.

This selective memory, but he wasn't who you think he was.

Why are you throwing him under the bus?

Because I'm the one who's still here!

Your dad could be funny and sweet, yes, but... he could also be vacant.

Most days, you would go to school, and he wouldn't even get out of bed.

And you wanna know what's really not fair?

You always chose him over me.

And now, he's been gone for almost a year, and you're still choosing him.

Get up!

All right...

The trick is to be normal. Be normal.

Be... normal.

Yes. I do crazy shit with my mind, but nobody knows.

Syd! I know you don't really wanna talk since, you know, the...

Um... Cool. I'll, uh... I'll be...

As the temperature increases, if an atom loses one or more electrons, it becomes oxidized!


Yeah, okay. Goggles up.

Bunsen burners on, and please, please, please, nobody burn down the school.

Look, I know that we said that that thing is a secret, and it is, totally safe with me, but we have to talk about it.

...that should be good, um... Yeah.

Okay, so I set up in the...

Okay, can you say something? Please.

Yeah, I can. Why don't you just shut up?

Look, I... I've been doing some research, and I think...

Syd, I think we should test your powers.

What are you even talking about? Just hear me out, okay?

There's this thing in ancient Mayan culture where they would... they would build, like, a pyramid, for the sun god.

Basically, they would use it for a whole multitude...


...the sun.

...and sacrifice to him.

Hey! Where are you... Bathroom!

Calm down, Syd!

Calm the fuck down!

Think happy thoughts.

Syd? You okay?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

You don't sound fine.

I... I am.

I... I'm great.


Well, Brad and I talked, which is good.

We figured that out.

Oh, oh, oh... okay.

But I... I... I also wanted to talk about the other night?

No, that's fine.

I just feel like we left it in a weird...

No, no, not at all!

So, we're cool?

Yes, yes, we are so cool.

Uh, we can also, maybe, talk about this later?




Feel better?

Hey, Syd.

Hm? I was thinkin'.

What if you and Mom... talked?

But without being mean?

All day at school and stuff, I try not to say anything bad to anyone.

And most of the time, no one says anything bad back to me.

But it's like you and Mom try to find reasons to get mad at each other.

What is this?

Well, it's macaroni, cheese, maple syrup, A1, ham, corn, margarine, cinnamon, fish sticks...

soy sauce, grape jelly, crushed graham crackers, and something in a jar in the fridge, but I'm not sure what.

The thing is, I actually just ate... Try it before it gets cold!

This is actually good.

Like, crazy good.

I call it "Liam's Loaded Lasagna."

I know it's not lasagna, but I just needed an L-word.

I've never even seen you cook before.

I know. I was too afraid.

Of cooking? Yeah.

But, you know, then I just figured...

That if you just tried it, you wouldn't be afraid anymore?

How'd you know?

Sorry, we're closed.

Was hoping you might make an exception?

That depends. Are you a good bowler?


Then what are you doin' here?

Gotta... try to make the lasagna.

That sounds vaguely... sexual.

No, it's not.


I thought maybe...

I could hear some of those dumb theories of yours.


When you said "research," I thought you meant... research.

Okay, so the people who wrote these things...

Do you think they came up with these characters and their powers out of thin air? Yes.

Or... or... or is it possible that they researched carefully and grounded these superhero abilities in modern science and parapsychology?

No, it's not possible.

At all.

Okay. You're right.

The people who wrote these were probably eating acid like candy.

But the point is, they know superpowers.

Okay? So each of these comics features an unknown visitor.

A professor, a wise old sage, some form of a mentor figure, you know, who visits the hero, explains their abilities, the mythology behind them, and how they can harness those powers for good.

What's your point?

Has anyone like this ever visited you?

Okay, totally fine. Maybe I'll just be your mentor figure.

Or not!

I mean, sometimes, it's a rite of passage thing.

There's always an origin.

Okay? So have you experienced any of the following...

Uh... spider bite?

No. Okay.

Radioactive goo? No.

Alien gemstones? No.


What about secret military experiment? No.

Bionic limb transplant? What?

Okay, what about your parents? What about 'em?

Well, sometimes, a person inherits their abilities.

The only thing I inherited was pasty skin and my bubbly personality.

And the thigh zits.

Oh, too soon. I thought those were fair game. Sorry.

God, this is a waste of time.

Okay. Look, all right. All right. Okay, look.

I'm the first to call out how shitty this town is.

And my life, it ain't great, Syd.

Yeah, I noticed.

Okay, but... but you have something special.

And you're here right now because you wanna try to understand it.

And that's a big first step, okay?

And I know this because I am your mentor figure.

Okay, Mr. Miyagi, then, tell me, what's the second step?

Focus, Syd.

I want you to knock down those pins with your mind.

- ♪ Do-do-do-do ♪ Okay.

Knock 'em over. ♪ Do-do-do-do ♪

- ♪ Aah, aah ♪ I want you to make the kernels pop, okay?

Come on. I wanna hear 'em pop! - ♪ I need a hero ♪

♪ Holding out for a hero till the en... ♪


So how does it normally happen? Like, after Ricky's party?

Like, what... what was your mindset?

I didn't have a mindset.

Okay, but were you just having fun, and then you just blew down some trees, or...

I, um... kinda...

kissed someone at the party.


When? Like, be... before or after I asked you to homecoming?

Uh... did you think we were... together?

I mean, we did... you know, at my house, that one night.


...never done that before.

Me either.

Right. So... this person you kissed, and I'm not gonna ask who, because I'm above it and I don't care.

I'm not even the least bit jealous.

But just tell me...

does he dress cooler than me?

No one can dress cooler than you, Stan.

That's true.

I actually... kissed someone who... didn't wanna be kissed.

And I felt like an idiot.

It almost always comes out when I'm angry.

Or embarrassed.

Or... or scared.


Come on.

I think I know why they didn't kiss you back.

Because you're incredibly ugly.

Repulsive, actually. And I'm not even counting the zits.

You know, I... I see what you're doing, Stan.

And you wanna know something that's even more embarrassing than being ugly?

Flunking biology.

Which you are most definitely gonna do.

I mean, Martin Ganza passed biology.

And he thinks cyborgs staged the moon landing.

Okay, so I'm ugly. I'm dumb.

Wait, is that all you got?

Do you wanna know the scary thing? You're never gonna figure this out.

You'll never know what the hell's going on inside you.

Or what the hell's wrong with you.

And that's gonna eat you up inside.

You'll never have answers, and that's gonna haunt you for as long as you live.

And that's gonna suck.

Yeah, it will.

But nothing will ever suck as much as your shitty family.

For starters, let's talk about your dad.

I hear he didn't even leave a note.

And do you wanna know something? You'll never know why he killed himself.

Holy shit! That was awesome!

Fuck you!

S... What? Syd, I... I didn't mean any of that! I just...

I was just trying...

I mean, it worked.

I could've killed you!

We're through. I'm done.

What? No, I...

Nice goin', bud.

Oh. Now I gotta clean this up.

♪ Crash, bang, I met a stranger ♪

♪ A stranger that I knew ♪

♪ What happened to the lover ♪

♪ That used to be you? ♪

♪ Ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪

- ♪ I realized that danger ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

- ♪ Was closer than I knew ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

- ♪ Somebody else, some stranger ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Has taken my place with you ♪

♪ Ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪

- ♪ Strange, stranger than fiction ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

- ♪ The thing that love can do ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

- ♪ Who can make a prediction ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

- ♪ That love will be true? ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪

- ♪ Last night, I met a stranger ♪ ♪ Ba-da, ba-da, da, da, ba-da, ba-da ♪

- ♪ Da, da, ba-da, ba-da, da ♪ ♪ A stranger that I knew ♪

- ♪ Da, da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪ ♪ I knew I'd lost the lover ♪

- ♪ Da, da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪ ♪ That used to be you ♪

- ♪ Da, da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪ ♪ I knew I'd lost the lover ♪

- ♪ Da, da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪ ♪ That used to be you ♪

- ♪ Da, da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪ ♪ I knew I'd lost the lover ♪

- ♪ Da, da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪ ♪ That used to be you ♪

- ♪ Da, da, ba-da, ba-da, da, da ♪ ♪ That used to... ♪