Ice Age (2002) Script

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Why not call it the Big Chill? Or the Nippy era?

I'm just saying how do we know it's an ice age?

Because of all the ice!

Well, things just got a little chillier.

Help! Help!

Come on, kids, let's go. The traffic's moving.

But, but, but dad.

No "buts". You can play "extinction" later.

Okay. Come on, guys.

So, where's Eddie?

He said something about being on a verge of an evolutionary breakthrough.

Really?

I'm flying!

Some breakthrough.

Look out! You're going the wrong way. Crazy mammoth.

Hey, do the world a favour!

Move your issues off the road!

If my trunk was that small, I wouldn't draw attention to myself, pal.

Give me a break.

We've been waddlin' all day.

Oh, go ahead. Follow the crowd.

It'll be quieter when you're gone.

Come on. If he wants to freeze to death, let him.

Hey, hey. I'm up, I'm up!

Hey, rise and shine, everybody.

Huh? Zak? Marshall?

Bertie? Uncle Fungus?

Where is everybody?

Come on, guys. We gonna miss the mi.. the mi.. the...

...migration.

They left without me.

They do this every year!

Why? Doesn't anyone love me?

Isn't there anyone who cares about Sid the Sloth?

All right, I'll just go by myself.

Oh! Sick!

Hey, wide body! Kerb it next time!

Oh! Jeez... Oh..Yuck! Oh..

I can't believe it. Fresh wild greens.

Frank, where did you ever...

Go ahead, dig in.

A dandelion. I thought the frost wiped them all out.

All but one.

Makes me so... I wanna..

Oh! Yuck!

This has definitely not been my day. I mean... You know what I'm saying, buddy?

Oh, what a mess.

Hey, you rhinos, you know, you have really tiny brains, did you know that?

No. It's just a fact.

No offence!

But you barely know what I'm talking about.

Oh, Yummo.

A dandelion.

Must be the last one of the season.

Carl. Easy, Frank.

He ruined our salad.

Oh, my mistake. That was my mistake. Let me...

No, seriously, let me take care of this.

Oh. What is this?

Pine cones!!!

Oh my goodness, they're my favourite.

Hmm, delicious.

Ow.

That's a... good eating.

Don't let me hog them all up. No, here, you have some.

Tasty, isn't it?

Bon app?Štit.

Now?

Now.

Hey!

Just pretend that I am not here.

I wanna hit him at full speed.

That's okay, Frank. We'll have some fun with him.

Don't let them impale me, please. I wanna live!

Get off me!

Come on, you're making a scene.

We'll just take our furry pinata and go. Would you mind?

Hey. Buddy, if it's not them today, it's just someone else tomorrow.

I like rather not be today. Okay?

Look. We're gonnaa break your neck so you don't feel a thing. How's that?

Wait a minute. I thought rhinos were vegetarians.

An excelent point. Shut up!

Who says we gonna eat him after we kill him?

Yeh, come on, move it.

You know, I don't like animals that kill for pleasure.

Save it for a mammal that cares.

I'm a mammal that cares.

Okay, look. If either of you make it across that sink hole in front of you, you get the Sloth.

That's right, you losers. You take one step and you're dead.

You were bluffing, huh? Yeah, that was a bluff.

Get him!


A dandelion?

We did it!

What?

You have beautiful eyes.

Get off my face.

Wow, you and me, we make a great team.

I mean. What'd you say we just head South together?

Great! Yeah, hey jump up on my back and relax your whole way.

Wow. Really? No.

Wait, aren't you going to South?

The changing seasons, migration instincts?

Any of this a-ringin' a bell? I guess not, bye.

Okay, then thanks for the help. I can take it from here.

Hey, you over-grown weasel. Wait till we get down there.

Ohohou. That south thing is way overrated. The heat, the crowd. Who needs any?

Isn't this great? You and me, two bachelors knockin' about in the wild.

No, you just want a bodyguard so you don't become somebody's side dish.

You're very shrewd mammal.

Can you lead the way, Mr. Big Guy? Didn't get the name.

Manfred. Manfred? Yuck.

How about Manny the Moody Mammoth? Or Manny the Melancholy... Manny the...

Stop following me.

OK, so you've got issues. Look, you won't even know I'm here.

I'll just zip the lip when I say...


Look at the cute little baby, Diego.

Isn't it nice if he'll be joining us for breakfast?

It wouldn't be breakfast without him.

Especially since his daddy wiped out half our pack and wears our skin to keep warm.

An eye for an eye. Don't you think?

Let's show that human what happens when he messes with Sabers.

Alert the troops. We attack at dawn.

And Diego, bring me that baby. Alive.

If I'm gonna enjoy my revenge, I want it to be fresh.


Phew. I'm wiped out.

That's your shelter?

Hey. You're a big guy. You got a lot of wood. I'm a little guy.

You've got half a stick.

Yeah, but with my little stick, and my highly evolved brain...

I shall create fire.

Fascinating.

We'll see if brains triumph over brawn tonight. Now, won't we?

Hey, I think I saw spark.

Any chance I can squeeze in there with you Manny? Old pal?

Isn't there someone else you can annoy?

Friends? Family? Poisonous reptiles?

My family abandoned me. They just kinda migrated without me.

You should see what they did last year.

You know, I mean. They woke up early and finely tied my hands and feet. and they gagged me with a fieldmouse, barricaded the cave door, and covered their tracks, went through water so l'd lose their scent, and... who needs 'em, anyway?

So what about you? You've family?

Okay, you're tired, I see. Well, we'll talk more in the morning.

Ow, ow, a, a, ow, ow.

Manfred? Manfred.

Could you scooch over a drop?

Come on, nobody falls asleep that fast.

Manny!


There's Diego, fall back!

Where's the baby?

I've lost it over the falls. You lost it?

I want that baby, Diego. I'll get it.

You'd better. Unless you want to serve yourself as the replacement.

We'll go up to Half peak. Meet us there.

It'd better be alive.

Can we trust you with that, Diego?

Let's go!


and then she picked this hair off my shoulder and says, look...

If you're gonna have an extra mating dance, at least pick a female with the same color pelt, right?

And I thought, wow, she's gonna go praying mantis on me. I mean, you know what I'm saying?

If you find a mate in life, you should be loyal.

In your case, grateful. Get away from me.

Well, I think mating for life is stupid. I mean there's plenty of Sid to go around.

Manny?


Look at that. He's okay.

She's gone.

Hey, hey, hey Manny, are you forgetting something?

No. But you just saved him.

Yeah, but I'm still trying to get rid of the last thing I saved.

You can't leave him here.

Look, there's smoke.

That's his herd right up the hill. We should return him.

Let's get something straight here. Okay? There's no "we".

There never was a "we".

In fact, without me, there wouldn't even be a "you"!

Just up the hill.

Listen very carefully. I'm not g-o-i-n-g.

Fine. Be a jerk.

I'll take care of him.

Go. Yeah, that's good.

You'll take care... You can't even take care of yourself.

This I gotta see.

I'll return you. We don't need that meany-weeny mammoth, do we?

No, we don't.


You're the embarrassment to nature, do you know that?

That is cake.

I'm fine. I'm fine!

I'm gonna die.


That pink thing is mine.

No, actually that pink thing belongs to us.

Us? You two are a bit of an odd couple.

There is no "us". I see.

Can't have one of your own, so you want to adopt.

Look, I'm sorry to interrupt this snack.

But we gotta go.

The baby, please.

I was returning him to his herd.

Oh, yeah. Nice try, bucktooth.

You're calling me a liar? I didn't say that.

You were thinking it.

I don't like this cat. He reads minds.

Name is Diego, friend.

Manfred. And I'm not your friend.

Fine, Manfred.

If you're looking for the humans, you're wasting your time.

They left this morning.

Thanks for the advice. Now beat it.

All right, I'll help you bring it to its herd.

But promise me that you leave me alone after that.

Okay, okay, deal.

What's your problem? You're my problem.

But I think you're stressed. That's why you eat so much.

I mean. It's hard to get fat on a vegan diet.

I'm not fat. It's all that fur. It makes me look pooffy.

All right, you have fat hair. But when you're ready to talk, I'm here.

I don't know. Just drop it on the ledge.

Shouldn't we make sure they found him? Good idea.

No, no, no! Wait. Wait.

Don't spear me!

Ohhhm. This is a problem.

Now what?

Oh. That's perfect.


I told you they were gone.

Look who it is.

Don't you have some poor defenseless animals to disembowel?

They couldn't be far. I mean. They went this way?

Or this way?

You don't know much about tracking, do you?

Hey, I'm a Sloth. I see a tree, eat a leaf, that's my tracking.

You didn't miss them by much.

It's still green.

They headed north 2 hours ago.

It's still green. They headed north 2 hours ago.

You don't need this aggravation.

Give me the baby.

I can track humans a lot faster than you can.

And you're just a good citizen helping out, right?

I just know where the humans are going.

Glacier-pass.

Everybody knows they have a settlement on the other side.

Well, unless you know how to track, you've never gonna reach them before the pass closes up with snow.

Which should be like, tomorrow.

So you can give that baby to me or go get lost in the blizzard.

It's your choice.

Here's your little bundle of joy. We'll return it to the humans.

Oooh. The Big Bad Tigey Wigey get left behind. Poor Tigey Wigey...

Sid, Tigey Wigey is gonna lead the way.

Manny, can I talk to you for a second?

No.

The sooner we find the humans, the sooner I get rid of Mr. Stinky-drool-face.

And the baby too.

You won't always have jumbo around to protect you.

And when that day comes, I suggest you watch your back.

Cause I'll be chewing on it.

Hey, uber-tracker, up front where I can see you.

Help me.

You gotta make it stop. I can't take it anymore!

I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.

He won't stop squirming. You're holding it wrong.

Watch its head! Just put it down! Jeez, 'pick him up, put him down, make him...'

Its nose's dry.

That means something is wrong with it.

Someone should lick it. Just in case.

I'll do it.

Hey, he's wearing one of those baby thingies.

So? So if it poops, where does it go?

Humans are disgusting.

Okay, you.

Check for poop.

Hey. Why am I the poop checker?

Because returning him home was your idea. Because you're small and insignificant.

And because I'll pummel you if you don't.

Why else? Now, Sid!

Yuhh. Yuck. Yuhh.

I mean, my goodness.

All right, look out, look out. Coming through.

Watch out! Stop waving that thing around!

Oh, I'm gonna slip!

It's clean! Got you!

Will you cut it out!

Hey, do that again. He likes it.

It's makin' me feel better too.

Here, you hold it.

Here. Turn him towards me.

Where is the baby? There he is!

Where is the baby?

There he is!

Stop it! You're scaring him!

I bet he's hungry.

How about some milk?

Uhh. I'd love some. Not you, the baby.

Well I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.

You're a little low on the food chain to... aren't you?

Enough!

Food!

I don't know, but I've been told...

I don't know, but I've been told... End of the world be mighty cold...

Prepare for the ice age!

Protect the Dodo way of life!

Survivals separate the Dodos from the beasts.

Ice age?

I've heard of these crackpots.

Intruders!

Don't fall in. If you do, you'll definitely...

Intruders!

Intru... Uaaaa.

Uuuuuuuh.

Burn and die.

Hey, can we have our melon back?

Junior is hungry and...

No way! This is our private stockpile for the ice age.

Subarctic temperatures will force us underground for a billion years.

So you've got three melons?

If you weren't smart enough to plan ahead, then doom on you.

Doom on you! Doom on you!

Get away from me!

Oh! No!

Retrieve the melon!

Taikwondoodos!

Taikwondoodos! Attack!

The melon!

There goes our last female.

Got it, got it, got it. Don't got it. The Last Melon!


Aghhh. Sid!

Now we gotta find more food.

Right, more to the right. Right, right, right.

Hey, look at that. Dinner and a show.

Left! Left, left... left! Leeft! Aaaa...Ugh! Uaaaaau!

Now to find a meal befitting a conquering hero.

What ho? A foe?

Come on, come on. You want a piece of me?

Spoils! worthy of such a noble...

Uuuh!

Bedtime, squirt.

Oh. The triumphant return!

Hh? Oh that.. hhh.

I'm so full.

How about a good night kiss for your big buddy, Sid??

Shh. He's asleep.

I was talking to you.

Fine, I'll tuck myself in.

All right, gooood niiight.


Will you stop it!

All right. All right.

I was trying to relax.


What the... Go ahead. Slice me.

It'll be the last thing you ever do.

I'm working here, you waste of fur.

Frustrated Diego.

Tracking down helpless infants too difficult for you?

What are you two doing here?

Soto's getting tired of waiting.

Yeah. Yeah. He said, come back with the baby, or don't come back at all!

Well, I have a message for Soto.

Tell him, I'm bringing the baby.

And tell him, I'm bringing a mammoth.

A mammoth.

Mammoths never travel alone.

Well, this one does. And I'm leading him to Half peak.

Look at all that meat.

Let's get him! Not yet!

We need the whole pack to bring this mammoth down.

Get everyone ready.

Now!


Where is the baby?

You lost it?

Sid!

It's so ugly. Positively adorable.

Hello, pumpkin. Hello, little baldy bean.

Where did you find it?

Ah. The poor kid all alone in the wild.

Sabers were closing in on him. So I just snatched him.

Oh. So brave.

Yeh. Well, he needed me and I only wish I have one of my own.

Really?

I find that attractive in a male.

Who wouldn't want a family, I always say.

Wher you've been hiding?

Yeh. Well, you know.

Cute kid, huh?

So, so what I was saying, ladies...

Hey! Hi! Manny!

What's the matter with you?

Excuse me, ladies.

You just keep marinating and I'll be right back.

Sssss. Sexy.

He's not much to look at but it's so hard to find a family guy.

Tell me about it. All the sensitive ones get eaten.

No, no, no. Manny, please, I'm begging you. I need him.

Why? A good looking guy like you?

No. You say that, but you don't mean it.

No, seriously, look at you.

Those ladies, they don't stand a chance.

We have a very cruel sense of humour.

Hey. Don't let me cramp your style.

Oh. Thanks, Manny. You're pal.

You are the best. Without Pinky. Manny, Manny, I need him.

So, ladies, where were we?

Carl? Easy, Frank.

Pretty tail walks by, suddenly he moves like a cheetah.

And that tiger.

Yeah, Mr. Great Tracker. Can't even find a sloth.

What am I? The wet nurse?

What are you lookin' at, bone bag?

Look at you. You gonna grow in a great predator, huh?

I don't think so.

What do you got? You got a little... patch of fur, no fang, no claws.

You're folds of skin wrapped in mush. What's so threatening about you?

Hey, does this look like a petting zoo to you? Huh?

Okay. All right, wise guy.

You just earned a time-out.

Oh you think that's funny? How about this?

You'll be a little snack for the owls.

You're a brave little squirt, l'll give you that.

Thank goodness. Thank goodness.

Oh. No, a tiger! Help! Help!

Where's the baby?

Oo he's fine. Manfred has him. Just put me in your mouth. Come on. Hurry up.

He got me! Help...

Get away from me.

It went this way. Over here.

No, Carl! The tiger beat us to him.

Wait a minute.

He's dead, all right.

No. Carnivores have all the fun.

Gosh, I hate breaking their hearts like that. But you know how it is.

All right, thanks. You can put me down now.

Manny! Manny!

Guys, l thought we were in a hurry.

And Diego spit that out. You don't know where it's been.

Boy. For a second there, I actually thought you gonna eat me.

I don't eat junk food.

Ha, ha, there you gotta...

I thought you're gonna... Were you?

Come on. Wait up. Wait up! Wait... come on, come on. Can you wait a second please?

Hey, fellows!

Huh. Thanks for waiting.

3, 2, 1.

Sure is faithful.

Don't make me reach back there. That was he. He started it.

I don't care who started it. I'll finish it.


Modern architecture. It'll never last.

Hi, Manny.

Hi, Diego.

Hey, Sid.

You're lost, aren't you? No, I know exactly where we are.

Ask him direction.

I don't need directions. Fine, I'll ask him.

Hey, buddy. Have you seen any humans go by here?

U u u. I love this game! I love this game! Okay, okay.

Three words.

First word..... a stomp.

Stomp. No, no. Stamp, stamp.

Let me try.

Hmm..... Pack. Good word, Manny.

Pack of long teeth... and claws?

Pack of wolves? Pack of...

Pack of bears? Pack of fleas.

Pack of whiskers? Pack of noses?

Ehmmm. Pachyderm?

Pack of lies. Pack of troubles. Pack a wallop.

Pack of.. Aooooou!.. birds. Pa.. pack of flying fish!


Hey! Great news.

I found a short cut!

What do you mean short cut?

I mean faster that the long way around.

Au! I know what a short cut is...

Look, either we slip through there and and beat the humans at the Glacier Pass.

Or take the long way and miss them.

Through there!

What do you take me for?

This time tomorrow you could be a free mammoth.

Or a nanny. personally I never get tired of peekaboo.

Hey guys. Hey guys check this out.

Sid, the tiger found a short cut.

No thanks, I choose life.

Then I suggest you take the short cut!

Are you threatening me?

Move sloth!

Way to go, tiger.

Quick. Get inside.


OK, I vote short cut.

Come on guys. Stick together it's easy to get lost in here.

Eh, guys!

Eh, eh... Fish.


Will you keep up, please? Hard enough to keep track of one baby.


I got you!

Captain! Iceberg ahead!

Oh no.


Wow! Huh! Yeah! Who's up for round two!

Tell the kid to be more careful.


Look, look. Tigers.

No. It's ok. It's ok.

Look the tigers are just playing tag with the antilope.

With their teeth.

Come on Sid, lets play tag - you're it.

Sure.

Ok, ok. Where are the sloth?

You know. You never see any sloth in these things. Have you ever noticed?

Oh look Manny! A mammoth.

Uuh. Somebody pinch me.

Hey, hey this fat one.

Looks just like you.

Oh, he's got a family.

Oh, he's happy.

Look he is playing with his kid.

See Manny that's your problem.

That's what mammoths supposed to do.

Sid. Find a she-mmoth, have the little baby mammoth...

Sid! What?

Shut up!


Well. Would you look at that.

The tiger actually did it. There's Half-peak.

Next stop. Glacier pass.

How could I ever have doubted you?

Did you hear that little fella?

You are almost home?

My feet are sweating.

Do we have to get a news flash every time your body does something?

Don't pay attention. Just ignore him Seriously, my feet are really hot...

Tell me that was your stomach.

I am sure it was just thunder.

From under.., ground?


Come on keep up with me.

I would if you were moving.

Wow. I wish I could jump like that.

Wish granted.

Come on move faster.

Have you noticed the river of lava?

Hold Pinky!


Manny!!!

Manny, Manny, Manny are you ok?

Come on, come on say something. Anything!

What. What? I can't hear you.

You are standing on my trunk.

Are you OK?

Why did you do that ?

You could have die trying to save me.

That's what you do in a herd...

We look out for each other.

Well... thanks.

I don't now how about you guys, but... we're the weirdest herd I've ever seen.

I can't wait to get my claws in that mammoth.

No one touches the mammoth until I get that baby.

First, I'm gonna slice its hind quarters into sections. I'm on to put the white meat in one pile and dark in ano...

Hey. Knock it off. I am starving.

Next, the shoulders. Occasionally tough, but extremely juicy.

I told you to knock it off!

Save your energy!

Mammoths don't go down easy.

There is only one way to do it.

First you have to force it into a corner.

Cut off his retreat.

And when you three have it trapped...

I'll go for the throat.

Guys. We gotta get this kid out of the wind.

How much further? 3 miles.

I'm beat. We'll get there in the morning.

What're you doing?

I'm putting sloth on the map.

Hey. Why don't you make it realistic and draw him lying down?

And make him rounder.

Perfect.

I forgot how to laugh.

I am a genius.

From now one you'll have to refer to me as...

Sid, Lord of the flame.

Hey, Lord of the flame, your tail's on fire.

Thank you.

From now one I'm gonna call you Diego.

Lord you've touched me and you are dead.

I am just kidding you little knuckle-head.

Hey lovebirds. Look at this.

I don't believe it.

Come here, you little biped. Come here, you little wormy-worm.

Come to uncle Sid.

No no this way, this way.

No. no, no. Go to him. Go to him.

Ok...

Good job.

Keep practicing.

Look at that. Our little guy is growing up.

Come on. Sleep time, lumpy.

Look at that big pushover.

You know Diego, I've never had a friend who'd risk his life for me.

Yeah, Manny's... is a good guy.

Yeah he is.

Well, good night


All right. Let's get you all cleaned up.

I mean what's your daddy gonna say when we go back smudgy and stinky like this?

OK. Let me just clean that up.

That looks good and little bit here...

You clean up nice - little fellow.

I think he start to look like me. Hey Diego, what do you say?

Maybe we shouldn't do this.

Why not?

Because if we save him, he'll grow up to be a hunter.

And who do you think he'll hunt?

Maybe because we save him he won't hunt us. Ow!

Yeh, maybe he'll grow fur and a long skinny neck and call you mamma!

What is your problem?

Nothing. Lets go, it's freezing my tail off.

Hey Diego, you've frozen back there?

Get down. What?

Shhh! Get down and follow me.

Hey, hey! What's going on?

At the bottom of Half-peak... there is an ambush waiting for you.

What? What do you mean ambush.

You set us up?

It was my job, I was supposed to get the baby but then...

You brought us home for dinner!!!

That's it, you're out of the herd.

I am sorry.

No you are not. Not yet.

Listen, I can help you.

Stay close Sid.

We can fight our way out.

You can't. Pack's too strong.

You have to trust me!

Trust you ? Why in the world would we trust you ?

Because I am your only chance.

Hello ladies!

Hey look who decided to show up.

Diego. I was beginning to worry about you.

No need to worry.

In about 2 minutes you'll be satisfying your taste... for revenge.

Very nice!

I see the sloth!

And he's got the baby!

Don't give away your positions until we see the mammoth.

He's the one we have to surprise.

You wanna maul something. Don't you think?

I wanna maul.

Then what are you waiting for?

No, I said wait for the mammoth!


Yohou! Backscratcher. Ahaa!

Eat my powder!

Loop-de-loop. Slalom, slalom baby!


Sorry fellas, it got a little frostbite.

Get him!

Surprise!

Ok, follow me.

We'll pick up Sid and get outta here while we can.

Come on Diego, let's bring this mammoth down.

There he is.

That's right - where's the baby. Oh!

Survival of the fittest. I don't think so. Yeah!

What are you doing?

Leave the mammoth alone!

Fine! I'll take you down first.


We did it!

We were some team, huh?

Were? Come on. We're still a team.

I am sorry I set you up.

Ah. You know me. I'm too lazy to hold a grudge.

Hey. Knock it off, squirt.

You have to be strong.

You have to take care of Manfred and Sid.

Especially Sid.

Come on. You can lick this. You're a tiger. Look I'll carry you. Come on, what do you say?

Come on Diego, come on.

Tell him he's going to be OK, Manny.

Listen. You have to leave me here.

If those humans get through the pass, you'll never catch them.

You didn't have to do that.

That's what you do in a herd.


Don't forget about us, ok?

We won't forget about you.


Good bye.

Good bye. Good bye.

Sid.

Good bye.

That's right. Where is the baby?

Come on Sid.

Let's head South.


Save your breath Sid. You know humans can't talk.

Diego?

You're Ok!

9 lives baby.

You're ok. You're ok.

I could kiss ya. m. m. m. m. m. m. m. m. m.

Yuck, yuck. Bleeh.

Welcome back partner. Want a lift?

No thanks. I've got to save whatever dignity I've got left.

You're hanging out with us now, buddy. Dignity's got nothing to do with it.

But I'll take that lift.

Yeh. Climb aboard. Pick me up, buddy.

Mush!

Or not mush, either way.

This gonna be the best migration ever. I'm telling you. I'll show you all my favourite watering holes. I turn brown when the fungus in my fur dries.

Sounds very attractive!

You know. This whole Ice age thing's getting old. You know what l could go for? Global warming!

Aye.

Keep dreamin'.

No, really!