JCVD (2008) Script

It didn't work.

It didn't work.

In the middle there...

It's on amidst...

The window didn't explode right... and it is very difficult for me to do everything in one shot.

You know, I'm 47 years old...

This isn't about adults...

We're talking about a child,

an environment...

My client...

is aware... of the responsibility of raising a child.

She leads a quiet, peaceful life.

On the other hand, we have an actor here who's obviously disgruntled.

Whose known past problems I just mentioned are less than ambiguous.

And whose entire career experience is with films whose values no responsible aware parent would ever want to expose their children to, including myself, Your Honor.

Violence... that's all on film, Your Honor.

The legitimacy of violence...

How this actor play death?

Let me count the ways.

Mangled under the wheels a truck...


Fracturing the skull...

Taking out "the timber log"...

They were low budgets. Every one of my movies were having heart!


Crushed under the wheels of a car...

Death by strangulation... Crushed ribs...

I make money with this! I feed them!

Please be seated, Mr. It's not about money!

Allez, one more! Again. Gauging out the eye...

Kicks to the groin...

Can I go to the restroom, please?

Crushed under the wheels of a truck...

Gauging out the eyes...

Crushing the skull...


- Take off! Immediately! Take off! Alright!

Gloria, would you rather live with your mommy or with your daddy?

I don't wanna live with Dad.

Why, Gloria?

Every time my dad is on a TV Show, my friends make fun of me.

But you love your daddy? Yes.

But you rather stay with your mom.

I want them to stop making fun of me.

Thank you, Gloria. You may be excused.

I think it's November 10th or 15th.

There's no special requirements, you don't have to do any training, You don't have to be in any kind of good shape...

They'll put you in shape on the shoot.

The commission? Ahn?

What's your commission? Normal.

No, no. The one I was...

10%... but I'll take 8.

They'll kill my career, those guys.

You get good money, they send me to Bulgaria, the fucking factory.

They're making the movie for what? A million dollars?...

No, no! You're exaggerating...

With the 30% sales fee...

You're exaggerating that. This movie is huge in Asia!

I know, 6 million dollars!

Foreign, 30%: 1.8 producing fee: 1.25 million... OK?

Why do you do this shit to yourself? That's my job...

I get paid 4 million dollars, how much is left for the picture?

Come on, man! That is my job. Let me worry about that.

I would take less money and put me in a fucking studio!

If they get me for free, one movie only, for free, "Van Damme".

It's worth at least 6 in Europe!

They pay me scale, at least I would be in a big movie and would give me the chance...

And you have those contacts with the studio!

What's going on here?

Wait a minute, you're not seeing the big picture...

No, the big picture, you're selling packages!

Yeah, but some there's a director involved, and there's a cinematographer involved, what's the matter?

Jeff, how many years you've known me? 20 years?...

Once in your life, put me in a studio!

Are you bullshitting me or what?

I mean, I've never done bad by you! I've always done the right thing by you!

And that's no bullshit.

Look... You're an international fucking movie star!

Name me another international movie star.

You work all the time, you're well protected...

I lost my daughter.

You're gonna get over that.

Remember Shakespeare:

"The time and the hours through the longest day...

...everything passes "

You've gotta believe me here, man, life goes on.

Especially in this town...

Stop it.

Stop it.

You want to smoke a joint?

Jean-Claude, come on, it was a joke!

Look, can't you take a joke?

Don't forget: you start shooting on November 10th.

I love you, baby! Keep that mojo working!

...the check you made bounced.

What do you mean? You know exactly what I mean.

It's impossible!

If I don't get the money by noon, I have to drop the case.

OK, don't drop the case.

I promise you, I'll get the money. OK? Thank you.

You've been told... Yes, at noon. OK, fine.


Hey, Jeff, how are you?

Hey, dog! What's up, dog?

Good, good, good... Not so good.

I need some money.

Listen, can I advance, er...

Can the producers advance me some money?

Listening Jean-Claude, I was gonna call you...

...right after your vacation was over.

They took someone else.




He promised to cut his ponytail.

It hurts, I know.

OK, OK, can you... Can I borrow some money from you?

Hello! Crank it up...

Hey, man! You're breaking up here, I'm losing you.

You must be in a tunnel or something!

Cut the bullshit! Come on the phone!

All right. Yeah, yeah.

What's next?

No Limit Injury. It's about a Viet vet...

We've done this movie 6 months ago.

We did?

What's next?

No Limit Injury 2! It's about a Gulf War vet. who fights to pay for his son education.

Is it good? I don't know.

Did you read it? I don't know.

Call the producers... and... tell them I need some upfront.

Hey, man, I can't do that! Just fucking do it, Jeff!

We represented Mr. Van Damme for over fifteen years, which is a lot of time, a lot of business, a lot of friendship, so...

It is with the greatest regret that I had to prepare the statement with my colleagues

"Because of Mr. Van Damme's behavior and for ethical purposes, my firm and myself hereby, immediately cease to represent Jean Claude Van Damme."

The results are in.

Jean-Claude Van Damme has been convicted for 3 years. One year jail time two years probation...