Joe's Palace (2007) Script

( knocks loudly )

Man: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT. Man: WITH WHO?

I'M NOT SURE. MY MOTHER WORKS HERE.

AND WHO'S YOUR MOTHER?

SALLY-- MRS. DIX.

( vacuum buzzing )

YOU'D BETTER COME WITH ME.

DOES HE LIVE HERE ALL ON HIS OWN?

MR. GRAHAM DOESN'T LIVE HERE. HE'S ACROSS THE ROAD.

NUMBER 31.

WELL, WHO LIVES HERE THEN?

NO ONE.

Sally: HERE IS HE, JEAN, LIKE I SAID.

SO YOU'RE JOE.

JOE, SAY HELLO TO MRS. HOPKINS.

Sally: HE DOESN'T TALK A LOT, DO YOU, JOE?

WELL, JOE, AS IT HAPPENS, MR. GRAHAM IS HERE TODAY, WHICH IS A REAL PIECE OF LUCK.

SO I'M GOING TO TAKE YOU TO HIM.

BE CAREFUL.

MR. GRAHAM, THIS IS JOE.

HE'LL BE ON THE FRONT DOOR IN THE AFTERNOON BETWEEN 1:00 AND 6:00... ( squeaking )

...TO GIVE DAVE A BIT OF A BREAK AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.

Sally: HE'S VERY RELIABLE, MR. GRAHAM.

EVERYBODY ALWAYS SAYS JOE'S REALLY PUNCTUAL--

HIS SCHOOL REPORTS AND EVERYTHING. Graham: EXCELLENT.

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?

YEAH.

AND YOU'LL WRITE DOWN EVERYBODY THAT CALLS, KEEP A RECORD FOR ME?

YEAH. SURE.

( train screeching )

Sally: I LOOK SO TIRED, DON'T I?

I SO WANT TO LOOK GOOD TONIGHT.

DO I SEEM REALLY OLD AND TIRED, JOE?

NO. YOU DON'T.

YOU DID REALLY WELL TODAY.

JUST THE CLOTHES, MAYBE...

COULD'VE BEEN A LITTLE SMARTER.

( men shouting ) WHEN YOU GO TOMORROW, YOU PUT YOUR BEST CLOTHES ON.

YOU REMEMBER? HEY, LOOK, THERE'S THAT WEIRDO KID.

( men shouting ) IT'S GREAT YOU GOT THE JOB THOUGH.

HEY, WEIRDO. COME DOWN.

COME ON, THEN. ( all shouting )

Sally: YOU WON'T SEE MR. GRAHAM AGAIN ANYWAY, PROBABLY, NOT FOR A LONG TIME.

( knocks )

DOES THIS BELONG HERE?

NO. DO YOU KNOW WHOSE IT IS?

NO.

WELL, YOU'D THINK SOMEBODY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD WOULD DEAL WITH IT.

SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE, DOESN'T IT?

IT CAN'T COME IN HERE.

( rock music blaring from headphones )


Joe's voice: NO CALLERS TODAY.

SAW MR. GRAHAM DOING UP HIS SHOELACES IN THE RAIN.

( bell ringing )

IS DAVE THERE? NO.

RIGHT. AND WHO ARE YOU?

I'M HERE FOR DAVE IN THE AFTERNOONS.

REALLY? YOU'RE HERE FOR DAVE?

CAN I COME IN?

NO. NO?

( chuckling ) WHAT, JUST LIKE THAT?

I'M NOT A BURGLAR OR ANYTHING.

SHE KNOWS ME.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO COME IN?

I'VE GOT A MEETING WITH MR. GRAHAM OVER THE ROAD AND I'M A LITTLE EARLY, SO...

YOU'RE GREAT AT SECURITY.

YOU'RE EVEN MORE DIFFICULT TO GET PAST THAN DAVE.

I'M RICHARD REECE. I'M A MEMBER OF THE GOVERNMENT, SO YOU MAY WANT TO THROW ME BACK OUT IN THE RAIN NOW.

AND YOU? I'M JOE.

HELLO, JOE.

I NEVER CAN GET OVER THESE FLOWERS.

ALL THESE FRESH FLOWERS EVERY TIME I COME.

NOT THAT I'M ALLOWED IN HERE THAT OFTEN, AND...

DAVE NEVER LETS ME GET PAST THE HALL.

THIS IS EXCITING.

Richard: AMAZING.

( laughing ) SLIPPERS, EVEN.

FRESH SOAP...

BATHROBES...

ALL THESE ROOMS PERFECTLY TENDED.

AND IT'S ONLY EVER SEEN BY THE CLEANERS.

IT'S LIKE A BIG SHIP ABOUT TO SET OFF SOMEWHERE, ISN'T IT?

YEAH.

SO, JOE, IT'S VERY GOOD TO MEET YOU.

YOU SHOULD GET THEM TO ARRANGE A DESK VIEW WITH A GOOD CHAIR AND A PHONE MAYBE, LIKE A PROPER CONCIERGE--

A PROPER SECURITY PERSON, WHICH YOU UNDOUBTEDLY ARE.


WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

IT'S AFTER 6:00.

YOU NEED TO STAY AWHILE.

AND THAT'S AN ORDER.

COME HERE, JOE.

COME ON. DON'T BE AFRAID.

FOLLOW ME.

FOLLOW ME.

( dishes shattering )

YOU'VE GOT TO STAY FOR A WHILE TO STOP ME BREAKING THINGS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION, JOE.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN UP ON THE ROOF, HAVE YOU, JOE?

ON THE ROOF? WHAT, OF HERE?

NO.

I THINK THAT'S WHERE WE'VE GOT TO GO.

( keys jangling )

COME ON. YOU CAN COME CLOSER THAN THAT.

DON'T BE SCARED.

ONLY ONE OF US CAN GO OVER TONIGHT.

PROBABLY WON'T BE YOU.

ONCE YOU'RE HERE WORKING IN THIS HOUSE, THEY'LL NEVER WANT TO SACK YOU.

THEY DON'T LIKE CHANGE.

DIDN'T WANT ME TO LEAVE.

SO THEY BROUGHT YOU ALONG TO MAKE MY LIFE EASIER.

BUT I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE, JOE.

WHEN HIS FATHER WAS ALIVE, IT WAS DIFFERENT.

THIS PLACE WAS FUN.

PARTIES, TWICE A WEEK.

DON'T BE FOOLED BY MR. GRAHAM EITHER, AT HIS BUMBLING ACT.

HE WAS IN THE ARMY.

DIFFICULT TO BELIEVE, I KNOW, BUT HE WAS.

SPECIAL UNIT.

KILLED PEOPLE WITH HIS BARE HANDS.

BE CAREFUL.

HE CAN BE A VERY FRIGHTENING GUY, JOE.

YOU CAN GO NOW.

GO ON.

JUST DON'T LOOK BACK.

DON'T, JOE.

DON'T LOOK BACK.

GO ON.

Hopkins: DAVE WON'T BE WORKING HERE ANYMORE.

WE WANT TO OFFER HIS JOB TO YOU, JOE, EXCEPT AT NIGHT, OF COURSE.

WE'VE ARRANGED FOR A PROPER SECURITY GUARD TO COME HERE AT NIGHT.

HE DIDN'T JUMP, DID HE?

DAVE? OFF THE ROOF?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?

HE'S GONE BACK TO SCOTLAND.

WELL, THAT'S LUCKY...

THAT HE DIDN'T JUMP.

SO, JOE, YOU'LL BE HERE ALL DAY UNTIL MR. JAMES, THE SECURITY GUARD, ARRIVES AT NIGHT.

WHICH MEANS THAT BETWEEN 6:00 P.M. AND 9:00 P.M.

YOU'LL BE ALONE IN THE HOUSE, AND DURING THAT TIME YOU MUSTN'T LET ANYBODY IN.

NOBODY.

DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR.

AND THERE'LL BE A ROOM HERE IN CASE YOU'RE EVER TOO TIRED TO GO HOME.

ISN'T IT MARVELOUS, EH, JOE?

ISN'T IT GREAT?

FULL-TIME JOB, HERE.

YEAH.

YEAH.

( keys jangling ) ( screaming )

( rock music playing )

Woman: MR. JOE.

MR. JOE.

MR. JOE, COME HERE PLEASE.

COME ON, MR. JOE.

COME ON, COME ON.

HE WANTS SOME MEATS.

MR. GRAHAM WANTS SOME COOKED MEATS.

YOU CHOOSE AT THE SHOP.

THE DELI-- YOU JUST SIGN AND SHOW THIS FOR THE MEATS.

( bell jangling )

CAN I HELP YOU?

I'VE COME TO CHOOSE MR. GRAHAM'S COOKED MEATS.

OH, NEW, ARE YOU?

DAVE USED TO DO THAT.

YEAH, THE RED CARD.

NOT THE GREATEST BIT OF IDEA EVER, IS IT?

WELL, MR. GRAHAM USUALLY HAS ABOUT 300 GRAMS OF MILANO.

I'LL HAVE SOME OF THAT.

AND THEN, UH, SOME OF THAT.

UH-HUH.

AND SOME OF THIS TOO. WOW.

THIS IS A NEW REGIME.

WELL, HOW MANY GRAMS DO YOU WANT OF EACH?

OH, I THINK... 750 EACH.

WHAT? ( laughs )

OKAY, MAKE IT 1,000 THEN.

Graham: MOST KIND.

THAT'S MOST KIND.

MY WORD, WHAT A SELECTION.

THANK YOU, JOE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO THE OTHER HOUSE.

I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU STAYED FOR A MOMENT.

NOT SURE I CAN.

I'M NOT MEANT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE, SIR.

IT'LL BE FINE. I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO MRS. HOPKINS.

YOU'VE DONE A TERRIFIC JOB HERE, JOE.

SOME OF THESE, I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER TASTED BEFORE.

OH, GOOD, SIR.

ABSOLUTELY. IT IS GOOD.

WELL, I CAN'T POSSIBLY GOBBLE ALL THIS MYSELF.

YOU WOULDN'T-- WOULD YOU...

LIKE SOME TOO?

FUNNY, AREN'T THEY?

BIT ODD, MAYBE.

MEANT TO BE ME, ACTUALLY.

I DID THEM LAST SUMMER.

THAT ONE...

THAT'S SHOWING ME NEAR THE END.

THE OTHER IS--

WELL, JUST ME.

I WAS BROUGHT UP ALL OVER THE WORLD.

MY FATHER OWNED A LOT OF HOTELS, AMONGST OTHER THINGS.

MAYBE IT MAKES ME LOOK A LITTLE TOO CHEERFUL.

( rock music blaring from headphones ) ( bell rings )

OH, HI.

IT'S YOU AGAIN. IS DAVE THERE?

DAVE LEFT.

WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME.

I WANTED TO SHOW A FRIEND OF MINE THIS PLACE.

NO. YOU SURE?

I CAN'T OPEN THIS DOOR AFTER 6:00 TO ANYONE.

THIS IS CHARLOTTE.

THIS IS JOE. HI, JOE.

Richard: ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN'T OPEN IT TO ANYONE?

EVEN FOR CHARLOTTE HERE?

NO.

WELL, EXCEPT-- EXCEPT?

EXCEPT IF I KNOW THE PERSON THAT'S ASKING.

WOW.

IT'S MAGNIFICENT.

AND SO BEAUTIFULLY KEPT, LIKE IT'S WAITING FOR SOMETHING.

THAT'S WHAT YOU CAN DO WHEN YOU'RE WORTH FOUR BILLION--

KEEP SOMETHING IN PERFECT CONDITION AND TOTALLY EMPTY.

IT'S A PALACE.

AND YOU HAVE IT ALL TO YOURSELF, JOE?

THAT'S EXCITING. THAT'S FABULOUS.

ONLY AFTER 6:00.

I'VE GOT IT TO MYSELF AFTER 6:00.

AND THE SECURITY GUARD, HE COMES AT 9:00, BUT I STAY AT MY DESK MOSTLY ANYWAY, SO...

OF COURSE, BUT YOU SHOULD EXPLORE, SHOULDN'T YOU, WHILE YOU'VE GOT THE CHANCE?

SEE WHAT THESE KEYS UNLOCK. YEAH.

YEAH, WELL...

I'LL DO THAT.

HAVE THEY GIVEN YOU YOUR OWN ROOM, JOE?

YEAH, THEY HAVE. DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT?

Richard: I LIKE YOUR ROOM VERY MUCH.

THAT'S A WOMBAT, ISN'T IT? I ALWAYS WANTED A WOMBAT.

YEAH, HE'S GOOD, ISN'T HE?

I SLEEP HERE ABOUT ONCE A WEEK WHEN I CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO GO HOME.

( chuckles )

IT'S AMAZING, THIS PLACE...

WITH ONLY THE BOY HERE.

IT'S SO UNEXPECTED.

( gasps )

SO WHAT ABOUT IT? I'LL ASK ELLIOT, SHALL I?

I KNOW HIM. I CAN ASK HIM.

YOU WOULDN'T DARE.

EVEN YOU WOULDN'T DARE DO THAT.

( footsteps echoing ) ( Charlotte laughing )

YOU LOOK GREAT AT YOUR DESK, JOE.

REALLY OFFICIAL.

THANK YOU FOR THAT, JOE.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE.

YEAH, IT IS.

ARE YOU SEEING MR. GRAHAM TODAY?

NO, NOT TODAY.

BUT IF YOU SEE HIM, OR RATHER...

WHEN YOU NEXT SEE HIM...

COULD YOU ASK HIM SOMETHING, JOE... FOR ME?

YEAH, WHAT?

ASK IF CHARLOTTE AND I CAN VISIT THIS PLACE AGAIN. ( laughs )

YOU KNOW, AT THIS SORT OF TIME, WHEN YOU'RE IN CHARGE.

MAYBE USE ONE OF THE ROOMS UPSTAIRS.

ONE OF THE ROOMS UPSTAIRS?

( giggles ) YEAH.

USE ONE OF THE ROOMS AS A PLACE TO REST AFTER A BUSY DAY.

A LITTLE OASIS, JUST FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.

HE'LL UNDERSTAND. RIGHT.

HERE'S MY NUMBER.

THERE'S NO HURRY. ASK HIM WHENEVER YOU LIKE, YOU KNOW, WHEN THE CHANCE COMES UP.

BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE NOT MEANT TO LET ANYONE IN.

Charlotte: THANK YOU, JOE.

AND DON'T FORGET TO GO EXPLORING FOR ME.

( door opens, closes )


WELL, FUCK ME.

NO NEED TO SCREAM WHEN YOU SEE ME.

( stammers ) I WASN'T--

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN THE HOUSE, MR. GRAHAM.

I'VE JUST BEEN GOING THROUGH SOME BOXES, SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE.

YEAH?

I'M GONNA HAVE A LITTLE WASH AND BRUSH-UP.

THEN...

MAYBE--

UH, CAN I--

CAN I TAKE YOU FOR A MEAL?

BE GREAT IF YOU WOULD COME.

OH, OKAY.

DIFFICULT TO DECIDE, ISN'T IT?

I'LL HAVE A LOBSTER.

COUPLE OF THEM LOBSTERS, PLEASE.

I-- I THINK I'LL HAVE THE SEA BASS.

YEAH-- YES, I-- I THINK THAT'S RIGHT.

NO, WAIT...

GIANT TIGER PRAWNS.

MAYBE THAT'S A BETTER IDEA.

NO NO NO NO.

THE-- THE TURBOT WITH GINGER.

I'LL-- I'LL GO FOR THAT.

( chuckles ) YES, I-- I THINK SO.

THANK YOU.

ALL THAT MONEY AND HE STILL CAN'T MAKE A DECISION.

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, JOE, YOU'D BE RIGHT.

NOT THE FRIENDLIEST PLACE IN HERE, IS IT?

BUT I LIKE IT.

WHEN I GO OUT-- AND I DO GO OUT.

I HATE THE IDEA OF BECOMING A RECLUSE.

( chattering ) PEOPLE CAN OFTEN BE QUITE STRANGE, YOU KNOW, THE WAY THEY REACT AROUND ME.

YES, PEOPLE ARE EITHER VERY LOUD AND TALKATIVE, LIKE THEY'VE TAKEN A BET WITH SOMEONE BEFORE THEY COME UP TO ME.

WRITE A CHECK, CAN'T YOU, FOR A COUPLE OF MILLION BEFORE THE END OF THE NIGHT... FOR ME.

( chuckling ) JUST GO FOR IT.

IT'LL MAKE US BOTH FEEL SO GOOD.

Graham's voice: OR THEY GO ON AND ON AND ON...

UH, EXCUSE ME. ...ABOUT SOME UNLIKELY SUBJECT.

I THINK I'VE GOT SOMETHING THAT WILL REALLY INTEREST YOU.

I'VE INVENTED A NEW TOILET BRUSH THAT CLEANS ITSELF AFTER IT'S CLEANED THE TOILET.

Graham's voice: VERY STRANGE.

SO WHAT ABOUT YOU, JOE?

ME? I'VE LEFT SCHOOL.

AND?

WELL, THAT'S ALL.

AND YOU DON'T GET FRIGHTENED...

ALL ALONE IN THAT HOUSE?

( laughs )

I'M NOT FRIGHTENED OF THE HOUSE.

WHAT ARE YOU FRIGHTENED OF, JOE?

DON'T KNOW.

I HAVE TO THINK, YOU KNOW, WHAT I'M SCARED OF.

SO, JOE, IF I WAS TO ASK YOU TO TAKE A FEW MESSAGES FOR ME, YOU WOULDN'T MIND?

( silverware clattering ) BEING A MESSENGER FOR ME, JUST ONCE OR TWICE?

I WOULDN'T MIND, NO.

THAT'D BE ALL RIGHT.

I GOT A MESSAGE FOR YA--

GOT ONE ALREADY, JUST REMEMBERED.

WHICH IS? FROM A MAN CALLED RICHARD REECE.

AH, YES, RICHARD.

HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE CAN USE THE HOUSE BETWEEN 6:00 AND 9:00, USE A ROOM-- UPSTAIRS ROOM.

HE AND A FRIEND, SHE'S CALLED CHARLOTTE.

DO YOU KNOW WHO HE IS? HE'S A MEMBER OF THE GOVERNMENT, ISN'T HE?

YES, HE'S THE YOUNGEST MEMBER OF THE CABINET.

BRILLIANT BOY, VERY SMART.

BUT HE'S MARRIED.

AND HIS CONSTITUENCY IS IN LONDON.

SO HE DOESN'T HAVE A SEPARATE FLAT, YOU KNOW, AWAY FROM HIS FAMILY.

SO I CAN SEE IT WOULD BE PERFECT.

HE CAN ALWAYS TELL EVERYBODY HE'S COMING TO VISIT ME.

WHAT'S THE WOMAN LIKE?

AH, SHE'S OKAY.

QUITE PRETTY.

SHE'S REALLY PRETTY.

WELL, THAT'S AN INTRIGUING MESSAGE, JOE.

IT MIGHT BE GOOD FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN IN THAT HOUSE.

WE'LL SEE.

Joe's voice: SO IN THE LAST FEW DAYS, I'VE BEGUN TO TAKE MESSAGES FOR HIM.

IT USUALLY HAPPENS IN THE AFTERNOONS, AND I HAVE TO TAKE A LETTER.

LIKE TO THESE GUYS THAT RUN ALL HIS MONEY, TAKE CARE OF IT.

MR. GRAHAM WON'T BE COMING ALONG TODAY.

I'VE GOT AN ENVELOPE HERE WHICH HE SAID WILL MAKE EVERYTHING CLEAR.

Joe's voice: AND THEN THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE--

I THINK IT WAS ON TUESDAY--

BUT WHEN THE PERSON SEEMED A BIT UPSET...

MR. GRAHAM SAID HE CAN'T HAVE DINNER TONIGHT AFTER ALL.

IS THAT WHAT HE SAYS?

I DOUBT THAT HE CAN REMEMBER WHAT I LOOK LIKE.

MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING.

Joe's voice: AND YESTERDAY I TOOK THE IMPORTANT MESSAGE, THE ONE MR. REECE HAD ASKED ME ABOUT.

HE WANTED ME TO GO TO THE BUILDING WHERE HE WAS MEETING A GROUP OF BUSINESSMEN.

( laughs )

COULD YOU LET HIM IN? ( snaps )

JOE.

THIS IS JOE.

HE WORKS WITH ELLIOT GRAHAM.

AS YOU KNOW, I MEET MR. GRAHAM QUITE A LOT TO DISCUSS THE POSSIBILITY OF HIM CONTRIBUTING TO VARIOUS PROJECTS AND CHARITIES IN MY CONSTITUENCY.

UH, JUST GIVE US A MINUTE, WILL YOU?

COME SIT OVER HERE.

Richard: IT'S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU, JOE.

( chattering ) Richard: SO...

I'VE GOT A REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGE.

REALLY? HE SAYS IT'S OKAY--

MR. GRAHAM.

HE SAYS HE WANTS THE HOUSE TO BE USED FOR SOMETHING.

IS THAT WHAT HE SAID? WELL, THAT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?

LET THEM WAIT. IT'S GOOD FOR THEM TO SEE SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T QUITE FIT--

YOU AND ME TALKING.

YOU'RE NOT THE USUAL SORT OF ADVISOR.

Woman: SO, CHOSEN ONE?

OH, I LIKE THAT COLOR.

OH, THAT ONE.

BUT I'LL TAKE THAT ONE.

THE ONE THAT'S REALLY REALLY MOLDY.

( laughs )

SO IS THAT WHAT HE'S INTO NOW?

OLD CHEESES?

WHEN YOU'RE WORTH A FEW BILLION BUT ALL YOU WANT TO MAKE YOU REALLY HAPPY IS SOME BLEU CHEESE.

IS THAT IT? IS THAT WHAT HE'S LIKE?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M ONLY THE MESSENGER.

THEY'RE A WONDERFUL COLOR, THE CHEESES.

YOU'VE MADE A GREAT SELECTION. GOOD.

YOU DON'T WANT TO STAY AND HELP ME EAT THEM?

I-- I CAN'T, TONIGHT.

I'VE GOTTA GET BACK. RIGHT. FINE.

JUST BEFORE YOU GO, I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

COME IN, IT'S ALL RIGHT. THERE'S NOTHING ALARMING IN HERE.

UNLESS YOU COUNT ME, OF COURSE.

I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO SEE SOME PICTURES OF THE BIG HOUSE AS IT USED TO BE.

AND SOME DRAWINGS I DID OF IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING IN THEM.

MAYBE I FOUND THE HOUSE VERY SPOOKY AS A CHILD, WHICH I DID.

SPOOKY? WHICH YOU CLEARLY DO NOT.

Graham: I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE HOUSE BOTH BEFORE AND AFTER MY FATHER BOUGHT IT.

OLD HOUSES DECAY AMAZINGLY QUICKLY WHEN THEY'RE EMPTY.

THAT'S WHY I'M KEEPING IT ALIVE SO I CAN FIND OUT MORE ABOUT IT AND DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

SO IT'S NOT AS BARMY AS IT SEEMS--

HAVING IT CLEANED ALL THE TIME.

YOUR CASTLE'S NICE.

AH, YES. IT IS, ISN'T IT?

I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT THAT ONE DAY.

HI, JOE, HOW ARE YOU?

I'M FINE.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? THANK YOU.

MAYBE A GLASS OF WATER?

( water running )

I'M JUST LETTING IT RUN SO IT'S REALLY NICE AND COLD.

THANK YOU.

CAN I HAVE ONE OF THESE?

SURE.

TAKE AS MANY AS YOU LIKE.

I'M FINE.

( bell ringing )

THERE HE IS.

I'LL LET HIM IN.

SO, JOE, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

NOT BAD. YEAH?

Richard: ANY VISITORS?

Joe: NO, NOT REALLY. NO? IS CHARLOTTE HERE YET?

YOU LOOK GREAT.

Richard: DOESN'T SHE LOOK GREAT? YEAH.

JOE, WE'RE JUST GONNA GO UPSTAIRS FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

AS ARRANGED.

Joe: HEY, JUST WAIT-- WAIT A MINUTE.

JUST GIVE ME A CALL ON MY MOBILE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

GREAT, JOE. THANKS.

I'VE ALREADY CHOSEN ONE. I THINK YOU'LL APPROVE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE JOE SOME MONEY SO HE CAN GO TO THE MOVIES OR SOMETHING.

IT'S A LITTLE BIT WEIRD, ISN'T IT, HIM SITTING DOWNSTAIRS?

WELL, IT'S NO WEIRDER THAN GOING TO A HOTEL AND A LOT MORE PRIVATE THAN A FRIEND'S FLAT.

HE'D BE UPSET IF WE ASKED HIM TO GO OUT.

HE'S THE CONCIERGE.

OH, WHAT ABOUT ELLIOT GRAHAM?

WHAT ABOUT HIM? HE'S NOT GONNA POP UP.

HE WANTS THE HOUSE TO BE USED.

( moaning, laughing )

( rock music blaring from headphones )

( singing )


( phone buzzing )

YES? IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, JOE?

YEAH, I'M FINE.

DO YOU WANT ANYTHING? No, that's very kind of you, but no.

WE'LL BE DOWN IN A MOMENT.

HE ASKED IF WE WANTED ANYTHING. ( laughs )

THANK YOU, JOE.

I'M OFF NOW.

Joe's voice: HE LEAVES FIRST.

AND THEN SHE STAYS FOR A BIT AND LEAVES ABOUT 15 MINUTES LATER.

SOMETIMES WE HAVE A LITTLE CHAT TOGETHER.

I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE ALL THIS DOWN BECAUSE... NOBODY'S READING THIS BOOK.

AND I WANT TO REMEMBER IT.

THEY ALWAYS PHONE IN THE MORNING TO TELL ME TO EXPECT THEM.

THE WHOLE DAY CHANGES WHEN I KNOW THEY'RE GONNA VISIT.

HE ALWAYS ARRIVES SEPARATELY.

I THINK THEY'VE STOPPED WORRYING ABOUT ME GOING UPSTAIRS...

WHICH OF COURSE, I WOULD NEVER DO.

I DO ALL THE SHEETS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT MRS. HOPKINS WILL SAY.

AND I THINK IT'S PROBABLY BEST THAT SHE DON'T KNOW.

PEANUT BUTTER IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING.

Joe's voice: MR. REECE SPENDS TIME WITH ME SOMETIMES ON HIS WAY OUT.

I LIKE BOTH OF THEM.

IT IS QUITE FUNNY, JOE, ME BEING PALLY WITH A BILLIONAIRE.

'CAUSE WE NEVER HAD MUCH WHEN I WAS SMALLER.

MY FATHER'S A RAILWAY SIGNALMAN.

STILL DOES IT. ( chuckles )

FOR SOME REASON, JOE, I'VE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN MYSELF.

I WAS FULL OF CONFIDENCE ALL THE TIME.

I KNEW I'D GET A SCHOLARSHIP.

I KNEW I'D GET A GOOD JOB, KNEW I'D GET INTO PARLIAMENT.

NEVER FELT INFERIOR TO ANYBODY. NOR SHOULD YOU, JOE.

NO? NO.

'CAUSE YOU DON'T MISS MUCH, DO YOU?

( keys jangling )

YOU'RE IN A HURRY, YOUNG MAN. YEAH.

I-- I JUST GOTTA DO SOMETHING.

GOT VISITORS, HAVE YOU?

VERY DISCREET, THAT'S GOOD, JOE-- ADMIRABLE.

( panting, laughing )

HEY, YOU WON'T-- YES, JOE?

YOU-- YOU WON'T JUST TURN UP, YOU KNOW--

SUDDENLY, LIKE WHEN I FOUND YOU WITHOUT TELLING ME?

I'LL TRY NOT TO.

( bell ringing )

( panting ) HI, JOE.

YOU'RE OUT OF BREATH.

NO.

NO, NOT REALLY.

( water running )

WHO NEEDS AN ENORMOUS CAR LIKE THAT IN THE CITY?

RIDICULOUS WOMAN.

MIND YOU, COULD BE ME IN A FEW MONTHS.

IS THAT ELLIOT GRAHAM?

MUST BE, MUSTN'T IT?

THAT MAN STARING.

Joe: YEAH, THAT'S HIM.

I'M SORRY, I JUST DON'T LIKE THE IDEA OF HIM WATCHING.

OR LOOKING AT ME AT ALL, REALLY.

WELL, IT'S OKAY.

HE WON'T COME IN.

I'VE DONE 95% OF YOUR FATHER'S PAPERS NOW, TRACING HIS FORTUNE RIGHT THE WAY BACK TO HIS FIRST JOB WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG MAN BEFORE THE WAR.

I FOLLOWED ALL HIS TRAVELS.

I LOOKED INTO HOW HE MADE HIS MONEY, BOTH IN THE FINANCIAL SERVICES SECTOR AND THE HOTELS HE OWNED.

I LOOKED INTO THE HISTORY OF THE HOUSE TOO.

AND I HAVE TO SAY, I KNOW YOU WANTED ME TO DIG REALLY DEEP, BUT IT'S ALL ABOVEBOARD.

THERE ARE NO NASTY SURPRISES, NO SKELETONS.

IT'S ALL FINE, IS IT? SHIPSHAPE?

ABSOLUTELY.

LOOK, JOE HAS PROVIDED US WITH SOME SWEETS.

THAT'S FANTASTIC.

( laughs ) I TOLD YOU HE'D LOOK AFTER US.

I SAW ELLIOT GRAHAM STARING OVER HERE JUST NOW.

MADE ME COLD ALL OVER FOR SOME REASON.

HE'S FINE.

A LITTLE PECULIAR, OF COURSE, BUT SHOW ME A NORMAL BILLIONAIRE.

WHY IS HE LETTING US USE THIS HOUSE?

'CAUSE HE LIKES ME.

( giggles )

AND HE REALLY RATES ME.

YOU...

ALWAYS THINK THAT'S THE REASON FOR EVERYTHING.

( men shouting )

( chattering, yelling )

YOU OKAY, LOVE?

YEAH.

I'M GOING OUT TONIGHT. WELL, HAVE A GOOD TIME.

( train clacking )

JOE?

I'VE MET SOMEBODY NEW AND HE'S GOING TO SPAIN FOR A FEW MONTHS TO WORK.

AND...

WELL...

HE'S ASKED ME TO GO WITH HIM.

WOULD THAT BE ALL RIGHT?

YEAH. YEAH, OF COURSE.

ARE YOU SURE?

GREAT.

FEELS LIKE I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS.

WELL, YOU'VE SEEN ME AT THE HOUSE.

YES, BUT...

YOU'RE ALWAYS SO BUSY...

KEEPING WATCH AT THAT DOOR.

YEAH. YEAH, I LIKE KEEPING WATCH.

AND I LIKE BEING IN THAT HOUSE.

OH, THAT WAS GOOD.

THAT WAS SO COLD.

YOU GOT ANY BROTHERS OR SISTERS, JOE?

NO. WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAD?

WHERE'S YOUR DAD? OH, HE DON'T LIVE WITH US.

HE VISITS ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR.

HE GRUNTS.

NEVER SAYS ANYTHING, HE JUST GRUNTS.

WELL, THAT'S NOT VERY GOOD--

A GRUNTING DAD.

OH, IT'S OKAY.

( taps glass )

ARE YOU MARRIED?

YES.

I AM, JOE.

I ALSO HAVE TWO KIDS.

LEO AND RACHEL, AGE SIX AND FOUR.

THEY'RE GREAT, MY KIDS.

REALLY GREAT.

AND YOUR HUSBAND?

HE'S A LAWYER.

WORKS REALLY HARD.

HE'S TERRIFIC.

NO MORE QUESTIONS?

NO.

YOU CAN ASK ME, JOE.

I KNOW YOU WON'T TELL ANYONE. I TRUST YOU.

I AIN'T GOT ANY MORE QUESTIONS.

I'M ABOUT TO GO BACK TO WORK...

NOW THE KIDS ARE GOING TO SCHOOL.

I WAS A LOBBYIST-- I AM...

A LOBBYIST.

FOR MY SINS.

A POLITICAL LOBBYIST.

THAT'S HOW I MET RICHARD.

I'M VERY LUCKY... AREN'T I, JOE?

I'M VERY VERY LUCKY.

Joe's voice: HAD ANOTHER REALLY GOOD DAY TODAY.

MR. REECE GAVE ME A LIFT IN HIS CAR.

JUST FOR 10 MINUTES OR SO.

THESE ARE THE FAMOUS BOXES WE GOVERNMENT MINISTERS ARE MEANT TO TREASURE SO MUCH.

THEY'RE CHEAP AND CHEERFUL, AREN'T THEY?

IN THE OLD DAYS, APPARENTLY, THEY WERE--

THEY WERE MADE OF HIGH-QUALITY LEATHER.

SMELLED BEAUTIFUL. ( sniffs )

THAT SMELLS OF NOTHING, DOES IT?

( sniffing ) NO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE GOVERNMENT CAR?

WELL, I THOUGHT THERE'D BE WOOD AND THINGS, YOU KNOW?

FOLDING SEATS ALL AROUND. NOT ANYMORE.

MIND YOU, WHEN YOU'RE TRAVELING WITH THE PRIME MINISTER IN CONVOY WITH A MOTORCYCLE ESCORT AND EVERYTHING, IT'S FANTASTIC THE FIRST TIME YOU DO THAT.

YOU DON'T STOP FOR ANYTHING-- NOTHING.

I THINK THAT'S WHY ALL LEADERS GO A BIT BONKERS AFTER A WHILE, BECAUSE THEIR CAR NEVER STOPS.

YOU'RE A CLEVER KID, JOE.

BEEN VERY GOOD TO US.

I HOPE WE CAN CALL EACH OTHER FRIENDS. YEAH.

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT WITH MR. GRAHAM, JOE?

HE'S NOT ASKING YOU TO DO ANY STRANGE THINGS?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I JUST MEANT...

HAS HE ASKED YOU TO DO SOME RATHER ODD TASKS?

NO NO, I JUST TAKE A FEW MESSAGES FOR HIM SOMETIMES.

WELL, LET ME KNOW IF HE STARTS GETTING TOO WEIRD, YEAH?

YEAH, I WILL.

I AIN'T SEEN HIS REALLY FRIGHTENING SIDE YET, BUT I EXPECT I CAN HANDLE IT.

COME ON, COME ON, HE'S WAITING FOR YOU.

COME ON.

JOE, THERE YOU ARE. GOOD. COME IN.

COME IN. THIS IS MR. WHITTLE.

HE'S ON THE POINT OF LEAVING.

I WAS INDEED. BECAUSE WE'VE FINISHED.

ENTIRELY FINISHED, WHICH IS MARVELOUS.

MR. WHITTLE IS AN HISTORIAN.

HE'S BEEN DIGGING AROUND IN MY FATHER'S PAPERS--

AT MY REQUEST--

TRACING THE HISTORY OF ALL HIS MONEY.

Whittle: AND THE MOST REWARDING JOB ITS BEEN TOO-- FASCINATING.

AND OF COURSE, COMPLETELY PLEASANT.

GOODBYE.

DO I BELIEVE HIM?

YOU SEEM AMAZED THAT I ACTUALLY MEET ANYBODY ELSE.

NO, I WEREN'T THINKING THAT. WELL, I DO MEET PEOPLE.

AS IT HAPPENS, I'VE BEEN ASKED TO HAVE MY PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN BY A SUNDAY PAPER--

A GROUP PHOTO OF RICH PEOPLE, WOULD YOU BELIEVE?

SO, JOE, DO YOU KNOW THIS PROGRAM?

NO. PEOPLE BRING ANTIQUES FROM THEIR HOMES TO DISCOVER THEIR HISTORY, AND TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH THEY'RE WORTH OF COURSE.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE THESE OBJECTS, THESE LITTLE ANIMALS ON THE SHOW FOR ME.

OH, AND THIS AS WELL, OF COURSE.

THEY ALL COME FROM ONE OF THE HOUSES MY FATHER OWNED.

HE HAD HOUSES EVERYWHERE. THIS ONE WAS IN SCOTLAND.

YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I'M ASKING YOU OF ALL PEOPLE? WELL, YEAH.

BECAUSE I OFTEN BELIEVE YOU SHOULD USE SURPRISING PEOPLE TO DO THINGS.

THAT WAY YOU MIGHT DISCOVER MORE.

AND I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE ANIMALS.

WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME?

OI! OI!

"ANTIQUES"-- THAT WAY!

( chattering )


I THINK "MISCELLANEOUS" ON THAT ONE. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

HELLO, LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN YOUR BOX.

JUST A MOMENT.

THIS WAY.

( chattering )

DON'T LOOK AT THE CAMERA, JOE.

Expert: THIS IS A TRULY SPECTACULAR COLLECTION OF GOLD BOXES YOU'VE BROUGHT TODAY.

TELL ME ABOUT THEM.

ARE THEY YOURS? ( laughs ) NO.

AND SOMEBODY ASK YOU TO BRING THEM HERE TODAY?

YEAH, MY BOSS.

AND-- AND-- HOW-- WHERE DID HE ACQUIRE THEM?

DO YOU KNOW? DON'T KNOW.

LET'S HAVE A LITTLE LOOK AND TRY AND UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY'RE ALL ABOUT.

THIS IS A SNUFFBOX MADE OF A HARD STONE, A CONGLOMERATE WHICH IS CALLED A PUDDINGSTONE.

AND THE GOLDSMITHS USED IT TO REPRESENT THE PELT OF THE LEOPARD.

WE CAN SEE THAT HE'S HEIGHTENED THAT WORK BY GIVING IT LITTLE DIAMOND EYES WITH-- WITH RUBY TEARDUCTS AND RUBY NOSTRILS.

AND EVEN THE GOLD TONGUE MOVES UP AND DOWN BETWEEN THESE RATHER VICIOUS-LOOKING DIAMOND-SET TEETH.

TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE FROM THE COURT OF FREDERICK THE GREAT OF PRUSSIA WOULD BE WONDERFUL. TO HAVE TWO IS TRULY EXTRAORDINARY.

THIS IS MADE FOR SOMEBODY OF VERY VERY HIGH RANK IN ABOUT 1900. AND LET'S LOOK INSIDE.

POLISHED RED GOLD GLEAMING AWAY-- OH! HOLD ON.

THERE CAN'T BE MORE. YEAH, I'VE GOT THIS.

OH-- I WAS LOOKING AT IT IN THE CAR ON THE WAY UP.

( chuckles )

MY GOODNESS ME.

THAT'S WITHOUT DOUBT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SWISS-ENAMELED GOLD SNUFFBOX I'VE EVER SEEN.

IT'S AN HALLUCINOGENIC MOTH THE GOLDSMITH'S BROUGHT OUT OF HIS IMAGINATION. ( woman crying )

THE MOTH AND THE BUTTERFLY ARE EMBLEMS OF PSYCHE, GODDESS OF THE SOUL AND ALL HIGHER EMOTIONS.

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A LOVE OBJECT TO BE GIVEN FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER.

CAN YOUR BOSS REMEMBER HOW MUCH HE PAID FOR ANY OF THESE THINGS?

DON'T KNOW.

WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE WORTH? A LOT?

MORE THAN MOST CHINA ANIMALS--

YOU KNOW, THAT YOU PUT MONEY IN.

THAT'S PERFECTLY TRUE AND I THINK IT'S OUR JOB TODAY TO TRY AND VALUE THEM, REALLY.

UM, WHAT AM I GONNA SAY FOR THE BEST SWISS-ENAMELED GOLD SNUFFBOX I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?

UMM... £120,000...

( woman gasps ) AND THEN FOR A PRUSSIAN GOLD SNUFFBOX, A HIGHLY FIGURATIVE ONE, HIGHLY IMAGINATIVE ONE...

£225,000.

AND THEN COMPANION PIECE, HOW COULD IT BE WORTH LESS?

AND THEN, PERHAPS MOST SPECTACULARLY OF ALL, THE EMPEROR'S GOLD CIGARETTE CASE FROM PRE-REVOLUTIONARY RUSSIA BY FABERGE--

£320,000.

SO WHAT YOU'VE BROUGHT ME TODAY IS A GRAND TOTAL OF, UM--

OF £890,000.

( crowd gasps )

AND THEY DIDN'T TELL YOU ANY MORE ABOUT THEM THAN THAT?

Joe: NO. I'M SURE THEY HAVE A STORY TO TELL.

ANY OTHER ADVENTURES UP THERE?

NO.

AND HERE? ARE THEY COMING THIS WEEK?

NOT SURE.

HOW OFTEN DO THEY VISIT THE HOUSE?

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TELL ME HOW OFTEN THEY VISIT?

THAT'S YOUR BUSINESS, IS IT?

YEAH. QUITE RIGHT, JOE.

QUITE RIGHT. YOU KNOW IF YOU EVER WANT TO HAVE A FRIEND STAY OVER IN THE HOUSE YOURSELF, YOU CAN.

INVITE WHO YOU WANT, WHENEVER YOU WANT.

OH, THANKS. AND IF YOU WANT TO EAT IN THE LOBSTER RESTAURANT, YOU CAN USE THE RED CARD THERE.

GOES STRAIGHT ON MY ACCOUNT. FEEL FREE. INVITE WHO YOU WANT.

THANKS. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

THOUGHT I'D GO NOW. WAIT A MOMENT.

I WANTED TO GIVE YOU A PRESENT FOR HELPING ME OUT.

I DON'T NEED A PRESENT.

DON'T WORRY, YOU MIGHT NOT WANT THIS PRESENT.

WHEN YOU'RE WEALTHY AND PEOPLE WANT TO SAY THANK YOU FOR HELPING THEM OUT...

A LOT OF PEOPLE ASSUME THAT I'VE GOT SIMPLY EVERYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY WANT.

SO I GET AN AWFUL LOT OF THINGS LIKE THIS.

ANYTHING YOU WANT? Joe: MAYBE.

YEAH.

( rock music blaring from headphones )

I'M A LITTLE EARLY. CAN YOU HEAR ME?

( silent )

( knocks )

HELLO, JOE.

HELLO, JOE! HE CAN'T HEAR YOU.

Richard: I LIKE THE HEADPHONES, ESPECIALLY THOSE ANTENNAE. WHERE'D YOU GET THEM?

Richard: WE'LL SEE YOU LATER, JOE.

Charlotte: LOOK.

LOOK WHAT JOE'S DONE.

HE'S PROVIDED A FEAST.

IF YOU LOVE ME...

YOU'LL KISS ME AFTER I'VE EATEN THIS.

YOU SEE? I DIDN'T EVEN HESITATE.


GOOD NIGHT, JOE. 'NIGHT.

I WON'T BE SEEING YOU FOR A WHILE, JOE.

MAYBE FOR A LONG WHILE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I AM GOING AWAY NEXT WEEK FOR A FAMILY HOLIDAY...

WITH MY HUSBAND AND THE KIDS.

AND THEN--

ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE BACK HERE.

YOU WILL BE BACK THOUGH?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE AUTUMN.

I WISH YOU COULD TELL ME.

THIS CAN'T BE THE LAST TIME.

DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT, JOE.

YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

AND DON'T LET THAT SPOOKY MAN UPSET YOU.

REALLY REALLY...

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

EXCUSE ME.

HERE, I'LL SIGN FOR THE FOOD NOW.

'NIGHT, HARRY. ( grunts )

( chattering )

( bell rings ) ( sighs )

SO WHAT ARE YOU CHOOSING TODAY THEN?

FOUR KILOS OF PARMA HAM THAT WILL TAKE ME A WEEK TO SLICE?

WANT TO SPEND A NIGHT IN THE BIG HOUSE?

NO... THANK YOU. I WOULDN'T.

WHY NOT?

JESUS, JOE, JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT THE RED CARD FOR THE CHEESES DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN COME IN HERE AND RATTLE A BUNCH OF KEYS IN MY FACE AND SAY HOW ABOUT IT?

IN THE BIG HOUSE-- YOU'RE WRONG, IT'S NOT FOR THAT.

THOUGHT YOU'D WANT TO SEE THE HOUSE.

AREN'T YOU INTERESTED IN HISTORY?

I'M VERY INTERESTED IN HISTORY, AS IT HAPPENS.

YEAH.

JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT'S GOT TO DO WITH IT THOUGH.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TRY AND PICK SOMEBODY OFF THE STREET?

WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME, JOE? SEE YOUR FAMILY.

'CAUSE I GOT A WHOLE HOUSE I CAN USE, THAT'S WHY.


Joe's voice: TONIGHT I HAD A REAL SURPRISE.

I WAS OUT LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY THAT MIGHT WANT TO SEE THE HOUSE, WHEN SUDDENLY... THERE HE WAS.

MAYBE HE WAS ALSO LOOKING.

THE FUNNY THING WAS, WE NODDED TO EACH OTHER LIKE IT WAS A REALLY USUAL THING.

AND THEN WE WENT ON OUR OWN WAY, LIKE WE SHOULDN'T DISTURB EACH OTHER.

( ringing ) Girl: Hello?

( kids chattering in background ) HI, CHARLOTTE.

JOE? YEAH, I JUST THOUGHT I'D CALL.

( kids chattering ) WELL, I CAN'T TALK NOW.

IT'S REALLY LATE AND THE KIDS ARE STILL AWAKE.

YEAH, I CAN HEAR 'EM.

YEAH-- I'M COMING!

WHAT IS IT YOU WANTED, JOE?

NOTHING. NOTHING REALLY.

Just saying hello.

WELL, I CAN'T TALK NOW.

YOU TAKE CARE, JOE.

YOU THINK THIS SUIT IS GOOD, LAARNI?

THE RIGHT CHOICE? OH YES, SIR.

YOU KNOW THIS PHOTO THEY'RE DOING...

APPARENTLY, IT'S THE PHOTOGRAPHIC HOLY GRAIL--

GETTING THE EIGHT RICHEST PEOPLE IN BRITAIN TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME, STANDING THERE LIKE IN A SCHOOL PHOTO.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ANYONE WILL TURN UP.

I HATE THE IDEA OF GOING, I REALLY DO.

BUT I'VE GOT TO DO IT. I'VE GOT TO GET OUT. AFTER ALL, I USED TO GO OUT.

WANT SOMEWHERE TO STAY TONIGHT?

I LOOK AFTER A BIG HOUSE. YOU WANT TO SEE IT?

( sniffs )

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR IT? NOTHING.

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

I'LL THINK ABOUT THE HOUSE.

I WOULDN'T MIND A MEAL THOUGH.

YEAH, A MEAL? SURE I CAN DO THAT.

THAT'S NO PROBLEM EITHER.

I'M UNBELIEVABLY NERVOUS, SIMON.

WHY AM I DOING THIS?

IF I DON'T LIKE THE FOOD, MATE, I WON'T STAY.

YOU'LL LIKE THE FOOD.

JUST WAIT HERE, SIMON. I MIGHT BE OUT AT ANY TIME.

I'VE GOT TO MAKE MYSELF.

ABSOLUTELY DREADING IT. TOTAL DREAD.

JUST LET ME NOT BE THE FIRST, PLEASE.

IF THERE'S A GOD, DON'T LET ME BE FIRST.

( muttering ) GHASTLY. SIMPLY GHASTLY.

BLIMEY.

IS THAT WHAT WE LOOK LIKE, GRAYING MEN IN CRUMPLED SUITS?

SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT, MR. GRAHAM.

IT'S GOING TO BE A HISTORIC PICTURE.

( coughing ) EVERYONE'S TURNED UP.

I'M SURPRISED THEY HAVE. YES, IT'S GREAT.

PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO THIS PICTURE FOR YEARS AND NOW WE'VE MANAGED IT.

WE'LL BE DOING THE INTERVIEWS AFTERWARDS.

INTERVIEW? NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT AN INTERVIEW.

WELL, EVERYONE'S DOING ONE.


WHEN YOU SEE US ALL TOGETHER YOU-- YOU REALIZE WHAT AN ODD-LOOKING BUNCH WE REALLY ARE.

HOW DO WE DECIDE WHO GOES ON WHICH STEP?

WHO GOES AT THE FRONT? IS IT BY WHO'S WORTH MOST?

AT ABOUT FOUR BILLION, I'M, UH-- I'M A MERE MINNOW. I THINK A MERE STICKLEBACK.

I'LL BE AT THE BACK-- SHALL I GET YOU ANOTHER DRINK, MR. GRAHAM?

( muttering ) PLEASE STAY HERE. I'M A TRIFLE NERVOUS, YOU KNOW.

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO STOP TALKING--

I DON'T KNOW ANY OF YOU I DON'T THINK, DO I?

YOU KNOW, I JUST-- I HAD A GREAT--

WHAT WOULD MAKE THIS PICTURE EVEN BETTER--

NOW THIS IS A GREAT IDEA, YOU'LL LIKE THIS.

NOW YOU PROBABLY THINK I'M GOING TO SAY "LET'S DO IT NAKED."

WELL, THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN DOING IT NAKED.

ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS VERY POPULAR IN THIS COUNTRY AT THE MOMENT, SO MAYBE WE SHOULD.

BUT THIS IS A GREAT IDEA. LISTEN TO THIS.

BECAUSE I'M NOT A U.K. CITIZEN, I HARDLY PAY ANY TAX.

EXTRAORDINARY SITUATION, UNIQUE TO THIS PLACE, THAT'S WHY WE'RE ALL IN THIS CITY, ISN'T IT?

AND NOT IN THE U.S. OR SOMEWHERE ELSE.

THAT'S WHY WE'VE COME TO LONDON, MAY AS WELL BE HONEST.

SO WHEN-- WHEN THEY TAKE THE PICTURE, WE SHOULD ALL BE CRYING OUT

"TAX US! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, TAX US!"

( laughs ) THAT WOULD CAUSE QUITE A STIR, WOULDN'T IT? ( giggles )

US ALL HOLDING UP PLACARDS--

"TAX US! TAX US! TAX US!"

( laughs )

I CAN DO THE PLACARDS.

I'M A BIT OF AN ARTIST AS IT HAPPENS, YOU KNOW.

I-- I-- I SEEM TO HAVE HAD A SUDDEN ATTACK OF TOURETTE'S, DON'T I?

CAN'T STOP TALKING AND I'M--

I'M SAYING COMPLETELY THE WRONG THINGS.

AND, WELL-- YOU-- I REALLY MUST GO.

EXCUSE ME, I REALLY HAVE TO GO.

I'LL JUST, UM-- UH--

REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU ALL.

REALLY. I--

Journalist: SHIT. FUCK.

BLIMEY. WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING?

DRIVE, SIMON. FOR GOD'S SAKE, DRIVE.

I'VE JUST MADE SUCH AN EXHIBITION OF MYSELF. I WAS COMPLETELY LUDICROUS.

( keys jangling ) THIS IS A CREEPY PLACE.

THIS IS FUCKING CREEPY.

YOU REALLY SLEEP HERE?

YEAH. SOME DAYS.

I LIKE IT.

I'LL SHOW YOU AROUND. IT'S VERY BIG.

YEAH.

JESUS, THIS IS A SCARY PLACE!

THERE ARE BAD VIBES HERE.

THERE'RE SOME VERY BAD VIBES.

( laughs ) IT'S FINE.

IT REALLY IS.

WHY'D YOU BRING ME HERE, JOE?

THOUGHT YOU'D SCARE ME? NO.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO.

YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE NOW, DO YOU?

THAT'S INTERESTING, BECAUSE I SEEM TO REMEMBER YOU BEGGING ME TO COME HERE!

WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO GO NOW, JOE?

EH?!

BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE IT HERE, SO I THOUGHT IT BETTER YOU WENT.

THAT'S FOR ME TO DECIDE!

WHEN YOU'VE BEEN TO AS MANY PLACES AS I HAVE, I'VE GOT MY OWN WAY OF DECIDING WHERE I WANT TO STAY.

AND YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT THAT IS.

WHEN I WENT TO FRANCE, THEY LIKED EVERYTHING I DID...

OFFERED ME A FOUR-YEAR CONTRACT.

PAID HOLIDAYS AS WELL.

SAME HOTEL THAT TOM CRUISE STAYS IN.

( keys clattering ) HARRY!

JOE! HARRY!

JOE, DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME, MATE, COME ON!

JOE, DON'T MAKE ME COME AND LOOK FOR YOU!

( keys jangling ) HARRY!

Street kid: COME ON, JOE!

HARRY, WHERE ARE YOU?! Street kid: COME ON, MATE!

HARRY!

HARRY!

HARRY! HARRY!

HARRY, WAKE UP!

WAKE UP!

HARRY! WILL YOU FUCKING--

JESUS CHRIST! WAKE UP!

HARRY! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

Street kid: JOE! JOE!

JOE?

DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME, JOE.

YOU COME IN RIGHT NOW, RIGHT HERE AND TELL ME WHY YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE.

AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I WANT TO DO ABOUT THAT.

HERE I AM, JOE. ( door slams )

I HEARD SHOUTING IN MY HOUSE!

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!

THANK YOU, MR. GRAHAM.

THAT SEEMED TO WORK QUITE WELL, DIDN'T IT, JOE?

YEAH. HARRY'S DRUNK.

HE CERTAINLY IS.

WE MUST GET YOU BETTER PROTECTION, JOE.

BUT MAYBE FOR NOW WE CAN BORROW HIS BEER.

I HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHT TONIGHT TOO, JOE.

SORRY TO HEAR THAT.

I MADE AN IDIOT OF MYSELF.

I WAS LIKE A MAN LET OUT OF AN INSTITUTION AFTER 20 YEARS OF SOLITARY.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I DON'T LIKE THIS HOUSE, BUT I DON'T.

MAYBE TOO MANY GHOSTS, PEOPLE I REMEMBER.

THERE ARE NO GHOSTS HERE, MR. GRAHAM.

RIGHT, JOE.

NONE OF ANY KIND? NO.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I SHOULD COME HERE MORE OFTEN, SHOULDN'T I?

COME ON A VISIT-- SEE EVERYONE AGAIN.

MR. GRAHAM.

Graham: HELLO, JOE. HELLO, EVERYONE.

IT'S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU, MR. GRAHAM.

YES, IT'S BEEN FAR TOO LONG.

THE FLOOR LOOKS WONDERFUL.

EVERYTHING IS SO CLEAN.

SO WHO'S GOING TO JOIN ME FOR A LITTLE FILM SHOW IN THE CINEMA?

A CHANCE TO HAVE A BREAK.

AS YOU CAN SEE, PHILIP HAS GOT SOME FILMS HERE.

WHO'S GOING TO JOIN ME?

I-- I'M SORRY, I'M A LITTLE BUSY TODAY, MR. GRAHAM...

FOR THE FILMS. AND...

I THINK THE REST OF THE STAFF HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO TOO.

Graham: REALLY?

TOO BUSY FOR A FILM SHOW?

DON'T I HAVE ANY TAKERS AT ALL?

HOW ABOUT YOU, JOE?

SURE. I CAN COME.

MY FATHER BUILT THIS TO SHOW HOLLYWOOD FILMS...

TO IMPRESS HIS FRIENDS.

YOU KNOW...

I WATCH A LOT OF MOVIES, A LOT OF TV, ESPECIALLY THE OLD ONES. I HAVE THE TIME.

AND I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF LOOKING AT THE BACKGROUNDS WHEN THE FILM GOES OUTSIDE.

YOU KNOW, THE OLD CARS, THE CLOTHES, THE PEOPLE'S FACES, THE OLD BUILDINGS.

SO THIS IS A BIT OF A PERSONAL WHIM OF MINE.

FILM THEY SHOT TO BE IN THE BACKGROUND OF THE STORY, WHICH THEY CALLED PHANTOM RIDES, JOE.

RIGHT. THAT'S ALL IT IS THEN?

YEAH. THAT'S WHY NOBODY WANTED TO COME.

( trolley bell rings )

BECAUSE THE CAMERA'S ALWAYS MOVING, I FIND THE BRAIN MOVES WITH IT, JOE.

IT'S HOW WE SEE THINGS NOW, FROM A CAR OR FROM A BUS-- NOT THAT I'VE BEEN ON A BUS RECENTLY, JOE.

SO YOU REALLY FIND YOURSELF TIME TRAVELING.

I'VE HAD SOME SOUND ADDED OF COURSE, WHICH I THINK WORKS QUITE WELL.

( clock tower chiming )

Graham: AND YOU DO FEEL, DON'T YOU, THAT YOU'RE-- YOU'RE RIDING INTO THE PAST?

DON'T YOU, JOE?

YEAH.

YEAH, ARE THEY VERY LONG, THESE GHOST RIDES?

PHANTOM RIDES, JOE. ( car horn beeps )

THIS IS THE LANDSCAPE OF MY FATHER'S YOUTH, JOE.

THE STREETS WHERE HE WAS YOUNG.

BECAUSE, SOMEHOW, I'VE GOT TO FACE THE PAST, FIND OUT IF THERE IS ANYTHING I NEED WORRY ABOUT.

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THEN?

UP THERE?

IN A WAY.

I'M LOOKING FOR A BIT OF COURAGE I SUPPOSE, A BIT OF ENERGY.

EVER SINCE MY FATHER DIED SIX YEARS AGO, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT.

( crowd cheering )

Graham: I LIKE THIS BIT. ( train whistle blares )

I WAS JUST A FARMER, JOE, WITH A RATHER RAMSHACKLE FARM WHILE MY FATHER WAS BUSY RUNNING HIS FORTUNE.

I LOVE CATTLE.

WELL, I LOVE ANIMALS IN GENERAL, BUT CATTLE IN PARTICULAR.

( mooing )

SO I FEEL I'VE GOT TO GET TO GRIPS...

WITH HOW I'VE ENDED UP WHO I AM.

( dog barking )

UNTIL I DO, IT'S LIKE EVERYTHING'S BLOCKED. I'M STUCK, JOE.

AFTER ALL, WITH ALL THE MONEY I'VE GOT, WHAT I COULD DO.

I COULD HELP WITH DISEASE IN AFRICA LIKE OTHERS ARE DOING.

I COULD HELP CONTRIBUTE TO CONSERVATION.

I COULD HELP SAVE THINGS, BUILD THINGS--

YOU COULD. I COULD!

I NEED TO DISCOVER MORE, JOE, ABOUT MY FATHER...

ABOUT HIS MONEY.

I'M THINKING ALL THE TIME, I CAN'T SPEND THE MONEY UNTIL I KNOW ABOUT IT...

UNTIL I UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY HOW IT WAS ALL MADE.

AH, THAT'S GOOD.

Graham: YES, ISN'T IT?

Joe's voice: I WENT OUT FOR A WALK WITH HIM TODAY.

I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM KILLING PEOPLE WITH HIS BARE HANDS.

AND WHETHER HE REALLY DID IT OR NOT.

IF HE'D DO IT AGAIN.

WERE YOU IN THE ARMY, MR. GRAHAM?

I WAS.

WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG, I BURIED MYSELF IN THE ARMY FOR ABOUT SEVEN YEARS, TO STOP MYSELF HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT WHO I WAS.

( upbeat music playing )

OH, I WAS HOPING THIS WOULD BE WAS HAPPENING TODAY.

I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON'T GET OUT VERY MUCH LIKE ME, JOE, WHEN YOU DO EVERYTHING SEEMS RATHER BRIGHT AND VIVID.


YOU CAN'T REALLY TELL IF THEY KNOW EACH OTHER OR IF THEY'RE COMPLETE STRANGERS.

Joe: THERE'S TINA!

I NEVER THOUGHT SHE'D BE DOING THIS.

JOE! MR. GRAHAM.

HELLO, TINA.

GOOD TO SEE YOU OUT AND ABOUT, AWAY FROM ALL THE CHEESES. ( chuckles )

SINCE I DON'T SUPPOSE I'M GOING TO GET EITHER OF YOU TO DANCE, WHY DON'T YOU COME SIT OVER THERE? I'VE GOT SOME FRUIT.

( soft music playing )


WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY, MR. GRAHAM, WHEN YOU'RE NOT EATING STUFF FROM THE DELI?

Graham: THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION, TINA.

WELL, I RECEIVE A LOT OF REPORTS ABOUT MY MONEY, OF COURSE.

I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE SENSE OF MY FATHER'S ARCHIVE, FIND OUT ABOUT HIS FINANCIAL HISTORY.

I KEEP HIRING DIFFERENT PEOPLE, BUT I AM NOT SURE THEY'RE GETTING AT THE TRUTH.

HERE, YOU SHOULD GET TINA TO DO IT.

( Tina scoffs ) THE WAY SHE SLICES THAT SALAMI, SHE'LL GET THROUGH IT ALL RIGHT. ( Graham laughs )

AND SHE LIKES HISTORY TOO, DON'T SHE?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT DOING?

WHATEVER IT IS, I COULD HAVE A TRY.

Graham: THESE ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT BOXES--

ALL MY FATHER'S DIARIES AND LETTERS.

THERE'S MORE OVER IN THE BIG HOUSE.

I'LL HAVE THEM BROUGHT OVER.

OKAY.

I'LL START READING THIS LOT THEN, EVERY PAGE.

I'LL DO IT THREE DAYS A WEEK.

I'M STILL GOING TO DO TWO AT THE DELI SO IT WILL TAKE ME QUITE A WHILE, MR. GRAHAM.

RIGHT. I SEE.

KEEPING THE DELI ON, JUST IN CASE. MMM.

A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALL THESE ALREADY, OF COURSE.

SO IF YOU READ THEIR FINDINGS, THEN ANYTHING YOU UNCOVER THAT DOESN'T FIT OR CONTRADICTS, JUST LET ME KNOW.

I JUST FEEL THEY MAY HAVE MISSED SOMETHING.

AND YOU THINK I'LL SPOT IT?

WELL, ON THE FACE OF IT, TINA, IT SEEMS UNLIKELY, BUT--

BUT WORTH A TRY.

I AGREE.

HELLO, JOE.

IT'S ME AGAIN.

HOW I'VE MISSED THIS KITCHEN.

AND I'VE MISSED YOU, JOE. OF COURSE.

LOOKS FANTASTIC, DOESN'T HE?

Richard: THERE'S SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOU, JOE.

IS IT YOUR HAIR?

WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING'S CHANGED.

TELL US YOUR NEWS. A LOT'S BEEN HAPPENING.

THERE'S A NEW SECURITY GUARD CALLED MARTIN.

HE SAYS EVEN LESS THAN THE LAST ONE.

HARRY WAS A DRUNK THOUGH, BUT I THINK MARTIN STAYS AWAKE.

SOME OF THE CLEANERS HAVE LEFT.

MY MUM'S GONE TO SPAIN.

SHE SENDS ME POSTCARDS.

AND MR. GRAHAM HAS HIRED TINA, THE GIRL FROM THE DELI, TO HELP WITH HIS FATHER'S PAPERS BECAUSE THE HISTORIANS FAILED TO--

HE HASN'T? THE GIRL FROM THE DELI?

HE HASN'T DONE THAT. YEAH.

THAT'S WONDERFUL, ISN'T IT, CHARLOTTE?

THE GIRL FROM THE DELI TO DO HIS RESEARCH?

HE REALLY HAS GONE INSANE NOW. DON'T YOU THINK, JOE?

MR. ELLIOT'S NOT MAD. HE'S A BIT--

MAYBE YOU SHOULD PAY HIM A VISIT, SEE WHAT YOU THINK, SEE IF HE'S MAD OR--

JESUS, NO. I'M NOT SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THAT SCARY GUY UNLESS I HAVE TO.

Richard: COME ON, WE'VE GOT TO RECHRISTEN THE ROOM.

I PUT A TELLY IN THERE...

IN CASE YOU YOU WANTED IT.

RIGHT, AND THE HEATING'S ON AND EVERYTHING?

YEAH, OF COURSE.


IT'S YOU. HELLO, JOE.

SORRY, I WAS JUST HAVING AN AFTERNOON NAP.

IT WAS SO QUIET, I THOUGHT I COULD.

I WAS JUST PASSING.

ONE OF THE GIRLS LET ME IN.

IT'S ONLY ME TODAY.

RIGHT. I NEED TO BE ON MY OWN.

( Charlotte crying )

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I AM SORRY. I'M BEING VERY STUPID.

IS IT ABOUT RICHARD? NO.

NO, IT'S CERTAINLY NOT ABOUT RICHARD. NO.

SOMETIMES, I'M JUST--

YEAH?

--SO FULL OF FEAR, JOE.

ABOUT WHAT?

FOR MY KIDS.

HOW TO KEEP THEM SAFE, LOTS OF THINGS.

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

IT MUST SEEM ODD TO YOU, JOE. NO.

YOU CAN COME HERE WHENEVER YOU WANT.

( giggles )

Joe's voice: I DON'T SEE MR. GRAHAM, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE SHE'S COMING HERE TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK ON HER OWN, JUST TO SIT AND WATCH THE TV.

Woman on TV: ...they're going to hit the insurgents with an antique tank missile.

Joe's voice: I DON'T DISTURB HER, BUT I DO MAKE TEA FOR HER.

( bombs exploding on TV )

WHY IS THE HOUSE LIKE THIS?

AH, THERE YOU ARE. GOOD NIGHT, MR. GRAHAM.

GOOD NIGHT.

NOTHING YET-- NOTHING THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVEN'T FOUND.

AH.

NIGHT.

( purring )

( bell rings ) ( meows )

AH, HERE YOU ARE JOE. GOOD.

AND THIS IS PATRICIA.

I WAS HOPING TO SHOW PATRICIA THE HOUSE, IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT, JOE.

OH, IT'S LOVELY. YES, MAGNIFICENT, ISN'T IT?

IT'S LIKE A NICE OLD-FASHIONED HOTEL.

( Richard chuckling )

WHAT SORT OF HOTELS DO YOU STAY IN?

OH, YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS LITTLE, BY THE SEASIDE WITH MY PARENTS.

NO, IT'S GREAT.

( quietly ) AND, UH, I'LL JUST SHOW YOU THE UPSTAIRS NOW.

WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE A LOOK AT THE UPSTAIRS, JOE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GOOD LOOK. WE DON'T NEED ANYTHING.

Patricia: HE'S A FUNNY SORT OF SECURITY GUARD, ISN'T HE?

BUT I SUPPOSE THEY DON'T GET MANY VISITORS.

( Richard laughs ) ( keys jangling )

( keys clattering loudly )

MR. REECE! MR. REECE!

YES, JOE? YOU GOTTA LEAVE.

I JUST GOT A CALL. MR. GRAHAM'S COMING HERE RIGHT NOW.

SO? WHAT ABOUT IT, JOE?

SO YOU GOTTA LEAVE.

HE-- HE'S COMING UP HERE, I KNOW HE IS.

YOU GOTTA LEAVE. COME ON, I'LL TIDY UP! Richard: JOE--

EXCUSE ME.

RICHARD-- JOE.

JOE!

JUST GIVE US A MOMENT.

I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY.

ARE YOU DOING THAT?

YOU REMEMBER I ONCE SAID TO YOU YOU'RE A VERY CLEVER GUY?

DO YOU REMEMBER ME SAYING THAT?

WELL, ONE OF THE THINGS THAT MARKS ONE OUT AS BEING CLEVER IS THE ABILITY TO HOLD TWO DIFFERENT IDEAS IN ONE'S HEAD AT EXACTLY THE SAME TIME.

AND MAYBE THESE IDEAS SEEM TO CONTRADICT EACH OTHER.

I'M A VERY BUSY MAN, AS YOU KNOW, UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE. I'M NOT LIKE MR. GRAHAM WHO DOES NOTHING AT ALL, HAS TO TAKE NO DECISIONS, HAS NO RESPONSIBILITIES OF ANY KIND.

I HAVE TO WORK IMMENSELY HARD.

AND SOMETIMES I HAVE TO DO CERTAIN THINGS SO I CAN GO ON FUNCTIONING.

SO IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE CLOSE TO CHARLOTTE, REALLY CLOSE, AND FOR ME TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE.

I CAN BE HAPPILY MARRIED, WHICH I AM, BUT ALSO LOVE CHARLOTTE. YOU FOLLOW ME?

EQUALLY, I CAN BE VERY DEDICATED TO MY WORK, BUT ALSO NEED TO TAKE RISKS.

BECAUSE IF I DIDN'T DO THAT I'D CEASE TO BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

I UNDERSTAND.

TODAY WE WILL LEAVE.

BUT IN THE FUTURE, YOU'LL BE FINE ABOUT IT.

WON'T YOU?

Joe's voice: FRIDAY.

AS I WRITE THIS, SHE'S SITTING OPPOSITE ME.

I HAVEN'T TOLD HER ANYTHING OF COURSE.

JOE?

YEAH?

WHAT ARE YOU WRITING?

JUST KEEPING A RECORD OF WHAT HAPPENS IN THE HOUSE.

AND WHAT HAPPENS IN THE HOUSE...

APART FROM ME AND RICHARD?

MOSTLY, IT'S CLEANING.

AND THE BIT THAT ISN'T CLEANING?

I KNOW HE HAS OTHER PEOPLE, JOE.

YOU KNOW? YES.

I WOULDN'T SAY HE SHAGS ANYTHING THAT MOVES, NOT QUITE.

BUT HE HAS A LOT OF WOMEN.

HE PROBABLY HAS OTHER EMPTY HOUSE BELONGING TO BILLIONAIRES SCATTERED ABOUT THE PLACE, OTHER BOYS OPENING THE DOOR TO HIM.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT, JOE?

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.

ARE YOU GONNA WRITE THAT DOWN TOO?

"IT REALLY DIDN'T MATTER TO CHARLOTTE...

AT ALL."

DON'T THINK BADLY OF ME, JOE.

( bell rings ) THERE HE IS.

AREN'T YOU GONNA OPEN THE DOOR, JOE?

IT'S-- IT'S REALLY GREAT BEING ABLE TO WORK IN HERE, MR. GRAHAM, BUT, UH, YOUR... PACING, IT'S A BIT--

I'LL STOP, TINA. SORRY.

JUST A BIT WORRIED ABOUT WHAT YOU MIGHT FIND.

BUT THEN I WANT YOU TO FIND SOMETHING, I THINK.

MUST SEEM ODD, I KNOW...

ME SAYING I CAN'T DO ANYTHING...

UNTIL THIS IS SOLVED.

WELL, IF THERE'S ANYTHING TO SOLVE.

( distant car horns blaring )

( distant voices shouting )

FORGIVE ME, TINA, BUT I HAVE TO GO.

I'LL BE STRAIGHT BACK.

JOE! JOE!

JOE, WHERE ARE YOU?

JOE! WHERE ARE YOU, JOE?

JOE! JOE!

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? JOE!

JOE, THE GIRL UPSTAIRS, I THINK SHE'S IN PAIN.

YOU MUST HELP ME FIND HER.

DO YOU KNOW WHICH ROOM THEY WERE USING?

I THINK SHE'S REALLY ILL. SHE WAS ALL RIGHT WHEN SHE ARRIVED.

SHE'S ILL I TELL YOU! COME ON!

I SAW HER IN PAIN.

THIS IS THE BATHROOM I CAN SEE FROM MY HOUSE.

SHE WAS RIGHT THERE.

Charlotte: WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?

ARE YOU FEELING ALL RIGHT?

I SAW YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW.

YOU DID, DID YOU?

I KNEW YOU WERE SPYING ON US.

JESUS, I KNEW THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

I DON'T SPY ON YOU, I JUST HAPPENED TO SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW. YOU WERE UNWELL, SO I--

JUST HAPPENED TO SEE ME? YES.

IS THAT WHY YOU'RE SMILING? NO, I'M NOT SMILING.

I'M SORRY, BUT DON'T YOU THINK IT'S PATHETIC?

TRULY PATHETIC? Graham: WHAT?

LETTING PEOPLE USE THIS HOUSE SO YOU CAN STARE AT THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW?

YOU'RE JUST A FUCKING VOYEUR, AREN'T YOU, WATCHING EVERYTHING FROM ACROSS THE ROAD!?

I KNEW THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE DOING!

RICHARD SAID "NO NO NO, HE'S JUST AN ECCENTRIC GUY."

BUT I KNEW IT! I SAW YOU WATCHING FROM THE WINDOW, GAZING AT US ALL THE TIME!

I NEVER WATCH FROM ACROSS THE ROAD, NOT ON PURPOSE--

CHRIST, THAT'S SAD, ISN'T IT?

THAT'S REALLY REALLY SAD!

USING OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES LIKE THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EVEN GET OUT THE FRONT DOOR YOURSELF.

YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING!

YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THIS HOUSE!

( crying ) YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH YOUR LIFE.

JUST LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THE BOY.

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HIM--

GETTING HIM TO STARE TOO.

CHRIST. THAT'S SICK.

THAT'S SO SICK. THAT'S UNFORGIVABLE.

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

Joe's voice: I KNOW SHE GOT A SHOCK...

SEEING US IN THE PASSAGE LIKE THAT.

I KNOW SHE WAS ANGRY WITH HERSELF, PROBABLY, AS WELL.

BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE.

THE HOUSE SEEMS VERY QUIET.

AND MR. GRAHAM DON'T VISIT.

I SEE HIM THROUGH THE WINDOW... ( car starts )

ONCE OR TWICE.

HE'S WAITING ON THE RESULTS OF TINA'S WORK.

LIKE HE SAID TO ME IN THE CINEMA...

EVERYTHING WILL START TO GO FORWARD THEN.

TWO THINGS HAPPENED TODAY.

MRS. HOPKINS TOLD ME SHE'S LEAVING.

SHE EVEN GAVE ME HER KEYS.

IT'S TIME FOR ME TO MOVE ON, JOE.

AT LAST.

RIGHT.

SO YOU'RE MOVING ON.

I'M NOT SURE YOU SHOULD STAY TOO LONG IN THIS HOUSE, JOE.

Joe's voice: AND THEN I HEARD TINA'S FINISHED HER WORK.

WE'RE GONNA HEAR THE RESULTS ON THURSDAY.

I LIKE THE IDEA OF HEARING IT HERE IN THE KITCHEN, DON'T YOU, JOE? LESS FORMAL.

EASIER FOR EVERYONE TO HEAR WHATEVER IT IS.

SO I THINK I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING, MR. GRAHAM--

SOMETHING NEW, INFORMATION THAT WASN'T IN ANYBODY ELSE'S REPORTS.

AND I THINK THE BEST WAY-- BEFORE YOU START, TINA, CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME IDEA--

IT MAY NOT BE FAIR TO ASK, BUT--

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO 10...

HOW BAD IS IT?

I'M NOT SURE I CAN DO THAT, MR. GRAHAM.

I MEAN, PEOPLE MAY TAKE DIFFERENT ATTITUDES TO THIS, DEPENDING ON WHO THEY ARE.

HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE TO DO THIS.

I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.

( lighter clicks )

COME HERE AND TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

IT'S FROM THE 1930s, ISN'T IT?

WHEN HE WAS VERY YOUNG, VERY INEXPERIENCED.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT HOW HE GOT HIS START.

IS IT VERY BAD? IT'S NOT SOMETHING HE COULD'VE GONE TO JAIL FOR.

READY? IT WAS IN A BUNCH OF LETTERS AND LOOSE DIARY PAGES BUNDLED TOGETHER IN A FILE CALLED "COUNTRY WALKS."

I THINK THAT'S WHY NOBODY ELSE BOTHERED TO LOOK AT IT.

SO SHALL I TELL YOU WHAT HE SAYS? NO.

I MEAN... NOT THIS MINUTE.

I THINK YOU SHOULD HEAR THIS, MR. GRAHAM.

YES, I KNOW I SHOULD.

WELL, YOU WANT TO KNOW, DON'T YOU?

OF COURSE I WANT TO KNOW, I--

I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO IT HERE, NOT NOW.

I'VE CHANGED MY MIND.

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG ABOUT DOING IT IN THIS HOUSE.

I'M NOT PUTTING IT OFF.

I'M REALLY NOT PUTTING IT OFF.

BUT YOU COME WITH ME, TINA.

JOE, STAY HERE.

WE'VE GOTTA GO BACK TO MY HOUSE.

WE WILL DO IT, TINA.

Joe's voice: TIME TO BRIGHTEN MYSELF UP.

TWO WEEKS HAVE GONE SINCE I SAW HIM.

I THINK SHE MUST HAVE TOLD HIM.

I ONLY SEE HIM THROUGH THE WINDOW.

I KEEP WATCHING THOUGH, TO SEE IF I CAN CATCH HIM IN THE STREET.


YES, JOE? JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO, YOU KNOW, SEE HOW YOU ARE. I'M FINE.

I'M JUST OFF FOR A LITTLE TRIP TO THE COUNTRY.

WHAT, TO THE CASTLE? ARE YOU GOING TO THAT CASTLE YOU SHOWED ME A PICTURE OF?

AS IT HAPPENS, YES, I AM. WELL, CAN I COME?

NO, JOE.

PLEASE!

PLEASE, CAN I COME?

OI! PLEASE!

PLEASE!

( birds twittering )

( car doors closing )

THANK YOU, SIMON.

MY FATHER BOUGHT ME THIS CASTLE.

HE BOUGHT IT FOR YA?

YES. HELLO.

AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT WHEN I WAS NINE.

ONE OF THE FEW WAYS HE COMMUNICATED WITH ME WAS BY GIVING ME PRESENTS.

AND THIS TIME HE THOUGHT HE'D GIVE ME SOMETHING I REALLY REALLY WANTED.

IT WAS WONDERFUL, OF COURSE.

I MEAN, WHAT BOY IN THE WORLD HAD A GREATER PRESENT FROM THEIR FATHER?

AND WHAT COULD BE WRONG WITH SUCH A GIFT?

( car driving away )

AROUND HERE I HAD MY FARM--

COUPLE OF MILES OVER THERE, WHERE I WAS HAPPY.

DAIRY FARM.

LOVELY PLACE.

I GAVE THE CASTLE TO THE NATIONAL TRUST.

NOW EVERYONE CAN COME HERE.

THERE AREN'T MANY PEOPLE HERE TODAY, THOUGH, ARE THERE?

OOPS.

( chuckles )

NOT REALLY DRESSED FOR ALL THIS, AM I?

YOU GOING TO A MEETING HERE?

NO, JOE.

( animals squawking, chattering )

Graham: I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.

AH!

I THOUGHT THIS MIGHT STILL BE HERE.

I USED TO DO THIS AS A CHILD...

GO AROUND THE CASTLE WITH MY FATHER IN THIS.

JOE.

I THINK IT'S GONNA BE A LOVELY AFTERNOON.


YOU MIND DOING MOST OF THE DRIVING, JOE?

I'M NOT SURE WE'LL GO VERY QUICK.

I ONLY DONE THIS ONCE BEFORE.

VERY GOOD, JOE.

DID TINA TELL YOU WHAT SHE FOUND OUT ABOUT MY FATHER?

NO.

NO, SHE DIDN'T.

WAS IT SOMETHING BEFORE THE SECOND WORLD WAR LIKE YOU SAID?

IT WASN'T DIFFICULT TO GUESS IT MIGHT'VE BEEN COLLABORATION--

DOING BUSINESS WITH THE NAZIS.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THERE WAS A SMALL CHANCE HE MADE A LOT OF HIS EARLY MONEY DOING BUSINESS WITH THE GERMANS.

I HOPED AGAINST HOPE IT WASN'T GOING TO BE REALLY BAD.

I MEAN, THERE WERE LOTS OF PEOPLE DOING IT, MAKING MONEY OUT OF THE THIRD REICH.

ROCKEFELLER IN THE U.S., OF COURSE--

GETTING THEM OIL, GETTING THEM MONEY--

IN THIS COUNTRY TOO.

IT'S TERRIBLE, I KNOW. UNFORGIVABLE.

BUT THERE WERE A LOT OF PEOPLE DOING IT.

AND SOME OF THEIR OUTFITS ARE STILL GOING STRONG.

AND DOING VERY NICELY TOO, THANK YOU.

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY FATHER'S COUNTRY WALK--

( laughs )

IT WASN'T A COUNTRY WALK, AS IT HAPPENS.

IT WAS IN A PARK.

LITERALLY A WALK IN THE PARK...

IN BERLIN, THE LAST '30s.

THEY DROVE TO THE PARK.

THERE WAS A LITTLE PARTY OF THEM.

HE WAS WITH SOME BUDDIES, A COUPLE OF COLLEAGUES FROM THE BRITISH CONSULATE...

HIS AMERICAN BUSINESS COLLEAGUE AND A GERMAN CONTACT WHO THEY WERE DOING BUSINESS WITH.

( kids shouting, playing )

AND WHAT DID THEY SEE?

I CAN IMAGINE IT SO EASILY, JOE, FROM WHAT HE WROTE.

FIRST THEY SEE IT FROM THE CAR AS THEY'RE RIDING ALONG.

BUT IT'S DIFFICULT TO WORK OUT WHAT'S GOING ON.

AND THEN THEY SEE THE STORM TROOPERS OR POLICE.

HE DESCRIBES THEM AS YOUNG MEN IN UNIFORM.

AND THEY'RE STOPPING ANYONE WHO'S JEWISH.

AND THEY DIVIDE THE MEN FROM THE WOMEN.


SHALL WE TAKE A LOOK... Graham's voice: IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON IN THE PARK, THEY MAKE THE MEN UNDRESS.


( woman chattering in German )

AND MY FATHER SAYS SIMPLY...

"AND THE MEN WERE MADE TO MAKE QUITE AN EXHIBITION OF THEMSELVES."

AND OF THE WOMEN HE SAYS, "WELL, THEY HAD SOMETHING STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CIRCUS."

IT'S NOT HORROR, NO BODIES.

BUT IT'S ALMOST WORSE.

THEY MADE THE WOMEN CLIMB THE TREES.

THEY WERE TERRIFIED.

AND THEN THEY TOOK ALL THE LADDERS AWAY.

AND THEY WERE SHOUTING

"YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE A NOISE LIKE A LOT OF BIRDS.

YOU'RE GOING TO SING LIKE BIRDS.

YOU ARE GOING TO SAY 'CUCKOO, CUCKOO.'

YOU ARE GOING TO SING 'TWEET TWEET.' SING!"

Women: TWEET TWEET.

TWEET TWEET.

( shouting in German )

( women tweeting, crying ) ( Nazis shouting in German )

Graham's voice: THEY HAD TO CHIRP LIKE BIRDS OR THEY WERE BEATEN SENSELESS.

( women tweeting )

( crying ) CUCKOO.

TWEET!

( whimpering )

( crying, panting )

THE WORDS MY FATHER USES, WHAT HE SAID ABOUT WHAT HE AND HIS BUSINESS COLLEAGUES SAW IN THE PARK, WHAT HE WATCHED HAPPEN... TWEET TWEET.

...WITH TWO MEN FROM THE BRITISH CONSULATE AND THE AMERICAN, HE SAYS, "THEY CERTAINLY DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY HERE.

WE ALL AGREED."

( laughs ) I LOVE THAT--

"WE ALL AGREED, THEY CERTAINLY REALLY DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY HERE."

I THINK THAT'S THE MOST TERRIBLE SENTENCE I'VE EVER HEARD.

AND THESE, JOE, THESE WERE THE PEOPLE HE WAS DOING BUSINESS WITH... ( women tweeting )

...WHO HE WAS TO OWE HIS FORTUNE TO.

THAT'S WHAT TINA FOUND.

I'VE BEEN SO FULL OF RAGE, JOE, THESE LAST FEW WEEKS.

( crying ) SO FULL OF RAGE...

ABOUT WHAT MY FATHER DID.

( chuckles )

AND THE LITTLE ANIMALS-- THE ONES YOU TOOK ON THE TELLY.

THEY'D SAT FOR YEARS ON THE MANTELPIECE.

I WAS FASCINATED BY THEM AS A CHILD.

OF COURSE THEY HAD ORIGINALLY BELONGED TO A JEWISH FAMILY.

THEY WERE STOLEN FROM THEM AND GIVEN TO MY FATHER AS PRESENTS BY HIS NAZI BUSINESS COLLEAGUES.

YOU CAN PUT ME OFF HERE, JOE.

HERE?

YEAH. I'LL TAKE A WALK, HAVING A RELIVED ALL THAT.

JOE, YOU COULDN'T BE REALLY KIND AND TAKE THE CANOE BACK?

JUST KEEP GOING ROUND THE MOAT THAT WAY TILL YOU COME TO THE PLACE WHERE WE FOUND IT.

THANK YOU. IT'S REALLY MOST KIND.

YOU'LL MEET ME THERE? OH, YES.

I'LL MEET YOU THERE.


( gun clicks )

MR. GRAHAM!

HOLD UP!

OI! MR. GRAHAM!

HE'S GONNA HURT HIMSELF!

MR. GRAHAM!

SOMEBODY HELP ME!

HE'S GONNA HURT HIMSELF! MR. GRAHAM!

MR. GRAHAM!

MR. GRAHAM!

( Joe grunts )

MR. GRAHAM!

KEEP AWAY FROM ME, JOE.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU MUSTN'T DO THAT!

WHAT'S THE POINT OF DOING THAT?!

I SHOULD NEVER HAVE BROUGHT YOU HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

IT WAS UNFORGIVABLE OF ME TO INVOLVE YOU IN ALL THIS.

PLEASE, PLEASE GO AWAY. LEAVE ME.

YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE. BUT I AM, RIGHT?

YOU BROUGHT ME SO I COULD STOP YOU!

JOE! THAT IS NOT TRUE.

THAT IS NOT THE CASE!

NO! NO! ( ducks squawking )

( wings flapping )


QUITE RIGHT, JOE.

QUITE RIGHT.

WHAT WAS THE POINT IN DOING THAT? YEAH.

DIDN'T DRESS FOR LYING ON THE GRASS, DID I?

( laughs ) NO.

NOW YOU FOUND OUT EVERYTHING, IT'LL ALL BE DIFFERENT, REMEMBER?

WILL IT?

I'M NOT THAT SURE I CAN MAKE AMENDS.

YOU CAN MEET NEW PEOPLE, START GOING OUT AGAIN.

THAT I CAN.

YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT I SHALL DO.

AND NOT JUST TO THE DELI AND THE LOBSTER RESTAURANT.

( chuckles )

OF COURSE. YOU'RE RIGHT. YES, JOE.

WHAT YOUR FATHER DID...

IT WAS A DIFFICULT THING TO FIND OUT.

YOU NEEDED TO BE A BIT BRAVE, LIKE YOU SAID--

KEEP AT IT-- AND I THINK YOU WERE.

ME, BRAVE? I THINK SO, YEAH.

THANK YOU, JOE.

WHAT ABOUT THE HOUSE?

WHY DIDN'T I DO MORE ABOUT THE HOUSE ALL THESE YEARS?

IT WASN'T VERY STRONG-WILLED OF ME TO LEAVE IT EMPTY ALL THAT TIME, WAS IT?

LET RICHARD AND CHARLOTTE USE IT--

THAT WAS OKAY, LETTING THEM USE IT. WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT?

NOTHING, MAYBE.

IT DIDN'T MAKE THEM HAPPY THOUGH.


Joe's voice: I DID SEE RICHARD AGAIN, JUST ONCE.

( chuckles ) AND HE SUDDENLY YELLED AT ME.

JOE! JOE, OVER HERE! JOE!

HOW ARE YOU? YOU LOOK GREAT.

I'M FINE. HOW ARE YOU?

BUSY, OF COURSE.

WE'RE FANTASTICALLY BUSY, LOTS TO IMPLEMENT.

AND I'M SURVIVING TOO, AS ALWAYS.

NO, IT'S-- IT'S ALL GREAT.

I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN, JOE, SOONER THAN YOU THINK.

Joe's voice: HE ALWAYS HAS TO STAY MOVING, LIKE HE SAID.

I THINK HE'S SCARED OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE.

HE NEVER WANTS TO BE STILL FOR A SINGLE MOMENT.

NOT SURE WHERE IT GETS HIM THOUGH.

( birds twittering )

Joe's voice: I SAW HER TOO.

WE ARRANGED TO HAVE A WALK.

SHE TOLD ME ABOUT HER KIDS AND I TOLD HER ABOUT WHAT TINA FOUND.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING SAD ABOUT THAT HOUSE, JOE.

MAYBE IT WAS JUST ME, OF COURSE, WHAT I WAS FEELING.

AND I DIDN'T REALLY NOTICE ANYTHING, BUT...

MAYBE IT IS THAT PLACE.

YOU OUGHT TO GET OUT OF THERE, JOE. GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE.

I WILL. YEAH, SOON.

NO, NOT SOON, RIGHT NOW.

YOU'VE GOTTA GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE. YEAH.

YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME, JOE.

I CARE ABOUT YOU.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN AWFUL FOR MR. GRAHAM TO FIND OUT ABOUT HIS FATHER.

BUT IN A WAY, I ENVY HIM.

YOU ENVY HIM? YEAH.

NOT FOR HIS MONEY.

OF COURSE, I WOULDN'T SAY NO TO THAT...

A LITTLE CORNER OF THAT.

( sighs )

BUT NOW HE'S FOUND THINGS OUT, MAYBE THAT'S...

SOLVED HIS LONELINESS.

I CAN'T DO THAT, JOE.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

Joe's voice: THE HOUSE IS GONNA BE TOTALLY REDECORATED AND CHANGED.

IT'LL STILL HAVE A BIT OF A WEIRD ATMOSPHERE, I THINK...

WHATEVER COLOR THEY PAINT IT.

IT PROBABLY ALWAYS WILL HAVE.

MR. GRAHAM'S FULL OF SCHEMES AND PROJECTS NOW.

THINGS ARE GOING ON ALL OVER THE WORLD.

HE'S BEGUN TO SPEND HIS MONEY.

AND HE'S ALSO SEARCHED VERY HARD AND MANAGED TO FIND SOME RELATIVES OF THE FAMILY THAT OWNED THE LITTLE ANIMALS.

AND THEY'VE BEEN RETURNED TO 'EM, AND ARE NOW SITTING IN A SMALL APARTMENT IN NORTH CAROLINA.

AND I'VE TAKEN CHARLOTTE'S ADVICE.

I'M LEAVING THE HOUSE.

I NEED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YET.

I'M PROUD OF ONE THING THOUGH--

TINA AND I...

WE DID STOP HIM BEING STUCK.

( water trickling )


( orchestra playing )