Joey (1997) Script

This is the place where I was born.

Some people call it the country.

I call it paradise.

I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

Even though we're a long way from anywhere.

My friends are here.

I spend every morning with them before school.

They're special friends, the kind you'd do anything for.

Look.

See that little guy? That's Joey.

And those are his parents, Kim.

And wal.

They love Joey.

They're a real close family.

Rise and shine, Joey.

"Come here, you little monster."

"Dad,"

"why do you always have to do that?"

"Because I love you, Joey."

"Because I'm your father."


Old man Dixon.

They're round here somewhere.

I can see them, Dad! I can see 'em!

I can't see them. Where are they?

If you had a brain, it'd rust.

No. It hasn't helped.

What made them go like that, Dad?

Billy McGregor.

Where are you running to now, Mate?

Here we come!

McGregor!

You're mine this time, Kid. All mine.


I ever catch you on my land again, it'll be the end of you, Billy McGregor.

Morning, Mick.

Your mum will be mad when she finds out you were on Dixon's land again, Billy.

See you!


I'll be really angry if I find out you were on the Dixon's land again, Billy.

Then I guess it's better that you don't.

Hey.

'Bye, Mum.

'Bye.

You're a crazy one, Billy Boy.

Cool it, Mick.

Thanks, Billy.

Morning, Billy.


McGregor!

What are you standing there like that for, Boy?

Sit down.

You're late again, aren't you?

You can see me after school.

You're going down, you little weed.

Get out of it, Dooges.

What's going on?

There now, you're free. Remember, we can all be friends.

You're dead meat, McGregor.

Let me up and I'll kill you.

All right. That's enough.

Now, Billy McGregor, I want a word with you.

Go on, bust him!

He was on my old man's land again this morning, him and his pestering 'roos.

They're not pests. They've got just as much right to be on the land as anyone.

They were here first.

I said that's enough.

Billy, Mr. Dixon wants to press charges.

But they were gonna shoot the 'roos.

Billy...

I think I'd better have a word with your mother.

Billy's weird.

He's just not like other kids.

Now, he needs a father. That's why he's out of control.

Kids today...

I'm perfectly capable of looking after my son...

I happened to bump into Mr. Anderson today.

I know he's threatening to foreclose.

Well, you don't have to worry about that, David. I'll get the money.

$50,000 by October?

I will get the money.

Now, pen,

it doesn't have to be this way.

You and I, we could work together.

What are you talking about, David?

Like I said, the boy needs a father.

$50,000's not going to grow on trees.

Boy, Dad.

Where are you when we need you?


Mum?

Can't charge us for looking at the stars, can they?

No.

Not unless you gave them the number for your credit card.

Don't worry, Mum.

I'll get you that money somehow.

Mum. Mmm-hmm?

Do you think I'm weird?

Weird?

Everybody at school says I am.

Well, they are the experts, after all.

Who knows?

Maybe you are weird.

Oh, Darling, you're not weird.

You just got your father's passion in you, that's all.

And that's a really special thing.

You've got to treasure it, and hold on to it, 'cause it'll make you who you are.


Sure this was a good idea?

Shut up, Son, I know what I'm doing.

Thanks for, uh, coming out here so quickly.

Half now, half when the job's done, that was the arrangement.

Just get rid of those kangaroos.

They're close.

You sure are a hard man to track down.

On the run from the misses, are you?

My card.

"The All-New"

"Kangaroo Kingdom."

They'll be on the flats.

We'll find 'em. We'll tranquilize 'em, and they'll be fast asleep before they ever know what hit 'em.

Right-o, Mate. Give it a shot.

Hold it.

Now.


The mob!

Watch it, Dad!


That's where the lightning hit.

2 trucks.

Came from both directions.

Ambushed them.

What happened to them? We didn't hear any guns.

No, Mate. I'd say they were tranquilized, taken away.

How do you know that, Mick?

Old aboriginal secret, Mate.

What do they want them for?

"The All-New Kangaroo Kingdom."

"Sydney."

What is it?

I don't know.

Joey?

What do you think, Mick?

Your mum's not gonna like it, Mate.

We won't tell her.

We'll keep him in the tree house for a few days.

I don't know, Billy.

They've got Kim and Wal, Mick.

The little fella needs us.

They took the lot of them?

The whole mob?

Looks like it.

Kept 'em alive.

Took them to some kind of zoo in Sydney.

How's he taking it?

Pretty bad.

I'll go and see him.

He says he needs to be alone right now.

All right, I'll send him up some blankets.

Uh, I'll do it.


Here you are, Joey. Drink this.

You're going to be okay, Joey.

You're going to be okay.


I wonder if he's up to going to school?

I'll go and wake him.

Hi, Mum.

Bye, Mum.


Come on, Joey.

You've got to eat something.

Here.

Eat this. It's good.

I'll be back at 3:00.

Coolie, quiet!

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Coolie, I'm not going to tell you again.

Shut up!

Coolie!


Coolie, off the bed.

Coolie, I'm not gonna tell you again. Off the furniture.


In a moment, Ken's Cooking Class.

Well, today is vegetable soup day.

It's an inexpensive and healthy meal to serve, when the closest your family ever gets.

To fresh vegetables is pizza sauce.

Now, for this feast you'll need a...


Not the pie!


Thick, yummy, healthy vegetable soup.

Serves 3 as a meal, 6 as an entree.

Another edition of Ken's Cooking Show.

On a personal note, I'd like to add.

That all the above cooking.

Should be an enjoyable experience.

So relax, let cooking take away all your problems, and remember my motto, "Cooking Can Be Fun."

Billy!

Sorry, Billy.

I was out rounding up some strays, Mate.

It's okay, Mick.

I should have known a house is no place for a Joe.

He needs his family, doesn't he?

A Joey learns everything from his mum and dad.

He'll die if his parents aren't around to teach him how to live.

They're in Sydney, in that zoo place, Kangaroo Kingdom.

Maybe we have to take him there.

Sydney's a dark place, Billy.

Been there once.

One of them cities, you know?

Not like here.

Land everywhere here, as far as the eye can see.

Makes you think about the land, forget about the people.

In Sydney, there's people everywhere as far as the eye can see.

Makes you forget about the land.

I've gotta take him there, Mick.

Your mum won't let you.

But he needs his parents.

Sydney's miles away.

I know what it's like to not have a father.

I know, mate. I know.

Sydney.


Come on, Joey, just think of it as a temporary pouch until I get you back with your parents.

It's all right, Joey.


I give my word, Joey. I'll pay back everything I use.

This is just a loan.

Thank you for your very kind donation...

Excuse me, Sir.

Yes, sir.

What can I do for you?

When's the next train to Sydney?

Uh, midnight express. At 1:00.

At 1:00?

That's right.

Why doesn't it come through at midnight?

It comes at 1:00, Lad.

But if it's the midnight express...

Son, I've worked here for 32 years, and I still can't work it out.

You ask me why the midnight express doesn't come through at midnight.

I tell you, because we don't have a midnight express that comes through at midnight.

And any train station worth the tracks it's laid on needs a midnight express.

The closest express we've got coming through near midnight is at 1:00 so by process of elimination, that's the midnight express.

Now, do you want to buy a ticket or don't you?

How much?


Joey!


Ticket.


Boy.

Thanks.


Well, Joey, guess we're not in Harrisville anymore.


Come on.


We'll camp here until the morning, Joey.

Come first light, we'll go straight to Kangaroo Kingdom.

Get you back with your folks.

Then we can get back home.

It's okay, Joey.

Dad always used to say,

"Things seem much worse at night."

"No matter how dark it gets at night,"

"There's always going to be a sunrise."


Billy.

Come on, Sweetheart, time to get up.

Billy, up!

You all right, Young Man?

Joey?

Oh, no! Joey!

Hey! Who's Joey?

Joey, come here, Boy.

Wow!

Uh, Joey!

Here, let me help you.

Joey!

Yeah.

Let's patch this beauty up, hey, Caroline?

You promised.

I implied.

You welshed.

I'm not going to get into this with you now, Linda.

I'm just not, okay?

We'll go do this "Walking About" in Sydney some other time.

Walkabout, Dad.

It's called a walkabout.

Whatever.

You're not picking up on this culture at all, are you?

Would it be too much to ask for a little bit of cooperation from you?

It's just the 2 of us now, you know.

This is John O'Bannon.

And behind me, you can see the limousine escorting newly-appointed US ambassador, Mr. Ted Ross, for a welcome reception with the governor at his residence.

Escorting the ambassador is his 13-year-old daughter, Linda, who, many believe...

What are you doing, man? Davo.

This is supposed to be a real practice.

If we don't get this shot, we don't get the story.

And if we don't get the story, we don't hand anything in.

And if we don't hand anything in, we never make it to network.

Y-y-you just look so ridiculous...

Hey, this is how the big boys do it, ok?

That's your biggest problem, Davo. You never take anything seriously.

I mean, the big story could come at any time.

I don't know about you, Davo, but it's my goal to have my own show one day.

Just cut with the preschool antics and focus on getting the shot when the limo passes by.

Dup. Dup, Dup.

John-o.

I have spoken, Davo.

G'day.

I hate these stupid receptions.

All they ever do is slobber all over my hand.

And tell me how cute I am.

Let me say right away I've been looking forward to meeting each of you...

You're a very cute little girl.

Excuse me, I have to "Sling a leak in the dunny."

Very funny little girl.

Just drive in one more time.

I mean, it's out and it's in.

It'll take you 5 seconds. That's it.

Come on, sir. Let's go.

Have we got any money?

Bribery is a federal offence, Sir.

Excuse me.

I've got 50 cents.

G'day, Mate. Got a sec?

I'm a bit of a newbie in these parts.

I was wondering if you could give us some info on what you feed the 'roos around here?

'Roos?

As in kangaroos?

Mmm-hmm.

Here?

In the royal botanical gardens?

In the city?

I'd like to buy him some Tucker with this dosh.

How much Tucker?

Come on, let's go.

33 more stops before lunch.

Kangaroo! Kangaroo!

We'll see kangaroos.

At Taronga Zoo later on.

Kangaroo!

All right, all right!

Let's go!

Anybody seen a 'roo?

Kangaroo!

Here, kangy, kangy, kangy.

Where are you?

I've got some muffins for you.

Joey?

Come on, Boy.

Joey?

Here, kangy, kangy.

Where could they be?

Oh, my god.

Hey, you!

Don't touch him.

Back off, Cobber.

I'm the ambassador's daughter.

You touch me, it's an international incident.

Look, just give me back my Joey.

He's not yours.

He belongs to the wild.

I know, I found him.

You didn't find him. I found him.

I found him in the bush.

This is the city!

I know this is the city, but it's the bush part of the city.

Look, just give me my Joey.

Hiya!

Whenever you're ready.

Women.

What's wrong?

I'm not fighting you.

Afraid you'll lose?

Of course not.

Then why?

Because it's wrong to fight a girl.

Why?

I don't know why!

Right now, I wish I knew.

Joey, come here, Boy.

Come to Linda, Joey. Come on.

Don't go to her, Joey. She's just a girl.

That's right, Joey, I am a girl.

Which means I'll give you all the love and attention you'll ever want.

Come on, Joey.

Be a good boy.

Joey!

Good boy, Joey.

Catch you later, Mate.

Wait!

Joey, come back here!

Look, my name's Billy McGregor, and that's Joey.

His parents were rounded up off my neighbors' land a couple of nights ago.

They were taken to a park somewhere in Sydney, called Kangaroo Kingdom.

If we don't get him back to his parents, he'll probably get sick and die.

Looks fine to me.

You don't understand.

He needs his parents to survive.

It's in Sydney. I've got the address.

See?

Kangaroo Kingdom?

Right.

I bet there'd be a lot of kangaroos there, huh?

Charge it, please.

Thanks for the 'roos, Mate.

Thanks.

A few friends will make him a little less conspicuous.


Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

Where can I take you?

Here, please.

I'm sorry, this place doesn't exist.

It has to.

Hey. Hey.

I've been driving cabs for a long time.

Ever since, uh...

Well, I can't remember when I wasn't driving a cab.

But this place, this, uh, Kangaroo Kingdom doesn't exist.

Just take us to that address anyway.

Look, I told you once, I told you twice.

I'm not gonna tell you a 2nd time, it doesn't exist.

Do you take plastic?

Do I take plastic? Huh?

Do I take plastic?

Do I take plastic?

Charge it, please.

Missing?

Well, Mick's still out looking for him, but...

What?

The other night, he brought home a Joey from the Dixons' Land.

A Joey?

Yes.

Its parents...

As in a baby kangaroo?

Yes.

His parents had been rounded up...

What the hell was he doing on old man Dixon's Land again?

Would you listen to me, please, David.

His bicycle's gone.

I think he might have tried to get the Joey back to its parents.

Okay, I'll go find him.

Thank you.

I told you he needed a father.

Look, Billy is a capable kid.

What kind of trouble could he possibly get into?


The sight on this gun's out.

Fix it.

Hello?

See you tonight for the big fight.

It's a new place.

I'm on my way there now.

Well, what are you looking at, you nosey mongrel?

Hey? Hey?

There it is!

That's it.

Oh, this place!

Yeah, I know this place.

Spiros, you wait here.

Yeah, sure, okay.


Don't worry, Joey.

We'll find your mum and dad.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

You?

Yeah, sure.

After the ding-a-ling, leave your name, number, a brief message, and your favorite way to cook kangaroo steak.

Good to hear you're back in business.

Got some fresh meat.

8:00 tonight, leave a place ringside for me.

Joey, wait!

Stay here, keep a lookout.

Be careful.


Joey?

Joey.

Earl.

Dodge.

Mack.

Don't worry, I'm gonna get you all out of here.

Joey.

Wal. Kim.

What sort of people could have done this to you?


Billy, come on!

What are we gonna do now?

Who are you? Hey?

I'm Billy McGregor, and you're busted.

Quickly, this way. Come on.

Billy, come on. Billy!

Let go!

Help me!

Linda!

Oh!

Come on.

What? Hey?

They saw the 'roos?

Come on.

Go on.


Where'd you find it?

Ticket master found it in the bushes this morning.

Seems young Billy vandalized a collection box and bought a ticket on the midnight express to Sydney.

Oh, god!

Should have got there early hours of this morning.

I have to go to Sydney.

Now, Pen.

There's no way that old truck's gonna make it.

Can you hold on a second.

When's the next train to Sydney?

That'd be the midday train.

It leaves at 1:00.

Pen.

Don't you think it'd be a good lesson if you didn't go running after the boy every time he got himself into trouble?

I mean, if he was my boy...

He is not, all right?

Give it up, will you?

She was wearing a blue dress, and she had a ribbon in her hair, I think.

Should we Mark this as evidence?

Everything is evidence. Every one's a suspect.

Nobody is without a motive.

Who is it?

George Washington, the first president of the United States.

Should we dust it for prints?

Everything is dustable, everyone is printable, and nobody is without a record.

Learning yet?

Ambassador, this is a gentleman from A.S.I.O.

A.S.I.I.?

Australian secret intelligence organization.

Like your C.I.A.

Only more secret.

Nobody really knows what we do.

I'm sorry, I don't think I got your name.

He won't give us his name.

If I gave you my name, it wouldn't be secret.

Do we really need all this? We don't know if she's been kidnapped.

We won't know if your daughter's been kidnapped or not until you answer some questions.

What kind of questions?

You are ambassador Ross.

Are you not?

Of course.

Can you confirm that?

Do you realize how valuable that shot of the limo arriving would have been to us about now?

Our entire careers.

Now look at us, at the starting gate, aren't we?

We're just waiting for a golden opportunity to pass us by.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Excuse me.

What, um, kind of opportunity, John-O?

Well we're dead unless we get our hands on those kids.

She's back. They found her.

Linda!

Dad, dad, you have to call the prime minister.

They've got all these kangaroos...

Where have you been?

Dad, this is Joey and that's Billy McGregor.

He saw... I don't care.

Do you realize what I've been going through since you wandered off?

Dad, I'm sorry.

With all I've got to think about, you run off in a foreign city with a scruffy kid and an oversized rat!

He's not a rat. He's a Joey.

Thank you for the distinction, but I don't care.

God knows what kind of diseases it has.

It lost its parents.

I don't care what it's lost. You're grounded, missy. And you...

Just go.

After them!

Linda, get back here.

Now we have a kidnapping.

Roger, see any kids out there?

Oh, yeah. What sort of kids?

Come on.

Hang on, hang on. What's this?

Come on.

Follow that Van, Boys.

Great, just great. Again we've got nothing for the 5:00 news.

It's not our fault if nothing exciting happens.

I don't know, John-o. I feel like it's all my fault.

I missed getting that shot.

Hey, hey, hey.

Don't worry about it.

Our big break will come some day, Davo.

Obviously, we're just meant for something bigger.

Don't worry, ambassador.

We'll get her back from that little kid.

Did anyone get his name?

My daughter said what his name was.

You're all cops, did anyone catch his name?

Perfect.

No worries, Mr. Ambassador.

Got it all right here, on tape.

That was on?

Not this.

This.

You hid a tape recorder inside a tape recorder?

I know. Brilliant, isn't it?

Don't forget you're dealing with A.S.I.O. Now.

Could you have picked anything slower?

Who are you? And what is that?

This is Joey and that's Billy McGregor...

I don't care! Billy McGregor.

We've got him.

Okay, let's... hold it!

Dad, I'm sorry...

With all I've got to think about you run off in a foreign city.

With a scruffy kid and an oversized rat!

He's not a rat. He's a Joey.

Thank you for drawing the distinction, but I don't care.

God knows what kind of diseases it has.

He's lost its parents.

I don't care what it's lost, ok. You're grounded, Missy, and you...

Don't worry, we'll get her back.

Let me ask you something, senator.

How many times did I say to her

"I don't care"?

I think you'll find, Davo that life works in mysterious ways.

Somewhere out there, there's a story with our name on it.

If we're looking, we'll find it.

We're slowing down.

What was that?

I don't know.

Probably the gear box again.

Should that thing be hanging down like that, Davo?

What are you doing?

Come on!

We've just got to consider ourselves lucky, Davo.

And luck will surely shine upon us.

Light's green, Davo. Let's go right ahead.

Where are we going?

Trust me.

Stop, kid! Drop that Joey.

Excuse me, Sir.

I'm Linda Ross, an American citizen. My father, the ambassador would consider it an extreme courtesy if you could please Grant me, him and that Joey, diplomatic immunity at this time.

Sure, Kid.

Let us in.

The girl claimed diplomatic immunity.

Well, we claim it, too.

She's an American.

Are you American citizens?

No.

Well, uh, I'll get the paperwork.

Um, nice uniform.

What's that badge for?

Watch out for a couple of kids, Mate.

Oh, hi, Mum.

Are you well, Son?

Uh, busy.

That's nice, Dear.

Mum, what was your maiden name again?

Okay, crime-stoppers, we've got our work cut out for us.

So, let's do the job and get this little lady safely home.

Lets keep a tight lid on this one.

If we're smart, we can keep the media from ever finding out about this.

According to a police spokesman, a young boy and, strangely enough, his pet Joey, that's a baby kangaroo, kidnapped the 13-year-old daughter of the new American ambassador, Mr. Ted Ross, and sought refuge here, inside the consulate.

Sources now say that the police are currently conducting a round of very sensitive negotiations in an effort to convince the marines to let them in.

Constable Walker.

Yeah, he lives out of town with his mother.

Kidnapping?

That's understandable.

He's got an arrest record as long as a snake's back.

Trespassing, destruction of private property, illegal animal possession, assault, robbery.

There's no discipline without a father.

There's just one other thing.

The boy's mother and her farmhand took the midday train to Sydney.

My bet is, they taught him everything he knows.

They're probably in on this with him.

I'm glad to have been of assistance.

Yeah, the fight's off.

We're relocating again.

Once again, this Boy, Billy McGregor, is wanted by police for the kidnapping of 13-year-old Linda Ross, daughter of the American ambassador.

McGregor, traveling with an accomplice known only as 'Joey'.

Is said to be headed interstate.

Described by local police...

Actually, it just came back on again. Yeah, 8:00.

See you ringside, Champ.


Mrs. McGregor, it's about Billy, your kid.

What has your son done with my daughter?

What has your daughter done with my son?

Oh, please. My Linda would never hurt anyone.

Neither would Billy!

I saw him run off with my daughter!

Probably because you shouted at him!

I don't shout!

Would you excuse us for a moment, please?

Penny, is it?

Penny McGregor.

Please.

Ted Ross.

Penny, where do you think our kids have gone off to?

The fight starts in 2 hours.

God, I hate him.

Who?

My father.

I don't really remember my father.

He died when I was 5.

He was out in the fields with Mick.

He was struck by lightning.

Mick says, when the lightning struck,

it took his spirit up into the clouds.

I bet he's proud of you.

What about your mum?

She died about a year ago.

My mum's probably worried sick about me by now.

Your dad's probably the same.

Good.

You 2 seem so connected.

Animals are my passion.

Mum says your passion makes you who you are.

You're so lucky.

Lucky!

I'm in Sydney, I'm lost, no money, no way home.

I'm wanted by the police.

I've got a stranded Joey who still needs his parents, an illegal boxing match I've gotta stop, and no one who'll believe me.

Believe what?

Who are you?

I'm Sylvia Vanderberg.

We met here earlier this morning, remember?

What's your name?

Billy.

Billy. And, uh, where'd you get this young fella?

In the country.

His parents were taken to a place called Kangaroo Kingdom.

Kangaroo Kingdom was shut down.

It used to be a nature park.

But an animal activist shut it down 15 years ago.

They were boxing kangaroos for sport.

How do you know about it?

I'm the one who shut it down.

I've done it before and I'll do it again.

So you rescue animals for a living?

But, uh, occasionally, I switch to lost children.

Do you keep all your animals in there?

No. They're just the ones I picked up this weekend.

The rest are being looked after at my house.

That's a big house.

It is.

Greetings, Everyone.

I've got a Sulfur-Crested, I've got a Galah.

Here's an Oriental Blue. Careful, careful there's a busted leg there.

And Miggins, I've got a Joey.

A very hungry Joey. How about some milk?

Look, Joey, that's you.

There you go.

How's that? Better?

You'll be back with your mum soon, I promise.

I guess you're getting to like my backpack, huh?

Well, what do you think, Billy?

Stunning, I'd say.

Now listen, you 2. Are you in some kind of trouble?

What do you mean?

Well, I just called a police friend.

He seemed more interested in the pair of you than anything I had to say about the new Kangaroo Kingdom.

This is the agent running the McGregor Case.

Sylvia Vanderberg?

Deals with animals?

In a big house.

Where?

Good work, Officer.

By the way, uh, how did you get my number?

Yellow Pages?

My lady?

Telephone.

A reporter, something to do with a police matter.

We've got to split.

You might try taking your sunglasses off!

This is insane.

The fight starts at 8:00.

If the cops come, they'll arrest me.

By the time we've explained everything, it'll be all over.

Just stay on this road for a while.

I'm trying.

That's funny.

Where have they gone?

Oh, you know children, my lady.

Here one moment, gone the next.

That was odd, Miggins.

The reporter seemed to think the boy's involved in some sort of kidnapping!

So, how exactly are we planning on stopping this?

We'll stop them.

No cops, no Sylvia, and no media.

Look, everything that could have possibly gone wrong for us, has gone wrong.

Don't you think we're due for a bit of luck?

I don't know where they were going.

They said something about the New Kangaroo Kingdom.

That could be anywhere.

Of all the hopeless, low-down, miserable luck.

Hey, Davo, maybe there's a phone in here.

Hey. Have you got a phone in this thing?

Who are you?

This is John O'Bannon.

We're community TV news reporters. Our van broke down.

Reporters?

Yeah.

With TV Cameras and things?

Yes.

Why?

We apologize for interrupting.

Your regular broadcast, Folks.

This is John O'Bannon, live at the All-New Kangaroo Kingdom, Downtown Sydney, with a groundbreaking story.

Billy McGregor did not kidnap Linda Ross.

Everything he's done has simply been.

The noble quest to reunite a young Joey, who also happens to be.

Called "Joey", with his parents.

This idiot's going nationwide to air.

Can we get him off?

Yes, Mr...

Linda just get him off or we'll be driving taxis for the rest of our lives.

I can't over ride it, it's some sort of VHF feed.

Animal cruelty rackets...

Wait a minute.

Me, John O'Bannon...

He's good.

He is?

That television signal is a VHF feed.

We can track it.

Sorry, I can't let family go on from here.

What? Excuse me?

Well, I think you're all getting a little too close to this case.

You see, I once had a partner and, uh, well, he got a little too close to a case...

Miss vanderberg, we may need you.

You know how this guy thinks.

Fine.

They'll be all right.


John O'Bannon, first with the news!

Do you realize that you're guarding an illegal animal boxing event?

What do you have to say for yourself? Your mother's probably watching this.

Come back here, Porky!

This way, come on!

It's started.

Friends, Punters, Countrymen!

Lend me your ears.

Welcome to the New Kangaroo Kingdom!

This is what it's all about, eh, Boys?

Too right, Dad.

We gotta get a camera down there.

Don't look at me, I'm not going down there.

Davo!

Wait, I've got an idea.

There you go, Joey.

I built this camera to get in amongst to the 'roos without scaring them.

Wait a second. Do you think you could get a VHF feed to work off that thing?

It's an old camera, but it has a VHF port.

Tonight, 12 new kangaroos.

Will test their might.

Far away from the public eye.

And so, I have put together a star-studded event.

Of world class.

Few Punters have had the opportunity.

To witness a match between man and beast.

And you are the chosen few.

Fellow Punters, Gamblers, and dare I say, the Odd Sportsman,

you've not come here to watch.

A Ladies' Netball Match.

You've come for blood.

Let me reassure you, Punters...

Hold it!

Nobody even knows this place exists.

That's what you think, Mr. Bozo.

They might have shut down the old place, but still we prosper.

We prosper here, in this hidden underground world.

Beneath the city.

First fight of the night, this strong eastern gray.

That's Wal

it's Joey's dad!

Joey!

What's that?

Oh, rats.

Signal's strong. Right on target, Wines.

Roger.

My name's not Roger, Wines.

Place your bets.

Somebody has to do something.

Wow. Cool shot!

No more bets.

Gentlemen, meet our challenger.

In the far corner.

Weighing a hell of a lot, a man who needs no introduction, a man we all love and admire, our very own kanga boxer!


Since O'Bannon broke into our air waves, people have been over whelming us with donations.

So far, $8,185.

Have been raised.

By viewers for the.

"Help Billy help Joey get his parents back" appeal.

Stop. Look at you all.

Shouting and screaming, frightening us poor animals.

Caging us like we're lower than you, like we're different from you.

We aren't so different, you know.

We're animals, all of us.

Just because you're smarter than most, because you're bigger than most, you treat us like this.

Joey.

Come here, Boy.

My father used to say, "None of us are born mean,".

"We just get that way."

And I think he was right.

Kangaroos have lives and personalities and families, just like all of you.

So how can you stand there and do this?

Because there's money to be made!

Say goodbye to your mob, McGregor.

It's gone.

The signal's gone.

How?

I don't know.

Without the signal, we won't find them.

We lost it!

Davo, this is it.

We've gotta get down there.

Go, go.

Come on. Stay close. Stay close.

Linda!

Joey!

Hey, you!

Come here.

Come on, get out!

Let me go!

Stop!

That's him, all right.

Davo, this is the big one. Let's go.

This is John O'Bannon.

First with the news.

Any comments on kangaroo cruelty?

It's kangaroo cruelty.

If we could have a word with some of the public.

Did you realize you were involved in illegal...

He's down for the count! And out cold.

John-O, Davo, this way.

Come on, come on.

Let go, you monster!

Let go!

Let go.

You little...

Let go!

All right, Maggot, where are you?

John O'Bannon, first with the news.

The world awaits your pathetic confession, Kanga Boy.

I'm sorry, just leave me alone.

Freeze!

Sylvia!

I thought we fixed you the first time, Skippy.

Don't you call me that. You know I hate that name.

It's my duty to warn you that everything is usable in a court of law.

Everyone has the right to a lawyer, and nobody's getting away with this one.

I think you're getting the hang of this.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you big old dag!

Now, hop it.

The cuffs are a bit tight, Mate.

Come on, Joey, let's go see your mum and dad.

Yes!

Mum... knock it off, will you?

I thought I'd lost you.

You'll never lose me, Mum.

It's just who I am.

You were mean.

I was wrong.

You yelled at me.

I am so, so sorry.

Yeah.

You will be when you get the credit card bill.

I reckon your old man would be proud of you, Mate.

Yeah, Mick.

I reckon he is.

Billy McGregor?

I thought they said Willy McGregor.

Yes, Sir. No, Billy McGregor is a great kid.

No, no, no. I don't believe I said that, Sir.

Yes, it is a very clear recording.

Transfer?

Yes, Sir. I'd like that very much.

I didn't know we had a station in Antarctica.

Welcome to the John O' Show, I'm John O'Bannon.

Tonight, as part 17 of the Kangaroo Kingdom Saga, we have with us a woman who was almost as instrumental as me in the exposure of this amazing turn of events.

Miss Sylvia Vanderberg. Sylvia, welcome.

John.

Sylvia, it's been 3 weeks now since I...

We broke this story.

Tell us, what's happened since, on your side of things?

Well, one thing.

The "Help Billy Help Joey" callers.

Have raised $50,000 for him.

$50,000!

Davo!

What does he plan to do with all that money?

He gave $49,962.37 to his mother to pay off the mortgage.

And the remaining $37.63?

He said he needed that to tie up some.

Personal loose ends.

Why, thank you, Billy.

So, where exactly is the mob now?

They're in a very safe place, the McGregor farm.

They'll never be harmed again.

I'll get that.

Thanks.

Joey!

How's it feel to be back home, eh?

See you, Joey.

This is good. Honey?

Now look what you've done.

What?

You've gone and made a friend for life.

That's better.

No zippers, no stitching, no polyester.

Just soft, fuzzy fur.