Just Add Water (2008) Script

Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that?

Don't forget to take a mint.

Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that?

Don't forget to take a mint.

Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that?

Don't forget to take a mint.

Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that?

Don't forget to take a mint.

Thanks for coming. Would you like a receipt with that?

Don't forget to...

Somebody, I can't remember who it was, once said that every man's life ends the same way.

It's only the details of how he lived and died that distinguishes him from the next guy.

...super waterbed blowout. No mattress is...

For most people nowadays, the American dream doesn't really exist.

For my friend, Ray Tuckby, it was no different.

Trona, California, had to be about the weirdest place I ever saw... like being on the moon yet less than three hours from L.A., and it could get hot as hell... in the summer, up to 130.

At one time, Trona was a town full of promise.

That promise had long been forgotten... along with the movie theater, the Ford dealership, and the swimming hole.

But it was still where Ray called home.

Now, home for most people was a place of refuge.

For Ray, it was anything but that.

In fact, it was just the opposite.

Sixty for a sack. You got three.

All right.

What's it gonna cost?

Hold on a second there, Ray.

All right.

Afternoon there, Dirk.

You're late on the rent, Ray.


Damn, Dirk. Sorry about that.

I'll fly a check on over to you as soon as I get cleaned up.

Don't make a habit out of it.

You know I got a short temper.

It was pretty much the same routine day in and day out for Ray... punch in at 9:00, out at 5:00.

By 5:30, he'd arrive at his house on Cyril Street... and every day, the welcome wagon was there to greet him.

You! Ray!

Oh, howdy, Selma.

You might want to think about cleanin' up your yard.

Goddamn turtle turned this place into a shithole.

Sure thing, Selma. I'll get on it over the weekend.

You think you're such a big shot, Mr. Something Special?

Doubt it.

Ignore that old hag.

Want a swig?

Nah. Thanks, Den.

Ray, how's Stevie there doin'?

He's good.

Yo, Steve-o!

Me and you, buddy.

Take care now.

Always do, Ray.

Always do.

Hi, Charlene.

Hello, Ray.

How was your day?

Just fine.

Any thoughts on dinner?

I didn't know what you'd want.

Oh well, then.

How 'bout I head on over to the Rite-Valu and get us some?

What an inspired notion.

Any ideas?


Pizza's fine, Ray.

Want to come with?

Might be nice for you to get out once in a while.

Let's just say that Ray's wife Charlene had some issues, which meant he handled most of the domestic duties, like the daily trips to the local market.

The Rite-Valu didn't have much, but it did have one thing...

Nora McCalley.

Hey, Nora.

Oh, hey, Ray.

That delivery of frozen pizzas come in yet?

Supposed to have gotten them today, but Cliff's engine blew up on his way back from town.

Guess I'll go for the Dinty Moore, then.

That's heat-and-serve, ain't it?

Sure is. Over on aisle five.


You notice that Chevron station around the bend's nearly done?

It's a pretty sight.

About the prettiest thing in this whole county.

They puttin' in a mini-mart? Yep.

If that doesn't do in this place, I don't know what will.


I'm sure they're not gonna have fresh fruit and things.

Or, for that matter, you.

Oh, that'll be $4.10.


Keep the change.

Now, Ray, you gotta stop doing that.

It's my pleasure, Nora.

If you're not the most generous man I've ever met!

Well, guess I'll be seeing you... tomorrow.

I'll be here.

How many cars did you process today, dear?


Quite a lot, isn't it?

Heavier than normal.

And how was your day?

I found a half-off coupon on Bounty paper towels with no expiration date.

Isn't that something?

I guess it is, yeah.

What about you, son?

I busted some windows on a couple of houses down the street.

I want to burn down that shitbox up the street that that dead guy croaked in.

Now, son, we talked about this.

You got to work on your anger.

I wouldn't have any if you took me to Betsy's.

We'll see, son.

All you say is "Soon, son."

Do I look like I'm getting any younger?

I'll get it.


No, this is his son Edward.


Who was that, dear?

Aunt Penny.

What did she want?

Grandma's in the hospital, in a "comma" or something.

I wasn't really listening.

This looks like a fun one, Ma. Pigs in a Twinkie.

"Thinly slice one end off each Twinkie.

"Stuff a cooked sausage into each Twinkie.

"Place the Twinkies in a shallow baking dish

"and bake for 10 minutes or until the Twinkies are warm.

Serve warm with syrup."


Hey, Ray.

Oh, hey, Eddie.

I came as soon as I heard. What happened, anyhow?

Well, I think she was trimming a hangnail over the toilet, passed out, hit her head on the porcelain.

I been here all day trying to get her conscious enough to give me that meringue recipe.

Hey, Ma. How you feeling?

You comfortable?


Oh, here we go.


Hey, Uncle Mark.


The fruits from my loins.


Your meringue recipe... three parts lemon, two parts sugar?


Oh, Mama...


He's been like this all day.

Hey, Mark.

How's business going?

Pretty darn good.

Introduced a new flavor this week from Poland, Champagne Silk.

It goes down real easy.

Sounds great.

Sauerkraut is, without question, the superfood of the future.


Hi, everyone.

Hey, Joanne. Joanne.

Mark, can I have a private word with you, please?

Joanne, get back in the car.

Your kids need you.

You are coming home this instant!

Would you shut them up, please?

Tommy, no!

Those kids have got germs! Get them out of this room!

As we all know, family gatherings can be quite taxing at times, but everything in Trona was taxing... that was nothin'new.

Dirk and his posse, for some time, had a hold on most things in town... but lately, it seemed that hold was getting closer and closer to home for Ray.

Afternoon, Spoonie.

Toll road.

How's that?

Five bucks to pass.

You're joshin', right?

Do I look like I'm joshin' you, retard?

Five bones or I beat the crap out of your kid every day next week.

Don't hurt my boy, you hear?

He never did anything to you.

Good call, Ray-gay.

I might kick his ass anyhow just for fun.

Dirk! Hey, Dirk!

Why you keep hounding me, woman?

I'm working on my bike. Can't you see that?

All you guys shut your mouths and go in the house before...

Kid's a modern-day Charles Manson.

You ever notice how Dirk gets all them chicks?

He ain't as good-looking as me, is he?

He's got the devil in him, Ed.

Who cares when you're that successful?

Who wants dessert?

Dessert? What a nice twist.

Oh, I don't think we have anything.

I was just interested to see who might be... interested.

I'll have a look anyway.

Hey, Dad, could we go get my rocks off tonight?

Son, I don't like that kind of talk. You know better than that.

You keep saying you're going to take me and never deliver.

You're just a bullshit artist.

Who's an artist?

Guess what I found in the freezer?

What do you say to your mother, son?

Gee, thanks, Ma. This looks delicious.

Now, Betsy's wasn't exactly where Ray had hoped Eddie would lose his virtue, but Ray still owed his son a graduation present and decided it was probably as good a gift as any.

Evening, ladies.

What can we do for you, sugar?

This here's my son Ed.

Need to get his cherry popped. I don't want that on my head.

But he's a good, clean kid, honest.

$50 for the full treatment, and I'll be real gentle.

Can't I have 'em both?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves, son.

Can you do $35? That's all I got.

Yeah, okay.

Meet me around the corner at the Aloha, room 107.

Give me a ten-minute head start.

You sure this is how you want to lose it, honey?

Don't worry about me, blood.

Just lay back and enjoy the ride.

Shit, I might have to watch this.

Appreciate it, ma'am.

Any time you wanna come back...

Well, this is a big day for you, son.

I guess.

Remember what I told you. Always be a gentleman.

Never go poking around without asking if it's okay first.

They're human beings too, these whores.

Brush your teeth today?

I don't remember.


Couple nights ago.

Well... that'll do ya.

Sounds to me like you're ready for the big plunge.

It's about time.

Most of the guys in school got laid by third grade.

Ed, we all march to the sound of our own drummer.

Don't ever forget that.

Okay, then.

Here's the cash and some rubbers your Uncle Mark brought me back from the Grenada conflict in '83.

You sure they're still good?

U.S. Government issue.

I think they got Kevlar in 'em.

Okay, I gotta run by the hospital, check on your grandma.

I'll see you in an hour, okay?


Good luck, son.

You want some music?

You okay, honey?

I don't want to do this.

You mean have sex?

I kept buggin' my dad so he'd think I was normal.

It's not that I don't have any sex drive or nothin'.

It's just...

You want the first time to be with someone you care about.

I wish I'd waited.

Where are you from?

Born in Mobile, came out here a few months ago with my mama.

She's what you call a medium.

What's that?

Well, you know, like, a psychic.

Someone who predicts things.

Anyhow, me and her had a falling out, as they say, so I hit the trail, and now I live in this here motel.

Did she predict that?

I don't know.

You want to go out sometime?


Get a meal, or some... something...


Let me give you my card.

If you give me 24-hour notice, I can arrange for a night off.

How do you say your name?



Dr. Habibi, please report to room 243.

Dr. Habibi.

Dr. Richards, please report to the O.R.

Dr. Richards.

Afternoon, Spoonie.

Let's go. Cough it up, Ray-gay.

You owes me from last time, don't forget.

That I do.

Here you be.

See that?

See how easy things is when you understand who's boss?

Oh, yeah.

You dumb... son of a bitch.

Well, lookie who's home early.

Yo, Ray!

Double guards to the finish line. Come to the yard. Come to the yard.

I got fancy wine coolers, man. Hey, guys.

Hey, Ed, what's up?

That Uncle Mark's car outside?

Where's your mother?

Son, I asked you a question.

Touch my balls. You send me!

You send me.

Touch my balls. You send me.

Yeah! Touch my goddamned balls!



Dear... you're home early.

How was your day?

Hey, Ray.

Charlene, can I have a word with you?

Mind givin' your mom and me a moment?

Mark's been pretty tore up about your mom.

He just needed a little compassion is all.

You never were very understanding, were you, Ray?

This been goin' on a while?



'bout nine months before Eddie was born.

The boy know?

I would imagine.

Why'd you force me to be with you if I wasn't his father?

Damn, Charlene, I wasn't even 18.

All them pretty girls wanted you.

You need to leave, Charlene.

That you, Ray?

What are you doin' out here all by yourself?

Not much.

You want me to open back up so you can get a soda?

Got my paycheck today. It'll be my treat.

No. Thanks, though.

You okay?

This oughta make you feel better... I got your favorite dessert in today.

Banana instant pudding.

I hid half a case for you in personal sundries, aisle two, behind the deodorant.

Should be quite awhile before anybody finds it.

Catch my meaning?

That's awful sweet of you.

Oh, Ray, what is it? Tell me.

Just some trouble at home, me and Charlene stuff.

That's horrible.

I just want to sit here for a while, if you don't mind.


I better skedaddle, anyway.

Don't wanna miss "The Big Spin" on TV.

I came within two numbers last time.

Well... 'night, Ray.


Yo, Ray.

Dirk shut off the power again.

Did you pay the rent, Den?

My welfares check's late.

You gotta pay the man, Den.

It affects the whole block if even one household ain't current.

You know how he is that way.

That punk... he deserves to have his face rearranged, stealin' our electricity.

It's hotter than hell in there!

Okay, good to go.

You can do it, Char.

"One small step for man" type deal.

No, I can't.

It's... for... the... best!

Yeah. See how easy that was?

You look so pretty.

You look so pretty in the sunshine.

We did it. You sure did.

You did it all by yourself.

We did it. Oh, my God.

Funny thing about change... it's kinda like pullin' off a bandage.

Hurts like hell when you do it, but you always feel better after.

Yo, Ray.

Was that Eddie I seen... headin' off in your brother's car awhile back?

That'd be him.

Who was that woman with him?



Lord, I can't remember the last time I seen her.

She don't get out much.

Not a lot, no.

You all right, Ray?

You know if you ever need someone to talk to, you got a friend right here.

Just like that night in '89.

Who made that key block, time runnin' out, you sprintin' upfield?

You did, Den.

A thing of beauty that was.

Me and you, Ray.

We won that game together, we did.

Pay your rent, Den.

Yeah. I know.

That's good, now stabilize it so I can see it better.

Okay. Yeah, now... now... now just kinda...

I've never met a guy who picked up trash from the roadside who wasn't in a work program.

Excuse me. This your place?

Yeah, I guess it is.

Just wondering if it'd be okay to dump this trash in your bins.

Oh, yeah, no problem.

But that's what I found endearing about Ray.

At least he was tryin'.

You got it, boss.

I don't know.

Everybody in town keeps talkin' about this place.

Yeah? You live around here?

Yep, just around the bend.

Is there any traffic at all?

Hardly ever. None, huh?

Except during holidays, sometimes folks head out to Death Valley.

You own Chevron?

Own it? No.

I'm just an independent operator.

I'm from Bakersfield. My name's Merl Stryker.

Ray Tuckby. It's a pleasure, Merl.

Welcome to Trona.

Thank you. Yes, it's quite a place here.

I've never seen anything quite like it.

It's just... pretty sorry-ass.

I hope you don't mind, I mean... nothing grows here.

Well, soil's too poisoned.

Plus, it hasn't rained here in about forever.

Used to be beautiful, though, as I remember.

Mid-'80s, state diverted our water from Owens River to L.A.

The lake dried up, the chemical companies moved in, place went to hell.

That's a sad story.

Who's that little fucker that charges me to get into town?

That'd be Dirk or one of his boys.

They sort of run things around here.


They're responsible for most of the revenue.

He got his own meth lab.

What about the cops?

Ain't none here.

When the state declared this area a toxic waste site a few years back, anybody respectable cleared out.

Then they offered these places at a cut rate.

Dirk near bought up the town.

Story's gettin' sadder and sadder.

Hey, Ray, is there a place around here to get a cup of joe?

I'm hittin' my morning crash.

Market in town has a coffee pot, one of them bottomless jobs, and 'bout the prettiest gal you'll ever set eyes on.

Oh, yeah? I think that's where we should go.

Mornin', Ray. Hey, Nora.

This here's Merl Stryker, owner of that Chevron station.

Nora McCalley. Well, it is an honor, Mr. Stryker.

How do you do, ma'am.

That's quite a place you're building out there.

Ray was not telling a lie when he said you are a fox.

Well, maybe in contrast to the surroundings.

What can I get for you two?

Couple cups of coffee if it's fresh.

Just made a batch.

This place looks like a cyclone hit it.

There's not much in the way of supplies.

We get by basically.

Here you go.

The Cremora's just behind you on the counter, sir.

Thank you, honeybunch.

Do something with your hair?


Got any dreams, Ray?



Dreams. A man's got to strive for something big in life.

Otherwise, he doesn't mean a rat's ass to himself or society.

To be honest, I basically just go from one day to the next trying to feel good about myself.

I'm 58 years old. I still got big dreams.

Mean to tell me you didn't have big ones even when you were a kid?


What about what you were telling me about before, how you thought it'd be great if this area all came back.

That's a big dream of sorts, isn't it?

I guess.

Maybe have that lake full of trout and bass... nice outdoor eatery on that pier down yonder...

a place where people could get a cold drink, admire the beauty again.

Now you're talking. It sounds pretty good to me.

Well, Merl, I gotta get on to work.

Nice to make your acquaintance.

Pleasure was mine.

Thank you for the coffee.

Keep the wheels turning.

There you go.

If you eat a little more food, you can be sleeping in your own bed.

Won't that be nice?

Yeah, that's it.

It's good, huh?

Vanilla custard, yes indeed.

Yes, that's my good girl.

I want you out of my house.

What, Ma?

Get that crap away from me, you kiss-ass.

All you want is that meringue recipe, and it'll never happen.

You couldn't cook your way out of a Ziploc.

No wonder you could never hold on to a man.

You're going to end up a lesbian if you're not one already.

Evening, miss.


I hate your guts.

I don't care.

I have never asked you for one thing, God damn...

Then don't.

You are gonna cough up that fucking recipe.

Dream on, you old maid.

Don't push me.

Don't push me.

Ma, I brought your favorite.



For today we are mourning the loss of two remarkable individuals...

Penny Varrow, a willful woman of character who led an independent life, most recently running a crisis center for abandoned spouses... and Ruth Tuckby, devoted mother, wife, and local knitting legend, who strove to make the lives of those around her richer.

They were both good women who celebrated their differences throughout a rocky relationship.

Well, ultimately celebrated them a little too much, I reckon.

Mark. Mark!


Shut up.

Mark. Ray.

Hey, Clem.

I'm... I'm sorry for your loss.

I know this is not the best time to talk business, but...

That's okay.

The bulk of the estate goes to you and your brother.

The house, as you may know, was pretty heavily leveraged awhile back, plus she didn't have much in the way of medical coverage.


Son, this here's your share.

Thanks for all your help, Clem.


Oh, I forgot to give you this.

Your mama wanted you to have it.

Well, if there's anything else you need, I'll be in Ridgecrest, bored to tears.

Eddie? You got a minute?

Not today, Ray. I'm busy.

I need to speak to you, son.

R'ch'lle, excuse us.

Here you go.

What is it?

I got something for you.

Like what?

You should have this.

Your grandma would've wanted it that way.

Go on, take it.

Eleven hundred bucks?

For college.


What the hell's the matter with you, Ray?

I got better things to do with this money and my time than get some stupid education.

Me and R'ch'lle is moving in together.

I just wanted to say that... even though we both know you're not my own flesh and blood...

I still love you, son.

Hey, let's get a move on. I'm gonna be late for work.

Dirk offered me a gig.

I'm finally gonna make some real coin.

That's a dead end, Ed.

Not to me, it ain't.

Ed, this train is leaving the station.


I'll see you around.

If you need anything, son, you let me know.

Yeah. All right.

Dirk's boys held up the delivery truck again.

All we got left is Shake 'n Bake, aisle five.

But... we're out of chicken.

These'll do me.

I was going to eat light tonight anyhow.

Pork rinds and a large bag of ranch-flavored sunflower seeds.

Anything to drink with that?

Nah. Plenty of water in the tap, I always say.

I bet you could use a home-cooked meal one of these days.

Yeah, well...

Sorry about you and Charlene... and your mom... and Penny.

Trying to look at it as a new beginning.

May take me awhile to get there.

Anyway, thanks for coming to the funeral.

Saw you sitting in back.

Oh, my pleasure, Ray.

So, what are you doing later?

Later, like... tonight later?

Yeah, for a start.

Well, I'll probably just go home and sort through all the death papers and stuff, I guess.


I'd really like to go into Ridgecrest and see a movie.

It's been awhile. Yeah?

Maybe get a bite after at that new Arby's folks are talking about?

Oh, yeah. I drove by it a couple times.

Might be worth checking out.

Well... see you soon, Nora.

Hope so, Ray.


You wanna go on a date... with me?

Been waiting 18 years for you to ask.

Where'd you get all this fresh food?

Got up bright and early this morning, drove special out to Ridgecrest.

Cook it yourself?

That's about the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.

I mean, that is, if you did do it for me.

I did.

Ray, how come you never got out of here when you had the chance?

Me? I don't know.

I know you got that offer a few years back, going to L.A., work for that friend of your dad's.

Didn't suit me, I guess.

This is my home.

I used to love it here.

Summers felt endless.

Swimming, fishing, just being able to breath all that cool, fresh air.

I hold on to those memories, a lot of other ones, too.

Like that one in second grade when Mrs. Kinney took us on that field trip to this very spot and I got a baked bean stuck in my nose?

You remember that?

I wouldn't stop crying.

You came right over, just like a little prince.

You picked me up and you carried me all the way back to the bus.

I thought it was so romantic... except maybe that part about you insisting on trying to fish the thing out with one of your dad's pipe cleaners.

Doctor said you nearly gave me a lobotomy.

Yeah, I managed to block that out, actually.

Oh, you did?

I thought it was sweet.

How concerned you were about me, how much you cared.

Yeah, well...

What about you?

Didn't you ever think about leaving?

From time to time.

How come you never did, then?

That cheerleading scholarship to UOP sure was a big deal for you to turn down.

A girl has her reasons.

I had a wonderful afternoon, Ray.

Me, too, Nora.

Now, I want you to keep those leftovers.

I made extra for you to take to work all week.

You sure?

You can't eat packaged food the rest of your life.

That stuff'll kill you.

Getting a real home-cooked meal like that sure was something else.

Listen, I know how you must be feeling about Eddie and all.

You always had the most beautiful heart, Ray.

Well, I've got to get back to my shift, so I'll talk on you?


Where's my mom and dad?


Dirk here?

Saw him around awhile ago.



Oh, I forgot. He's up at the plant up the street, but you ain't supposed to go up there.

Adjust that... adjust that choke.

Hand me that wrench.

Boy, all these leaky drums sure look like an accident waiting to happen.

What are you doing here? You ain't allowed.

Well, I wanna talk to you about my son.

I'd like it if you didn't drag him into your line of work.

He ain't even yours, old man.

I'm just saying you don't need him working for you, all the guys you got.

Do me this favor, Dirk.

Favor? Yeah, this one time.

I ought to kick your ass right now.

I don't want trouble, Dirk.

I'm just saying it'd be a nice thing for you to do, letting him have a proper shot at a future.

He's a real good kid.

I know. That's why he's gonna be working for me.

No, but see...

Only thing I see is a pathetic jerk who's trespassing.

You tell your neighbors to pay their rent.

Get the fuck off my property.


You pay the rent yet, Den?

Oh, not real... really.

We've been through this.

You're letting everybody down when you don't.

Ray, I know that.

Denny, you better do something about the heat, goddamn it.

I'm bustin' a gasket in here.

I don't want him getting into drugs.

I don't care if I'm not...

Then you tell his real father to take responsibility for once and give the boy some guidance.


Here's your rent. It's too hot to stand on ceremony.

So you walk that over to Dirk's and you tell him to turn the power back on, okay?

Roger that, Ray.

I'll make good. I swear.

Soon, Den. I can't swing two rents.

Get Selma to quit smoking the ice and pay your bills.

We clear?

Oh, we're clear as day.

Well, I'm gonna have to put a shirt on.

Then I'll get on it.

Twirling action, like this here.

That's right. You like that?

See? Yeah? Help yourself. Take everything.

Next time bring your cars.

You got 'em all?

I got as many Huggies as I can carry.

I'm gonna sell this shit on eBay.

The free washer fluid sure was a nice touch.

Look, Nora, you just swipe your credit card and go.

Kind of feels like we're in the big city.

Hey, you guys.

Hey, Stryker. Hi, Nora.

This place is just gorgeous.

Thank you. I'm very, very proud of it.

All I ask is every once in a while you come on in and fill up a tank.

Sure. Yeah, okay.

And Ray, how's all that dreaming going, buddy?

A little at a time.

A little at a time, that's all we can ask for.

Have fun. That man is something else.

You might like to know Eddie's been doing a real good job for me.

You oughta be proud.

So, are you all of a sudden the big sugar daddy for anybody who needs their rent paid?

It's getting awful hot, Dirk.

Some folks are having a hard time making ends meet.

Maybe you ought to mind your own business.

It is my business.

Shut off the power, it hurts all of us.

Acting like a tough guy in front of your new girlfriend here.

Since you're such a rich man, maybe I oughta raise your rent.

Maybe I should buy a genny so I don't need your power.

You ain't allowed to do that.

Is that a fact?

I'm gonna lay this out for you once and for all, old man.

The way things work around here is everybody does what I tell them to, and that goes for you double.

Now, you don't like it, and you're gonna get your ass kicked.

Hey, it's mine!

Better hear what I say, Ray.

Hey, knock it off, all of you, before I lock you in the dog run again.

Give me that!

Sorry, Dirk.

Fighting over a bottle of antifreeze? What the fuck is that?

It smells great.

Hope I didn't overcook it.


The moment of truth.

Can I make a toast?


To the only dinner party this house has ever known, and to you, Nora, for being a part of it.

That was beautiful, Ray.

Thank you.

You sit in the chair there, and I'll sit on the floor.

Sorry all the proper furniture's gone.

Yeah, it'd be nice if there was a place we could be comfortable.


Whoa, nearly 8:45.

Both got to work tomorrow and everything.

Actually, tomorrow's my day off.

Is that a fact?

Seem warm in here?

I think it's fine, Ray.

It's fine.

What's that light?

There, out front.

Oh, Ray.

Things are gonna have to change around here, Nora.

And he wasn't kidding.

Everyone was gettin' fed up with the whole deal in this town, including me.

Where am I dropping you, Ray?

Got to get in to work.

Insurance guy said he'd drop the check by end of the day.

What kind of car you think 600 bucks buys these days?

More than my Gremlin.

Elmo, pull over a sec.

Merl? Damn.

Son of a bitch. Elmo, give me a hand here.

Be right there.

I'll get you. Today would be nice.

That punk Dirk.

I got him good, though.

I think I might've broken his nose.

His... jerks... they just held me down, beat the shit out of me.

We gotta get you to a hospital, Merl.

No, just take me home. My missus will clean me up.

Quite a place you got here, Merl.

Thank you, Ray.

Oh, honey. Oh, my word.

There she is, my darling.

What happened to you? I have been worried sick.

Bunch of thugs beat up on your pop at the gas station.

Her pop?

This is my old lady, son.

I told you about having big dreams, Ray.

Come on. Okay. Oh...

Honey, I need a hot bath.

Oh, yeah, honey, come on. Gonna take care of Daddy?

My goodness.


Evening, gentlemen.

Hi, Nora.

Hey. That the new car?

Barely runs. It'll be fine once we get done with it.

Sorry to barge in on you, but I could use some help.

Sure. That's nice. Where'd you get that?

Thrift store in Ridgecrest. You want to help me get it inside?

Let me go lock up.

No. It's for you, Ray.

You got this for me?

How come?

Just thought it'd be nice for you to have a place to get comfortable so you can have company, to chat and things.

Yeah? Yeah.

Think you could give us a hand, Den?

Got a couple of long necks with your name on 'em.

You got yourself a deal.

Heavy little thing.

Dang if that don't look just great.

Man, that was quite a workout.

I sure am thirsty.

Oh, right. Got you covered.


This place is a hell of a lot nicer than my hole.

You know, I was thinking maybe me and you could get together sometime... reminisce.

About what?

Here you go, Den.

Oh, bitchin'.

See you guys later.

He's a character, that boy.

He's harmless enough.

His wife's another kettle of fish.

Was she in our class? Not for very long.

Think she got thrown out for beating up the vice principal or something.

Take it for a test drive.

Well, what do you think?

Feels good.

Mmm, yeah.

You're awful sweet, aren't you?

Well, you tell me.

Well, I think you are, yeah.

Real sweet.

Well, I didn't mean to barge in like this... so you just enjoy this here sofa, and maybe sometime we'll get to share it together again.

I don't think I'll let anyone else sit on it except for you and me.

What's so funny? I'm serious.

Now, why are you looking at me like that?

Like what? Just like that.

Like I got something in my teeth.

Is that really how I'm looking at you, Ray?

Well, not exactly, I guess... but you sure look at me different than any woman ever has.

Oh, now...

What's that about?

Well, maybe I'm just enjoying being able to sit with you face to face after all these years.

How, until recently, I hadn't got to spend more than five or ten minutes at a time with you since 11th grade, but how that was enough for me.

Well, as you like say, you got to get up early, so...

I ain't saying it now.

Yeah, well, maybe I am.

Hey, Nora, let's get loaded.

...in front of my house. Eddie, come with me.

Get the fuck away from my bike, man.


All right. Let's go.

Hurry up. Hurry up, man.

Take it.

Spoonie, you keep a lookout. Eddie, come with me.

Goddamn it, what did I tell you about doing that in front of me!

What are you, six?

Sorry, Dirk.

It's fucking gross.

Which one of you inbreds left the door unlocked?

Where's the lock?

For what? For the door, you idiot.

I ain't no idiot. You're such a fucking idiot!

You're an idiot.

What? What?

Denny, hey, dumbass! The power's off again.

Denny! All right, woman, I hear you.

Hey, Ray? Power's off again.

So's the water.

Ray, I'm current on the rent.

I swear everybody in the neighborhood's all paid, too.

Did you take out the goddamn batteries?

I think it's a plug-in.

Plug it in to fucking what?

Hello. I'm sweating my balls off out here.

Yeah, I was right in the middle of my weekly shower.

Well, there's nothing we can do about it tonight, so...

How abouts we just don't pay our rents no more?

He'll have to do what we says. Want to risk being thrown out?

Where you gonna move, Den? In with you.

Then what are we supposed to do?

You all just cope a little while, and we'll get squared soon, I promise.



Go to town and get the Huggies.

Bitch, what do you think I'm doing?

I'm a responsible-ass father. I asked you five hours ago.

I know what the hell I'm supposed to be doing.

Get the Huggies!

Just mind your own babies, goddamn it.


You wanna work off the rent money you owe me?

Like a... a job?

Take this list, go in to Ridgecrest to a Supply Sergeant.

Well, Ray, I'm sort of busy today.

Too bad. Do it.

Be at my house, 11:00.

And tell Selma to bring her A game.

Scotty. Scotty.

Got a little assignment for you.

Don't you think "Happy Days" is just the best?

It is awfully good.

There's no denying it.

We really do have quite a lot in common, don't you think?

I do, Ray.

Special Ops to the rescue.

Now, Ray, this may be a little short, but I let out the crotch.

Den, there's just no way.

No? No.

Just a thought.

Well, it's not a Junior Miss pageant, Ray.

Door's open.

Hey, kids.

Thanks for showing, Merl.

I wouldn't miss this for the world.

I can't wait to chew that jerk a new set of butt cheeks.

Howdy, folks. Am I late?

Right on time. Well, how cool is that?

I don't think I've been on time my whole life.

Who invited the Chippendales reject?

Scotty, you forget to change?

Never mind. Running behind schedule.

Hey, everybody.

Heard you folks need a little ass kicked.

Coming up on 2300 hours. Everyone clear on their mission?

You bet. Yeah.

All right, then. Let's light this candle.


Okay, let's go.

What has gotten into you, Ray Tuckby?

Life, Nora. Life's gotten into me.

I mean, can you just imagine these dinosaurs thundering over the Earth in the Jurassic age?

Here we go.

Let's go over here. Get down.

Twenty bucks says it won't go off.

Make it 30, and it's a deal.

I'll have to owe you the extra ten.

Okay, I guess.

What the heck?

Didn't Dirk say nobody was allowed up here?

Excuse me.

I'm lost, and I cannot find my way.

Where you trying to get to?


Highway is just down yonder.

How can I ever repay you?

Hey, what are you doing here?



Hey there! Excuse me.

What the hell you doing? Get out of my house!

Never did appreciate that breed.

That's quite a talent your wife's got there.

She do parties as well?

Knock it off, you perv.

Is he dead? Candy, get out here!

There's a dead guy.

Shut up! You'll wake the baby.

Boy, am I glad Denny shoots blanks.

Okay, let's go.

I'll hand him up to you. You start loading the truck.

Just so you know, babies give me the heebie-jeebies.

Good job, Den. Come on.

Come on.

Remember, Selma, be gentle.

Go on.


So what's it gonna be, tough guy?

Join the resistance or get vaporized?

That's our cue. Come on.

Just another minute.

Well, here goes.

Gonna make ourselves a whole new future, gentlemen.

What's wrong?

I was just kinda hoping I could push the button, Mr. Tuckby.

I really like blowin' shit up.

All right, but no funny business, you hear?


Get the truck and take him to the dump.

For real, Dirk?

Deal with it, goddamn it!

This is for calling me an idiot every day of my life, Dirk.

Go get a potato sack and some twine.

I'll go get the truck.

What the... hey!

That's for giving me heat rash, mo-fo.

It can go boy, it can go girl.

Scotty, you do whatever the hell you want with him.

It's not just for a girly girl or a boy.

Do it again.

Oh, my Lord.

I think I fudged my pants.

Oh, those babies.

I just want to eat them up, they're so precious.

There it is.

Shit, man, that was fun.

My God, we've done good, Ray.

Just like that game we won against Solvang back in '89 when I made that key block and basically walked into the end zone.

You remember, right, Ray?

My key block?

Turned out the little twerp wasn't that hard to take down.

Just a bit of guts and determination from all of us, Dirk and company went over faster than a one-legged cat in a sand box.

Let us down!

Good job, guys.

Pleasure's right here, Ray.

Get this thing off of me. Somebody help!

That hurts, goddamn it.

Let's get the record straight, punk.

You're going to apologize right now for making life a dark, ugly experience in this here community, or Scotty's going to teach you what true pain is.

We clear?

Eat me.

Got another surprise for you.


Sasquatch Two, this is Sasquatch One.

We're ready for Operation Clean Sweep.

Roger that, Sasquatch One.

You and your cohorts are going to take a nice long time out.


No fucking way. I didn't do nothing.

Well, we don't see it that way.

Take care now.

Somebody help me.

Candy, Tammy, Wanda, Jeanine?

I made this town. I made this town what it is.

You all have roofs over your head because of me, all of your ugly-ass heads.

Oh, no. He's gonna be crying.

He's going to prison, gonna learn his lesson.

He's off. Oh, hey.

Hey, hold on, hold on.

Can I just say a few more things?

What if I, like, turn over a whole new loaf, or whatever that is, and I'll change?

Sorry, Spoon.

You go clean up and come back, and we'll make nice, deal?

All right, deal. Wait, you're pinching my wrist.

Ray, you know, my wife is in need of a little rehab herself.

I was thinking maybe we could put her on a bus.

You're gonna have to deal with that on your own.

God, I hate to piss that woman off.

Right on schedule.

Those girls over there.

Well, Ray...

I'll see you around.

Well, what now, Ray?

I guess that's up to us.

You know how they say

"The more things change, the more they stay the same"?


Can you believe this?

Sounds nice.


Remember awhile back, you asked me why I never left Trona?

Yes, I do.

Well, it was 'cause of you.

This place is hell, Nora, but knowing I'd get to come through that Rite-Valu door every day and see your sweet face made it paradise.


What the hey was that?

It's called a French kiss.

A what?

It's a little more intimate than a regular kiss.

I read about it recently in one of those Harlequin books over in the miscellaneous section, aisle three.

It sure was different.

Kind of like a toothbrush... but I liked it.

You can try it if you want to.


You sure?

Whatever you're comfortable with.

I think I'm getting the hang of it.

There are two types of heroes.

One changes himself, the other changes those around him.

Is that some of your famous lemon meringue?

Recipe's been in my family for generations.

Bring on a slice or two.

Coming right up. Den?

Well, I guess in the end, Ray was both.

I'll help you, darling.

Right this way, folks.

R'ch'lle, you're doing a great job.

How's the back holding up, hon?

Just fine, Ray.

Eddie, I think we're gonna need to add another pastry chef.

I'm already on it, Pop.

Hey, where can a man and his missus get something to eat around here?

How have you been, friend? Ray, how you doin'?

It looks like we're on the same schedule.

Nora, you look really nice. Hi.

You know Angel? Yes. Hi.

Well, we were just driving around, and we thought maybe we'd come to see what kind of progress you were making.

I wanna tell you, Ray, you got it all.

I am so proud of you.

Well, couldn't have done it without you.

I know that.

How about a table for a couple hungry people?

Oh, by the way, I heard that meringue is to die for.

Right this way.

Maybe the American dream does still exist, even for my friend Ray... and even in a place like Trona.