Kinsey (2004) Script

Don't sit so far away.

Anything that creates a distance should be avoided.

And try not to frown.

Was I frowning? You have to relax.

How can I be expected to open up if you're not relaxed?

Right. Take a deep breath.

Start again.

As you can see, this piece of paper has been divided into squares.

There are 287 of them.

Your sex history will fit on this single page in a cryptic code.

Don't forget to mention that there's no written key to the code.

The interview subject will only be candid if he knows he's speaking in the strictest confidence.

Right. Okay.

So, when were you born?

June 23, 1894.

Are you single or married?

Married.

What is your race?

Don't waste time asking the obvious, Martin.

Fill it in yourself. What is your religion?

Methodist. How often do you attend church?

Not at all now, but I did regularly until I was 19.

How did you get along with your father and mother when you were growing up?

That's a multiple question.

It allows me to ignore any part I don't want to answer.

How did you get along with your mother?

We had a close relationship. And your father?

How did you get along with your father?

And what are we to do?

We turn away from matters of the flesh, and we turn to things... of the spirit.

Lust... has a thousand avenues-- the dance hall, the ice cream parlor, the tenement saloon, the Turkish bath.

Like the Hydra, it grows new heads everywhere.

Even the modern inventions of science are used to cultivate immorality.

The gas engine has brought us the automobile joyride and an even more pernicious menace: the roadside brothel.

Electricity has made possible the degrading picture show.

Because of the telephone, a young woman can hear the voice of her suitor on the pillow, right next to her.

And let's not forget the most scandalous invention of all-- the talon-slide fastener, otherwise known as the zipper, which provides every man and boy speedy access to moral oblivion.

Are you currently in good health?

I suppose so.

What makes you doubtful?

Every doctor I've ever seen.

Early disease left me with a weakened heart.

Did you have any illnesses that kept you out of school?

I had typhoid fever and rickets.

Also rheumatic fever.

Measles, chicken pox, pneumonia, and several bouts of influenza.

Pomeroy, what are you doing?

You're worse than Martin.

Never make judgments about people.

I wasn't.

Your body posture told me that my list of ailments made you uncomfortable.

Maybe it did. Sorry.

Maintaining a nonjudgmental attitude is harder than you think.

The best way is to smile, nod your head while looking me directly in the eye.

Where were we?

Your health as a boy.

It improved greatly when I finally discovered the outdoors.

I never got over the excitement of setting off into the wild, escaping bed, illness, family.

Alone?

No. No. Never alone.

I was surrounded by friends.

Being in the outdoors taught me to rely on my own judgment.

I started to learn about things by grasping them, tasting them, looking at them.

Biology? Yes.

Biology.

The science of life.

The fields and woods became my new place of worship, my cathedral.

The only sadness they brought was when I had to leave them.

How old were you when you first tried to pleasure yourself?

No. No. No euphemisms.

If you're talking to a college graduate, use "masturbation," "testicles," "penis,"

"vagina," "vulva," "urination," "defecation."

With the lower-level male, it's "jacking off," "balls,"

"prick," "cunt," "piss," "shit."

I don't know, Gebhard.

Maybe your Harvard degree is too ivory tower for our purposes.

I was brought up out west.

I've rubbed shoulders with ranchers, miners my whole life.

And I thought you were gonna shave that mustache. I like it.

It's a disguise, a cover-up.

Look at any movie. The villain's always the one with the mustache.

My wife likes it.

You have a chance to make an important contribution to knowledge and science.

Are you telling me you'd give that up for a little facial hair?

Yes, I suppose I am.

Well, keep it trimmed.

Let's get back to masturbation.

That's a mating call.

So, how'd you wind up at the Stevens Institute, Al?

I thought you wanted to be a biologist.

There are enough scientists in the world, son.

Engineers are what society needs now.

I, um-- I had one of the old fits again.

I tried to stop it.

"Any habit which causes the sex fluid to be discharged

"must be resisted.

"Doctors link it to an assortment of illnesses

"including insanity, blindness, epilepsy, even death."

What if it happens while you're asleep?

"It is said that the loss of one ounce of seminal fluid equals the loss of 40 ounces of blood."

I'm killing myself, and I'm not even awake.

What are we supposed to do?

"Keep your bowels open, "read the Sermon on the Mount, "sit with your testicles submerged in a bowl of cold water,

think of your mother's pure love."

Why don't we pray?


Come on. Keep firing questions.

Extreme rapidity makes it very difficult for a subject to lie.

How young were you the first time you had an orgasm while dreaming?

How frequently did you have wet dreams? What did you dream about?

How young were you when you first experienced hugging or kissing?

Necking? Petting? Oral sex?

How young were you when you no longer thought of your parents' home as your own?

Al, it's getting late. Let's make the rounds.

Al! Be right down!

Pack of Fatimas.

Okay, son. That'll be 15 cents.

You're a criminal, sir.

I shall report you at once to the local authorities.

Dear Jesus, a goddamn Protestant.

Did you not sell this vile weed to a minor?

What business is that of yours?

It is the Lord's work to protect the young from temptation.

Men like you, sir-- Get the hell out of my store.

...men of weak character-- I've given you proper warning.

...are offensive to the great mass of right-thinking American citizens--

Shut up! You know what you are, Father? A prig.

Al. A skinflint, a petty tyrant, and a hypocrite to boot!

You think you matter? You don't matter.

There's something wrong with him.

Come on, Al. No.

Maybe your workload is too heavy.

You could drop mechanical drawing.

I've withdrawn from Stevens.

That's impossible.

I'm a senior member of the faculty. Someone would've informed me.

Why? Everyone there hates you.

I'm going to Bowdoin to study biology.

And how do you intend to pay for that?

They've given me a partial scholarship.

And I've socked away most of my scouting money.

You've become a shady person, Al, a person who keeps secrets.

I had no choice.

What a disappointment you turned out to be.

How many years of schooling did you complete? Twenty.

After taking my undergraduate degree at Bowdoin, I received my doctorate from the Bussey Institute at Harvard.

I took a position as assistant professor of zoology here at Indiana University.

At first I studied the Rhaetulus didieri, or stag beetle.

Then I discovered a far more fascinating insect.

This is the American Cynipidae, or gall wasp.

Here the wasp deposits an egg into its host plant.

In this case, an oak tree.

The adult wasp chews its way through the tree and copulates.

At which point it has the good sense to die.

The animal kingdom includes at least two million insect species.

So, what makes the gall wasp so fascinating?

I've spent the last three years crisscrossing the continent, collecting gall wasps.

What have I learned from my tiny friends, 1/2 size of the household ant?

That you need a date.

After studying thousands of these pesky creatures under the microscope, I've yet to find a single gall wasp that's the same as another.

In fact, some are so different that the offspring of one generation bear no more resemblance to their parents than a sheep bears to a goat.

There are those of us who might take comfort in this fact.

Consider the implications.

If every single living thing is different from every other living thing, then diversity becomes life's one irreducible fact.

Only variations are real.

And to see them, you simply have to open your eyes.

Hello. Mind if I sit here?

Why?

Because you're the only unattached male, and I'm the only unattached female.

That's very sensible.

A man who cooks. How refreshing.

I picked it up when I went out west to collect galls.

I was gone for 11 months, I don't think I saw more than 12 people the whole time.

Sounds lonely.

I enjoyed it.

I've been reading up on gall wasps.

I think I know why they appeal to you.

They have great big wings, but they can't fly.

They are incapable of getting from this hill to that hill unless it's close enough to walk, which means it's possible to retrace each generation's steps, hill by hill... by hill by hill, all the way back to the very beginning.

The gall wasp Garden of Eden.

That's very interesting, Miss Millen.

You've managed to bridge the gap between Darwin & Book of Genesis in a phrase.

McMillen.

Clara McMillen.

I'm Prok.

Sorry? It's a nickname my graduate students have given me.

Pro-- fessor K-- insey. Prok.

At first I worried that it suggested an inappropriate level of intimacy between teacher and student that could lead to a loss of respect down the line.

I think it just means they like you.

Yes. Eventually I realized that.

Um, tomato bisque and sandwiches?

Please.


Such an impressive collection.

Thanks. They used to be categorized by period.

But then I rearranged them alphabetically by composer.

I find it's more efficient.

Did you ever...playing professionally? Because you're very good.

Oh, please. Thank you.

But, uh, "very good" isn't good enough.

I got you a present.

Ah! Here.

Oh, how marvelous!

They're the right size.

At what age did you first have premarital intercourse?

I didn't.

So, at the time of marriage you were a virgin? Yes.

Was your spouse also a virgin?

Yes.

When you got married, did you want to get married?

Very much.

I see marriage as a lifetime partnership between equals.

You're a brilliant scholar with a keenly perceptive mind and a profound respect for nature.

You're a capable hiker and camper and a champion swimmer, and you're the one girl in a million who's as interested in insects as I am.

To be honest, Prok, I'm just not sure.

Okay.

I consider myself a free thinker. Yes!

Frankly, I find you a little "churchy."

"Churchy"?

And I've had another proposal.

I'm not saying no. I just need time.

Prok.

I think you're mean!

Mean, heartless, and cold!


Astounding.

If you'll have me.

A gall wasp in amber.

How old is it? About 80 million years or so.

Does Mrs. Kinsey like her wedding present?

It's perfect.


I'm sorry. No, no, I--

How beautiful.

May I?


I'm sorry.

I'm a little nervous.

It's okay. W-We don't have to--

No!

I'm ready.


Forgive me, Mac. No, I'm sorry.

It's just-- It hurts too much.

It's a long drive to my parents'.

We should get some sleep.

Robert's had a 92 in mechanical drawing, a 95 in mathematics, and a clean 100... in shop practice.

That's splendid, Robert. Congratulations.

I was worried that his teachers were showing him favor due to my senior position, but they tell me he is the most gifted student in his class.

Well, living with the best teacher at Stevens doesn't hurt, Father.

Oh, please.

At this rate, he'll finish his degree in, uh, three years.

Al, tell us what you've been working on.

Well-- Don't bother, Al.

She won't be able to follow you.

She's only had a fourth-grade education.

I'm studying gall wasps, Mom.

I've gathered over 100,000 specimens, which is really only a drop in the bucket.

-But my aim is-- -Ten years of higher education, and he's still collecting bugs.

Prok's also written a biology textbook.

Really?

It's read in colleges across the country.

It's actually a very good read.

So I assume you plan to start a family soon.

No, no, I-- Don't rush it.

Once you have children, you're tied down forever-- your life is over.

What?

I don't know what I expected, exactly, but he's far worse than I ever imagined.

He is pretty awful, isn't he?

"I once read... Shh!

"that the decline of the Roman empire was the result of too-frequent bathing."

"Some speculate...

"that rampant adultery is a possible cause of earthquakes."

I'm sorry you had to witness that.

I think I really fell in love with you tonight.

Seeing you here.

Do you think we can make this work, Mac?

I don't know.

I've-- I've heard some people just don't fit together.

There's no one I'd rather be with.

Physically? I mean--

If only there were some way to know.

That's it, Mac.

Every problem has a solution...even this one.

We just need to talk to someone, an expert who's studied the matter.

What are you doing?

Why waste any more time?

Your hymen shows an inordinate thickness.

Dr. Kinsey, how large is your penis?

Excuse me?

When erect, how large is it?

How long from the scrotum? Here?

Here?

Here?

I'm surprised you didn't pass out.

Is there anything we can do?

It's a common-enough problem. Would you like to take care of it today?

Sure.


Oh! God!

God. God.

What was the maximum number of times you had intercourse with your spouse in any seven-day period?

I'd say... 20 or so.

At least three times a day the first week, so 21, at a minimum.

Is there tongue kissing during foreplay?

Yes. Yes.

Hand on breast? Yes.

Mouth? Hand on female genitalia?

Hand on penis? Yes.

Mouth on female genitalia?

Mouth on penis? Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

I became pregnant with Anne in 1923.

I decided to give up my graduate work.

By the time Anne was born, I had collected over 200,000 gall wasps.

Joan came along a year later.

Just after Joan's 5th birthday I reached my goal of half a million wasps.

And Bruce is our youngest.

Bruce found the gall that hatched the millionth wasp.

It was in the mountains outside Mexico City.

They grow up so fast.

We just didn't know who to talk to, Professor Kinsey.

What about your parents?

I'd rather die.

We heard you had good advice for some of the biology students.

Sexual difficulty among newly married people is more common than you think.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

How long have you been married? Two months now.

And, Emily, you've had absolutely no response during that time?

It's like I'm dead down there.

We went to the doctor, and he said there's nothing wrong.

Does Ben ever use his fingers to excite you?

why bother, now that we can do the real thing?

What's your most common sexual position?

There's more than one?

Mac and I are still discovering some.

Emily, were you sexually experienced before you got married?

No.

I still thought babies came out of women's navels.

Did you ever masturbate?

It's all my fault.

I'm damaged in some way.

I'm frigid.

I don't think that's the problem at all.

Ben, do you ever perform oral sex on Emily?

Uh, I-- I don't know what that means, sir.

Genital kissing.

My brother told me that that causes problems later on... with having babies.

Oh, I don't think that's true.

No, I heard that too.

I can assure you, there's no relation between oral sex and pregnancy.

But how do you know?

How do I know the Earth is round? It just is.

But... has anyone actually proven that there's no connection?

If you're asking whether there's been a scientific study devoted to the subject of oral copulation and fertility, well... frankly, I don't know.

Well, then how can you be sure?

I felt like a blundering amateur.

I couldn't imagine where those kids' crazy idea came from until I discovered this--

Ideal Marriage: Its Physiology & Technique.

Oh, dear.

"Oral contact, while acceptable as a means of stimulation, is pathological if carried through to orgasm and possibly injurious."

I must be in grave danger then.

Wait. "The hand should never be used for the purpose of sexual excitation.

"There is but one finger of love with which to approach the female genitals, and that is the male organ."

It's all just hooey. Morality disguised as fact.

Just do your tie.

Professor Kinsey's methods of collecting vast numbers of gall wasps over a wide geographic range have made him a starred scientist.

They have also earned him his immortal nickname

"Get-A-Million" Kinsey.

"Bore-A-Million" Kinsey.

His new book, The Origin of Higher Categories in--

"Sinnips"? "Cynips"?

Close enough.

Traces the origin of the gall wasp back to its birthplace in the Upper Cretaceous.

So, now I give you...

Dr. Kinsey.

Thank you, President Wells, for that incisive description of 20 yrs of work.

I thought you might actually have read my book until I saw those crib notes in your palm.