Kung Fu Panda: Secrets of the Scroll (2016) Script

Who knows the ways of the universe?

Where and when a raindrop might fall?

How strongly a wind will blow?

I get it. Yeah

Is it all just an accident?

Or could it be destiny? Yay, this is awesome.

Nice. Radish Po Help. Help me.

Sorry. Excuse me coming through Dad, I'll protect you from that...

Pen? I need you to autograph your stuff.

Stuff?

Business has doubled since I turned your bedroom into a gift shop.

Gift shop? Dragon Warrior Souvenirs with every purchase.

Whoa whoa whoa, you're selling my stuff?

Oh no no no no Oh boy, thank you.

I'm giving it away. What?

What about my furious five figures? Where are they?

I put them in a box over there.

This box?

Oops

No

I'm sorry, Po. Dad, they're hand-made scale replicas with Kung Fu action.

I made them the day I fell in love with Kung Fu.

I have to find them.

Po, it was an accident.

Where are they?

Accident? Or destiny?

Little does Po know that it was just such an accident that brought the furious Five together all those years ago.

This is the story of how the Five came to be

Straighten up Yes, master Shifu.

Wider. Lower stance Hold your ground Steady. Strong Chin up This is the way of Kung Fu I can't even tell them apart.

Focus Control

Control

There she is.

What are you doing? That's not proper form. This is not control.

And stand on your feet.

I'm sorry master. I don't know what got into me.

I won't let it happen again. I wish I could believe that.

One hundred laps. Yes, master Shifu.

Higher knees. Yes, master Shifu.

She wants to make you proud. Well, maybe I could be proud if she was doing the correct form.

Your form. Is there another kind?

Shifu, an acorn can only become the mighty oak. Not a cherry tree.

You must let her grow into what she will be.

Master Oogway Master Shifu Master Mongrel, What is it?

He's coming a giant of warrior He calls himself Boar I am Boar He's unstoppable. I am unstoppable.

He's invincible. I am invis... inciv...

I am Boar.

He's defeating the masters one by one. He's heading this way.

Shifu, only you can stop him.

Some boar has destroyed the North road. So have to go get vegetables in the South.

And now while I'm gone, you're the chef.

Alright don't worry, dad. I watched you cook like a thousand times. I'll be good at cheffing... cheffery.

I almost forgot. Goodbye I'll miss you. I'll be back soon.

Now don't forget. Before you open, sweep the sidewalk, wipe down the tables and pass out the menus.

Sweep, wipe, pass out, like everyday. Don't worry, dad. I got this. Go Okay, bye.

Well, that's done.

That boar will be here by morning. But I've dealt with his kind before.

I hold my ground. Steady, Strong He's been at this all day. Hasn't he?

Yes, he's amazing.

I'll never be like him.

No, you won't.

Shifu, there's a matter of the utmost importance.

What could be more important than preparing for battle? Food.

Let's order in.

Chop, chop, chop. Ow I know I'm what preparing when I'm here somewhere.

Oh, the spices. Right So...

What do you guys do all day up there at the...

Jade palace.

Kung Fu Thank you. Bless you, too.

No no, Kung Fu. Oh, yeah, Kung Fu.

That's really neat how you do the Fu thing with the Kung.

You have no idea what that is. Do you?

No. No, I don't.

Well, I should get this back.

Right. Yeah of course. They're gonna love it. Love it.

What was in that food?

Please fetch a doctor.

He's in no condition to fight that boar. I can hear you.

Tigress is right. You need reinforcements.

Master, it would be an honor to fight for you. No, you are not ready.

Get me a scroll.

This is a list of four warriors. Find them in the Wang Fu village and hurry.

No.

Send Tigress.

Master, I won't disappoint you.

Be back before dawn.

Do not fail me.

I will make you proud.

Po, did you hear? Some idiot cook poisoned Shifu.

What?

Is he dead? Not yet. But he will be when they catch him.

No, I meant Shifu. Oh no, he's alive barely.

So how did you do? Oh, I've made a mess.

Oh, that you did.

My son the chef, I'm so proud.

Yeah, about the whole chef thing. Maybe there's something else I'd be good at.

Well, let's see how good you are at cleaning up this mess.

Good thinking, dad. I clean things. I'd be a great cleaner. You a cleaner?

I can't even get you to take a bath.

You're funny. You should be a comedian. A comedian.

Or a dancer? Got it, dancer. I can do graceful.

You graceful? I feel sick.

Then you need a doctor. I could be a doctor.

Cleaner, comedian, dancer, doctor. Great, what else?

An emperor Can I?

No, I was just kidding.

Po, your destiny is to become a chef like me.

I can't be a chef. I'm the one who pois..... antidote.

That I can't be a chef.

Dad, I'm never gonna be like you.

I just... I don't know what I wanna do.

I know what you can do. Take out the trash.

Pardon me, I'm here to see Shifu. I'm the doctor.

Sorry The list Okay, nice meeting you.

You have to know what you want to do in life Otherwise you end up being a loser. Like that chef who poisoned Shifu. Right, Po?

Yeah, right but I am.

I am Boar. I am unstoppable.

Master Shifu from the Jade Palace, he will stop you.

Shifu?

The Jade Palace.

Make it quick. I have a valley to defend.

Acupuncture is a very precise art. Have you ever don this before?

No, you're my first patient.

That is weird.

The cleaner? It must be a code name.

Masters, the valley is in great peril. Master Shifu sent me here to fetch four warriors.

I'm looking for...

Cleaner?

Yes?

Right Master cleaner, it is an honor to meet you.

Master shifu's asked that you return with me to the Jade Palace. You are needed there.

The Jade Palace?

Excellent work Yes. I... yes of course, I'll go. Good. We must hurry.

The Jade Palace. I'm needed there.

Let's see who's next?

The comedian?

That's not a banana, that's my wife.

This is awful!

Okay, two of us going to a bar Actually one of us going...

Do not go in there. He's so bad. Excellent Hello. Master comedian?

I've been sent by master Shifu...

Is everything all right? Sure, I killed in there.

I can not read this. It's upside down.

Master Shifu asked that you return with me to the Jade Palace.

Jade Palace?

That's not my wife, that's a banana. Get it?

Excellent joke.

Master? Master comedian?

Would you come?

Then I say "That's my wife".

Well, there you go. So who's next?

The dancer

Excellent show The Jade Palace Father, I'll make you proud. I've always been proud of you.

Oh, that's so cute.

So who's next on the list? What?

Oh yes, the doctor.

I'm the doctor.

He's already there. Let's go.

I read about this once. It's called eyeball acupuncture.

So brace for impact.

Coming through


Now I know why Shifu chose you. Really? Why?

Because you're amazing.

Nice Oh wow, thanks.

At this pace, we'll get there just in time. Great, can't wait.

And with the doctor, you have the four you've requested.

Wait, what?

May I add, it was an honor to serve you.

Tigress, what is this?

The warriors on your list. Warrior? Where?

This is not my list. Where are the warriors that I sent for?

Is it my turn?

I don't understand. It must be an accident.

There are no acci...

Master, forgive me.

You disappoint me.

Who will defend the valley now?

Wait, we can help Tigress.

What? We can fight a little...bit.

Yes, you can count me in, too. Let's do this.

I'm not actually even a doctor so I'm in.

You can help by leaving. Okay, bye.

No master, please listen. I have seen them. They have skills.

But they are not the warriors I sent for.

It's been an honor to know you. But Tigress I'm sorry.

Master Shifu, master The Boar, the Boar has been spotted by the great forest.

Evacuate the city to higher ground Right away You, you should leave now.

Let's go.

I'll do what I can.

The cleaner, the comedian The dancer and even that little doctor It was no accident that you found them.

I failed Shifu. Worse.

You're failing yourself.

No matter how much you try ,you will never be Shifu

The question is can you be Tigress?

This is terrible. Yes, they're leaving before breakfast No dad. If I hadn't poisoned Shifu with my food then none of this would've happened.

Po, you cooked that meal for Shifu?

So Shifu ate noodles from Ping's noodle hut?

Dad, I'm very sorry. I was gonna tell you but... No, this is fantastic.

But... Now serving the Jade Palace Ping and son.

You can't buy this kind of publicity. But dad...

If we hurry, we'll be the only one selling food to all those starving folk.

Wait I'll get the pots.

But... Gather some roots and mushrooms from the hilltop And I'll see you up there later.

Okay, I'm on it.

I wish there was something we could do. So any idea how big this Boar is?

Is it like huge? Is it gigantic? Biggish?

I am Boar.

I hold my ground.

Steady Strong This is the way of Kung Fu.

So you're gonna stop me?

Let's see.

Is that all you got? I'm disappointed.

I was expecting a challenge.

Good morning, Shifu. I must do something.

No, her destiny is not yours to control.

I am unstoppable.

Gotcha

Don't move, sweetie.

You know what the best part of a joke is?

The punchline.

Need a hand?

What are you doing? You're nothing.

I just defeated Shifu.

No I'm not Shifu.

I am Tigress Whoa


Let me hold your breath. It's gonna hurt.

Alright, All together.

Twist your hips.

Recoil

And extend I've been stopped.

Kung Fu I know I know what I wanna do.

I know what I wanna do.

I guess we're done here. Hey, we could be a team.

Yes Agree What should we call ourselves?

Here Shifu Feel better What about the forensic Five? The funky five?

The fireproof Five? Bigger, think bigger.

The fleshy Five?

Sloppy, very sloppy.

Your technique is unorthodox and undisciplined Training begins right away.

Tigress, what are you doing?

It's time to develop this Tigress style of yours.

I am very proud of you.

Master Wait You all can stay.

You fought well with courage and honor.

We must explore those skills of yours.

You are tiny. They're small.

But I already know how much pain you can inflict. You're welcome.

Oh, four fists, huh?

I think you should be able to handle this.

What ever their nature, your limbs will become your weapons.

Your shields. Your best allies.

Right, no legs. Yeah Oops We'll work something out.

Alright then We have five new Kung Fu styles to perfect.

And then Tigress went for the last blow Where are they? Where?

I'll follow your leads, master Tigress. Together we'll defeat this bandits.

They don't stand a chance against my side kick.

Come on you ugly bandit Come have a taste of my foot.

Forgive me, master Tigress. I failed you.

You'll never be a great warrior. This stance is too weak.

That's because he won't eat his broccoli Well, I believe in him.

Yes, right foot.

That's it. Now shift your weight Twist the hips Recoil And extend Yes Thank you master Tigress Come on sweetie. Bed time Coming mom, coming.

Well done little master.

Did you find your dolls?

Your father told us he accidentally gave them away.

No, I think they're right where they're meant to be.

Besides, I got the real thing right here.

Yeah, that is right. Sweet Who knows the ways of the universe?

Accident? Or destiny?

That is the secret