Le divorce (2003) Script

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** [ Man Singing In French ]


What is the purpose of your visit to Paris?

To visit my sister. She's having a baby.

She's married to a Frenchman.

I mean, her husband's French. She's a poet.

Bon journée. Bon journée.

You want those berries, huh?

Bon journée. Bon journée.

Artichokes, asparagus.

In the 17th century, well-bred women never ate asparagus.

Especially white asparagus.

Really. It was considered bad for reproduction.

The Princess de Clèves would never have had any.

Really? I'll take it anyway.

I love it. So does my husband.

And I'm pregnant.

In any case, it's still a good diuretic.

Papa is home. Where are you going?

What's wrong?

I'm sorry.

Where are you going? I'm sorry, Roxeanne.

I'll call you. I'm sorry.

I'll call you. No, don't. Talk to me. Don't--

Just-- No, no, don't. Don't.

Why are you doing this? Don't, Roxeanne.

Charles-Henri!

Just tell me where you're going. I'll call you.

Are you coming back?

Are you free? Ah, Isabel. Hey! Hi.

I'm sorry. I am in a hurry. I have got to go.

Okay.

I'll see you later.

Thank you, mademoiselle. Good-bye.

Looking for someone?

Roxy de Persand, my sister.

You sound just like her.

Let me help. I'll call her.

Oh. Thank you.

I'll buzz her.

Mrs. de Persand?

It's just up there on the right.

Hey, where was Charles-Henri going?

Uh, he had to go to the country to see about one of his paintings.

Well? What do you think? I love the beams in the ceilings.

They look like the ones we have in Santa Barbara. Hi.

Oh, no, no. Those are the fake ones.

These are the real load-bearing ones.

She looks so much better here than she ever did at home.

[ Girl ] Papa did that picture.

[ Isabel ] He did? Yeah, and he did that one too.

Ooh! And he did this one too.

Yeah? And that's the two dog one.

Two dogs? Did Charles-Henri go to the country... to sell a picture to somebody or to paint one?

I'm not sure.

This is the tricky part.

Here it is.

It was a maid's room, but these days you have no idea... what a space like this is worth.

And of course it makes a wonderful place to work in.

[ Sighs ] Look at the view.

There's a present for you in the orange purse.

This one? Yeah.

I hope you're not gonna feel too cramped up here.

Oh, no.

Oh.

Oh, it's beautiful. You like it?

Yeah. Let me put it on you.

Thank you.

I think...

Charles-Henri has left me.

What?

Did something happen? Is he having an affair?

I don't know what's going on.

I don't even know where he is.

And what am I gonna tell his family at their Sunday lunch?

You tell them exactly what you told me. That he's in the country.

No, but they're in the country.

[ Man On P.A., In French ]

If I were to tell my French friends that Charles-Henri had walked out, they'd say, "Of course."

The French always say "of course" to everything.

Like everything is absolutely normal.

C'est normale. Mais bien sûr.

I'll never say, "But of course."

There's my brother-in-law, Antoine.

Oh, he's kinda cute. You think?

Yeah. Anyway, he's married.

Whatever that means nowadays.


We saw a car on fire!

Really? How dangerous!

Our adorable Isabel, welcome.

Thank you. Where's Charles-Henri?

He had to go to the country to see some people about a painting.

Of course. Come inside.

Isabel, right here, next to my brother, Edgar, called Palou in the family.

He'll take very good care of you.

And my son, Antoine, on the other side.

Charlotte, here. And my darling, Roxeanne, next to me.

Oh, what good fortune to have two such lovely American girls with us today.

Are you also a poet like your sister Roxeanne?

Oh, no. Roxy's always been the smart one.

She inherited all of our father's brains.

I'm just the poor little half sister.

Really? Just like Cinderella.

Where in the country?

To see a buyer about a painting.

Of course.

[ Silverware Clanging ] Calmez-vous les enfants.

Lamb raised near Mont St. Michel.

I went to see Mont St. Michel! Ah, oui?

What do you think of that senator of yours?

The chap that kept a diary of all his sexual exploits.

I'm sorry?

Oh, perhaps you haven't been following the affair... with the same eagerness as we have.

We're fully informed about his secretaries who were so obliging to him.

Very discretely he calls them only "S-One"-- "S" for sex.

S-Two, S-Three. S-Four.

S-Five. S-Six. No, no.

Gennie, that's enough. S-Seven.

And when he asked S-One, or was it S-Four, to explain the power he had over her, she said it was his hair.

Apparently he blow-dries it not using any gel... so that it always comes out with the right amount of--

Uh, bounce? Yes.

Why? Why are adultery and fornication... treated as the greatest joke on Earth?

I don't think they're always so comic.

Me too.

Well, many things in this world... can be treated as tragedy rather than comedy.

Such as old senators who like pretty young women.

[ Woman's Voice ] Also, I'm free to watch Gennie whenever you want.

It's no problem whatsoever.

[ Phone Rings ] Hello?

Can you do me a favor? Where are you? Tell me.

I forgot my contact lenses. Can we meet at the Flore?

Why? Why can't you come here?

Gennie's asking for you. What am I supposed to tell her?

Tell her... I'm thinking of her all the time.

And me? What did you say?

Are you thinking of me?

Sure I am. I'm thinking of all of us.

Do you-- Do you still love me?

So you don't wanna bring them? Okay.

Don't hang up. J'arrive.

I'm going out.

Charles-Henri wants me to meet him.

I'll go with you. No, you don't have to.

I want to.

I can't believe I agreed to do this.

Why don't I just let him walk all over me?

[ Man Whistles ] Hey, hey, les filles! Did you hear that?

No. What did he say? You don't wanna know.

[ In French ]


Did you invite us for a drink?

I think I'll take the-- What's that thing that tastes like licorice?

Ricard. Roxy, here you are.

I've been trying to call you.

Mrs. Pace. So nice to see you.

Charles-Henri.

Where is he going? Did I say something?

He's going to the country.

Oh. Well, come on. Let's have a drink.

[ Both Speaking French ]

And you would like? A Ricard.

A Ricard for the lady.

Roxy, what are you allowed to drink now? What? Three months?

I'm Isabel.

Oh, I'm sorry, this is my sister. Olivia, Isabel.

Hello. Nice to meet you.

Roxy, I need you desperately.

The University of Tulsa, my alma mater, has bought all my papers and things, which are in a terrible mess, and I was wondering if you would consider--

I mean, you're the first person I thought of-- helping me put them in some kind of order.

Now is not a good time for you.

Isabel is looking for a job.

Yeah, you are. You can't babysit Gennie and me forever.

She's done all kinds of courses.

Art history, film. What else?

Comparative Literature and Depth Psychology?

Good. That means you can read and write, and you're just the person I need.

Do you know how to prepare a Ricard? Not really.

Add a little water.

There you go. Some ice, and you stir.

[ Both Speak French ]

** [ Ballet ]

[ Instructing In French ]

Bravo. Bravo.

Did you have fun? Yeah.

Excuse me. Are you Gennie's babysitter?

She's my aunt. I'm sorry.

This is for Gennie's mom. Last month's bill.

She must have forgotten. Okay, d'accord.

Tell her how much I like Gennie. She's talented, lively.

I enjoy having her in my class.

Don't forget your pirouette. Practice!

Merci. Au revoir.

Roxy's taken a wrong turn in life, and for all we know, Isabel, you may be going the same way.

Does Roxy have any money? Does Roxy have any money?

I don't know. She never talks about it.

But she never talks about anything. It's like she's in some sort of denial.

I knew this would happen. I knew the day they got married.

Roger wants to talk to you. Here.

Listen, Is, do not let Roxy... allow Charles-Henri to take the Saint Ursula painting.

In case he comes to get his stuff, he should not get the idea that it's his.

Right. Saint Ursula's right here. I'm looking right at her.

Hang on.

Darling, just remember, we love you both.

Bye, honey. Talk to you soon.

So what'd she say? Roxy's miserable.

What'd she say about the painting? It's not just hers, you know.

It belongs to all of us. You never should have let her take it over there.

You know that woman from the Getty?

She said it could've been painted by a student of Georges de La Tour.

And maybe bits of it could've been done by Georges La Tour himself.

I mean, now he's just this huge star. Of course, we had no idea.

That's it. If it's valuable enough for them to borrow it, we have to get it back.

It would be wonderful to have a painting hanging in a museum.

"From the collection of Professor and Mrs. Chester Walker of Santa Barbara."

You people are just incapable of concentrating on essentials.

That's right.

Our girls are thousands of miles away and they should be home with us.

That's the essentials.

Honey. What?


Thank you. You're welcome.

So, Charles-Henri's mother has been very nice.

She calls all the time, takes us to lunch at expensive restaurants.

Roxy thinks Suzanne is just pretending to be on her side... and that, in reality, her son can do no wrong.

All French mothers are crazy about their sons.

French women are extraordinary.

I'm thinking of writing a little book about them and their native habitat.

All their customs and ceremonials.

I mean, their scarves alone-- an entire chapter.

Knotted in front, one end down, other end thrown over the shoulder.

Or looped around double and the ends tucked in.

Or around the shoulder, over their coat like a shawl.

Or tied in the back. I mean, châle, foulard, écharpe.

Just think of all the words they have for scarf.

And in a language which is very sparse in vocabulary.

So, do you intend to stay? In Paris?

Mm. Maybe.

If it works out, I'd like to.

Why not? I'm thinking of going home soon.

After all this is done.

I bought a house on the coast of Maine.

I dream about it night after night.

The bare rock, the cold sea.

Yves. This is Isabel.

It's Roxy's sister. This is Yves. Hi.

It's okay. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Yves is helping me out painting the guest room.

Yves is marvelous and he walks Flaubert.

Doesn't he, darling? Yes.

He doesn't think that Flaubert's just a mere chien.

Well, you're not a mere chien.

Make friends, you two. Show her the real Paris.

[ Woman, In French ]

Wait, wait.

[ Yves ] There are people here who want America to control France.

They want us to watch cartoons, and they want to paint Donald Duck on everything.

And we are all supposed to drink Coke.

I don't watch cartoons or read comic books.

How come you do? You must like them.

You have an immunity to it from growing up on it.

Here it just sweeps through, like measles through the Amazon.

How weird to be culturally threatened by a cartoon.

I'm not threatened.

It's Uncle Edgar.

It's our relative. He's on TV.

Look, she's in love with him.

Now she's going to sit on his lap.

He does have a lot of sex appeal.

Oh, yeah?

I'll take your word for it. He's really old.

He's not that old. He's only 55.

How do you know that?

Is that what he told you?

[ Isabel ] Don't. I want to watch.

I've never known anybody who's been on TV before, talking about world events.

[ In French ]

You can't understand a word he says.

So, what is he saying? Abortion. He's against it.

He's against abortion?

It's all based on some very profound fascist philosophy.

It's also a lot of crap. Hey, I wanna watch it.

Isabel, give it to me. Come on. Isabel. All right.

Give it to me.

Ah, yes, sugar, please.

Oh! Original.

We do have a cousin who uses grains of sugar instead of cubes.

It has happened to other women.

They will all tell you, "Go with life as it unrolls."

Maybe it will be a boy.

Yes, a boy. A son and heir.

I can't believe this. I'm in a novel by Balzac.

I'm not sure if I wanna bring a child into a broken home.

You don't want to act hastily in such an important matter.

I'll get some more hot water.

Please reflect on this, Roxeanne.

Roxeanne is not herself. How can she be?

This is very, very unfortunate.

Deplorable.

So good of you, Isabel, to have come to be with her.

And I hear that you've already found employment.

Yes, I'm working with Olivia Pace, the American writer.

I really must get something of hers.

Who was she?

Was she German? Flemish?

Saint Ursula was the patron saint of all young girls, whatever their nationality.

How many virgins do they say were martyred with her?

Eleven thousand. That's a lot.

But it's a charming legend.

What are you doing? Didn't you hear her?

"Sugar grains. Original." Meaning how bizarre.

Meaning, "Why don't you have sugar cubes like a proper French girl?"

[ Silverware Clatters ] It's her fault too.

She's completely spoiled both her sons.

[ Clattering ]

You didn't tell me you were thinking of not having the baby.

Of course I'm having it.

I just wanted to shake her up, that's all.

[ Roxeanne ] My husband no longer lives at home.

[ Man ] You're the innocent party. You can file a suit.

I don't want to. It's all my husband's idea.

If Mr. de Persand took you to court, he'd need to make a case.

Violence, cruelty, adultery.

He couldn't possibly say any of those things.

No, of course not.

The offense is totally mine.

The injured party asks for divorce.

I keep telling you, I don't want a divorce.

I oppose divorce on principle, entirely and utterly.

There is also the question of division of property.

Unfortunately, you have signed a prenuptial agreement.

That complicates matters.

You are entitled to half of your wife's property, and Madame de Persand has the same claim on yours.

I don't want anything from the apartment.

Things that came from my family, perhaps.

I'll let my mother and brother decide... if there's anything that shouldn't go out of the family.

Your children are your family.

Things going to your children are not going out of your family.

I was thinking of things going to the U.S. I'm not going to the U.S.

I am staying right here.

When would remarriage be permitted?

Once divorce is granted, you're perfectly free to remarry.

But your wife must wait until she gives birth.

That's unbelievable. In California, I could remarry as soon as I wanted.

Do you mean to tell me that in France the law is different for men and women?

-For obvious reasons. -No, it isn't obvious to me. I don't want to listen to this.

It's not me who's asked for a divorce. I don't want a divorce.

And I really don't wanna see you, or speak to you or sit in the same room with you ever again.

Bastard!

** [ Woman Singing, In French ]

[ In French ]

During my research for an exhibition catalogue, I ran across a piece in the inventory of the estate of a Dr. William Walker.

Our father's uncle. Exactly.

Your uncle bought it in the 1930s in the Rue du Bac in Paris from a dealer... and it was still in the inventory of his estate... at the time of his death in 1979.

It then passed into the possession... of a Dr. Chester Walker of Santa Barbara, your father.

I tracked it down in the court records. Did I hear you say... the insurance value, when we ship it to the Getty, is $40,000?

Yes, at least that. Yeah. And to think, all these years... it's been hanging in total obscurity in our house in Santa Barbara.

God, Roxy, would you ever believe this would've happened?

See, what's so incredible to us at the Getty... is that no one here saw that it had any resemblance to La Tour.

The French are always so very quick to claim anything good as their own.

Hmm. Sounds like my husband and his lawyer.

Can you believe they're talking about division of property?

Oh, I'm usually the cautious museum curator, but I have a fair hunch... that this may be by La Tour himself.

Well, there are a lot of little things and they all add up.

If you see, there's his palette, his color.

See especially-- See how the light from the candle... shows through the servant's sleeve.

You see that, Roxy?

You see the light?

[ In French ]

My wonderful friends, thank you so much for being here today.

You seem to be having a good time. [ All Chuckle ]

Yes, but that is not why you're here.

This is a fund-raiser. I repeat:

[ In French ]

Now, as you all know, Action Alert is in its first year.

We've made wonderful progress... helping women in besieged countries the world over.

Today they're the victims. Tomorrow, who knows.

Because the world is ruled by hawks and arms dealers and minority phobias.

So, I hope you brought your checkbooks. [ In French ]

And if you didn't, please, empty your pockets of all your cash, ** [ Piano ] because you can always go home on the métro.

* Money makes the world go 'round *

* The world go 'round The world go 'round *

* Money makes the world go 'round It makes the world go 'round**

There's someone I want you to meet.

He is a lawyer who specializes in divorce.

Oh, no, please. His firm has connections with America.

I couldn't stand to hear another lawyer talk about divorce.

By consent, by mutual consent, by action.

Maître Bertram, Madame de Persand.

Her sister, Isabel. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Now, I have talked with Maître Bertram about your Saint Ursula, and he does not think it's a good idea that you send her to California.

Could I advise you?

If you were to send your picture to the Getty Museum, it might seem a trick to get it out of France... and that might jeopardize the rest of the divorce.

It could be interpreted as an act of bad faith.

What if I just rolled it up and took it in my suitcase?

You could invite charges that might lead to imprisonment.

That's out then. It would be an experience.

I don't think you'd like to experience a French jail, mademoiselle.

Nice to meet you.

If you need anything.

What's it like in a French prison?

At Fresne, they have uniforms designed by Yves Saint Laurent.

No. You're serious? Yeah.

They also have a full-time coiffeur.

How do you know all this? I visit a friend there. Kelly.

She's American too.

What is she in for? Drugs? No, currency.

But if you're really looking for a new experience, come to Action Alert on Thursday.

Every Thursday we ship supplies to the refugees your... sexy uncle Edgar wants to blow up.


How is Gennie? I miss her so much.

She misses you. She asks about you all the time.

I love her. And I love Roxy too.

I'm helpless, Isabel.

I know I am absolutely in the wrong, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Roxy should understand that. She's a poet.

Another artist with so much imagination.

I know this sounds romantic in the wrong sort of way.

It's just that it's inevitable.

I met the woman of my life and I want to be only with her.

[ Gibberish ]

Her name is Magda Tellman.

She's Russian, but she's married to an American.

I'm painting better than I've ever done in my life, Isabel.

I feel like for the first time I've arrived at certainty.

Not certainty. Certitude? Either one.

Aren't you going to make the introduction, chéri?

I'm Magda. Isabel Walker.

Roxeanne? Are you Roxeanne?

No, I'm Isabel.

Oh, you're the sister.

Yeah.

Are you a friend of Roxy's?

Yeah, you could say that. You could say we have something in common.

I thought I'd like to meet her, you see?

I don't think she's home.

I'm her husband.

I'm Magda Tellman's husband. The husband.

Tell your sister this message for me, will ya?

Tell her that I will never give Magda a divorce.

Never! Never.

Your sister can make her plans accordingly.

What? Excuse me? I've made mine.

That's her umbrella.

My umbrella!

I've seen him lurking about before.

I can smell guys like that a mile away.

[ Door Closes ] Hi.

Hi.

"We thank you for your submission, but regret that--"

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Roxy. Rox. Your poems are beautiful, okay?

And so are you. Oh, yeah. Beautiful.

I was never like this with Gennie.

Of course, I was in love then and we were gonna get married.

To hell with Charles-Henri.

Roxy, go out and get yourself a boyfriend.

Five months' pregnant. Have you lost your mind?

It will pass.

Anyway, you should get out of here now.

Mom and Dad want you to come home. I want you to come home.

And listen to all the I-told-you-sos? No.

Besides, my children belong here, and I belong with them.

It's Palou.

What's he saying? He's sort of a warmonger.

He's always got some moral reason for sending French planes out... to bomb places he doesn't like.

Ow!

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I'm all right.

Does he have a wife?

Edgar? Yeah, sure. Aunt Amélie.

Why do we never see her?

She's mostly down in the country with her horses.

They stay out of each other's way. I'm told they get along all right.

I like her. Mother would like her too.

What about kids? Twins.

[ Roxeanne ] Two boys. One at the Sorbonne, and one at Harvard Business School.

That's where Edgar went too. Come on.

Have a good time. Don't forget your hat.

See you later. Bye.

[ Edgar On TV ] You talk only of ideology.

Everyone forgets the suffering of this people.

[ Man On TV ] Mr. Rabourdin doesn't agree. [ Chattering ]

[ Cell Phone Ringing ]

Oh, hi. Hello? Edgar? Yes.

Monsieur Cosset, it's Isabel.

Ah, the other American. I saw you on television.

I just thought it was so-- so great, the way you stood up to those guys.

Well, I feel very passionate about the situation.

It's time someone spoke out.

But your French must be good if you can follow all that.

Well, I had a little help from Roxy.

Well, then why don't we get together so you can polish your French even more?

What about Thursday? Are you taken for lunch?

No. Do you know the Pompidou Center?

1:00. Up on the roof. Café Georges.

Bonjour, madame. Mr. Cosset. Yeah.

Bonjour. Hi.

[ Men Speaking French ]

Thank you. He might be a little jealous.

Say, "Bonjour, Edgar," not just "Bonjour."

Bonjour, Edgar.

That's a beautiful haircut. Thank you.

Is-- Is that Notre Dame over there? Right down there?

No, this is Sainte-Marie. Sainte-Marie.

Notre Dame is there. They are cleaning it again.

It's huge. One of the specialties is Salade de crabe.

I always order it. What about you?

I guess I'll have the rôti D'Agn--

D'Agneau. D'Agneau.

That's roast lamb, isn't it? Yes.

Hungry for red meat at all times.

That is not true.

Only once in a while, and not raw and dripping with blood... and butter and cream.

Just a good steak.

I really like this haircut. You do?

What happened to you? You said you'd be there on Thursday.

I should've called you. I had to take Gennie to her ballet class.

Yves. Yeah.

When you meet somebody, do you say, "Bonjour, Monsieur whatever"?

Or, "Bonjour, monsieur"? Or just "Bonjour"?

What sort of a stupid question is that?

There's another meeting next Tuesday.

Same time, same place. I'll be there. Tuesday.

125 Rue des Écoles.

Isabel, action! Are you alert?

Tuesday, remember? Action Alert. I told you.

Where are you? Are you lost?

Merci.

You didn't mind my changing our rendezvous to Tuesday?

Oh, no, no. I wasn't doing anything special.

Now... we must decide if you will become my mistress.

I've long since given up trying to lure young women to my rooms... on other pretexts.

I don't have any etchings.

What do you mean become your mistress?

It means we become lovers... and spend a certain amount of time together, like today, amusing ourselves.

I know you amuse me, and I think I can amuse you.

And there is the fact that I desire you.

You're a beautiful young woman.

Well, when do we begin? Or I begin, I guess I should say.

Whenever you wish. Very soon, I would wish.

We have to be awfully careful. We can't tell our families about any of this.

It would not have occurred to me to mention this to our families, my dear.

On the contrary.

Why did you do that to your hair? What?

Your hair. It makes you look like someone who reads Marie Claire.

Do you have any idea how much this cost? A cut and a color?

** [ Dance: In Spanish ]

[ Woman ] Is there something you like?

Um-- Ah!

It's silk. Charming, sexy.

Men love it. [ Chuckles ]

We also have it in black, red and purple.

Which would you prefer?

Um, I don't know. Blue?

Blue. And the bra, with support?

With no support?

Sandrine. Bonjour.

Bonjour. This is without armature.

Do you like that? Oh. Je ne sais pas. Both.

What's your bra size? I'm a 34.

34B.

It's, uh, very small.

Small. You're a French 85.

[ In French ]

[ In French ]

[ Continues In French ]

What do you like best? [ In French ] [ In French ]

What size do you like? Uh, small.

[ Continues In French ]

[ Doorbell Rings ] Why should anyone appraise our property?

You heard what he said about division of property.

I'm not gonna have people come trampling all over my home, which used to be your home too. [ Doorbell Rings ]

Anyway, what property is there?

There's the bureau, some china, my grandmother's plates.

And the leather sofa and your pictures and my Saint Ursula, which doesn't belong to me.

It belongs to my parents, who are lending it to the Getty Museum.

You mean you're sending it to California? Yes, of course.

Why shouldn't I? I thought it belonged to us.

[ Doorbell Rings ] I have to go. There's someone at the door.

Bye.

I'll get it.

[ Buttons Clicking ]

Antoine.

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

[ Knocking ] Yeah?

It's for you.

I spoke to Charles-Henri.

He says Antoine's sending appraisers to come look at our property.

Coming here? How awful.

And no one's even filed any papers yet.

It's like he just can't wait to get rid of me.

Just don't let them in, that's all.

That must have been expensive.

It was on sale.

They said it was last year's model.

It's called a Kelly, after Grace Kelly.

It was the sort of zillion dollar purse she owned.

You didn't buy that for yourself, did you?

It was a gift, and I did someone a favor.

Didn't anyone ever tell you not to accept expensive gifts from men?

Anyway, you should give it back.

Anyway, he wouldn't take it back.

And anyway, why shouldn't one accept an expensive gift from a man if he wants to give it?

Because it puts you in the position of having to do what he wants.

I'd do it anyway.

It's a present, Rox, not a payment or a bribe.

Then I suppose you can accept it.

[ Door Closes ]


Slow down. Slow down.

** [ French ]


Thank you.

Wow.

The famous "V." This is what we call mettre en valeur.

It means to highlight.

To show to advantage.

Very nice. Mm! [ Giggles ]

You don't keep a diary, do you?

Why? Are you afraid that it might be... read on television like the American senator's?

I have no fear of what you might write.

I only hope your literary style will be up to the French public's expectations.

You're not, are you?

There is a certain kind of tisane... made up of a mixture of, uh, orange, rosewater and mint.

It's to be drunk before making love.

What does it do?

It perfumes the juices.

[ Isabel Chuckles ]

That's something you would never have found out in Santa Barbara.

There are many things you would never have found out in Santa Barbara.

How much of the tisane do you have to drink?

A cup or just a tablespoon?

A whole teapot full is recommended.


[ Chattering ]

[ Chattering ]

Shh!

Come back for the reading. About a half an hour. Okay, I will.

Thank you. Good.

Oh, a Kelly.

You must have an admirer.

And he must be French and of a certain age.

[ Woman ] Such an honor to meet you. To Anne, please.

[ Olivia ] Anne? That's not yours. You didn't buy that.

You snatched it from some rich old lady.

[ Olivia ] There you are. So, what if I did?

I've read every word you have ever written.

Oh, my. To whom?

Mary-Louise. To Mary-Louise.

Thank you so much. You're welcome.

[ Man ] Do you use a computer?

No, I feel a computer intrudes between me and the naked experience.

There you are. Thank you.

You're welcome.

I think I've heard you make that remark before in a different context.

Ah. And you're still giving Kelly bags.

Do you still have yours?

Oh, I lost it long ago.

Years ago.

To whom? [ Man ] To my mother, Monica.

Hey. Hi. Aren't you staying for Roxy's reading?

No, I have to be at the Luxembourg at 8:00.

Is a purse of this kind really suitable to carry around a bookshop?

[ Isabel ] But it's so perfectly convenient.

It's so beautiful, why wouldn't I wanna wear it?

See you later. Okay. Bye.

[ Olivia ] Fine. Thank you very much.

[ Olivia ] Do you live in Paris? [ Woman ] Yes.

I'm still committed, but not to the point that I'd say--

[ Olivia ] Something like that.

[ Olivia ] Are you staying for the reading? [ Woman ] Oh, yes.

[ Clears Throat ] Is this where the poetry reading is?

Yes, my sister's reading from a new anthology of American women poets.

You don't remember me.

I'm Tellman. We met.

Oh, you're Magda's husband.

Thank you. Are you an admirer of American poetry?

No, I'm an entertainment lawyer.

Excuse me. You're a very beautiful woman.

Are you married?

No. Are you in love?

Have you ever had a puppy?

Yes. Did you love your puppy?

Yeah. What would you do if someone... tried to take your puppy away from you?

You know, I have a lot of things I have to take care of.

And thank you for your help. It was great.

What would you do?

Oh, my God. What was he saying to you? Who is he?

He's somehow connected to Roxy and Charles-Henri in a weird way.

He's weird.

You are smiling too much. Don't do that.

Too much smiling gets a girl in trouble.

But most of all, let me thank Olivia Pace, who is here tonight.

Ladies and gentlemen, bienvenue, welcome. Thank you for coming tonight.

We are very, very lucky to have as our reader...

Roxeanne de Persand, who, as you know, is a very fine poet in her own right.

And of course it takes a poet to do justice to the work of other poets.

You also probably know, and if you don't, you can read it in my introduction...

Buy the book! that for these last decades, our women poets have really come into their own.

But they have been always with us.

Right from Anne Bradstreet in the 17th century, whose beautiful poem of marital love, is one of those that Roxeanne is going to read today.

I have a question.

I think it's probably better to have questions after the poetry reading.

Come on. Let's go outside. We are planning to do that.

It's very important that I speak to her. It's urgent!

I have as much right to be here as anyone else.

Come on. More of a right.

This one's by Anne Bradstreet, and it's called...

"To My Dear and Loving Husband."

"If ever two were one, then surely we.

"If ever man were loved by wife, "then thee.

"If ever wife was happy in a man, "compare with me...

"ye women if you can.

"Thy love is such...

"I can no way repay.

"The heavens reward the manifold...

[ Mouthing Words ] "I pray.

"Then while we live, in love let's so persevere.

"That when we live no more, we may live ever."

[ Applause ]

I have something to bring up that is a little delicate.

My son Antoine has surprised us all... by suggesting that it would be improper... to send the painting of Saint Ursula to that Getty Museum in California.

Not until the lawyers have decided on its ownership.

Its ownership?

Saint Ursula belongs to our family. We inherited her.

My dear, we shouldn't even be discussing this.

It's entirely up to the lawyers.

But it is a French painting after all.

Poor Charles. Oh, my son has a league of troubles of his own.

Roxeanne's lawyer is very determined.

And the husband of his petite amie is very unpleasant.

Well, shall we say, these are the wages of sin.

[ Clock Chiming ]

She had a Hermès bag. Red crocodile.

A Kelly bag? It's obvious where it came from.

I know my brother. Faithful only to Hermès.

If ever he was faithful. And I know his type.

Permanent smile, little white suit, fancy undergarments.

He adores that. Your imagination is carrying you away.

At his age! Doesn't he get tired of this?

Charlotte, honey, call Amélie, for once.

No, Mother. Call Aunt Amélie yourself.

She'll think I'm angry. Mother? It's me.

We'll both call her, as representatives of the family.

But we should call Edgar first, shouldn't we?

Remind him that a member of our family has acted--

Badly. Towards a member of her family.

With this divorce on our hands, if he gets involved, we all suffer. I'll tell him.

[ Horns Honking ]

[ Arguing In French ]

[ Phone Ringing ]

Oui? Edgar?

Are you alone? Yes, I am. Why?

Is the American there? You mean Roxy?

You must mean the other American. Yes, Isabel.

Mother said she's showing off an expensive Hermès bag.

Uh, a bag you gave her. You know, with Charles-Henri's divorce--

What are you getting at? It's unseemly. That's what Mother says.

Tell your mother to call me herself.

If you prefer.

Are you alone? Yes. Why?

Is the American with you? I said I'm alone.

Good, then listen to me.

Seducing the daughter-in-law's sister now.

Why not now?

Your nephew has acted like a lout with her sister.

How is that my fault? I'm thinking of the family.

Custody, division of property, alimony payments.

Consider what you're doing.

We'll see you on Sunday, I trust. Good-bye.

Voilà.

Saint Ursula belonged to our great-uncle, who left it to our father, and your family has absolutely no say in it.

Who is Saint Ursula? The patron saint of schoolgirls.

The painting doesn't mean a thing to your family, except to be split 50-50 in a divorce.

We're not going to quarrel, you and I, about Roxeanne's ugly saint.

I've told you a purse of this kind is not suitable for every occasion.

I'd suggest a small, black evening bag.

You can talk about everything else. My evening bag?

Then go on TV, talk about religion, morality, sex. [ Applause ]

Why not about money?

Is money an unmentionable subject with you?

Shh.

** [ Man Singing Opera ]


No, it's not a La Tour. It's obvious.

"In the manner of" at the very best.

Of no interest to us.

I may not be a specialist, but it's not obvious to me.

If the Getty Museum sees the resemblance to La Tour, how can you be so sure?

Why would we supplement our collection of French paintings... with family heirlooms from an American Attic?

It's of no interest to the Louvre... at all.

It's just so tacky. Charles-Henri taking Roxy's painting.

I would never try to take something from him that he grew up with.

Oh, sorry. I'm very sorry.

I didn't mean it. I'll get it.

Why are you doing this now?

Couldn't you have at least waited till her baby's born?

Well, there has to be a valuation before there can be a division and sale.

You'd think Charles-Henri would wanna have his kids... have the furniture and the painting, not some strangers buying them.

He's just being a terrible shit.

Or he's getting bad advice.

Charles-Henri has left this up to me.

You then are being a terrible shit.

And if it really were a La Tour?

That would be a different matter.

But you have a nice commode, Louis XV-XVI.

How much is it worth? About 50,000.

More if it's stamped. Let's pull it out and check.

[ Isabel ] Just get rid of him, Roxy.

[ Roxeanne ] Let him divorce me. I can't stop him.

But I will never divorce him.

I'd think you would want to be free of him.

And let him marry his slut? No.

You have a choice.

You can accuse Charles-Henri of adultery and make him pay what he should.

Why did we have to meet here?

You always liked to come here and watch Gennie on the carousel.

Of course.

But I didn't realize it would be so cold.

You know, I've been thinking about names.

What do you think of Henri-Luc?

Is it a boy? Did you have one of those tests?

No, I'd never do that.

It's like peeking at your present before Christmas.

Roxy, you should know this.

The lawyers say that if you don't agree to a mutual consent, no-fault divorce, you might not be allowed to use my name.

And our children? Naturally, they would be de Persand.

I have to have the same name as my children.

French court usually awards custody to the French parent.

You can't do this.

You can't destroy your own family.

It is you who are destroying me.

After everything you've said about freedom of the individual to live and love.

It was only words with you. Empty words.

Yes, it was.

I didn't realize that when you really love, there's no freedom at all.

Except to die.

Come on. No more dramatics, please.

Just think about what I told you.


[ Bell On Door Jingles ] Bonjour.

Bonjour. Do you have this in blue?

Is blue denim okay?

I'm Magda's husband. Magda. You know, the other woman.

She's screwing your husband.

Don't be another dumb American bitch. You should do something about it.

Excuse me. If you don't, I will. We could do it together.

Go away. We could do the same thing they're doing.

We could screw each other!

Come on!

Stay away from me!

[ TV, Indistinct ]

Roxy.

Hey, Rox.

Roxy?

Rox?

Hello?

Hey, Rox. Ro--

Roxy. Roxy?

[ Sobbing ] Roxy?

Oh, my God. Roxy.

Roxy!

[ Chattering, In French ]

It's good. It's good.

[ Chattering, In French ]

[ In French ] Sorry, we're full. We have to hurry.

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ In French ]

I just thought...

I needn't take any more of this.

And what about Gennie?

What about everyone in Santa Barbara?

Of course they'll blame me, and they're absolutely right.

God, I should have looked after you better.

That's what I'm supposed to be here for.

Not to pursue some love life of my own.

No. That's what I want is for you to be happy.

Even if I'm not.

Baby's fine. Did they tell you?

And he's kicking like hell. [ Knocking ]

So beautiful.

[ Sniffs ] Mmm. Thank you.

What do you think of the name Henri-Luc?

For the baby? Mm.

Um, Bertram.

A women's thing. Something to do with the baby.

No, not a miscarriage.

I'll call you back.

Hugues. Mm-mmm.

Thibault? I don't want any of those kind of names.

[ Knocking ] Matthieu.

Maybe just Luc is better than Henri-Luc.

I'm still thinking about names.

Any ideas?

I don't know how you could do this to all of us.

Could you not at least have thought of the baby? I did.

I thought... do I really wanna bring him into this world?

Into a broken home?

So now, like everyone else, you're blaming me.

No.

I blame myself... for coming up with the wrong answer.

Oh, look at that color.

I should have brought you some.

I thought of it, but I was so terribly upset.

It's too bad.

I'm sorry.

I'm not defending Charles-Henri. He has behaved badly.

Like a lot of husbands.

But leaving a pregnant wife... is in bad taste.

The bad taste was to marry her.

Those girls are not like us.

We can't teach them savoir-vivre, good manners.

They find it ridiculous. They only trust their instinct.

Their feelings. And where does it lead?

Uncontrolled emotions. Desire.

And now my idiotic brother... is fooling around with the sister.

She's also capable of slicing open her veins.

It's not my problem. It's his wife's.

I have my hands full with Charles-Henri and his American.

I expect the worse from his Cosak.

Charlotte, you know how to behave.

It's a question of self-control.

How I hate letting oneself go!

At least you don't end up in the hospital.

Rog. Roger. Hey!

Oh, wow! Hey. Welcome to France.

Is! You look great! Where's your aunt Isabel?

You look so French. Hi, Daddy. I do?

Oh! Oh! Oh, my God! Hi, honey!

Hi, baby.

Look at you!

Oh, my-- How is she? How's Roxy?

She's fine. Yeah?

Just don't talk about it. Please don't remind her. Just forget it ever happened.

I'm gonna forget that my daughter tried to kill herself?

All right. That's why I'm asking you.

Is looks like somebody out of Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down.

I wouldn't know. I never saw Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down.

My God, you're huge!

Darling. You look great.

Champagne, please. Champagne.

[ Roger ] Diet Coke, please. [ In French ]

[ In French ] That's alcohol. You're pregnant.

I'm not forbidden to drink. French pediatricians tell you just the opposite.

Is tourtière some kind of turtle thing?

No, it's a baked dish. Like a quiche but better.

The tourtière is the actual dish they bake it in.

What's the legal angle on the painting? Where do we stand?

In division of marital property, Roxeanne's ex-husband can claim one half, and that includes one half of whatever is her share of the painting.

There'll be five of you claiming it, after all.

One can make that case in a French court it's communal and not marital property.

The first thing we have to do is get an estimate of the value of the painting.

Can you drink the tap water here?

This isn't Istanbul or Cairo. Why is everybody drinking bottled water?

For the same reason they drink it in California, Roger.

Yeah? Yeah.

Let's get some bottled. Monsieur, can we get some eau?

Avec gas? Merci. Du l'eau, s'il vous plaît.

Well, we certainly do not want anything of ours going to Charles-Henri.

You know, it's funny, but I never trusted him.

Never mind about that.

But come on, when we all first knew him, he was beautiful. You said so too, Mother.

"Like Orpheus, his stubbled cheek, a field of gold."

You said that? Yes, I did.

Could we be serious and just talk about the painting for a minute?

The painting belongs to Roxy because she cared enough about it to take it with her.

She had our blessings, as in everything. Right, Margeeve?

I don't think we should sell it.

I think we should lend it to museums. Everyone can see it.

We can still keep it with our name on a golden plaque.

No way. Can't you guys see-- I mean, the situation has completely changed now.

Why, because it's worth more money than you thought?

Well, that is a consideration. I mean, right now, we're a family of five.

But one day, there'll be more of us. There'll be kids and so on.

No one wants to deprive them of their inheritance.

Roxy's the only one who has kids now.

Roger, marry one of those girls you're forever moving in with. They all seem terribly nice.

[ All Agreeing ] It's so not even what we're here to talk about.

Come on, Roger. Give it a whirl. Please.

Of course Saint Ursula belongs to all of us. I never thought of her as just mine.

You know that, Roger.

She was always there, hanging above the sofa, watching all of us.

Yes, with a disapproving face, inhibiting us from whatever we wanted to do on the couch.

I suppose that's the way of all saints in the presence of human frailty.

Let's say we divide the proceeds of the sale among the five of us.

How do we get around Roxy's husband?

Even if he claims one half of Roxy's share, I'll make sure it comes back in alimony and child support.

-Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful? -[ Chester ] Just kidding.

[ Roxeanne ] As it is, I can't get a cent out of him.

In all fairness, everything he has is tied up in family trusts.

And with his paintings, he earns about as much as I do with my poetry.

I was even thinking of getting a job.

What? [ Scoffs ]

We'll have to stake claims for monthly payments.

I'll need you to sign papers. I'll stop by the office.

No, I'll bring them to your apartment tonight.

French lawyers are so nice.

Can you imagine an American lawyer dropping off some papers at night?

No, I can't.

[ Speaking French ]

[ Isabel Ordering In French ]

How do you want that cooked?

Could I just get a steak au poivre and a salade verte?

Très well. Very well done. All right.


Oh, my God! The tip must be included, yeah?

Well, you leave something, anyway.

No. That's the whole point of having the tip included, and it's 15%.

Just leave 20 Euros.

Well, maybe in a simple place, but in a place like this where you pay a fortune for lunch--

Nearly $900, I might add.

Goodness. Thank you, Roger.

It's all I have. The three of you are so gorgeous.

Three peas in a pod.

Roxy's all mine. Margeeve had nothing to do with her.

No, not much. Just raised her since she was two.

Thanks, Rog. Thank you.

Oh. I love that purse. I want to go to that store tomorrow.

It's Hermès. Not on Chester's salary.

How did you afford it? She got it in a sale.

Do you wanna borrow it? You can.

There's been some repainting.

Ursula's left hand has been damaged.

It's quite possible the canvas has been cut down a bit on the right side.

Also, the handmaiden's face looks a little weird to me.

Is it a La Tour?

What estimate? No estimate yet.

I think the owners are deciding whether to sell at Drouot or Christie's in London.

When we thought it was coming for our show, we put an insurance value on it of 40,000.

There must be something wrong if it's being sold modestly and with no fanfare.

No problem with the export license? The Louvre has passed on it.

I do think Lorraine, around 1640.

[ Woman ] I don't know.

If I may play devil's advocate, the figures lack the weight, the monumentality of a La Tour.

Has your saint been fasting?

I don't think it would hurt for you guys to take a look at it.

Let me say straightaway that I think your picture is superb.

Marvelously beautiful. Thank you.

Now, what do you suppose an oeuf fermier might be?

Just boiled eggs, do we think?

Only in France would they serve boiled eggs with such panache.

Such effrontery, you might say. [ Orders In French ]

I've explained the legal situation. Believe me, Christie's is used to much, much worse.

'Course, everything is worse when the French are involved. Hmm? Hmm?

I think I'm going to go for the liver with the pommes mousseline.

Why don't you have something more cuisiné? You don't have lunch in Paris every day.

You know what they do wonderfully? The best is the pintade au cerfeuil.

And they do it with chestnuts. It's excellent.

Really? Hmm, that's a thought.

As to wine, I used to do wines, as a matter of fact, before I moved to old masters.

You know, they say the real wine experts are all English.

Yes, well, the French are distinctly faddish about wines, aren't they?

They overlook the most amazing vintages.

I suppose we ought really to have Château La Tour. Huh? Appropriate.

Well, to my mind, your picture is from La Tour's best period, though not the period he's best known for.

But, in my opinion-- La Tour.

Up until now, that hasn't been the general opinion.

No, but suppose you're a museum... and wanted very badly to acquire a Renoir, say, that some local people had found in an attic.

Well, you have to think of the psychology of the situation.

I mean, you're hardly going to tell the seller he has a Renoir, are you?

The price would go out of sight. You'd end up paying a great deal more for it.

So, museums, to preserve their integrity, often say they can't be sure.

See? And what do you think?

I think your very fine La Tour would, in a competitive bidding, achieve a very fine price.

More than one person will know its value... and our catalogue will state the case correctly.

What kind of price range are we talking?

Perhaps a million pounds. Million and a half if we're lucky.

Christie's will advise a reserve, which means it couldn't be sold for any less.

See, Christie's, obviously, has an opposite point of view to the museums.

Like you, we would want to sell for the maximum price.

We can be competent of our attribution and we know the market.

Thank you. Oh, hey, Dad.

Chester Walker, this is Mr. Janely from Christie's. Professor.

Mr. Janely. Mr. Janely is sure that it's a La Tour.

Really? A million, Dad.

A million pounds, not dollars.

That's a lot of money. Yes, to some people I suppose it is.


[ TV, In French ]


[ Chattering, In French ]


He was much younger then, but otherwise he's the same.

[ Isabel ] You mean, personality-wise?

No, I think I mean character-wise.

I mean, there was always something about him.

Worldly, knowing, a bit famous, a bit old, which I suppose could be sexually magnetic.

Especially to a young person, it's like fornicating with God.

Where do these pretty things come from?

Usually we beg in front of Dior or St. Laurent... so that rich women on shopping sprees can expiate their sins.

Why don't you just put that in the miscellaneous file for now?

I don't think we need it in Tulsa.

[ Isabel On Phone ] So, you won't be coming to Suzanne's lunch on Sunday?

What can I do? This conference was fixed up long ago.

I have to leave now.

I'm in the middle of packing.

Don't you wanna meet my parents? More to the point, would they want to meet me?

I'm hardly the desirable young suitor they might have in mind.

[ Isabel ] Don't you wanna see me? Naturally.

But if I don't leave now, I might miss my plane.

We'll meet on my return.

Please make my apologies to your parents.

Good-bye, sweetheart. Bye.

Do you really think it's the best idea for you?

One hardly has a choice, Roxeanne.

You know that.

Well, I used to think so, but... actually I found it's not true.

You know, this morning I wrote a poem about the phalarope.

You know those water fowl that bow as they swim along?

The most polite birds in the world.

Very stately.

Bowing as they swim along, to no one in particular, just in courtesy, in gratitude.

You totally lost your mind.

[ Roxeanne ] They think of Saint Ursula as part of my dowry.

Dowry? Where do they get "dowry"? What are we, in the Middle Ages?

No, France.

Don't expect them to talk about any of this at lunch.

They talk about every taboo thing under the sun.

But money? Never. Never.

I wish we could stop talking about it too.

[ Roger ] I don't want to eat anything weird.

I want to tell you...

Aunt Amélie will be at lunch today.

Uncle Edgar's wife.

She has been summoned.

[ Isabel ] What am I supposed to do? Fight for him?

To say I love him and I'll never let him go?

Do you think he's worth it?

But of course you Americans are known to be fighters.

You might even fight for something you don't really want.

I don't like Sundays.

[ In French ]

I'd have spotted her in a crowd of thousands.

[ Suzanne ] Oh, hello, Margeeve!

Hello. Hello.

Isabel.

And this is my sister-in-law, Amélie Cosset.

Nice to meet you. Pleased to meet you.

Chester. And Roger. Oh, Roger.

I was forgetting you. How was the trip?

It's a privilege for us to be welcomed here... in your country, in your family, in your beautiful home.

Oh, the privilege is all ours.

I'm sorry that my husband isn't here with us today. Not to mention mine.

[ Suzanne ] My brother Edgar, he's invited to many international conferences.

I believe he's in Belgium today. Presumably. I no longer ask.

We love both your daughters, Roxeanne and Isabel.

They're both so practical, so sensible.

Roxeanne and Isabel?

We think of the French as practical, rational.

Voltaire and the Age of the Enlightenment.

Thermidor. But not our girls, I'm afraid.

Not much rationality there.

I hunt. Hunt?

Do you hunt? No. What do you hunt?

The deer. The deer.

I guess you shoot them. Oh, no. Birds are shot.

But the deer we hunt with dogs. It's very beautiful.

The horses, the dogs, the hunters in their coats.

The cleric comes to bless the dogs.

The idea is to run the noble stag to the ground.

He becomes exhausted and can no longer run.

What happens after that? Then the dogs kill the stag.

We have the expression "another kill." That's what that refers to.

Do people ever get killed? Fall off their horses or something?

Well, not usually, but it can happen sometimes.

Oh, good. So it evens out the odds a bit.

I suppose the moment's come to say never would I have imagined... when I left Santa Barbara with just a few mementos of my own--

This Beaufort is not right.

It's off. It has a smoky aftertaste.

It's inedible. It's not right. Don't take it.

[ French ] Oh, this Beaufort is not right.

[ Suzanne Continues In French ]

But all is not lost. The Reblochon is perfect.

Help yourselves. [ In French ]


The Beaufort really was disastrous.

Yes, but the Reblochon was excellent. Do you agree?

Oh, everything was excellent. You have such a beautiful house.

And you run it so beautifully. I really could take lessons.

Oh, you are too kind.

There is something a little delicate I would like to mention... while the others are not here.

And I really feel we can talk together quite freely as mothers.

[ Amélie ] And quite intimately as friends.

Where is it? Tomber.

I got it. Tomber. "To fall. To throw, as in wrestling.

To fall to the ground. To tumble."

God, four years of French, I can't remember a thing. Tomber. Tomber.

That's what Suzanne de Persand called her brother.

It is an older man taking advantage of a young girl.

And guess who's the young girl.

It's our own flower-- Isabel.

Oh, don't give me that "this is my life" stare.

It is her life. That's ridiculous. I don't believe it.

Have I met him? No, neither have I. Oh, wait. It gets better.

Then his own wife says that we must save Isabel from being hurt... by a man who is, and I quote, "A little unscrupulous... where young women are concerned."

That's your fault. She's got that daddy complex thing.

Nonsense. I've seen plenty of our students... falling for their old professors or someone, but those girls were all weak and clinging types.

Everything that Isabel is not.

Does the fact that our families know spoil it for you?

No. I was thinking of you.

And of your wife.

Inhibiting perhaps, but not absolutely fatal.

We will ignore what they told your mother as if they had not told her.

I'll be going to Concepción for a couple of months to help with the negotiations.

Can't I come with you?

Sweet.

Will you still want me when you come back?

Isn't it your Emerson who said, "Every hero becomes a bore at last"?

I have to go and get dressed.

It's getting late. Will you lock up? Mm-hmm.

** [ French ]


Hello, Edgar.

Good to see you.

Oh, very nice.

Do you like that? Mm, ça va.

Are we both on the same errand?

Are we both buying gifts?

Could it be for the same person?

Mine is a thank you, farewell gift, because she's just finished helping me with all my papers.

What about yours?

Mine is only a thank you gift.

Didn't you give me a scarf too?

At the end, I mean.

A purse at the beginning, a scarf at the end.

Your situation was quite different.

You were not-- forgive me-- a vulnerable young person.

Oh, no.

I was older and married and divorced and two children.

You were worldly, experienced and already famous.

[ In French ] [ In French ]

It wasn't very difficult for you to forget me.

Yes, I forgot you.

Not the tears I shed for you.

[ In French ]

May I?

[ In French ] Yes, it is charming.

Why don't we both give her the same scarf?

Then she can come back and exchange it and get what she wants.

Good idea. I'll take it.

Me too.

Good. Good.

[ Olivia ] I never actually married a Frenchman. All my husbands were American.

Only the lovers, as you know.

To me, a lover, someone I truly love, would be more important... than somebody I happened to sign a marriage certificate with.

Lovers are a pastime one tends to outgrow.

A hobby... that finally becomes a bore.

You mean, in the end, "every hero becomes a bore"?

Emerson.

Someone quoted that to me... when he was trying to extricate himself.

It suits you.

** [ Singing, Indistinct ]

** [ Singing Continues ]

[ Whistles ]


[ Bells Tolling ]

We're not just buying tampons and lipsticks, but all kinds of products-- shampoo, moisturizer, eye shadow-- you name it.

We're planning on buying three new trucks if all goes well.

And we're thinking of calling ourselves the Saint Ursula Foundation, in honor of our patron saint.

What do you think? Wait.

Would we be tax exempt? I have so many other questions.

What about my question?

My divorce hasn't gone through, as you well know.

So far, nobody's filed a single paper yet.

I don't know what the delay is.

Come on. I can hardly take up with a new husband... before the old one's disposed of.

[ Police Radio Chatter ]

What's going on? Someone died.

Who? They won't let us in.

Let me through. I live here!

[ Man On Police Radio ] Shooting at Futurama.

A man fired at his Russian wife and got away.

He is American. A crime of passion.

There are no crimes of passion in America.

They all kill for money or drugs.

[ Police Radio Chatter ]

What's your perfume? "Honteuse." By Charmez.

I like it.

Very subtle.

[ Margeeve ] You'll have your own money now. You can do whatever you want.

But as far as I'm concerned, my favorite thing in Paris is this purse you gave me.

Well, it suits you better than me.

Yeah, it's too middle-aged for you.

And too ladylike, I might add.

[ Tellman ] Stop. S'il vous plaît. Stop.

I apologize. You must have done this a thousand times. Never.

Okay, sweetie. The boys begged me and then they gave up.

Excuse me.

[ Woman On P.A., In French ]

[ Man On P.A. ] The Eiffel Tower, created at the turn of the century... by engineer Gustave Eiffel.

[ Man ] Hey, that's my foot.

[ Guard, In French ]

Who's the guy you let by?

He said he lost his wife. Okay.


[ Man ] What's he doing?

He lost his wife. He's running after her.

Are you sure he's not running away?

He's in pretty good shape.

By the way, how are Celine and the kids?

They're fine.

Then I went to the garbage cans.

Do you know who it is? I won't go back!

There's a man's leg sticking out.

What's going on?

Some guy who lost his wife.

He's pretty high-strung.

By the way, how are Celine and the kids?

They're fine.

Here he comes.

Something's up. I'm alerting the guards.

There's a suspicious man on the loose, looking for his wife.

He's tall, early 40s, blond, with a Burberry-style raincoat.

[ Speaking Japanese ]

Yea!

[ Gennie, In French ] [ Screams ]

[ Woman Yelling In Japanese ]

He has a gun! Armed man on the Eiffel Tower. I repeat, armed man.

What am I looking at?

Oh, there. Goodness! I warned him.

I gave him a chance to stop. I warned him.

All units! Secure the third level!

The door is blocked.

Calm down. Drop your gun and unblock the door.

Keep your cool.

Stay calm. Don't hurt them. We're here to help.

Where's Roxeanne? Why isn't she here?

I have to explain it to her. I have to tell her why I did it.

Is she coming?

Should we wait for her?

[ Man Continues On P.A. In French ]

[ Man On P.A. ] Please respect others. We repeat--

I loved Magda. I loved my Magda.

Magda's his wife. Now look at me.

Look what I've done.

Did you hurt your wife?

She deserved it. So did he.

The caretaker identified the body.

Who is it?

Mr. de Persand. I'm sorry.

That's impossible.

My husband hasn't lived here in months.

Just sit here for a while.

I'm a little tired.

If you give yourself up, you can ask to be extradited to America.

Where's Roxy?

Listen, when you get home, all they'll do is order a psychiatric evaluation.

I need to see a therapist.

Oh, no!

How-- How did he die? Tell me!

Maybe you can tell us. We need to know.

[ Groaning ]

Let's go to the station. It's quieter. Mr. Bertram can come along.

Can't you see she's in labor? Help her.

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Gunshot ] Mama!

He put it down. [ Tellman ] Just get rid of it.

Put it in your bag and throw it overthe side so no one will ever find it.

Throw it over the side. You'll hit someone with it!

Hey, Mom, hand me your bag.

Will you please tell Roxy that I'm sorry?

Why won't people let me talk to her?

[ Chattering In French ]

[ Isabel Narrating ] Tellman got to see a therapist all right.

He was sentenced to 20 years in one of those nice French jails Yves told me about.

And when Edgar came back from his negotiations, we had the last of our fancy private lunches.

So, you'll be staying in Paris then?

I resigned from the commission. I can't be so far away and leave my sister alone.

And Roxeanne? The baby has been very comforting.

Roxeanne and Gennie are crazy about him.

Guess what.

Loaf of Bread Press wants to publish an entire collection of Roxy's poems.

A poet and a widow.

You're aware that in France a widow is a hallowed person.

What about a mistress?

She's, uh, tolerated.

And adored.

Isabel, you're young, you're beautiful, you're wise.

And, as we said before, I'm much too old for you.

[ French ] Car is waiting to take me for a TV interview.

It's live, which is always stressful.

In a heated moment, I may say something that later I would regret.

Yeah, that is stressful.

The driver could drop you anywhere. Come on in.

You know, it's true.

You are too old for me.

But we had a pretty good time.

Of course.

And think of everything we learned from each other.

For example, how beautiful it is to be young.

[ Isabel Narrating ] So, good-bye, Uncle Edgar, and good-bye, Kelly bag and Edgar's other gifts.

I'm sure he's still buying Kelly bags at Hermès for other dumb girls like me, but I got over him.

So, I took Suzanne's advice to go with life as it unrolls.

Prends la vie comme il vient.

[ Man, In French ]

You've arrived.

[ In French ] [ People Bidding ]

[ Man ] Next up is lot 51.

[ Man ] Georges de la Tour. La Tour.

A lapse of attention on the part of the Louvre.

Yes. It's come in now.

The saint's hand has been repainted, as has the servant's face.

The top of the painting was trimmed, as was the right side.

Do I hear two million?

[ Man ] Two million. Two million. I have a taker.

2.1 million.

2.2 million. 2.3 million.

2.4 million. 2.4 million.

2.5 million.

Two million, five.

2.7 million.

Should we come in at three? Three million.

She's come in now. Three-four.

3.6 million. We're in at three-six.

Three-eight. 3.9 million.

We're at four. That's our ceiling.

Four-three. We've passed our ceiling. You sure?

4.5 million.

At four-five. Are you sure?

It's your last chance.

It's hers. It's hers.

Can't win 'em all.

[ Man ] Congratulations.

[ Yves, In French ]

[ Isabel ] What about taking my foot?

It means, "Did you have fun?"

Of course. Didn't you?

Who would have ever thought "taking my foot"... means "to have fun in bed"?

C'est ridicule.

You'll have to stay and learn better French.

C'est ridicule. C'est ridicule.

C'est ridicule.

[ Isabel Narrating ] Roxy said she'd had enough of marriage for a while.

There's your mother-in-law.

Roxeanne. Suzanne.

But she changed her mind, and she and Bertram did get together.

You remember each other. Bonjour.

[ In French ]

[ Both, In French ]


** [ Woman Singing In French ]