Leap Year (2010) Script

Morning, gentlemen. Feet.

So happy you're here.

This is the third open house and not one bite.

Well...

Don't worry.

I have everything under control.

Anna, you are a realtor?

I'm a stager. I stage apartments for realtors.

I transform ordinary spaces into something special.

Most people don't know what it is they want until l show it to them, and so many places need my help.

Oh!

Not the Davenport, of course.

It's just a very fine line between elegant and dowdy.

I just think maybe a quarter-inch higher.

Plus an eighth of an inch? We'll get it right.

Ow!

You did that on purpose. Knock it off.

As I'm sure you're aware, apartments at the Davenport don't come up very often, and we have more than our share of applicants. So, why you?

I have lived in Boston my entire life, and l have always dreamed of living here.

And thankfully, l have found somebody who shares that dream, and l can assure you that you will not find two people more in sync with your exceptionally high standards and, if l may be so bold, your taste.

Thank you.

Wow!

With a bit of luck, we might get some offers.

Come on, Charlie.

You know it's not about luck. It's about preparation.

Put these in the oven half an hour before you open and you'll have five offers before noon.

No luck needed.

Okay, say it with me. Three bedrooms.

Three bedrooms.

Concierge. Concierge.

Full gym and swimming pool looking over the common. L mean, come on!

Don't get cocky.

Why, you don't think they liked us?

I like us. Don't you like us?

We're okay. All right. Okay.

Here we go. Ready? And...

Ugly! Excuse me?

Not you, sweetie. It's Mr. sheinbaum e-mailing me updates of his double bypass.

I'm glad l skipped lunch.

No, no, no, this is good. This is good, because this way l don't have to go in. We can go to dinner.

Studio apartment, two offers already.

That's 'cause you're a genius.

Have you packed yet? Your flight's at 11:00.

I'm fine, just you don't be late.

We've got an 8:Rez and they're strict.

When am l ever late?

When your dad comes out of the woodwork demanding to see his daughter, that's when.

I have to go, jer. I haven't seen him in weeks.

Okay, just wouldn't want you all riled up for our very special dinner.

You know l don't like surprises.

You'll like this one.

See you.

Oh, Anna, this is gonna blow your mind!

What'd you buy?

A lot, l got a lot, but that's not it.

I wanted to tell you something.

Guess who l saw coming out of deprisco's?

Who? Jeremy!

You did? When?

On the way here.

The cab was stuck in traffic and l look over, and he's walking out of the store carrying that little red bag. The bag.

There's only one reason people go into deprisco's.

You're gonna have a better engagement ring than me, you big jerk!

Oh, my god. Did you know?

No. L mean, l did put his name on the mailing list a couple months ago hoping he'd get the hint, but...

Oh! He got the hint! I think he got the hint!

Okay, hold on, we gotta work on your surprise face, 'cause l don't want him to know l told you...

Okay, ask me.

Ready? Will you marry me?

What? Are you scared? That was awful. Try it again.

Okay. Try it again.

Mmm...

Bigger eyes. And maybe a little, "who, me?"

The good news is, you have time to practice between now and then.

Can l marry you?

No, thank you.

Already married, huh?

Getting engaged.

Engaged? Dad.

My daughter is engaged?

Garcon! Champagne!

Let's have a couple of beers, banana.

I'll get them.

You're gonna be married.

Jack Brady. Import-export, real estate. Glad to meet you.

She's been four years with the guy. What was he thinking?

I proposed to her mother after a week!

I proposed to her after half an hour.

Exactly!

Where's the lucky guy?

Packing. He has a cardiology convention in Dublin.

It's a good thing that Jeremy finally came around.

You might have had to follow him to Ireland this weekend.

It is leap year, you know.

Dad, do not tell that story again.

Why not?

It's a family myth.

It is the honest-to-god truth!

That's what grandma Jane did to grandpa tom.

They'd been dating for a while and he was dragging his feet, so she finally suggested they pay a visit to the old country.

February 29th, Dublin, Ireland, she hits him with it.

Boom!

Ring on finger, signed, sealed, delivered.

Well, I'm not going to have to pull a grandma Jane.

That's my girl. I'm finally going to get some grandkids.

Dad, I've got to go.

Mmm-mmm. No, l just got here!

Yeah, well you were late. We said 7:.

Oh!

I'm just happy that we want the same things.

You know, you always have it figured out for us.

I mean, even with my crazy schedule and...

You know l appreciate it, right?

So...

So this is for you.

Jeremy.

They're earrings. Yeah.

For my ears.

Oh! Sorry.

Oh, god. Dr. Sloane. Hey, bill.

Oh! Sounds like you're gonna have to go in from the spine.

Send me a photo. I'll have a look. Okay? All right. Sorry.

Why don't you try them on?

Oh! Sorry. Sure.

Yikes. There's an aorta to write home about. Look at that.

Honey, not here.

Yummy.

So, l...

It's not gonna work.

I'm so sorry, Anna. Bill says l really "aorta" go in.

Look, he actually wrote that. He wrote "aorta."

So I'll pick up my bag and just go straight to the airport when I'm done.

Forgive me?

Of course. Okay.

I am so sorry. I love you.

I love you. Love you.

All right.

You "aorta" run.


It's a good thing that Jeremy finally came around.

You might have had to follow him to Ireland this weekend and pull a grandma Jane. It is leap year, you know.

"Leap-year proposals are an old folklore tradition

"that dates back to the 5th century."

Sure.

In Ireland, there's this tradition that in a leap year, a woman can propose to a man on February 29th, one day every four years.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

That's ridiculous.

Are you traveling on business or pleasure?

I'm going to propose to my boyfriend on leap day.

Are you now? Congratulations.

Thank you.

Jeremy, my boyfriend, is already there on business.

We've been together four years. Four years.

It's a long time.

It's not like I'm rushing anything by doing this, you know.

He bought me earrings. Don't get me wrong, they're beautiful, but earrings don't exactly say commitment.

Not that commitment is an issue.

I mean, we're buying this apartment together and it's perfect.

I know exactly how I'm going to change it.

We're just gonna knock down that wall.

You see? If we open up the kitchen a little, l think it flows better into the dining area.

Just creates a more free overall...

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

It looks like there's a spot of bad weather up ahead, so we may experience just a little bit of turbulence.

I'm getting engaged. I'm getting engaged.

I'm not gonna die without getting engaged!

This is your captain here again, ladies and gentlemen.

I may have underestimated the storm just a little bit, but I'm afraid we are being diverted to Cardiff, wales, as Dublin airport has been shut down.

What?

Once landed, ground staff will be happy to book you onto connecting flights in order to get you to your final destination.

Wales? No, we can't land in wales.

At least we're landing.

Yes, but I'm on a schedule.

Excuse me. Yeah, l need to get through.

Cardiff, wales airport regrets to announce that due to inclement weather, all flights today have been canceled.

I'm sorry, there's nothing very much l can do about it.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, could you move?

There are no more flights until tomorrow.

No flights until tomorrow?

Tomorrow, madam.

Tomorrow.

I think that's what l said. Didn't l, beryl?

That is what you said.

Well, no, that's not going to work for me.

Look. I'm going to Dublin to propose to my boyfriend on the 29th, leap day.

It's an old Irish tradition, and l need to buy a dress and find a ring and book a restaurant.

So, between us girls, l think you can see why l really need to be there today.

Oh! Right. Right!

Beryl, will you ring Dublin international airport and get them to open a runway especially for madam?

Right away.

We regret to announce that all commercial passenger ferries to Ireland have been canceled.

Will all passengers booked for the crossing to ringaskiddy please report to the information desk?

Hi. I'd like a ticket to cork, please.

Ferry's canceled.

What is wrong with this country?

I usually blame the government, but this one's the weather. Storm, see?

Well, we'll just see about that. I'll find my own boat.

We're going to have to go in to dingle.

But l paid for cork!

Okay. Dingle will do.


You can take the man out of the fish, but you can't take the fish out of the water!

That a good one, dekko?

Hello.

Are you open?

Australian.

South African.

Actually, she's American. Anna, from Boston.

I just need someone to tell me how to get to Dublin from here.

Is there a bus, maybe?

1987.

I'm sorry?

The year the last Dublin bus left dingle.

No, no, no. The train stopped running in '87.

The bus stopped running in 1989.

It was 1987.

Okay.

Is there a taxi service or something?

Perfect. Thank you.

My battery's going to die any second.

Ma'am.

Oh, thank you.

Hello there.

Hello.

Hello?

Hello. Yes, l need a taxi to Dublin.

Yeah, where you calling from?

I'm in a funny little pub called the carack or, l don't know, caragh?

Carahg?

Whatever.

We don't drive American redheads.

What do you mean you don't drive American redheads?

How do you know the color of my hair?

Of course. You're the taxi driver. Well, l need you...

L need you to drive me to Dublin.

Dublin, is it?

Mmm.

Well, I'll tell you something about Dublin, Anna from Boston.

Dublin is a city of chancers and cheats and backstabbing snakes.

It's where the worst of humanity collects to poison this fair country.

I wouldn't drive you to Dublin if you were to offer me 500.

Jesus! I'd sell me wife for 500!

Trust me, you'd have few takers.

All right. Anyone else want to go to Dublin for 500?

I'm your man, missus!

It's bad luck to start a journey on a Friday.

Saturday. It's bad luck to start a journey on a Saturday.

Tuesday!

No, it's Sunday, to be sure.

Fine. It's late.

I'll just find somebody to drive me in the morning.

So, if one of you can direct me to the nearest hotel?

Or bed and breakfast?

Of course. Of course. This is also the hotel.

Bathroom's down the hall. You have to flush it twice. Seriously, twice.

Just like the four seasons.

Okay.

I noticed a menu on the bar?

It's closed. Closed.

But given the famous Irish tradition of hospitality and generosity...

I'll do you a hang sandwich.

What's a hang?

Hang is a verb. It's not a sandwich.

It did die. Of course.

Huh!


There we go.

Hey, the lights are gone!

Oh, Jesus, the lights failed again.

Women!

It's over now.

For the love of god.

What the hell you doing?

Plugging something in.

Give me that. It's personal.

You fried my BlackBerry.

You fried the whole village! Idiot!

Jackass.

You're here in Ireland?

Yeah.

I wanted to surprise you, but it's turned into a complete disaster.

At this point I'm just glad somebody knows where l am.

I mean, seriously, you have no idea what passes for a hotel out here, or common courtesy.

I can't wait to see you.

Well, l can't wait to see you, either.

Well, when will you get here?

I should be there this afternoon. L just need to get a cab.

Great surprise, honey. I love you.

I love you, too. Bye.

Sorry, Declan, you've had plenty of time to pay your debt.

But I'm almost there. I'm down to the last of the bloody interest.

Come on, tommo, be reasonable, would you?

You can't take the blessed kitchen!

You'll put me out of business!

The whole lot, or the kitchen goes in the back of the Van.

Give me a month.

A month? A week.

A week? God!

Ten days, 900, guaranteed.

A thousand, dekko.

That's the old interest right there.

The interest on the interest on the... oh, man.

Ten days, 1,. Okay. Okay.

You'll have it. You have my word.

Done.

Later. All right, lads.

Come on, then, let's do it. But only 'cause you're desperate.

I'll drive you to Dublin.

Will you get out?

500, like you said. Yes or no?

You're not a fan of Dublin.

You've made that very clear, so l won't inconvenience you.

It's not inconvenient at all.

What part of "get out" do you not understand?

A simple yes or no will do.

Yes, you can drive me, now...

Good. Be outside in 10 minutes.

God!

Naked here!

By the way, it's 100 for the room, and that includes the vandalism.

I'll leave you to it.

Naked here.

There you are, Bob. Hop in.

Please tell me that that is the car that is taking us around the corner to the actual taxi.

I'll have you know that is a Renault 4. She's classic!

Worst fears confirmed.

She's rock solid right there! Beautiful. Come on.

None of those fancy airbags to get in the way.

Don't listen to her. She knows not what she says.

Do you mind?

Ah! Sure.

Thank you.

How does that work?

Can you be careful with that? That was a gift from my boyfriend.

He bought you a suitcase?

It's a vuitton.

What?

A Louis vuitton?

Come on.

Is it yourself, Louis? Can l give you a hand getting into the car, Louis?

She named her suitcase. She's a crackpot.

You can't go now, missus.

Why not?

A black cat just crossed your path.

You can't start a journey when you see a black cat.

Ten years bad luck.

No, it's not a cat, it's a magpie.

Anyway, it's 1 5 years bad luck.

Thirteen!

It's 12, definitely 12.

Then l guess it's a good thing l don't believe in luck, so...

Well, you ought to, if you're getting into that, you.

Safe journey.

May the road rise up to meet you.

See you, lads!

Good luck, Declan!

Bye, now.

I tell you something, they'll kill each other!

Okay, we're here, on the road.

Uh-huh!

It's only February 27th. I still have two days to get there, so...

Mmm-hmm.

Where are we?

I may even get there before the stores close. L could get some shopping in.

That's the reason you're going to Dublin, is to shop?

No, I'm...

Lf you must know, I'm going there to propose to my boyfriend.

He's at a medical conference there. He's a cardiologist.

We are applying to move into the most amazing apartment, and l actually thought he was going to propose to me the other night, but he didn't.

Yeah?

Yeah, and you guys have this great tradition that a woman can propose to a man on the 29th of February in a leap year.

Yeah? Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

So l thought, "why not?"

Yeah!

Yeah.

I mean...

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!

No, it isn't.

Yeah, it is.

No, it's a tradition. It's a romantic tradition.

It's a day for desperate women trying to trap themselves a man who clearly doesn't want to get married.

You've got to know that if your man wanted to propose, he'd have done it already. Fact!


No one touches the music!

Are you crazy? You know nothing about me or Jeremy!

You know what you are? You're a cynic.

You're a lonely, bitter cynic.

Better that than an idiot. "Leap year, diddly-eye!

"Will you marry me, diddly-eye?

"I've got a suitcase called Louis, diddly-eye!"

What are you, the lucky charms leprechaun?

You know what? We are done. We're not talking anymore.

I'm not paying you to talk, I'm not paying for your opinion.

I'm paying you to drive, so just get in the car and drive.

Suits me, Bob.

And what is with this Bob thing?

Aren't you going to do something?

I am doing something. I'm waiting for them to move.

For god's sake.

Hi, cows.

Look, l have spent the past 24 hours in every level of hell, and l am not going to let your black and white asses drag me any further, so if you know what's good for you, you'll move.

It comes as a real shock to find out that you speak fluent cow.

Now!

That's right. Nice cows.

Let's move. Let's move along. Come on, cows.

Why don't you propose something to them?

Yeah, you guys are... Wow, you're big.

We're gonna just...

Oh, yeah, they're moving now.

Must be your personality.

Yours is a bit more repellent, so if you want to try...

That's right. That's how you get things done.

That's it, girl!

That's right! That is how you get things done.

You don't just sit around like some backwoods Irish bumpkin.

You're welcome.

You might want to just watch your step.

$600 shoes.

Put them in the wash, they'll be grand.

Put them in the wash? The wash?

You do not put these shoes in the wash.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Stop! Whoa! Wait!

Stop it! What do l do?

Get in the car and use the brake!

Baby! I got you, baby! L got you!

Baby!

Don't hurt yourself!

Make it stop! My purse is in there!

Oh, darling. Oh, Jesus.

My Renault 4! Look what you done!

What I've done?

You couldn't just wait for the cows!

You couldn't just help me?

It's gonna cost at least 200 to tow her out.

That's not gonna come out of my pocket. It's coming out of yours!

Oh, like hell. You will have to kill me before l pay you a dime!

There's an idea.

Where you going?

Dublin.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Look, this is an easy fix.

All we need to do is find a phone, call the garage, get a tow, hop in the car, back on the road and we'll be in Dublin in no time.

Just cool the jets, would you?


Wait! Hey!

I wouldn't get in there if l was you!

And l care about your opinion because...

Fine, go ahead.

All right there, sweetheart? Hi.

You looking for a ride?

Yes, I'm going to Dublin.

Oh!

In Dublin's fair city where the girls are so pretty yes. Now there's a coincidence, 'cause I'm going there myself.

Let me help you with the old suitcase there.

That's very sweet of you.

Not at all.

And l didn't even have to ask.

Top of the morning to you!

Oh! Morning.

That's a fancy bit of suitcase, no mistake.

It's quality. You can see that just by looking at it, you know?

Mmm-hmm.

Well, I'd say it's been a pleasure, but l think we both know that...

Wait. No! Wait! Wait! Come back here! You can't just...

They...


There you are.

Soon as l finish this, I'll call us a tow truck.

Us? There is no us.

I am calling a real taxi. You leave me alone.

Okay, Bob.

Excuse me.

Eoghan?

Eoghan.

Oh!

Do you have a phone, please? Please?

Thank you.

Safe home.

Yeah, yeah.

So nice of you to look after my suitcase, but I'll take it back. Thank you.

Is that right, missus?

I'll call the American ambassador.

Oh, is this his?

Well, l just...

L...

Fun's over, lads.

Give the girl her stuff back.

And who the hell are you?

Nobody. Just keeping the peace.

Yeah? Well, you can keep your peace out of it.


That was

impressive.

Ow!

Out.

Fair enough.

Hi. L just...

Should just get my things and go.

Must be something special.

Who?

Your fella.

Oh!

Jeremy. He is.

He's...

He's a cardiologist.

Hi. When is the next train to Dublin?

You're just in time.

The next train leaves in two hours and 43 minutes.

Great.

It's a few Bob to Dublin, mind.

"Bob"?

Cash.

Money. You know?

Mmm.

Hey, fella.

Ballycarbery.

Mmm. Same to you.

There. Ballycarbery castle.

It's one of the 10 wonders of Ireland, so I'm told.

Can only be 15 minutes to the top.

I don't want to miss the train.

Yeah, well that's a good point. Don't miss the train.

No.

Only two and a half hours.

Time is going to fly.

I'll stay here.

Suit yourself.

I will.

Hi.

Hi.

Declan?

Wait! L love castles.

It's beautiful.

I'm sorry you're not gonna get to Dublin before the shops shut.

I have other interests besides shopping.

I have a life. A job.

What do you do, then?

I stage apartments.

Stage apartments, now that's...

That's...

What's that?

Well, when somebody is selling an apartment or a home, l bring stuff in and make it look as beautiful as it can look.

And they get to keep all the stuff when they buy it?

No, l take it away. I'm just presenting them with the possibilities.

I put a sheen on it.

Hang on. So you do your job, yeah?

Yeah.

They buy the house, yeah?

Yeah.

And then you come along and you take all the stuff away again, yeah?

Yeah.

You're a con artist.

No, I'm not a con...

That's just so typical of you.

You think the worst of everybody.

No.

Oh, no? I'd love to know who you have a good word for.

I can think of a couple of good words for you.

Riddle me this.

If your apartment's on fire, your beautiful apartment, what would you take?

What?

If your house was on fire and you had 60 seconds, what would you take? Come on.

L...

Come on. Would it be the chihuahua on the duvet?

I'm not playing this game with you.

There you are.

What would you take?

What would you take? Your lovely inn is on fire.

Hmm.

What are you going to take? You know, your...

Flames coming up the stairs. You've got 60 seconds.

Oh!

The bottles of alcohol in your pub are exploding.

What are you going to grab?

I know exactly what I'd "grab."

Oh, yeah? What?

Not telling you.

You can dish it, but you can't take it, can you?

It's really...

It's a castle!

Told you.

So what's the story with this place?

Well, hundreds of years ago, there was this beautiful girl called grainne.

Now, she was promised in marriage to this fella called fionn, who was kind of a cranky old warlord, old enough to be her father, old enough to be her grandfather, and therefore she wasn't in love with him.

Anyway, on the night of their betrothal, whom did she meet but a handsome young warrior, diarmuid.

They fell madly in love at first sight, but what could she do?

Well, she slips a sleeping potion in everyone's drinks, and the pair of them run off together across the Shannon.

Fionn wakes and there's grainne gone. Well, he goes mental.

Takes his army and heads off in hot pursuit.

But it was the people, you know, the people in the villages of Ireland, they took pity on diarmuid and grainne.

They hid them in forests and in their barns and castles, where they'd sleep one night and then they'd move on.

Come on.

Is it safe?

Of course.

Sleep was all they did, 'cause diarmuid, good man that he was, was suffering the old guilt about two-timing fionn and out of respect for him, didn't, you know, take it any further.

I get it. Oh, yeah.

And then they came to this castle and this view.

Wow.

And 'tis said, you know, that, unable to resist such beauty, that here, in this place, they...

They consummated their love.

Oh, my god. You're hitting on me.

I'm what?

I'm the young woman on the Eve of her engagement that can't resist a handsome stranger? Oh, come on.

I'm what?

You didn't honestly think that was gonna work, did you?

Don't flatter yourself, darling. The story's true, but it sure as shite ain't about you.

No? No, you arrogant...

Arrogant what exactly?

Well, that's a tough one. Is it American?

Oh, no. The train.

Wait! Wait, l have a ticket!

I'm very...

You just had to take me up there, didn't you?

One of the seven wonders of Ireland!

Okay.

Oh, no.

Well, that speeded things up a bit.

I hate you.

In the old days, l could have held it for you, but it's all "time is money" nowadays.

Come on, now. Come on, and don't be worrying yourself.

We'll get you to where you want to go.

Forecast said sunny.

Here we are. The best little b8b in tipperary.

Come in. Come in.

Look what the cat dragged in.

Oh! My poor dears.

You're lucky, so you are.

Just half an hour ago, l had two backpackers at the door wanting the room.

But they weren't married.

Admitted it right out. No shame.

So l sent them packing.

Right is right, rain or no rain.

Hmm.

So, it's Mr. and Mrs...

Brady. O'Callaghan.

Bradycallaghan.

O'bradycallaghan.

We're not long married, and it's still quite a mouthful for an American.

I come from a long, long line of dingle o'bradycallaghans.

We're praying that one day we'll be able to have a son and heir to help keep the name going.

Anna, Declan to you.

Lovely. Now, let's get you to your room.

Thank you.

After you, petal.

Thank you, sunshine.

Would you like a hand with the bag, pumpkin?

Well, you're not sleeping in that bed with me, Mr. o'bradycallaghan.

Maybe you're not sleeping in the bed with me.

Very gallant. Gallant?

Welcome to the age of equality.

You lot wanted the vote. Live with it, darling.

Comfy.

We'll flip for it, darling.

Okay, fair's fair.

Heads l win, tails you lose.

Heads.

Heads it is.

Shame. You can sleep in the bath.

It's a shower.

You can sleep in the shower.

Fine.

Just so long as l don't have to sleep anywhere near you.

I'm washing in the shower getting mud off love hot water got a bruise there got a bruise there wait a minute. You lying, deceiving son of a...

Get up! Get up. Get up.

Whoa! What?

Oh! "Heads you win, tails l lose."

You finally got that, did you?

Good for you.

Up! Get up! This is my bed. Liars forfeit.

And take a shower.

You smell.

Mmm-mmm.

You can see right through the curtain.

Can you?

Can you?

Okay, liars forfeit, liars forfeit!

No peeking.

Come in.

Hello, dear. Everything all right?

Now, for dinner we've got tripe. Homemade. Family recipe.

Tripe.

Nothing like a bit of cow's stomach on a rainy day.

Yum. Did you hear that, darling? Tripe!

Right, tripe.

I was thinking, Mrs. o'docherty, to thank you for taking us in on such short notice, why don't you let me cook?

No, darling, l couldn't.

Oh, you could. He's a chef. He's very good.

It's true!

Really? Well, that's gas.

We've got two Italians staying, as well. Would that be okay?

No problem at all!

Thanks a million.

Good call.

What the hell are you doing now?

This recipe says three medium carrots, and l just think this one is a little large to be classified as medium.

And if you look at these two, they're clearly medium, while this one is slightly...

Watch.

Three medium-sized carrots.

You know, l don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be precise.

Okay.

Well, then you must be very, very precise.

Here's an idea.

Why don't you stop trying to control everything in the known universe?

It's dinner. Have a little faith.

It'll all work out.

Heard that one before.

Well, maybe you should have listened.

Really? You think?

It'll all work out. My dad was the king of "it'll all work out."

Time shares in the Bahamas, mobile video stores, whatever the next big nothing was, all our money went right after it.

But don't worry. It'll all work out.

Cut to me working two part-time jobs after school and us getting our house repossessed on Christmas Eve. Ho, ho, ho.

So you will forgive me if l don't listen.

I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

A father's someone you should be able to rely on, you know?

Anyway, dinner.

We have got cabbages, a leek, three medium carrots.

You're not one of those vegetarians, are you?

No.

Good.

Declan one, chicken nil.

Sweet.

Coq au vim?

What?

Give me strength.

Don't start telling me that you've never had chicken stew before.

Of course l have.

I'm wondering where it is that you think chickens come from.

The freezer section.

I know, l know. L...

You just surprised me.

You keep doing that.

Give me the carrots.

Yes, carrots.

Sorry.

We build up the temperature a little bit.

You don't need to chop them. It's hard to hold.

That smells amazing.

Good girl. And...


So this is what you call staging, is it?

Sort of.

Not too shabby.

Here? Yeah.

Impeccable.

The chicken was wonderful.

Wasn't it? And I'm usually awful at chicken.

Jeremy always says l make it too dry.

Jeremy?

Oh!

Jeremy. Our...

Our next door neighbor.

Who sometimes comes by for dinner.

Right, Declan?

Mmm. Yeah, yeah. He's a lovely old soul.

Yeah.

A little bit learning difficulties, you know.

Tells everyone he's a cardiologist. It's a scream.

But he's a happy chap, you know.

He's got a little thing, bless him, for her.

Antique, frank?

Antique, yeah. Like me.

Wedding present, they were.

It's only 44 years, you cheeky rascal!

See? That's what it takes to be married for 44 years.

The kiss.

Always kiss like it's the first time and the last time.


Grand.

Well, come on then, son.

Show us old ones how it's done.

Sorry?

Well, I've kissed my wife.

Stefano has certainly kissed his wife.

No, we're fine. We did it earlier, kiss.

Done and dusted.

A bit of chivalry, man. You know what I'm saying?

Oh! That's perfect.

If that was a kiss, I'm surprised you're still wed to him at all.

No, no, they're shy, that's all.

Yes. Really shy.

You're among friends!

You're young, married, in love!

Anyone can see that.

Damn it, man.

Kiss the girl!


Brayo! There you go.

Now that's a kiss!

It's quite wet.

Show a little mercy, would you?

All right.

But one snore and you're back in the shower.

Great.

Who'd have thought it'd take two days to get to Dublin?

I have to charge you an overnighter, by the way.

Surprise.

100. Fifty.

Seventy-five it is. Running total 675.

Fine. If it's all about money for you, then 675 it is.

Good night.

Night.


I'm so sorry I'm not there yet.

You can't imagine what I've been through.

Worse than when they lost our luggage in Barbados?

Like that times 10.

I just... l just can't wait to see you.

Well, maybe this will cheer you up.

I just heard from the board, and we got the apartment!

What? Yeah.

I just got off the phone with Edith. It's ours.

Ah! Jeremy!

That is exactly what l needed to hear this morning.

Everything is working out for us. I'm so excited.

We'll have to celebrate in person when you get here.

We sure will.

Hurry up already. I miss you.

I miss you, too.


Morning.

Yeah.

Oh, is this for me?

Yeah.

Morning, lovebirds!

Sleep well, did you?

Yes, thank you.

So, what's on the agenda today, then?

Mmm. Off to Dublin for me.

Well, you can't do that now.

Why not?

This is Sunday.

Never start a journey on a Sunday, or a full moon.

Oh, well, l don't believe in that superstition stuff.

How are you on train timetables? Do you believe in them?

Sunday.

No trains.

No trains? No.

Oh! For god's sake.

I have to be in Dublin by the 29th. That's tomorrow.

Why is that again, darling?

Fine. Okay.

Frank, you have a car, don't you?

Oh, yes. Yes.

Okay. L could...

L would be willing to pay you a substantial amount of money if you would maybe drive me.

No.

Oh! It's not the money, girl. It's Eileen.

She's got it. Gone to mass.

Then the weekly shop, you know.

Okay, well, then when she's back, you...

She won't be back till all hours.

Why?

It's a fair old jaunt to Dublin.

Where is she?

Dublin.

Bingo!

What?

Bus station's that way.

What?

Knock it off.

It's hailstones.

Are you serious?

Ow! Run!

Come on. It's fecking Murphy's law with you.

Come on!

I got Louis. Don't worry.

Ow!

Those sting!

The size of golf balls!

Jesus Christ!

Is lord.

Have you any just cause or impediment why this man and this woman should not be joined together in holy matrimony?

No, no, father. You carry on.

I'm sure that they know what they're doing.

Good. In that case, you're very welcome. Why don't you sit down?

Come on. Dublin. We should be making tracks.

No. The priest is gonna give us a ride to the bus station when it's over.

We can walk!

I'm not walking another four hours in these shoes.

Besides, look how beautiful it all is.

I kind of hate weddings.

Why? Because people are in love? That's so offensive to you?

Yeah.

You know, you have all of these random opinions and a bad attitude.

What do you know? You're clearly not married, and you have obviously never been engaged.

Actually, l have.

Once.

I don't want to interrupt a good party, but l want to say thank you to my husband.

I want to say, may you never steal, lie or cheat.

But if you must steal, then steal away my sorrows.

And if you must lie, lie with me all the nights of my life.

And if you must cheat, then please cheat death, because l couldn't live a day without you.

Cheers!

Are you all right?

Grand. You know, it's just hot in there.

Do you want to talk about it?

Listen, Bob.

You're not in America now.

You're in Ireland. So, have a drink.

Shut up.

I was just trying to help.

Help? Yeah.

That's hilarious.

The woman who's so desperate, she's diddly-eying her way to Dublin, making the most important decision of her life based on some ridiculous tradition, which, frankly, is a load of old poo.

So, thank you, but it's not l who needs the help, okay?

It is not a load of poo.

It's romantic.

It's really, really romantic.


I'm not good at weddings.

They're better with a couple Martinis.

Okay, thank you very much!

We're going to do a special request now for the bridesmaids.

Want a go?

No. No, l don't... L don't riverdance.

Do you never let your hair down, woman?

Yes.

In my way, l do.

Good.

Now, this is an easy one. You'll pick it up. Just follow them.

We're going in a circle going that way.


No, no, put me down!


I'm really sorry.

I was spinning.

Forget about it. At least it wasn't my husband.

Yeah. Right. At least it wasn't him.

I'm...

L thought l was bad at weddings.


Aren't you supposed to be taking me to Dublin?

Well, just tell me when. As ever, your servant awaits.

You know what, Declan?

Do you know what you are?

Mmm-hmm.

You're a beast.

You're a real

beast.

Hmm.

And l cannot stand you.

Really? Mmm-hmm.

But you know what?

I'm onto you.

Is that right?

All your beastishness is like...

It's an act.

It's a great, big, massive cover-up.

And you growl and you snap, but you are in...

You're in pain.

And you've got a...

You've got a big Thorn in your beasty paw.

Like a lion.

A lovely, lovely lion.

Great. I'm sorry.

That's romantic.

Up you come. Up!

God, you're a lump.

My suitcase!

Don't worry about Louis. I'll get him.


You're joking me.

Perfect.


You can deduct the coffee from my bill.

Deduct away. Don't forget to add on for a new pair of shoes,

pukey.

Put them in the wash, they'll be grand.

You missed your bus.

There's another one in 20 minutes.

Oh, god. Am l still coming with you?

I am paying you to take me to Dublin and you're taking me to Dublin.


That's fine. Thank you.

He's out.

I left a message with the front desk.

So, Dublin.

Right on time.

So l suppose l should pay you.

I suppose you should.

There'll be an at the hotel.

Right, so I'll be portering again, will l?

Not if you don't want to.

I didn't say that.

We can get a cab.

You've got legs, haven't you, woman?

My best feature, so I'm told.

Who told you that?

It's a beautiful city.

And l haven't seen one backstabbing snake.

Yeah, well, it's the chancers and cheats that you have to watch out for.

She's here, isn't she?

In Dublin. One of the chancers and cheats.

The blonde in the photo.

Who was the guy?

Oh!

So him and her...

Right.

Sorry.

We were all running the caragh together, me, Kaleigh, Ryan.

So we bought the pub and built it up from nothing.

We really got it going. I mean, we were flying.

And l thought that me and Kaleigh were mad for each other.

Apparently not.

So that thing I'd grab if l had 60 seconds, it's my mother's claddagh ring.

You know, the ones with the two hands holding the crowned heart.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, she's got it.

Well, you're here now. You should find her and get it back.

I don't know.

It's your mother's ring.

Anyway, l thought it was your ring we were meant to be worrying about.

Diddly-eye.

Oh, yeah. Right.

Well, I'm glad to see you're finally on board.

It has nothing to do with me. I'm just the old bag carrier around here.

Why should l care?

So you don't?

Would it make a difference?

Come on.


So.

So.

Here. Nah, it's okay.

Declan, take it. We had a deal. Please?

Tell you what. Why don't you just give me that one Bob and we'll call it a day?

Which one Bob?

The one we flipped for the bed.

Yeah.

Liar.

Well, best of luck. Yeah.

So long, Louis.


Anna.

Yes?

Anna! Anna!

Hi! Finally. God.

I thought l was gonna have to call a helicopter rescue team to come get you.

Where have you been? Hi. Hey.

Long story. Sorry.

It's good to see you.

You okay? Yeah? Mmm. Yeah.

Hi.

I'm sorry, do l know you?

Oh!

Jeremy, this is Declan. Declan drove...

He helped me get from dingle to Dublin.

Oh! Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, l don't envy that job.

This lady is not big on adventure.

No.

Nice to meet you, bro.

Nice to meet you. Yeah. Yeah.

So did she take care of you?

Did you tip him?

Oh!

She paid me.

Great. Well, thanks for getting her home safe.

Oh, god, l missed you! I missed you! L missed you! L missed you!

I missed you, too.

No, l really missed you.

I did. And...

And it got me thinking.

Why aren't we married?

Will you marry me?

Are you serious?

Am l serious? Yeah. Well, I'm down on my knee. L...

L got this.

No pressure, but it's all on camera.

Sweetheart. Sweetheart.

Sweetie?

L... were you supposed to give me an answer?

Yes. Of course.

Yeah? Yes.

Okay. Let's try this on.

Ah! It fits!

I have champagne waiting in the room, so we should go on up. Great.

Thank you.


I never thought I'd see you in Dublin.

Declan.

Kaleigh.

There you go. And there's pints. They're on the way.

Thank you! You are saving the pub.

You're keeping the pans in the kitchen. I will kiss you later.

Congratulations! Hi!

Let me see it!

Wow.

Mmm.

Dekko.

Tom. There you are.

You're short.

But not by much.

Sorry. Come on, lads!

Oh, my god, look at this place!

Do you like it? Do l like it?

I want to throw you out of your own window and take it.

Hold on a minute there.

You can show us the color of your wallet for a change.

That's all.

Drinks on the house!

I feel like your whole happy ending is gonna be a real test for our friendship.

I'm pretty sure she would have been happy with just this apartment. I don't think you needed to propose.

Oh! It was kind of a package deal.

Really? What, buy an apartment, they throw in a ring?

More like the other way around.

What do you mean?

Well, l think it was Edith, from the board.

She called me in Dublin, probing about our marital status.

Can you believe that? Nothing specific, just interested, you know?

Like the residents, they're kind of old-fashioned when it comes to issues like this. Blah, blah, blah.

I got the message. Married, you're in. Unmarried, you're not.

So l just said we were hours away from getting engaged.

I just said it and it came out.

And l don't know where it came from, but l could almost hear them cutting our keys.

So l put down the phone and thought, "well, "why the hell not, you know?"

Really? Sure. L mean, we'd have gotten around to it eventually, right?

Right. Of course. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, Libby, l want to show you this view.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's gorgeous. Okay.


Is that the fire alarm? Really?

Okay, everybody, l guess we'd better take this party downstairs.

The phones.

Where is the remote for this thing?

These things are useless without the remote. Anna!

Do you have everything you need?

Can you just look around for valuables?

For laptops, cameras, whatever.

I think the cameras... Okay, here's the video camera.

I still haven't put the proposal up on Facebook, so let me get that.

Oh, sweetie, can you get the...

Anna?

Anna?

We have one minestrone soup, two quiche, one pie beef, one pie chicken, one green salad. Go, go, go.

Dekko? Uh-huh!

A customer said the chicken's dry.

The what's what?

The chicken. It's dry.

It's a pie.

It's delicious.

Alex, you're in charge. Don't blow anything up.

All right, which one of you bollockses thinks my chicken's dry?

You?

You?

Me.

What the hell are you doing here?

Could you maybe be nice for just a second?

I did fly 3,miles to get here.

Is Jeremy with you?

What? No! No.

Jeremy and l... It didn't work out.

Sorry.

J well when my 60 seconds came around, l realized l had everything l ever wanted but nothing l really needed.

And l think that what l need is here.

And l came all this way to see if maybe you might think so, too.

And if you do...

Well, l don't really have any plans past that, which is new for me.

So, Declan o'Callaghan, and l should probably learn your middle name, here is my proposal.

I propose we not make plans.

I propose we give this thing a chance and let it work out how it works out.

So what do you say?

Do you want to not make plans with me?


I guess that's an Irish no.


Mrs. o'bradycallaghan.

Where the hell are you going?

You said no.

I didn't say no.

I didn't say anything.

You walked away.

I was getting something.

Really? That was a good time to go get something?

Well, yeah, it was, actually.

I was getting this.

You big idiot.

I wouldn't be holding this ring if it weren't for you.

I reject your proposal.

I don't want to not make plans with you.

I want to make plans with you.

You do?

Yeah. L do.

Will you marry me?

In all my life, l never thought I'd see you down on one knee.

Yeah, it's getting a bit damp down here, so...

What's it to be, Anna from Boston?

Yes.

Yes, l will.


I'm so relieved. For a minute there, l thought l wasn't gonna have a place to stay tonight.

What?

You think you're staying with me?

This might cost you.

Put it on my bill.

Would you look at that!

On a Sunday, no less. It's good luck to get engaged on a Sunday.

And end a journey.

Aye, and dig a well.

Idiot! Do they look like they're digging a well?

You know what I'm talking about.

I never know what you're talking about.

Are you sure she's gonna make it?

Remember, she's a classic.

And she's good as new, even after some crazy woman tried to push her off the road.

I didn't try to push her off the road!

I was scraping cow poo off my shoe

'cause some rude man wouldn't help me with the cows.

Only because someone was being pigheaded and couldn't wait.

Shut up.

There you are.

Right.

Where to?

Just drive.

You got it, Bob.

Wait a minute. Where's Louis?

Louis? He's fine. Strapped him to the roof.

You strapped him to the roof? He'll get filthy up there.

Don't worry.

We'll throw him in the wash. He'll be grand.