Les gamins (2013) Script

Let's hear it for the bride and groom!

How much d'you want to lick his armpits?

A little song that I'm very fond of since it's called I Love You.

I love you I L-O-V-E Y-O-U

You love me Y-O-U L-O-V-E M-E

Let's give a big hand to Thomas who just performed a song he wrote himself.

Thank you.

Now let's hear it for the newlyweds, Jeanne and Sébastien!

Cute little song.

Children love it.

Thank you.

How much d'you want to wear that dress for a whole week?

Got a light?

The old lighter trick. I know it. A classic.

Don't worry, you're not my type at all.

So what is your type?

I don't know...

Blond, blue eyes, fairly muscular, elegant, with dimples when he smiles. And rich, with property.

That's me to a T.


That's tough because you're not my type.

I like tall, busty blondes.

I'm really not tempted.

No misunderstandings then.

I'll take your number in case I really have nothing to do one evening or for a pal...

An ugly one.

One date with you, I'd get nauseous.


Well... I shit on you!

I went a bit far there?

It's true!

Rich folks' kids are better looking?

You bet. Rich guys marry beautiful women.

Beautiful wives mean beautiful kids.

Bullshit! No, it's logical.

My parents aren't rich, so I'm not beautiful?

You're no hottie, true.

Next time, warn me I'm about to kiss a troll.

François Hollande's double David Guetta's double


Explain all this.


I had a ton of work this weekend.

Was this that urgent?

I want to meet your parents.

Just like that?

Damn, that's for us.


Here. They won't search you.

What is this? What's in it?

I'll explain.

You're scaring me!

Good evening.

Please get out of the car.

Of course.

And the lady...

Do I need to search her too?

Here we go.

So what's this for?

Lola, I know what a burden I am.

I lie around the house, I work nights...

But I'm going to grow up now.

I want to meet your parents. I want to marry you.


Will you marry me?

You goddam maniac!

Yes, I'll marry you!

You'd have ratted me out!

Hi, honey! Hi, Mom.

You must be Thomas.


You wear nail varnish now?

Is it ok if I call you Tom?


Hi, Dad!

Hiya, sweetie.

That's her father.

Glued to the TV.

The joy of my life!

Good evening.

Hi, kid.

He sold his firm, see.

He's bored.

Most NGOs don't have skills in drinking water and drainage.

We work closely with specialized companies.

Even if we subcontract, we follow each expense.

We're in Haiti, Chad and Côte d'Ivoire.

The footage is familiar but don't...

I mean, people imagine...

Water for Africa, plonk for me.

Right, it's not one of your wines at 500 euros a bottle.

I think of others when I use our money.

Our money?

I sold my company, now they profit!


Well, this really proves...



Since everyone's so relaxed, I'll tell you our news.

We're getting married.


Is that true?

That's wonderful! I'm so happy!

We barely know you.

We have to catch up. Tell us what you do.

Lola said you play in a band?

Yes, but with marriage and new responsibilities, I've decided to get serious.

I've applied to a debt recovery firm.

Nothing very exciting but with regular hours.

I didn't know you'd applied!

I wanted to surprise you.

So cute!


It's upsetting. He seems totally depressed.

Want to play porn stars?


What's my name?


Mitch Cum.

I'm doing my best, I'm no porn expert!

It's not the weather report.

Want the finish?

Good night. Good night, Mitch honey.

How's it going?


He was in my year at Harvard.


Just kidding...

Not your usual Harvard guy...

I'm splitting.

I'm sorry?

I'm sick of this house, of her pissing me off...

I'm outta here.

How about getting some air?

We could do the shopping.

Ok. I'll drive.

Let me help you.

I did yours while I was doing mine. It needed it!


Say hello to Gilbert.

Hello, Gilbert.

Who was that?

The neighbor. I hate his guts.

Mr. Squeaky Clean.

I bet he's a pervert who screws his dog.


Can you see?


I think old people should retake their driving test.

Young people should shut their mouth.

I passed it before you were born!


You can always walk.

It's ok, quit being a drag.

Goddam virgin.

Quinoa, tofu, wakame puree...

I'm shopping for the Dalai Lama!

Try to relax, sir.

Cut the "sir", I'm not ancient!

Here we go, just what Grandpa needs!

Sure, jerk!

Good morning.

What do you have to offer?

Try the Château Fabien 2007.

That's the Château Fabien?

I've heard a lot about it.

It's an elegant wine with a fruity undercurrent.

Very elegant!

A very handsome youngster.

A pretty boy like you.


What do you know? It's vinegar.


No good. Fabien?

Fabien no good. No good at all.

Knock it back. Loosen up.

He needs something more relaxing.

Maybe a rejuvenating wine?

Very funny. Watch it, ok.

I don't really know what you mean.

That looks good.

It's not on offer today.

Don't be a bitch.

One for the road!

Just one then. I have to work.


It's good.

Shit... We're late.


Thanks, guys. Nico, pal...

We'll split the list.

That way...

You did a Suzanne.


Suzanne never finishes a sentence.

She starts, you wait, and then nothing...

You noticed that?

I thought no one but me had.

It gets me so mad!

And she always uses chopsticks!

"It's handier."

No way! They're two bits of wood!

This isn't China. It isn't China!

Listen to me.

My wife, ok?

My daughter, that woman shopping over there, the other one getting stuff... they're all ball-busters.

They get you high but it's hell being hooked.

It's true. Listen.

Don't get married.

Understand? If you want a halfway decent life, don't get married!

When I'm drunk, I like to feel myself.

Is Dad always like that?

I don't know. I ignore him. Look.

I've been saving up for a well in Burkina Faso.

You know it's a landlocked country?

They've been trying to dig wells for years now.

It's crazy. Life expectancy there is 48 years.

It's crazy, it's crazy.

It's crazy!

Can you help me?

Little Gilbert's parents are at the checkout.

Little Gilbert.

Here's my son!

I smell hashish.


Go back to the 60s, you old fart.

Let's smoke something first.

Got any weed, guys?

They're 8 years old!

Looking to smoke?

Need a contact?

It's 10 miles away.

One mile to go.

I need an ATM.

What was the guy's name?


I don't believe it!

Iggy Pop's Lust for Life, my all-time favorite album!

I've seen him live 8 times.

He got me into music!

As a wedding-singer?

It's a money-earner.

I wanted to be in music. I made a demo.

Right, sure!

Now you're in debt recovery.

It's a beginning.

Look who's here!

Know what they do? This.

Fuck war! Fuck you back!

This is good.

That's the Iggy dance!

Hear that hi-hat!

So hi it's stratospheric!

Turn it down!


Hi, I'll have a combo n° 3 with a Diet Coke.

The same.

With ketchup and mayo.

And a Happy Meal!

Gilbert, right?



Abdel-preppy. What, fucker?


We're here for the weed.

For what?

The weed.

Ok, it's 20 E's the bar.

Only cuz Marco sent you, on the Koran!

On the Koran?


Can you roll it for us?

Watch out for the pigs, this hood sucks!

Do you know...

Do you know...

Do you know what... an owowow is?


It's this tiny little bird, with tiny legs and huge balls and when he lands, he goes, "Ow ow ow!"

Life's really good with Lola.

We talk, we have no secrets.

Things are really good in bed too.

One horny slut!

How did you get into dealing?

My man Karim in the hood told me, "Try it, deal the weed."

So we did a deal at 25.

I sell at 20, homey.

That's all.

Aren't you getting fooled? You buy at 25 and sell at 20?

25. I sell at 20, homey.

I get 20 back. What's the problem?

So each time we buy, you're giving us 5 euros?

25 minus 20?

That makes 5.

20 E's. That's 20 euros?

You got it, man, you're smart. I like you!

How many E's can you sell?

How do you mean?

How many E's of weed can I buy?

As much as you want. 10, 15, 35...


Like it's the SeventiE's!

It's not a big breakdown but it'll take a while.

Have dinner without us.

Cut it out.

A beer?

Shit, this is good!

I'm sick of her tofu.

Are you ok?

Careful! At your age, you can croak on that shit.

Seeing that white light?

Very funny. You'll soon be choking like an old man too.

How do you mean?

Marriage, work, a quiet life...

It'll soon be, "We need a place of our own."

A new apartment, a baby...

Lola and I aren't into that.

We're cool. No "place of our own".

One step at a time. But why talk about me?

How is it with Suzanne?

Can you be inspired in bed after so long?

You invent new positions?

You get home and say, "Let's try this.

"Stick your head in the washing machine, I'll stand on the Internet box."

I'm sick of this shitty life. I'm sick of this couch.

And its color... It's not a color, it's a message that tells you, "Come watch Wheel of Fortune, come watch Colombo."

That's all I have. This couch and this damn TV.

Look at that!

Seen that blonde there?

Hot, isn't she?

She's hot!

Suzanne was 10 times hotter!


You've no idea. Tits to drive a man wild!

An incredible ass. A wonder!

Back then, we'd put on Iggy Pop's Lust for Life and bang away all night. All night!

I'd grab her by the hair...

I'd eat her pussy...

I get the picture. Sorry.

No more pussy now, just seeds.

No more pussy.

It'll be the same for you, the same trap.

Come and see something.

Zildjian K Custom.

Just like Ringo Starr's.

Covered with wet underwear.

There goes your dream!

You had fun with Dad?


Trouble with the car but nothing serious.

Let's leave early. I have work waiting for me.

These are beans?

Yes, organic adzuki. They're excellent for...

I need the bankcard.

I'm sorry?

For our joint account.

I want to use my money.

What for?

To do what I want. It's mine, right?

Maybe I'll buy a car, a solid gold raclette kit, a thousand briefs or blow it at the track or eat it!

I hope you're joking.

I've saved for my Burkina Faso project.

You're not frittering it away!

It's MY money!

Hide behind your project to ease your conscience.

But, from now on, I'm doing what I want!

What's up with him?

Leave him, he'll soon come back down to earth.

Amigos, I hope you enjoy your brunch.

What are you doing?

I'm splitting.

I'm making room for the homeless, Romanians or even a Zaghawa tribe.

In fact, give them this.

I do humanitarian work too!

I'll go this way. No, that way.

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine.

I need time alone to weigh things up.

If he needs a teen meltdown at 50, fine.

But we mustn't play along.

Sure you'll be ok? I'm good.

I'm totally...

I hope it passes.

Being alone is bad at their age.

It'll all work out.

Do you think we'll end up like them?

Know many couples who play "Porn Stars" every night?

So we'll always be together?


At least your résumé is quick to read.

What we need are people who can be persuasive.

Your past experience doesn't count.

We need you to learn our methods and apply them.

You know what we do? Can you do it?

Yes, of course.

You can start on Monday.

One word of advice.

In the "interests" paragraph, lose The Simpsons.

It's wiser.

I called Mom. Know where my dad's living?

In my old student apartment.

He's totally crazy.

He'll get over it.

To your new job! I'm so proud of you.

I'm proud of me too.

I've been thinking...

I'm getting more responsibilities, there's your job, our wedding...

Maybe we should stop paying rent and get a place of our own?


I can look at ads?

Yeah, sure.

Actually, I've picked out a few already.

There's this one in a Haussmann building with a herringbone parquet floor.

I love that!

Then this one in the 6th. Nice and sunny...

Just a second.

Thomas Brenner, please.


Sorry to bother you. I'm Claude Starks, a music producer.

You're not bothering me.

I saw you play at a wedding and you blew me away.

We can work together.

I was charmed as much by the singer as by the man.

Am I making myself clear?

Here's what I suggest. Come over to sign the contract, then we'll celebrate in my room.

Why not but...

I knew it! Who is this?

Gilbert, you faggot!

What a jerk...

Stop acting like I'm ancient! Let's go out and ogle some ass.

What? But I'm with Lola!

Find an excuse! Let's have a blast!

All right...

A major meltdown.

HD screen! With 3-D!

Plus the drum kit...

You smoke now?

I'm beginning.

All right, let's have a quick drink before we go out.

Where do you want to go?


I hear Les Parisiennes is hip.

Les Parisiennes? We'll never get in.

You're 3,000 years too old!

I'll teach you to party.

Here you go, pal.

You won't taste this often.

Château Margaux 2000.

How did you pay for it?

All this? How did you pay for it?

A present from our friends in Burkina Faso.

To your career in music.

Sorry, in debt recovery.

Very funny. I have no choice.

You sound like you're 50. Your life's ahead of you.

But it takes balls. Ever let anyone hear your demo?

You don't have the balls.

Watch this.

Does Thomas have balls?

I don't think I know the answer to that.

I love this!

Weather in Butt Hole...

It's cloudy in Butt Hole.

There's a town called Butt Hole!

What would happen if you made two talk together?

Ok, let's go.

Hot to trot?

An evening with a fossil...

Why not?

We'll never get into this place.

Just go for it.

Look self-assured.

Good evening.

How's it going?

Two of us.

I'm good but you two aren't going in.

You see. Just a second.

I didn't recognize you...


Gilbert, how are you?

How's it going? Great.

Please, go on in!

Have a good time, guys.

The Prince of Burkina Faso is here.

Give him a big hand!

This is the life!

Man, you're totally crazy!

Your table's more fun than ours.

How do you do? I'm Irène.

I'm Irène. Sorry, Gilbert.

We would like Iran to take part in the summit on nuclear security but we believe you're continuing with your program.

All that flies.

He means "lies".

Iran for day ever took rock the nuclear of Europe tip instruction of eggplant which always know impossible information always!

No doubt but we need to examine the report in detail before giving you an answer.

I know you floor parity Iran levitation of the promise of us.

Of course.

Just so we agree: did anyone understand a word of that?

All right, ma'am.

I understand. Try to pay when you can.

All right.

Forgive me, ma'am.

I won't bother you again.

Goodbye, thank you for speaking to me.

Want us to send her flowers too?

This isn't the Salvation Army. Be more aggressive.

I understand.

Forgive me. Carry on.

This place is pretty stuffy.

Never been before?

Of course I have.

It's always seemed stuffy.

And... the men are all waxed.

Gilbert, all men wax these days.

My guys have to be fully waxed.

Fully? Yes.

We're ok. Thank you!

All right.

Going to the pajama party?

What pajama party?

The party of the year.

To celebrate the platinum album by the kids' music star, Mimi Zozo.

With guys from her label?

Yes, all in pajamas. It'll be wild!

Can you do me a favor? My friend Thomas is a musician and needs to meet record label guys...

Carl, the A&R guy, invited me.

He signs new artists. I can ask.

That would be...

Lamb sauté with flatbread?

And the layered beef. Enjoy.

"Layered beef"? It's a goddam hamburger!

It's a hamburger!

Look! What did you get?

Lamb sauté with flatbread.

A gyro! This is crazy!

It's a gyro!

This guy farts and calls it a perfume!

Pay within 5 days or this will get nasty!

We've been calling for 3 months now.

The bailiffs are getting your file.

I don't want any more excuses, underst...

All right.

Put your mom on then.

I'll call back, it's ok.

Hello, I'm calling about a message concerning some money I owe you...

All right.

I can't afford to pay you.

My pension barely covers my rent as it is.

What am I supposed to do?

I'm very well preserved and can pay you back in another way.

I have a lot of experience...

Gilbert, you jerk.

Shit, I thought you'd fallen for it.

I work, ok.

We have a pajama party tonight.

A pajama party?

Want to meet record label people?

Today at 11:44 pm...

Hi, it's me. I'll be home late. I'm snowed under with work.

But I'll be up early to visit that apartment. Love you.

That's Mimi Zozo.

With the label boss.

The juice isn't fresh!


You didn't like any songs?


That's Carl, the head of A&R.

Irène, how are you? It's great to see you.

Glad to be here.

Brought some friends?

Yes, meet Gilbert and...



When can we get together?

Coming to Marrakech?

The parties are going to be wild!

I don't think I can make it.

Let's all go.

All together. It'll be my treat.

You guys should... He makes music.

If Irène's sending you, call by any time.

What kind of music?

It's hard to define...

Pop? Folk?

Pop-folk? Love it. It's the big sound right now.

Barefoot guys with guitars...

The public radio lefties love it. It's what I'm looking for.

Really? Sure.

I like this kid!

That's awesome.

That hurts.

Let me show you around. This place is huge. It's incredible.

Good morning.

Come in.

You wanted a herringbone parquet floor?

A dead ringer for Patrick Bruel, the singer.

See how sunny it is?

Yes, it's very bright. It faces southwest.

You can open the window.

The building's mostly offices.

So you can make noise at night.

So we can go for it? We can party, we can sing...

"Sing Ourselves Hoarse"?

Anything you like.

Just how "Hoarse"?

Well, until you're hoarse.

You can change this. I prefer a big table.

Handy for "Poker"? I'm sorry?

A big table's handy for "Poker".

No doubt.

The kitchen?

It's perfect.

A small private courtyard.

In summer, you're allowed go down there and have a picnic.

You say you're allowed. Who's allowed?

"Who's Allowed to Do That"?


The tenants, owners, everyone...

All right.

You need a reply within the week?

Within 48 hours. I have a lot of offers.

I already love the place.

Yes, me too.

Sorry, but "I Have to Say it Again".

I "Love" this place.

Ok, I get it.

The Patrick Bruel song quotes.


You look like... I know.

You couldn't resist?

No. A double like that is a gift from God.

You can't waste it.

I have to salvage things.

We can't miss out on this place. You understand?

Where will we get the money? We'll need a deposit.

I'll ask Dad before he blows all his money.

His money...

Are you listening? I'm listening.

Is it wise to spend everything?

Don't you start too!



What's going on? That's the fourth one.

It's your shorts. They're really gay.

San Francisco rollerbladers wear them!

And what do they do after rollerblading?


You waxed your legs?!

Not just my legs.

All guys wax downstairs now.


Let's go. They're making me uneasy.


How's it going?

Where have you been?

At work. We're busy.

At work?

So explain this.

"Letter of dismissal"?

It must be a mistake. They send mail out all day.

I'll get it corrected.

Glad you told me.

Why are you so distant?

What aren't you telling me? Nothing.

Are you seeing someone?

You're crazy!


Who's Gigi?

Who is it?

A guy from the office.

This late? Can I answer to tell him you're busy?

Sorry, it's not Thomas.

He'll call you back.

I'm sorry.

I don't know why I did that.

You're just never here and we have a decision to make.

What decision?

About the apartment.

We call my dad for the deposit and go for it!

Right, the deposit...

I wanted to talk about that.

After all, the money was set aside for Burkina Faso.

Shouldn't we persuade your father to return it to the Burkinians...


What do you suggest?


For the apartment, I mean!

We wait a while.

I'm onto something. I have to show you.

If it works, we can buy 30 apartments.

I love you I L-O-V-E...

Y-O-U You love me Y-O-U L-O-V-E M-E That's your song?

What do you mean?

You plan to sell that?

You can't be serious. You hate it.

That's not the problem. Just get real.

It won't pay for anything.

I love the fact that music's a passion for you.

You don't believe in me. I do.

Others do too.

The pop-folk sound is huge right now.

But without my woman's support, why bother?

Hold on. Didn't we say you'd get a job, we'd find an apartment, we'd get married and move on?

I've had a dream all my life and you just sank it!

And the wedding?

It's off.

Everything's off.

She doesn't believe in what I do.

You know...

Marriage in itself isn't a bad thing.

Sharing with someone, taking decisions together...

It brings balance.

Maybe, without Suzanne...


Save that for others.

I know.

She's my daughter but marriage can be hell.

I hope it works out.

What's that noise?

This conversation isn't going anywhere.

You're not serious?

I was about to say the same thing.

Let's forget it.

Whose is it? I got it just for this.

Let's take your mind off things.


A&R is waiting for you.

All right.

You stayed in?

No, I was at "Le Baron" all night, then came straight here.

Shit, my appointment.

Have a seat.

Wanna do lunch?

Sure. What do you fancy?

Any ideas?

Let's think and talk in 10.

I'll brainstorm it.

I love, I love chocolate But I love opera too

This'll be huge!

Who consumes the most music?

Kids. But they download it illegally.

What is never downloaded?

Classical music.

I take an opera has-been, remix him with Mimi Zozo and we go platinum.

It'll sell by the box-load.

Brought your songs?

Here you go.

I don't get it. You told me it was pop-folk.

What can I do with this?

I want to sing that song.

It's good. What is it?

His demo. I thought it might work for Mimi.

I love it.

What's your name?


That's Mimi's next single.

Actually, I want to keep this song for my album.

What? It's not for Mimi?

I don't know what he means.

Write another song for yourself but give us this for Mimi.

When can I sing the song?

We'll work it out. Give me the song!

Or I'll sign with Universal!

Let's talk outside.

We need this song. She's rejected everything else.

What do you want in return?

I wanted that song for my album. And I saw Iggy Pop's signed here.

I'll introduce you to Iggy whenever you want.

We'll do your album too.

But we need Mimi's new single fast.

Know what? We're celebrating in Marrakech.

We'll shoot Mimi's video there and we'll see about...

about your album.

I cherish that song.

I sang it when I met Lola.

I don't want Mimi Zozo murdering it.

We'll go to Marrakech anyway.

We'll find a record label without cloth ears.

Why won't my card go through?

Maybe you've bled Burkina dry.

Shit. You think so?

What about Irène?

And you?

Screw Marrakech. We'll find another label.

You say that but it's a great opportunity.

A hit song will be good for your album.

That's the way Gainsbourg did it.

He wrote for others, then did his own album.

He didn't write for Mimi Zozo.

He wrote for France Gall.


We go to Marrakech, we party, you work on your album. It's perfect.

Ok, you lose one song but you'll write others.

They adore you. Why would they murder it?

You know what?

I swear to make sure they change nothing.

Not the lyrics.

Nor the rest.

Shit, we'll go wild!

Cut it out!

You just can't stop.

You, me, your sister, your mother and your grandmother

Our flight's in 3 hours!

Plenty of time!

I'll put the bags outside.


Going away?

Honey, what are you doing here? Are you ok?

I'm ok. You redecorated?

I have something to do.

I'm going out, out of here.

You left the music on.

I'll turn it off later. What brings you here?

I wanted to talk.

You understand these things better than Mom.

Why won't you let me in?

Got a mistress in there?

A mistress!

No way.

Back in adolescence. Everything's fine.

I kind of wanted to take a step back. It's good.

Is it temporary or permanent?

I'm weighing things up. I'm 50.

When you wake up in the morning and you realize you're 50, it's as if you've missed out on your life!

That sounds familiar.

What? That's what I want to talk about.


It's over between us.

I can't believe it! What happened?

My mind is totally boggled!

He had a kind of meltdown like you.

He wanted to be a singer and said I couldn't understand, that I didn't know the "in" sound...

I don't know what happened!

That's crazy! Shit, I can't believe it!

Me neither, Dad. Everything was good.

I'd found someone who put up with me.

Can't you call him?

Seeing as how your situation is the same...

Of course. I'll try to call him.

Heard from your mother?

She's rushed off her feet.

Rushed off her feet with her work, you mean?

Isn't that Thomas' guitar?

Yes, the one he recommended.

I got myself the same one.

Sorry, I keep seeing him everywhere.

I miss him.

That's his!

I liked it on him so I got one for myself.

It's like a Gaultier ad.

It's totally my style, right?

I love men...

I can hear someone!

It's the radio.

I hear a buzzing sound.

The radio's playing up.

It was to tide him over.

I said he could come and get a change of scene.

How long has this been going on?

Is the music thing your idea?

It's worth looking into. He could get rich...

You're both totally crazy!

Go ahead, act like you're rock stars!

Make him think he'll be big.

I'm sick of dealing with two brats!

What was that?

Nothing, just a draft.

Say hello to Kojak!

The selfish bastards! I knew something was going on.

I didn't force him to get married or find a job.

He did it all alone.

How can I do the summit now?

Honey, you'll find a better man.

The bastards!

I'm through with adolescents. Enough.

I'm going to have some fun at last!

Go for it!

I feel just the same.

I want to go totally wild.

I'm going to hunt down some sex.

Ok, Mom...

43 emails. Come and see.

Want to hear Mimi's version of the song?

It's very different...

We turned it into a hit.

Not letting Thomas listen?

No, I'd rather he focused on his album.

His album...


Carl, that advance you mentioned... Can I get it now?


Thank you.

You no longer carry soybeans from Malaysia?

These are from China.



How are you?

I'm fine.

Let me help you. Do you have your car?


I'll drive you home.

That's kind because...

Because it's some way.



You look well. I took you for your daughter.

Stop it...

Excuse me.

Hello. Here you go.

Sorry, I don't have any change.

Let's go.

Wait, madam, I'll help you cross.

Give me your bag.

I'm delaying you. Not at all.

I'm over here.

Rue Chabrol? That's not near here.

What did you tell him?

That Rue Chabrol wasn't near here and to get a bus to Place Péri.

You can say "Place Péri" in sign language?


Jesus fucking Christ!

This is the life!

Not a bad bike!

It's just like on TV!

Relax, guys. Party tonight!

A white Martini.



Can I buy you a drink?


I'd love to have 12 euros to buy a drink.

I've always dreamt of that and you'll make it come true!

Excuse me, could you hold my glass while I...

No problem.

What shall we drink to?

To tonight's worst pick-up technique.

Truth or dare?

My turn!

Carl said he played you the song.

We're not talking shop tonight. Here we go...

Truth or dare?


No, dare.

Kiss each other on the mouth!


I'm not into nightclubs.

I work so much, I never go out.

A guy with a job! I don't even know your name.

Romain. And you?

Lola. I'm warning you, I don't want a long-term relationship.

Just a one-night stand.

The most beautiful thing I ever heard.

Carl says you're a future star.

Star's a big word. I'll be recording soon.

Maybe with Iggy Pop.

I can't believe I'm with a future star!

I have to tweet this!

Stop it, Gilbert, it's too soon.

Come on...

Enjoy the atmosphere.

Where's the bathroom? I'll show you.

I'll take him. No, it's ok.

You tweet everything?


A guy even wants to publish my tweets.



Romuald from Big Brother 3.

Not bad...

I'm really not that kind of girl.

It's ok, we had a great evening.

I've made breakfast.

Why are you smiling?

I'm just not used to a man taking the initiative.

You're my youngest ever.


How old usually?

40 to 45.


I don't know why.

Maybe because they're not after commitment.

But I've found a real gem.

Not eating with me?

Time for work. Let's do this again soon.

We can go now you're here.

Go where?

The music video shoot.

Where's Gilbert?

Already there, on drums.

On drums?

He offered to help out.

He did?

From the top. Music.

I love you I L-O-V-E Y-O-U

You love me Y-O-U L-O-V-E M-E We love each other Let's make war, a war of kisses Let's make war, a war of kisses

What's he doing?

What is this shit?

Where's my song?

What's up?

You've murdered my song!

You can't do this. What if Iggy Pop hears it?

Iggy Pop? Sure. Know what?

Mick Jagger wants to do a duet! Hold on.

Lady Gaga's trying to reach you!

Wake up, pal. There's no Iggy Pop, no album.

You should be happy you're writing for Mimi.

Give me back my song!

Give it back!

He bit me!

I'm keeping the song but get rid of him. And him!

I let you listen to it. Didn't you run it by him?

I'll deal with Thomas. I'll sort things out.

We'll party at the villa tonight.

Forget about it.

You swore they wouldn't change it.

Why won't you trust them?

They know their stuff. It'll be a hit.

Look what you get out of it.

The villa, the pool, the chicks...

That's why you talked me into it? Screw all that!

I've lost everything, Gilbert!

I've nothing left.

No job, no apartment, no Lola!

Lola came back once, she'll come back again.

Lola came back once?

She stopped by at the apartment. I forgot to tell you.

She came back? What did she want?

She wanted me to call you to talk some sense into you.

Why didn't you call me?

You were at my place!

You screwed up.

Look around you!

I made your dream come true.

My dream? Shit, Gilbert, I don't want to end up like you.

This villa...

This pool...

None of it is ours.

...not ours.

These guys are here because they need us!

The chicks don't realize you're broke!

This is one big sham.

Since meeting you, I've lost it all. You too.

You only care about yourself.

Suzanne never finishes her sentences because you don't listen.

I hope you'll see that one day.

I want you to go.

A lot including a Yahouré mask and a statue of a Bahoulé princess from Côte d'Ivoire.

Starting price: 8,000 euros.

9,000... 10,000...

12,000, madam. 13,000...

You're buying everything, Claude.

I have to take part. And it's for a good cause.

16,000... 17,000...

Sold for 17,000 euros.

Thank you to the generous gentleman again.

Now some items that have been donated...

We have 26 bottles of Château Margaux 2000 and a Pearl Masters drum kit with Zildjian K Custom cymbals and a fairly unusual studio apartment in the 18th district of Paris.

The donator has sent us a note that I'll read to you now.

"I don't need all this.

"I just need you."

Beautiful declaration to Africa.

Let's thank this anonymous gentleman and start bidding on today's biggest lot.

We'll open at 220,000 euros.

Buy what you like but not the drums.

Why not? My generosity has no limits.

Not the drums, I said!


I screwed up.

I'm over girls, Marrakech... drums...

I want to be old again.

My beautiful Suzanne!

Why's he here? Stop it.

Why did that uptight tofu-shitter call you that?

How dare you!

I'll reset your teeth, then see how I dare!

Stop it!

On your own head be it.

Enough is enough.

You've been warned.

The jerk's got me in a judo hold!

Just stop it!

He's full of hot air.

I never made you stop drumming. Your work got in the way.

I've been a selfish bastard.

I didn't listen to you.

You never ended... a sentence.

'Cause I wasn't listening.

You'll listen to me now?


I love listening to you talking about famine, drought, dying children. It makes me so happy.

I'm now going to deal my final blow.

Go ahead, D'Artagnan.

You can drop the act now, Claude.

I've won this duel hands down.

Now it's him or me. Make your choice.

I made my choice. Years ago.

He messed you up.

He'll get wasted on green tea.

I see you've grown up.

I'm dropping the bullshit.

Not the drumming.

I want you to go back to it.

Replaced by another Another better than me Why did you do it With another better than me?

Let's thank Thomas for that musical interlude!

And now Jean-Marie with a few words for his granddad.

Jean-Marie, over to you!


You started out as a janitor in Paris before making a fortune in real estate in '42.

That was Grandpa Marcel!

Then when, on a whim, you moved the family to South America for 20 years.

That was Grandpa Marcel too!

How's it going?

You play for your parents or you like it?


What? You like it?


Got a sweetheart?


Here's some advice:

If ever you have to choose between your sweetheart and music, choose your sweetheart.


Is "yes" all you can say?

Go on, say "no".


Let yourself go a bit.

Say "fucking hell".

Fucking hell.

There you go.

Thank you.

Or, as they say in that language you cherish:

You ought to come here.

He may do something stupid.

You won't do it.

Can't he get off my back? I'm doing it.

I know you won't. Cut the crap.

You want to screw up my suicide too?

"You want to screw up... boo-hoo."

Thomas, grow up!

You're giving me this shit now?

Listen, I'm here because thanks to you, thanks to your words, I've landed me a woman.

Ok, she's not that young but she's the best I can hope for at my age.

What are you talking about? Suzanne.

I've gone back to Suzanne.

One of us lucked out.

I have nothing so may I kill myself?

A teenager's classic cry for help.

Shit, I'm not a teenager! Look at me.

I'm really doing it.

Instead of facing responsibilities, you'd rather jump off a building.

That's really mature of you.

Well done.

The Prince of Burkina Faso is giving me lessons?

Just what are you trying to prove?

You want Lola to feel guilty? Or me?

It's working. I feel guilty.

Don't make me cry.

You're out of your mind!

You're better already.

Stay with us until you get yourself straight.

You're totally wacko.

Go home to mommy, you whore!

Wait here a minute.

Are you ok?

You know, in times like this people write great songs.


Sometimes you brush your dream with your fingertips

Sometimes it's so close you can't see it

Lola, my dream was you Lola, it's Dad.

I'm back home again with your mother.

I have something to tell you.

It's very important.

Come over. I can't talk about it on the phone.

Take care.

What's your problem?

I didn't study at the Conservatoire to sing with some pissy missy about good manners!

Parents love good manners. We'll make a bomb!

Just name your price.

No, I'm not doing it. It's out of the question.

How about 120,000 euros?

Maybe. But it won't be for the money.


I only have 2 minutes before I call the States.

Got something for me?

It's not for Mimi Zozo.

It's a song that'll launch a new star.


As a singer?


Some guys never give up.

Tension at the Nuclear Security Summit this evening in Paris.

Iran has expressed its indignation after nuclear installations near Natanz were damaged last night.

Iran complete pastrami for international system basket of you.

Iran counts among its...

They understands!

What's up?

I have two surprises for you.

You'll have your best evening ever.

That's the first.


What are you doing here, LOLA?


Dad called. It sounded bad.

Not at all.

Aren't you going to introduce me?

My mother, Romain. Romain, my mother.

Very pleased to meet you, ROMAIN.

Shit, Gilbert!

The pleasure is mine. We were worried.

Get out.

What's wrong? I've been trying to reach you.

Hi, Romain. How do you do?

You know it's the summit tonight.

The summit... I totally forgot.

Maybe you should head back.

What do you mean?

Why bring me here?

Sweetheart, it's because... it's important that you know we're much happier.


That's why you sent for me?

The bathroom, please?

Down there on the left.

Thank you.

We bumped...

You're a good mommy.

And I've been a naughty boy!

Nice mommy shorts...

You like it.

What a nice, ripe apricot!


You know your stuff, Suzanne, huh?

You like youngsters, huh?

What the fuck?!

What's going on?

You're here?

I can explain.

I think you should explain, Gilbert.

No, I'll explain.

I keep thinking about you.

I made the biggest mistake of my life.

I'm totally lost.

So you decided to scare my boyfriend?

He was jerking off to your mother!

Jerking off to what?

Listen, I...

To my mother?

You jerked off to my wife?

Yes, I think he jerked off to me. Is that right?

Thank you.

Thank you for doing this to me.

Are there any French singers you'd like to work with?

I heard a song today by a young guy, Thomas Brenner.

That was the second surprise.

He wants to see you tonight.

That's incredible. I'm happy for you.

I have to go. I'll try to get through my summit somehow.

It's much less fun.

Don't keep Iggy Pop waiting.

I need your badge, sir.

You were trying to help?


Have you seen a small brunette pass by?

Lola Saraco, do you know her?

Very slim, with her hair tied up.

With a skirt up to her ass...

That way.

France has worked for years to promote nuclear security on an international level.

We believe in each nation's responsibilities while recognizing the key role of intergovernmental cooperation.

I wish to thank all those who helped organize this event.

Lola, can you hear me?

Mr. Lucas Brocca for France...

Speak only Farsi this time to make yourself understood.

I'm so angry, I couldn't say it in French anyway.

Try to calm down, sir. We need to negotiate.

I'm not negotiating. I'll show them who they're up against.

Can you hear me?

Our Iranian counterpart, Mr. Reza Sadeqi, will now join us.

Can anyone hear me?

Good evening to one and all.

I'm very happy to be here tonight.

Thank you for the welcome and the buffet.

The salmon was delicious.

I had two helpings!

What's so funny?

Because I look like a beardy terrorist?

How did I get through customs?

Orly Airport is a shithole!

Let me present our offer.

It's an all-inclusive seven-day trip, transport by ship included.

Every room has its own Jacuzzi.

Why not come to the club?

This is an excellent offer!

And now, the weather.

Tomorrow, it will be

27° in Shiraz, 17° in Tehran, 19° in Meshed.

The Mistral and the Tramontana will blow fairly strongly.

And we wish all Mathildes a happy name day.

Did I tell you I have 3 testicles?

Did I mention that minor defect?

Lola, come back!

Screw Iggy Pop and gold records. I want you!

How much d'you want to sleep with the Iranian for a week?

If you come back, I'll do things with him that you can't find on the worst adult websites.

So I take back a failed singer who can't even meet Iggy Pop?

I'll do anything.

It's ok. I got what I needed in there.



If I have to prove my love, I'll find the Iranian in his dressing room and eat his a...

Good manners Come on, sir, tell us what not to do Don't speak with your mouth full Or put your elbows on the table Good manners Come on, sir, tell us what to do You say "please" and "thank you"

And cover your mouth when you yawn


Guess who I'm with.

No, Lola.

I'll put him on.

Yes, sweetheart. Hold on a second...

You let him bang your chick like that?

I'll make him weep for his life.

Trap the bastard and kneecap the fucker.

Once he's down, wham, we redo his smile with a gun butt.

I take two homies and we make him weep for his old lady.


Subtitling: Eclair Group