Life After Beth (2014) Script

Can I help you find something, sir?


Yeah, do you have any black napkins?

I've been looking all over.

Black napkins. I don't think so.

If you don't like White, this is a beige one.

They have to be black.

That's more of a Halloween item.

You might want to try a party store.



You guys ran out last night so...

Oh, that was so thoughtful of you.

Thank you. Thank you. Come on in.

Maury, how are you holding up? Hi. Uh...

You know. Yeah.

Noah, come on in. Come on in.

I just don't know what I would do.

I keep thinking about her sweet little face in Mommy and Me.

Just the most perfect little girl.

Beth... Just so dear. No, of course not.

Is that turkey? It's turkey pastrami.

Pastrami turkey? Yeah.

The pink one is turkey pastrami.

Just the most lovely baby of them all.

What a dear child.

It's hard to understand.

Zach, I'm so sorry.


Thank you, Mr. Levin.

She was a special girl.

Kyle, we're back.

I'm gonna take a nap. Okay.

Hey. you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

How did it go?

What kind of a question is that?


I mean, is that really the problem? Is it the garden or is it you guys?

Well, it's not just beaches there. They have... it's islands. Two islands? There's mostly... Well, the Turks.

And then, there's the Caicos. The Caicos.

We don't have to go to both. We can just go to Turks.

You know what? We don't have to decide tonight, but you'll think about it. You'll think about it.

We know it's been a tough time. But Turks and Caicos?

I talked to Sam Hirsch today, and he said, "The reason I've been..."

I'm getting out of here. Pearline, where are you going?

Geenie gave you the day off. Don't go in there, Zachery.


I'm never coming back. Can we please talk?

I've had enough, you see.

Enough. No more... If this is a bad time, then I think...

Zach, can you believe this?

You want to come inside?


I just don't understand, you know.

We gave her the day off. Right?

Now, of all times.

It's just not like her. She's lost her mind clearly.

She can't leave us, not now.

She needs a break. I don't know.

Um, what are you doing here?

I'm just organizing Beth's stuff, you know.

Her stuffed animals and... Oh, wow.


I really didn't take enough pictures.

So foolish.

Eating Jell-O.

Oh, we used to eat Jell-O all the time when Beth was little.

We ate a lot of Jell-O.

Yeah, we did.

I can't even focus anymore.

I'm a mess, Mr. Slocum.

You can call me Maury.



I think I have something that might help us both.

Geenie's been keeping really busy with all this cleaning.

It's therapeutic, I guess.

And you still have your band, right?

Oh, we broke up. I mean, I left them.


You know, I'll never play music again.

Oh, I'm okay.

Come on.

Well, I don't... Take it.

You're calling me Maury.

Can I tell you something, Maury? Sure.

Beth and I were having troubles before she...

I know.

She told me.

Really? Look, the last time I spoke to her, I was telling her she had to go to the dentist, and she told I was being annoying.

That's the last thing she said to me. "Dad, you're being annoying."

Now, I could choose to remember that for the rest of my life as being emblematic of my connection with my daughter.

Yeah, but then it's all arbitrary then, you know.

Because, like, we only remember the moments that we want to and...

You can't let that last moment define the entire relationship.

It'll drive you crazy. I know. I know.

But there's just, like, so many things that I wish I had told her that I just, like, never even...

I never said to her.

Me, too.

I love you, Zach.

I love you, too.



Aspen with the Goldfarbs.

Can I have that?


It's summer though. Oh, I don't care.

It's hers.

Zach? Jesus Christ, Judy.

Where were you? Stop yelling.

I was playing chess at the Slocums'.

It's 3:00 in the morning!

I know.



Zach, are you coming to bed?

Yes! Just go to sleep.

Hey, Maury and Mrs. Slocum, or Geenie.

Guess I can call you Geenie.

Stopped by today with Jell-O, and I just, uh...

I don't know. You can call me back, like, whenever you can, okay?

Um, bye, love you.

Let me tell you something.

I tried a provolone cheese today from Canada. So tart.

You're not eating tonight, Zach?

I'm not hungry. Pfft.

You should eat something.

Come on, son, eat.

Did anyone leave a message for me today? The Slocums?

Nope. Not today.

I think they're avoiding me.

You're, uh, spending a lot of time with Maury Slocum, huh?

Well, are they all right?

I don't know. We never even finished the chess game.

The one till 3:00 in the morning, you didn't finish?

Now I'm worried. You know what?

I hope they're all right. What did you do to them?

You played till 3:00, and you still didn't finish?

It was a really good game. What did you do with them?

Nothing, Kyle.

I'm so sure of that. Yeah.

Why are you wearing a scarf? It's summer.

It's Beth's.

Where you going?

You haven't eaten anything. I'm tired.

Well, I think we should see a neurologist. You're acting very strange.

No, I'm not acting strange. Definitely acting strange.

Acting suspicious. I'm tired.

So, where... You're going to sleep now? Yes.

You'll never guess who called today.

Sharon Wexler.

Jesus, Kyle! What the fuck are you doing?

Are you fucking your scarf? No.

Yeah, you are. You're fucking your scarf.

It's my dead girlfriend's scarf, okay? She's dead.

Do you know what that's like? I was just...


Beth! Beth!


Maury, go to the door. Beth!



Beth, it's me. It's Zach. It's me.

Geenie! Maury, Maury!

Come on, you guys.

Open the door. I know she's in there.

What do you think you're doing?

Kyle. Kyle, I just saw...

I saw Beth. Beth is inside.

You're fucking crazy.

And now you're harassing the residents of Briar Grove.

What? No, I'm not. Come on. Give a break. No, you give me a break.

You step away from that door. What? No.

Step... Zach...

I'll fucking mace you. Okay.

I don't want to do it, but I'll mace you. Okay.

All right, stand right there.

Around. Fine.

Had to make a scene, huh?

Mr. and Mrs. Slocum, it's the BGS.

She is in there. I saw her. Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. I didn't even say anything.

I know. I could feel you about to say something.

Everything's fine now, Kyle. Thank you.

What? Maury, Maury. Shut up! Shut up!

Thank you, Mr. Slocum. Maury, what is going on?

I want you to have a great day. Thank you. I saw Beth. I saw Beth.

What are you doing? You need to relax.

You need to shut up. You need to get a hold of yourself.

You need to get in your fucking Saab, and put it in reverse, and drive out of here.

Look, please. Okay, please. She's in there.

Okay, will you just search the house? Will you just ask to search the house?

She's not in there, and I can't do that.

Well, great. Well, what can you do?

I can ask escort you to the perimeter of the premises.

And if you resist, I can call the police. That's what I can do.

Just get the fuck out of here. Come on, Kyle.

Get the fuck out of here.

This is ridiculous. Get the fuck out of here.

Come on.

This is good for Beth.

Who's there? It's Zach.

Zach, go away!



Zach, you need to go.

Where is she? Who?

Beth. Listen, if you're upset at me for not returning your call...

No, she is not dead. Is she?

That's why you've been so secretive about everything.

Zach, listen... Am I right?

Am I right, Maury? Just tell me. You're not right.

You're upset. Beth.

Listen, Zach, you need to leave. Beth! Beth!

Zach! Beth!

Geenie? Geenie!

Beth! Beth! Quick, honey, get in the closet.

Geenie! Geenie! Beth!

Hide in the closet! Close... Mom.

Okay. Okay. Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh, Maury.

Look who I found. It's Beth.

All right, calm down, Zach. It's Beth!

What you doing? Hey, I have that scarf.

What was I supposed to do? He ran around me.

He made a juke, and he ran around me. Stop him in the hall!

What is going on here? What is going on here?

You're acting like a spaz.

It's a little bit hard to explain. Yes.

How could you do this to me, Beth?

You made me think that you were... Hey, hey, hey, hey, Zach.

She didn't do anything. Everything's normal. This just happened.

What just happened? What did I do? Nothing happened. It's normal.

You're fine. Everything is completely normal.

Just tell me. Just tell me. You're totally fine.

Tell me why you shut me out. Tell you what?

Zach, why don't you and I go out and have a little conversation in private?

No, Maury, no. You lied to me. I think that's a wonderful idea.

I never lied. What are you talking about?

Why are you acting all weird? Calm down.

I'm not acting weird. Stop playing dumb, Beth.

I'm not playing dumb. You're freaking out. That is no way talk to my daughter.

You know what? Fuck you people. Listen to me, Zach. You need to calm down.

Look, this is good. This is a good thing.

How could you people? A fucking snakebite?

Please stop. You're scaring me. You're acting all crazy.

This is all happening very fast.

No, I am not acting crazy. And you're confused.

You're all crazy. You're confused.

Do you have any idea what you put me through?

It's okay. All of you.

You know what? You know what, Beth?

It is one thing to say that you want to see other people, okay?

What? I am a wreck.

Don't say anything you wouldn't want to say now like...

You were supposed to be my friend.

I still am. We are friends. Wait a minute.

Who said I wanted to break up with you? Let's talk. You're upset. Let's talk.

Did Rachel say that to you? We're all upset now...

Did she call you? Listen, Zach.

Hey, look who's here.

Zach, is everything all right?

Oh, yeah, everything's great. Beth's alive. It was all just one big hoax.

So just forget about it.

Well, I don't think that's funny.

Yeah, well, I don't either.

Come on. Hurry, hurry.

I went to her grave.

There's a hole in the ground.


She's not dead, Zach.

Look, what kind of a grift is this?

This is not a grift.

Okay, okay. Well, then why couldn't you tell me?

Because she died.

What? She died.

She died, and she's not dead now.

I don't know why. But she's back. Who cares why?

My daughter's alive, Zach.

Look, I am not stupid, okay?

And I will go to the police.

Tell me what happened.

The doorbell rang about a half an hour after you left the night we played chess, and it was Beth.

We don't know how, okay?

Okay. Okay, great.

So this is not a grift, right?

So then what is it? Because you said she was really dead.

And then you said she wasn't dead. So, what are you saying?

Are you saying that she just dug herself out of her own grave and then walked home? Yes.

I don't know.

She... Uh...

Was it the type of snake?

Was it a poison that didn't... That made her seem dead?

I'm not a herpetologist, Zach. I don't know. She remembers nothing.

I mean, what is that? She's dead, now she's not dead.

What, she like... Crazy things happen.

She wasn't really dead?

What is that? What are you saying? Are you saying that she's a zombie?

She's my baby girl. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

It's a miracle. It's a miracle.

She's resurrected. She's resurrected.

She could be a zombie!

Stop saying that, please. It's a resurrection.

Resurrection! She's resurrected!

Okay, and that's better why? Why is that better? Because that's a nice...

It's from the Old Testament.

Shouldn't we call someone at Harvard or MIT and have them study her?

Keep your voice down. She's upstairs. Mom, have you seen my jewelry?

What is going on?

Sweetheart, it's in the Bankers Box with your sticker collection.

Why is all my stuff in boxes now?

Not a word, Zach.

Hey, Zach.

Hey, Beth.

Do you want to go hang out in the attic? The attic? No. Why the attic?

She likes the attic. Why? What's with all this why?

Why? Why? Can't we just do something else?

Why not enjoy yourself? Wait, smile!

Oh, I love it!

Go, Zach. Just go.

Go and tell her what you wanted to tell her when you couldn't.

Come on. It'll be fun. No. Hold on a sec.

You go first. I'm right behind you.

Come here.

Your hair is so warm.

My hair is warm?

What... What does that mean?

Zach, why are you acting so weird?

Like what's going on with you and Mom and Dad?

Everyone's so weird.

Do you really not remember what happened last week?

I'm sorry. Did I do something that pissed you off or something?

Just tell me what you remember.

I don't know. It's a blur. Why?

What about going hiking alone?

Honestly, I can't really think straight right now.

I'm pretty nervous about my test tomorrow.

What test? It's the summer.

I Wish.

What about breaking up with me?

And what about...

Why do you keep saying that?

I don't want to break up with you, Zach.

I love you.

I would never want to break up with you. I don't know why you keep saying...

Hey. Beth, sweetie.

Hey, don't cry.

Why are you being so mean? I'm not being mean.

I just... Yes, you are.

No, I...

Look, I've just...

I've just been having a lot of thoughts about us recently.

Like bad stuff? Um... No. No, no, no, no.

Like really good stuff.

Like, you are my favorite person in the whole world.

And I wish we went hiking together more.

And, like, I wish that I went flamenco dancing with you every time you asked.

And, um...

And whenever you go away, you're the only thing I can think of.

I think of you all the time too. All the time.

I'm so happy that you're back.

And I just... I don't...

I really want it to last this time.

Zach, I love you so much.

I fucking love you so goddamn much.


What? Wait, not...

Not with my parents downstairs.

Okay, do you want to go somewhere? Like, hiking?

Yeah. Okay.

Okay, let's go.

You two have fun? Oh, yeah.

We're gonna go for a hike.

Ooh. Not a hot idea.

Oh. Whoa! In broad daylight?

Zach, are you nuts?

Wait till nightfall. Why?

Because, baby, it's safer. At night?

Who hikes at night? Nobody hikes at night.

We can watch TV till nightfall.


Oh, yeah, okay. Okay, yeah, that sounds good.

I'll get it. No! No, no, no!

Guys? It's fine. I'll get it.

Daddy gets it. You hate getting the phone!

I know, but I like it now.

Pachacuti, the powerful lncan Emperor, who ordered the construction of Machu Picchu...

Why don't you two just hang out here tonight?

Beth has a test tomorrow. It's already late so...

Yeah, but you said that we could...

We could play Scrabble.

Like why don't we just go for a drive or something?

You know, something private?

Discretion, Zach. Discretion.

We could go swimming. Ooh!

That's a good idea. So romantic.

The pool's heated. I don't see why not.

Go swimming.

I don't have a bathing suit so...

You can borrow one of mine. Yeah.

Well, I don't want to impose, so maybe we could just go for a drive.

You're not imposing. It's just a bathing suit.

... empire into darkness.

Are these awesome, or what?

Is something wrong?

I'm just really nervous for that test tomorrow.

What test?


Oh, yeah.

Me, too.

Your mom sure is taking a lot of pictures.

You don't want to eat me, do you?


Not right now, remember?

No, I mean really eat me.

Stop. Not with my parents around. Come on.

That's so weird. What was I just talking about?


You're so beautiful.

I can't believe you're here.

Where else would I be?

I had a really good time tonight. Me, too.

Good night. Good night.

I love you.

No, I love you more.

Yes, I do.


I want to eat your face off.

Hey, man, what are you doing? Nothing.

I'm just cleaning Desert Eagle. Why? It's not like you care.

I care.

Yeah, right.


Look, um...

I'm really sorry about the other day.

Okay, I know you were just doing your job, and I know that I can sound condescending sometimes, but I actually really look up to you and...

You said Beth's alive. Yeah!

Yeah, she is, and it's so great. It's like love conquers all.

You're making fun of me or something? No, it's totally the truth.

Close the door, Zach. Just open your heart.

Close the door, psycho! Okay.

No, get the fuck out of my room! Okay!

Close the door on your way out! Okay!

Good morning.

Look who's got his appetite back.

All that pool watching.

You're up pretty early, son.

Or is it really, really late?

I mean, it's all relative, you know?

Not really, no.

Well, it's like there's no past, no future, no up or down.

No dead or alive.

Jesus realized this.


Whoa! Chip?

Whoa! Where have you been? What happened to you?

Well, nothing. What do you mean?

I haven't seen you since before college.

Oh. You seem like you're kind of down, kid.

No, I'm totally good.


This isn't our mail.

Okay, well, we'll catch you tomorrow.


I know it's a frustrating situation.

Yeah, I understand.


Why don't you tell them to tell...


She's building something.

You know, we really should let Beth know she died.

No. No. Well, I've opened up to her, you know?

Yeah, but no, we're not gonna do that. That'll just confuse her and make her upset.

That's not happening. Honey?

What should I tell them?

Tell them I'll come back when I'm ready to come back.

They have to stop calling every five minutes.

Look, she came back, right? Right.

And that is for a reason. Well...

Also I think Pearline might have something to do with this.

'Cause she... No. Yeah, no.

She disappeared right before Beth appeared.

And she's Haitian. No.

Just think about it like this... Zachy. Zachy.

You're going down a rabbit hole. This doesn't make any sense.

And I need you to tell me that you won't tell her.

Look, I understand how scared you are.

Listen, she's my daughter. I make the rules.

And if you want to be in my house, you will promise me that you are not gonna tell her.


I promise.

There she is! Hey.

Beth, oh, I missed you so much.

I missed you more.

All right, that's enough of that!

Zach and I are going on a hike.

What? Uh-uh. No. No way!

I think that is important that we do this.

No. Beth? Bethy?


You are not to leave this house.

Not in the daylight. Not in the daylight?

Why are you acting like I'm a child? Yeah, tell her, Maury.

"Maury"? Since when did you start calling my dad Maury? Ew!

Zach, this really isn't a good idea.

No, it's fine. Zach.

It's really...

Zach, please don't do this.

Maury, it's cool. Trust me.


Well, have fun. When can I expect you back?

Dad, stop!

Bye, Maury.

It's crazy, you know? Like it all makes sense.

It's like there's no inside without outside or light without dark.

They're the same.

I mean, I want to say that I understand it, but it's like I don't which means I do. Huh.

You're so expressive now. It's cute.

Ah. Her face has a huge blister.

It's not a blister. It's sunburn.

I just got a little color. That's all.

It's charred.

Look at it. Looks cute.

Okay, Zach. Zach! You're acting manic.

It doesn't hurt. I'm fine.

Okay, no more.

Honey, relax. You see, I told you shouldn't go, and now look. Look what happens.

Honey, we'll just put a little foundation on it.

Mom, it's just a sunburn. It's not that big of a deal.

That's right.

Maybe you should put some aloe on it or something and a Band-Aid.

Aloe? You think aloe's gonna do anything?

No more outings. Whoa, whoa! Maury?

Don't you go over my head, Zach. That's final!

Or we can use some of the aloe from our front lawn.

Geenie, stop triangulating.

You know what? Maybe if we were just all completely honest with one another...

Enough already. Will you stop?

No, you know what? Maury you are just too jazzed to know what's what.

Okay, look, this is simple. If we just tell her...

No. "Jazzed"? You want to know jazzed? I'll tell you what, pal.

I know! I know! I know!

I have to study for my test. Jeez.

Right. That's right, Beth. Yeah, that is a good idea.

You have to study for your test.

Yeah, I should probably go, so she can study for her test.

Yeah, you better go. 'Cause Beth has to study for her test.

Yeah. We'll get some studying...


That's enough of that now, kids, come on.

It's not fun. It's weird.

End of kiss, guys. Okay. Let's hit those books.

I love you. I love you, too.

We have to be on the same team.

What? I was backing you up.

Beth, no, you already said goodbye.

What the fuck are you doing?

I want Beth to know.

You're ruining everything. No, I'm not ruining anything.

And now you're not welcome in my home. I love her!

I want her to be happy. Go. Get off my property.

Wait. Maury, come on. She said she's fine. Go! Go!

No. No more. That's it. Maury?

Maury, just come back here.

That's it. Maury?


Beth? Zach?

You scared me. I'm sorry.

But I have a surprise for you so...


Let's go. Are you ready?


Let me go tell Mom and Dad we're leaving. No, no, no, no, no.

Let's just go.

Just be careful, okay? Be careful.



I'm okay.

Are you ready for your surprise?

What do you mean "surprise"?

Where were you? I was just getting something.


Because I am going to give you a concert.

No, you're not. Really? Yeah!

Where's the band? Where's Dan and Roz?

Yeah, it's just me. I'm solo now.

That is so sweet.

I can't believe you're doing this for me.

I lost my heart And I lost my way You were cold, cold, cold I was so full of pain What's going on?

I wrote this for you.

This fucking sucks. This is retarded.



Then let me just skip to the chorus.

Are you messing with me? This is fucking gay, Zach!

I wrote the song for you.

I fucking hate this. Okay, well, I'm kind of sensitive right now. It doesn't sound good.

Well, if you could just listen with your heart, that would be...

No, no. Stop it! Stop it!

I said stop it! Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?

Why did you do that? Why are you doing this to me?

What am I doing? You're the one that's screaming!

I was just playing music.

You know what? You're fucking with me! This isn't Snake 85.

No, I'm solo.

Beth, calm down.

Okay, just calm down.

Okay, Beth, calm down.

Zach, where are you? Where are you?

I'm right here. I'm right here, okay? Don't hurt me.

Take me home. Where are we? Why is it all dark?

Calm down, sweetie. Calm down. Why is it dark?

Who was that?


Jesus. Fuck, Beth!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Zach.

What's happening to me?

I feel... I feel...

Help me.

Help me! Okay.

I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Okay, sweetie.

You're okay.


It's okay. It's okay.


Just sit down.

You're sitting down? Everything's cool. Everything's cool.

Everything's cool.

Jesus! Fuck, Beth, will you just calm down?

Where did you go? I was just...

I was just going around the car.

I didn't want you to go away. I felt alone. Okay.

Where did you go? Hey, it's okay.

Okay. Hey.

Okay? Better?

Don't leave me. Okay, now I'm gonna go around the car, but then I'm gonna get inside. Okay?

I'm going around.

I'm going around the car, so I can get inside. Okay?

I don't feel so good.

I feel really dizzy.


Is that all?

I feel really cold.

Are you hungry?

No, not really. I just feel really cold.

Your... Your window is...

Your window is broken. it won't go up.

You should really get this fixed, Zach.

Someone could totally get in your car and steal your radio or something.

Major distraction in the downtown...


That's good.


Are you serious? Shh.

I'm listening.

Okay, here we go.

We're gonna go home, okay?


We're gonna have to scale the wall.

Do you think that's something you could do?

This music...

I feel so warm.

I feel so good.

Really? It's smooth jazz.

It feels like I'm melting.

Come here.

Oh, sweetie, your breath!

Hey, let's go inside.


Okay. Um...

I'm gonna go. Wait.

I'll be right back. Where are you going?


Did you miss me? Uh-huh.


What is that? Is that mud?

Do you like it?

Yeah, it's really nice.

Okay. Hey.

Hey, Beth, no. No, not tonight. Take this off.

Not tonight. Come on.

No, no, no, no. Okay.

Get off me. Get off me, Beth!

Fuck on the ground!

What are you doing?


Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, wait. Okay, Beth.

Shut the fuck up.

Shut up, you little bitch. Shut up.

Okay. No.

Ow! Ow!

Fuck! Fuck! Beth!

Get the fuck off me. Get off me.

Get off me. Get the fuck... I got to go.

Hey, I got to go. Okay?

Hey, I forgot something in my car.

What's wrong? I forgot something in my car.

Where are you going?


I got to go.

So I'll just call you later.


Maybe we can go for a hike or something.

Oh. Hey.

Yes, sir, how can I help you?

Um, could you change the radio station, please?

You don't like The Wave?

It's just really stressing me out.

It's smooth jazz. I mean, it's supposed to have the opposite effect.

It's supposed to calm you down. Well, not with me, man.

So can you just, like, do something about it?

No one else seems to have a problem.

Zachery Orfman? Sorry.


No, no. I'm sorry.

Um, it's Erica.

Erica Wexler.



Hey, yeah. Erica Wexler. My mom was just talking about you.

Hey. Hi. Oh.

Hey, should we hug?

Uh, yeah. Okay.


So stupid. Okay.

Um, yeah, I just transferred to State, and my mom and your mom are homies.

Or my mom and your mom talked anyway. Right.

So sorry about Beth, by the way. Mmm.

Your mom talked to my mom about it. I know.

You know, I used to really want her to come back.

Of course.

But things were complicated between us, you know.

It was kind of fucked up. Right.

Now, I just kind of wish she'd stay dead.

I mean, I'm still mourning. Uh-huh.

You know, I'm just feeling a lot better about everything.

Yeah. Well, that's good.

You, uh...

You have really great skin.

Really? Yeah, it's like... it's really great.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

Can I touch it?

Yeah, okay.

You're so interesting.

Wow. It's flawless.

Oh, my God! Thank you.

And I can breathe through my nose around you.


Can I ask you something?


Have you noticed anything, like, really strange lately?

Like what?

Like people that you used to know suddenly reappearing.

Like you?


No. No, just...

Just forget about it.


And I'm sorry about all that Beth stuff. It's just things were really complicated.

No. We had troubles.

No, I understand.

I don't think you do.

No, I do. I do. It's hard to let go.

And she's dead, and you have to move on.

That's what I had to do with my nana.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she's dead. Right.

Oh, I'll get it.

Oh. Oh...

I got it.

Thank you, Zachery.

Oh, shit!


Are you okay? No, I think I'm stuck.

Get back in the car. Get in the fucking car.

Miss, are you okay?

Fuck off!

Hey, hey, hey. I'll snap your neck!

Calm down. Okay?

Calm down.

I've been looking all over for you. I want to go to flamingo class.

You mean flamenco? No, retard, flamingo. Let's go.

No, okay? I ran you over. And how am I a retard? You said flamingo.

A flamingo is a fucking pink bird, okay?

Stop being such a pussy. You said you wanted to dance with me.

You never do what I want to do.

Look, what about your test? What test?

Your test that you have tomorrow.

No, I want to eat. Okay, fine. What do you want to eat?

I don't know. What do you want to eat? Oh, fuck! Come on.

You're the one that's hungry. Just name a place.

I already ate. No, you pick a place.

What, you think you even want to eat food? What else would I want to eat, Zach?

Can you just make a fucking decision? Like I can't do...

I just want you to pick the place, that's all.

Oh, shit! What?

Nothing. Zachery?



Who's she? She's just a childhood friend.

From when? I don't know her. She's our moms' Jazzercise friend.

She's a friend. Hey, long time no see, right?

This is so weird.

The busboy just gave me all this cash for no reason.

"Long time no see." What is that supposed to mean?

What does that mean? Look.

Hi. Hi.

Erica, this is... Beth.


You're Beth? Yeah.

You mean another Beth?

Another Beth? What's she talking about? Is there another Beth?

Is she okay? Yeah, she's fine.

No, you're the only one. I feel like that...

Excuse me. Who the hell are you? She is my childhood friend.

Shut up. I want to hear it from her. Who are you?

Our moms Jazzercise together.

Bullshit! That's your alibi. Who's Beth? Beth, sweetheart, like...

You are, right?

Yeah, I am. Who's the other Beth? Okay, Erica, you should probably just go.

Shut up, Zach. Do you want me to call the cops?

Back off, bitch. You're not going anywhere. Ow! Ow!

Zachery. Beth!

You're weirdly strong. Beth, calm down.

I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry.

Are you on bath salts?

Stop, will you... Stop. Stop it. Ow!

Is this where you put your cock, Zachery? Okay, Beth, please fucking stop.

You better tell me what's going on.

Is this some kind of sick joke? I wish it was.

What is that?

You died a week and a half ago, and then you must have dug yourself up or something.

No, no, no. No way. That's impossible, Zach. Zach.

Listen, you went hiking by yourself. No, I didn't.

Yes, and you got bitten by a snake, and then you died.

How could I be dead, Zach? I'm not dead.

My mom and dad would have told me if I was dead.

They didn't want to hurt your feelings.

No. No.

How could I be dead if I'm alive?

You can't be both things, Zach.

You can either be dead or alive, and I'm alive.

Look at me, Zach. Feel me. Look.

Your parents think you were resurrected.

Like Jesus?

Or a zombie.

"Or a zombie"? What the fuck, Zach? What does that mean?

I'm dead.


And there's no other Beth? No.

Promise? Yeah, you're the only one, okay?

Okay, listen.


Things have been...

Things have been really difficult between us.

And it's not your fault, but...

You don't love me anymore. Yes.

You don't love me anymore. Yes, I do. Okay? I just...

Look, I can't do this anymore. You're not you.

Yes, it is me. Look at me. I'm Beth. I'm here. How could I not be Beth?

I know, but you're not the same Beth, okay?

You're violent, and you're angry, and you're destructive, and I'm scared of you, okay?

FUCK you!

I'm Beth, and I'm alive, okay?


I'm Beth.



Wait. Beth! Beth! Beth! Beth!

Put the gun down.

Oh, my God! Poppy?

Zach's one of them. Zach's one of them.

Enough with the gun, Kyle. Stop.

Hey, Zach-a-doodle-doo.

Kyle, don't shoot Poppy again. Put the gun down.

We love you, Kyle. You're my baby boy.

Oh, come on, man. You're just gonna piss him off.

No, no. Don't do that. Kyle!

Kyle. What's happening? Is this a dream?

No, okay, Kyle, this is real. Put the gun down. I'm not one of them.

How do I know that? How do I know you're not a mole, huh?

Mole? Do you even know what that means?

Whatever, asshole. Kyle, that's your brother.

Where's my Xanax? Drop the gun, okay?

I never died. You have to have died first, you douche bag.

How could I be one of them? What happened to all the love stuff?

It's not your fault. This is a confusing situation.

I came over for a little visit, my grandson pulls a gun on me. He shot you.

I'm sorry. You scared me.

What was I supposed to do?

Okay, okay. All right.


Oh. Hi, Sharon.

Can I call you back? We're in the middle...

Sharon? Hello? Hello? I've heard enough.

I am going up to the attic.

To the attic? Why? They like attics.

How the fuck do you know that? Because Beth came back too.

That's where I've been going at night.

I love an attic. I'm going up.

Well, stay. We can talk.

No, I'm going to the attic. No, no, stay. Stay. Come on.

They really like attics for some reason.

I'm going up to the attic. So go already.

Well, I don't have to go. Well, which is it?

Will somebody please tell me what the fuck is going on here?

Don't point. Who is that?

Who is that? Who is that? Okay.

Okay, relax, Kyle. Aah!

What are you doing in our house?

What happened to all the Formica? Oh, my God!

It's the old owners.

Who are you, with the gun? This bastard's the one that shot me.

Poppy, it's me. It's Kyle. Kyle?

Okay, Mom, Dad, Kyle, we need to get out of here, okay? It is not too late.

Nobody move. Everybody just put your hands where I can see them.

I paid $28,000 for this house.

Twenty eight... When was that?

What are you... Stop it already. Enough.

We have got to get out of here. Come on.

I'm not going anywhere.

This is my house and my attic.

I fought in World War ll, and I know attics.

Don't get upset. Sit. Just a minute.

Do you want something?

Hello? We got to talk.

Grandpa came back, and the old owners are here, and Kyle's shooting everybody, and I just really want to sleep.

We need to find a scientist.

You broke your promise, Zach. I'm waiting outside right now.

Is Beth there?

Yes. Okay.

How about Freddie Fischman?

He passed away. Ah.

Thank God. Yeah, you never liked him.

I got to go. Where are you going?

Maury's outside. I'll be back in a second, and then we can all leave before it's too late.

You're gonna go play chess now? Are you nuts?

Just start packing, and I will be back.

Is that Chuck Brenner?

Oh, wow. It is. I used to love him. Good eye, Kyle.

Okay, so finally, they're done with the stupid emergency broadcast test.

It is not a test. The dead are coming back, okay?

Just start packing. I'll be back.



I think it's believable.

Where's Beth?

Get in.

What do you want?

Zach, I need you to talk to Beth.

I need you to tell her she's not dead and take back whatever it was you said.

No, I can't do that, okay? It's the truth.

I need to get... No, no.

You broke your promise, and the world has gone to shit, Zach.

That's not my fault. Yes, it is, and you need to take it back.

Look, I tried to keep this a secret, okay? But things got out of control.

She blew up a lifeguard stand, and she attacked this girl.

Well, she never should have left the house.

You did that.

Pearline can fix this.

Okay, she's from Haiti. They make zombies. She knew.

Pearline could barely make the beds.

You really think Pearline had something to do with my daughter's resurrection?

Yeah, resurrection as a zombie.

Stop staying that.

I've had enough of this Dracula shit.

Look, I will take it back, but you have to give me Pearline's address.

Fuck Pearline. She'd help.

Pearline is a dead end. What have you got to lose?

Huh? Just give it a shot, all right? What is the worse that could happen?

All right. Fine.

You will talk to Beth, and you will tell her she's not dead, and that you'll be together forever.

All right? Okay, right now. No. Right now.

Right now, we have to go right now.

Beth. Zach, you have to tell her.

Beth, honey?

Beth, we need to talk.

Shut up. I'm on the phone. With who?

Andy. Andy? Who the fuck is that?

Somebody that actually cares about me. What, are you jealous?

She's on the phone. She'll be off in a minute.

She's on the phone. She's talking. Zach, I need you to focus, okay?

You'll talk to her. You'll tell her. Don't worry. You guys will work this out.

Honey! Oh.

Beth. Oh, Bethy, honey.

What was that? What's that noise? Door. She went through the door.

Oh, no, the sliding glass door... What the fuck?

It's your fault, Maury. It's my fault?

Fuck. Oh, God. Fuck. The door works when you lift and pull.

She walked through the door.

Oh, Bethy, what did you do, honey?

What? I'm dead. I'm alive. I'm dead. I'm alive.

Zach, you have to tell her.

I'm alive. I'm dead. I'm alive.

I beg of you. Please, Zach. Please. I don't know...


Zach, go and tell her you're gonna be together forever.

Are you fucking crazy?

Please, I really don't know how much more of this I can take.

Look, if I tell her she's not dead, that's not gonna make anything any better.

It's worth a shot.

She's going to eat me.


He's coming, honey.

Make it end. Please, Zach, make it end.

Look, where's the address?

What? What address?

Pearline's! Pearline's address.

No, I called her. She's not there. When? Like just now?

You need Pearline's address? Yes.

Listen, drop the address. You need to talk to Beth.

Look, we had a deal. I can get it.

I know Pearline's address. What? Geenie, what are you doing?

There it is. It's here.

Hey. We had a deal.

Geenie! What?

What are you doing? Why did you give that to him?

Don't yell at me! Whose side are you on?

What the fuck?

Hey. Beth, this isn't a good idea.

You should go back inside. Why?

Zach. Shit! He's coming. He's coming.



I'm dead. I'm alive. I'm dead. I'm alive. I'm dead. I'm alive. I'm dead. I'm alive.

I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm alive.

Will you fucking stop? Why are you being mean to me?

Because we're taking a break. You shouldn't even be here.

Dad said we're going to be together forever.

Beth, you ate a guy.

Oh. What do you want from me, Zach? I'm a fucking zombie! Zombies eat guys!

Hey, I will be right back, okay? Fuck you. You want me to go away.

Beth, just chill out. Everything's going to be fine.

We're going to make this better, and then we'll go hiking.

Really? You promise? Yeah.

Just go easy on the interior, baby.

Who's there? It's Zach Orfman. I'm looking for Pearline.

Is anyone else out there? No, it's just me. It's cool.

Pearline is my cousin. Where is she?

She took off a couple days ago. Okay, where did she go?

I don't know, man. She just packed her shit and took off.

Well, did she know something about the zombies? Is that why she left?

Why? Because she's Haitian? Uh... Yeah.

We don't all do voodoo, you know. So she had nothing to do with this?

What did I just tell you? Okay, I'm sorry.

Are you sure that she's not in there? Look, I am not shitting you.

I haven't heard from her. She's gone.

No, but she left the Slocums', right before Beth came back, right before all the zombies came, so she must have known something.

Slocums'? Yeah.

That's not why she quit. Well, why then?

She quit, because Mr. Slocum wanted her to touch his penis.

His what? What? His penis.

He wanted her to... He would walk around all naked. He had sex problems.

Maury? Yeah.

Oh, my God, that's so fucked up.

Yes, there's a lot of fucked up shit going around here.

Dead people walking around. No TV.

Have to sit here and listen to some smooth jazz shit.

I hate that shit, you know. What is that?

Excuse me, I think I'm lost. Shouldn't this be a car wash?

No. I don't think so. Huh.

Come on, Bethy. Come on. Shit!

Beth! Beth!

I guess Pearline wasn't much help.

Let her go. Why is it dark?

Zach, is that you? It's okay, sweetie.

What did Pearline say? She said that your father...

Bethy, here.

Maury, look at yourself.

Okay? Look at what you've become.

Zach's going to say goodbye now, sweetie.

Aren't you, Zach? No, Zach. No, Zach.

No, Zach's going to make me better. He loves me. We're in love.

We're going to go hiking, right? Say it! Yes.

I've been thinking about it.

Say we're gonna be together forever.

Say it. Together forever!

There is no forever.

Come on, sweetie. Come on, baby.

Who are you?




Feed me. I'm hungry.

I know you're hungry, honey. That's my hungry baby, yeah.

Geenie, what are you doing? She's got to eat something.

I just don't know why it was all... Okay.

Okay, where's Maury? Where's Maury? I don't... Oh.

He tried to, um...

Beth accidently... Jesus Christ.

He's dead, Zach. What?

She ate him.

Geenie, you should go, and I will take care of Beth.

And... Yeah. I can't. I can't.

No. No. Geenie, you've done enough.

But... Okay, just go and find safety, and it's okay.

It's going to be okay.

It's okay. Keep your hand raised. Up all the way up.

There you go. Okay.

Can I just give you the camera? Yeah.

All right, if you need me, I'll just be in the other room.


Hey, Beth. Are you okay?

Hungry, hungry, hungry!

Yeah, well, don't you think you ate enough for a little while?

I can't help it.

Not like you fucking care!

I'm really sorry about all that "together forever" stuff.

Okay, but I just...

Together forever. Together forever.

Beth, all of my family was just massacred, so if you could just be a little bit more supportive.

Together forever. Together forever.


Beth, let's go hiking.

Hiking? Hiking! Yeah, let's go hiking.

Right? Let's just go. I mean, you always wanted to, and I never did, and now's our opportunity, so let's just do it, right?

Let's just do it. Let's just do it.

Aren't you afraid of me?


Promise? Everyone else I love is dead.

So, you're all I have right now.

I have to tell my mom.

Mom! Mom!

Hey, no, it's cool. Let's just go.

But don't eat me. Don't eat me. And let's just go.


Kyle, you're alive!

Hit the deck. What?

Hit the deck. Wait, no, no, no, no. Stop.

She'll eat brains out of your cranium, Zach.

No, she' got a stove on her back. We're going hiking.

What are you talking about? Move. I got to shoot her in the head. Move.

Excuse me.

I'm saving you. Get down.

No, no, what about all the burnt bodies at the house and Mom and Dad?

It was horrible, Zach.

I shot them all.

You shot Mom and Dad?

No. No, I didn't shoot Mom and Dad. They're at the Levine'.

Oh. We cleared eagle's nest.

I'm working on Briar Grove now, but I shot Poppy in the head.

Hey, that's okay. That's okay.

All I ever wanted to do was shoot people.

They were going to eat everybody.

You did the right thing. They were suffering.

Yeah. They were suffering.

But hey, maybe the shooting, maybe that's not the best dream, Kyle.

Maybe you should think of a different dream, right? A better one.

Yeah. Listen, Zach, you're a great brother. Thanks.

And I'm really sorry I didn't believe you about Beth.

That's okay.

What's with the jumpsuit?

I forgot to tell you. I got deputized, man. I'm part of the resistance.

It's so sweet. We have choppers. We have AR-15s. We have Stinger missiles.

We're gonna win this war, Zach. I swear to God, we're gonna win this war.

Wait, no. Stop, Kyle.

I'm serious. Just let me do this. Let me take her for a hike.

Are you out of your mind? Look at her, Zach.

Zach. Zach.

Okay, I see how it is.

Here, you do it. Zach. Zach.

You got to shoot her in the head, though, all right?

No. She's going to kill us all.

They eat everybody. They all eat people. I know.

Please, just be quiet and let me... She'll fucking eat you.

Let me take her for a hike and clean my conscience.

She's tasted the flesh. Now, she's got to die.

I can't do it. I love her.

You said it was okay to shoot Grammy and Poppy.

You said it was right. Zach.

And she's suffering too. Okay, we're all suffering.

Just let me take her for a hike, and then I'll meet you at the Levine'.

What's going on?

I'm doing my job protecting Briar Grove. We're going on a hike, baby.

Just this one thing.

All right, do what you got to do, Romeo. Zach!

Do what you got to do, but be at the Levine' at 1600, all right?

Zach. You know when that is? It's 4:00 p.m.

Do what you got to do. Kyle.

Do what you got to do. Kyle!

Do what you got to do.

White Lightning Strike, this is Red Dog Leader. Briar Grave's a 47.

What's a 47 again? All clear, man. Come on.


BETH; Hiking.

It's pretty. It's beautiful.


Don't do that, okay?



Yeah. Yeah, it's really soothing.


You were right.

It's a really beautiful view.

I wish we could flamenco dance.

Flamenco dance.


But we got to do a lot of things.

And I never got to say goodbye to you,

but at least I get to now.

Oh, fuck! I can't...

I can't do this. This fucking sucks.

Why? I thought you liked it.

No, I do. It's not...

This is not the... Not the hike.

Look, you were right, okay? Hey.


Thank you for coming back and for giving me a second chance.

I, um...

I'm sorry the whole world went to shit.

But it was totally worth it, and I'm sorry if I screwed everything up.

No, no. No.

I, uh...

I'll always love you, Beth.


I love you too, Zach.

Good bye.

Where are you going?

Hi, Mr. Levin. All right, you made it. Good. Come on.

You hungry? We got bagels. They're frozen, but they're good.

Uh, no, I'm fine.

Mom! Dad!

Zachery? Mom!

Oh, my God. Zach, my baby. Oh!

Oh, you okay? I missed you guys so much.

Oh, my God, are you hurt? There's blood all over your shirt.

Yeah, it's Beth's.

Okay, so thank God you're okay. Yeah.

I love you guys so much.

Oh, honey, we're so sorry we didn't believe you about the monsters.

We didn't know. I know. It's okay. It's okay.

It's just really good to see you.

That's going to come off. My shirt's a mess.

Hey, come here. Look who's here.


Zach. Oh.


I stuck a tent pole through my Nana's head.

She's a bit traumatized, but she'll be okay.

Doesn't she look good?

Yeah. Yeah, right?

Where's Kyle?

Right here. 1600. You made it.


That's good.

I did what I had to do.

Where's my Desert Eagle? I thought you were gonna give my Desert Eagle back.

Oh, well, I tossed it into the ravine. Why?

I need my gun. I thought you guys had bazookas and shit.

You're such an asshole. That cost me a lot of money.

Look, I'm sorry, okay? I used it to murder my girlfriend.

I didn't really feel like holding on to it.

Hey, look, we need to focus on what is next.

Exactly. All right.

Everybody, listen up. I've got some provisions.

I think we need to get far away from here where the zombies can't get to us.

We cleared this sector, Zach. We're safe here. Don't worry about it.

Like where? Machu Picchu.

Macho what? Where's that?

Zach, we cleared the sector. Kyle, stop interrupting your brother.

Act your age. Macho what?

Machu Picchu. It's remote and safe. Look, I've got a map.

I think if we take side streets and sidewalks along the I-5...

Viewers are encouraged to visit the YWCA where there are generators and water.

There have been reports coming in of some unresolved incidents, but these appear to be isolated cases.


Just to rehash, things appear to be back to normal after what is certainly the most curious series of events to befall this community since the...

Zach, we should get going.

The contractor's gonna be at the house any minute.


In the back. Get.

You Okay?


I think so. Are you?


I'm kind of hungry.

Yeah, me too.

Um... Do you want to go to dinner?

Yeah. I mean, do you want to get something?

Yeah, if you want to. Okay.