Little Shop of Horrors (1986) Script

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Little shop Little shop of terror Call a cop Little shop of horrors No, oh, oh, no Little shop Little shop of horrors Bop she-bop Little shop of terror Watch 'em drop Little shop of horrors No, oh, oh, no Shing-a-ling What a creepy thing to be happening Look out, look out Look out, look out Shang-a-lang Feel the sturm and drang in the air Yeah, yeah, yeah Sha-la-la-la Stop right where you are Don't you move a thing You better You better Tellin' you you better Tell your mama Something's gonna get her She better Everybody better beware

Ooh, here it comes, baby Tell the world, baby Oh, oh, no Oh, hit the dirt, baby Red alert, baby Oh, oh, no Oh, oh, no Alley-oop Haul it off the stoop Child, I'm warnin' you Look out, look out Look out, look out Run away Child you gonna pay if you stay, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah Look around Something's comin' down Down the street for you You betcha You betcha You betcha butt You betcha Best believe it Something's come to get ya You betcha You better watch your back in this town Come-a, come-a, come-a Little shop Little shop of horrors Bop she-bop You'll never stop the terror Little shop Little shop of horrors No, oh, oh, no Oh, oh, no Oh, oh, no

MUSHNIK: Seymour, what's going on down there?

Very little, Mr. Mushnik!


Until the weekend.

And at his press conference today, President Kennedy fielded questions...

...concerning last Thursday's total eclipse of the sun... unprecedented astrological phenomenon which has baffled the nation.

Ah! So, she finally decides to come to work!

Uh, good morning, Mr. Mushnik.

What morning? It's almost closing time. Not that we had a customer.

Seymour, what in the name of God is going on down there?

Unh, Audrey, would you go down and see what he's...

Audrey. Audrey, where did you get that shiner?

Uh... Uh, shiner?

Audrey, that greasy boyfriend of yours is beating up on you again?

Look, I know it's none of my business...

...but I'm beginning to think he's maybe not such a nice boy.

I got these pots unloaded for you, Mr...

Seymour, look what you've done to the inventory!

Don't yell at Seymour, Mr. Mushnik.

Hi, Audrey. You look radiant today. Oh.

Is that new eye makeup?


I'll help him clean it up before any of the customers get here.

That should give you plenty of time.

Oh, God, what an existence I got. Misfit employees, bums on the sidewalk... is lousy. My life is a living hell!

Hey, you. Urchins!

Shoo! Shoo! Move! Move!

Move! Go away! No loitering!

Man, I wasn't loitering. Were you, Crystal?

Not me, Ronette. Were you, Chiffon?

You ought to be in school!

Yeah, well we on a split shift.

Right! We went to school until fifth grade, then we split.

So? How do you intend to better yourselves?

Better ourselves? You heard what he said? Better ourselves?

Mister, when you're from Skid Row, ain't no such thing.

♫ Alarm goes off at 7 And you start uptown You put in your eight hours For the powers That have always been Sing it, child.

'Til it's 5 p.m.

Then you go Downtown Where the folks are broke You go downtown Where your life's a joke You go downtown Where you buy your token You go Home to Skid Row Yes you go Downtown Where the cabs don't stop Downtown Where the food is slop Downtown Where the hop-heads flop in the snow Down on Skid Row Uptown you cater to a million jerks Uptown you're messengers And mailroom clerks Eating all your lunches at the hot-dog carts The bosses take your money And they break your hearts And uptown you cater to a million whores You disinfect terrazzo on their bathroom floors The jobs are really menial You make no bread And then at 5:00 you head By subway Downtown Where the guys are drips Downtown Where they rip your slips Downtown Where relationships are no go Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Down on Skid Row Poor All my life I've always been poor I keep askin' God what I'm for And he tells me Gee, I'm not sure Sweep that floor, kid!

Oh! I started life as an orphan A child of the street Here on Skid Row He took me in, gave me shelter A bed, crust of bread and a job Treats me like dirt Calls me a slob Which I am So I live Downtown That's your home address You live Downtown When your life's a mess You live Downtown Where depression's just status quo Down on Skid Row Someone show me a way to get outta here

'Cause I constantly pray I'll get outta here Please won't somebody say I'll get outta here Someone give me my shot Or I'll rot here Downtown, there's no rules for us Show me how and I will, I'll get outta here Downtown, 'cause it's dangerous I'll start climbin' up hill and get outta here Downtown, where the rainbow'sjust a no-show Someone tell me I still could get outta here Someone tell lady luck that I'm stuck here Gee it sure would be swell to get out of here Bid the gutter farewell and get outta here I'd move heaven and hell to get outta Skid I'd do I-don't-know-what to get outta Skid But a hell of a lot to get outta Skid People tell me there's not a way outta Skid But believe me I gotta get outta Skid Row

Six o'clock and we haven't sold so much as a fern.

All right! Aah.

That's it! Forget it. Don't bother coming in tomorrow.

Aah. You don't mean... You can't...

Wha...? What don't I mean? I'm through. Forget it.

Kaput. You can't.

Kaput! Extinct. I'm closing this God-and-customer-forsaken place.

Ah. Mr. Mushnik...

...forgive me for saying so, sir, but has it ever occurred to you...

...that maybe what the firm needs is to move in a new direction?

Uh, what Seymour's trying to say is...

Uh, Seymour, why don't you run downstairs and bring up...

...that strange and interesting new plant you've been working on?

You see, Mr. Mushnik...

...some of those exotic plants Seymour's been tinkering around with...

...are really unusual.

And we thought maybe some of those strange and interesting new plants...

...prominently displayed and advertised, would attract business.

I'm afraid it isn't feeling very well today.

There. Now, isn't that bizarre?

At least.

What kind of a weirdo plant is that, Seymour?

I don't know. I think it's some kind of flytrap...

...but I haven't been able to identify it in any of my books.

I gave it my own name though. I call it an Audrey II.

After me? I hope you don't mind.

You see, sir, if you were to put a strange and interesting plant like this... in the window, then maybe...

Maybe what? Maybe what?

Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?

Just because you put a strange and interesting plant... the window, people don't suddenly...

Excuse me. I couldn't help noticing that strange and interesting plant.

What is it? It's an Audrey II.

I've never seen anything like it before. No one has.

Where did you get it?

Well... remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?

♫ Da-doo I was walking in the wholesale flower district that day.

CHORUS: Shoop da-doo And I passed by this place where this old Chinese man...

CHORUS: Chang da-doo He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttings...

Snip da-doo Because he knows, you see, that strange plants are my hobby.

Da-da-da da-da da-doo SEYMOUR: He didn't have anything unusual there that day.

Nope, da-doo SEYMOUR: So I was just about to, you know, walk on by.

♫ Good for you Ooh, ooh, she-shoo-bop Shoo-bop When suddenly, and without warning, there was this:

CHORUS: Total eclipse of the sun SEYMOUR: It got very dark.

And there was this strange humming sound like something from another world.

CHORUS: Da-doo And when the light came back this weird plant was just sitting there.

CHORUS: Oops-ee-doo SEYMOUR: Just, you know, stuck in, among the zinnias.

Audrey II SEYMOUR: I could have sworn it hadn't been there before.

But the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways...

...for a dollar ninety-five.

Sha la la, la la la, la la la Doo

Well, that's an unusual story, and a fascinating plant.

Oh, while I'm here, I might as well take $50 worth of roses.

Fifty dollars?

Can you break a hundred?

A hundred? Uh, no.

Well, then I'll just have to take twice as many, won't I?

Twice as many? Twice as many?

Twice as many!

Twice as many.

That plant in the window, it's simply amazing!

That plant in the window, wherever did you get it?

Look, there it is, Marge. Oh, my gosh, it's peculiar.


Thank you! Thank you very much, sir! Thank you!

Thank you! Come again!

Come and look at the weirdo plant some more!

It's just gonna get bigger and more interesting. Ha-ha-ha.

What, what, what? Just don't stand there! Quick, quick!

Put the plant back in the... Oh, what did you call it?

Audrey II.

Put that Audrey II back in the window where the passersby can see it.

Oh, my God!

I never thought this could happen! Oh, my children...

...I'm taking us all out to dinner tonight!

Oh, I'd love to, Mr. Mushnik, but I have a date.

With that same "nogoodnik"?

I'm telling you, Audrey, you don't need a date with him. You need major medical.

He's a rebel, Mr. Mushnik, but he... He makes good money.


...he's the only fellow I got.

Enjoy dinner. Good night, Seymour.

SEYMOUR: Good night, Audrey.

Poor girl.

Are we still going out?

You're not going anywhere, Krelborn.

You're staying right here and taking care of that sick plant!

I told you it's been giving me trouble. The Audrey II is not a healthy girl.

Strictly between us, neither is the Audrey I.

If only I knew what breed it was.

Who cares what breed it is? Look what it's done for business.

I know. So work, Seymour.

Nurse this plant back to health. I'm counting on you.

I know. You do?

I do. So fix. Good night.

Aw, Twoey, I don't know what else I can do for you.

Are you sickly, little plant, or are you just plain stubborn?

What is it you want?

What is it you need?

♫ I've given you sunshine I've given you dirt You've given me nothin'

But heartache and hurt I'm beggin' you sweetly I'm down on my knees Oh, please Grow for me I've given you plant food And water to sip I've given you potash You've given me zip Oh, God how I mist you Oh, pod how you tease Now please Grow for me I've given you southern exposure To get you to thrive I've pinched you back hard Like I'm supposed to You're barely alive I've tried you at levels of moisture From desert to mud I've given you grow-lights And mineral supplements What do you want from me? Blood?

Ow! Damn roses. Damn thorns.

♫ I've given you sunlight I've given you rain Looks like you're not happy 'Less I open a vein Ugh.

I'll give you a few drops If that'll appease

Oh, please

Oh, oh, oh, please Grow for me

♫ W-S-K-I-D Skid Row radio You're listening to radio station WSKID, home of the hits.

In just a few minutes we'll bring you Wink Wilkinson's Weird World...

...the show that talks to wonderful people who bring in their weird things.

But first, the weather.

Thank you very much, Tom.

The weather today will be partly cloudy with a chance of rain. Sorry about that.

The high temperature will be in the low 50s tonight... get out those electric blankets.

Tomorrow we'll start off with morning haze...

Excuse me. I was told to come... Yeah, you're next.

MAN: High tomorrow should be in the low 70s...

...with the low in the high 60s.

In the suburbs, the sun should be out through most of the day...

...except for some cloudy patches in the evening...

...but I don't think it'll affect your barbecue.

The barometer reading should be 21.6. The wind will be about...

...uh, I'd say 12 miles per hour... watch it out there on those boats.

The sun will be rising tomorrow at about 7:17 a. M...

...and it should be setting around 6:29 p.m., but check me if I'm wrong.

A cold front is moving in from the southwest.

But it should brighten up by noon.

The weekend should be mild. For you average-mean-temperature fans...

...the average mean temperature for the season is 69 degrees, not too bad.

Thank you, and back to you.

MAN: You're listening to radio station WSKID.

And now, Wink Wilkinson's Weird World, with your host, Wink Wilkinson.

Hi everybody! It's Weird Wink Wilkinson, laughing and scratching at you.

How's everybody doing today?

I got a bit of a stiff neck. Let me fix this up.

Ooh, that feels a lot better! I got a great show for you today...

...with some wonderful weird stuff!

What are you doing here?

What? You... Please, lady, no!

Put your clothes back on! You can't do this to me!

What if your husband were to walk in?

I'm here. I love your show...

...but I've got to kill you with this machine gun.

Oh, you got me!

I feel... I feel so very weird!

Our first guest is a young man... probably read about in the newspapers, by the name of, um...

Seymour Krelborn. Is that correct?

Who has discovered a new breed of plant hitherto unknown on this planet.

Let me play you down to your seat, Seymour.

Hello, Seymour!


Hello, Wink.

I wish you folks at home could see this.

Seymour, where did you get such a weird plant?

Well, you remember that total eclipse of the sun about a week ago?

Thus we conclude our interview with the young botanical...

Mind if I call you a genius? Oh, hoo.

SEYMOUR: Gosh, no!

The genius who's discovered this amazing, unidentified plant.

I'd like to remind our listeners that the Audrey II is on display...

...exclusively at Mushnik's Skid Row Florists.

Shh! Am I late? Did I miss it?

Mushnik's. Until next week...

The address. This is Wilkinson saying...

The address! Six days a week...

I said, mention the address!

♫ Skid Row radio Ugh. Oh, well. It's still good advertising.

Seymour's first radio broadcast.

I wanted to hear it so bad. I tried to be on time, but...

Don't tell me. You got tied up.

No, just handcuffed a little.

Girl. Hey, girl.

I don't know who this mess is you been hanging out with...

...but he is hazardous to your health.

That's for sure. But I can't leave him.

Why not? Oh, he'd get angry.

And if he does this to me when he likes me, imagine what he'd do if he ever got mad.

So? Dump the chump. Get another guy and let him protect you.

How about the little jerk with the glasses?

Seymour? That's him.

Oh, we're just friends.

I don't even deserve a sweet, considerate...

...suddenly successful guy like Seymour.

That poor child suffers from low self-image.

You got a point. She got a problem.

♫ I know Seymour's the greatest But I'm dating a semi-sadist So I got a black eye And my arm's in a cast

Still, that Seymour's a cutie Well, if not, he's got inner beauty And I dream of a place Where we could be together at last

A matchbox of our own A fence of real chain link A grill out on the patio Disposal in the sink A washer and a dryer And an ironing machine In a tract house that we share Somewhere that's green

He rakes and trims the grass He loves to mow and weed I cook like Betty Crocker And I look like Donna Reed There's plastic on the furniture To keep it neat and clean In the Pine-Sol scented air Somewhere that's green

Somewhere that's green Between our frozen dinner And our bed-time: 9:15 We snuggle watching Lucy On our big, enormous Twelve-inch screen I'm his December Bride He's father, he knows best The kids play Howdy Doody As the sun sets in the west A picture out of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine

Far from Skid Row

I dream we'll go

Somewhere that's Green

♫ Poor Seymour pushed a broom Nothing in his news but gloom and doom Then he lit a fuse and give him room He started an explosion Holy cow That thing went bang, kaboom And he's havin' some fun now Now Some fun now Hot damn Ain't he havin' some fun now Yes, ma'am He's a havin' some fun now Oh, boy Ain't he havin' some fun now

All right!

Now! Some fun now Sho 'nuff Ain't he havin' some fun now Hot stuff He's a havin' some fun now Oh, boy Ain't he havin' some fun now Now Some fun now Good God, good God He's havin' some fun now Oh, boy, oh, boy Yeah, he's a havin' some fun now Oh, boy Ain't he havin' some fun now Some fun now

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me!


Hello? Hold on.

Uh, yes, yes. Yes, Mrs. Shiva.

Uh, no, Mrs. Shiva. Right away, Mrs. Shiva.

Seymour! I'd just like to pay for these, please.

MUSHNIK: Seymour!

Did you send out the order for Mrs. Shiva?

Mrs. Shiva? I forgot!

You forgot?

You forgot!

Do you hear this, God? He forgot!

Are you listening, customers? He forgot!

Audrey, quick! We've got to do an emergency arrangement.

Birthday? Wedding? Baby?

Funeral. Hand me the lilies.

Mr. Mushnik's real mad at me, Audrey. I keep forgetting things.

Scissors. You got a lot on your mind.

Mind? What mind? The Shivas are our most important funereal account.

A big enormous family, they're dropping off like flies!

Sometimes I think Mr. Mushnik's too hard on you. Glue.

That's okay.

After all, I owe him everything. Glitter.

He took me out of the Skid Row Home for Boys when I was just a little tyke...

...gave me a warm place to stay, floors to sweep, toilets to clean...

...and every other Sunday off.

You know, I think you ought to raise your expectations, Seymour.

Now that you're getting successful, I mean.

It's clear you suffer from a low self-image.

And it's high time you get it fixed.

Why don't you go out and do something nice for yourself like... some new clothes?

Oh, I'm a very bad shopper, Audrey.

I don't have good taste like you.


Well, I could help you pick things out.

You could? Sure.

You'd go shopping with me?


You'd be seen with me in a public place like a department store?



Oh, I can't tonight. I got a date.

Again, this date?

Some date.

A date gives you a corsage, not a multiple fracture.

I'm telling you, Audrey, he's not a good, clean kind of boy.

He's a professional.

What kind of a professional drives a motorcycle...

...and wears a black leather jacket?

♫ When I was younger, just a bad little kid My momma noticed funny things I did Like shootin' puppies with a BB gun I'd poison guppies And when I was done I'd find a pussy cat and bash in its head That's when my momma said

What did she say?

She said My boy, I think someday You'll find a way To make your natural tendencies pay You'll be a dentist You'll be a dentist You have a talent for causing things pain Pain Son, be a dentist Son, be a dentist People will pay you to be inhumane That's inhumane Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less Aah!

Son, be a dentist You'll be a success

WOMAN: Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque Watch him suck up that gas Oh, my God He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good Who wants their teeth done By the Marquis de Sade?

Oh, that hurts! Wait, I'm not numb.

Eh, shut up. Open wide, here I come!

♫ I am your dentist Goodness gracious And I enjoy the career that I picked You love it I am your dentist And I get off on the pain I inflict You really love it I thrill when I drill a bicuspid It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted

And though it may cause my patients distress No, no, no.

Somewhere Somewhere in heaven above me I know I know that my momma's proud of me Oh, Momma.

♫ 'Cause I'm a dentist And a success Aah!

Say, "Ahh."

Say, "Ahh."

Say, "Ahh!"

Now spit!

Excuse me, sir, you can't go in there right now.

Relax. You want some nitrous oxide?

No thanks. Suit yourself.

We're closed.

Well... Oh, it's all right, Seymour.

This is my date, my boyfriend.

Seymour, Orin Scrivello.

D.D.S. Hey!

I know you. Sure, I saw you on the news.

I even know your name. Now, let's see. It's, uh, Cecil. No, no, no.

It's, uh, Cedric. No.

Give me a chance.

It's, uh, ahem...

Simon? Seymour!

Somebody talking to you? Oh, no. Excuse me.

Excuse me, what?

Excuse me, doctor.

That's better.

I know! Sure! You're the plant guy, right?

Well, hey! That means it must be in there, huh?

Well! That is incredible.

What do you call that thing? Audrey II.

Cute name. It's catchy.

Nice plant. Big.

Uh, shouldn't we be leaving now?

You're quite the little chatterbox tonight, ain't you?

I'm sorry. Sorry, what?

Sorry, doctor. Doctor. Sorry, doctor.

You've got to train them, huh, stud? Heh.

Listen, here's my card.

You ever need a root canal or anything like that, give me a buzz, you hear?

Now, I'm serious. It's on the house.


You got the handcuffs?

They're right in my bag.

You ought to see the way he treats her, Twoey.

She deserves a prince, not a sadistic creep like him.

The man's a total disgrace to the dental profession.

I don't know what's going on sometimes.

Seems like the whole world's going crazy.

At least we got each other, right?

I'm gonna turn in, Twoey. I'll see you in the morning.

SEYMOUR: Oh, boy. Here we go again.

Come on, I haven't got much left.

Just give me a few days to heal, okay?

Then we'll start again on the left hand and... Feed me.

I beg your pardon?

Feed me.

Twoey, you talked! You opened your trap, your thing, and you said...

Feed me, Krelborn! Feed me now!


I can't! I'm starving!

Look, maybe I can squeeze a little more out of this one.

Ooh! More! More! More! More! There isn't any more!

What do you want me to do? Slit my wrists?


Oh, boy! Look, I've got an idea.

I'll go to Shmendrik's and pick you up some nice chopped sirloin.

Must be blood.

Twoey, that's disgusting. Must be fresh.

I don't want to hear this.

Feed me! Does it have to be human?

Feed me! Does it have to be mine?

Feed me! Where am I supposed to get it?

♫ Feed me, Seymour Feed me all night long Ha! That's right, boy!

♫ You can do it Feed me, Seymour Feed me all night long

'Cause if you feed me, Seymour I can grow up big and strong Ha-ha-ha. You eat blood, Audrey II. Let's face it.

How am I supposed to keep on feeding you? Kill people?

I'll make it worth your while. What?

You think this is all coincidence, baby?

The sudden success around here? The press coverage?

Look, you're a plant. An inanimate object.

Does this look inanimate to you, punk?

If I can talk and I can move, who's to say I can't do anything I want?

Like what? Like deliver, pal. Aah!

Like, see you get everything your secret, greasy heart desires.

♫ Would you like a Cadillac car?

Or a guest-shot on Jack Paar?

How about a date with Hedy Lamarr You gonna get it If you want it, baby Ha, ha How'd ya like to be a big wheel?

Dining out for every meal I'm the plant can make it all real You're gonna get it Hey, I'm your genie I'm your friend I'm your willin' slave Take a chance Feed me, yeah You know the kind of eats The kind of red-hot treats The kind of sticky licky sweets I crave Ow! Come on, Seymour Don't be a putz Trust me and your life will surely Rival King Tut's Show a little initiative, boy Work up some guts And you'll get it I don't know Come on, boy.

I don't know Lighten up.

I have so So many strong Reservations Tell it to the Marines.

Should I go And perform Mutilations Ha-ha-ha

You didn't have nothin' Till you met me Come on, kid What will it be?

Money? Girls?

One particular girl How 'bout that Audrey?

Think it over There must be someone you can 86 Real quiet like And get me some lunch Think about a room at the Ritz Wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz A little nookie gonna clean up those zits And you'll get it, uh huh Gee, I'd like a Harley machine Now you're cookin' Toolin' around like I was James Dean Yeah, yeah Makin' all the guys on the corner turn green So go get it! Whoo whoo whoo If you wanna be profound If you really gotta justify Take a breath and look around A lot of folks deserve to die Wait a minute, wait a minute! That's not a very nice thing to say.

But it's true, isn't it? No!

I don't know anyone who deserves to get chopped up and fed to a hungry plant!


Sure you do. Ha-ha-ha.

Stupid woman! Christ, what a frigging scatterbrain!

I'm sorry, doctor!

I'm sorry, doctor! Oh!

Falls off the motorcycle!

I'm clumsy, doctor! I'm clumsy, doctor!

ORIN: Musses my hair!

Get the door open, you little slut!

I'm trying, doctor! I'm trying, doctor!

Get the Vitalis. Quick, the Vitalis!

I'm out of it!

ORIN: What?

♫ If you want a rationale It isn't very hard to see No, no, no Stop and think it over, pal The guy sure looks like plant food to me The guy sure looks like plant food to me Yeah, ow!

He's so nasty treatin' her rough Yeah, smackin' her around And always talkin' so tough You need blood And he's got more than enough I need blood and he's got more than enough You need blood and he's got more than enough I need blood and he's got more than enough So go get it

Hey, does that mean they're finished? My turn?


Whoo! What happened? What did he do? Tell me everything!

Yeah. Well, they have to do that to remove the jaw.

Ah, consider yourself very, very lucky.

Next! It's me, Arthur Denton! I'm next!

Nurse! Hmm?

Does, uh, that have an appointment?

Ask it. I'm off duty.

I've been saving all month for this. I think I need a root canal.

I'm sure I need a long, slow root canal.

Let's go. I have a history of dental problems.

ORIN: Shut up!

Yes, doctor.

I went to a terrible dentist Wednesday, who was recommended to me... somebody that I saw on Monday...

...who is the brother of a man that I usually see on Sundays.

And their mother taught them everything they know.

She's gifted, but quite elderly. People think she shouldn't be working.

But I go to her because...

...I'm just incredibly devoted to her strength. Huh.

She can't really see who you are, but she knows the sound of your voice.

If you tell her where it is, the problem, she eventually finds the trouble and she does it.

I wish I had that stamina. I can only go so long.

That's how I want to be. I don't ever want to have to be just...


Yes, doctor.

I remember the first time I went to a dentist.

I thought, "What a neat job! If only I were a dentist."

The dentist I went to had the greatest car. He had a Corvette. I thought, "My gosh.

Everybody calls him 'Doctor, ' and he's not really a doctor."

Oh, my God.

"If only I got out of here okay." But then after everything was all finished...

...they gave me a candy bar. I thought, "This is what I get?

A candy bar?"

This is what you do. You go through a thing and get chocolate out of it.

Getting to work with incredible professionals who use incredibly wonderful equipment...

Let's take a look at that mouth.

Say, "Aah!"

Aah, candy bar!

Ohh! Candy bar! Candy bar!

Oh, that's great. Come on!

Gosh! Oh, God. Do it again.

Oh, God, doctor. Whoo!

Yeah, aw, great!

Oh, you are something special.

You are something special! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Mm, aw, oh!

Thank you!

Yeah, thank you!

Oh, my God. It's your professionalism that I respect.

Oh, God! Don't stop, doc! Don't stop! Come on! More!

Yeah! Yeah, come on! Yeah!

What do you want? Say, "Please!" Ah, ah, ah.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

Great! Oh!

I'm gonna get a candy bar! I'm gonna get a candy bar!

Come on! Come on.

Oh, yeah! Yeah, oh!


Oh, yeah! Oh, yes!

Yes! Yeah.

Get out. What's wrong?

Get out of here.

What's the matter?

Go on! Get out of here!

Right this way.

I'm gonna tell each and every one of my friends about you...

...and they're gonna... Just get...

What's this? Oops.

Ha-ha-ha! Sorry.

Goddamn sicko.

Let me ask you something. Does this thing scare you?

Yes. Would you like if I took this thing...

...and made straight for your goddamn incisors?

No. It'd hurt, right?

Mm-hm. You'd scream, right?

Mm-hm. Well get your ass in here!

Say, don't I know you? Seymour Krelborn. We met yesterday.

Oh, your mouth's a mess, kid.

That wisdom tooth. We'll just rip that bugger right out of there.

What do you say? No!

There's always time for dental hygiene, Seymour.

You ever seen the results of a neglected mouth?

Look, Seymour.

This could happen to you. Uh...

Unless I take immediate action. What's that?

A drill. It's rusty.

It's an antique.

They don't make them like this anymore.

Sturdy, heavy...


I'm gonna want some gas for this.

Thank God. I thought you wouldn't use any.

Oh, the gas isn't for you, Seymour. It's for me.

You see, I want to really enjoy this.

In fact, I'm gonna use my special gas mask.

I find a little giggle gas before I begin increases my pleasure enormously.

Here we go!

Oh, Seymour, I'm flying! Ha-ha-ha.

The things I'm gonna do to that mouth! Ha-ha-ha!

Huh? What the hell is that?

A gun? Ha-ha-ha!

The kid's got a goddamn revolver! Ha-ha-ha!

Oh, Jesus, ha, ha! I'm in trouble now, huh?

Wait until I turn this gas off.


Aw, give me a hand, would you? Ha, ha.

No, I guess you wouldn't, would you?

You see, Seymour, I could asphyx...


What'd I ever do to you?

Nothing. It's what you did to her.

Her who?

Oh, her.

SEYMOUR: Shh! Go away.

Ooh! Chop it up.

What? Feed me!

Okay, okay.

Oh, brother.

Audrey, what'd they say to you?

Uh, who?

The police. Oh, uh, nothing.

Audrey, talk to me. Tell me what they said.

It's Orin. They say he's disappeared!

The police, they told you that? They suspect foul play.

They do?

His receptionist, this morning she found the place a shambles.

Gas masks everywhere.

Things all over the floor.

They think...

I can't even think about what they think.


Don't cry, Audrey.

Would it be so terrible if something had happened to him?

Seymour, what a thing to say!

Well, would it?

It wouldn't be terrible at all.

It'd be a miracle.

Not to mention all the money I'd save on Epsom salts and ACE bandages.

You see?

But I'd still feel guilty. I mean...

If he met with foul play or some terrible accident of some kind...'d be partly my fault just because...

...secretly I wished it.

Audrey, don't you waste another minute thinking about that creep!

There's a lot of guys that'd give anything to go out with you.

Nice guys.

I don't deserve a nice guy, Seymour.

That's not true. You don't know the half of it!

I've led a terrible life.

I deserved a creep like Orin Scrivello, D.D.S.

You know where I met him?

In the Gutter.

The gutter?

The Gutter. It's a nightspot.

I worked there on my nights off when we weren't making much money.

I'd put on... and tasteless outfits, not nice ones like this.

Low and nasty apparel.

Audrey, that's all behind you now.

You got nothing to be ashamed of.

You're a very nice person. I always knew you were.

Underneath the bruises and the handcuffs, you know what I saw?

A girl I respected.

I still do.

♫ Lift up your head Wash off your mascara Here, take my Kleenex Wipe that lipstick away Show me your face Clean as the morning I know things were bad But now they're okay Suddenly Seymour Is standing beside you You don't need no makeup Don't have to pretend Suddenly Seymour Is here to provide you Sweet understanding Seymour's your friend Nobody ever Treated me kindly Daddy left early Mama was poor I'd meet a man And I'd follow him blindly He'd snap his fingers Me, I'd say "sure"

Suddenly Seymour Is standing beside me He don't give me orders He don't condescend Suddenly Seymour Is here to provide me Sweet understanding Seymour's my friend Tell me this feeling Lasts 'til forever Tell me the bad times Are clean washed away Please understand that It's still strange and frightenin'

For losers like I've been It's so hard to say Suddenly Seymour Suddenly Seymour He purified me He purified you Suddenly Seymour Suddenly Seymour Showed me I can Yes you can Learn how to be more The girl that's inside me The girl that's inside you With sweet understanding With sweet understanding With sweet understanding Seymour's your


MUSHNIK: You love her madly, don't you, schmuck?

Mr. Mushnik, you scared me. I...

I scared him? After what I've seen, I scared him?

Do you think I didn't know, huh? Oh, I knew.

I knew you lay down here on your pathetic little cot...

...and dreamed about her.

But I didn't know the lengths to which you'd go...

...the depths to which you'd sink!

What depths? What sink? What are you talking about?

Little red dots all over the linoleum.

Little red spots on the concrete outside.

I'm talking blood, Krelborn. I'm talking under my own roof.

An axe murderer!

♫ He's got your number now I saw everything.

TWOEY: He knows just what you've done Everything you did to her boyfriend.

TWOEY: You've got no place to hide I saw you chopping him.

TWOEY: You've got nowhere to run It's true. I chopped him up, but I didn't kill him!

TWOEY: He knows your life of crime Tell it to the police.

I think it's suppertime Hoo, hoo, whoo Come on, come on Think about all those offers Come on, come on Your future with Audrey Come on, come on Ain't no time to turn squeamish C-C-C-Come on!

I swear on all my spores When he's gone the world will be yours Yours Yeah, yeah

♫ Come on, come on Come on, come on

It's suppertime

You know, Krelborn, it kills me doing this.

But considering you're almost like a son to me, I'm thinking...

...maybe we don't have to go to the police.

We don't? I'm thinking...

...what if I kept my mouth shut and gave you a one-way ticket out of town?

You'd do that, sir?

You could lay low for a while, say 30, 40 years.

Meanwhile, I would keep the plant.

The plant? Of course...'d have to teach me how to take care of it while you're away.

Give me your secret gardening tips.

But then, if you'd rather hang...

♫ Come on, come on Come on, come on What do I have to do?

SEYMOUR: Just feed it.

Just feed it what?

♫ It's suppertime Oh.

Minerals. Yes.

Thursdays, you should give it water.

Oh, yes.

♫ Come on, come on It's suppertime But whatever you do... Yes?

It's suppertime Whatever you do... Yeah?

What the hell is? Sir?

MUSHNIK: Wait! Wait! Wait!

Aah! Oh, wait! Aah!


Seymour Krelborn!

Finally, we meet! What an occasion! Let's toast it. Up yours.

Canapé? Cigarette?

Let's talk turkey. Sign here. We'll book you on lecturing tours.

Yes, darling. We're sending photographers Thursday.

So get the plant ready and wear a clean shirt.

Just sign this release. Need a pen?

Aren't you thrilled? It's the cover of LIFE magazine!

Dessert? I tell you, son, it's a cinch to get ratings.

The title is Marvin's. The concept is mine.

The first weekly gardening show on a network!

And you're gonna host it, you lucky kid. Sign!

♫ They say the meek shall inherit You know the book doesn't lie It's not a question of merit It's not demand and supply They say the meek gonna get it

You know the meek are gonna get What's comin' to them By and by

Oh, my God!

And here he is himself, Mr. Seymour Krelborn!

Mr. Krelborn, there are so many questions...

...the American people in our television audience have for you.

Come and tell our viewers at home and elsewhere...

...about this particularly amazing agricultural phenomenon.

A phenomenon, I might add, that has made you... of the most talked-about plant scientists in the country...


What the hell? What happened to the goddamned greenery?

It just needs to be fed. So feed it.

I can't feed it. Not now.

I'll feed it. Where do you keep the plant food?

It doesn't eat plant food. And I can't feed it now.

Why don't you leave me alone? All of you.

Just go away. Leave me alone. Get out of here.

Go away. Leave me alone!

Everybody go away! Leave me alone! Seymour!

You're hysterical.

I know. I'm sorry.

What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?

I never should've started, but I did. Now, if I don't feed it, it'll die.

And I'll lose her, I'll lose everything.

Seymour? Who are you talking to? Oh. Huh?


You're acting funny.

It wasn't nice throwing those people out.

Those men said Seymour Krelborn's Gardening Tips... sure to be a very big TV show.

I know. I'm sorry. I feel terrible. Well, you shouldn't.

They're coming back tomorrow and they're bringing you a great big check.

They are?

I wish you were enjoying your success.

They said they're coming back with money?


Then we could afford to get out of here, couldn't we?

Uh, what do you mean?

That's it. After tomorrow we could leave here together.


If you'll have me.

Audrey, will you have me?

Uh, what do you mean?

Marry me, Audrey.

Oh, Seymour, this is so sudden. Will you?


Then that's it! We'll go get married right now.

Oh, Seymour! Tomorrow we'll come back...

...I'll be on television, get the money and then we'll live happy ever after.

Oh, Audrey, I'll give you a wonderful life with no plants, I promise.

No plants at all. You're talking peculiar again, Seymour.

We'll start tonight, we'll go to City Hall, get married...

...and then spend the night somewhere it's safe. Some nice hotel.

Oh, Seymour. Oh, Audrey.

Oh, I've got to get ready! Heh!

Hurry. Hurry.

Feed me.

Under no circumstances. Feed me.

I will not, so stop asking.

Feed me!

No! No more! I can't take living with the guilt.

Tough titty.

Watch your language. Aw, cut the crap. Bring on the meat.

Okay, okay.

I'll bring you meat. I'll run down to the corner, pick you up some ground round.

How about that? Don't do me no favors!

Look. Hmm?

It's my last offer. Yes or no?

You sure do drive a hard bargain.

Done. Fine. Great.

Don't think you're getting dessert.



♫ Hey, little lady, hello Who...? Who is this?

You're looking cute as can be Is this someone I know?

You're looking mighty sweet Seymour!

No, it ain't Seymour. Ha, ha, it's me!

AUDREY: Oh, my God!

I don't believe it.

Believe it, baby. It talks.

Am I dreaming this?

No, and you ain't in Kansas, neither.

Something is very wrong here.

I need me some water in the worst way.

Look at my branches.

I'm drying up. I'm a goner, honey!

♫ Come on and give me a drink I don't know if I should.

Hey, little lady, be nice Do you talk to Seymour like this?

Sure do I'll drink it straight Your leaves are dry, poor thing.

Don't need no glass or no ice Uh, I'll get the can.

Don't need no twist of lime Here we go.

And now it's suppertime!


Ah, ha-ha-ha.

Oh, relax, doll, and it'll be easier.

Come join your dentist friend and Mushnik, ha, ha.

Aah! They're right inside. Ha-ha-ha!

SEYMOUR: Get off of her! Get off!

Are you okay? Yes.


Don't die, Audrey. Please don't die.

You know, the plant just said the strangest thing just now.

It said Orin and Mr. Mushnik...

...are already inside.

It's true.

I did it.

I fed them to it.

And that's what made it so big and strong...

...and you so famous?

I've done terrible things, Audrey.

But not to you. Never to you. But...

I want you to, Seymour.


When I die, which should be very shortly...

...give me to the plant.

So that it will live, and bring you all the wonderful things you deserve.

You don't know what you're saying. But I do.

It's the one gift I can give you.

And if I'm in the plant...

...then I am part of the plant.

So in a way...

...we'll always be together.

♫ You'll wash my tender leaves You'll smell my sweet perfume You'll water me and care for me You'll see me bud and bloom I'm feeling strangely happy now Contented and serene Oh, don't you see Finally I'll be

Somewhere That's


MAN: Hey! Watch it!

MARTIN: Mr. Krelborn.

Uh, Mr. Krelborn?

Patrick Martin.

International Licensing and Marketing.

I wanna show you something.

I'm not interested. Ah, but you will be.


I took the liberty of taking a cutting from that amazing plant of yours.

And look what grew in just a couple of days.

The Design boys did the packaging.

Cute, huh?

Get the idea?

My firm is willing to pay you a reasonable amount to take leaf cuttings...

...develop little Audrey Ils...

...sell them in florist shops, supermarkets. Across the nation.

Pretty soon, every household in America will have one.

Imagine it, boy. We could make a fortune.

Little Audrey Ils, everywhere.

This could be bigger than Hula-Hoops.

What do you say, Mr. Krelborn?

Mr. Krelborn.


Hey! We don't have to deal with you, you know!

A goddamn vegetable's public domain!

You ask our lawyers!

Every household in America. That's what you had in mind all along, isn't it?

No shit, Sherlock.

We're not talking about one hungry plant here.

We're talking about world conquest.

And I wanna thank you.

You ate the only thing I ever loved.

You're a monster, and so am I.

It's gotta end. It's gonna stop right here.

♫ Better wait a minute Uh, you better hold the phone Better mind your manners Better change your tone Don't you threaten me, son You got a lot of gall We're gonna do things my way Or we won't do things at all


You in trouble now.

Baby, yeah.

You don't know What you're messing with Uh, you got no idea You don't know what you're looking at When you're looking here You don't know what you're up against No, no way, no how You don't know What you're messing with But I'm gonna tell you now

Get this straight I'm just a mean green mother From outer space and I'm bad Mean, green, bad I'm just a mean green mother From outer space And it looks like you've been had I'm just a mean green mother From outer space So get off my back And get out my face

'Cause I'm mean and green And I am bad

I'm bad Yeah

Ooh! Wanna save your skin, boy?

You wanna save your hide?

You wanna see tomorrow? Ha, ha You better step aside Better take a tip, boy Want some good advice?

You better take it easy

'Cause you're walking on thin ice You don't know What you're dealing with No, you never did You don't know what you're looking at But that's tough titty, kid The lion don't sleep tonight And if you pull his tail, he roars You say that ain't fair You say that ain't nice You know what I say? Up yours TWOEY: Yeah Ow! Watch me now I'm just a mean green mother From outer space and I'm bad Mean, green, bad I'm just a mean green mother A real disgrace And you've got me fighting mad I'm just a mean green mother From outer space Gonna trash your ass Gonna rock this place I'm mean and green And I am bad Mm-hm You know I don't come From no black lagoon I'm from past the stars And beyond the moon You can keep the Thing Keep the It Keep the Creature They don't mean shit


I got killer buds, a power stem Nasty thorns and I'm using them So better move it out, nature calls You got the point? I'm gonna bust your balls

Here it comes

I'm mean and green Mean green mother from outer space I'm mean and green Mean green mother from outer space I'm mean and green


And I Am Unh!


♫ Subsequent to the events ♫ You have just witnessed Similar events in cities across America Events which bore A striking resemblance To the ones you have just seen Began occurring Ooh!

Subsequent to the events You have just witnessed Unsuspecting jerks From Maine to California Made the acquaintance Of a new breed of flytrap And got sweet-talked Into feeding it blood Thus the plants worked Their terrible will Finding jerks Who would feed them their fill And the plants proceeded to grow And grow And began what they came here to do Which was essentially to Eat Cleveland And Des Moines And Peoria And New York And where you live

They may offer you fortune and fame Love and money and instant acclaim But whatever they offer you Don't feed the plants

They may offer you lots of cheap thrills Dates and discos in Beverly Hills But whatever they offer you Don't feed the plants

Look out, here comes Audrey II

Look out, here I come for you I come for you MAN: Oh, my God!

Yeah! Ha-ha-ha.


♫ Hold your hat ♫ And hang on to your soul Something's coming To eat the world whole If we fight it We've still got a chance But whatever they offer you Though they're slopping the trough For you Please whatever they offer you Don't feed the plants