Megamind (2010) Script

Here's my day so far: went to jail, lost the girl of my dreams, and got my butt kicked pretty good.

Still, things could be a lot worse.

Oh, that's right.

I'm falling to my death.

Guess they can't.

How'd it all come to this, you ask?

My end starts at the beginning.

The very beginning.

Yes, that's me.

I had a fairly standard childhood.

I came from, what you might call, a broken home.

Literally broken.

I was eight days old and still living with my parents.

How sad is that?

Clearly it was time to move on.

Here is your minion. He will take care of you.

And here is your binky.

You are destined for...

I didn't quite hear that last part, but it sounded important.

...two, one. Destined for what?

I set out to find my destiny.

Turns out a kid from the Glaupunkt quadrant had the exact same idea.

That was the day I met Mr. Goody Two-Shoes...

...and our glorious rivalry was born.

Could this be what I was destined for?

A dream life filled with luxury.

Apparently not.

Even fate picks its favorites.

No big deal.

A much different fate awaited me.

A baby! How thoughtful.

Oh, yes. Yes, I saw it and thought of you.

Luckily I found a lovely little place to call home.

Can we keep it?

A place that taught me the differences between right...

...and wrong.

Mr. Goody Two-Shoes, on the other hand, had life handed to him on a silver platter.

Our baby can fly.

Yes, yes, nothing but the best for you, darling.

The power of flight, invulnerability, and great hair.

But I had something far, far greater.

My amazing intellect...

...and knack for building objects of mayhem.

After a few years, and with some time off for good behavior, I was given an opportunity to better myself through learning...

...at a strange place called shool.

It was there that I once again ran into Mr. Goody Two-Shoes.

He had already amassed a gigantic army of soft-headed groupies.

He bought their affections with showmanship and extravagant gifts of deliciousness.

So I, too, will make this popp-ed corn and win over those mindless drones.

Lights out.

That's when I learned a very hard lesson:

Good receives all the praise and adulation, while evil is sent to quiet-time in the corner.

So fitting in wasn't really an option.

While they were learning the Itsy Bitsy Spider...

...I learned how to dehydrate animate objects and rehydrate them at will.

Some days, it felt like it was just me and Minion against the world.

No matter how hard I tried, I was always the odd man out, the last one picked, the screw-up, the black sheep...

Get him!

...the bad boy. Freak!

Weirdo!

Was this my destiny?

Wait, maybe it was.

Being bad is the one thing I'm good at.

Then it hit me: If I was the bad boy, then I was going to be the baddest boy of them all.

I was destined to be a super-villain, and we were destined to be rivals.

The die had been cast, and so began an enduring, epic, lifelong career.

And I loved it.

Our battles quickly got more elaborate.

He would win some.

I would almost win others.

He took the name Metro Man, defender of Metrocity.

I decided to pick something a little more humble: Megamind...

...incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy.

Read on your own time. Open up.

Hey! Boo!

Oh, good morning, Warden.

Great news: I'm a changed man, and...

...and I'm ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen.

You're a villain, and you'll always be a villain.

You'll never change, and you'll never Ieave.

You're fun.

You got a present in the mail.

Is it a puppy?

From Metro Man. "To count every second of your 85 Iife sentences."

That's funny. Never thought Metro Man was the gloating type.

Oh, but he does have nice taste. I think I'll keep it.

Any chance you could give me the time?

I don't want to be Iate for the opening of the Metro Man Museum.

Oh no. Looks Iike you're gonna miss it, by several thousand years.

Oh, am I?

Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City.

It's a beautiful day in beautiful downtown, where we're here to honor a beautiful man, Metro Man.

His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean.

For years he's been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super-strength and caring for us with his super-heart.

Now it's our turn to give something back.

This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting Iive from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum.

Wow. OK, the stuff they make you read on-air, that's un-freaking-believable. It's crazy.

I wrote that piece myself, Hal.

What I was trying to say was, I can't believe that in our modern society, they Iet, Iike, actual art get onto the news.

Nice save, Hal. What are we...

Like, Iet's just get a coffee or something.

Come on, it's time to get in the Metro Man Day spirit.

Well, if I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time.

That's the first thing. That's sweet, Hal.

And I'd be watching you, Iike a dingo watches a human baby.

OK, that sounded...

OK, that sounded a Iittle weird. A Iittle bit. Yeah.

And you're making a weird face, and that's making me feel weird.

The point is, I would watch you Iike someone...

Not Iove. We're not in Iove. I'm not saying I Iove you.

Hey, I Iove you. Whatever.

But I'm not saying Iike I'm in Iove with you. I'm saying...

Roxanne? Roxaroo?

Whoa... What? Hey...

Get back to work. The city doesn't pay you to Ioaf.

Freeze! Whoa. What are you doing, guys?

It's me! It's the warden.

Hey! Open up!

No, you fools. He's tricked us.

You were right.

I'll always be a villain.

Well, hello good-Iooking. Need a Iift?

Certainly do, you fantastic fish, you.

Get in the car, you. I'm free!

Right?

Nice work sending me the watch, Minion.

You got it, boss. Punch it!

AII right, put your hands in the air.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Metro Man!

Who's your man? Metro Man!

Yeah, Metro City!

Gimme some. Come on. Give it now.

Give it to me. Right on. Gimme the good stuff. AII right.

Hey, Metro City.

Hey. Hey.

You know, you know, I just want to bring it down a bit.

Boys, a Iittle Iower. Thank you, fellas.

Let's get real for a moment.

That's right. That's right. That's right.

Although getting a whole museum is super-cool, is super-cool, you want to know what the greatest honor you've given me is?

Do you really want to know? Really?

I'll tell you.

The greatest honor you've given me is Ietting me serve you, the helpless people of Metro City.

And at the end of every day, well, I often ask myself...

...who would I be without you?

I Iove you, Metro Man! And I Iove you, random citizen.

I tell you, Minion. There's no place Iike evil Iair.

I've kept it cold and damp just for you, sir.

How do I Iook, Minion? Do I Iook bad?

Disgustingly horrifying, sir.

You always know what to say.

Oh, the brain-bots certainly missed you, sir.

Did you miss your daddy? Who's a menacing Iittle cyborg?

You are. Yes, you are. No biting.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You want the wrench? Go get the wrench.

Oh, Iook at that. Now, back to Iaughing.

She's awake. Quick, to work.

Miss Ritchi, we meet again.

Would it kill you to wash the bag?

You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi.

I'm afraid no one can hear you.

Wh... Why isn't she screaming?

Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind?

Like this...

But that's, that's a poor Iady scream.

He's a Iittle better.

Is there some kind of nerdy super-villain Web site where you get Tesla coils and blinky dials?

Actually, most of it comes from an outlet store in...

Don't answer that.

Romania. Don't! Stop!

She's using her nosy reporter skills on your weak-willed mind to find out all our secrets.

Such tricks won't work on me...

Please talk slower. ...temptress.

What secrets? You're so predictable.

Predictable? Predictable?

Oh, you call this predictable?

Your alligators. Yes.

Yeah, I was thinking about it on the way over.

What's this? Boom! In your face.

Cliché. No! Look, watch.

Juvenile. Shock and awe.

Tacky. Oh, it's so scary!

Seen it. What's this one do?

Garish.

OK, the spider's new. Spider?

Yes. The... The spee-ider.

Even the smallest bite from Arachnis deathicus will instantly paralyze...

Get it off! It bit me!

Give it up, Megamind. Your plans never work.

Let's stop wasting time and call your boyfriend in tights, shall we?

It is with great pleasure that I present to Metro Man his new museum.

If you please.

Metro Man! Hey! My kid can't see.


Megamind! Oh, bravo, Metro Man.

Boo!

Yes, I can play along too. Boo!

Should've known you'd try to crash the party.

Oh, I intend to do more than crash it.

This is a day you and Metrocity shall not soon forget.

It's pronounced Metro City!

Potato-tomato, potato-tomato.

We all know how this ends: with you behind bars.

I'm shaking in my custom baby seal leather boots.

You will leave Metrocity, or this will be the last you ever hear of Roxanne Ritchi.

Roxanne! Don't panic, Roxie.

I'm on my way. Yeah, I'm not panicking.

In order to stop me, you need to find me first, Metro Man.

We're at the abandoned observatory.

No, we're not!

Don't listen to her. She's crazy.


Metro Man approaching, sir.

Hold on a second.

Oh, good heavens!

You didn't think you were in the real observatory, did you?

Ready the death ray, Minion.

Death ray, readying.

Over here, old friend.

In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap.

You can't trap justice. It's an idea, a belief.

Even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time.

Justice is a non-corrosive metal.

But metals can be melted by the heat of revange.

It's "revenge," and it's best served cold.

But it can be easily reheated in the microwave of evil.

Well, I think your warranty is about to expire.

Maybe I got an extended warranty.

Warranties are invalid if you don't use the product for its intended purpose.

Oh, girls, girls, you're both pretty. Can I go home now?

Of course. That is, if Metro Man can withstand the full, concentrated power of the sun!

Fire!

Minion. Fire?

It's still warming up, sir. Come again?

Warming up, sir. Warming up? The sun is warming up?

One second more and...

...just tippy-tappy tippy-tap-tap, tip-top more, and we are ready in just... Honestly!

On my way, Roxie.

I told you to have things ready. I told you countless times.

Why do you always blame me?

My spider bite is acting up.

Your plan is failing. Just admit it.

Yeah, good Iuck with that one.

Whose side are you on?

The Iosing side. Thank you.

Could someone stamp my Frequent Kidnapping Card?

You of all people know we discontinued that promotion.

Ciao-ciao, all! Same time next week?

Dag! Crab nuggets!

What did he just say? "Crab nuggets"?

Fackled fish cracker!

Ten seconds to full power.

Good Iord, I'm trapped. Ten...

What kind of trickery is this? ...nine...

You mad genius. ...eight...

Your dark gift has finally paid off. ...seven...

It... It has? ...six...

This dome is obviously Iined with copper.

Yeah? So? Sir...

Copper drains my powers. ...two...

Your weakness is copper? ...one.

You're kidding, right? Full power.


I don't think even he could survive that.

Well, Iet's not get our hopes up just yet.

Look! Metro Man!

Metro Man.

Metro Man!

You... You did it, sir. I did it?

He did it.

I did it? He did it.

You did it, sir. I did it!

You did it! I did it! Metrocity is mine!

You did it, sir! I did it! Yeah, me, me!

Yes, I did it! Us! We both did it!

Not us! I! You, a Iittle more than me but still, come on! A Iot more than you.

When they're giving out the awards, I'm gonna be right there next to you. What awards? What awards, for what?

Hit it!


Drop 'em!


First off, what a turnout.

How wild is this?

AII I did was eliminate the most powerful man in the universe.

Are there any questions? Go on. Yes! You in the back.

I'm sure we'd all Iike to know what you plan to do with us and this city.

Good, I'm glad you asked that.

Imagine the most horrible, terrifying, evil thing you can possibly think of, and multiply it... by six!

In the meantime, I want you to carry on with the dreary, normal things you normal people do.

Let's just have fun with this. Come on.

And I will get back to you.

Now slam the door really hard.

They... They can still see you.

Now? Your elbow's still in.

Good.

There he is, Mr. Evil Overlord Oh, Minion, did you think this day would ever come?

No way. Not at all, sir.

Never. Never in a million... I mean...

Yes, I did. Look at the intricate mouldings.

I'm Iooking. I'm Iooking.

And what's this?

It's Iike one of the giant monitors in the Iair.

But it seems to only carry one station.

Oh, that, sir, is called a window.

Window? AII the kids are Iooking through them.

I've never had a view before.

Metrocity, Minion, it's all mine.

If my parents could see me now.

Sir, I'm sure they're smiling down from evil heaven.

And now that Mr. Goody Two-Shoes is out of the way, I can have everything I want, and there's no one to stop me!


I know. I know.

Always thirsty, never satisfied.

I understand you, Iittle well-dressed bird.

Purposeless, emptiness. It's a vacuum, isn't it?

It's... What's your vacuum Iike?

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Not now, Minion.

I'm in a heated, existential discussion with this dead-eyed, plastic desk toy.

Is... Is something wrong, sir?

Just think about it.

We have it all.

Yet, we have nothing.

It's just too easy now.

I'm sorry, you've Iost me, sir.

I mean, we did it, right?

Well, you did it, sir.

Yes, you've made that perfectly clear.

Then why do I feel so... mel-on-choly.

"Mel-on-choly"?

Unhappy. Well...

What if tomorrow, we could go kidnap Roxanne Ritchi.

That always seems to Iift your spirits.

Good idea, Minion. But without him, what's the point?

"Him," sir? Nothing.

OK, all right. We'll just... that's something to consider...

...and... Well, I think I'll just power down for a while then.

He was always there for us. Dependable.

Perhaps we took him for granted. You know, maybe, we never really know how good we have it until it's gone.

We miss you, Metro Man. I miss you.

And I have just one question for Megamind: Are you happy now?

This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting from a city without a hero.

Coming up next, are you ready to be a slave army? What you need to know.

And... wrap that up and give it to a child on Christmas, 'cause we're done. OK. See you tomorrow, Hal.

Wait. Roxie, I'm having a party at my house.

It's gonna be, Iike, off the hook, or whatever.

You should come over. I got a deejay, rented a bouncy house, made a gallon of dip.

It's gonna be sick.

Oh. I... I don't know, Hal.

I don't really feel Iike being around a bunch of people.

No, no, no, that's the best part. It'll just be Iike you and me.

Wow. That... that's certainly very tempting, but...

I did hire a wedding photographer. That's just in case we were Iike, something crazy happened and we wanted a picture of it.

Like, maybe we should have this for, Iike, ever. Like a memory, you know?

I'm gonna pass.

I have some work here that I need to do, anyway.

Cool. So Thursday? Soft Thursday?

Good night, Hal. That's a soft yes on Thursday.

What's wrong with me? Rented a bouncy house?

Chicks don't Iike bouncy houses.

They Iike clowns.

Stupid van! You broke my finger!


I've made a horrible mistake.

I didn't mean to destroy you.

I mean, I meant to destroy you, but I didn't think it would really work.

What are we supposed to do?

Without you, evil is running rampant through the streets.

I'm so tired of running rampant through the streets.

What's the point of being bad when there's no good to try and stop you?

Someone has to stop Megamind.

Hey, we're closing soon. You scared me.

Barry, right? Bernard.

Bernard. I was just... Well, I was talking to myself.

You probably think I'm a Iittle bit nuts.

I'm not allowed to insult guests directly.

Thank you. Just... Bernard, I'll just be another minute.

OK.

Thanks.

I had so many evil plans in the works.

The illiteracy beam.

Typhoon cheese.

Robo-sheep.

Battles we will now never have.

You know, I never had the chance to say goodbye.

So it's good that we have this time now.

You know, before I destroy the place.

Nothing personal, it just brings back too many painful memories.

Hello?

Hello? Roxanne.

That's a pretty tasteless costume. Costume?

Megamind's head is not that grossly exaggerated.

And you even made a cheap replica of his dehydration gun. How...

Hello? Is someone there?

Hello? Who's there?

It's just you, Bernard.

Yes. It's just me. Bernard.

Well, thank you for Ietting me stay.

Look, I wouldn't stay here for more than two minutes and 37 seconds if I were you. We're having the walls and ceiling removed.

Wow, that sounds Iike quite the renovation.

I guess I'll catch a ride down with you then.

I kept thinking he was gonna do one of his Iast-minute escapes.

Yeah. He was really good at those.

Oh, if only the world had a reset button.

I've Iooked into the reset button.

The science is impossible.

Oh, Bernard...

I didn't know you had... feelings. Are you OK?

Metro Man's gone. And now there's no one Ieft to challenge Megamind.

Oh, come on, Bernard.

As Iong as there's evil, good will rise up against it.

Oh, I wish.

I believe someone is gonna stand up to Megamind.

You really think so? Yeah. I mean, it's Iike they say, "Heroes aren't born, they're made."

Heroes can be made. That's it!

AII you need are the right ingredients.

Yeah. Bravery. Yes.

Strength. Of course.

Determination. Imperative!

And a smidgen of DNA. Oh, with that, anyone can be a hero!

Yeah!

I think we should run!

Bye!

Time to put the past behind us.

Only the future...

I'm too close! I'm genuinely scared right now.

I hope no one's seeing this!

Create a hero? Wait, wait, what? Why would you do that?

So I have someone to fight.

Minion, I'm a villain without a hero.

A yin with no yang.

A bullfighter with no bull to fight.

In other words, I have no purpose.

Now, ask me how I'm going to do it. Go on! Ask!

How are you gonna do it?

I'm going to give someone... I don't know who yet...

Metro Man's powers.

I'm going to train that someone to become Metrocity's new hero.

Over here! Follow!

And then finally, I'm going to fight that hero in an epic battle of good and evil.

Which will put everything back the way it was...

...when the world was perfect and rosy.

Behold, Minion, Metro Man's cape.

Look closely. Tell me what you see.

Dandruff? Yes. It's his DNA.

From this, we'll extract the source of Metro Man's awesome power.

Sir, I think this is a bad idea.

Yes! This is a very wickedly bad idea for the greater good of man.

But I'm saying this is a kind of bad that...

...OK, you might think is good in your bad perception, but from a good perception it... it's just plain bad.

Oh, you don't know what's good for bad.

Now, we have just one shot at this.

We must find a suitable subject, someone of noble heart and mind.

Who puts the welfare of others above their own.

What on Earth is that?

It seems to be emanating from there, sir.

OIIo.

It's "Hello."

Hello? Like that?

Bernard, it's Roxanne. It's Roxanne.

I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me the other day.

Oh, you inspired me too. Great!

It's time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can't push us around.

Oh, really? She's so cute.

I'm already hot on his trail.

And what gives you that idea? Sir?

I just found his secret hideout.

How did she find my hideout?!

How did you find his hideout?

This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on the roof.

OK. There's no way she'll find the secret entrance.

There's a doormat here that says "Secrit Entrance"!

Minion! I kept forgetting where it was.

She'll discover all our secrets!

Oh, no! You dim-witted creation of science!

What? What? Oh, no, not you, Roxanne.

No, I was just yelling at my... mother's urn.

Don't do anything. I'll be right there.

Roxanne?

Oh no, not again!

Roxanne?

I'm glad you're here. Wait, how did you get here so fast?

Well, I... I happened to be speed walking nearby when you called.

In a suit?

It's called... formal speed walking, but that's not important.

I better take the Iead. This way Iooks exciting.

No, it says "Exit."

Which is the abbreviation for "exciting," right?

This is the mother Iode!

Wow. Just Iook at this thing. Wow.

You know, I really could use your help in deciphering all this.

Really? You're an expert on all things Megamind, right? Yes. Right.

Together, we could figure out his plan for the city and stop it.

Are you in? Oh, what fun!

That's what I want to hear.

Minion, Code: Send In The Brain-bots.

You know, the whole point of a code is...

Oh, Code: Just Do It, Minion.

Intruder! Intruder! Intruder!

It's me, you fools! Bernard!

It's Daddy!

Megamind.

What have you done with Bernard? Oh, Bernard? Oh, yes.

I'm doing horrible things to that man.

I don't want to get into it, but Iasers, spikes.

No, please! No! Not the Iasers and the spikes!

You know the drill. Oh, no! Not the drill!

Let him go or... Or what?

Or I'm gonna find out what this weird-Iooking gun does.

No, don't shoot! Don't shoot that gun!

I'll just go get him.

Unhand me, you fiend! Never!

His strength's too much!

Oh, I work out!

Well, it's really paying off! You're so fit, and strangely charismatic.

Are you OK?

I did my best, but he's too fantastic.

Here. Let me carry that heavy gun for you.

I got us covered.

Let go. It's mine! Bernard, run!

Roxanne?

You're going to break it! Give it to me!

Oh, no!

Roxanne?!

Who on Earth is that?

Help! Roxanne!

Bernard! You were right about that door being exciting.

Intruder! Intruder! This way.

Intruder! Intruder! Intruder!

What are you doing?

This'll stop them. Here!

Seems a bit extreme, doesn't it?

Just throw it! Daddy's sorry.

Wow. That was really exciting. Yeah.

You were very strong in there. I know.

I've never seen anyone but Metro Man stand up to him Iike that.

What's going on? Hal, what happened?

I think a bee flew up my nose.

I was just about to make my frontal assault to rescue you, but Iike 50 ninjas tried to attack me, so I had to beat 'em all up, and I did, and I... They were all, Iike, crying and stuff...

Wow, a brave one, isn't he? Who are you?

Oh, thi... this is Bernard. He's my partner.

Partner? Yes. Yes. Partner.

Well, Iook, "partner," I'm her partner. She doesn't know what she's saying.

She's been through a traumatic experience.

I'd better take him home. Thanks again, Bernard.

I'll call you tomorrow, partner.

Yeah, OK. I'd Iike that.

That was weird for everybody, 'cause you accidentally hugged him instead of me.

Sir? Sir!

Code: Did You Find Out Who It Was?

Code: Get The Car.

Code: Right Away, Sir.

Bye-bye! See you tomorrow, Hal.

I'll Ieave the door unlocked in case you want to check on me Iater.

Who is this man we've infused with godlike power?

Well, sir, his name's Hal Stewart. He's 28 years old.

No criminal record. Actually no records at all.

Apparently this man hasn't accomplished anything.

Not yet, Minion. Not... yet.

Could this day get anymore fun-tastic?

So, I will just go ahead and diffuse him since this is clearly a mistake.

No, Minion! There's something much more powerful at work here.

This is no mistake. It's destiny.

Hal Shtewart! Prepare for your destiny!

Hal? Hal Shtewart?

Hey! In the bed! Am I saying it right?

"Stewart."

Is this a robbery?

'Cause the Iady across the hall has way better stuff than me.

Oh, Iook, it's Hal Stewart. Quick, the spray.

AII out.

Well, use the Forget-Me Stick. Oh, right.

Just Iook at him.

No, he doesn't Iook quite the hero-type to me.

Oh, you're such a pill, Minion.

A potter couldn't ask for finer clay.

I smell a hero.

I smell something burning.

I think it's working. Places! Places!

Places! Places! Places.

Do you have your disguise?

What?

Oh, you Iook fantastic.

Rise my glorious creation.

Rise, and come to Papa.

What's going on? Easy my child.

Who are you? I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice, honor, and nobility.

I am your father.

So you're Iike my space dad?

Yeah, I'm Iike your space dad.

And you are what?

I'm your space stepmom.

I've had some work done recently.

Is this some kind of dream?

This is a dream come true.

You've been blessed with unfathomable power.

What kind of power? Unfathomable.

It's unf... without fathom.

Yeah. We've come to guide you on your path to be Metrocity's new hero and battle the super-genius of Megamind.

I know this is a Iot to take in.

It may take months for you to come to grips.

No freaking way!

I wasn't finished.

I'm gonna be a hero!

I'm gonna be a hero!

See, Minion, he's perfect!

And... action!

Someone help me! I'm OK!

You... Bad!

Zap! Zap! Zap!

The flames of my evil burn bright.

Now you say something cool back at me.

Look. It doesn't even hurt. Don't even feel it.

No, no, no, no, no. Stomach down, hands up. Like Metro Man.

Whoa! Wait! Watch out.

He's hopeless. Hopeless!

Maybe we should change tactics. You think so?

Oh, you know how boys are.

They Iove video games.

I could throw a few parts together. Can't wait.

LOL. Smiley face.

Can't wait for what, sir?

That was such a funny story.

And brilliantly told, by the way.

OK, now you tell one.

Bernard, I never knew you were so funny.

And I never heard you Iaugh before.

Yeah, it's been a while. Feels pretty good.

And action.

Gotcha!

You don't get out much, do you? Oh, what fun!

I used to come here with my mother when I was a kid.

It was one of my favorite things to do.

Now Iook at it. It's a dump.

Why are we cleaning up the city, sir?

Well, we don't want to battle our new hero in a dump now, do we?

They're all back. But how? Why?

Maybe Megamind isn't so bad after all.

That's it.

Be free, my beautiful dove!

OK, OK.

Metro Man and I were never a couple.

But I thought you two were... I know. Everybody did.

It's just... Well, he was never really my type.

Really?

OK, now you tell me something.

Something you've never told anyone.

Well, in sh... school...

...none of the other kids really Iiked me.

I was always the Iast one picked for everything.

It's too bad that we didn't go to the same school.

Hal, I think you're ready for this.

Do I have a son? No.

You make me Iaugh.

It stretches. It's for you.

Hey, what's the T stand for?

Titan.

"Titan"? What's that supposed to mean?

It was the only name I could trademark.

Do you have someone special in your Iife, Hal?

No, not yet. But... there's this really, really good-Iooking one I've got my eye on currently.

That's very good.

Romance is very inspiring. That's what I hear.

AII you have to do is save her and she'll be yours.

Who wants churros? I do!

I do, yeah. Thanks, Space Stepmom. Churros all the way around.

On the count of three, unsheathe your churro.

One, two, three!

To Titan!

Tomorrow, you will fight Megamind, and the city will know your name.

...the city's parks restored to their original glory, the streets the safest they've been, the banks reopened.

Has something happened to Megamind?

Has someone tamed this monster?

This is Roxanne Ritchi, cautiously optimistic, and pleasantly confused.

Well, you seem in a very good mood tonight, sir.

Oh, yes. How Iong is this going to take, Minion?

Just a few alterations, sir, and I will be done with your most terrifying cape yet!

I'm calling it...

...the Black Mamba...

Black Mamba. Perfect.

Gosh, I am running Iate. I have to go.

What? Where... Where are you going, sir?

We have our debut battle with Titan tomorrow morning.

We haven't even tested your big battle suit yet.

You attend to the details, Minion. I have to... run a quick errand.

You don't run errands.

What's going on here? What?

Oh, wait a minute.

Are you wearing Jean Paul Gaultier's Pour Homme?

It's just my natural musk. Now, where are the car keys?

This is about Ms. Ritchi, isn't it?

You're going on a date with her.

No, my main man. Get out of town.

Oh, this is bad. This is bad. You've fallen in Iove with her.

You are forgetting your place, Minion. Now give me the keys.

What happens when Roxanne finds out who you really are?

She will never find out. That's the point of Iying.

Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd think this was your first day of being evil.

No!

This has gone far enough!

Oh, that was really grown-up!

Sir, sir, please. It's for your own good.

Oh, what do you know?

I may not know much, but I do know this:

The bad guy doesn't get the girl.

Maybe I don't want to be the bad guy anymore.

You heard me!

Who are you?

Now, give me the keys! No!

My sole purpose in Iife is to Iook after you.

Well, I don't need you to Iook after me.

What are you s... What are you saying? You don't need me?

Let me make it clear. Code: I Don't Need You.

You know what? You know what?

Code: I'll Just Pack My Thing And Go!

Code: Fine! Code: Fine Back!

Well, good Iuck on your date! I will!

That doesn't even make any sense! I know!


I know I am so close. I can feel it.

OK, OK. I just have to take a step back.

Wait a minute.

"Titan."

What's a Titan? My super-ears are burning.

I usually just hear criminals. You haven't been naughty, have you?

I'm totally messing with you. I'm totally messing with you.

The name's Titan. Titan.

Your very own heroic guardian of pure awesome.

What's your name? Just kidding. I know everything about you.

And I... And I brought some flowers.

Didn't know what you Iiked, so I just grabbed, you know, all of them.

OK. You don't Iike flowers? OK, forget the flowers.

What do you want?

Thought maybe we could go for a Iittle flight around town.

Get to know each other first.

This must be very thrilling for you.

What do you think you're doing?!

Oh, am I moving too fast? You're probably right.

I should just rescue you a few times before we get all romantic.

Saved ya.

You are Iucky to have such a great hero here.

Don't you ever... Oh, no! Somebody do something!

Oh, right, right, duh. I gotcha. I gotcha.

That was a close one. You almost died, but I saved you. Building!

Gotcha! I'm sorry. What were you saying?

I couldn't hear you over the sound of me saving your Iife.

Put me down! Right now!

OK, all right. AII right, hold on.

Are you crazy?

I suppose I'm a, I'm a Iittle crazy, about you.

Who are you, really?

Oh, right. Well, prepare to have your mind blown, Iittle Iady.

Ta-da. Hal?

Yeah. Isn't this great? Now there's nothing keeping us apart.

No. It's not great. Wow. Our first fight.

This is so us. We're Iike an old married couple.

Look, there is no "us," OK? There will never be an "us."

But... I have powers.

I have a cape. I'm the good guy.

You are a good guy, Hal, but you don't understand.

We need to find out why... No, no. This...

Hal, just take a deep breath This isn't right! and Iisten to me for a moment. You're supposed to be with me!

I'm trying to warn you, Hal.

It's Titan! It's Titan, not Hal!


Bernard. Roxanne.

Sorry I'm Iate. Wow, your hair Iooks exciting.

Not the only exciting development of the night.

Megamind's created a new hero, and I know why.

It all makes sense now. He missed getting his butt kicked, so he created a new hero to kick it for him. Yeah.

But why would he pick Hal?

Hal is the worst possible person you could pick.

Wow. That's a Iot to take in.

It boggles my mind.

I am extremely boggled. You know, I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of who's kicking whose butt.

But in the meantime, Iet's enjoy each other's company.

I'm sorry, Bernard, of course, you're right.

You know, I could use a breather.

To Bernard, for being the only normal thing in my crazy, upside-down world.

To... being normal.

Roxanne? Yes?

Say I wasn't so normal.

Let's say I was bald and had the complexion of, of a popular primary color, as a random, nonspecific example.

Would you still enjoy my company? Of course!

You don't judge a book by its cover or a person from the outside.

That's a relief to hear.

You judge them based on their actions.

Well, that seems kind of petty, don't you think?


What? What?

Don't Iook at me! Just a technical glitch!

Don't Iook yet! Well, never mind that.

OK.

Where were we?

You... Now, now, hold on.

You!


I can explain!

What about everything you just said?

About judging a book by its cover?

Well, Iet's take a Iook at the contents then, shall we?

You destroyed Metro Man, you took over the city, and then, you actually got me to care about you!

Why are you so evil? Tricking me?

What could you possibly hope to gain?

Wait a minute. I don't believe this.

Do you really think that I would ever be with you?

No.


OK, Minion! You were right!

I was... Iess right!

We should stick to what we're good at... being bad.

Minion?

You there!

Yeah, you.

Bring out the Black Mamba.


OK, Titan. It's time to go down in style.


I hear there's a new hero who dares challenge my evil.

Where is the one they call Titan?

Challenge me if you dare!


Oh no. We're gonna crash!

This is embarrassing.

Of all the inconsiderate, bone-headed...

...irresponsible, rude...

Unprofessional, that's what this is!

Would Metro Man have kept me waiting?

Of course not! He was a pro!

Hey, Megamind! You're actually the guy I want to see.

Also, there's a door here.

Do you have any idea how Iong I waited for you?

No, no, no, I totally understand what you're saying.

Could you just, just shut up for one second. I'm trying to beat this Ievel.

Were you even planning on showing up?

What's this?

Where did you get all this stuff?

It doesn't belong to me.

You stole it? Pretty cool, right?

No, no, no, no! You're a hero! Being a hero is for Iosers!

It's work, work, work, 24/7, and for what?

I only took the gig to get the girl, and it turns out Roxanne doesn't want anything to do with me.

Roxanne Ritchi? Yeah! Roxanne Ritchi!

I saw her having dinner and making googly eyes at some intellectual dweeb!

Who needs all that noise?

That's why I think we should team up.

You... Wait... What?

With my power, and your big-headedness, we could rule the city! You want to team up?

I even drew up some new costume designs, see?

Costume designs? You'd be the brains, so you'd get a Iittle brain, wearing glasses on your costume, or something.

And since I'm the cool one, I'd have, Iike, two tanks swordfighting...

I can't believe you.

AII your gifts, all your powers, and you... you squander them for your own personal gain.

Yes! No! I'm the villain!

You're the good guy! I do something bad, and you come and get me! That's why I created you.

Yeah, right. You're nuts. Space Dad told me...

Look, I'm your space dad!

You should be more Iike Metro Man.

You tricked me? Oh, don't Iike that?

Well, there's more.

I'm also the intellectual dweeb dating Roxanne.

No. And we were smooching up a storm!

When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna...

Yes! Yes, I know! Bring me to justice.

Oh God, how I've missed this.

And the hero strikes the first blow.

But evil returns with a backhand!

Yes!

Come out, you Iittle freak!

I want to see what that big brain Iooks Iike on the pavement!

You fell for the oldest evil trick in the book!

You Iittle blue twerp!

En garde!

Oh, now that's the spirit!

Parry! Thrust! Parry again!

Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter!

You go first!

OK! Look, I'm not sure where to go with that!

This one's for stealing my girlfriend!

This one's for Space Dad making a fool out of me!

And, Megamind, this one's for Space Stepmom! You Iied to her!

Well done. I thought that battle went really, really well.

I mean, I have a few notes. Notes?

But they can wait. You can take me to jail now.

Oh, no, no, no. I was thinking more Iike the morgue. You're dead!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This isn't how you play the game.

Game over.

Brain-bots!

I'm calling time out!

Time out? Time out! Time out!

Brain-bots, initiate the fail-safe.

Guess what, Buster Brown? It's made from copper.

You're powerless against it.

It's the very same metal used to defeat... Metro Man?

You should stop comparing me to Metro Man!

You can run, Megamind, but you can't hide!

We're saved! We're saved!

What's your name, new hero?

It's Titan. Thank you!

Thank you! Titan has freed us!

Oh, I wouldn't say "free." More Iike under new management.

What do you want? Titan's turned evil.

Congratulations. Another one of your genius plans has backfired on you.

And why did my doorman Iet you up?

Carlos.

Please, Roxanne, no. No. I need your help.

Why do you need my help?

Because you're the smartest person I know.

But you can't hide here.

The copper should have worked. Why didn't the copper work?

The copper worked perfectly well Iast time.

Copper? You're not making any sense.

Look, if we don't find Titan's weakness, he'll destroy the whole city.

OK, how can I help? We need to find answers.

You knew Metro Man best. Did he have a hideout? A cave?

A solitary fortress of some kind? Anything that would give us clues.

Well... there is one place I know.

You gave him these powers. Can't you just take them away?

I can't. I Iost my diffuser gun when I misplaced the invisible car.

The night you dumped me. Alone. In the rain.

Did you ever Iook back?

No! My giant blue head!

I guess we're here.

So, this is where he hid it.

After all these years. My old shoolhouse.

You know, I think there's an apology in order for the other night.

OK, that would be nice, but make it quick.

We have much more pressing matters to deal with.

Wow. I can't believe he kept all this stuff.

I remember when he wore that.

Shouldn't we try to stay focused here? Yes, of course. Right. Focused.

Hey. Come over and Iook at this.

What is it? What did you find?

Look.

This glass has ice cubes in it.

Yes, that's what happens when water gets cold.

No, what I'm saying is, don't you think it's a Iittle odd that the ice hasn't melted yet?

One of Iife's great mysteries.

Hey.

We now have confirmed reports.

Titan, first thought to be this city's new hero, has turned evil.

The city has never seen this level of destruction.

If only Metro Man were still alive.

You're alive? You're alive.

I'm alive. But I, we...

We saw your skeleton! You were dead!

Are you a ghost?

There had better be an amazing explanation for this.

Speak, apparition.

OK. OK, OK, OK.

You both deserve the truth.

It all started back at the observatory.

Roxanne was kidnapped. I was gonna stop you.

My head wasn't in the game that day.

We were kind of going through the motions.

So... using my super-speed, I decided to go clear my head.

Fire!

Then I realized, we had done this same silly charade our entire lives.

I tried to get my mind off how I was feeling, but I just felt stuck.

I began to realize, despite all my powers, each and every citizen of Metro had something I didn't: a choice.

Ever since I can remember, I've always had to be what the city wanted me to be.

But what about what I wanted to do?

Then it suddenly hit me.

I do have a choice.

I can be whatever I want to be.

No one said this hero thing had to be a lifetime gig.

You can't just quit, either.

That's when I got the brilliant idea... to fake my death.

Copper drains my powers.

Your weakness is copper?

Once your death ray hit, I'd never felt so alive.

So I borrowed a prop from a nearby nursing school.

Metro Man was finally dead.

And Music Man was born!

Music Man? That way I could keep my Iogo.

'Cause of wha...? Come again?

I was finally free to get in touch with my true power...

...weaving Iyrical magic.

Check this out.

I have eyes that can see Right through lead...

You're horrible! Granted, you have talent.

But there's a madman out there destroying our... your city.

How could you do this?!

The people of this city relied on you, and you deserted them!

You Ieft us in the hands of him!

No offense. No, I'm with you.

Look, we need your help.

I'm sorry. I really am.

I'm done.

You know, Iittle buddy, there's a yin for every yang.

If there's bad, good will rise up against it.

It's taken me a Iong time to find my calling.

Now it's about time you find yours.

Hey, who needs him?

We can beat Titan ourselves.

I say we go back to the evil Iair, grab some ray guns, hold him sideways, and just go all gangsta on him.

We can't.

So that's it? You're just giving up?

I'm the bad guy. I don't save the day, I don't fly off into the sunset, and I don't get the girl.

I'm going home.


Unless someone comes to our aid soon, all may be lost.

Thousands have already fled the city in a mass exodus.

Remaining citizens are warned to stay indoors until further notice.

Authorities have issued a warning to stay out of the downtown area at all costs.

Hal!

Hal!

Let me guess. After seeing how awesome I am, you've finally come to your senses? Well, I'm over you.

I've come to stop you, Hal. You? Oh, wow.

OK, what are you gonna do, report me to death?

I was going to try reasoning with you.

You and I, we worked together for a Iong time. I know you.

You don't know me. You never took the time to know me.

This is the first time we've hung out socially, and it's when I'm about to destroy the city!

I want to talk to the real Hal.

I want to talk to the guy who Ioved being a cameraman, and eating dip, and being a nerd, and being not as scary as the Tighten Hal.

Too Iate!

...interrupting our scheduled...

...extraordinary events taking place...

Heat in the valley and...

Megamind!

You and I have some unfinished business.

I'll be waiting at Metro Tower.

Oh, and just so you don't get cold feet...

Roxanne.

Come on, Roxie, call for your hero to come rescue you.

Megamind, I don't even know if you're listening, but if you are, you can't give up.

The Megamind I knew would never have run from a fight, even when he knew he had absolutely no chance of winning.

It was your best quality.

You need to be that guy right now.

The city needs you.

I need you.

Roxanne.

You have one hour.

Don't keep me waiting.

Warden! Warden! Listen to me! You have to Iet me go!

Tighten has to be stopped!

Sorry, Megamind. You still have 88 Iife sentences to go.

Plenty of time to reflect on what you've done.

Did you want to hear me say it? I'll say it.

Here it is, from the blackest part of my heart.

I am sorry!

Not buying it.

I don't blame you.

I've terrorized this city countless times.

Created a hero who's turned out to be a villain.

I Iied to Roxanne, and...

...my best friend Minion, I treated Iike dirt.

Please don't make this city...

...don't make Roxanne pay for my wrongdoings.

Apology accepted.

Oh, Minion, you fantastic fish, you.

What are we waiting for? We'd better get going.

You got me.

Good Iuck, fellas! We're gonna die!

Wait, what?

Hey, Metro losers. This is Metro Tower.

They say it's supposed to be a symbol of our city's strength.

But for me, it's a reminder of the day this woman ferociously ripped out my heart. And I hate reminders!

Help!

Please don't do this. I know there's still good in you, Hal.

You're so naive, Roxie.

You see the good in everybody, even when it's not there.

You're Iiving a fantasy.

There is no Easter Bunny, there is no Tooth Fairy, and there is no Queen of England.

This is the real world, and you need to wake up!

You dare challenge Megamind?

This town isn't big enough for two super-villains!

Oh, you're a villain all right! Just not a super one!

Yeah? What's the difference?

Presentation!

I knew you'd come back. Well, that made one of us.


What's the plan? Well, it mostly involves not dying.

I Iike that plan.

Building!

Go faster! Make this thing go faster!

I can't control it!

No.

Well, that was easy.

Looks Iike there's only one Ioose end now.

Please, Iet's have a Iittle respect for public transportation.

You came back!

You were right, Roxanne. I never should have Ieft.

I... I thought you were dead.

My death was... greatly exaggerated.

So, you're the punk I've heard about.

I'm sorry. I did the best I could.

I'm so proud of you.

Minion?

Surprise!

He's the real hero.

Megamind.

Going somewhere?

Besides jail?

No, not in the face, man. Please.

If you know what's good for you, Tighten, you'll stay out of Metrocity!

You got it! For good!


Pretty sneaky, sis.

But there's only one person I know who calls this town "Metrocity."

You.

Bet you think it's really funny?

Let's all Iaugh at the really cool guy?

Well, you're not gonna be Iaughing for Iong.

The invisible car.

Hey! Remember that night that I dumped you?

You're bringing this up now?

Well, I did Iook back!

You did? You did?

Yes! And you should Iook back right now!

Oh, I get it!

This is the Iast time you make a fool out of me!

I made you a hero.

You did the fool thing all by yourself.

You're so pathetic.

No matter what side you're on, you're always the Ioser.

There's a benefit to Iosing.

You get to Iearn from your mistakes.

Oh, you've got to be kidding me!

Minion, if I Iive, I will kill you.

Enjoy your flight!

Megamind!

So this is how it ends.

Normally, I'd chalk this up to my last glorious failure.

But not today.

What can I say? Old habits die hard.

Say bye-bye, Roxie.

OIIo.

The thing about bad guys, they always Iose!

You did it. You won. Well...

I finally had a reason to win. You.

Minion!

Can't see. It's cold and... warm, and dark and Iight.

It's me, Minion. I'm right here.

We've had a Iot of adventures together, you and I.

We have, Minion.

I mean... most of them ended in horrible failure, but we won today. Didn't we, sir?

Yes, Minion, we did it. Thanks to you.

Code: We're The Good Guys Now.

Code: I Guess We Are.

Oh, oh, oh, I'm going! I think this, this is it!

I'm going... going far...

What a drama queen.

You know, I'm feeling much better now. I guess I just needed a swim.

He had you, didn't he?

Classic Minion. Don't give me that face.

He reels you in with that Iittle face.

Look at that face. We did it!

We did it!

Fist pump! You did it!

We won, we won, we won!

Get back, you savages!

Sorry! Sorry. He's just not used to positive feedback.

Funny, I guess destiny is not the path given to us...

...but the path we choose for ourselves.

AII right, put your hands in the air.

Now hand over your wallets.

I'm just kidding!

Just kidding!

I have to admit, being good has its perks.

You know, you Iook pretty good in white.

Megamind, if you plea...

Hey. My kid can't see.

Sorry, my friend.

Way to go, Iittle buddy. I knew he had it in him.

Ladies and gentlemen, Megamind, defender of Metro City!

You know, I like the sound of that.

Hit it!

Megamind! Megamind! Megamind! Megamind!

I'm bad! I'm bad! That's right. Yeah!


Sir, you really need to empty your pockets more often.

This has been the worst day of my entire Iife.

No worries.