Miseria e nobilta (1954) Script

EXCELSA FILM AND TOTO'

ARE PLEASED TO HAVE YOU ATTEND THE PERFORMANCE OF MISERY AND NOBILITY

Don Arturo, is this really Scarpetta's best comedy?

Every time Eduardo Scarpetta writes a comedy, they say it's the best. And since this is the last one...

Do you know the actors? It's written here on the program.


So many people! Maybe too many. Let's hope we have fun.

Mrs. Margherita, be quiet. They're about to begin.


Someone rang. Why didn't you open?

I am not your servant.

From the way they rang, I think they're looking for you.

We're not waiting for anyone, so we won't open the door.

No, dear Concetta. I realize it's difficult for two families to live together in this sumptuous apartment, and that you ladies have a right to argue every moment, but we must open the door.

Dear Luisella, it could be good luck knocking at our home.

If it finds the door closed, it'll get angry and leave.

I'll go. Alright?

Thank that idiot husband of mine who believes in good luck, but don't expect me to open!

Pasqualino, who was at the door? Nobody.

So you heard the doorbell? Yes. So what?

You should open, you're below. When they'll knock on the roof, I'll open.

The door must be opened, otherwise, after knocking, people will leave.

Pasquale, do you expect people to leave before knocking?

It's obvious. It could be a client.

Someone looking for you to have a letter written, or for me, to have a picture taken.

My Pasquale, nobody looks for us.

Not even the Carabinieri Maresciallo. Mark my words.

Unfortunately, our trades are becoming less popular.

People have learned to write.

Nobody comes to have a letter written anymore.

And photographs? That's even worse.

People have pictures taken by real photographers.

Unfortunately, we must change trades.

I was born to be a photographer. That was your mistake.

You shouldn't have been born. Sorry if I was born!

Well, you're here now...

Pupella...

Pupella, are you eating? Dad, I'm hungry.

In such a poor home, how can you wake up hungry?

She didn't wake up hungry, she fell asleep like that.

But she must not eat without saying it, or offering.

I am eating a piece of onion. Onion!

A girl like you eats that stuff?

You should eat rose petals. Give it to me.

This is porters' food, photographers' food.

There's no water! The minute it's gotten, it's gone.

Don't look at me, I don't wash! I do, sometimes.

I am a man of literature, a clean person.

I don't digest dirty people.

Speaking of digesting, before going, leave me money.

We're out of bicarbonate soda and you must digest?

No, Felice, I want to shop for groceries.

Right. In fact, I am going to work to earn money to buy what is needed.

Sure! I know that when you earn some money, you spend it with other women. Me?

I spend my money with women? He knows.

That happened many years ago.

You're telling me you haven't looked at women in many years?

No, my Luisella, we live off of misunderstandings here.

I meant I haven't eaten a nice meal in years.

He knows that. Alright.

But if I catch you talking to the Piedmont woman again...

What Piedmont woman?

Did I go to Piedmont? Never.

I never moved from Naples. He knows that.

I'm talking about the dressmaker downstairs.

A dressmaker? Downstairs? A woman?

There're a woman downstairs? Pasquale, take a good look.

What are you saying, Luisella? Alright...

But you mustn't fall for women.

Luisella, if I fall, I fall dead from hunger!

He knows that. I know everything!

Peppeniello! Where are you? Let's go.

Pasquale, your poor daughter didn't have dinner last night.

Your poor husband didn't either. That's why I'm going out.

Let's go. Au revoir, my family.

Let's hope today is better than yesterday.

Where's that soldier who came every day to have a letter written?

Discharged.

Don Gioacchino, our respects. Tell me something, Gaetano.

Those people on the third floor...

Dad! What is it?

The landlord is here! Don Gioacchino!

Every man for himself! No, Felice...

This way. It's open.

Go, go...

Bobby... Bobby...

Rascal. You always run under the bed.

Come here.

Rascal! I won't do anything to you.

Come out.

Don't run away.

You've become spiteful. I can't stand it.

Don't run away, Bobby!

Bobby... Excuse me. I'm looking for my dog.

You found us instead. Excuse us, madam.

We came because we were playing hide-and-seek.

To entertain the boy. But I'm too undressed!

No, dressed too much... You look fine.

Are you the Piedmont lady? Yes, you live right below us.

We often speak of you at home. Really?

My wife likes you very much.

How nice! Don Felice, I'd like a favor.

What is it?

Do you still work under the San Carlo porticos?

I do home service. He writes in homes.

No. Will the gala performance in honor of the Shah of Persia be held tomorrow? I think so.

It will be.

These Neapolitan ladies are driving me crazy.

They all want a hat for tomorrow. I worked all night.

I am dead tired.

When they put out the poster, will you tell me?

Of course. If he doesn't come, I will.

The lady told me. I will come.

Thank you, Mr. Felice. You are really nice.

I like you lots and lots.

The lady likes lotus.

No, she like you lots!

Me? Don't look!

I was looking at the jam. Don't look at it.

May I look at it? It must be good.

Breakfast? That, too.

Please...

I must eat at this hour.

Got that? The lady must eat at this hour.

Her! Even if I'm not hungry, I do so out of habit.

We eat at any hour. Never!

I still haven't gotten used to your cuisine.

Our cuisine? How can you?

We aren't used to it either! I meant Neapolitan cuisine.

Yes, the Neapolitan one.

Here, in Naples, you cook everything with oil.

In the north, we cook everything with butter.

You cook with butter. Everything.

We use oil, instead. We use up demijohns of oil.

We even put it in salad!

We even make spots with it. No!

See? This is an oil spot. While spots in Piedmont are made with butter. No! Not that.

But we use lots of it, even in our coffee-milk.

We don't put anything in our coffee-milk.

Nether milk or coffee. They don't put anything!

Let's change the subject. You don't like coffee-milk??

Yes, but... You prefer chocolate?

Rolls, "maritozzi"... Please...

Don't touch other people's things!

No, poor thing! Let him be. He's just a child.

There are adults, too. Here, dear.

Thanks. Dad, I'll go see if Don Gioacchino is still there.

Go, little one.

Don't get an indigestion. Glutton!

Excuse him. Children love jam.

Then they become men and hate seeing it.

In fact, we don't see it anymore.

Why do you always run under the bed and make Mommy angry?

Behave. Don Felice... Yes, Miss?

Remember the poster. As soon as I see it...

What happened? A mosquito.

A big mosquito bit me.

I'm sorry. Give me the fingernail back.

It was a terrible bite. They bring Malaria.

When you drink, I'll drink too.

I'm not going today to get water.

Don't expect me to go!

Mom, Don Gioacchino, the landlord, is coming up.

I'll get water. No, I'll go.

I'll go. Leave it!

Good morning, Luisella. Good morning, Don Gioacchino.

Is your husband here? No.

But there is Concetta. Talk to her.

Don Felice, I am always alone and am pleased when you come.

The pleasure is mine. I will surely come.

If he can't come, I will. No, Pasquale!

I will visit the lady.

I will come too, so we can have a party.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

You even have the courage to deny, scoundrel!

You had better not come back.

This is his gratitude after my sacrifices for him.

Don Gaetano, believe me, I was a lady.

If he keeps it up, I'll take my things and return to Mom.

Good for you! Luisella...

Excuse me. Will you do me a tiny, tiny favor?

What do you want? I'm in love with Pupella.

You should tell her...

You tell her. That is not my trade.

As you wish, beautiful.

You owe me 5 months rent. This is the last time I come.

We ask for nothing better! I'll sit and wait for him.

Why do you always talk to my husband? Talk to Don Felice too.

With both. I won't move until they come.

They must pay me. Otherwise, first citation...

Then, second citation...

Then, sentence and confiscation.

Confiscation... What'll they confiscate?

Look at their situation!

Pasquale! The morning in honor of the Shah of Persia, will be held.

Good, so we'll go back to the Piedmont lady!

Peppeniello...

As soon as the first client comes, run to the pizza man and order the usual pizza.

Don't worry, Dad.

Good morning. I'm going to order a pizza.

Yes? Some information.

What? Which is the road to the station?

Peppeniello!

A false alarm.

With so many people in Naples, did you have to ask me the road to the station?

You think I'm here to have fun? I can write the information, I can do a map, but you must pay me.

How absurd! I wanted information, not a letter.

You are absurd!

Exploiter of human blood!

Dad, well? We got close.

It takes patience.

Darn! This must be a client. Don't look.

Otherwise, he'll feel uneasy and won't stop.

Dad, can I go? Just a minute.

You know where the station is? Yes, but why ask that?

You must write a letter for me. Run.

So... A paper letter.

Not a porcelain one? Something beautiful.

Are you ignorant? Yes.

Bravo, cheers for ignorance! Everyone should be like that.

If you have children, don't send them to school.

I don't have any. Have them live in ignorance.

I only have a nephew. You must write the letter to him.

How old is he? 45.

Here it is. Whose is it?

We write the letters before, so...

You don't know what I want to say. But we'll save time.

You know my business? Your nephew is 45?

I wrote this 3 years ago.

For a 42 year old gentleman. But he wasn't my nephew.

It doesn't matter. I don't like it.

You want it written over again? All over again.

I will, but you'd have saved money with this letter.

If you want a new one, ok. Good.

That is why we are here.

Will you dictate, please? Write...

"Naples."

"Naples, etc, etc."

"Dear Giuseppe, nephew..."

"Dear Giuseppe" is enough. He's my nephew.

If you want, I'll write it. "Dear Giuseppe, nephew."

Hurry. "Nephew..."

"In Naples I doing the life of a gentleman."

"In Naples I doing..." I doing?

It's wrong. You don't like it?

It should be "I'm doing". Ok, it's more correct.

You have me make mistakes.

Incredible...

I bought this suit.

Nice fabric. It changed colors!

I always pay. Good for you!

You always pay? Good...

Peppeniello, get two pizzas!

"In the evening I going to the Tabarin."

It should be "I go", not "I going".

"And I leave when they clost."

It's raining ink here!

Clost? "Clost the doors."

When they close! You said "clost"...

"Close."

"For this reason..." Tell me your thoughts and I'll...

"For this reason, send me some money."

Some money? "I don't even have money to pay the scribe who is writing this letter."

And then? Put the salutation.

Period.

What salutation?

Go away. What'll I do?

I won't throw the inkwell at you because I need it. Get out!

"Clost", "gone"... Everything happens to us!

He just wasted my time. The pizzas are ready, I need money.

What money and what pizzas? I'm not hungry anymore.

I don't want to eat anymore. Come here.

Here. Go to the Cavaliere. Let's hope he helps us today too.

Don Pasquale must pay rent.

Felice must think of me and his son.

Sure. You take good care of that boy!

You don't even get him shirt. I do too much.

He's not my son, but the son of his first wife.

You mean "the real wife"!

Mrs. Concetta, be quiet or I'll get in trouble.

No, I'll get in trouble.

No, I'll get in trouble.

No, I will. I will!

No, I got in trouble by renting you this house!

Mom, forget it.

Yes. Let's forget it.

Don Gioacchino, did you know she's not Don Felice's wife?

His real wife is not dead. They've been separated 6 years.

I don't care about these things.

Mom, it's 2 p.m. Dad isn't back yet. When are we eating?

My child, what can I do?

I certainly can't ask Don Gioacchino for a loan.

Of course not!

I'm going to the pawn shop. Good for you, Mom.

I will pawn your dad's coat and a sheet.

That way he'll learn to leave us at home without food.

Dear Felice, things don't change. Yes.

Someone who learned to write and studied hard, must be at the mercy of those who don't know how to write.

There is a client.

It's Marquis Eugenio. Marquis!

You want a photograph? No, thanks.

So...? Don Pasquale, do me a favor.

Of course. Take this note to the theater to Miss Gemma. They're rehearsing and won't let anyone in.

But you... They know me.

To her personally. Alright. You wait here.

You'll be here when I return. I won't move, don't worry.

I am worrying.

Will you please check my stuff? Go.

Where are you going? You can't.

I must take a note from the Marquis.

You're a photographer or postman? One and the other.

We'll split his tip in half.

Then I'll be momentarily distracted.

Yes, but don't lose sight of the marquis.

I'll be right back. I'll take care of it.


Excuse me. Who is Miss Gemma? That one.

The first one? No, the tall, blond one.

Thank you. Hide, or they'll kick you out.

Miss Gemma, Marquis Eugenio sends you this note.

Is there an answer? No.

No answer? No, you can go. Thank you.

"Dear Gemma, I'll be waiting at the usual time to tell you about my plan. Your Eugenio."

Shall we do it? Yes.

Photographer!

Where is the photographer? Yes?

Are you the photographer? No, I am his assistant.

Pasquale, the photographer, is my partner. I can do it.

Very well. We want a picture taken.

Both of you? Yes.

Are you newlyweds? We married two days ago.

How lovely! She's cute.

Darn! May I? She's very cute!

My compliments. No.

Believe me. I know life...

Yes, a lovely photo. Let's go.

Let's go... yes...

Stop.

Is it ok without the heads? What?

We'll take it in two phases. What?

First the heads, then the bodies, and then we'll attach them.

No! I want a normal photograph.

It will be easier for you. No, take the picture.

Ready? Get lower.

Get lower.

More... more...

Lower, down, down, down...

I don't see you anymore.

Newlyweds, where are you?

Where you put us!

Madam, you come up.

Come up... There.

You back up. Lower yourself as much as you can.

Alright... Will I come out in the photo?

Well? You'll ruin the photograph.

No! I want a normal photo.

What is Felice up to?

Darn! It's beautiful. Come see.

I want to see. I'll take your place.

You were like this? I would embrace her like this.

I don't see anything. What?

Nothing. Is it possible?

Are you ready now? Yes.

Ready? Ready!

Who are you? The groom.

What does he want? I don't see anything.

How is it possible? I see a black dot.

Me too. Wait.

These machines get dirty.

Did it come off? Yes, it did.

What happened? It was his eye!

How insolent! What a lousy photographer!

Let's go. It's crazy!

You put on such airs!

Did you see? Did you see?

I said that! Then what do I say?

One can't work with such clients.

I haven't taken a photograph in a month.

If you want, take one of me.


Pupella, I'll be right back. Do as you wish.

It doesn't matter if you don't return. As long as Mom does.

Madam, it's been closed for over 5 minutes.

Don Gioacchino, what were you doing in that home?

Those gentlemen owe me 5 months rent.

Why are you in this area?

I will tell you, but don't tell Dad.

I'm in love with Pupella. You're on bad terms with your dad?

Always clashing, always.

Two months ago I took 3,000 Lira from his desk.

He got angry, offended, and kicked me out of the house.

What a lousy father! True.

You don't need money, you found a girl with a dowry!

Don't be funny. I know Pupella isn't rich.

If I were you, I wouldn't kiss her.

Why not? She'll bite you!

For 3 days she hasn't...

Her mother went to the pawn store.

What? My Pupella is in this situation?

We must help her, but I don't have a cent.

Neither do I. But I've credit with restaurants.

Let's go order a nice meal. No.

Until they come, I won't move. How much do they owe you?

5 months. I'll pay it.

Your word of honor? Yes.

Here is Mrs. Concetta.

Mrs. Concetta, you didn't get anything done?

It was closed. Goodbye. Say hello to Pasquale.

You're not waiting for him? I'll come in a few days.

No, in a few months.

I'll come when I can. As you wish.

Mrs. Concetta, enjoy. Thank you.

Enjoy, my beauty.

If your dad won't make peace, how can you give me money?

Do you know my sister?

The dancer? The "prima ballerina"!

She adores me and Dad does what she wants. Let's go to the restaurant.

My parents consider your dad a "nouveau rich".

He is a proper person. I know.

They are fixed on nobility.

For them, he's still a cook who inherited from his master.

You don't know how my uncle, Prince Casador, is!

Then marry your uncle!

Gemma, I love you, and will find a solution.

This morning I met the person who can help us.

Remember the man who brought you the note?

We haven't eaten in 3 days and he says "enjoy"!

He doesn't know what state we are in.

It must be Dad. Here.

Dad, finally you're back. Give us money to buy groceries.

I haven't earned a cent since this morning.

Nothing? This poor child is hungry.

Are you hungry? Very much.

It's a sign of good health!

They are bad days. Do another trade.

I tried being a postman but wasn't able to.

What'll we do? When Felice comes back, I'll try asking for a loan.

I helped him many times, this time he'll help me.

That must be Felice. Pupella, go open.

When you saw it was late, you should've pawned something.

I went, but it was closed. Even that?

It's Peppeniello.

Where is your father?

He's coming. I ran ahead because he wanted to kick me.

Kick you? He should kill you.

That way, it'll be over. What did you do?

Nothing. He'd given me a letter to take to the Cavaliere.

I put it in my pocket with some pizza my compare gave me.

The letter got soiled. The Cavaliere didn't want it.

You must learn a trade, and leave home!

We can't support you! I'll leave, don't worry.

I'm going to my compare. He'll give me something to eat.

I'd like to come too!

He'll find me a job and I won't ever come back!

Peppeniello!

You're letting him go like that? Poor thing!

They only mistreat him. Mind your own business.

This doesn't concern you. I mind my own business.

But I feel sorry for him. Look who is talking!

We're so weak, and waste energy arguing?

That should be Felice. Finally!

Good morning, Felice. Good morning, Pasquale.

We were waiting for you. You could've begun eating.

You don't understand. We were waiting for your money.

This morning I didn't earn anything.

And you were waiting for me? How can you think that?

I didn't even write a postcard all morning.

I sent Peppeniello to ask the Cavaliere for help...

I met him on the stairs. Where did he go?

He left home.

He said he was going to work at his compare's.

He went to get another pizza. Pizza... We talk a lot here.

But we never eat. Don't get depressed.

Until there's life, there's hope. Concetta, know who I met?

The marquis. Great! I'm not hungry anymore.

There's no use talking to you!

He is a noble Neapolitan.

When his mother died, I went to his home to photograph her.

If your wife doesn't care, why should I?

It was just conversation. Forget it.

The marquis' father is a ladies' man.

By the way... Why did you say that?

Ladies' man. Loser! Enough!

Enough!

Yes, enough! It's a hell. We eat bread and poison here!

Only poison!

Concetta, what did you want to pawn?

Your overcoat. What?

You still have one? Winter is coming up...

Should I catch pneumonia? Ok, I'll sacrifice it.

The pawn store is closed. Go to the charcutier.

To who? The charcutier.

Who is that? The grocer.

Then speak clearly. The store keeper.

Leave him this and get a kilo and a half of spaghetti.

Don't get big pasta because I don't digest it.

With your hunger, you'd digest contrabass strings!

Have him give you a can of tomatoes too.

I like spaghetti full of sauce.

Shall we make the sauce with sausage?

With sausage?

Have him give you a kilo of sausage.

Don't get the ready made one.

He has a meat-chopper machine.

He'll make it in front of you.

We can't just eat spaghetti and sausage.

Shall we make a nice pan of eggs?

Fried eggs?

Eggs? Yes. Then... 10 eggs.

You eat eggs? If you give them to me...

Make sure they are fresh. If not, forget it.

We'll make them with mozzarella? Yes, it's how they're made.

Get half a kilo of very fresh mozzarella of Aversa.

Make sure it is good.

Press it with your fingers.

If milk oozes out, get it. If not, forget it.

That's it? Some dried fruit.

Get 5 Lira cash and go to the wine store.

Tell the vendor the photographer sends you.

Get two liters of sparkling Gragnano.

Make sure it's Gragnano, taste it.

If it's sparkling, ok. If not... Forget it.

What else?

Go to the tobacco store and get 2 cigars for you and me.

And bring me the change.

There's Napoleon's coat in here.

What? It's the coat I had when I got married.

I know it.

If I go to the sciattonier with this coat, he'll kick me out!

Besides, I can't go. Why not?

He has a suit I pawned and never picked up.

I left him blankets.

Excuse me. Marquis, what an honor!

The marquis is here. A chair for the Marquis.

A chair. Here it is.

Ah, you got it.

Sit down. A chair!

A chair for the marquis.

The best one... The best one isn't here.

The one below. Excuse me, Marquis.

Please.

Sit down.

You're standing? Excuse me, Marquis!

Sit down. Sorry, I was distracted.

This morning I didn't see you, you disappeared.

To what do we owe this visit? I need you.

Don Pasquale, you must help me.

It's a favor only you and your wife can do for me.

He hasn't come to ask us for money, huh?

If he does, I'll slug him.

What is it?

Don Pasquale...

Can I speak freely in front of him?

You can trust him. Felice is my brotherly friend.

Let me introduce him. Felice Sciosciammocca.

Stand up. I can't, I'm stuck.

Pull...

He pulled up the whole works!

A pleasure. Not much... My back...

Did you see that girl this morning?

The dancer? Cute! I want to marry her.

He wants to marry her. Then marry her.

My family is against it. She's a cook's daughter, Gaetano Semmolone, the cook who inherited money from his boss.

Cook... What a lovely word!

Your noble family won't accept a dancer, a cook's daughter.

Marry the cook. Don't joke!

I am serious. I'm marrying her anyway.

They'll have to accept her. But... But?

Gemma's father wants me to go to him with my family.

Don Pasquale, only you can save me.

How? Marry the cook.

Don't joke! A cook in the family is nice.

You will be Marquis Ottavio Favetti, my father.

You, Countess del Pero, my aunt. Me, a countess?

You could be the Prince of Casador, my uncle.

Me? Prince of Cassarola?

Casador! It can't be.

I'm not on that level. You've a more modest relative?

For example, a cook. The cook exists.

The vice cook? There is one.

The assistant cook? There is one.

I want to be in the kitchen. Don't joke, Felice, please.

Think it over carefully.

If your girlfriend's father, the cook, catches on, he could beat us.

We're not in a physical condition to react to beatings.

Don't worry, it'll be ok. I hope so.

Help! Again, Felice?

Pull...

What is it? A nail.

My poor lower parts! Easy...

The back of the chair, here! So, do we agree?

Just a minute, I don't remember who I am.

Prince Casador, my uncle. What about me?

Marquis Ottavio Favetti. I am Favetti.

And I am Cassarola. And who am I?

Countess del Pero, my aunt. I'm not anything?

I can't leave my daughter at home. Does she have a role?

Yes. The marquis is good. We'll find a character.

Prince... Marquis... Countess del Pero...

A queen is missing. Don't joke!

My aunt has a daughter. She can be my cousin, the young Countess.

Lovely! I'll be a countess!

Remember to look noble, haughty.

I'll look naughty. What are you saying?

He said "naughty". Haughty!

Excuse me.

How will we go? We're too weak to walk.

How should we be dressed?

Put on your Sunday clothes.

These are our clothes for Easter and New Year's.

That's it. I'll send you clothes tomorrow.

Heavy woolen underwear. What for?

You can't see it. But we need it!

You will be well compensated. Thank you.

I want to say something.

We'll eat before coming, but if we should be hungry, is there anything to eat?

Sure! There's broth, pasta...

There are starters... caviar, oysters.

Turkey filet. Cod fish filet.

Pheasants. Beans.

Cheese, tea. Food for you and me.

Custard pudding, pies... Mustard pudding...

Pasquale... Pasquale! Perk up.

Pasquale has just eaten.

If you mention food, he becomes nauseous.

My head is spinning. Think of people who are hungry.

I'm dizzy. Come on...

Marquis, must we go far?

This is the address.

Cavalier Gaetano Semmolone.

Riviera di Chiaia, 155.

So it's agreed? Yes, you're in good hands.

Mrs. Concetta... Good-day. Accompany the marquis.

My respects. Marquis, excuse me.

What is it?

This gentleman who should be your uncle, Prince Casador, didn't say he had a wife. I am she.

I could come and be the princess.

I'm sorry, but my aunt, the princess, is very ill.

Everyone knows. She hasn't left the house in a year.

Hear that? If there had been another character, the marquis would have proposed it.

The marquis' aunt is seriously ill.

He may go home, and find that she's dead.

You want to be dead? Go in the kitchen and prepare lunch.

Marquis, see you tomorrow. Goodbye.

Accompany the marquis.

Remember the clothes. The undershirts!

They're not necessary. They are.

I don't have any. Listen!

Who was it? Me.

You'll make me fall, face to the ground.

Enough! I don't want to live this life anymore.

Tomorrow get back all my things.

All my things! Don't raise your voice.

Who knows what the people who hear think!

What was pawned? A villa, a building, steamboat, a tricycle?

A small ring for which I received 100 petty Lira.

When you needed it, is wasn't petty!

When you love a man, you sacrifice anything for him.

Be quiet! No. I will speak!

I told you many times not to talk when I am here.

Let the man talk! Sure.

Is Pasquale a man? I'm not?

I was saying... Is Pasquale a man to argue over?

I'll get everything back. Very good, Felice.

Pasquale will give me the money. Don't joke!

Don't bother with her, Don Felice.

Who're you talking about? You!

Come here. Come here!

Stop it!

Stop it! We are proper people.

I'm a gentleman and am out of place in this dump.

We are not Guelfi and Ghibellini!

I am not a Ghibellino!

It's impossible to live here!

My gosh!

We eat bread and poison here.

I told you, we only eat poison here.


A mirage!

I dreamed of the dancer's father, the cook.


Excuse me.

Excuse me, this morning I forgot my gloves.

Here they are. Thank you.

Take care, Don Gioacchino. Goodbye.

Excuse me.

What are you doing? We're not hungry and are dancing.

I wanted to say I am not returning to his house.

Thank heavens! Goodbye.

It's the 3rd basket of flowers I've brought. What are you doing?

It's Miss Gemma's name day.

Best wishes! See you in a bit.

Bye. Goodbye.

Excuse me... Do you know a Don Vincenzo?

I am he. I have a letter for you.

A letter? From Don Michele, the middleman.

It has grease stains. It always happens to me.

It always happens?

"Dear Vincenzo, this poor boy is the son of my compare."

"But he is practically alone in the world."

"His parents don't take care of him. He needs a job."

"Can you have your boss hire him?"

"From your friend Michele."

What is your name? Peppeniello.

I'll try, but if the boss says no, you must leave.

And go where? I am starving.

I realize that, but...

Get back there and don't move.

I'll try. If all goes well, I'll call you. What's this?

The servant's outfit that Michele gave me.

A servant's outfit...

If we want to get you in this house, you must say you are my son.

You must call me "Dad".

If you'll let me eat, I'll even call you "Mom"!

That's it! Go.

I'd gladly have waited for her, but I cannot.

My daughter went for a walk. She'll be back soon.

I'll go applaud her at the theater. Thank you.

So many lovely flowers! But your corbel is the nicest!

Corbeille! Yes, in fact.

It's nothing. I even brought a little diamond ring.

With my initial. B as in Bebé.

Bebé, excuse me. What is your name?

What do you care? Call me Bebé. It's my pseudonym.

Then I'll call you Bebé Pseudonym.

What is it? I want to say something.

Wait a moment. I'm talking to the gentleman. How rude!

For the time being, I thank you.

Then my daughter will thank you. Goodbye.

What do you want?

My dear Gemma... Bebé...

I came to wish you all the happiness your heart desires.

Thank you. And also to... offer you this gift in memory of Mr. Bebé.

Good for you.

Cute! Cute? They are diamonds!

So what? Bettina, put it away. Yes, Miss.

Miss Gemma, if you were less cruel with me, I could do many things for you!

You would be willing to do anything for me.

Except marry me. Miss Gemma...

I belong to a noble family and my family doesn't...

Your family is right.

Dancers ruin men. Forget about them.

I cannot live without you. Then marry me.

I'll come to the theater today, and to your home tonight.

Your father asked me to come for coffee.

If it pleases him, then come. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Miss.

You always find relatives who oppose a marriage?

Yes, but Eugenio's family must accept it, after we marry.

If the deceit is found out? Everything will be ok.

Be careful. Men today have fun in deceiving girls.

What are you saying? Eugenio is crazy about me.

My husband was crazy about me too.

You're married? I married 8 years ago.

I married a man called Felice Sciosciammocca.

Is he dead? I wish!

We separated 2 years later. Why?

He had a relationship, that scoundrel!

I found out, and we separated. How you must have suffered.

I still suffer, but not for him.

For my son. He took him away and didn't let me see him again.

You have a son? Yes.

You haven't seen your husband since? No. It's best for him.

I swear on my honor that if I see him, I'll stop being separated, and be a widow!

Poor Bettina!

To have you hired, I said you were my son.

So, if someone asks, what will you answer?

I'll answer, "Vincenzo is my father."

Right. If they ask, you say, "Vincenzo is my father." Let's go.

Did you want something? Yes.

I wanted to see how much that second servant sleeps.

When I ring, he doesn't come. Forgive him, he's a bit stupid.

Who is this boy? Peppeniello. Say hello.

Your servant, Excellency. Dear... Finally!

Are you Vincenzo's son? Vincenzo is my father.

Of course...

I'll give this boy 10 Lira a month.

It's too much!

If he's good, I'll increase it. Thank you so much, Excellency.

What do you say? Vincenzo is my father.

Yes, I know. Look at this bell.

With one ring, it calls my daughter's maid.

It's not your business, and you don't move.

With two rings, I call your father or the other servant.

Yes, Excellency? What do you want?

You rang twice.

I've rung for 5 months and you never came.

This time I didn't ring to call you, and you came.

Go away.

Today is a feast day and I don't want to get angry.

Boy, be careful.

If I ring twice, I'm calling your father or that donkey.

And I don't move. No.

If I ring 3 times, I call you, so come.

Don't worry, the boy is very intelligent. Right?

Vincenzo is my father.

The boy may be intelligent but I am not deaf.

He's told me that 3 times!

He's just a boy.

Excellency, there's a carriage full of high class people outside.

They're the nobles! The marquis' family that has come to ask for the hand of Gemma.

Go receive them.

No! Please...

With that face, you'd chase them away.

You go, you're more intelligent. I'll take care of the boy.

Make a nice bow. I'll go right away.

Go over there.

You... come here.

Hold still, don't move. That's it.

Don't move.

Whatever happens, don't move.

What if I should sneeze? Hold it back. Don't move!

Marquis Ottavio Favetti and his son, Eugenio.

Yes... Come, Dad. Here's the Cavaliere.

Mr. Marquis... the honor you are giving me today is so great, that I almost seem to have become idiotic.

Come, aunt and uncle.

I've the pleasure of introducing Countess del Pero, my aunt.

I'm very fortunate, madam.

The young Countess, her daughter. My pleasure.

And Prince of Casador, my uncle.

Prince...

You have honored me so much today...

Enough. It's seems that today is a holiday.

Enough. I am impotent because I cannot return what today you...

Enough.

But... Enough.

Dear sir...

We... today, condescended to come to this poor house, and to you, who despite your being rich, are a poor soul.

Take it!

What home did I come to?

Imbecile! Why didn't you take the prince's hat?

You said I shouldn't move.

What kind of home did you take me to?

Prince, forgive him. Enough!

They fell. He insists!

Does he know who we are? Forgive him.

Enough! But I...

Silence!

When can I speak?

Uncle, allow him to talk to you.

Him? To me?

I will grant it. Thank you.

Prince, I wanted to simply say that I am touched for having met this lustrous and illustrated family.

How horrible! It was better if you'd kept quiet.

Let's sit down.

What a home! Sit down.

Go get ice-cream.

You're the father of the girl that my son says he loves so much?

Mush? Much.

Much... Exactly.

I assure you my daughter will bring him an unspeakable love.

She has a real passion. What heresy!

When have dancers ever loved with passion?

Don't make me laugh. Prince...

Maybe you're right. Dancers have extravagant natures, but my daughter...

I was somewhat against this marriage.

It's true. But then, after seeing my son crying morning, noon, and night...

He always cried. Always.

I said to myself, "Let's please him."

Actually, he can do as he pleases.

He has a 600,000 Lira income.

600,000 Lira?

Oh, yes! 600,000 Lira.

What are 600,000 Lira?

Who has ever seen them?

Who has ever seen them in cash?

We only use checks. He knows that.

Every check is like this.

My brother, the prince, made out his will in his favor.

Yes, all my millions are his. What is it to me?

Excuse me, Prince. My daughter is your neice too.

Dear sister, I do what I want with my millions.

It's not the time to talk about it. Right.

I was somewhat against this marriage, but the countess wasn't favorable either.

She was a bit hard at first. It's true.

The countess was hard many years ago.

Now she is soft. Be quiet!

I couldn't be happy becoming the relative of a dancer.

But since Marquis Ottavio and Prince of Cassarola...

Of Casador!

The countess pronounces all last names incorrectly.

Since they were favorable, and the girl has good principles and even better aims, I condescended.

Excellency, the ice-cream is here.

Ice-cream. Ice-cream!

You like ice-cream! Why all this bother?

We are used to eating ice-cream.

Always ice-cream. Always.

How is yours?

I like nibbling on other people's ice-cream.

When will you show Miss Gemma to us?

Yes, show us your gem. Right away, Vincenzo.

Go call Miss Gemma and ask her to come down.

Luigi, Dad doesn't want to see you anymore.

You must convince him to make peace.

Or what sister are you? But Dad is right.

You used to be content with 500 Lira. Now you took 3,000!

Life gets more expensive.

Ok, I'll try talking to Dad. Go, and come back tomorrow.

How will I reach tomorrow? I must make peace right away.

But we have guests today. Then go.

I'll wait for Dad to tell him they are imposters.

You're a blackmailer! Aren't you ashamed?

Just kidding. Have me make peace with Dad, and I'll play along.

Miss, the Cavaliere is waiting for you in the living room.

I'll be right there. Hide, I'll call when I can.

Thank you.

Don't forget.

Not because she's my daughter, but she's a small jewel.

Yes, I saw her dance and she is very talented.

I think she is better than all the dancers I saw in Paris.

Were you in Paris, Prince? I know Paris better than Naples.

Brother, how often did we go to France?

Here's Gemma. Come, fortunate daughter.

This is your noble family.

I am honored. Oh, my gosh!

Move.

Let me look. You've got a knockout daughter-in-law!

My niece...

Come in your uncle's arms.

We'll welcome you in the bosom of our family.

You welcome us in yours. Stop it, Uncle!

I know you're being loving, but... What do you know at your age?

Only we know these things!

Prince, my brother, I'd like to understand too.

The countess is right, you can't tire yourself out.

You had meningitis, you must remain calm.

Dearest... Dear Uncle...

I would like to... question this niece.

I'd like information on the marriage.

I'll gladly give it. Come, dear.

Excuse me.

A tout à l'heure, messieurs-dames. Excuse me.

Your brother is so Democratic!

My niece, this marriage is a wonderful move.

Prince... Call me "Uncle".

You are playing your part even too well!

You know it's make believe! Of course.

The uncle is make believe, but the embraces are real.

I will let you embrace me only in the presence of my father.

That is right.

Come. Your father!

Marquis, please, take care of the house honors.

I must give some orders. I'll take care of it.

This way, please.

Pupella?

Luigino? Pupella!

It's not a good moment.

What are you doing here? It's my home. Why are you here?

They're pretending to be my family.

Good! We'll have a chance of being together.

Young man, I am her father! My pleasure.

You are my father-in-law.

You want to be Democratic, too?

Gemma, where are you? Dad!

My dear noble family...

I thought of something, but I fear offending you.

Offending? Careful of what you say.

Let's hear it.

Today is the name day of my daughter, and I ordered the cook to make a special meal.

But maybe the prince could be offended.

Speak, speak up!

Shall I say it? Say it.

And don't change your mind!

Prince, it would be a great honor to have you...

Have us...? Have us...?

Speak. Have you remain for lunch.

What an offense! What an offense!

We are not used to... To eating.

To eating with people who are not on our level.

Patience. We must not give up.

One must insist.

Even we nobles have a stomach. A heart.

A heart in our stomach. Next to it.

To the left. When you go out... Alright.

Countess, what do you think?

If it's to please you... And you, Prince?

We accept.

We accept! Prince...

I shall be grateful all my life.

Does it really please you if we have lunch with you?

Immensely.

So, to make you happy, we'll even stay tomorrow.

Even the day after tomorrow? Even a week?

Even two weeks? Gosh!

Even a month? Even six months.

One year? Two years.

Two years...

We have agreed. Thank you.

Vincenzo!

I could blind one of your eyes. We were doing well... and you stopped at two years. We are still young.

Thank you, dear Prince.

How fortunate for me to have these four nobles in my home for two years.

The two years can be renewed. As you wish.

I have the option. Prince, how fortunate!

I'll give instructions. Who would've imagined so much good fortune.

You're telling me!

How lovely!

Eating every day for two years.

And above all, being away from Luisella.

Be careful. What are you afraid of?

I'll only wear it 2 hours, and will return it this evening. Bye.

If my lady finds out, I'll be in trouble.

Don't worry, you'll have it back this evening. Goodbye, thanks.

Where is the prince? I am here.

Prince...

Prince, your finger.

Gosh!

A mistake.

Why are you in the kitchen?

Unfortunately, for two years this will be my combat site.

We can go. Where?

To the theater to applaud my daughter.

When we return home, we'll sit at the table.

It's early now. My uncle can't come.

His wife, the Princess of Casador, is very ill.

It wouldn't be polite. Right, you go.

I will keep the prince company and organize everything.

Goodbye. Yes, organize.

I like organization. I am a man of order.


Magnificent! What a lovely home!

It is evident that I was born to be a lord.

One rings... a servant comes, and one orders.

I order. Yes, Excellency?

My wife!

Don't fret. Miss Gemma told me everything.

You can trust me. Can I trust you?

Yes. Are you sure?

Sure. I trust you.

Alright.

Felice! Shame! It's you!

You said I could trust you.

You have come to this? You deceive people?

Finally I have caught you!

Don't holler. If he hears, we're ruined.

You're a man without a heart.

Six years without caring if your poor wife was dead or alive.

Six years without having me see my poor child.

My son, Peppeniello.

Where is Peppeniello? Don't holler!

I have a two year contract. You're right.

I can't holler and say who you are, because I would hurt Miss Gemma. Right, you'd hurt her.

You see this? Don't joke.

I'll kill you if you don't tell me where my son is.

Don't play with weapons. Where is my child?

Enough, darn it!

I am the Prince of Casador! You can be whoever you want.

I want my son. I am the prince.

Who cares? I want my son. I don't know you. Enough.

Be quiet or I'll call the servant and have you kicked out.

Yes, Excellency? What is he doing here?

Who is this child? Our son, Peppeniello.

My son! Peppeniello!

You've become so handsome. Give me a kiss.

Who are you? I am your mother.

Your real mother. What is going on?

My son! Vincenzo, this is my son.

I haven't seen him in 6 years.

Why are you in this house? Vincenzo is my father.

My son, tell me everything.

Come.

Prince, excuse me. That boy is my son.

Your son? Yes.


They are about to come, have me make a good impression.

We'll put the prince here. Where is he?

Sleeping in a living room armchair. He is a heavy sleeper.

I squirted water in his face but he didn't wake up.

You squirted water in the prince's face? Are you crazy?

Vincenzo, I entrust you, I don't trust this idiot.

At the end of the meal, I'll make a toast. What do you say?

I'd say yes. What could I say?

What you said at the marriage.

No. Something more noble is needed.

I know.

"I toast to the happiness of this lovely nobility."

Bravo! Bravo, Dad!

Bravo, Dad. Bravo.

The poor man did a fair job.

If he had been closer to me...

Noble friends, let's go in the living room for coffee.

I'd love to. Let's go.

Come...

Prince, you're not coming in the living room?

No. The proverb says, "One doesn't age at the table".

As you wish. Excuse me.

Young man...

Where is Bettina's bedroom?

Near Vincenzo's.

Laugh again in my face... Go on.

Madam, let me justify myself and then do as you wish.

We'll speak tomorrow, when you've digested the champagne.

The champagne? I didn't eat or drink.

Doesn't look like it. I cried during the whole meal.

The tears fell in my plate. I drank a broth of tears.

Imposter, liar.

You are right, Bettina. I made a mistake.

If you hadn't made a scene when you found out about Luisella...

Was I to compliment you?

No, but after being so mortified, I decided not to see you again.

When you had our son called...

What am I saying?

Your son.

The boy spoke. He said, "Vincenzo is my father."

I didn't give him to you because I thought it was the only way for us to make peace one day.

Great excuse! Meanwhile, the poor boy has no shirt.

How can a father send a boy out without a shirt?

It's true.

What would you say, if the father of the boy without a shirt didn't have one, either?

Oh, wonderful! Disgusting!

How can Vincenzo be my son's father?

To have him hired, Vincenzo said he was his son, and told him to tell everyone he was his father.

Is that possible? That is so.

If so, if you told the truth...

My Bettina...

Forgive me. Forgive me.

Prince... Who is it?

Me, Vincenzo. Who?

Vincenzo, the servant. I wanted you. Where are you?

Behind you, Prince.

I was ordered to bring you coffee.

I wanted you, to tell you I didn't want coffee.

As you wish.

Vincenzo, please.

Will you explain to the Prince why Peppeniello calls you "Dad"?

It is just a noble's curiosity.

I will tell you, but Don Gaetano must not know.

Silence. You realize...

Since the boy was in the middle of a street, to have him hired at their service, I told Don Gaetano he was my son.

I'd like the satisfaction of meeting the father.

Sure, meeting the father...

To say to him, "You ugly scoundrel".

To his father? Yes.

"With what courage did you abandon a child in the street?"

"You are a scoundrel!"

To the father? To the father.

Prince, I assure you I'd have the strength to bust his head.

The father's? Yes, his.

Did the Prince think you were my wife?

More or less. No, Prince.

There's nothing between Bettina and me, we are good friends.

Bettina is an honest and hard working girl.

But not her husband.

Her husband is a delinquent scoundrel.

Her husband? Yes.

Excuse me, Prince. Please.

My Bettina, forgive me. I swear I won't make you angry anymore.

We'll see. Bettina.

I want to see Peppeniello.

No, he is sleeping.

If he wakes up and sees you with that moustache, he'll be scared.

I won't wake him. I'll softly give him a kiss.

Alright, let's go.

The prince was kneeling before Bettina saying, "My Bettina, if you told the truth..."

What truth? I don't know.

Maybe he thought that between Bettina and him...

But she said no. A mess! The prince is married.

Bettina is married too, and has a son.

Peppeniello. That boy?

Isn't he your son? Yes, he is.

But the father is Bettina's husband.

I don't understand a thing.

What a mess! I was so happy today.

My daughter's engagement, I made peace with my son.

By the way, did you see that all during lunch, Luigino spoke softly to the young countess?

Good thing nobody noticed.

Dad, why did you leave us alone?

It is not the same without you.

Where did my brother goeth?

What? Where did he goeth?

Where is he? Dad...

I'm taking the countess in the garden, if I may.

No, you may not.

We'll all go to the garden later, right, Marquis?

Excellency, the Princess of Casador.

Your sister-in-law!

She is very sick! Something serious must have happened.

Marquis, take your clothes back, because they'll beat us here.

There must be a misunderstanding. Pasquale, what will happen?

Princess, easy, easy.

Thank you.

Luigino, a chair, hurry. She is Don Felice's wife.

It's Luisella! Luisella...

Easy... Thank you.

Thank you, sir.

You are very kind. Sit down, Princess.

Easy, easy... Easy!

Is she dead? I wish!

Why did you leave home at this hour, and so ill?

I know, I shouldn't have left home.

But I was alone, abandoned by everyone, and said to myself, "Since I must die, I want to die with my beloved relatives."

Then hurry, try to be quick!

I know you don't care much about me, and can't wait for my death, but there's a saying, "Desired death never comes."

If you had any affection for me, you'd have said, "Poor Princess, what is she doing alone at home?"

"We are having fun, drinking, eating, and she is fasting." Fasting?

The doctor ordered that she shouldn't eat.

He had, but now I feel better, and today I ate 2 hard boiled eggs and some bread, to have the strength to come here and see the lovely bride, and because I need to speak to the prince.

By the way, where is the prince?

He must be in the garden.

Then let's go in the garden. Let's go.

Easy...

What an actress! She covered herself with flour.

Easy, don't pull me. I am very weak.

Of course, I am sick, and my legs are shaking.

At this hour, I always have a cough, I breathe with difficulty, have convulsions...

And I only feel better when I see the prince.

Let me see the prince and I will feel better.

Let's go. Let's go see the prince.

Let's go. I want to see the prince.

Go on! Let's go to the prince.

Too many relatives. What'll happen? Let's hope for the best.

My son is so lovely!

His son? Who the hell's son is Peppeniello?

Ours. A bit of everyone's.

You think the prince will mind if we call him?

Miss, Mr. Bebé is here.

You say it with that face? The usual suitor?

Yes. I'll go receive him.

Eugenio... I am curious to meet him.

Give me a kiss.

What a shame!

Mr. Bebé. Eugenio!

Dad! What are you doing here?

I'm your father and want to see what you're doing here.

And so you are Mr. Bebé!

You forbid me to marry a dancer, but then you are her most assiduous suitor.

I repeat that I am your father!

And I don't want you to investigate on my life.

Naturally. But we must see what my aunt, Princess of Casador, thinks about it.

You would never... I will.

You will not.

If you want to marry Gemma, I've nothing against it.

I want your consent.

I will never give it to you!

Then I will go visit Princess of Casador.

Just a moment. Wait!

Let's reach an agreement and an understanding.

Marquis, your father wants you.

I want you?

I'll explain everything. Gemma's father...

Prince, forgive me if I disturbed you, but she wants to talk to you.

Your daughter? No, your wife.

What wife? The princess.

The princess!

The princess? The princess.

I'm going back to Bettina. No, poor thing, she's so ill.

That's the reason, I'm afraid it's contagious.

Send her away.

If she dies here, it's trouble. And you can't even play the lottery.

"Dead princess" is 92.

Get her out of here!

Prince, finally I find you.

I've many things to tell you, my beloved spouse.

Embrace me, and you tell me something, too.

Dear wife, you got out of your bed, so ill?

You could have died.

She could die any minute, but she hasn't.

Brother, what do you say about this unexpected visit?

It pleased us very much. We are all surprised.

Excuse me, you nobles must speak of personal things.

If I may, I will leave. Please.

If I may... You nobles must speak, I'll leave too.

No! Not you.

Go ahead. I want to be alone with my husband, the prince.

My respect, Princess.

It so seems my visit did not please you.

Luisella, you shouldn't have come here.

We are not here to have fun, but to work and earn our soup.

I want soup too. It's finished.

Don't scream, or they'll see who we really are. Silence!

I won't be silent! Don't scream!

I don't want to see you again. I can't stand it.

I am leaving you. Good girl! Hear that?

Very good! You are witnesses. She is leaving me.

They are eye witnesses. Aren't they?

Yes. Eye witnesses.

I'm going, but first you must get my things back.

How much is the pawn money? 247 Lira.

So much fuss over 247 Lira?

247 Lira. Give it to me. You owe me.

What? Can't I find anyone who'll give me 247 Lira not to see her again? I'll give it to you.

Bettina! Your wife!

You sound like cats on a roof!

You are here! Everything is clear and alright now.

So you'll give me 247 Lira.

Because for you, 247 Lira is nothing.

It's nothing because I earn it with my work!

Luisella, leave peacefully, or you'll be forced to leave.

Forced to leave?

Me, forced to leave? Yes.

Did you hear her? She is his wife!

She should take it on her husband who does these swindles.

No, on you, because you're living with a married man.

She's right. She's right.

You cableway without electricity! To me?

My wife has electricity! Be quiet!

Stop! Easy...

Easy!

Noble people... Countess... Princess...

Prince! You lost one of your whiskers.

Me? Oh, no!

Darn, it's true!

Who took it?

Don't bother with it, it's a blood reaction.

In arguments, some lose their calm, others their patience, I lose my hair. This time, I lost a whisker.

The blood reaction pulled my whisker.

Marquis, Countess, Princess... What countess? What prince?

Can't you see they are four starving swindlers?

He is Don Felice Sciosciammocca, the scribe, and he is Don Pasquale, the photographer.

But Princess... What princess?

Didn't you understand a thing? You're a hard-head!

I am leaving now.

But tomorrow, bring me the 247 Lira, or I'll come hit you over the face with a rod.

Way to go, you four swindlers!

The prince, the marquis... the countess, the young countess...

To hell with all of you!

Get out of my way!

Despite what she says, I am a gentleman.

Marquis, what is this deceit? Yes, Don Gaetano, forgive me.

I schemed this strategy because I love your daughter.

Dad, forgive us. I am ready to marry her now.

I have my father's approval. You?

Why'd you say your name was Bebé? It's easy.

I came into this home incognito to get to know Gemma's personality, and see if she was worthy of my son.

Yes, Dad, I knew. Then what can I say?

Get married. And may Heaven bless you.

Dad, will you bless us too?

What?

Yes, Dad, bless them too. Why should I?

Because I care for them. My beauty...

Since you are blessing, please bless us too.

Bettina is already married. Yes, with me.

With you? Who is the father of the boy?

Peppeniello is my son. He is our son.

What a nerve!

I want to see if he remembers.

Here I am.

Yes, Excellency?

Who is your father?

Vincenzo is my father.

And who is he? Dad!

Yes, I'm your father and have had a lot of trouble, with real misery and false nobility.

Too bad! I had gotten used to the nobleman's life.

How distracted! Pasquale...

Excuse him.

I'll return to misery, but won't complain.

It's enough to know that the audience is happy.