Mistress America (2015) Script

TRACY: She would say things like, "Isn't every story a story of betrayal?"

"No, that's not true," I thought.

But I could never say that. I could only agree with her.

It was too much fun to agree with her.

(UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING)

(KEYS TURNING IN DOOR)

RUTH: I was sleeping. Turn that off!

Sorry.

I'm your roommate.

My name is Laura and I'm going on safari...

...and I'm bringing with me a car for Carrie...

...a rolling pin, Ruth...

...a jar for Juman... and a...

Uh... Shit!

A tracking device for Tracy.

LAURA: Right, a tracking device for Tracy...

...and a lighter for me, Laura.

TRACY: Aren't you coming to convocation?

You're going to that shit?

Yeah, isn't everyone?

I don't think anyone is going.

Except rapists.

What? Why rapists?

Or Christians and home-schooled kids.

Nobody really goes.

I think it's just a candle-lighting ceremony.

How do you already know all this stuff?

School hasn't even started yet.

PROFESSOR 1: This is a starting point.

This is what college is for.

We're here to teach you to write and think.

A "B"? That's so annoying.

I have trouble with procrastinating.

Did you ever think of... just getting your work in on time?

Yes, I have thought of that. I have trouble doing it.

Maybe you want to try a little harder.

Okay. Thanks.

Harder. I'll try that.

PROFESSOR 2: What comes to mind when you think of the Renaissance?

I think of the Renaissance as being very plush, like a lot of velvet...

...inlaid with jewels, brocades, that kind of thing.

PROFESSOR 2: Thank you.

I was actually asking about literature, but that was very nice. (LAUGHS)

(MUFFLED CHATTERING)

Hey, um, is the party at the end of the hall?

Did you get an invitation?

No.

Then, no.

She's being a bitch. Yes, it's right down the hall.

TRACY: I could be anywhere.

It doesn't even feel like New York.

And by trying to participate, I'm somehow not fitting in even less.

Aren't you meeting friends in classes?

Mom, nobody meets friends in classes.

Oh, okay. I didn't know.

You know the feeling of being at a party where you don't know anybody?

It's like that the whole time.

That sounds uncomfortable.

Did you get my email?

With the reading? Do you like it?

I liked it.

I think there's a darker element to what Shakespeare's saying, but I liked it.

It's Thanksgiving weekend, so we'll have a built-in rehearsal dinner...

...on Thursday at the house.

Right.

It'll be the first time the two families are all in the same room.

Oh, Stevie.

Oh, Trace.

You know I was very unhappy for a very long time.

But I'm glad your dad and I stayed together...

...till you and your brother were out of school.

I was not out of school. You broke up when I was a junior in high school.

On your way out of the home.

I love you, Mom. Don't be worried.

I know, honey.

So after you do that, Brooke will read a poem that she's written.

You should call Brooke. She's in New York, you know.

I'm so bad at calling people I don't know.

I hear she's fun.

She's, like, 30, and living in New York with a life.

She doesn't need to hear from an 18-year-old she's tenuously connected to.

She's going to be your sister, that doesn't sound tenuous to me.

And you have plenty to talk about, you're both doing readings at our wedding.

Aces! (SCOFFS)

You aren't sarcastic, don't pretend to be.

Okay.

Nothing's higher than the law. That's the whole point.

Antigone thinks she's above the law, but she's not.

Like, a celebrity in a car crash or something.

That's really interesting, Nicolette. It's great.

Why don't you continue with the reading?

NICOLETTE: "Because it was not Zeus who ordered it...

"...nor Justice, dweller with the Nether gods, "gave such a law to men."

Hey.

"Nor did I deem your ordinance Psst. "of so much binding force...

"...as that a mortal man could overbear

"the unchangeable unwritten code of heaven.

"This is not of today and yesterday."

That was really nice of you, waking me up.

Takes a lot of moxie to fall asleep in a 12-person class.

Thanks. I like moxie.

I get it.

It's like, I'm so grateful to be here, but why are my parents taking out loans...

...for me to listen to that 18-year-old asshole talk?

Loans everywhere.

I was gonna get frozen yogurt, wanna come?

Yes, but...

Well, I have to get somewhere by 5:00.

Where?

Uh... It's embarrassing.

(SCOFFS)

What is it?

I'm submitting a story to the Mobius Literary Society.

Get out of town, sister! I already gave mine.

Do you know how you find out if you're in it?

They said they post a list.

No, the only people who check the list are the people who didn't get in.

They come and wake us up at night in our rooms...

...and put pie in our face and then bring us down to the quad...

...and make us sing and stuff.

Yeah.

(LAUGHTER AND CHATTERING)

(PEOPLE WHISPERING)

(CLAMORING)

GIRL: Oh, my God!

(CLAMORING CONTINUES)

Am I in? Oh, my God, really?

(DOOR OPENS)

Fuck!

They're self-elected douchebags.

I know. But I wanted to be one of them.

I could die then.

TONY: Yeah, me too. Both, I want to be in, and I could also then die.

I heard they serve wine and cheese and they all carry briefcases.

TONY: I know.

When I had my tour here...

...the guide was one of them and that's why I wanted to come here.

I heard the pie stuff all night.

They got the guy next door.

He doesn't even look like a writer.

(SIGHS)

I'm so sorry.

Do you wanna trade stories?

Sure.

I'll refresh our screwdrivers.

I liked it.

Thanks. I liked yours, too.

So, you want notes?

Oh, are we... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Sure.

Okay.

I thought the middle part sounded really fake.

Okay.

It's just my impression.

I'll work on that.

Do you have any notes for me?

Um...

No.

Great.

I have a car.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Let's go to the beach.

I don't want to leave Manhattan.

Why are we in your car then?

(TRACY LAUGHING)

TRACY: We look like we're in a song.

I think the way Aristotle writes about ethics and morality...

...is much closer to how most people think about it.

Less like math, more like a story.

I think we should set up a recycling system for our trash...

...because a lot of what we are throwing out can be recycled. (THUDDING)

Ruth, I think that fan can go in the closet now.

It's 50 degrees out.

WOMAN: You seem happy today.

I love filing. It's satisfying.

TONY: Slow down, T!

Hey. Hey.

Hey.

(OVER SPEAKERS)

No more lonely nights You my guiding light VOICEMAIL: This is Stevie Fishko.

I can't come to the phone now. Please leave me a mess...

May I never miss the thrill Of being near you

(LINE RINGING)

VOICEMAIL: You've reached Brooke Cardinas.

Leave your name and number and I will get back to you at my earliest convenience.

I will do What I feel To be right

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

No more lonely nights Never be another No more lonely nights Hello?

Hi, this is Brooke Cardinas.

I just got a missed call from this number.

Hi.

Sorry. Um, this is Tracy Fishko.

My mom is marrying your dad.

You're reading the sonnet!

Right. We're doing Thanksgiving and then wedding together.

I go to college in the city and my mom said I should call you.

Have you eaten? Do you want to hang out?

Uh...

No, I haven't. Okay.

Well, do you know where Times Square is?

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

BROOKE: Tracy!

Welcome to the Great White Way!

TRACY: Times Square is so crazy!

Isn't it?

I don't know anyone who lives here.

Yours truly.

I got off the bus from Jersey, I thought this was the cool place to live.

It's motherfucking Times Square!

Why do you live in New York?

College. I go to Barnard. It's all women uptown.

Well, "historically" and kind of actually.

But there are boys in my classes and stuff.

From Columbia.

You gay? No.

The Columbia girls do their best to make us feel inferior, which it's like, "I already do."

That's stupid. Don't feel inferior.

You're right. That is stupid.

BROOKE: I never went to college.

I'm an autodidact. Do you know what that means?

Yes.

That word is one of the things I self-taught myself.

(BAND PLAYING)

They all love you, you're a good girl When you awake you'll find another man Lying beside you

(INDISTINCT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)

What's going on at college?

Everyone's really excited about the frozen yogurt machine in the student center.

I watched my mother die. What?

I was with my mother while she died.

I don't know any dead people.

That's cool about the frozen yogurt machine.

Everyone I love dies.

(LAUGHTER)

Brooke! (YELLS)

I heard you're opening a restaurant.

BROOKE: Yours truly.

W-T-F?

I know, it uses all my talents except singing.

I sang with the band tonight.

This is my baby sister Tracy.

BROOKE: This bitch stole my favorite pants.

They're in here somewhere.

She thinks I don't know, but I know everything.

They're red. I'll look here.

People are always taking my shit.

My ex-friend and nemesis, Mamie-Claire, stole my ideas and my fiancé.

TRACY: Shit.

She took this t-shirt idea that I had, started a company...

...and fucking sold it to J. Crew, so there's that.

She's one of those people that doesn't have any good ideas for her own life...

...so she just steals all of mine.

And then she literally stole my cats.

TRACY: What were the t-shirts?

Just really hard-looking flowers.

Oh, my God! I bought one of those t-shirts.

BROOKE: Yeah, flowers with, like, skulls and shit. Daggers.

That's a great one.

My fiancé, Dylan, was super sexy.

And so rich.

But I wasn't gonna marry him.

Wait, you broke up with Dylan? I thought she stole him.

And I never looked back. He cried so hard, like whiny.

(HIGH-PITCHED) "Where are you going?"

I was being real, but Mamie-Claire then goes and marries him.

They live in Greenwich, Connecticut in some big gross house. Do you know that place?

TRACY: Yeah, Greenwich, Grossville.

Right? Living off of his riches and my t-shirt idea.

TRACY: I hate them!

I actually pity them. They have no more dreams.

These?

I wanna marry you!

(CAMERA FLASHES) Ugh!

Must we document ourselves all the time? Must we?

Is he your boyfriend? The bassist?

Nate? No!

My beau, Stavros, is in Greece right now.

Betting against the country or something gross.

Don't tell anyone that.

I won't. I'm good at keeping secrets.

You'll learn that about me.

He's the kind of person I hate, except I'm in love with him.

I've been to a Greek Orthodox Easter and I could totally see myself...

...getting married in that kind of church. (CHUCKLES)

You got a honey?

No.

There's this one guy, we got rejected together, but he's got a girlfriend.

They all have girlfriends.

Actually, I think he met me and then he got a girlfriend.

This summer, at my job, this one guy just sucked on my boobs all night.

My restaurant should do a pierogi.

Fusion pierogi. You like yours?

Mmm, this is my second dinner.

Just a quick tweet on Twitter.

I'm very into social media. You have to market yourself.

If you don't know what you're selling, no one will know how to buy it.

What are you selling?

So many things. I don't tweet all of it.

Like, here are two ideas that are not on the Internet.

If I did a cabaret...

...it would be called "High Standards" and I would sing all the standards.

Would you sing them in a higher pitch?

No, it wouldn't be about...

It's about principles, those kind of high standards...

...like one of those "String of Pearls

"and that's why I'm a single gal" kind of show.

Oh, that's clever.

The second idea is a television show, which I've read is the new novel...

...about a woman who's a government worker by day...

...and a self-invented superhero by night...

...but it's like the essence of America.

It'll be its own mythology.

I think maybe it'll be called Mistress America.

That sounds like she's America's girl on the side.

I don't know, okay?

I'm not positive, these are just some ideas.

TRACY: Oh, me, too.

I'm sorry, I don't know anything, I was just throwing something out there.

(BOTH LAUGH)

We need a sleepover party.

BROOKE: This apartment is technically zoned commercial, but that's fake.

TRACY: It's so stylish.

Fuck, I know, I freelance as an interior decorator.

You know the Bowery Hotel?

TRACY: Oh, my God, yeah.

Well, if you walk about a block south...

...there's a laser hair removal center that's very hip.

I did the waiting room.

TRACY: That's cool! I know!

I'm leaving here in January.

Moving to the East Side, if you can believe it.

That's where Stavros lives. I'm gonna redo his place too.

TRACY: I want to write short stories.

Oh, me too! Not short stories, though.

TRACY: But I got rejected by the Lit Society.

I'm so suggestible, like I think because I got rejected I can't be a writer.

Why don't you make your own Lit Society?

I wish. Mobius is a big deal at school.

BROOKE: You've got other stories.

Just make another one up.

Maybe I'll write something else and resubmit.

(WATER RUNNING)

That was really fun when we were dancing.

BROOKE: Yeah. I need to cut all the negative people out of my life.

I just wasn't brought up that way.

Thank you, Brooke.

You're welcome, Baby Tracy.

BROOKE: My sweetheart, I miss you so much!

I can't wait for you to see the chairs I picked out!

We start renovation so soon! It's so exciting.

I've been going there just to sit in the mess. I love it so much.

Right?

Did you see the lease? It's like 400 pages.

I wish you could just come home already...

...so I could suck your dick in our new restaurant.

Can you start the coffee, please?

Oh, I don't know how.

Yes, you do. Don't be incompetent.

If you spent two seconds with a coffee maker, you'd figure it out.

Hi. No, I'm here.

Where are you going?

Duh! Communal bathroom. Do you wanna watch?

It's some girl.

Sorry, are you mad at me? No!

(SLAMS DOOR)

We have four investors, including me.

I'm what you call a principal investor.

Stavros is putting in my share...

...but I insisted that it be my assets on the line...

...because I want him to know I have skin in the game.

I'll pay him back, of course, once we start making a profit.

We never went to restaurants growing up.

It wasn't part of our lives.

That's a shitty thing to say to me.

I didn't mean... I know people will come to yours.

It's so weird to think that every restaurant I see is the result...

...of a person going, "I think I want to start a restaurant."

No, that's not weird. That's everything.

What are you... What are you doing?

Actually... I'm writing down what I said...

You're noting yourself?

Yeah, I guess so.

I've noticed something about myself that would make a good character in a story.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

But I'm gonna save it in case I want to use it in something that I write.

High five, sister. That was an amazing night.

Yeah, it was. Best of my life.

I gotta go.

TRACY: What did she say?

"He's one of those people that I hate...

"...except that I'm in love with him."

RUTH: Shut up, please.

TRACY: Meadow DeRiggi lived exactly how a young woman should live...

...who wants to spend her youth well.

She did everything and nothing...

...and spent time like I always mean to: purposefully.

She sang with the band and knew everyone and didn't owe anyone anything.

And couldn't pay up, even if she did.

Her beauty was that rare kind...

...that made you want to look more like yourself and not like her.

Being around Meadow was like being in New York City.

It made you want to find life, not hide from it.

Brooke!

Oh...

It's okay.

Where were you last night? Did you get my text?

You text her? You texted her?

About work.

I went to check out this downtown band at this downtown bar.

Who were you with? Myself.

When you said you were checking out the scores, were you texting her? Are you sexting?

TRACY: It was this place my sister showed me.

TONY: You don't have a sister.

I do. Or I will, when my mom gets married at Thanksgiving.

Why don't you just text her a picture of your balls?

Nicolette!

What's that?

It's this new story I wrote.

I'm gonna resubmit to the Lit Society.

TONY: Wait, you wrote another one already?

You printed it on onionskin? You can read it if you want.

I have an extra copy.

Okay. I'd... totally give you notes.

No, I don't want notes.

But I thought about it and I actually do have notes for you.

Uh, sure.

You write like you're imitating someone who is free and wild...

...and it is so weird, because you aren't at all...

...and it made me uncomfortable.

And I think it would make everyone uncomfortable.

And, also, stop trying to be funny, because you're not funny.

And...

...it just adds to the awkwardness.

Oh, and it could also be, like, 30% shorter, easy.

Okay.

Thanks.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, Baby Tracy!

This is all about you, right now.

And you're giving it as much as you've got, so reach inside you...

...and whatever it is inside of you, you put it on the bike.

You feel me?

How you do anything is how you do everything, so leave it on the floor.

You did great.

TRACY: I feel like I just went swimming in my clothes.

I'm glad you came. You are?

Shit, I've gotta change, I've got a meeting.

Thanks, Brooke!

You're welcome, honey!


God, I am packed into this pencil skirt.

How do I look?

You look beautiful.

But do I look professional?

I get really nervous with the investors.

I'm usually fine with wealthy people, it's just when I need something from them.

No, it's the opposite.

They need you and your restaurant.

Stavros usually does this stuff.

Maybe I shouldn't do it. I'm not good at it.

I think you can do anything. Everything.

Right.

Kind and fearless.

(INAUDIBLE)

It's amazing how much of business is just stating the same thing over and over again.

Your body language looked very self-confident.

Thanks. You make me feel really smart.

Do you wanna see it?

Yeah!

The front part would be like a shop during the day...

...like a general store or a really nice bodega, candy from Europe.

On Monday, we start demo, and we open in April.

We'd also have cooking classes.

Maybe cut hair.

It would be like a community center...

...and restaurant and a store all in one.

It would be the place that you, like, loved to be.

I wish I had something like that growing up.

Yeah, suburban New Jersey isn't great with this kind of stuff.

Each plate would be different. Here, let me show you.

Can I be a waitress here?

See? Look at all these plates.

Holy shit, you have a lot of plates.

I started collecting them so long ago, I didn't know why and now I have a why.

This is going to be a great restaurant.

I know!

Are you going to cook, too?

I'll help create the menu and I'll pitch in when needed.

I'm not trained, but I'm an enthusiastic home cook.

I always used to cook with my mom.

That's the name of the restaurant, Mom's.

Possessive.

"Let's go to Mom's for dinner."

Yeah, it totally works.

Can I be a waitress here?

I want the whole deal.

I want the dead-on-my-feet- wake-up-and-I'm-40.

I've spent my whole life chasing after things and knocking at doors...

...and I'm tired of running towards people.

I want to be the place that people come to.

I want to make a home for all the knockers and runners.

I'm good at that. I'm happy with that.

I keep the hearth.

That's a word, right? Hearth?

I tutor junior high because I didn't get high enough SAT scores to do SAT tutoring...

...but you make way more money doing SAT's.

So, I'm gonna take the SAT's again so I can make inroads into that racket.

I've always been a really good test taker.

None of this will be necessary when I'm a restaurateur.

But I'm good that way, curating my employment.

So, um, should I wait here, or...

Oh, I thought you had to go back to school.

Right. I should.

Do you want to stay?

I mean, if you don't mind.

I'd invite you in, but Peggy's mom just got institutionalized...

...for bipolar disorder, so shit's pretty real upstairs.

Tutoring is like 60% middle school math...

...40% I know too much about them.

That's okay, then. I'll just go home.

You remember where my apartment is, go there. Bring my shit.

Seriously?

Pick up some pasta, I'll cook.

What kind of... (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

Mom? Hey, are you there?

Shit.

I just wanted to know what kind of pasta you'd buy...

...if you wanted to buy a nice pasta.

Like, the brand?

If you get this, can you call me back right away?

This one is like bowties. Get that?

Do they have regular spaghetti?

Is that pasta the same way as the others?

Is this some sex game?

No, we're actually talking about pasta.

Hello! Yes.

Why don't you just put pasta up her pussy?

Nicolette, seriously!

I remember once enjoying a rigatoni dish.

So, I'll get that and I'll get the bowties.

And there's shells.


TRACY: I remember looking across the river...

...at the unblinking lights of Manhattan buildings.

Wondering who lived there.

X can be anything, any number, that's what's crazy about X.

TRACY: I just wanted to enter those spaces and crawl up on the floor and go to sleep.

X doesn't roll like that, X can't be pinned down!

TRACY: I was part of it now.

On the fifth floor, in a temporary commercial apartment.

There was our castle, our fortress.

But outside the windows, I could hear the hot sound of jackhammers...

...taking the city apart.

(INAUDIBLE)

In New York, neighborhoods change as quickly as the weather.

Or maybe it's the other way around.

But I couldn't warn Meadow.

By the time I noticed it, it was already too late.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

Nate dropped a gram on Instagram.

That means a picture.

It looks like a really stylish breath mint ad.

I know! Dave's a real shutterbug.

He made his own app.

Did these two drinks earn me another free hot dog?

I would love to get into the app business.

I think my dad met your mom on the Internet.

Yeah, on a free dating website.

They didn't even pay.

Gross. But also I guess it's pro forma now?

My dad's so strange.

I'm sure he's making her convert to Catholicism.

Yeah, what's that about?

He's real Catholic now.

It's so boring, but it happened when my mom got sick.

She was never that into it. He's a geologist.

I know. I'd never met a geologist before.

It's weird that someone who studies rocks can be really into Jesus.

What did your mom do?

She was a special education teacher.

That's so nice.

She was really good at it.

I still don't like retarded jokes.

Do you want to see a picture of her?

She doesn't look like you, but she has your expression, you know?

Hi.

Hello.

Hi. I don't know if you remember me, we went to high school together.

Anna Wheeler?

Oh, yeah!

I was in the chorus of Anything Goes?

Holy shit, yeah!

What are you doing in the city?

Do you live here?

No, I'm in Tenafly.

My fiancé and I just went to see a show.

Which one? Other Desert Cities.

Oh, that's a piece of shit.

And the girl who replaced the lead is awful.

I used to run around with her. Well, she was older, is older.

We loved it.

What are you guys drinking? Let me buy you a drink.

You know, that's okay.

I just wanted to tell you because...

...I never had the courage to do it when I was actually in high school:

You really hurt my feelings.

(CHUCKLES) What?

You don't remember?

What did I do?

That thing? "Yep, bitter."

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about!

I always liked you.

You and your friend Abe? Abe!

ANNE: You guys used to do this thing where you would walk up to me... touch my skin and then like taste it and think for a minute, and then say:

"Yep, bitter." And then laugh.

Right! We did do that, didn't we?

We were weird.

I was standing right there, every single time you did it.

It was really mean.

And I just wanted to say fuck you.

Whoa! Whoa.

The way you treated me really messed me up for a long time.

Everyone is an asshole in high school!

You made a lot of people feel bad, not just me.

I feel sorry for the 13-year-old girl that was you...

...but I don't feel sorry for you now.

We were 17.

If I was 13, I'd apologize to you, but seeing as both of us are...

...in our 20s, I don't feel the need.

I just turned 30. Happy Birthday.

Thank you. You're welcome.

You're a bitch. Why?

You're the one that hung onto this grudge for so fucking long!

I didn't even recognize you when you walked up.

I don't say that to be mean, that's the way it should be.

You're the same. Malevolent.

You were bitter.

That's probably why it hurt so much.

Because it was true.

I wish all bad things on you.

I don't on you because I don't care.

And neither should you!

That was so dramatic! What a drama queen.

I can't believe she lives in fucking Tenafly.

What is she, rich now?

How dare she talk to me that way and be rich?

In junior high, this girl Tara Podwoski used to pull my hair and call me a cunt hunter.

I didn't do what that girl said.

I just wasn't brought up that way.

I should call Abe and see if he remembers.

Maybe do it later? Yeah.

I was so popular in high school, but I didn't even try.

People just wanted to be friends with me.

I didn't care about that stuff.

When someone told me I was popular, I was like, "Really? Weird."

That's why you were popular.

Popular kids never care. I cared too much.

Like if you want to know all the popular kids' business, ask an unpopular kid.

They're the ones who know everything, 'cause they're the ones who really pay attention.

I'm gonna shorten that, punch it up, and turn it into a tweet. (VOMITS)

Oh, no! Did I feed you too much liquor?

It's okay. I'll be okay.

Let's get you a cab.

Would it be okay if I slept over again?

I'm pretty sure college is supposed to be more fun than I'm having.

Damn it.

I'm kind of attractive. Ugh.

I might be up for another drink. Is that crazy?

Goddamn it! What?

Fuck me!

What's happening?

I fucking don't believe this shit!

Motherfucking shit!

(SCREAMS)

The goddamn locks are changed!

Hey, Kareem, can we use your fire escape?

Yep.

Shit! I thought I left this window open!

I might have closed it.

Why?

I didn't want you to get robbed.

I can't believe you fucking changed my locks!

Stavros saw a picture of her kissing a musician.

Stavros is her boyfriend.

He told the super that Brooke was living in a commercial space.

Is your place zoned commercial?

Yeah.

I hope he doesn't rat on you.

(DOOR OPENS)

He's pulling out of the restaurant.

I hope Stavros doesn't rat out Kareem.

My partners are gonna bail.

They were only in because Stavros was in.

They can go after my savings, everything.

Oh, God.

Rich people will take any excuse not to spend money.

You can just see it in their eyes.

They don't really want to share life with you.

Rich people always give out bad Halloween candy.

The contractors need another $20,000 by Monday.

And the key fee payment, that's $50,000... Oh, shit!

The refrigeration, that's another $5,000!

I need whatever that equals by Monday.

That's $75,000.

Oh, my fucking God!

Isn't there someone else you can ask to invest?

I already hit up every rich person I knew the first time around.

This was well-thought through, Tracy.

I don't know, it's such a good investment.

I'd put money in if I had it.

Do you secretly have money?

No, my mom never worked and my dad was always kind of mad at her for that.

But my parents' divorce was way easier than this.

That's because they stopped caring about life just entirely.

That's not the same thing.

My mom died, so don't even start with me about your pain.

My uncle died.

BROOKE: Shut up, Ruth.

I need some answers. I'm coming.

I'm gonna be worse off now than I was before I started trying to achieve stuff.

TRACY: I know what it is to want things.

No, you don't.

You can't really know what it is to want things until you're at least 30.

And then, with each passing year, it gets bigger...

...because the want is more and the possibility is less.

Like how each passing year of your life seems faster...

...because it's a smaller portion of your total life.

Like that. But in reverse.

Everything becomes pure want.

PSYCHIC: Okay, Brooke, I'm ready.

Spirit says you have to seek out an old friend.

Who?

Somebody who hurt you.

Just tell me exactly what to do.

Spirit says something about...

...fabric?

It's your friend Mamie-Claire. The fabric is the t-shirts.

Yes. And I see flowers.

Hard-looking flowers.

Please, Tracy!

Mamie-Claire is my enemy.

You have unfinished business with this woman.

No, no, no, no. It's finished. Tell Spirit it's finished.

What happened with Mamie-Claire?

She totally screwed Brooke over.

She married her fiancé and stole her idea.

I never looked back.

Yeah, I'm seeing this. But...

Oh, I'm seeing trees.

You said she lives in Connecticut.

There are trees in Connecticut.

Well, to be fair, there are trees pretty much everywhere.

TRACY: You have to listen to Spirit.

Mamie-Claire can give you the money.

Hi-ho Greenwich!

Really? Can we get some confirmation?

Is Spirit sure of this?

Yeah. Look, the young one is right.

She's not that young!

Ten, ten to twelve years younger.

We're contemporaries, okay?

You must seek out this Mamie-Claire.

(SIGHS) I'm so annoyed by Spirit.

The path isn't against you. It's just the path.

Right. I don't wanna be petty.

I just wasn't brought up that way.

She's my nemesis, but she does owe me.

This has been heavy on you.

And sometimes you have to go back... in order to go front.

Fuck this parade. I'm going to Greenwich.

We're going.

You ready for this, squirt? It's gonna get ugly.

I'm ready. Great.

How do we get there?

I really don't like to leave the city.

You're gonna want to take the Hutch to the Merritt.

I'll bet Dylan is still in love with me.

Marrying Mamie-Claire is like buying a cashmere sweater from Old Navy.

Even if he's not, this is a great investment.

And don't forget, she still owes you.

Yeah, it's win-win.

Because I'm sure he still loves me.

I'm not driving you to Connecticut to break up a marriage.

I should be in my room reading Nicomachean Ethics.

Oh, calm down, rich boy. I'm not rich!

Yes, you are. You have a car.

No, I'm not. My dad is a mechanic.

He and my uncle have a body shop.

I have this car because it was something he could give me.

Sorry. I think I offended your boyfriend.

He's not her boyfriend. He's mine.

Why are you here?

Because Tracy made Tony drive you.

But why did you come?

I had a bad experience with adultery before.

My last boyfriend committed adultery when we were together... and I just don't like to let my boyfriends get too far.

Adultery? Why the fuck does it matter?

You're all 18.

Where is this old person morality coming from?

There's no cheating when you're 18.

You should all be touching each other all the time.

Do you ever get that feeling when you're on a car trip...

...that you never want to get where you're going?

That you never want it to end?

Nicolette!

You fuckin' scared the shit out of me!

Sweetie, I... It feels nice.

I mean, I'm driving, I can't... I can't right now.

You should be with him, not that goth housewife.

No. He knew me and he chose her.

Only because you let him.

You have to chase down the things that you want.

I was just gonna let it go.

Sometimes I don't know if you're a Zen master or a sociopath.

I'm just normal.

Can you stay on the neck?

Like that?

I'll give him a backrub he won't soon forget.

See, you don't give a shit, do you?

I'm so glad you're on my team.

TRACY: The very things that had worked so well for Meadow, up until then...

...had started turning and fading.

She had no other skills, no other way of dealing with the world.

In one instant her behaviors turned from charming to borderline hysteric.

People could feel her failure coming.

She smelled of something rotten.

Her youth had died and she was dragging around the decaying carcass.

I had somehow become the pallbearer.

I'm trying to find Mamie-Claire's address.

Does she have a different last name?

I have a visual memory of it. It's kind of photographic.

Oh, you've been here?

Well, I kind of stalked them once.

I was so pissed.

Yep. This is it.

Oh, we're all going?

Okay, we look crazy, but maybe that's good.

Can I help you?

Hi, yes, I was wondering, is Mamie-Claire or Dylan in?

I'm an old friend. Wrong house.

BROOKE: Oh. Which is their house?

I don't come here, I live in New York.

I'll take you there.

You guys just wait there.

Harold?

What do you think I was doing last night?

I don't know, Harold. Watching kiddie porn?

I was listening to you and your husband shout, and I was not sleeping.

So sorry we interrupted your kiddie porn.

I'm a pediatrician.

Obviously.

Next time I hear decibel levels like that, I'm calling the cops.

That is a promise.

This is the house.

Hello!

What are you doing here? Who are these people?

Tracy's mom is marrying my dad, Tony drove, Nicolette is jealous.

Hi, I'm Tracy. Hi, Mamie-Claire.

Nicolette. Mamie-Claire.

TONY: I'm Tony.

Wait, don't tell me, Mamie-Claire.

I thought we weren't speaking.

Right, I want to change that.

And I have something that I really need to talk to you and Dylan about.

Dylan's not here. Where is he?

He volunteers at a retirement community.

I'm in the middle of something that's this thing we do. It's like a party.

That's okay.

It's not for you to say okay...

...it's for me to say okay.

We'll wait in the car.

No, that's weird.

People wait in cars.

You and your posse can hang out in the kitchen.

Great!

WOMAN: Faulkner uses language the way the Modernist painters were using paint.

Exploring the reality of words, or paint itself.

Only Faulkner was interested in how this happens...

...while his characters are actually trying to communicate.

Holy shit, these pregnant women are super smart.

I don't know if you're hungry, but this is for if you're hungry.

TRACY: This place is amazing.

MAMIE-CLAIRE: Thank you.

It's really fucking nice.

Thank you.

TONY: Would it be okay if we sat in on your discussion?

Uh, yeah, I guess.

This week's book is Faulkner's The Hamlet.

Followed by a kind of junky biography of Derrida, but it's fun.

Tight. NICOLETTE: Awesome.

BROOKE: Look at this.

Apparently, she got recruited by Tufts for crew...

...and then went but never did it.

I mean, that's the kind of person she is, just sly and shitty.

I would do that if I could. I wasn't good at sports.

Yeah, I would too, but it wouldn't be like my character.

It would just be something I did.

When does that become the same thing?

I don't know.

BROOKE: You look amazing.

Why are all these kids with you?

They aren't kids. If they're kids, we are.

I'm an associate and her almost-sister.

I really need to talk to you.

Okay, how long do you think you'll need with me, because...

How long do you think Dylan will be giving back at the old folks' home?

I'd also like to talk with him.

We're both very busy.

I have an appointment after this.

Oh, come on, Mamie-Claire, that's stupid.

You aren't really busy. Yes, I am!

Remember this truth, it is only people who don't have jobs...

...and don't have anything to do, that are always fucking busy.

Like, what are you doing?

We started a community farm. We have goats.

Goats are more sustainable. They're smaller.

Than what? Cows.

Mamie-Claire? People are leaving.

Excuse me, I have to see my guests out.

I want to say goodbye to Marcy.

NICOLETTE: Do you have a crush on Marcy now?

She's seven months pregnant.

Why do you know that?

TONY: Bye, Marcy.

MARCY: Bye, Tony.

See you guys.

Mamie-Claire, can me and Nicolette play with your chess set? MAMIE-CLAIRE: Yes.

NADIA: Bye, Tony.

TONY: Bye, Nadia.

Everything okay, Karen?

Yes, I'm just waiting for my husband.

He's late to pick me up.

TONY: You want to play chess with us?

You have to teach me!

No, he'll be here any minute.

Sorry, I got started on the wrong foot there.

I meant to say I've been missing you as a friend and...

TRACY: She has a very exciting business opportunity for you.

And I wanted to bring it to you and Dylan as a peace offering.

I really think you're gonna want to hear about this.

The last time I saw you, you were hiding in the bushes.

And then you started incoherently yelling at me and my husband...

...about how we had ruined your life.

And the time before that, you were throwing up at my wedding.

Which is why I'm bringing you this exciting business opportunity!

TONY: When did you take my bishop?

I would like to offer you a share in a restaurant I'm starting.

Why?

Because it's all set up and ready to go.

And I already have an ability to draw a crowd, and it's just gonna be perfect!

You'll love it. So will Dylan.

There are lots of other investors.

But not so many that it would dilute your investment.

So why are you here?

Well, there was a slight snafu with one of our people...

...which allowed a very coveted spot to open up, which I'm offering only to you guys.

It's not really a good time for me to get involved with business.

Why? I'm trying to have a baby.

You'll never regret it.

Thank you, Karen.

It's just money.

You don't have to do any of the work.

You get the glory, and the profit...

...and the satisfaction of being involved with something awesome.

MAMIE-CLAIRE: I don't think Dylan will buy into it.

We recently lost money purchasing taxi cab medallions.

I don't mean to overstep my bounds here, but I think that you might be wrong.

When is he coming back?

I really need to focus on having children.

This is not part of what I need to focus on.

No. Just... Can I just say no?

No, you cannot "just say no." Why not?

I don't need a why.

This money would mean nothing to you.

Look at all this shit, this house, that patio furniture.

You could spare it, you wouldn't even miss it.

And it really would make a profit.

No. You can't make me.

Yes, I can because you owe me!

Um, Brooke...

I don't owe you.

For Dylan, because that was just skanky.

But really for the t-shirts.

You stole my t-shirt idea and you know it.

I did not steal your idea.

It was my idea and you were there when I had it.

BROOKE: No!

That is so wrong.

I remember it like the minute I said, "What if these flowers were, like, tough?"

And then we started riffing about it.

But I said it first!

No, you didn't.

You are so annoying when you get calm voice!

Are those my fucking cats?

They're mine. I paid for their cat surgery, so they're mine.

Did my cats die and you didn't tell me?

Are those replacement cats?

No! They're the same goddamn cats!

If you do that, your knight is vulnerable.

TONY: What?

Oh, thanks.

You took your finger off it, you made the move.

I took my finger off it?

Who am I playing here, Deep Blue?

Karen, come inside. Have a glass of wine.

KAREN: Oh, no, I'm fine.

He'll be here.

So you deny it? That you profited from her idea that you stole?

No, I don't deny it. She's right.

The t-shirts were her idea.

Then why did you just say that?

I like making her mad. It's so easy.

You took her idea. That's not just, Mamie-Claire.

No, I tried to include her.

I set up a meeting with some people and she never showed up.

And then she stopped speaking to me when me and Dylan got married...

...so I figured I could just go do it.

So it's her fault?

No. She is right that I stole a lot of her life ideas.

She really is more creative than I am.

But she never would have used them.

She has no follow through.

So it's no one's fault.

Obviously. That's always true.

You know, the restaurant is going to be really great.

She's following through with that.

If she's allowed to.

Check. Wait.

What? No, it isn't.

Check.

I don't want to play anymore.

Oh, come on.

I just don't feel like playing right now.

You can't just quit right before I'm about to win.

I'm just not in the mood. People can be not in the mood.

I couldn't be your mother, thank God.

What are you, 30? We're 18.

You could. Twelve year olds can have kids.

Fuck you! KAREN: Mamie-Claire.

Sorry, Karen.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Hey, Dad. I can't really talk right now.

Brooke... I'll call you tomorrow, I'm in the middle of something.

Yeah, I know you probably don't care...

I care about things.

But I'm not getting married.

Oh, really?

No. We called it off last night.

It's for the best. I don't really know her.

Yeah.

She wasn't committed to the church, either.

I think that was all forced.

Sure, sure.

You okay?

Yes, I just...

You're really not doing it?

I thought you guys were really symbiotic.

Wasn't it a web algorithm that got you together?

She seems amazing.

You never even met Stevie.

Through you, I met her!

Come on, Dad, I don't know. Don't just bail.

That's what the Cardinases always do, move on to something else.

Hang in there!

Frankly, I'm surprised you're so invested in this.

Believe me, it's for the best.

(SNIFFLES)

I have to go, I have a really important business meeting.

I love you.

We can do Thanksgiving at my house if you want, since there won't be a wedding.

No, I'll probably just end up doing something depressing, but young.

Home is only a bus ride away.

Is it? Just kidding, it is.

So, what does this make me and Tracy?

Who's Tracy?

Never mind.

Oh, right, her daughter.

Nothing, I guess.

Hello.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sneak.

Are you stalking me?

I left my tote in here.

I need my migraine pills.

Let me have a sip.

How much longer do you think we'll be here?

I don't know, however long it takes.

After Dylan comes home, maybe.

TONY: What are you really trying to accomplish here?

I'm enjoying this really stylish house.

When you live in suburbia, you have to really like being in your house.

That's not what I...

What're you doing with this whole thing?

I want Brooke to get her restaurant.

I'm helping out.

I read your story, by the way.

Brooke is the woman in your piece.

You're collecting material.

Did you like it?

That's not what we're talking about.

Why are you here?

You needed a ride. You forced me.

How does it feel to be forced?

TONY: Feels uncomfortable.

And how do you feel now?

Still uncomfortable.

This is not what I want. It is what you want...

...but it makes you feel like a bad person to want it.

You're acting really crazy. I don't like this.

Why can't you say you like my story?

I don't know! I'm jealous!

It's better than mine. Sheesh!

You want other people to do the things you can't so you can blame them.

You used to be so nice!

I'm the same. I'm just the same in another direction now.

Can I have my glasses back?

TRACY: Tony, you're more sophisticated than this!

Dylan, baby, you're home!

You know, I don't like it when you try to force affection onto me.

I'm just trying to hug you.

Do you have to put your face so close to mine?

It's nice.

You know how upset I get when I visit the home.

I want you to share it with me.

Rosella and Lorene may not even be alive the next time I'm there. Okay?

Just keep your face a little away while I process that.

Fine.

Who are all these people?

I wondered if I could have some water.

MAMIE-CLAIRE: Of course, Karen.

DYLAN: Oh, hi, Karen. I don't mean you.

Tony. Nice to meet you. Beautiful house, sir.

Thank you.

Have you seen a girl about this high?

That's my girlfriend.

No, there's more of you?

I'm Tracy.

Oh, Dylan. Tracy is a tight name.

It's a name that totally is a name, but I don't know anyone actually named Tracy.

I am actually named Tracy.

(KNOCKING)

BROOKE: Tracy!

Brooke! (BROOKE CHUCKLES)

Hey, Dylan.

Has anyone seen Nicolette?

Forget about Nicolette for a second.

Stop trying to seduce me.

Thanks. I got a little parched.

I think I'm sitting by a heating duct.

Stay here. Have a glass of wine.

No. Ted really should be here soon.

Karen! Can I have a snack?

(MUMBLES) Stress makes me hungry.

Brooke, I haven't seen you in a second.

I know, right?

What brings you to the burbs?

We were...

MAMIE-CLAIRE: Brooke needs money.

No, I don't need money. I come to you with an opportunity.

I told her about the taxi medallions.

Let me make you a drink. What's the opportunity?

It's a good one.

We're having dinner at the Baskins.

So I'm sorry to say it, but you guys will have to leave now.

Can I have this Chipwich? Yes.

Marty and Jiselle can wait.

Didn't you park over at Harold's?

How do you know Harold?

They don't.

She's an old friend.

She can stay over if she wants.

We have the room for you and your students.

MAMIE-CLAIRE: They're not her students.

It's much weirder than that.

They're my friends.

Always running with the young crowd.

She's starting a restaurant.

I can't wait to tell you about it.

Dylan, let's not do this.

She's already lost her shit once.

What's the restaurant?

Brooke, this is uncomfortable.

Dylan doesn't want to do this.

DYLAN: You don't know what I want.

I know you see me a certain way, but I'm not just some square.

I saw Nirvana live and this is way before Nevermind.

You seem really cool to me.

I DJ'ed at my college radio station, the 2:00 am slot.

We played Mudhoney, Superchunk, Trip Shakespeare, I mean...

No one wants to hear about your glory days in college radio, Dylan. Okay?

(BOTH) I do.

I play this part for you.

I play the guy wearing the fleece...

...but I'm not just some asshole bankrolling your fitness goals.

I've gotten really into triathlons.

Brooke teaches cycling.

So cool.

No, I only like cycling when it's combined with running and swimming.

Why did you think of us?

Because we owe her.

Because you're into cool things.

We are. You guys want to smoke some weed? Huh?

I have some frozen weed.

MC, where's that weed Jason gave us?

MAMIE-CLAIRE: You've just said "weed" like 15 times.

DYLAN: (YELLING) Did that kid take my weed?

No! No one's touched it.

It should be next to the Chipwiches.

Are you sick?

NICOLETTE: No, I'm healthy.

Don't shut me out. You know how hard that is for me.

You sound like you're eating something.

I have a Chipwich for you.

You brought me a Chipwich?

I can get you another one.

Leave me alone!

TRACY: It was clear that the thing that Meadow wanted most in the world...

...the thing that she wanted to define her...

...to give her a place to put her time and talents, her everything...

...the restaurant, it was clear that it would never happen.

The most surprising thing was that Meadow was actually surprised by it.

She could see the whole world with painful accuracy...

...but couldn't see herself or her fate.

And because I was in love with her...

...I decided I couldn't see it either.

I'm starting a restaurant.

Oh, I'm an attorney.

That's awesome for you. I never went to college.

That doesn't have to be a permanent state.

You aren't an amputee.

I know that.

You can still go to college.

We'll get lifted and you'll tell us about this venture.

Do any of you kids know how to make an apple bong?

No one knows how to make an apple bong.

I do. Did you take my herb?

No. I'll get you an apple.

The restaurant is really going to be amazing.

Right. Let's hear your pitch. Pitch us.

BROOKE: What? That's what you do.

If someone wants something, they pitch.

Come, pitch us on our media stage.

Your media stage?

We just ran Apocalypto on Blu-ray.

Stunning. Stunning.

I've gotten very into vinyl.

I'm into compressed MP3s. Just joking.

I've got a great early Mother Love Bone EP that would be perfect for this occasion.

Records are so warm.

What are you doing?

I just want you to know that I really love Dylan.

I love his blond hair and his beard.

I know that you only loved him for his money.

But I love him as a person.

And I also love him for his money, but not in that order.

I'm committed to being a happier person.

Do you understand?

(SIGHS)

Um, well...

It's a restaurant, but also where you, like, cut hair.

Can I start over?

Of course. We're old friends.

Okay, great.

(REWINDING NOISE)

I was, that was...

...pretend rewind. Like...

(REWINDING NOISE)

(DYLAN CHUCKLES)

It would have...

...big heavy tables and chairs.

Um...

It would feel like the home everyone wishes they had been raised in.

(SIGHS)

TRACY: No one who comes there will want to take out their cellphones...

...because it won't feel that way.

It would be like taking your cellphone out in the woods. Totally wrong.

It's so rude, I concur.

Yeah. It will always feel like fall inside.

Even on hot summer nights with all the windows open.

Loaves of bread that people tear off pieces.

It would be the kind of place where at 2:00 am, the chef and the waitstaff...

...would come out and eat something simple they had fixed themselves...

...with the remaining guests.

And open a bottle of good wine.

It would be the best of capitalism.

What politicians pretend they mean when they say small business.

We would resist doing too many pieces in the Times and stuff...

...because we would want it to stay honest.

They would want us to expand and open another one...

...and maybe eventually we would.

But we wouldn't try to re-create the first one.

It would be a totally new thing.

And if I ever had kids...

...they would walk there after school and do their homework in a corner table.

They would grow up around all these wonderful adults.

Chefs and actors who are waiters.

It'd be a big funny family and they'd never be lonely.

This could all be something you guys share in.

You'd be their auntie and uncle, part of the life and food.

Eventually I'd train someone younger than myself to run the day to day...

...so I could go up to Maine with my family in the summer.

And have the kids dive for lobsters.

And everyone would be so warm and happy inside knowing that in their lives...

...they had participated in something that was only good.

Wow.

Yeah.


You know...

...I lived in the city for many years.

Before I started at Goldman, I was...

I was teaching at Baruch and I lived in an East Village walk-up.

I was the people, people make television shows about.

It was quite beautiful.

This is very fucking interesting!

BROOKE: Really?

So, are you both doing it?

No, but we're sisters and...

Tracy is spiritual guidance and waitress. DYLAN: Mmm.

Really? I wasn't sure you'd heard me those times.

I hear everything.

And how much do you need?

It's $200,000, but I calculated and we need $42,500 by Monday.

For refrigeration.

42.5 stacks, huh?

What are stacks? A thousand.

I thought stacks meant a hundred.

I'm pretty sure a stack is a thousand.

I thought a dime was a thousand.

Never mind. You'd do that?

I want to help you.

(KNOCKING) That's Ted. Bye, everyone.

(ALL) Bye, Karen!

Good luck with your restaurant.

BOTH: Thank you!

Dylan, this is really something for us to talk about privately.

Or maybe with Dr. Turkowitz.

We need fresh drinks.

Um, Mamie-Claire, can you come here please?

Can it wait, Karen?

No.

KAREN: It's not Ted.

Harold.

Your guests' car is blocking my driveway.

DYLAN: Could the weed be in the garage freezer?

I don't know.

DYLAN: Can you check? No!

I'm blowing Harold. Just kidding.

I can't remember the last time I was over here.

I don't think you've ever been over here, Harold.

No, when you first moved here, I came for a stilted barbecue.

That was when we made an effort.

Well, invite me in now. I want a house tour.

You are such a Swiss Army knife kind of guy.

I have to be a better loser. I really love Nicolette.

She's angry about the chess game?

TONY: Yeah, I think so.

I'm mostly in touch with my feminine side, but...

...then I guess not, though, because...

...I don't understand her right now.

Did you... Did you want to be with me ever?

I don't want to get into this.

No, I'm not going to kiss you. Just a question.

Yeah.

I liked you, but...

...I love Nicolette.

And honestly, I just never saw you that way.

Why?

You seemed...

I need someone I can love. Not keep up with.

Sometimes I really just think I'm smarter and better than everyone else.

Not necessarily with...

...math or science or whether something is east or west, but...

...pretty much with everything else.

And if I could figure out my look...

...I'd be the most beautiful woman in the world too.

Sometimes I think I'm a genius...

...and I wish I could just fast-forward my life to the part where everyone knows it.

I have to say, I'm impressed, Brooke.

It takes a lot of moxie to start a restaurant.

Thanks.

You're doing it, babe.

You're out there doing something besides amassing and hoarding money.

If I could figure out how to amass and hoard money, I'd do it.

Well, you could have married me or a dozen other guys...

...but you wanted to be your own person.

Yeah, no, I'm over that now.

(LAUGHS)

You're funny 'cause you don't know you're funny.

I know I'm funny.

There's nothing I don't know about myself.

That's why I can't do therapy.

MC and I see a woman in New Haven.

Oh, you guys see a therapist?

She's totally on my side.

She basically thinks Mamie-Claire is holding me back...

...and I should just leave her.

Your couple's therapist said that?

In so many words.

But Mamie-Claire said you guys are trying to have kids.

We've talked about it, but we've also talked about breaking up.

Oh...

I'm so sorry.

No.

No, it's...

...it's liberating.

I feel great. (LAUGHS)

Yay!

I miss New York, man.

I miss you.

I look you up periodically on the Internet.

Oh, you look hot as hell in those party pictures.

Which parties? Because sometimes I look like I have fat arms.

I like fat arms.

Oh... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

I'm going to help you with this restaurant.

Thank you!

(CHUCKLES)

Mmm.

Here's what I'm gonna do for you.

We'll take my 43 stacks or dimes...

...and pay back the other investors whatever they're in for thus far.

You got a space already? A lease?

We'll put it up for rent immediately.

It, uh, cool neighborhood?

Williamsburg?

Oh, come on, the coolest.

We'll turn it over, no problem.

Because, let's face it.

Having a restaurant, it's like having a kid with a drug problem.

It's just...

It's really draining.

You're giving me money to not start a restaurant?

First of all, I am saving you.

If you started the restaurant, you would be back here in a year asking for...

...five times this.

Not if it was successful.

What are the odds?

You know...

...I'd love to see your life in the city.

We should get a drink. Or...

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

I like to drink.

Mmm.

Whatever you're doing, it's working.

No.

No, it isn't.

TRACY: Hey, guys.

Did you ever find the pot?

Tony just made the most beautiful apple bong.

We'll have to, because some celebrating is in order.

I think we might have reached a deal.

Yes. Dylan has made a proposition.

I'm going to give her the money.

Yay!

What? You're giving her money?

Who was at the door? Harold.

He's giving himself a tour of the house.

And where's Karen? I don't fucking know!

You're giving her money?

This is our decision, not yours.

I'm not giving her 200 grand. Don't worry.

I'm just bailing her out of her current situation.

And then for the whole restaurant?

No, I'm not gonna do the restaurant now.

It's just gotten too crazy.

This is a good result.

This is even better than getting the restaurant.

Less financial uncertainty.

He's right. I think I even feel a little relieved.

Mom's wasn't about money.

Well, I don't think anyone starts anything with the dream of not making money.

Do they not?

Why would you give her money?

Because it's my money.

I make it, and I can do what I want with it.

Like you have your t-shirt money.

You can do what you want with that.

We're married. This is, this is our life.

It's a real life.

I know Brooke doesn't believe that, but you do.

You know what?

I appreciate the offer, Dylan, but I'm not going to take the money.

I just wasn't brought up that way.

What will you do?

BROOKE: I'll figure it out.

I always do.

I am so impressed by you and so worried for you at the same time.

I'm so glad you're my sister.

NICOLETTE: What are you talking about?

Nothing happened. I love you!

Don't lie to my face and stab me in the back, butter boy!

That's so mean! Destroyer!

What? No, I'm not.

You're stealing my boyfriend! You're cuckolding me.

You bitch whore! DYLAN: Whoa! Whoa!

MAMIE-CLAIRE: Stop it!

Who the fuck are you?

This is my girlfriend Nicolette.

She's usually very polite.

What is it about this house? Everyone screams.

She's stealing my boyfriend!

I am not!

I resisted! I resisted!

Chill the fuck out!

I don't like shouting around the baby.

Is that a real thing?

I'm right here, and she's not stealing anything.

It's not just that! There's also this!

What the fuck is that?

Or cursing! Sorry, Karen.

NICOLETTE: Tracy knows what it is.

I'll give you a hint. It's onionskin.

She's a home wrecker and a bad person.

Stop calling her these old-timey names.

I don't know why you're defending her.

She's publishing this story all about you.

I'm not publishing anything.

I don't even know if I got into the Lit Society.

It's very competitive.

This is so nerdy. Yep.

Baby, I resisted.

Can I get a drink?

Have mine. They keep offering me alcohol.

You wrote a story about me?

She hates you. She wrote mean things about you.

It's not you. It's just inspired.

You make me want to write.

I want to read it if it's about me.

I'd like to read it too. You don't read fiction.

When it's about my friends, I do.

It's not really you. It's just very funny.

The character that Nicolette and Tony misconstrued as being you...

...is a very funny character.

Funny? What does it say?

It's not funny. It's just, it's not you.

Do you live in an apartment that's zoned commercial?

Give me that story.

It wasn't meant to be hurtful.

I didn't mean to hurt you, Brooke.

You don't get to decide what's hurtful and not hurtful.

I can only tell you my intention.

You wrote this after one night with me? One?

I guess so. Yeah, it felt longer.

You think I'm a rotting carcass?

That I am doomed to failure?

No. It's fiction, that's why it's fiction.

So much of this "fiction" did not happen this way.

Karen, you're a lawyer.

I'm going to sue you until you have nothing.

I'm just writing from my life.

No! This is not your life.

But I was there that night.

I was gonna have that night anyway.

You never were.

But I did have it, though.

You joined my life. You needed a place to go.

I invited you in and then you stole my life.

You're a leech! A bloodsucker.

You loved being admired by me. You loved it.

You loved having lessons to impart.

I didn't ask for you!

Brooke, you know great plays, right?

How would it have been if Tennessee Williams hadn't used people he knew?

There wouldn't be any plays...

I don't give a shit because I am not a friend of Tennessee Williams!

You took something I said and made a tweet about it. How about that?

That's different! It wasn't some sneaky shitty thing.

You knew I was Twittering.

Do you want me to credit you? No, I'll just delete it.

TRACY: That's not the point. I'm asking you to empathize.

It was my least popular tweet anyway.

Stop talking about Twitter, it's so awkward.

You are much more of an asshole than you initially appear.

I agree.

You think I haven't dealt with the pain of my mother's death?

I deal with it all the time! I talk about it all the time!

You talk about it all the time but you never talk about her.

You just throw out that she died and that shuts everyone up.

Your tragedy is your armor in which nothing is ever your fault.

Please! Please, friends!

Somebody defend me against this monster!

It was in pretty poor taste.

I didn't even like the writing.

Like your whole generation, it's all pastiche.

It's not a nice story. I told you.

I also told you.

The emotional betrayal, I can't speak to.

I didn't betray her.

But I can say that you portray women terribly.

And because of that, I've prepared some questions I'd like you to think about.

Are you fucking kidding me?

One. Do you believe in a woman's right to choose?

Yes. What does that...

Excuse me, I'm not done.

She's not done, bitch!

Brooke, please.

Two. What do you think someone who bombs abortion clinics would think of your story?

There isn't even an abortion in the story.

BROOKE: No, you just portray women as crazy desperate gold diggers.

Three. Do you believe the perpetrators of female genital mutilation...

...would be hindered or helped by your story?

You seemed so cool, so totally amazing...

...I didn't think it would be possible to hurt you.

Of course it's possible to hurt me.

I am the most sensitive person.

To your own feelings.

Mamie-Claire!

Sorry, I don't really think that, it's just something I would have said at one time.

I have to say, what you did to Brooke is F-ed up.

Karen, you don't see my side?

No, sweetheart.

You don't have a side. You're just wrong.

You must call the Lit Society and tell them you're withdrawing your essay.

It's not an essay. It's a short story.

This cannot appear in print or online.

Karen, will you represent Brooke?

I'm a tax attorney, but okay.

We should get dressed, baby. Dinner at the Baskins.

There's plenty of room for you all to spend the night.

You too, Karen.

One sec.

Will you draw up the contract, please?

Yes.

In the meantime, I'm gonna ask you to rewrite the story...

...and then give Brooke the re-written story.

I'll give you my email and you can BCC me.

She could just CC you. Nic's right because we'd already know that you're getting it.

Sure, CC me.

Technology, it's very complicated.

I know. I just learned what case sensitive meant, seriously, like, yesterday.

I'm not going to do any of this stuff.

You're my sister and I love you but I stand by what I did.

Guess what, bitch?

My dad isn't going to marry your slutty, atheist mother.

So we're not sisters, we'll never be.

We're nothing to each other.

There are ten questions here, all equally important, for you to answer.

Brooke...


Mom?

Oh, honey.

Ruth signed me in.

I just saw a side of him that I didn't know before.

It's strange to not really know someone.

Oh.

I'm sorry. I know you liked Brooke.

He told me that she worships you.

(SOBS)

She kept talking about how smart you are, and interesting.

(SOBBING)

Oh, honey. Don't cry.

I went through a break-up too.

You didn't tell me you were seeing anybody.

I know.

Oh, my sweet girl. Do you want to talk about it?

No.

It's too late now, anyway.

I know this is crappy timing, but I need to take a vacation.

And I got the deposit back for the flowers...

...and Colleen told me to come with her family to the Caribbean over Thanksgiving.

And, Trace, I need it.

That sounds nice, Stevie.

So, you're okay for Thanksgiving, not coming home?

Oh.

I didn't put that together.

Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be fine.

Are you okay?

I'm very sad, but I'll be okay.

I wish it had worked out...

...even though I didn't really know him.

(SIGHS)

Me too, Baby Tracy.

(PEOPLE WHISPERING)

(SCREAMING)

You're in.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

Dream baby dream Dream baby dream Dream baby dream Dream baby dream

PSYCHIC: Okay. Tracy, I'm ready.

Sometimes I worry that I'm a bad person.

That I'm one of those people who essentially has no conscience.

Spirit says...

...you need to find your home in yourself.

Spirit says...

...you haven't dropped into your body yet.

If I'm not in my body then where am I?

Five feet to the left and unhappy.

Dream baby dream Dream baby dream If a person wanted to start their own club, how would a person go about it?

COUNSELLOR: Well, I think it's pretty much done for this semester...

...but you could put in an application for funding next semester.

(KNOCKING)

TRACY: Hey!

Can I come in?

Okay.

You going home for Thanksgiving?

No, I'm going to Baltimore with Nicolette.

Oh. Nice.

Her dad fries a turkey, apparently.

You? No.

It's an application. Two.

I don't want to join Mobius. Had enough rejection.

It's not for Mobius. I quit the briefcase club.

You were right, they're self-elected douchebags.

I'm starting my own zine and I'm not saying you're in...

...but I'd be very interested in getting your and Nicolette's applications.

I'll fix us some screwdrivers.

Okay.

(MUSIC PLAYING)


It's my direction It's my proposal It's so hard It's leading me astray

(LOCK UNLATCHES)

Hello.

Hi. I'm sorry to bother you on Thanksgiving, but I met you once.

I went through your window, it was the middle of the night.

Yeah. I was with Brooke.

You're her sister, right?

Well, I was going to be.

Do you have a number for her? The old one isn't working.

I don't.

Anyway, I was gonna ask you, do you know where she went?

(KIDS CHATTERING)

Her front door is still bolted shut.

She's upstairs.

Thank you, Kareem.

You're welcome.


(KNOCKING ON WINDOW)

Hi.

Hi.

Can I come in?

TRACY: You're leaving?

In a couple of hours.

I'm gonna try my luck out west.

You're going today, on Thanksgiving?

New York isn't the New York I used to know.

There's too much construction.

Maybe L.A. is my lady.

In L.A., I qualify as well-read.

I wanted to say...

I know that you're sorry.

I'm not really that sorry.

You're not? No.

Oh, well, then fuck this!

TRACY: No!

No, wait.

I looked for you.

BROOKE: I've been around.

Are you okay? Like financially?

Yeah.

Mamie-Claire gave me what would have been my share of the t-shirt profits.

It was just enough to pay my debt and get out of town.

What will you do in L.A.?

BROOKE: I don't know.

I think I'm sick.

And I don't know if my ailment has a name.

It's just me sitting and staring at the Internet or the television...

...for long periods of time interspersed by trying to not do that.

And then lying about what I've been doing.

Then I'll get so excited about something that the excitement overwhelms me...

...and I can't sleep or do anything.

And I just am in love with everything...

...but can't figure out how to make myself work in the world.

I think I have that too.

BROOKE: I wish we lived in feudal times...

...where your position in the world couldn't change.

If you were a king or a peasant, you had to just be happy with who you were.

But wait.

TRACY: You can tutor SAT's now.

Well, I thought I might actually go to college.

I'm not an amputee.

Right.

I filled out a couple of applications.

I wrote my college essay all about you.

Really?

Oh, snap! No. It's about my mom.

But I had you there.

Yeah.

BROOKE: I let Mamie-Claire and Dylan keep the cats.

It's like, I gave them a chance for a better life...

...better than the life that I could provide them.

The cats went from stolen to given because you changed your mind.

BROOKE: Don't put that in a story.

Not because I care, but because it isn't a very good observation.

You know what's funny?

I'm not even done with my first semester of college yet.

This won't even be your big college story.

I think it will always be pretty big.

Well, thanks for stopping by...

...but I have more packing before Kareem comes over...

...and we break down the front door.

It will be hard for me not to look at New York and think of you somewhere in it.

Yeah.

Hey, Brooke?

It's not going to be as great as what my mom and your dad were planning, but...

...do you want to have Thanksgiving with me?

(CHUCKLES AND SNIFFLES)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

TRACY: Meadow had made rich fat women less fat and rich stupid kids less stupid...

...and lame rich men less lame.

And she wanted so badly to be on the other side...

...to be fat and stupid and lame and rich.

But what she couldn't see most of all...

...more than she couldn't see that she was never going to get the restaurant...

...was that those people were nothing compared to her.

They were matches to her bonfire.

She was the last cowboy, all romance and failure.

The world was changing, and her kind didn't have anywhere to go.

Being a beacon of hope for lesser people is a lonely business.

You could've been all right You could've been here tonight You could've been sweet as wine You could've been a lady You could've been all right You could've been here tonight You could've been sweet as wine You could've been a lady

They all love you You're a good girl When you awake you'll find another man Lying beside you They all need you, they all want you Well, I'll be surprised if you realised Where you're going to You could've been all right You could've been here tonight You could've been sweet as wine You could've been a lady You could've been all right You could've been here tonight You could've been sweet as wine You could've been a lady


(VOCALIZING)


You could've been all right You could've been here tonight You could've been sweet as wine You could've been a lady