Mo deng bao biao (1981) Script

Come over here!

What is it?

Have you got this on your sleeve? No... no!

Then you can't use this toilet!

I'm sorry, sir.

Let's go to the movie tonight.

Your mother too? Sure.

Can her father come along as well?

Of course.

Well, boss. How's your eye?

It hurts a bit.

Thieves are active at the United Dockyard.

I think they're inside jobs.

Go check them out.

I'll go right away.

Stand on the scale please.

I'm sorry. Please.

110 kilos! You surprised me!

You drank a lot of beer last night?

Yes, sir.

Let's see how much your stomach can take.

I'll get you and take you to the police.

Excuse me please...

Caption, There's a crowd over there!

I'll handle them.

Please spare me. It was nothing personal.

It was nothing personal.



Colour blind. You can't tell read form yellow.

Officer. Are you kidding?

Colour blind?

What colour is this?


And this?

What colour is this?


We need wise guys like you.

But you're four inches too short.

You dare to steal in front of our cameras?

I was just playing.

Playing? That's mine...

Come to my office and I'll play with you.

He deserves to be locked up!

Come into my office. Let's play.

Please give me a chance.

The guards here are very efficient.

Go get changed.

Let go.

You can't catch all the thieves.

But if we put up this act once or twice a day.

They won't dare to steal in this place.

Told you not to hit me in the stomach.

I wanted to make it look realistic.

Want some medicinal oil?

You're the lieutenant.

Who else should demonstrate?

Why can't you be the thief?

Have you got this on your sleeve?

Look at my mark! Look at my battle-scar.

Captain has suffered in the past.

4:30 p.m. At Children's Wear. You'll be the thief.

No, let him be the thief.

You don't have to get changed.

Let me help you.

No, I can manage.

Do I look smart in this uniform?

Not too bad.

This uniform of yours costs me a fortune.

I'm glad you return to help your Dad.

When are you going to Switzerland?

Doctors say my eye needs treatment at once.

So I may go next week.

Your eye needs an operation long time ago.

You're right.

Let's go to the office now.

Wait, I don't want to reveal my identity yet.

I'll observe them for a week or two.

Don't tell them who I am.

You've learned a lot in four years.

What's going on? It's getting late!

Don't worry. They're never punctual.

Good Morning.

You're lovely.

Don't forget about our date tonight.

Go measure your height.

Too short! You need more exercise.

Okay. Come back tomorrow at 9am.



Okay, go measure your height.


Bruce Tang! Are you Bruce Tang?

Come over there at once.

You should be a crook, not a security guard!

You can't say that.

But this is a job for real men.

What do you mean?

Just take you as an example.

I can tell from your scar you're brave.

And with the three stripes on your sleeve.

You look just like Bronson.

Bronson doesn't have a tummy like mine, does he?

But you walk just like him.

Really? Come back tomorrow at 9am.

Thanks... thank you!

Do you know how Bronson walks?

Like a crab.

Where's the microphone?


The microphone. Where's the loudspeaker?

What? We haven't got it.

Then why are you sitting so far away?

You think I'm loudspeaker?

Today's lecture is on security systems.

This is an electric carpet with sensor.

Let's put it in front of the door.

Now we'll switch the carpet on.

Then we'll connect it with an alarm.

Here are the positive and negative wires.

Nothing will happen if nobody steps on it.

But if someone puts a foot on the carpet...

Who told you to step on the carpet?

Where else should I step on?

Sit down!

Let's talk about fire precaution.

Smoke can kill in case of fire.

So we must put on this special helmet and suit.

We must also take an axe and ropes.

When escaping a fire, run down the stairs.

Go to the roof if the stairs are blocked.

You can breathe fresh air on the roof.

How an we escape from the roof?

By using a parachute.

A French physicist succeeded in 1783.

To become the first man to use a parachute.

The first man to use parachute in first fighting.

Is a Chinese, a former paratrooper.

His name is Chou Sai-cheong.

That's me.

It's so Ionely to be clever.

A clever man's words.

Often make the stupid ones rear with laughter.

Lieutenant! Demonstrate!

When you at the roof.

Make sure there are no obstacles.

Then test the wind direction with a handkerchief.

Take a few steps sideways, and one, two...

What happens if there's a typhoon?

Have you read 'Around the World in 80 days'.

Ready, one, two, jump.

Three, pull.

You're safely landed.

You're laughing, so you think is this a great idea or not?

It's great!

Then I want you to try it.



Don't worry. They've got a next down there.

They'll catch you alright.

You sure it works?

Yes, theoretically.

Have you done this before?

No, but Captain said he'd done it.

Test the wind direction with you handkerchief.

I forgot to bring one.

Use your hair.

Well? What is it now?

It's blown away.

To which direction?

To my left?

So the wind is from your right. Walk to you right!

I've run out of space!

We'll move left to catch you then.

Throw the dummy now.


We're not far off target. Ready, one... two, jump!

Three, pull! Jump! Jump!

Don't wait!

Are you alright?

I'll probably fall to death in case of fire.

'Towering Inferno' doesn't happen everyday.

Well, my uncle has never traveled by plane.

First time up the plane crashed and killed!

How do we know if there's a fire?

The lights there will tell us which floor's on fire.

You mean like this?

Yes, the 50th floor's on fire.

The 50th floor's on fire!

Let's run up the stairs.

Let's put on the suit.

No, we'll have a look first.

We'll get sacked if we don't put them on.

What's is it? Are you alright?

I can't make it. I've got asthma.

Don't worry. Here's some oxygen.

How old is this cylinder.

My Goodness!

Let me give you a hand.

48 seconds. You're three seconds too slow.

It's a drill?

Our detectors are sensitive.

Your cigar is enough to get it off.

Your exhibition will be safe, try it.


Guarding the door is an IBM 2003 computer.

It only reacts to a combination of code and my voice.

I can do a good imitation of horse.

The gold suit will be here and the silver suit over there.

The suits will be monitored by two cameras.

The control room will see everything.

Mr. Chow, would you like to try?

Try again. It's fun.

Not even a fly can escape your detection.

Depends whether it's a male or female.

The race has begun.

Just watch me.

Won't it kill the horse?

The bullet is so small.

No, it'll be just like a bee sting.

Then we can't fail with our bet.

How come nothing happened?

Maybe the bullet is too small.

I'll use bigger bullets next time.

There's no way we can lose then.

Of course not.

We'll give you 40 hours of driving lesson.

35 hours indoor and 5 hours outdoor.

Lieutenant, take over.

Check your mirror, start the car.

Clutch, shift the gears, apply the brake.

Sit tight.

Check the mirror.

Start the motor.

Step on the clutch.

Put it in gear.

Release the hand brake.

Apply hand signals.

Stop on the gas pedal.

Step on the clutch.

Turn right.

Step on the clutch.

Put it in gear.

Turn right.

Step hand on your brake.

What are you doing?

Just checking to see anybody got knocked down.

Let's try again.





Hand brake.

Hand signal, clutch, gears, right turn, brakes!

Good Morning.

Watch closely. It'll be your turn next.

Mirror, engine, clutch hand brake, gears...

Watch where your hand is going?

I'm sorry. I was shifting gears.

Start the engine first.

The key has snapped.

The test is over.

Wait, I'll start the engine in no time.

It'll only take a second.

Is he going to seek revenge?

I don't think so.

Hurry up! Come on!

What's the great rush?

Hurry up! Come on!

Be quick, what's the matter with you?

Got you!

The 13 Supremes!

Pay up!

I'm 90% doomed!

Make it 100%.

Look the box to your hand with a handcuff.

Because this is the Insurance Regulation.

He who forgets this will get the sack!

But robbers may chop my hand.

You can look the box to your neck.

This is a Remington rifle.

This gun has great power.

You can never miss with this.

I can get 20 wild ducks with one shot.

At the amusement park?

We do not shoot to kill.

We only want to arrest him. So we shoot his toes.

Come and try it. You.

Ready, one... two, shoot.


It's not loaded.

You can hardly miss much a big target.

You! Ready, one... two, ready!

Now is the time for self-defense.

I used to play around with Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan.

Play what? Poker?

A robber will grab your rifle during a hold.

He threatens you with it.

What do you do?

Lie down.


Kick him!

No, you should turn around and stuff your finger in the barrel.

The bullet will go backward.

And it will throw the robber away!

Come and try it.

I believe every word you said.


Ready, one... two...

Are you ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

Come and try it. Hurry.

I've tried it before.

Do it or you're fired.

Come on! Put your finger in.

Ready, one... two, shoot!

That's the end of me!

You're okay!


It's fantastic!

You're fired if "The Crab" sees you like that.

What if a robber chops my hand?

He'd attack the one with the rifle first.

Let's hope so.

Let's go see Teresa Tang tonight.

I'm busy.

What's the matter?

Some one has switched on the alarm.

Which window is it?

Number seven.

I'll go and check. Be my date tonight.

What's shall I do?

Watch your hand.

A banana?


Don't run!

Knock him out with the box!

Go away. The rifle's pointing at you.

Don't point the gun at me.

Don't point the gun at me.

Don't point the gun at me.

Go get him!

Chase? Why don't you give chase too?

I have to report... to...

Who are you calling? The switch is off!

Headquarters, do you read me? Headquarters...

Freeze! I'm going to shoot!

Stand there!

How did it happen?

Did a big fellow just come in?

I got you.

What happened to your face?

It's all because of that sex maniac.

The girl he raped is only 10 years old.

It was horrible. He's a beast.

Look at me, blood all over my body.

I just came from where blood was everywhere.

The girl is fighting for her life in hospital.

Some thing happened to my sister.

Look, my sister.

She was only 10-year-old.

She was also raped and later commiteed suicide.

God will not be kind to rapists.

He even took my trousers!

We'll check the next house.

Please hand him in if you see him.

Thank you, bye bye.

This is an old lady.

Yeah! Take I said my grandma committed suicide.


Is he the rapist?

He's the one alright!

I want to make an announcement right now.

I'm coming to Switzerland for an eye operation.

My son will be in charge here form now on.

You all know my son though you don't realize it.

Let me introduce him to you now.

Ah Fan!

He studied security systems in England.

I want to see you in my office.

I've watched you.

You're outdated by 15 years.

You're an apprentice form now on, I'll teach.

What? I'm the Captain, not an apprentice.

You're demoted. Think about it.

You can refuse but you'll be fired.

The bullets you used last time were too big.

We'll use ice bullet next time.

So we won't leave a trace?

What happened?

Lousy refrigerator! It won't happen again.

We're in with a chance on Saturday.

We'll be rich!

I can buy anything I want!

My every dream comes true.

I've been working here for 15 years.

I risked my life in the Heng Seng Bank case.

I risked my life for that

1974 bank robbery.

Look at the scar on my neck...

This guy's crazy.

He's back!

My record with this company...

I know. If you work here for another month.

You'll qualify for a $50,000 gratuity pay.

But you won't get a penny if you quit now.

I've always worked hard for the company...

Did you remember?

During the Hang Seng Bank raid in 1970.

You're the coward as others risked their life.

As others risked their life.

You dived before the robber pulled his gun.

Before a single shot was fired.

Right? You should learn from him.

Learn from who?




Tell me the truth please.

Am I really outdated by 15 years?

We are brother.

Am I really old-fashioned?

Am I old-fashioned? Am I outdated?

Be frank with me. Don't be afraid.

You're not only outdated, you're disgusting.

You're lousy.

You didn't have to be that frank.

Where are we going to work tomorrow?

You'll be the thief at Shui Hing.

Give me the big one!

Give it to me.

I want to have some fun, too.


Let's go take a look.

You dare to steal my wallet?

Susie. Leave him to me!

I was only kidding.

Do you know who I am?

No. Do you know who I am?

I have no idea at all.

Hat's is better.

I handled him with just one hand!

Thanks... thanks!

Do you know where the toilet is?

You just wait and see.

Serve you right.

Three of the same kind!

Four of the same kind!

We're on duty at the yacht club tomorrow night.

With my arms like this?

You can still play mahjong.

Pick them up! Come on!

This game is null and void!

But I've just scored a triple!

Yeah, and I scored the quartet!

You can ask him.

I saw nothing.


Taipan Lau.

You look like a warlord!

You look good in your gown, too.

Very pretty! Let's go on board.

Let's go aboard!

A handicapped security guard!

This is only my costume.

Such poor manner!

Come on! Tell the truth! Be honest!

Ah Chun, hurry up!

I'm afraid. Are there sharks around?

Don't worry. There's no sharks here.

A song to celebrate the reunion of Mr. And Mrs. Lau.

It's cold.

Makes me sick.

What are you doing? I saw you! Come out!

Give us a chance. We just swam here.

You'll get us in trouble.

Hold it! I'll go!

Go! Hurry up!

I've sympathy for these people.

Hong Kong can't take anymore people Go have a look over there.

I'm afraid.

We're hungry!

I can take you to a free world.

But I'm still hungry!

Have a drumstick.


Of course. You're travelling first class.

Wait a minute.

Having a feast on your own?

Let your brother eat first.

Go get a spoon.

Got it.

Who are you? What are you doing here?

Who are these people?

What are you doing here?

Who are they? What's going on?

What's happening? What is it?

What are you doing to my microphone?

What's going on?

Taipan Lau, the...

The microphone fell to the floor.

That's right.


I think so.

Are you sure?

You have a date?

Who? You've got the wrong number.

Whose call was it?

Why so nervous? Expecting a call?

I'm not nervous.

You just burnt your trousers.

My only pair of trousers!

Don't forget about me if you got something cooking!

One for all and all for one.

Don't hide anything from us!

Ah Chun? Mahjong? Fine. See you tomorrow.

Here's the recipe for melon with assorted meat.

One of the main ingredients is melon.

Main ingredients is ham.

Bruce, what happened to your face?

Bruce is talented.

He was cooking when...

Oil burnt his face.

That's right.

I didn't know you're so talented.

I'm a better cook than most experts.

You're fantastic.

Well... So so.

Bruce! Bruce!

What is it?

There's a lizard in the cupboard.

They're alright. Let me see.


We need to make omelette with the.

Lizard casserole is delicious.

How many eggs have you got?

A dozen or so.

May not be enough to make an omelette.

Not enough?

What's wrong with you?

I'll take a look!

You said you had a dozen or so eggs.

That's right.

That's not enough!

Of course that's not enough.

Are you afraid of a little lizard?

I'll go.

That's good.

That's is a big one in the left side.

It's dead. You want to see it?

No, thanks.

No enough to make scramble eggs.

Not this one. You've got the wrong cupboard.

That one is big enough to make an omelette.

More or less.

How is it?

It's gone. Let's forget it.

I don't want to go near that cupboard.

You'd be the cook. Let Ah Chun play mahjong.

Then I...

You're better cook than most experts.

No, I...

You said you're a talented cook.

Come on, show us what you can do.

Don't forget the ginger, garlic and onion.

Just follow the instructions.

You'll be a better cook than most experts.

It's Ah Chun's turn.

First, slice the melon into halves.

The size of the melon varies accordingly.

Try to make the melon look nicer by cutting its edge.

It may increase one's appetite.

Soak two abalone's in water.

Shred them and put them in the melon, too.

So the melon with assorted meats is done.

Now steam the melon for five hours.

This is the end of the program.

Next week we'll give you the recipe for shark's fine soup.

That's the way they made this soup?

I'll give you a hand.

Come, make yourself home!

What's the matter?

I thought you're going to make an omelet with it.

Is this a joke?

Come in.

What's the assignment, sir?

I want to send some men to the funeral pall.

Who died?

Lie Wen-chewing.

The millionaire who eats ginseng for lunch?

That's right.

Why should we guard his body?

Two years ago, he did a operation in U.S.A.

And he transplant two platinium kidney.

They are worth US$2 million.

His wife fears someone might steal them.

Let's go.

You two stay here, I'd be outside.

It's freezing cold in here.

Let's go outside.

You assume all responsibilities?

You asked for it. Suit yourself.

Let's take a break.

He's frozen stiff. He won't hurt you.

I'm not scared.

I'll go for a leak.

Me, too.

You lazy bum.

So are you.

You want to use this?

Of course. I'm butcher by trade.

What do you expect?

Are you ready?


You can't eat them all.

You scared me.

Why do you look so pale?

I'm dying for the leak.

It's my turn.

Have a grape.

I thought we shouldn't eat while on duty.

Not that you're a lieutenant.

You can eat anything you want.

Over here!

How are you getting on? They've discovered our plot.

What do you think we're doing here?

Stop them. Stall them.

I I what? Go!

Where's the body?

Where do you think you're going?

Watch him.

Don't let him escape.


I'll take this to the safety box.


Who are you? Who are you?

Be careful! I beg you.

You be carefulo, too.

Calm down! Calm down!

Be careful. It's nothing personal.

Of course it's nothing personal.

I've go a family.

So have I.

I've got a wife and three children.

I've got three wives and a child.

Let's pet them down.

Fine, let's put them down, one... two...

You just watch it! Be careful.

Be careful! I beg you.

Be careful!

Calm down!

Okay, let's put them down again!

One... Two... Three...

I'm going now. Be careful.

You too.

Go! Go!

Where's she? It's I am!

She swam all the way to this place.

She won't want to marry a poor security guard.

Forget it. Have a drink.

I don't want it.

You better have a drink.

Open up! Open up!

Go away!

Rich? You know how much money I got?

I've got none.

Bruce! Bruce! Are you alright?

Don't be like that, Bruce!

Is he crazy?

Is like that, according to the regulation.

No guest is allowed after midnight.

You're kidding. You've spoiled everything.

Alright, forget it!

He'd only carrying out his duty.

Tell her to go!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

He was only carrying out his duty.

There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry.

Go. What are you doing here?

Mom wants $50,000 to repay a debt.

I told you it would sink.

You better be practical.

Practical? I want a wife, not a washing machine.

A wife and a washing machine are about the same.

A wife is better, saves electricity.

May I?

Thank you. Thank you so much.

I think, you look...

Bye bye...

Freeze! Or you're dead!

Open the door, your horny guy. Open the door!

Don't move! Give me your rifle!

Give my your rifle! You heard me?

Hurry up! Hurry...

Hurry up!

Hurry up!

Freeze! Give me your money box!

At a count of three! One... Two...

Hurry! You heard me? Give it!

Two and a half, two and a half... three!

Don't turn!

The robbers have fled. And $50,000 is missing.

If I find out who did it.

I'll strangle him myself.

Your mother looks happy tonight.

Of course, you gave her all that money.

Where did you get the money from?

My grandma saved it for my wedding.

Wedding? You took our money for your wedding?

Don't move. Come with us.

I got a lot to tell you.

You've got our money for your wedding.

Now you must help us to get the jade suits.

A fair exchange, isn't it?

No way!

Tomorrow you are on duty, when your colleagues are not looking.

Just remove those detectors for five minutes.

No way!

You're involving my colleagues.

Well, it will not be the first time.

No way!

No way?

Your hemorrhoid getting worse?

Why did they only take $50,000?

I was chasing him. When did he take the money?

The box fell to the ground after he hit me.

That's right.

I don't think all the money fell out.

Quenelle for one and four. The 50th floor.

Another quenelle is five and ten. How much?

Light's up. Let's check the 50th floor.

You stay here. Let's go.

Four! Four armed thugs!

You take the man on the right and I take the rest.

Hey! Give me a hand!

Let's move!

You take the man on the right and I take the rest.

What? I'm the captain.

Give me the sword.

It doesn't matter who's the Captain now.

Don't move! We've got guns!

We've got a dozen men here. We all have guns.

Load your guns but don't shoot until I say.

125,246! You two ever here!

Set the Alsantians free!

What are the cavalry doing here?


789! Over here! Quick!

Fall in! One, two, three, four, five, six...

Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve!

Let t he Alsantians guard the doors.

I want them all. Set them free!

Lay down your arms and surrender!

We're coming in!

Come out from your hiding!

We'll get you!

We've got thousands in reserve!

We're coming in!

Those with axes over there!

Those with swords over here!

What's the song?

Big Boss! I know!

Wrong one!

Big Boss! I know!

Don't be a thief if you don't know how to sing!

I know! It must be "Happy Birthday" song.

Try it!

Get in through the air duet!

What's wrong with him? Set off the alarm.

Maybe he's one of them!

He maybe the one who stole the $50,000.

Set off the alarm!

What shall we do?


We're doomed if these ice bullets fall.

They must be hiding up there!

Made in Hong Kong 3000 years ago?

He may have bought it here

3000 years ago?

Don't be a thief if you don't know history.

Hold it! Hold it right there! You alright?

I hurt my neck! It turned stiff!

You are only an employee. Why fight so hard?

Take the suit off and walk out like nothing has happened.

We'll forget we've seen each other.

This jade suit is very expensive, don't damage it!

I've lost my voice.

What did you say?

I said I lost my voice.

We'll have to use your last resort!

What is that?

The parachutes!

Are you kidding?

Give me your handkerchief?

What for?

To test the wind direction, what else?

I forgot to bring one.

It's so gusty. We'll end up in China.

You think so?

Haven't you done it before?

Not in such gusty condition?

I've never used a parachute before.

But you said you were a paratrooper!

I washed dishes for paratroopers!

Let's climb up there!


Are you alright? I'm fine You waiting for the police?

What are you doing?

They're falling.

One and eight are leading. We're rich!

Number seven is coming up!

Give me an ice bullet.

We're going to fly to Taipei!

You're crazy! We're still over Kowloon.

Hey! Number two is coming up!

I'll shoot any challenger!

Looks like Anthony. What do you think?

You're right.

It's not the first time.

Move over or we'll die together!

The one underneath will die first!

One and eight are winning by a mile.

We're rich!

Don't stand on my shoulders!

It's windy!

It's down the straight with one and eight still ahead.

One and eight will win for sure.

Their backers can go pick up their winnings.

Hey! It's the Shatin Race Course.

We're going to be trampled by horses!

Oh no!

You'll get your money back since the protest sign exploded.

There goes my fortune.

Are you alright?

I'm fine.

Let's go! Stop waving at people.

Have you been cheered at by so many people?

Bruce! Are you alright? Are you hurt?

I'm fine. See you later.

I want to thank our two heroes today.

I also want to present Captain Chou with a check.

$50,000 of gratuity pay!

Captain Chou will stay here as our teacher.

Let's all learn from Captain Chou.

From self-defense to parachuting.

Captain is still the expert.


Come on!

I know.

But what about the missing $50,000?

You can deduct it from his salary.

His salary? Do you know how long it will take?

More or less fifteen years.

$50,000 is a lot in the old days.

But it can't buy much now.

I'll give it up for him.

There goes my fifteen years.

What are you looking at?

How many stripes have you got?

Captain Chou!

Get in!

Don't overdo anything!

Take good care!

How can I ever repay my debt to you?

You debt to here will take a life time.

Mine will take is years.

Slow down! You don't have a license!

I know.

Mirror, engine, clutch...

Gears, hand brake.




About my theories on self defense, and others...

I want to publish a book on them.

Shall I use my name or the company's name?

Oh, my God!

Oh dear!

What's wrong with you? You got a license?

Do you know how to drive?

You better use your own name.