Modern Life Is Rubbish (2017) Script

♪ Can you hear the road From this place? ♪

♪ Can you hear Footsteps? ♪

♪ Voices? ♪

♪ Can you see The blood on my sleeve? ♪

♪ I have fallen In the forest ♪

♪ Did you hear me? ♪

♪ In the loneliness ♪

♪ Oh, the loneliness ♪

♪ And the scream to prove To everyone that I exist ♪

♪ In the loneliness ♪

♪ Oh, the loneliness ♪

♪ And the scream To bring the blood ♪

♪ To the front Of my face again ♪

♪ Am I here? ♪

♪ Of course I am, yes ♪

♪ All I need is your hand To drag me out again ♪

♪ It wasn't me ♪

♪ I didn't dig this ditch ♪

♪ I was walking for weeks Before I fell in ♪

♪ To the loneliness ♪

♪ Oh, the loneliness ♪

♪ And the scream To prove to everyone ♪

♪ That I exist ♪

♪ In the loneliness ♪

♪ Oh, the loneliness ♪

♪ And the scream to fill ♪

♪ A thousand black balloons With air ♪ Oh!

Now approaching...

Please stand on the right of the escalator.

Please remember to touch in and touch out.

Ground floor.

Lift going up.

Hi. Hi.

Spoke to the landlord. We both need to be out first thing Monday.

The van's coming tomorrow at 6:00 p.m.

May as well just get on with it.


Which album?

The Best Of.

It's mine.


Did you say something?


I just... I-- I wouldn't buy that one.

Excuse me? I wouldn't buy The Best Of.

It's cheating.

Best ofs are like a shortcut to enlightenment.

If you want to get into Blur properly, then you need to appreciate the musical odyssey that they went through.

Look, this is just a hodgepodge.

The songs aren't even in order of release. It's a complete mess.

You should do it properly. Work your way through the oeuvre.

See, most people make the mistake of starting with Parklife, but there was two other albums before.

People just lump Blur in with Oasis and assume Parklife was some kind of overnight sensation, like Definitely Maybe.

They don't appreciate their roots, how their sound evolved over many years.

Your best bet is to go back to square one with Leisure and move through to Modern Life is Rubbish.

Then you'll have earned Parklife, before you move on to...

Sorry. Do you work here? No.

So anyway, yeah, I mean, I'd start with Leisure.

And I'd try and get it on vinyl. It's a much richer sound.

I'm... I'm just trying to help.

Thanks for the advice, but I already have the entire Blur canon on CD and vinyl.

My cousin used to be one of their roadies.

Well, then why are you bothering with that?

Because this is the two-disc limited edition with the live recording of their Wembley concert.



Didn't mean to bug you.

I just fucking love Blur! You know...

Yeah. Me too.

I've got lectures. Yeah. Yeah.

Hi. I'd like to just get this.

12.99, please.

Okay. Thanks.

Don't bother with that, mate. Piece of shit.

Can I take one of these, please? Of course you can.


♪ Don't look back Into the sun ♪

♪ Now you know That the time is come ♪

♪ Though they said it would Never come for you, oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Oh, my friend You haven't changed ♪

♪ You're looking rough And living strange ♪

♪ And I know you got A taste for it too ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ And they'll never forgive you But they won't let you go ♪

♪ Oh, no ♪

So you're in a band? Yeah.

Well, cool.

You should, you know, let me know if you guys have a gig or whatever.

Are you on Myspace? No, well, not yet, no.

I mean... I mean, we're still sort of working on the set list and harmonizing the creative energies, you know, things like that.

I'm not trying to interrogate you. I'm just interested.

You can ask me a question if you want.

Oh, what, are we playing a game now?

Okay, sure.

Ask me a question and I'll answer.

Um, what's your favorite food?

Licorice Allsorts. Really?

Even the boring, squirrelly, black, twisty ones?

Especially the boring, black, squirrelly, twisty ones.

Who is your biggest hero? Jimi Hendrix.


Uh, least favorite food. Baked beans.

Evil texture. Ugh.

Um, most treasured possession.

My dad's guitar.

Best talent.

That would have to be my monkey impression.

Oh, God!

What's your biggest dream?

Going to Tower Records and seeing an album cover I designed.


Favorite moment of the year thus far? Right now.

Well, I mean, probably when I got really mashed on some peyote and listened to Abbey Road for six hours on repeat.

I mean, that was fucking epic. Yeah.

What does that say?

I love this track!

Thinkin' back Thinkin' of you ♪

♪ Summertime Think it was June ♪

♪ Yeah, I think it was June ♪

♪ Layin' back Head on the grass ♪

♪ Chewing gum Havin' some laughs ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm havin' some laughs ♪

♪ You make me feel Like the one ♪

♪ Make me feel like the one ♪

♪ The one ♪

♪ You make me feel Like the one ♪

♪ Make me feel like the one ♪

♪ The one ♪

♪ Thinking back Drinking for two ♪

♪ Drinking with you ♪

I haven't got a, um...

Oh, oh, oh. Um... Yeah.




It's not going on.

Try it the other way around?

Oh, yeah. Right.

Okay. Got it.

Have you done this before?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah? Yeah.


Okay, just a bit... a bit higher.

A bit high... No! A bit lower now.

No! Not there! Not there.

Nearly. Just a bit too...

And now push.

Okay. Okay.

Fuck off, or I'll come over!

Wait. Um...

Could we put the radio on or something? The walls are paper thin.

Yeah. Okay.


Here. I'll try something else.

Let's, um...

Let's move to the floor. Yeah. Okay.


Just wiggle this way and I'll just... make myself...

♪ All I want in life's A little bit of love ♪ ♪ Wise men say ♪

♪ To trip the pain away ♪

♪ Only fools rush in ♪

♪ Only fools rush in ♪

♪ But I ♪

♪ I can't help ♪

♪ I can't help falling ♪

♪ Falling in love with you ♪

♪ I will love you ♪

♪ Till I die ♪

♪ And I will love you ♪

♪ All the time ♪

♪ So please Put your sweet hand ♪

♪ In mine ♪

So how was your thing last night?

It's gone really well, actually.

Working something out with a promoter. Putting a massive gig together.

It's all looking pretty fucking fonzie. Okay. I was just asking.

We don't have to drag it out like this. You know?

I mean, I could just copy these for you.

Or you could upload them if you just got yourself an iPhone.

I refuse to join the ranks of the Sudoku-playing, Kindle-reading, latte-slurping, iPhone-wearing clones that adorn this city, oblivious to the fact that their individuality has been co-opted by a handful of global multinationals!

Fuck the iPhone!


You still sticking with the same name? For the EP?

Yeah. Hip Operation?

Yes. It's clever.

It works on two different levels.

But you wouldn't get that, would you?


I know you won't listen to me. You never listened to me about the name of the band.

What's wrong with the name of the band?

Head Cleaner?


You used to get those cassettes that clean fluff off tape decks.

It's like a reference to musical history. It's retro.

And everybody knows having "head" in the name of a band is like a lucky charm.

Plus it sounds cool. And it works on two different levels.


Yeah. All right, fine. Yeah, I can dig it.

So what about the, uh... the dynamic? Well, that's obvious.

You on bass, Gus on drums.

I'm the front man. Lead guitar and vocals.

Hang on. Why do you get to be the front man? Because I'm lead guitar.

Exactly. What do you mean, exactly? Exactly what?

It'll cloud your focus. Maybe I should be the front man.

Then it'll cloud your focus. Besides, you're just a bass player.

If you wanted to be front man, you should have learned a different instrument.

Bass players can't be the front man. Oh, right.

I guess you haven't heard of an obscure little band called the Police?

Or some random bloke called Paul Mc-fucking-Cartney?

I could be the front man. Like Dave Grohl.

Well, if I shoot myself in the mouth with a shotgun, maybe you'll be given a chance.

But until that day, I'm the fucking front man.

What's up, boys?

Rehearsal's not going well?

Just having some creative differences.

You know how it is, Len.

I know a geezer you should meet.


Yeah, he'll put the jam in your sandwich, all right.

What, is he a manager?

Yeah, sort of. He's more like a kind of groove doctor.

You know, audio alchemist.

Sonic surgeon.

Legend has it he gave Shaun Ryder his first E.

Helped Johnny Marr crack the riff for "This Charming Man."

Kept the Gallaghers from killing each other.

For a bit.

I mean, if I could find him...

Yeah, you should definitely talk to him.

Could be tricky though.

He had to disappear for a while after that business in the hotel in Amsterdam.

What's his name?

No one knows his real name.

They just call him the Curve.

No, no, no, no.

No, he's the real deal, lads.

I'll put a word out, yeah?

See what I can do.

Stick it to the man, boys.

Rock and roll! Yeah!

I'm just saying, it's been three days.

I just thought I would have heard from him. You know?

Men are only good for one thing. I've told you that.

Maybe it's because he doesn't have a phone.

What is he, a caveman? How could he not have a phone?

Something about not wanting to conform? I don't know.

He sounds weird to me. He is.

But I kind of liked him.

I don't get it. It was all so perfect.

Maybe that's why he hasn't called. Commitment-phobe.

Hide. Hide. Hide.


So, uh, what kind of desert island?

What? Well... is it big?

Is it small? What's the climate like?

Is there any wild animals running around?

It's hypothetical. I know.

But it might affect my choices.

I mean, if there was wild animals running around, then I might want some Metallica to scare 'em off.

Or if push came to shove, then some Celine Dion.

There are no wild animals. Mm-hmm.

It's a small island.

It's just you, a coconut tree, and a view of the ocean.

I'd have to take some Radiohead.

It's just a case of which album.


Oh, but the Stones, Let It Bleed.

I'd have to take Motörhead. Motörhead?

They've only done one good song. Yeah.

But it's only the best head-banging tune in the history of rock.

Okay, so you're gonna take a whole Motörhead album for one song?

Yes. Motörhead are gods.

Besides, having "head" in the name of your band is a surefire way to create musical genius.

Think about it.

Motörhead. Portishead.

Talking Heads. Radiohead.

It's basically scientific fact.

Give it a couple years and you'll be adding Head Cleaner to that hallowed list.

Head Cleaner? Yeah.

It's the name of my band. What do you think?

Well, yeah, it's... it's... it's interesting.

It works on two different levels. Maybe even three.

So, is this your original stuff?

Looks like a... Stone Roses cover.


Thank you.

I'd have that as my album cover any day of the week.


You have three, two to go.

Electric Ladyland.

You're just a closet populist, aren't you?

If you're gonna say that... Hold on.

Okay. Shit.

Just listen to this.


Oh, I got goose bumps.

Your theory is bollocks, by the way.

What theory?

About bands with "head" in the name.

What about the Lemonheads? They were crap.

No theory is infallible. That's why they're called theories.

The Lemonheads were all right.

Oh! Shit!

Whoa, Liam. Don't strain yourself, okay?

Look at this crap.

You're such a hoarder. This is a total waste of space.

It's not a waste of space.

I'm sorry, but some of us can't just put our entire lives on a fucking USB stick.

♪ You wanna come back to me ♪

Look, there's something I want to tell you.


I love you. What?

I said I love you.

I love this one too. This is one of my favorites! Whoo! Whoo!

I fucking love you!

What did you say? Nothing.

I love you too, Liam.

Listen. I'm tired.

It's getting late.

I don't want to argue.

We'll do the rest of this tomorrow.

If you're so adamant on being the front man, I reckon I need a gimmick.

No. Look, I'm not just gonna fade into the background.

So I need something. A hook. Something to distinguish me.

What are you on about?

Like the way Wes Borland is covered in paint, or Adam Clayton wears those funny glasses.

What do you think about me wearing a top hat?


Fucking brilliant.

All you've got to do now is sit back and wait for the Grammys to roll in.

Who the fuck was that?

Don't misuse my minutes, Len.

Oi, wait, wait, wait.

Wh-What happened, man?

Lenny, who is this guy?

I'm the guy who expanded the minds of some of the greatest musicians in history.

I've opened hitherto unexplored artistic avenues for everyone from Depeche Mode to Arcade Fire.

I've shared drugs and women with the Gallaghers.

We're serious about this band. We'll listen to anything you got to say.

Your rehearsal was supposed to start an hour ago, and all you've done is drone on about fucking hats!

I work with real musicians. Wait.

Please. Just get one beer and check out our stuff.

Have a little listen, Curve. Have a taste.

You'll like it.

For you, Len.

Well, go on then.


♪ Give it to you Like that ♪

Well, all things considered, it's not total shite.

Does that mean you'll help us? I've got a lot of bands on my roster right now.

But we need somebody objective.

A Malcolm McLaren or Brian Epstein.

Our P. Diddy. Isn't it Puffy again?

No, it's still Diddy. No, I'm sure it's Puff Daddy.

It's Diddy, you dick. Will you shut the fuck up?

Look, I can't turn shit into gold.

I'm not a miracle worker.

You lot would have to do all the hard work.

All I can do is tweak a few titties. You get me?

So, does that mean you're in?

I'll think about it.

Curve, before you go, what actually happened in that hotel in Amsterdam?

If you enjoy the use of your lungs, don't ever fucking ask me about the Dam again.

How much, mate?

Five pound.

I'm so surprised. They're quite good.

They are good. They're really good.

I've seen someone I like. So I'll see you later, okay?


Told you he wouldn't come.

Brought you a cold one.

What's wrong?

I don't know what's happened to the Curve. No one could get hold of him.

He's supposed to be putting the jam in our sandwich.

Don't worry. It's going well.

They're not feeling it.

I've got a present for you.

I wasn't gonna give it to you now, but maybe it'll be a lucky charm.


Thanks, babe.

If you send one more text during this gig, I'll ram this phone down your throat, pull it out your fucking ass, and text a picture to your mum.

Hello, lads. Did you miss me?

Hello, you sluts. Are you ready for some rock and roll?

Whoo! Have I died?

I can't hear you. I said, are you ready for some rock and roll?

Good. Because this is Head Cleaner.

Come on! Make some fucking noise!

Turn the bass down to five, turn the vocals up to nine.

Right, lads. This is your stage. Own it.

Gus, don't hold back on the snare no more.

Liam, don't fucking sing from the vagina. Sing from the heart.


Take that fucking stupid hat off.

One, two, three, four!

♪ I can feel your ♪

♪ Empty body ♪

♪ Getting closer ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ I can't help it ♪

♪ Uncontrollable ♪

♪ Like I'm stronger ♪

♪ Again ♪ Whoo!

♪ I'm so strung out At night ♪

♪ What's left Till you find out ♪

♪ Pick you up, put you down Still you wanna hold me ♪

♪ I'm so strung out tonight ♪

♪ So hard-up inside ♪

♪ I pick you up And put you down ♪

♪ And still you wanna Hold me tight ♪

♪ Still you wanna Hold me tight ♪

♪ Still you wanna Hold me tight ♪ Whoo!

Sorry there's not much room for your stuff.

All I need is my guitar and my girl, and I'm good to go.

Straight up, straight up. Round this corner.

♪ So at my show on Monday I was told that someday ♪

♪ You'd be on your way To better things ♪

♪ It's not about your makeup Or how you try to shape up ♪

♪ To these tiresome Paper dreams ♪

♪ Paper dreams, honey ♪

♪ Now you pour your heart out ♪

♪ You're telling me You're far out ♪

♪ Not about to lie down For your cause ♪

♪ You don't pull my strings ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a better man ♪

♪ Moving on to better things ♪

♪ Oh-oh I love her because ♪

♪ She moves in her own way ♪

♪ Oh-uh-oh ♪

♪ I love her because ♪

♪ She moves in her own way ♪

♪ Oh-uh-oh ♪

♪ She came to my show Just to hear about my day ♪

♪ And at the show on Tuesday ♪

♪ She was in her mind-set ♪

♪ Tempered firs And spangled boots ♪

♪ Looks are deceiving Making me believe it ♪

♪ And these Tiresome paper dreams ♪

♪ Paper dreams, honey, yeah ♪

♪ So won't you go far Tell me you're a keeper ♪

♪ Not about to lie down For your cause ♪

♪ But you don't Pull my strings ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm a better man ♪

♪ Moving on To better things ♪

♪ Oh-uh-oh, oh I love her because ♪

♪ She moves in her own way ♪

♪ Oh-uh-oh, whoa She came to my show ♪

♪ Just to hear about my day ♪ Wait! Aaah!

♪ Yes, I wish That we never made it ♪

♪ Through all the summers ♪

♪ And kept them up ♪

♪ Instead of kicking us back ♪

♪ Down to the suburbs ♪

♪ I guess I wish That we never made it ♪

♪ Through all the summers ♪

♪ And kept them up ♪

♪ Instead of kicking us back ♪

♪ Down to the suburbs ♪

This is perfect.

A perfect day.

We just needed to feed the animals in the zoo.

And drink sangria in the park.

And be addicted to heroin.

We're on wafer-thin ice with this place.

Rent's due on the tenth and the gas and electricity is due the week...

Due the week after. I know.

Look, we'll figure it out.

If the Curve's A&R guy comes through, then we're gonna be laughing all the way to the Rolls-Royce dealership.

Now, are you helping me with this pizza or what?


What are you doing?

I've just thought of a great lyric.

♪ Dum-dah-dum dum ♪

♪ Allsort girl ♪

♪ Dum-dah-dum dum ♪

♪ Dum-dah-dum-dah ♪

♪ Allsort girl ♪

♪ Dah-dah-dum-dah ♪

We should probably eat that pizza.

Yes, we should.

I almost don't want to touch it.




An artist.

A muse.

A culinary wizard.

I'm just being greedy.


Mmm. Best not.

Don't worry about tomorrow.

Do you know how hard it is to get these interviews? I don't want to be half-cut.

Relax. They're gonna love you. It's gonna be fine.

Everything that you do, my love, is a work of fucking art.

Everyone's cutting back. No labels are hiring.

I mean, these interviews are a waste of time.

Even the top in-house designers are having to spec out work.

It's just not happening.

Our rent's coming up and God love him, he does try, but he can't seem to hold any of these jobs for longer than a month.

And one of us has to bring in some real cash, or...

Well, if you're that hard-up, we're always looking for good designers at our agency.


Contrary to popular opinion, the office doesn't actually smell of sulfur, you know.

Anyway, it's digital marketing, darling.

I'm sure I can get you an interview.

I don't know.

Nat, wake up and smell the economic implosion, okay?

Just think about it. I actually think you'd quite like it.

And I think you'd be quite good at it. You all right, babe?


How'd the interview go? Just wasn't the right opportunity.

We'll figure it out.

As soon as we're signed, all of our problems will be over. I promise.

How are we doing with the logos?

Yeah, uh, just inked out some options for you.

If you don't like any of them, then I can just go back and...

No, no, no, no. These are all well-refrigerated, for real.

But this is the one. Yeah, this is the one we'll use for the demo cover.

That's a dog's dangly bits, that is.

So, Natalie, if you were a brand, what would you be?

What are you doing home?

Manager was a jobsworth prick.

Gave me the boot. It's all good though.

I need to concentrate on the demo, get these tracks finished, really.

How did your interview go?

They offered me the job.

They did? That's brilliant!

Are you not happy?

Yeah. Yeah.

Of course I am.

Financial security, steady paycheck.

What's all this?

I'm reorganizing our music collection.

Come up with a great new system. You're gonna love it.

I'll walk you through it later, but basically it's separated by country and genre and then alphabetized within the different subcats.

Careful. Careful.

I'm being careful. All right? Slowly. Slowly.

Wait! Stop! Grab it!

Leave them. What?

It's pointless. I don't even want them. I just want to go.

Are you crazy?

You can't just leave them.

It's all on my iTunes anyway. That's not the point.

None of this even matters. I hate CDs anyway.

They're tacky. They get scratched and they skip.

Only if you don't take care of them properly.

Let me show you something. Come on.

Come on. What? No.

Come on. Come on. Liam, I d...

I'm not a baby. You can let go of my hand.

You see this?

Radiohead. Kid A.

Only a limited number of first-edition copies had this inside.

This is not the track listing or the inlay sleeve.

It's a whole different ball game.

A veritable phantasmagoria of ideas, poems, phrases, artwork, and they hid it in there.

You have to break it open to find it.

See it as whatever you want.

A hidden treasure map to help people understand the album on a deeper level, or an irrelevant gimmick that will remain unread and unfound by 99% of the people that bought it.

But the fact remains, it was put there for a reason.

And call me old-fashioned, but I think it's nice, as a functioning, alive, flesh-and-blood human being, to be able to hold something tangible in your hands,

to appreciate the texture,

to actually have an interaction with... with something physical and real...

before we all download our brains into cyberspace and receive a pixilated equation telling us the formula for a good fucking song, or drinking a decaf fucking latte!


Well, there's a two-hour queue for the showers and a four-hour queue for the cash point.

Are you sure there's no more food left?

We've got one tin of beans left. That's it.

Next year, when we're headlining, we'll be backstage gorging on caviar... lap of luxury.

Beans it is then.

Is that all right?

Yeah, it's fine.

Is it man-fine or woman-fine?


Oh, you know, like, man-fine means it's actually fine.

Like when you're in the pub and someone says, "They're all out of Heineken. I got you a Stella." And you say, "That's fine."

You know, it means exactly that.

Woman-fine means I'm saying it's fine, but there's an implicit sense of guilt, anger, and thinly-veiled resentment attached to the statement, designed specifically to make the man feel guilty and ashamed.

But there's no way he could possibly contest it, because technically you've already said, "It's fine."

Though the tone of your voice, you know, suggests that the subtext is, "I fucking hate you."

That's woman-fine.

So is it actually fine, or...

No, it's not.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of everything.

This place, here, being stuck in a muddy tent for three days with no food, no money.

I'm... I'm soaking wet.

This is shit!

Why did you come here then?

Yeah. You're right.

I obviously shouldn't have bothered.

I've... had enough.

What do you mean?

I've had enough!

If you're gonna be in a band, then be in a fucking band!

Work, rehearse, hustle, write!

I mean, you bang on about how great you're gonna be, and you haven't even recorded the fucking demo!

I gave up my dream so that you could live yours.

This whole place, it just sums you up.

Never Never Land for a bunch of aimless, perpetually stoned slackers.

I get why you like it, but I'm not 18 anymore.

I mean, there's more to life than this.

Like what?

Like getting married.

Buying our own house.

Raising a family.

Where's all this coming from?

This is exactly what I'm talking about. You've got no idea, do you?

I'm not a student anymore. I'm nearly 30. I...


Just perfect.

I bought you the tickets because I know how much you wanted to come.

I bought the tickets because you're skint. Because you're always skint!

But I don't care.

I'd bankroll the both of us until we're old and wrinkly and our pensions have run out... if you just really tried to make this work.

What? Nat, w...

I'm going home.

What are you saying? I need time to think.

And so do you.

Thank you.

Are you lost?

You all right?

What's wrong? Little fella's lost.

Don't worry, mate. We'll find your mum.

You mustn't run off like that!

How many times have I told you? Come on.

What kind of mother takes her son to a modern art gallery?

Borderline child abuse.

What are we doing here anyway?

I told you. We're doing a viral campaign for the gallery.

A wank, if you ask me. Shh!

Keep your voice down. These are clients.

Liam, my boss is here, okay? Well, who cares what they think?

Fucking corporate whores!

Are you drunk? Maybe.

Are you kidding me right now, Liam? No.


Liam. This is, um, Mr. Jennings, my boss.

From the office party, remember? And this is Adrian.

Hi. Good to see you, man. How's the band going?

Is it the Head Wipers?

It's going fucking awesome, mate.

Yeah, actually, Liam's not feeling too great so he might have to head back.

Sorry to hear that. Feel better, man.

Don't do this to me. You're drunk. You need to go home.

What's that?



I bought an iPod.

Are you serious? I mean, where's the inlay sleeve?

Where's the track listing? The artwork? The credits?

I just want to listen to the music.

You used to want to design album covers, for crying out loud.

Yeah, well, I guess they'll just have to be digital now.


All of this crap is killing the music industry. Don't you realize that?

We met in a record store.

That's never gonna happen again.

If those things had been around ten years ago, we'd never have even met.

I mean, where does it end?

Food chains, coffee chains, iPods, cell phones?

It's all part of the same process of corporate homogenization.

Yeah, it's just a hundred quid to you.

But no one's stopping to ask what the true cost is here, to the music industry, to the little man, to the individual, to the band, to me!

Liam, can you keep your voice down?

No! I'm sorry, but I can't let this slide, Nat.

The iPod is a shoplifter of the soul, and it's designed specifically to sap the human spirit.

Look, you sold out!

Please be quiet. Or what? Eh? Or what?

You fucking people.

You don't have any heart, any soul.

You don't know what it costs to create something, to reach inside yourself and pull your heart out and get nothing in return!

You people wouldn't know good art if it hit you in the fucking face!

Get the fuck off!

I can't believe that you're doing this to me.

Are you crazy? What the fuck are you playing at?

They passed on our demo.

You think that's an excuse?

It's the last one. I mean, we're cooked.

Everybody's scaling back their rosters.

In five years, they're the only label that's paid any interest.

It's over.

You know, for once, you're absolutely right, Liam.

It is definitely 100 percent over.

I'm all packed.

So, um... So I guess this is it.

I'm so sorry.

Me too.

You can have this if you want.



It's too experimental for me anyway.

Thank you.

♪ Limb by limb And tooth by tooth ♪

♪ Stirring up inside of me ♪

♪ Every day, every hour ♪

♪ I wish that I ♪

♪ Was bulletproof ♪

♪ Wax me ♪

♪ Mold me ♪

♪ Heat the pins And stab them in ♪

♪ You have turned me into this ♪

♪ Just wish that it ♪

♪ Was bulletproof ♪

♪ So... So... So-so-so ♪ Fuck's sake!

It's somebody's birthday.

Oh, come on, love.

Come on.

Make a wish.

Here. Three sugars, just the way you like it.


So... you really buggered that up then, didn't you?

Don't start, Mum. I know. I know.

A lovely girl like that.

Oh, well, it's no wonder she left, if this is how you spend all your life.

Lay off, Mum. Please. Look, I'm working on it.

It doesn't look like you're working on it.

You can't kip on my couch forever, Liam.

You need to get up off your ass and get yourself a job. I know.

And keep it this time.

I know. I know.

And while you're staying here, you can help around the house.

The front door needs fixing.

Okay, fine.

Do you want your pressie?

Well, what do you think?

♪ Cut me like a rose ♪

♪ Turn me on my feet ♪

♪ Hold me on the floor ♪

♪ Heavy like the force Between us ♪

♪ I was a ghost ♪

♪ Halted in flight ♪

♪ Kneeling ♪

♪ There of the heart ♪

♪ God undertow ♪

♪ Feeling ♪

♪ I was only falling in love ♪

♪ I was only falling in love ♪ The Digital Partner App allows couples to send each other digital gifts in a... in, um... in a simulated environment.

Um, just...

Like, bouquets of flowers, and, um, love poems, box of chocolates, that sort of thing.

Uh, each partner's profile can be individually personalized, so the digital avatar on the screen actually directly resembles the actual person.

The gifts that you can give will be charged to an account.

Uh, they'll be affordable.

A pound each or so, rising steadily.

And it's a great way for couples to communicate and, you know, show that they're thinking of each other.

And obviously, there are pop-up ads, the usual accoutrements.

Put your shrapnel away.


Sorry, man. Split's cleaned me out.

Look, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I need to sort my shit out.

I just got a new job, as it goes.

They're looking for more staff.

I can put in a word with the manager, if you want.

That would be great. Where is it?

Cappuccino for Tristan?

Cappuccino for Tristan.

I've got a large soy decaf latte for Adrian.

Large decaf latte for Adrian.


Oh, geez, sorry, man. I didn't see you there. How you doing?

Sorry. How are things with Head Squeaker?

Actually, I'm-I'm gonna give you guys a minute.

Um, I'll just be outside. Okay.

You got a job.

It's temporary.


All right, Nat? Hi.

Right. Is that mine?

Large latte, extra froth.

Just the way you like it.


Bye. Bye.

Hi. Can I have a skinny soy latte, please?

Hey, um...

Listen, Nat. I don't want to be in the middle of something.

I have been on the other side of this.

Will you need more time?

I totally get it.

It's over.

I promise.

I need to move forward.



Excuse me? What?

A skinny soy latte, please.

Sorry, mate. Olly.

Skinny soy latte.

Liam! I don't pay you to smoke!

Fuck. Shit.

♪ Love ♪

♪ Love will tear us apart ♪

♪ Again ♪

♪ Oh, love ♪ What are you trying to say?

Piss off, mate. ♪ Apart ♪ Oy!

You're playing it in the wrong key, anyway, you prick!

♪ And love ♪

Look, we all love Nat, okay?

But it's over. She's moving on. So should you.

I've got one word for you: Tinder.

What's that? It's a dating app that links to your Facebook.

I'm not even on Facebook. You know that.

This is what I'm talking about. Right? This all has to stop.

We are dragging you, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century.

You are going on Tinder. Now come on.

Grow some bollocks.

Olly? Come on. It's the Great British Bake Off. Let's go.

Coming, sweetie.

What? Doesn't mean I'm not right.

Olly! Coming. Coming.

Hey. Are you Claire?

No. No, I'm Layla.

Sorry. It's okay.

Are you from the States?

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Studying here, or...

No, no. I, uh... I work in a clothes shop on Portobello.

How about you? What do you do?

Wait. Let me guess. Something artistic, right?

Oh, I'm in a band. Yeah.

I knew it. You've got that look.

The whole smoldering, tortured rocker thing going on.

It's kinda cool.

Well, that can't be good.

Yeah. Seems my date's flaked on me.



Well, here's my friend.

Why don't I give you my card, in case... you know, in case you ever need some vintage women's clothing.

Hey. I'm sorry I'm late. Hi. Okay.

Are you ready? Yeah, let's go.

Ooh, I don't know how he did that.

Honestly, even the texture of baked beans, it makes me wince.


So, do you like it here in London?

Yeah. Yeah. I wish I had been here in the '60s. That was my era, you know?

I should have been working in some Carnaby Street boutique in 1962.

Driving an E-type Jag with a beehive hairdo, doing the Twist and freaking out to the Beatles.

I know.

Do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong time?

Yeah. All the time.

What are you listening to?

Bombay Bicycle Club.

Nice. That's nice.

But check this out.

I think you'll really love it.

Interesting. Yes?

Can I have this dance?


♪ Embrace the cold ♪

♪ Embrace my heart ♪

♪ Our love grown old ♪

♪ At least For each and one point ♪

♪ Ohh, white skin to me ♪

♪ It'll be hard To break from you ♪

♪ It will be hard to break ♪ Any requests?

No. Just whatever you want.

♪ She's underwater again ♪

♪ Somebody's daughter A friend ♪

♪ In the night, in the dark In the cold ♪

♪ As she walks far away ♪

♪ Nobody's watching ♪

♪ Drowning in word... ♪

♪ I will love you till I die ♪

♪ And I will love you All the time ♪ Everything all right?

Yeah. Just... Sorry. Could we change this song?

Sure. Uh...

Anything you want? What are you into at the moment?

Um, Black Keys, The xx, Frightened Rabbit, Radiohead, obviously.

Man, I hate Radiohead. They're so pretentious and depressing.

Gotta call a veto on that shit.

One more drink. I've got work in the morning.

So do I.

Thanks again for dinner.


I've got good news, boys. My contacts came through. You've gotten a gig.

Foals. Yeah.

You're on the bill next month at The Forum.


This is it, boys! This is our comeback!

But we need to be totally ready, right?

Facebook, Twitter, SoundCloud, Groove Shot, the lot.

And we have to be ready, so that if we get a spark, it all catches fire.

'Cause all we really need is one killer track, Liam.

This is it. This is the lifeline we've been waiting for.

So let's make it count!

Are you up for this?

I don't know, man.

Are we kidding ourselves?

It feels like this ship's already sailed. Don't you think?

No. I don't think. Because this is our chance. This could be our comeback.

Comeback kind of implies that you've got something to come back from.

You got dumped, and it sucks, and it hurts, and it's shit, and I'm sorry.

But we need you on top form for this gig. Yeah?

We need a banging new song. We need a single.

You're the fucking songwriter. You wanted to be the front man. Remember?

Yeah. So, start acting like one.

♪ Strong enough to find me ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Somebody's listening ♪

The wait is finally over.

The one and only...

Head Cleaner!

We're Head Cleaner. This is a song called "Mystery."

♪ The familiar empty feeling In a sickly void ♪

♪ In the bottom of my gut ♪

♪ Where this thing belongs ♪

♪ Closing my insides ♪

♪ Tedious, repetitive ♪

♪ At least this time's It's become a part of me ♪

♪ Used to it by now ♪

♪ But it's still Quite hard to swallow ♪

♪ I'm used to it by now ♪

♪ But still can't spare The sorrow ♪

♪ If you want another life Come on, get the best of me ♪

♪ I'll be the story But you can be the mystery ♪

Mmm! What?

This pistachio is incredible.

You have to try this. Really? Go on, then.

You have to. That's a lot.

Yeah. Wow, that's, um... It's so good.

It's... I mean, it's really excellent gelato.

And speaking of gelato, you know, there is another place that I really think we should check out.

Oh, yeah? Where? Yeah. It's supposed to be fantastic.

Um, it is about... 992 miles away.

It's Florence.

Florence? Yeah.

I was thinking maybe you and me could go on a little trip.

Unless, of course, you don't like incredible architecture, and beautiful weather, and the most spectacular art ever created in the history of humanity.

In which case, we should just forget it.

I mean, it's up to you. But, um, just think about it.

Okay. Okay.

Olly, I'm gonna do the liquorice allsorts song.

Liam, we haven't practiced it. All right?

It's going well. Stick to the set list.

No. It's going well, mate.

C-D-E. Just follow it on the bottom line.

Gus, kick drum halfway through. All right?

I'm not playing the song, mate. I don't know it. Don't fucking start, Gus.

Liam! If you feel it, play it!

You'll mess it up.

♪ You are a light ♪

♪ Which is strong enough ♪

♪ To find me ♪

♪ Blind me ♪

♪ I wish ♪

♪ I was strong enough ♪

♪ To see it Before you were gone ♪

♪ To see you While the light was on ♪

♪ Nobody gets me Quite like you ♪

♪ Resonating minds Becoming true ♪

♪ My liquorice allsort girl ♪

♪ You are the light Which will guide me ♪

♪ My liquorice allsort girl ♪

♪ You get me in fits Of hysterics ♪

♪ Haven't you heard? ♪

♪ Somebody's listening ♪

♪ To what has become ♪

♪ Of our bodies shimmering ♪

♪ Under the sheets ♪

♪ So naturally beautiful ♪

♪ I can't believe ♪

♪ What I made excuses for ♪

♪ Now we're standing On the sides ♪

♪ Of the shadows Of the songs we shared ♪

♪ All the images we saved ♪

♪ Are just memories Of what we were ♪

♪ Of what we were ♪

♪ Of what we were ♪

I can't do it, man.

All right. I'm sorry. We're coming back.

Your song wasn't that bad, mate.

You two, fuck off!

I need a word with this one.

I'm sorry, Curve. I'm so sorry.

I've let you down.

All I had left was you guys.

Don't worry, mate.

I haven't come here to give you a hard time.

All we can ask of any artist is that they leave a piece of their soul on the stage.

Of course, ideally, they finish the gig first, but...

Well, I know we didn't get to do our full set, but we did enough.

And they liked us, man.

You fucking killed it with that song, mate!

And that is what I've been trying to tell you.

The best music comes out of pain.

You've gotta sing from the fucking heart, mate!

Curve, I'm so sorry.

My name's not the Curve, mate.

And I'm no rock god.

My real name is Derek.

I live in Milton Keynes with me dad. He's a maths teacher.

Do you know what I do when I'm not here with you guys?

I'm the assistant manager at Tesco's.

Out there, I'm a nobody, but when I'm in here with you guys, when I'm sprinkling me magical musical fairy dust for you, well, then, I'm the Curve.

And I fucking love it.

You're the only band I'm working with and you're the only band I believed in and who believed my bullshit.

I live for this, mate.

What about all the stuff in Amsterdam?

Mate, I've never even been to Amsterdam.

I went to Jersey once with me nan. That's it.

What about all the stuff with the Gallaghers?

You're the only Liam I know.

And the only Noel I know works behind the fish counter in Tesco's.

You cheeky bastard.


The thing is, mate, this is your band.

You write all the songs. I just did a bit of titty tweaking for you.

You're a great songwriter.

And now you're a great fucking singer too.

The thing is, man, I was so looking forward to tonight.

It's all I've ever wished for.

But it's like... it's like it meant nothing... because she wasn't here to see it.

Sometimes you have to lose something to know how much you needed it.

You already know what you need to do. Right?

Where are you going?

You're ready. My work here is done.


Are you coming back?

♪ And this is how it starts ♪

♪ You take your shoes off In the back of my van ♪

♪ Yeah, my shirt Looks so good ♪

♪ When it's just Hanging off your back ♪

♪ And she said, "Use your hands And my spare time ♪

♪ We've got one thing in common It's this tongue of mine" ♪

♪ She said, Oh She's got a boyfriend anyway ♪

♪ There's only minutes Before I drop you off ♪

♪ And all we seem to do is Talk about sex ♪

♪ She's got a boyfriend anyway ♪

♪ She's got A boyfriend anyway ♪

♪ I loved your friend When I saw his film ♪

♪ He's got a funny face ♪

♪ But I like that 'Cause he still looks cool ♪

♪ She's got a boyfriend anyway ♪

Do I know you from somewhere?

Don't think so.

It's you, isn't it? You're the crying guitarist.

Um... don't know what you're talking about.

Head Cleaner, right?

Uh, yeah.

It's all over the net. Xylo tweeted about it.

There's even a Crying Guitarist Facebook fan page and everything.


After your meltdown, I checked out some of your songs on SoundCloud.

I really like your shit.

Thank you.

Head Cleaner. I love that name.


Yeah. Bye, then.

Okay. Cab's on the way.

Have you... Have you got the passports?

Uh, we are all checked in. I am just printing the boarding pass...

What's that?

I can't do it, man.

Bad day for Hip Wiper.

It's Head Cleaner.

Um... I'll sort those cases.

♪ You are a light ♪

♪ Which is strong enough ♪

♪ To find me ♪

♪ Blind me ♪

♪ I wish ♪

♪ I was strong enough ♪

♪ To see it Before you were gone ♪

♪ To see it While the light was on ♪

♪ Nobody gets me Quite like you ♪ Someone remembered to pack her bowling balls.

♪ Resonating minds Becoming true ♪

♪ My liquorice allsort girl ♪

♪ You are the light Which will guide me ♪

♪ My liquorice allsort girl ♪

♪ You get me in fits ♪

♪ Of hysterics ♪

It's okay.

Right. I guess that is my cue.

Adrian, I-I'm... It's all right.

It's all right. Really.

I wanted to go to Florence on my own anyway, 'cause you'd just eat all my gelato.

♪ Haven't you heard ♪

♪ Somebody's listening ♪

♪ To what has become ♪

♪ Of our bodies shimmering ♪

♪ Under the sheets ♪ Oh, um, this came for you.

♪ So naturally beautiful ♪

♪ I can't believe ♪

♪ What I made excuses for ♪

♪ Now we're standing On the sides ♪

♪ In the shadows Of the songs we shared ♪

♪ All the images we saved ♪

♪ Are just memories Of what we were ♪

♪ Of what we were ♪

♪ Oh, wonderful one ♪

♪ Why are you like that? ♪

♪ Oh, wonderful one Why are you like that? ♪

♪ Glow in the darkness That's how we do it ♪

♪ Glow in the darkness That's how we do it ♪

♪ Just like the stars Upon your ceiling ♪

♪ That put you to sleep after ♪

♪ Oh, wonderful one Why are you like that? ♪

♪ Oh, wonderful one Why are you like that? ♪

♪ Glow in the darkness That's how we do it ♪

♪ Glow in the darkness That's how we do it ♪

They were all out of heroin.

You were right. I was wrong.

I've been a complete idiot for years.

I want to give you everything you've ever wanted.

If you'll give me another chance.

I want to spend every waking moment that I'm with you making you realize how special and amazing you are.

I've really changed, Nat.

Look, I know I've been trapped in the past, but...

I can't imagine a future without you.

I want to marry you.

I want to commit to you.

I want to have children with you.

I want to grow old, fat, and wrinkly with you.

I want to blast "Ace of Spades" from the stereo in our nursing home, piss off all the other inmates.

I love you.

With all my heart.

Please come back to me.

I know there's another guy in the picture now, but...


Just stop.

You had me at "heroin."

It's always been you.

It always will be.

♪ I love the feeling When we lift off ♪

♪ Watching the world So small below ♪

♪ I love the dreaming When I think of ♪

♪ The safety in the clouds Out my window ♪

♪ I wonder what keeps us So high up ♪

♪ Could there be A love beneath these wings? ♪

♪ If we suddenly fall Should I scream out ♪

♪ Or keep very quiet And cling to my mouth? ♪

♪ As I'm crying So frightened of dying ♪

♪ Relax, yes, I'm trying ♪

♪ But fear's got a hold on me ♪

♪ Yes, this fear's Got a hold on me ♪

♪ Yes, this fear's Got a hold on me ♪

♪ Before I break Just a little more tension ♪

♪ Take just a little less love ♪

♪ Realistic ♪

♪ Break-up in the anarchistic ♪

♪ 'Cause we can't fight a war Even if it is for love ♪

♪ Modern urban hippie chick ♪

♪ You're not in lust I'm feeling lost ♪

♪ You must be lost To find your way ♪

♪ Someone once told me ♪

♪ Will someone please tell me ♪

♪ Just what it takes To find another feeling ♪

♪ If that's what it takes To find another being ♪

♪ Give it and give it And give it till you lost it ♪

♪ Give it And give it and give it Till you lost it ♪

♪ Give it and give it And give it till you lost it ♪

♪ Give it And give it and give it Till you lost it ♪

♪ Now that we are done ♪

♪ Is there anyone listening? ♪

♪ Maybe you're the one ♪

♪ Unless I'm feeling lost ♪

♪ You must be lost To find your way ♪

♪ Someone once told me ♪

♪ Will someone please tell me ♪

♪ Just what it takes To find another feeling ♪

♪ If that's what it takes To find another being ♪

♪ Give it and give it And give it till you lost it ♪

♪ Give it And give it and give it Till you lost it ♪

♪ Give it till you lost it ♪