Mon Oncle (1958) Script

Hold it - that's a bit too much...

Look what you've done! That's not very clever.

I just got them all set up and you knocked them down.

That stuff is expensive.


Oh thank you! Thank you, Mr. Hulot.

But what are you doing? Excuse her, Monsieur Hulot.

You're not a baby anymore. C'mon back inside, back inside.


Monsieur Hulot, would you like a sweet?

Please, please.


Hey, it's your turn.

What's the matter? This is no joke. Couldn't you be more careful?

See the red light? I've been a cabbie these fifteen years.

Never seen anything like it. What's your problem?

Are you crazy? There's nothing wrong with your car.

This is crazy. Are you out of it?

Ah, the kids, the kids!


Forgive me, madam, I am an old hand at driving.

So what? If I may say so, it's a fact, and I repeat it's a fact: brakes are made to stop.

Well, I don't see your problem. I did stop.

Yes but too late...

There's a red light and my blinkers are working.

...and you might be the cause of a very serious accident...

Monsieur! Madam?

It's the kids.

Apologies, madam.

Ah you little rascals!

So, what's the matter?

Bad boy!


Hello. - I just couldn't walk by without stopping and saying hello.

How nice of you. You're quite a stranger these days.

I didn't want to disturb. I know it's still well under construction.

The garden is barely finished. I see, I see.

Why, it's really coming along.

Yes, see, it's beginning to take shape.

Bravo. Bravo.

Oh, it's so practical, everything's connected.

It must be Gerard. Forgive me.

Hello! Won't you come in?

And as you can see, all rooms face south.

And overlook the garden. It's very nice.

I see you've noticed my hat. Yes.

Do you still go to the same milliner? Yes.

Oh, me, I've such a difficult head to fit.

Don't be ridiculous.

Come in and see Gerard.

Gerard, darling, say hello to Madame Dubrevil.

What now! Watch your manners.

Forgive him, you know children...

Gerard! Don't mess up your room.

Take off your shoes and wash your hands.

Do you hear me, Gerard?

Hang up your coat neatly and put on your slippers.

He doesn't even answer me. He simply won't obey. I'm not surprised.

On the other hand, when his uncle calls... that's another story.

He's never last when it's time for fun and games.

Oh, it's so late! We're chatting on and I'm keeping you!

Oh, you know with these modern homes. I understand you.

A house like yours must be such a job! Oh, a leaf!

Ah, yes it's a chore. Admit it, you love it.

Oh, you're terrible. Well, I'll be on my way.

I won't see you to the door. Don't worry I know the way.

Goodbye. See you soon.

No, no. It's just me. C'mon.

Come, come quickly and be quiet.

Come see how hard he's studying. Look.

Just like his father.


It's just half past the hour.

Shall I turn it on? By all means.

Tonight as each night at the same time we bring you Prof. Platoff!

Today's subject: "Work it out yourself."


Excuse me, have you got any grapefruit?

Grapefruits, bah!

Damn it, all of these grapefruits.

Here you go, 350 francs.

But that's not right... for two little grapefruits.

That's too much. I won't pay that for two grapefruits.

Here, take them, see for yourself...

Pardon me, but may I point out that you have a flat tire?

It's very simple, the tire is flat, the truck tips to the left.

This causes the scale to tip as well. Thus, naturally, it is inaccurate.

Let me by. I'm trying to work.


I'm a little embarrassed asking you for such a favor, but I would be relieved to see my brother-in-law in a steady job.

Fine, very well, then just tell your brother-

...brother-in-law... your brother-in-law, to see Miss Venier at personnel.

Fine, in this case, if I may, I'll give him a call right away.

Go ahead.

Thank you.

Hello, operator please: St. Maur 24.

My brother-in-law doesn't have a phone.

But when we need to reach him we can always get him at that number.

Hi, may I speak to Monsieur Hulot, please.

They're calling him.

It's me, Arpel, your brother-in-law.

I have a job for you, at SDRC, coal derivatives.

You must go to...

It's a café, you see...

Why don't you shut the door?

In fifteen minutes, yes, right.

Much obliged, Mr. President.

Goodbye Mr. President.

I'll ask not to be disturbed.


Monsieur please. Thank you, pardon.


Fine, it's very simple. You start at eight and break at twelve.

An hour break for lunch.

You start back at one.

And go on until six.

Sunday's free, of course.

Just a minute.


Well, sir, we'll be in touch. If we need you.

We're not looking for acrobats right now.

No, no, I'd rather you leave this way,

so you can see what's going on without gymnastics.


Madam. What can I do for you?

I'm your neighbor. I'm sorry, but I found this in my garden.

Oh you shouldn't have bothered, my dear!

Come in. I'm sorry I have to receive you this way.

I'd never want to bother you.

Not at all, not at all.

Gerard, look what you've done, you bad boy.

Oh, no! Don't scold him.

Come in. I'm confused.

Please.

Here's the living room.

And here is Gerard's room.

As you can see everything's connected.

This is our very own corner.

The vase.

The whole house is air conditioned and I must tell you, all of this was designed in my husband's factory.

Oh how original! May I sit down?

Absolutely, that's what it's made for.

Oh, my steak!

Well, let's see... two, four.

Could you kindly step aside... it's for the sauce.


Charles, our neighbor.

Bravo, it's all so... extraordinary.

Oh, you're too good.

Forgive me, I have a little present for my boy, Gerard, a surprise, look.

A beautiful engine.

Ah, you're so lucky.

Me, I'm all alone in my big shack.

My umbrella!

See you soon, goodbye.

Telephone!

Hello, yes speaking.

Ah, good, he came in. No, not Huvlot, Hulot.

What...?! He stood...? Hello?! On the desk!

To look, to look at what?

Well done, your brother!

Shush, don't shout.

Ah your brother, the things he gets up to! What has he done, now?

Thirty seconds in a new job and he's fired.

And me, asking the CEO himself for a recommendation!


Fine?

Fine.


I have an idea.

Now that his uncle is free, he can take Gerard out.


Be careful now.


Charles, coffee is served.


It's your turn, Paul.

C'mon let's go now.


Very clever.


Here you go boys, delicious, get your hot and fresh crullers here!

They're piping hot!

Give me extra jam. You got it, and a full measure too.

Lots of sugar, Mister.

I want a big one. A big one for you, I hear you.


Come on, sit down with us.

Got any money?

A client.

Your turn.

You've won.

Go on take your money!

Let's start again.

You've lost.

Hand over the dough.

And mine, too.

You stay here and keep an eye out. Understood?

Quick, let's go, quickly.

Our turn, go on.

You lost.

I won! No it's not true. Give me the money.

He was coming back.

No, it's not true.

Sit down now. Let's play.

Bernard the broom.


Ah that's smart, you should be ashamed.

And a grown man.

Hey, I did it with the broom, right?


Ah no, this doesn't make sense.

Now that's the last straw!

That's going too far.

If he doesn't like it here, he doesn't have to stay.

After all, this house, who built it? Me, of course!

The school, the clothes on his back. Let's see... Me again, of course!

Maybe there's somebody else who wants my place!

Why not, go on, don't be shy!


Why aren't you eating? Are you all right? Are you feeling sick?

I've had it! No, no, no again!

It's always his uncle. Not a good example in the least.

Always the same story, I can't take it anymore.

No, he's gone too far this time!

Charles, c'mon, don't get so upset.

Listen, what my brother needs is a... an objective...

...a home... all this...

Listen, it's our neighbor, come and see.

She's single, an exceptional housekeeper, I've studied her, she's tidy, methodical and charming too.

And so I thought, for my brother... Am I not right? You understand...

Yes! It could be... You'll see.

Look at that, Charles.

Isn't that good? Her house is better kept than ours!

No, no, I have to admit it.

Here's what we're going to do. Sunday we'll have a little party.

We'll casually invite a few friends.

Nothing formal, a little garden party.


You go back inside now...


Georgette, be careful, please.

But I am being careful, ma'am.

My husband's coming.

Follow me. It's almost time and nothing's ready.

How much do I owe you, my friend?

150 francs.

Fine, here you go.

Keep the change.


Charles, hurry up, take the tray. Ah, never mind.

Georgette, are you coming? Ma'am?

Follow me. Sure, ma'am.

Oh, here they are!

What now? We don't need anything!

No way! Charles, deal with this one, please.

What now? Listen don't insist. We've just told you.

We don't need any rugs. We don't need anything.

What now?

It's our neighbor.

Oh my dear friend! How nice of you to come.

I'm little confused. Am I early? After you.

A few friends are coming, and my brother.

Gerard, come and say hello, please.

The right hand!

Hello. Please forgive him.

Now I must leave you, I still have to...

Don't mind me. So who's wearing a nice tie?

You're a big boy, aren't you?

And a good boy?

I know some very good stories.

And I can make some nice paper boats.

Charles your guests are here.

Sure, coming, coming.

The flowers, the flowers.

Oh, how charming!

They're plastic - they last and last.

They do smell like rubber.

Would you like to visit the house? Here we have...

Dear Madam. Walter I'm delighted to see you.

Meet Mr. Pichard, my plant manager.

Please sit down.

I'll tell your mother, Gerard.

We've produced 40,000 meters of plastic hose this month - not bad.

And we don't even have our new machinery yet.

Very interesting.

Refreshments my friends, help yourselves.

Georgette, open the door.

It's my brother.

You're late.


Let's go, dear Walter, sit on the terrace.

Well, what's new?

The trend's promising...

There are indications...

...yes, and not only stocks on the exchange...


You're both too serious.

Join us. We have some delicacies for you.

My dear Pichard, we've been working together for a while now.

I had an idea this morning.

We've been doing well. Production is up...

Come over here.

My brother-in-law.

Mr. Pichard, my right-hand man.

Nice to meet you.

So as I was telling you, I had an idea.

My brother-in-law needs an opportunity, an objective.

You understand me.

Perfectly, Sir.

The time has come for him to stop dreaming and get down to work.

I thought of taking him on board with us.

You know the trust I put in you.

I understand Mr. Arpel.

This is the living room.

But it's so empty.

It's modern, everything's connected.

Gerard's room, and the kitchen there.

But I won't show it to you now... Oh yes, please.

Oh, you're terrible.

Oh, but it's a triumph.

You see, my dear little friends, here is where I'm really home.

Push there for the vegetables.

Sterilization.

Ventilation.

Oh, work work, work all the time.

Husbands!

After you.

Sit down, please. I want you to meet my brother.

Our little neighbor.

Don't mind him, he's always got his head in the clouds.

Mr. Pichard, next to Mrs. Walter.

I'll be right back with you.

Would you care for some tea?

Dear, dear won't you sit on the other side, it would be much more comfortable.

Come sit with us please.

At last, the two of you together.

Our charming neighbor. My brother.

Delighted.

Sit down please, next to our friend.

Take it, it's very practical.

My husband is taking him into his firm.

Have a sip. It's very refreshing.

I'll leave you two alone.

You, I dub you her knight in armor.

I've got a good one.

Your sister is truly charming.

A perfect hostess.

Exceptional qualities.

Without forgetting that Mr. Arpel is a remarkable man.

He has authority, ease.

A couple to be taken as an example, in my opinion. Would you agree?

I said, they're an ideal couple, see.

What a joy for a woman to take care of...

...her home... to have a goal... someone who...

But I talk on and I'm forgetting your tea!

Bring your cup closer. Oh, I'm so clumsy.

And when I say clumsy, I'm not exaggerating.

I have a reputation for it.

You're right, this is really refreshing.

What's happened? It's all wet around here.

Let's go to the other side. It'll be drier.

Oh, my fountain. Is it broken?

Was it you, Georgette?

Don't just stand there. Help me. Do something.

You must have touched something.

What's this?

Turn it off, turn it off, Georgette.

No, to the right, not to the left.

Be calm, be calm.

There must be a leak under the sand. I'll have it repaired in the morning.

No way, we cannot leave it this way.

But what can we do?

It's all right. See. I can fix it.

Gerard go get the tool box.

Let's move to another spot.

Let's take the central path.


Come dear friends, let's settle down here.

Georgette, stay there.

Madame Pichard, here.

The table, lengthwise.

Everyone to the left.

But we can't fit here.

Georgette, don't just stand there, give us a hand.

Let's go this way.

Careful, there you go.

See, take the chair, the chair.

Here we go.

Know the Champarts?

They've built such an adorable cottage. Directoine.

Really charming, right next to the country club.

Let's have tea now.

Oh, I forgot our charming friend hasn't had his tea yet.

For your brother.

He takes it plain!

Lemon? No, nothing thank you.

A light? Gentlemen, your lighters.

No one has a match?

I don't smoke.

I'm sure, my knight.

How tall he is.

I'm saved. Quit searching.

He's so attentive. Such a rare quality.

Gallantry is not dead.

Oh, your brother isn't there anymore.

Where is he? He's disappeared.

Oh, there you are.

Pichard, Pichard where are you?

Here I am, Sir.

Honor to the worker.

Listen, you should take better care of him.

You're a slave driver.

Come, darling, undo my tie.

Come on, hurry up please.

Why shouldn't I lend a hand.

How he's worked!

It's almost finished.

It's finished! Turn it on.

Hurry, go ahead, hurry up.

Turn on the water, turn it on, oh my waist coat!

It will work, you see.

Really I don't understand.

Such wonderful water pressure.

Who is this?

'Evening.

Oh it's a friend, he's come to see me. An extraordinary horseman!

I'm going to prepare some cocktails.

Call him, call him!

Walter, are you all right? But you're hurt!

It's not the moment to play indians, now!

Oh, my garden!


Bravo, well done.

Stop staring and help me, at least.

That was really clever.

It must have hurt you.

Not at all. Goodbye.

Pichard, old chap, look at you.

It's all right. At least, it's fixed.

See you tomorrow at the factory.

Goodbye Mr. Arpel. Your gloves.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Did you receive our flowers? That's all that matters.

Goodbye madam. Pardon me, but the glass...


Oh, go away, away, quick, hide, hide, quickly.

'Bye, see you tonight.

Hurry up!

Could you hold this for me, while I get the door?

Fine, quickly though.

It's a surprise for my husband.

It's for our wedding anniversary.

It absolutely must be ready for this evening.


Sir. Madam.

Oh, your client!

Sir, the director's here.

Thank you, Miss.

He's waiting for you.

Sir, please do sit down.

Here's a sample of our plastic hose, manufactured exclusively by PLASTAC.

We've created the green hose for lawns.

And our newest innovation.

Sir, the shipment from Lyon: it's downstairs. Can we send it?

Sure, tell Mr. Hulot to take care of it.


Hello Pichard, how are you today?

Well, you know, a little achy...

Pichard, my right-hand man.

Sir, I must ask you leave.

Pichard please show the gentleman around the plant.

My pleasure, Mr. Arpel.

I have to see to the new car. Ah, congratulations.

Well sir, I'd like to show you our various departments.

Please follow me. After you.

No, no, to your right.

Hello, here it is. Some line, eh?

Please tell me, how many cylinders?

Don't talk of cylinders or the motor. They'll never open the hood.

Let's just talk about comfort - and the paint job.

Please notice the doors, you close them with one finger.

Same with the back doors.

Well you must have already noticed all of this.

And the suspension?

Ah, the suspension, it's the greatest.


I'll be back in a minute, watch five. Okay?


Here the polymerization is accelerated by the adjunction...


How did you do it?

Like a delicatessen.

You're putting papa Arpel in the grocery business!

You'd better hide it, c'mon. Cut the comedy.

Everything's automatic.

A Saturator leads the hot air...

Permutation. Liquidation...

And the circuit is completed automatically.

The truck holds a lot of luggage, the spare, and the radio aerial.

Here is the bill of sale.

I wonder if you would mind taking my old car back.

Mr. Arpel we've completed the whole tour of the plant.

He found it very interesting.

Mr. Arpel, I must talk to you.

Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Look at what he's done.

I don't believe it. He did this?

Mr. Arpel, sign please.

Miss, please send in Mr. Hulot right away.

He doesn't seem cut out for factory work.

This isn't admissible in a factory of this kind...


Pichard, about the car, don't call my wife.

I want to surprise her. It's our wedding anniversary.


Turn the switch, Georgette, the new one.

Oh he's coming.

The master's here, open the door.

Happy anniversary!

It's a surprise.

I would have never expected...

Come, I'll show you how it works.

And there you go, no more keys.

Tell me, isn't it just the way you wanted it?

Wait a minute.

Happy anniversary.

Oh, it's just a dream.

How beautiful. Wait, I'll get in with you.


Oh Dacky! Come here.

I'm sure it's its fault.

We've got to get it to walk in front of the sensor again.

Ah, here it comes.

But it doesn't work anymore, what are we going to do now?

It's too small, its tail's down now.

Well, perhaps if you shout at it. We must call Georgette.

Georgette.

Yes Ma'am?

Open the door. It's the knob on the right. No, not that one.

Now she's turning on the fountain.

Now she's opening the windows.

Georgette, we're trapped in the garage.

Now, Georgette, listen carefully. You see the two lights there.

Yes, ma'am.

Fine, to open the door just cross the ray of light.

Don't ask me that, ma'am. I'm so afraid of electricity!

Listen to me - there's no risk whatsoever.

Come on, come on, it's an electric eye.

Eye? Oh, no. I'll be electrocuted.

Close your eyes, be brave.

There's a girl, c'mon.

This is ridiculous, you must get used to these things.

I told you there was nothing to be afraid of.

But it scares me.

Close the small door, there's no current there.


Oh, a suicide!

There's some blood.

Please don't go, Roger.

Ah you see, I told you not to go.

I'll get them. You stay out of it.

Come back Roger. You stay there.


How about the Sexy?

I prefer Constantino's - they have nice music.


We had a nice time, didn't we?

And such a great orchestra.


But, but this is the couch.

No, no, and no. This cannot go on anymore. It's ridiculous.

He's setting a bad example for Gerard.

His uncle this, his uncle that.

You sound as if you're jealous. What?

Jealous. Me? Jealous?

Yes, jealous.

Oh, well, have you taken a good look at him?

He must leave.

Hulot, Pichard needs a good salesman in the provinces.

And you fit the bill perfectly.

I've made up my mind.

What a mess!


Contact.

Charles, you're forgetting your gloves, your gloves.

You're forgetting your gloves.


Are you leaving? Leaving?

What a pity!

Goodbye.

Care for a little more color? A spot of red?


Ah Gerard!